Isabella from Encanto could have easily turned into the kind of woman Ming is, if she never broke out from under Abuela's perfect vision and ready made path. Trying to make your Tiger (grand)Mother/ parent/ guardian proud by being perfect in their eyes and not yours, is suffocating.
Because when you have the weight of your family and society's expectations on your shoulders, you will think you are the weak link, the failing pillar, and are the ruin to the family. You are made to believe you are the sole bearer of the concept of "saving or maintaining face" and if you become The Bruno, your whole family will suffer.
And when you try to be yourself, family or society who have very set ways will eventually tell you to "stop all of this". People say that Turning Red's mother daughter relationship is unrealistic and unrelatable, but we had this before. How to Train Your Dragon has addressed it before. Parental rejection of their kid, telling them that their rebelliousness and true self is a disgrace and the biggest disrespect, their words make your whole world crumble. The fear of being disowned is real.
And despite what lots of people saying how Turning Red had weak emotional scenes and how Brave had a weak mother daughter reconciliation. These moments are so important to kids who have been taught to fit the mold. To be seen, to be recognized that they are a different person, and that they are proud despite straying off mother's made path. And willing to accept their child's flaws and interests. It does not have to be gut wrenching and tear jerking. Because kids who grew up with such expectation, often have suppressed emotions. They might not show the relief or even the denial to hear a parent say these things, and someone who didn't experience this life style might not understand the breadth of it. It can be a big flood gate moment for some, because its a deep yearning desire, but for many these two moments is a subtle feeling, because it is a subtle gesture, a subtle change of the dynamic. Mei is very lucky to have had this heart to heart with Ming at just 13. Hiccup, Merida, Mirabel and Isabella are lucky that their parental figure had made the effort to change and see their kids as who they are and not the sum of their expectations. Many of us, who grew up having to be perfect for family or society, probably didn't get it until well into adulthood, some of us only got after moving far away and cutting ties, and some, still haven't gotten it.
Ming, Alma, Elinor, Stoick....they are not perfect, they were suffocating, they were shitty, yet they were willing to change how they show their love to their child. Ming realized she was repeating the way her mother treated her and doesn't want that. Ming takes the step to break the generational trauma by telling her young daughter.Mei is the youngest at 13. Hiccup and Mirabel are 15. Merida and Mulan are 16. Isabella is 21. And that is very important, it doesn't need an ugly cry moment.
Rebuilding and reestablish the parent-child expectation and relationship is easier at a young age, Mei only started to resent her mother and the expectations placed on her.
The other kids, you could see already had it for a number of years and had been trying for years to be seen.
parents, it's called setting boundaries, NOT disrespect.
if your child doesn't wanna talk about something with you or do a certain thing, don't force them. don't hold it against them.
because the more you do, the more they'll pull away from you.
don't make it worse, please. setting boundaries ≠ disrespect.
Could you please write on hero x villian (single parent troupe)? :D I love it sm!!
Just the idea of (either hero or villian) getting all friendly and warm with the other's kid
And the other, at first being like UH UH NOPE STAY AWAY FROM MY KID but soon, after some time of bonding,
the other is the only person they can trust with the safety of their child?
Mmmmm delicious trope yesyes…
(No reposts but reblogs appreciated <3)
Hero tapped their feet against the concrete flooring of Villains basement idly. Hardly paying any attention to their surroundings or the situation they were in, it was all too familiar. They were here a lot.
Ever since Villain got into the whole “kidnapping” thing, Hero had been a frequent visitor at the Villain estate. At first, it was frightening. Then, it turned more into friendly chatting and tea time than business and torture. Hero had nothing against that.
The large door finally began its opening—weirdly enough Villain was ten minutes early this time, that was new—but instead of Hero’s nemesis striding into the room, only a small head poked its way through the door frame. One of a child, a young child, ten at the most took a few nervous steps into the room before closing the door quietly.
Hero blinked in shock, the kid was a mirror reflection of their greatest enemy. Same nose, same eyes, same curious nature… just younger. Had Villain invented some sort of age regressing potion? Was this the same Villain of many years ago?
Lost in thought Hero hardly noticed the child puff up their chest and walk stiff-legged to a stop in front of them. Eyeing them up and down as they furrowed their brows slightly in an attempt to seem menacing. Hero had to stop the small chuckle from escaping their lips at the display.
“Who are you?” Despite the child’s best efforts to seem scary and in charge, their voice came out like a high pitched squeak as they shook a little in their stance.
“I could ask you the same thing.” Hero smiled, finding the younger one quite amusing, but the child didn’t back down.
“Are you Parent’s new lover.”
“The other one isn’t coming back so are you the new one.” There was a slight look of disappointment that crowded the poor kid’s face. They looked upset, as if they had watched their parent go through many heartbreaks and tissue boxes, but was clueless as to how to help.
Parent must have been Villain. That was the only connection that seemed fathomable in this case scenario, besides Hero had known that Villain had a long line of past lovers behind them, so it was only reasonable that this child in front of them was Villains and not the villain themselves.
That was definitely new to Hero. They had never known Villain had a child, and Villain most likely would’ve kept them that way and out of harm for years to come if they had had the chance. Unfortunately for them, this kid was very curious and determined to save their parent’s broken heart.
Adorable. Hero couldn’t help the flutter of pride in their chest for the kid.
Hero contemplated telling Villains child the truth, they surely didn’t want to lie to them and con their way out of this situation—Hero had a feeling that would do more harm to the kid than good—but the truth wasn’t all that easy to explain either. And telling the kid that their only parent is actually a wanted criminal was probably not very smart and Villain would surely have their head for it.
But without having to dwell on it much further, the rushed footsteps of who Hero assumed to be Villain stomping down the stairs towards the basement sounded and Hero found themselves sure of their answer.
“Yes. I am.” Hero was confident in their tone for such a rotten lie, but something in their heart pounded again when the kid broke out into a grin and the stress seemed to evaporate from their shoulders. They were starting to grow fond of this kid and co-parenting with their longtime crush Villain was becoming more and more endearing by the second.
I don't like " gentle parenting " tiktoks because they're often problematic and..? Tricky I guess???? Been seeing a lot of putting their kids in uncomfy situations to show off their high horses.
" gentle parents" telling people
" oh the kids like to eat _____" but they'll not tell the full truth of it all or not tell people their kids have a specific eating habit..
For example a lady told her mother in law that her kids LOVED ham so granny made ham. Well the kids weren't eating it and grandma was upset because she worked her butt off on this special ham so she's like
" you said the kids love ham, why aren't they eating it?"
And the " gentle mom " proceeded to say
" Yeah I told you that they do love ham. Deli ham from a package 😏 "
Grandma asked the kids to at least try a little bit of it and the " gentle mom " then got mad at her for it..
This woman really waited until gramdma cooked a whole dang ham knowing why she cooked it and then dropped the " they only like deli ham " after........
I see this stuff a lot in the gentle parent community where they set up situations in their child's life that will stir conflict just to pull a high and mighty card.
I've also notice a lot of them pull this stuff with their disabled kids
Like no you're not a gentle nor good parent by putting your kid in a situation which YOU knew and started to cause trouble so you could show off your high horse.