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nenihippiegirl · 10 months

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Its Time To Go Back Home

in my last day i dont wanna miss the sunrise anymore, when people still sleep he’s the one and only one invites me to go together to see the sunrise. everyone know that i missed that sunrise before, but who care? yeah he’s the only one who care. im going with him to the beach wearing the same outfit when i first arrived. white shirt, white pants and my lovely scarf passed down from my mother.

my energy that day was like a roll coaster. we sang the song we dance. and here’s boys club they fun with they do and i enjoy it when i see another side of them make me more confident to show another side of me

this trip feels new to me, because on this summer it no longer feels lonely in the crowd and even brings new memories from a new place with new people, and new lessons

my heart is full, i loved how i felt.

that time maybe i never wanted to go back home, but the more i felt happy the more i realized that the true happiness is when you go back to your home go back to yourself not just having fun and escape from the reality. and this moment, the moment when i back again to my self, to my soul, to more acceptance, to more love.

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nenihippiegirl · 10 months

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My First August

(the sunrise in my first august)

that night was fun, we played, we laughed, we sang the songs..

until he tell me a story about his father.. we haved a deep conversation and ofcourse lil bit fun bcs i was crying in front of him when he tell me about his role in family and ofcourse he suprised and confused why i crayed?! yeah and i remember he was one of people who dont know me well enough.

bcs the only reason why i crayed is bcs its me. who cry a lot about anything, dramatic and quietly emphatic

until i saw a clock it was 03.00 am. and i guessed i have to go bck in my room when fajr come up i pray and wait the sunrise

and suddenly i heard sound like a head dryer, and it was my roommate cleaning her hair after swim suddenly i realized i slept until i missed the sunrise and she said to me “hey you woke, im sorry its bcs the head dryer right” and than i said “omg i missed it” she said “what? the sunrise?!” i said “yes” and than she tell me “he asked me about u, and i just said that u sleep and he woke u up but u didn’t answer” and that time i smile and i don’t know why im still happy after i missed that sunrise

waiting on the sunset i sit in the terrace with my friends we talk about anything and everything we have been through in our life and learn from each other beautifully

(the sunset in my first august)

it was amazing. saw the foam of the sea, the sun when gets low, the happines, the laugh from everyone and the people who lived here, its all beautiful

i laugh when i run in the beach, i laugh when i saw the foam on my feet, i laugh when people get laugh, and that time i swim in the ocean i feel like the wave was heal me.

when i was swimming one more thing i noticed, when the sun gone the people were gone too except for someone, i saw he was just sitting under umbrella on the beach. My eyes fixated on him without realizing that my friends were calling me to return to the beach

when I came suddenly he greeted me by bringing me his towel to recover my wet and cold body. like a princess who is protected and respected and weirdly at the same time I feel ashamed of myself.

(the midnight)

i just sat on a chair watching people talking and listening and gradually the noise of the crowd was drowned out by a loud voice in my head "why did i feel ashamed of myself when he gave me that towel" thought about it over and over until i guess i found the answer. i just think probably that is because i never respect myself as people always respect me? i dont love my self as my god love me so much. the bottom line made me sink into my thoughts until someone came to me and put the leftover oreo biscuits in my lap. and yes he’s again :) he always comes when i was in my daydreaming, or maybe he just wants to wake me up from my own world and pull me to be present in a world that is more real and more beautiful

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nenihippiegirl · 10 months

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my summer szn

its started with rasa yang tidak asing to me, its feels inferior when I saw his hand holding my favorite drink, standing at the right in the car door, and suddenly i thought in my head “minuman favoriteku digenggam oleh org semengagumkannya”

it was like a daydreaming in silence with the whisper of that voice, and than suddenly someone tapped my right shoulder as soon as I woke up and turned to the right and exactly in front of my eyes is my favorite drink served by him, and seeing his eyes smiling made me feel something

down the road and read the book that I had prepared for my vacation this time, reading page by page until I found a line written “God didn’t create the world and hereafter if it were not for you, you are more valuable than the world and hereafter but what power do you have if you don’t understand your worth? and who able to see the absolute beauty of god all the times is who sees herself as the manifestation of her god” my heart melted, I hold back my tears, feel deep emotions, that line made me can’t stop reading it until I heard a small voice in my ear distracted me from my reading "give her that piece of pizza".

i enjoyed it along the way, I was presented with views of the ocean, houses like palaces and accompanying songs. but ironically that piece of pizza make me overthink and feel special at the same time.

when I arrived at the villa, the first thing I was looking for was my room, the room I imagined the window that opened is a landscape of the ocean.. when I found that window magically the view is exactly what i was imagining before, I immediately ran to the beach and felt the sea. the scent, the sound, and the weather while saying "its feels like a heaven" the people were here had a exotic skin, red hairs, they’re look like swimmers and the surfers exactly as I always imagined in my fantasy all the time of summer vibes

when the sunset gone im turning around to go back, my eyes up and exactly what i saw was the full moon and at that time i guess my first day was the same as that month, it was perfect

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