pet death, disease

about two years ago we lost a foster kitten. it was a very harrowing experience, when tested we received a faint positive for a dangerous, infectious disease. at the time we had not only her four siblings and young mother in the house but six of our own inside and two we took care of outside. we sanitized every possibly infectious surface, completely got rid of multiple cat trees, steamed our carpets, took every piece of clothing and bedding we had used for months to a laundromat when our own washing machine couldn't keep up. we were almost certain her mother and siblings wouldn't survive long and all we could do was hope ours could. and then nothing happened. her siblings and mother were clear to go to their new homes, none of our cats showed any signs of being unwell, and we concluded that she had died of something else. after she died, while we were still so unsure of the safety of her family and ours, i sat at my computer like i always do when i don't have anything else. i don't know why i thought to, but i searched for a dragon that was born the same day she was. i found one, a tundra that was even black and white like her, and named it after her.

before then, i had not lost a pet since i was around 15-16. im 22 now and in the last five months, ive lost three. all three of them lived long, full, loved lives, and im happy theyre together and no longer in pain. for sydney back in august, i hatched an egg on on the day of his passing, following what i did for gracie in a way.

the last two were the pair we took care of outside, named mommy and baby tabby from when my step mother first found the former taking care of the latter as a kitten and assumed he was her mother. for several reasons - including the fact that even after living around and being fed by humans since she was very young, baby never once let anyone around her if she could help it - my step-mother and father elected to keep them outside while we had to. they were extremely bonded, baby tabby loved mommy more than anything and followed him around constantly. she’d let him eat her food if we didn’t stop him to make sure she ate too, she’d stay nearby while we were petting him even though she never got close, and when he passed back in october we took him an hour from the vet he was put to sleep at all the way home and back just to make sure she could see him one final time and hopefully understand he was gone.

she’s been doing poorly for awhile now and, without going into too much detail, the decision was made to put her to sleep this monday. today i came home from work to my father answering the door to tell me that she had passed. she’s wrapped in a blanket in the garage, curled up in the same bed we carried both sydney and mommy in after they passed. i pet her for the first time today.

the dragons i hatched for mommy three months ago and baby today both have taupe as their primary color. that’s the main thing i wanted to share, just about everything else has spilled out as i sat with her. it’s a nice, fitting color for both their tabby coats, and the fact that they somehow match feels incredible to me.