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mxqdii · 9 months

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cardigan - m.s

pairings: matt sturniolo x reader

summary: cardigan by taylor swift lyrics as matt and readers relationship (idk how to explain just read it)

warning(s): angst, fluff, some sad stuff.

not proofread

and when i felt like i was an old cardigan, under someones bed. you put me on and said i was your favorite.

i sit in my room muffling my sobs as i hear footsteps coming towards the door.

i hear three light knocks along with matts soft voice

"y/n? are you okay?" he asks and i quickly wipe my tears and clear my throat.

"yeah, yeah i'm fine." i croak out and the door slightly opens, the sight of matt filling my eyes with more tears

he sits down on the bed next to me wiping my tears as they fall

"what happened? talk to me." he says tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"i'm no ones favorite person, i know that sounds stupid i just-" you ramble on before getting interrupted.

"you're my favorite person"

a friend to all, is a friend to none, chase two girls, loose the one.

im sitting at home when i get a text from nick saying to come to a movie with him.

i groan, feeling all comfortable in my spot on the couch when i feel my phone vibrate again.

"come on, ill pay if you drive" the text says.

i agree and get ready, pulling up to the triplets house and opening the unlocked door.

nick comes downstairs and i pause

"oh! i almost forgot, i have to get my sweater back from matt, i left it here last time" i say, walking upstairs to matts room.

i forget to knock and just open the door, seeing what was about to be a kiss between matt and some other girl.

matt jumps at the sight of me and tears fill my eyes

"what the fuck matt??" i yell

"its not what it looks like!" he says and i laugh as the tears roll down my cheek

"ohh okay, enlighten me then." i snap back and he looks down to the floor

"i just- i wanted to be sure.." he mumbles

"what?" i say, fidgeting with my rings.

"i'm just- i'm being a friend okay y/n!? i comfort you when you're upset don't i?" he explains

"okay then, tell me you feel absolutely nothing for her then, tell me i'm the only girl you like" i protest, waiting for his response

he stays silent, looking down, which is all of an answer that i need from him.

"you've just lost me matt, goodbye."

but i knew you, playing hide and seek and giving me your weekends.

i sit at the table amongst my friends, them all engaging in the conversation.

meanwhile, i'm looking at old pictures and videos of me and matt, remembering what we had.

the adrenaline, the laughter, the love.

tears brim my eyes but i push them back, not wanting to burst out crying in the middle of lunch.

i come across a video of me and matt trying not to laugh while hiding from chris and nick.

i smile as a tear falls, remembering our movie nights every weekend, our date to the aquarium, everything.

i don't wanna miss him, but how could i not?

you drew stars around my scars, but now im bleeding.

when things got rough, matt was always there. he was the one telling me it was alright, the one who got me through it all, even if it was silly little things.

"no way! i am not going" i protest and matt laughs

"y/n, you have to." he says, grabbing my hand

ive hated going to the doctor since i was little,

(which matt is very aware of.)

sadly he still wants me to go even though im begging him not to make me

(we both know he'll make me go)

"listen, i know you dont like going, but i'll be there the whole time okay? plus it's this appointment and then one more next month, and thats it."

i sigh in defeat, knowing i can't be upset when he makes it all better.

"fine but you're coming to the next one too." i say and he laughs

"its already in my calender" he says with a smile

i stare at the reminder on my phone about tomorrow's doctors appointment, remembering how matt promised he'd go to it with me.

but that was last month, and things were different then.

i feel tears fall down my face, remembering how much better things were with matt.

i go on messages and click on matts contact, debating on calling him.

i groan, putting my phone back in my pocket, driving to the appointment.

but i knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss, i knew you'd haunt all of my what if's

its been 2 months since everything, and me and matt have been texting a little bit since, thing's aren't the same, they never will be.

it'll never be like how it used to.

"matt! stop!" i say laughing

"get off!" i yell with laughter

if someone were to walk in right now, they'd see two lovestruck teenagers in matts bed.

he's currently tickling me to death and attacking me with kisses.

and even though i'm telling him to stop, in this moment, i feel like i've never been happier.

he stops his actions and his face hovers above mine, his eyes flickering to my lips

i smile, and he kisses me softy.

a kiss filled with love and passion, a kiss i'll never forget.

i knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired

me and nick have been on call for a while and somehow the topic stumbled on to matt and the girl i walked in on him with

"yeah i think matt's tired of her or something, me and chris don't really like her either" he says and my eyes widen

"what do you mean he's tired of her?" i ask

"well, he used to be more excited around her but now the most i see him smiling is when he's texting you"

nick says and my heart flutters

i can't go back to matt, not after what he did.

but i do really miss him, and i know he misses me too.

"you should start talking to him more, i know he really hurt you after what he did but i think he's truly changed, he seems just- i dont know- different." nick rambles on

"i dont know nick... after what he did, if he's really changed, he's gonna have to prove it to me." i say.

i knew you'd come back to me.

"happy birthday to y/n, happy birthday to you!" the party sings and i blow out my candles

i am happy, but i can't help but feel like somethings missing.

all my friends and family are here, everyone i know and love, everyone except matt.

i feel sadness fill my thoughts for a moment but brush it off, i can't be sad right now, not here, not today.

i watch as everyone encourages me to open gifts, agreeing while sitting down around the pile of presants.

i open them, listening to the chatter around me and the rain pouring from outside, opening all but 1.

"who's this one from?" i ask, laughing at the handwriting, but nobody answers.

i look around at everyone as they stay silent, making me look down at the writing again, instantly remembering that only matt writes his T's like that.

i smile, unwrapping the gift.

my eyes widen at the sight, its a necklace i said i wanted last year.

he remembered.

a smile, observing it, when suddenly there’s a knock at the door.

i look around, confused because everyone was already here, but still getting up to open the door.

i widen my eyes at the sight of matt, soaking wet, drenched by the rain.

"listen, i'm sorry, truly y/n. i was so fucked up for leading you on like that and then just throwing it all away, it's you y/n it's always been you. you're the one for me, and i know i messed up but i can't sit at home re-reading our texts and watching our old videos, i want you back- please i- i need you back." he says, voice hoarse from crying, tears streaming down his face.

"i-" i try to find the words to respond, but can't

i step out onto the porch where he was standing, letting the rain drench me as well.

pulling matt in, kissing him.

a kiss that will forevermore top any other kiss.

a kiss filled with need and desire, a desire to just be close to eachother again.

we pull away after what feels like forever, and he places his forhead against mine.

"you're always gonna be my favorite"

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cerise-on-top · 3 months

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Hiiiii how have you been love bug? (Please tell me if your uncomfortable with that term since you are non-binary and they/them I’m not sure what nicknames you are uncomfortable with it’s just what I call my friends and just a nickname I have for people in general🫶🏻🫶🏻 ) so I’d like to to request farah with a adhd reader who is hyper forgetful and sometimes has meltdowns ( as someone with adhd)🧡🧡🧡

Hey! I'm fine! Bought some more yarn for my leftover blanket today, which I'm excited to work on! And don't worry, I think love bug is really cute! I don't mind most nicknames, but thank you for being considerate, I really do appreciate it! Hope you're doing well as well ^^

I don't have ADHD, so I don't know at all what it's like for someone with it! I had to do some research on it, so I don't know if these are actually viable methods of helping, but I tried! Please do correct me with something that might help and I'll add it in this post afterwards! I hope this is enjoyable to you regardless! Thank you for the request!

Farah with a Reader with ADHD

Farah doesn’t particularly know a lot about mental illnesses. She may be traumatized, yes, but that doesn’t mean she ever had the time to research any of them. So she’s definitely not the best person to go to when it comes to things like these, but she tries, even if she can’t always understand everything that’s going on. You’re suffering, and that’s enough for her to know she should do something to help you.

You being this forgetful may be a cause of concern for her, though. It’s not every day she meets someone who forgot what they did five minutes prior. It’s especially concerning when it’s something important, though, like seeing a doctor. Although she may be worried for you potentially developing something as severe as dementia eventually, she’ll try to push her worries aside and help you to the best of her abilities. If you ever need reminders, she can help you. Farah remembers and retains things very well, she’s never had any issues with it since she had to in order to get by. If you need to remember something, she’ll remind you a few times a day. You have an appointment? Don’t forget about it tomorrow, I’ll tell you again then. However, she’s also a big fan of post its and will write down whatever it is you may need and place it somewhere she knows you’re going to see it. I know, out of sight, out of mind, but she’ll also text you and have you make reminders on your phone for important things so you don’t forget. Won’t get mad at you for forgetting your anniversary, she can see that it’s hard for you to remember things and won’t yell at you or anything either. However, she will mention that it was your anniversary, or maybe her birthday. For the most part she just wants to spend those days with you, if she can, and will thus remind you. Again, you don’t need to feel ashamed for forgetting, she’ll tell you that it’s quite alright and that you shouldn’t worry. She’s patient like that.

If you have a meltdown in front of her, she definitely would not know what to do at first. Depending on what kind of meltdown it is, she’ll react differently. If it creeps up on you, slowly making you irritated, then she’ll ask you what’s wrong. Regardless of your answer, she’ll ask you how she can help you, if you would like to be left alone or if you would like to take a small break in any way. She gets it and she’ll get you away from whatever is stressing you out so you can slowly recharge. If you really do want to be left alone for a while, she will comply, but will knock on your door to check up on you every once in a while and will bring you some food as well. Farah just wants you to be well, so she’ll take care of you how she thinks might help. Food is always good, food usually helps her, so she hopes it’ll do the same for you as well.

If it’s a sudden meltdown where you don’t know where left and right are anymore, then she’ll get you away from everyone else at first. While she can’t imagine what it’s like for you, it likely isn’t very pleasant for you to be crying and screaming in front of other people. Hoping that you trust her, she’ll try to ground you, asking you how you’re feeling, what you’re feeling and how she could help you. What happened is also another question she would ask you. Again, she won’t really know what to do on her own, but she tries her best. Farah will talk to you in a soothing tone and try to distract you at first so you can calm down a bit. Whether it be cracking a joke or asking you about your top five favorite reptiles. Even if you can’t answer her properly, she’ll just reassure you that it’s okay, that everything is just bad in this moment and that it’ll pass. She’s with you this entire time and won’t leave you unless you want her to. Asks you to breathe a bit with her. In all your time being together, she’s likely learned a breathing technique or two that might help you.

Once your meltdown is over, she’ll be very gentle with you, especially if she can see you’re beating yourself up over it. You really shouldn’t feel ashamed for something that you can’t help, it’s not your fault. If you feel especially down, she’ll give you a kiss on the forehead and get some ice cream with you. Something like a meltdown seems exhausting to her. While she doesn’t want to seem like she’s rewarding you for having a meltdown, she does want you to be kind to yourself afterwards, that’s what the ice cream is for. And if you don’t want ice cream, then some berries, fruits or a small snack will suffice as well. Either way, she’s there for you the entire time until you feel better.

#cod #cod x reader #farah karim #farah karim x reader #I didn't think anyone at all would notice or remember that I'm non binary #I don't really mention that fact as much as other things but it makes me happy that some people do pay attention!#also love bug is a really cute nickname! your friends must be very lucky to have someone like you in their lives!#again I don't have ADHD I only have schizophrenia and there doesn't seem to be too much of an overlap among them #so I really don't know what it's like to live with ADHD but I get the forgetfulness #I have so many reminders on my phone and on small paper notes it's incredible #I also journal every day so I don't forget what I did during the day. that's one of my best habits yet #but yeah I'm also the kind of person who can't remember what they did five minutes ago and it's so very frustrating #sometimes I wanna look something up on google only to forget five seconds later what it was #sometimes retracing my steps helps me remember but not always unfortunately it's very annoying #but we are just so very strong for living with our mental illnesses!!#being mentally ill is exhausting and I can't think of any positives either #I know it may seem hard at times but it's important to be patient with oneself. I learned that the hard way #so please do be kind to yourself anon! you deserve it! you seem like such a nice person!

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michelleleewise · 1 year

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Worthy

Pairing: Dark! Thor x female reader

Warnings: dark themes ahead, anxiety, stalking, yelling, implied drugging, kidnapping, power imbalance, manipulation, coercion, harassment, self esteem issues.

Summary: something tugs at the back of your mind as your life begins to spiral.....

A/n- Happy Thorsday!!! This is my contribution lol heed the warnings! Thanks for reading!! And I appreciate any and all comments/reblogs! You guys are amazing!!

Part three -- Part four-

The next few days pass in a blur as you follow your monotonous routine. Work...home...sleep....repeat. An uneasy feeling settles over you like a fog, the feeling something was escaping you looming as you would wake from your restless night to the feeling of hands on your skin making you shudder. Thor had text everyday asking if you needed his assistance at the store, insistent that he was more then happy to help, and each time you gave an excuse, the last being you didn't have time because of work.

Which is where you sat right now, typing on your computer at your desk, picking up a file from the endless stack that awaited you...the life of a claims adjuster. You thumbed through the file when you heard yelling at reception, looking up seeing none other then Shaun, storming towards your desk, anger all over his face. "Really y/n!? I didn't think you would stoop so low." Shaun yelled storming up to you. "What are you talking about?" You asked puzzled. "Oh I don't know, the blonde muscle bound idiot you sent to my work! You got me fired!" He yelled making you jump. "I...I didn't send anyone to your work." You explained looking around seeing the entire office watching.

"You know y/n, I may have considered taking you back before, but now..." he said looking you up and down, disgust replacing the anger "your not worth it." He sneered stepping back "have a nice life bitch." He snapped, turning and leaving as you stood staring at where he was. You didn't know how to process what just happened when a voice came from the back of the room "y/n, I need to speak to you a moment." You boss said walking back into her office. "Shit.." you muttered, pushing your chair in you took a deep breath walking towards the open door.

You walked in, closing the door "Ms. Maximoff, i am so sorry! I don't know what that was about, but I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." You said sitting across from her. "Iisten, we are running a business here, I can't have your sordid affairs storming into the office every other day." She said sternly. "I know, I totally understand. It won't happen again." You repeated, hoping she would take mercy on you. "Y/n, im afraid I'm going to have to suspend you." She said typing on her computer. "What? Why?" You asked watching her "you need to get your life in order, I'm giving you a week. I hope things are taken care of by then." She said looking at you. "Yes ma'am." You said standing up. You walked to the door grabbing the handle "good luck y/n, I hope you figure things out." She said as you nodded, heading back to your desk.

ooOOoo

You ran into the coffee shop, looking around seeing Maya waving at you from the corner. "Hey! How have you been?" She asked as you sat across from her. "Not good, I got suspended." You said slumping in the chair as she slid a cup to you. "Why? What happened?" She asked sipping her coffee. "Shaun happened." You said with a sigh. "He came to my work yelling and screaming." You said taking a sip of your coffee. "That guy....I swear." She said as your phone buzzed in your pocket making you jump, pulling it out you saw another text from Thor.

T- hello y/n, im afraid they have double booked me tomorrow, so I have to move out session to later. Meet me at the office at 6pm. And let me know when you have time to go to the grocer, like I mentioned I don't mind. Have a good day.

You turned it off, setting it down you rubbed your temples "who was that?" Maya asked watching you "my doctor...reminding me of my appointment." You sighed. "Hey, is it normal for a doctor to call you?" You asked looking up at her. "I don't know, mine never have." She said shrugging. "Well, mine does and honestly it's a bit unnerving." You said. "Well, maybe he just wants to check on you, make sure your ok." She said taking another sip of her coffee "yeah..maybe." you shrugged "it's just..." you trailed off, the feeling coming back like your forgetting something "just what?" She asked furrowing her eyebrows.

"Well, He's really insistent about things, like painfully so. And he's been texting me more and more about taking care of myself...making sure I'm eating right...sugar is bad for you y/n...are you sleeping enough." You rambled, remembering all the messages you had gotten. "Well, he seems like an attentive doctor, nothing wrong with that." She said smiling. "What does he look like? I'm curious." She smiled, leaning her elbows on the table. You picked your phone up searching for their website, scrolling down to the pictures of him and his brother, turning it to face her. "Wait.. which one is he?" She asked grabbing your phone "the blonde one." You said, Shaun's words echoing In your head.."no, he wouldn't.." you thought to yourself seeing Maya fan herself "ooo he's yummy! I'd let him step on me and thank him." She said making you laugh.

You snatched your phone back looking at the picture "it's just..my last session we were doing this like meditation thing." You said seeing her nod "and I fell asleep. When I woke up I was on the couch with a blanket over me." You continued "aww that's cute." She said leaning her chin onto her hands "yes well, anyway when I got home my bra straps were messed up and I had....a bruise." You whispered unsure why. "Y/n, if I'm being honest I think your trying to find reasons not to like the guy, and after what you've been through I understand. But he sounds like he genuinely cares." She said "but...what about the bruise?" You asked raising an eyebrow "look, we all know how clumsy you are, you could have done that at anytime." She said shrugging. "I suppose..." you trailed off staring into your cup.

"Listen, go home and get some rest. Go to your session with an open mind and you'll see, he just wants to help." Maya said smiling "ok, i guess your right." You said, drinking the last of your coffee "I'll see ya later." You said standing up "oh, and feel free to slip him my number." She winked as you turned around "I'll get right on that." You said over your shoulder as you opened the door, making your way to your car. You drove home, pulling into your parking lot you got out seeing a red and white mustang parked in the corner of the lot. You'd never seen it before a few days ago, now it's there every time you get home. "Must be a new tenant." You said, looking at the high gloss paint job and dark tinted windows, you had to admit it was a beautiful car. You made your way upstairs, locking the door behind you walking to the bedroom, laying down on the bed closing your eyes. "Keep an open mind y/n." You said to yourself, drifting off determined tomorrow would be a good day.

ooOOoo

You pulled up to Thor's office, seeing the majority of the lights off inside. Ignoring the knot in your stomach you got out, and headed inside "open mind." You muttered to yourself, going in seeing no one at the desk. Had they all gone home..you thought, slowly walking around the desk "hello?" You called out, getting no response you quietly made your way to Thor's office, a shiver running through you at the silence. You walked up to the door, lifting your hand to knock when you heard voices inside making you freeze. "I told you brother, I have it under control." You heard Thor's voice sound from inside "then when? You cannot keep up this charade much longer." You assumed was Loki "I told you...Tonight." Thor said when you heard shuffling "everything is prepared, do not worry yourself " Thor said sternly when you heard the handle on the door clink.

"Ah, y/n! Did I keep you waiting?" Thor asked opening the door. "N..no! I just got here and was about to knock" you smiled when Loki came up next to him "Well I must be going, have a good night." Loki said, smiling down at you as he walked past. "Come in, have a seat." Thor said waving you on. You sat on the edge of the couch, fidgeting with your shirt watching him walk over to a small table "coffee? I know I need some." He asked laughing "oh..sure." You said looking around. He walked over, handing you a cup before taking the seat across from you "so y/n, tell me about your week." He smiled taking a drink. You watched him nod as you told him about Shaun, about how his fit caused you to get suspended.

"So when do you return to work?" He asked crossing one leg over the other "In a week. My boss said I need to get my life together." You laughed hearing him hum. "You better drink that before it gets cold." He said pointing at the cup. Bringing it to your lips you winced at the bitter taste "mm..no sugar." You said hearing him laugh "it is bad for you" he smiled. "Now, what do you intend to do about your ex?" He asked eyeing you "well, he said I'm not worth it so I think he'll leave me alone." You huffed a small laugh "you are very much worth it." Thor snapped making you jump "you are smart, funny, beautiful.." he trailed off as your mind registered something.."beautiful" the world reverberated in your head.

"Y/n..where did you go?" You heard, a hand on your knee pulling you back to now "sorry, lost in thought." You sighed, taking a big gulp of coffee wanting to finish it as soon as possible but not be rude. "Well if you wish I could help you file a restraining order, do you think that would help?" He asked "a...a what...I'm sorry..." you said looking over at him, watching him set his cup down before sitting back taking his glasses off "I only wish to protect you y/n." He said, placing them in his pocket "what do you mean?" You asked, your mouth suddenly feeling dry making you take another drink "you are so stubborn." He sighed crossing his arms. "I..I don't know..." you trailed off. Your vision swimming as he leaned forward

"If you will not take care of yourself, then I shall." He said sternly. Seeing dark spots in your vision you felt the cup slip from your hand, landing on the floor with a thud. "T..thor...whats...." you tried, your mouth feeling like cotton as you tried to speak. "Just relax, everything will be fine." He smiled. You tried to get up, your head spinning brining you to your knees "p.please...what's ha...happening?" You asked, your eyelids suddenly getting heavy as you saw movement out of the corner of your eye, a grey blotch appearing in front of you when you felt something on your chin, tilting your head up. "I'm going to make sure nothing happens to you again muffin." His voice echoed through your mind as you felt your eyelids drop, darkness surrounding you as you tumbled onto the void.

@springdandelixn @mochie85 @chemtrails-club @slytherclaw1227 @irishhappiness @kats72 @prettysourabbie @siriusly--gay @friendlyneighbourhoodgothicpagan @haidim84

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thetetra · 9 months

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Okay so there's this thing that everyone else understands and it makes no sense to me. they do it to me before flights and my doctor now does it.

check in before you fucking arrive. Checking in the day before.

Huh? Like why?

I paid for the fucking ticket right? I can't get a different seat, if something goes wrong it isn't going to be the day before its going to be along the way. So like what does checking in before I get there do? What's the point? Checking in serves what purpose? I don't get on line before anyone else? I see zero benefit to anyone to checking in ASAP... or at all?

Now my doctor is doing it. So this logic, that I don't understand, is spreading. My appointment is on Friday. Wednesday I get a text asking me to confirm my appointment with the reminder. Awesome! lovely! that's wonderful. Now on Thursday I get asked to check in... like uhh appointment is tomorrow bro. What possible utility can anyone on the face of God's Green Earth gain from this?

I really just want someone to explain it to me because it doesn't make a single bit of fucking sense to me. why? WHY?!

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cutedisneygrl · 7 months

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Love Online Chapter 9

Warnings: none

The next morning Merida woke up to hear alarm and gets ready for her day. She has just gotten out of the shower when she hears her phone go off. She picks it up off the bathroom counter and smiles.

Chris-Good morning my beautiful girlfriend! I hope you have a wonderful day! I look forward to talking to you tonight and texting you during nap time☺️

Merida-Morning my handsome boyfriend! Thanks. I hope you have a great day too! ☺️I can't wait to talk to you tonight, and yes texting during nap time.

Chris-😚☺️

Merida-☺️😚

Chris-Man I would love to see your beautiful face right now.

Merida-Well, not a good idea right now. 😉

Chris-Oh? Why is that? 😉

Merida-*bites lower lip*

Chris-Uh oh! What are you nervous about? 😉

Merida-*continues to bite lip* well I just got out of the shower 🥺

Chris-LOL! Mmm well have to say I would love to see you right now, especially since you're biting that lip 😉and probably being all cute standing in a towel?

Merida-*bites lower lip* actually no. 🥺heard my phone as I got out of the shower and picked it up before I got my towel. 🥺

Chris-😮

Merida-LOL well I really need to finish getting ready for work, so I won't be late.

Chris-Okay babe I will talk to you later. Have a great day 😚

Merida-Thanks, you too. 😚

Merida finishes getting ready then heads to the kitchen and quickly fixes herself a cup of coffee with cream and sugar and a bowl of cereal. She quicky eats then feeds dixie and takes her outside then brushes her teeth then heads to work. She has just gotten to work when her phone goes off. She pulls it out and looks at it.

Tiffany-I just remembered you have your doctor's appointment tomorrow. Let me know how it goes.

Merida-Oh! Thanks for the reminder. I almost forgot it was tomorrow. I will let you know! At work talk later. Love ya.

Tiffany-LOL okay. Love ya too!

Merida heads inside and after signing in she walks into her room. She is greeted by two of her kids who come running up to her and hug her. A little red-haired girl and a blonde-haired boy.

"Miss Meridda!" The red-haired girl said emphasizing the d and a.

"Hey Ashely, hey Billy."

"You're a little later than normal," her co-worker Maranda said.

"Yeah sorry. I got into a...text message this morning and it pushed me behind."

"So how was your weekend?"

"Oh, it was great!"

"Did you and Tiffany have fun in LA?" She winked.

"Yes, we did. I guess you saw the picture!"

"Girl everyone saw it! Everyone has been talking about it this morning. I won't be surprised if Catherine comes in and talk to you about it."

"Am I in trouble?" Merida asks surprised.

"Oh no! I wouldn't think so. We all thought it was so cute and funny too."

"Oh okay."

The girls fed the kids breakfast and after changing their diapers they played in centers for a while then before lunch they went outside and let the kids play.

"So, Merida, I heard you met Chris Evans." One of the girls she works with said while they were outside on the playground.

Merida smiled. "Yes, I did."

"Is he as hot in person as he in on TV and pictures?"

"Oh yes!"

"I saw where you kissed him." Another girl said.

Merida smiled. "Yeah."

"Is he good kisser?"

"Yes, he is." Merida smiled again.

"So, are you two dating?"

"As of last night, yes."

"Really! Are you serious?" Maranda screamed.

"Yes. He asked me last night... and I said yes. So we are."

"Oh, wow girl! You are so lucky!"

Merida smiles. "Yeah, I guess."

"You guess! Girl I would kill to be in your shoes! To be on his arm and walk to the red carpet with him. OMG I would just die! He has a great ass too!"

"Maranda!" Merida screamed.

"Well, he does!"

"You better hope one the kids didn't hear you say that, or we will be in trouble!"

"I didn't say it that loud and tell me you haven't noticed it!"

"No actually I haven't. I noticed his smile though and his beautiful eyes."

"Oh yes, that smile and my gosh those eyes!" Maranda says putting her hand on her chest after she said oh my gosh.

"So, tell me what is he like?" Another girl asked.

"Well, he is kind, understanding, caring, sweet and the perfect gentleman."

"Aww."

"Well, it's time for us to go in." Merida says walking towards the door.

Merida gathers up her kids and they head back into their classroom. Her coworker Maranda walks behind the last kid. After they in the classroom they wash hands and get ready for lunch. After eating lunch Merida changes diapers while her coworker gets the beds out. When nap time comes Maranda helps her gets the kids down and then takes her break. Merida is left alone and as she pats one of her kids, she feels her phone vibrate.

Chris-Hey beautiful! How is your day going?"

Merida-It's going well. Guess what?

Chris-What?

Merida-Your famous around here. All the girls saw the post and I have been getting all kinds of questions. I can't tell you everything they said, but...

Chris-LOL and why can't you tell you me everything?😉

Merida-because some of the things are kind of bad lol and... *bites lower lip*

Chris-😮Must be pretty bad especially if you biting that lip 😉

Merida-Yeah. Crazy fan girls 😉lol

Chris-lol let me guess one of them said something about my ass?

Merida-Chris! OMG! Language!

Chris-LOL, they did, didn't they?

Merida-Maybe 😉

Chris-LOL okay fine babe so what else is going on?

Merida-Well right now I am patting a kid to sleep, and Tiff reminded me that my doctor's appointment is tomorrow. I almost forgot about it.

Chris-☺️what time is your appointment?

Merida-8am I'm nervous Chris.

Chris-It will be okay. You can call me when you get done.

Merida-Okay. I just hope I get good news.

Chris-Me too. I need to get going but I will talk to you later tonight, okay?

Merida-Okay. Have a good day.

Chris-you too babe 😚

Merida-☺️😚

The rest of the day went by fast. Maranda leaves after snack and Merida is left alone. She changes the kids diapers and lets them play in centers for a while before helping them clean up and taking them outside.

"So, Mer, do you and Chris FaceTime?" One of the girls asks.

"Yes."

"Do you talk every night?"

"Yes."

"I bet the distance is hard."

"Well, we just started dating and just met so...but yes. It will be I know."

"When will you see him again you think?"

"I have no idea. Probably not till November sometime."

"Wow, that long!"

"Yeah. He's working on his next project."

"Oh? What is he working on?"

"Uh...I don't know."

"He hasn't told you?"

"Uh...no not really." Merida hated lying but she had promised Chris wouldn't tell anyone what his next movie was.

"Not really? So, you kind of know?"

Merida laughs. "No, I don't know."

"Mm okay if you say so."

When Merida's last kid left, she cleaned up her room and was heading out when Catherine stopped her.

"Merida, can I talk to you a minute?"

"Sure." Merida walks into the office and sits down in front of the desk.

"I heard all about your weekend and I saw the pictures on the media."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Chris said he was trying to be careful. We..."

"No, it's okay. You're not in trouble. I just want to make sure it won't affect your job."

"Oh no of course not! Why would it?"

"Well, with the media being what it is, and how lies get started and pictures get taken. I don't want it to come back and affect you in any way. I'm not discouraging you or trying to hurt you but..."

"I know what you're saying. He and I have just started dating, so its still in the early stages and I know how careful he is about his private life or tries to be. I can always talk to him about it if I need to."

"No, as long as you understand and are careful. I'm sure he is a great guy, and I am happy for you."

"Thanks Catherine. He is. I never expected it to happen."

"I'm sure you didn't. I know you have struggled with dating in the past. So..."

"Yes. I am still scared."

"Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

"Thanks Catherine."

"Welcome, and have you talked to Chris about it?"

"No."

"You should."

"I will try. Oh, and I will be late tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment."

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know."

"I will message you when I am on my way here."

"Sounds good. Have a goodnight Merida."

"You too thanks."

Merida leaves Catherine's office and says bye to her other coworkers and heads to her car. When Merida arrives home, Dixie greets her at the door.

"Hey girl! You ready to go out?" Merida says putting her stuff down.

Dixie barks.

"Okay let me grab your leash."

Merida grabs Dixie's leash and they head out. They had just gotten out the door and were headed towards the sidewalk when her phone vibrates.

Chris-Hey babe! Are you home?

Merida-Yes, I am walking Dixie.

Chris-I am walking Dodger ☺️can I FaceTime you?

Merida-Yes

Chris FaceTime's her.

"Hey."

"Hey beautiful! How's my girl?"

"I'm okay."

"Just, okay? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Mer, are you lying to me?" He asks raising his eyebrow.

"No, not really."

"Not really? What's up? Talk to me."

Merida bites her lip.

"Oh no, there's that lip biting that tells me your nervous. What's up?"

"It's nothing. Promise."

"Mer. Come on, you can tell me."

"Chris, honest. It's nothing. I'm just..."

"Are you still nervous about tomorrow?

"Yes. I hate going to the doctor."

"Yeah, I understand that. I do too. It will be okay. Remember I told you that you can call me when you get done."

"I know and I will."

"Okay, is that all that's bothering you?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"Alright. Well, you know you can always talk to me. About anything."

"I know."

"So how is Dixie? Is she learning how to use a leash?"

"Yes," she laughs. "She's getting there. Oh, I plan to call someone to help me get a fence built in my yard soon."

"Great! Then it will be easier to take Dixie out. You won't have to keep her on a leash."

"Yeah. She is stubborn at times, and I don't want her to run off."

"Yeah. Dodger can be stubborn at times." Chris laughs.

"He is so cute though! I haven't seen a post about him in a while."

"Yeah, I've been a little preoccupied." He winks and smiles.

"Are you saying I'm a distraction?" Merida smiles.

"Oh no babe! Of course not! But I have been busy with filming and then I talk to this wonderful girl who just recently became my girlfriend." Chris smiles.

Merida smiles. "Aww Chris."

"God, I love it when you smile. You have such a beautiful smile."

Merida blushes and bites her lip just little.

"And there's that lip biting again. Your so shy but cute. I love it."

Merida walks back toward her house and opens her door and lets Dixie off the leash.

"Your back home now?"

"Yes. I need to figure out what I am going to eat now."

Chris laughs. "Well, I'll let you go so you eat."

"You don't have to hang up. I can do both."

Chris laughs. "I actually do need to go. I am meeting up with my brother. I will text you later, okay babe?"

"Alright."

"Enjoy your dinner," he blows her a kiss.

"Bye Chris," Merida smiles.

Merida ends the call, and she fixes herself a sandwich. She sits down on the couch and flips through Netflix and finds the movie The Little Mermaid. She smiles, remembering how her and Chris sang the songs. She hits play.

Merida-Guess what I am watching ☺️

A few minutes later she gets a reply.

Chris-And what are you watching? 😉

Merida-The Little Mermaid

Chris-Aww one of my favorites ☺️I would love to be there sitting beside you watching it with you. 🥺

Merida-Aww I know me too. I would love to watch it with you and sing all the songs.

Chris-Oh would you actually sing all them this time and not be all shy on me?

Merida-Maybe ☺️

Chris-LOL well hopefully one day we can babe. 😚Message ya later with my brother.

Merida-Okay, have fun. 😚☺️

Chris-☺️definitely will. I always do when we are together LOL

Merida-LOL yeah I know. I've seen you guys together your funny.

Chris-LOL Oh no! What have you been watching?

Merida-Nothing specific but I have some of the videos on your Instagram page of the jokes and things you do to each other.

Chris-Oh yeah. LOL He's a nut.

Merida-Lol, yeah but so are you. ☺️

Chris-Hey! 😢

Merida-☺️😚I'm sorry, but you are. You are funny but your fun to be around so it's okay.

Chris-thanks babe, and I your fun to be around too. Alright I really need to go now. I'll message ya later 😚

Merida-Okay 😚

Merida finished her movie while she ate her dinner then cleaned up and took Dixie out again then got into bed and read. She was currently reading Ella Enchanted. Merida was almost asleep when she heard her phone go off.

Chris-Hey babe, you still awake?

Merida-Yeah. I was almost asleep then I heard my phone.

Chris-Oh I'm sorry did I wake you? I don't even know what time it is.

Merida-It is 3 something, I think.

Chris-Oh babe I'm sorry.

Merida-It's okay. I was trying to stay awake. I was reading and got tired. Are you at home?

Chris-Just got home. Can I FaceTime you?

Merida-I guess. I look terrible. I'm half asleep.

Chris-Aww I'm sure you don't look terrible. I know your beautiful.

Merida-Awww 🥺

Then Chris FaceTime's her.

"Hi."

"Well hey babe. Your beautiful!"

"Thanks Chris."

"Welcome babe. So, your appointment is at 8 right?"

"Yes. Ugg...I wish I didn't have to go."

"It will be okay. Remember to call when you get done."

"I will. I will be heading into work after that."

"Okay. Well, I guess I should let you get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight babe. Sweet dreams."

"Night. Talk to you later."

They hung up and Merida put her phone on the table beside her and rolled over and went to sleep.

The next morning, she awoke and saw that is 6:45. She quickly got a shower, put in her contacts, applied a little make up and got dressed then got her coffee and ate her breakfast. After she finished her breakfast, she washed her dishes then took Dixie out and left for her appointment.

She arrived at the doctor's office right on time. Once her name was called, she went in and got her checkup. They took some blood and scans of her and checked her out. Right before the doctor left, she told Merida she wanted her to come back in a week for another checkup. Merida asked why, what was wrong? But the doctor just said she needed her to come back that they would look at her results. Merida left the office worried. As she walked to her car, she called Chris. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey babe, how did it go?

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"They checked me out, took blood and did some scans, but she said she wants me to come back in a week for another checkup and show me my results. Chris I'm scared. What if something is wrong?"

"Babe, I'm sure everything is okay."

"But the way the doctor looked, the look her face. She wouldn't tell me anything. She just said to come back in a week. Chris I'm so scared. I can't do this!" Merida cried as she got into her car.

"Babe, hey I'm here, its okay. Would you want me to go with you?"

"I can't ask you to do that. I know your working on your new movie and..."

"Hey, I can work it out, if you need me, I'll be there."

"Chris that's sweet of you but I can't ask you to do that."

"Babe, you didn't ask me, I'm offering. It's not a problem. I can make it work. Just say the word and I can be there."

"Chris..." Merida cried.

"Aww Babe, don't cry please. I can't stand to hear you cry. I wish I was there with you. Listen to me, I will be there. Just let me know when your appointment is, and I will be there."

Merida bites her lower lip and remains quiet.

"Babe, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Chris you're so sweet. It is next Friday at 1:00 pm."

"Alright I will work it out and I will be there."

"Thanks Chris that is so sweet of you."

"Babe, I'm here for you always! I care about you."

"I know you do, and I care about you too. Thanks Chris."

"Your welcome babe. We can talk about the details later alright?"

"Okay. I need to head into work now."

"Alright babe. I'll talk to you later. Message me at nap time?"

"Of course."

"Alright babe. Later kisses."

They hung up and Merida headed into work. Catherine could tell as soon as she walked in the door that something was wrong.

"Merida, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"How did you appointment go?"

"Okay, I guess. I don't know."

Catherine had been like a mother to her for the five years she had been working at the daycare. The mother she never had.

"Come in and talk to me for a minute. You don't have many kids yet."

Merida walks into Catherine's office and sat down in front of her desk just as Catherine closed the door.

Tag List: @cevansbaby-dove @nicoline1998enilocin @lizette50 @katherineswritingsblog @cutelatinagirl

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clunelover · 12 days

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Today I really hit a wall on Men. Specifically the male attitude of "helpful women are like virtual calendars/a substitute for remembering things."

Sequence of events:

E is in their school play, and once the date and time is up and the (free) tickets are available, I forward the email to everyone in the family. The play has two showtimes, a 10 am and 6:30 pm.

Unrelated to play, I offer to host a birthday dinner for my stepdad. I text everyone the date and time and say what I'll be cooking.

One week before bday dinner: my dad texts to ask "is the dinner thing this weekend or next weekend?"

At 4:45 on the day of the dinner: Stepdad (guest of honor) texts me "we're meeting at 5, right?" Nope, it's 6! Hey, at least he asked instead of coming an hour early??

During the dinner, the topic of the play comes up. My dad and stepdad both want a reminder of when/where it is. I try to calmly say, and then my dad says "oh I might prefer to go to the morning show time, can I do that?" [lengthy digressions about the different showtimes and the ticketing website, ultimately leading to my dad needing to see if he's actually free in the morning.]

Yesterday, I text my dad to ask if he decided on which show so I'd know whether to get him a ticket for the morning (he can't work the ticketing website). No reply. The play is on Wednesday.

Today, I take E to therapy. On the way back to school, they tell me that at the bday dinner party, my dad said "hey E, gimme a kiss" on his way out the door, and they didn't want to but didn't feel like they could say no (I didn't notice this happening in the moment). We have a big discussion about how I definitely want them to feel like they can say no, they DO NOT have to worry about hurting grandpa's feelings, I will tell grandpa that he should not say "gimme a kiss" to either of my kids and try to have my antenna up at future gatherings. I drop them off at school.

Literally as soon as I drop them off, my dad texts me back about the play - "when is it, tomorrow? I have a doctor appointment at 10."

Blood starts coming out of my ears and mouth. I'm so angry I drive into a ditch while screaming "fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou!" (...not really but that's how I feel)

I reply "the play is tomorrow. There is a 10 am show and a 6:30 pm show. I got you a ticket for 6:30. At dinner on Saturday, you said you might prefer to come to the morning show. But if you have a doctor's appointment at 10, sounds like 6:30 is the best bet. Hope to see you there!"

He replies, "Don't get mad, but where is it? At the school? What's the name of the school?" [he's definitely managed to show up at this school once or twice before. BUT no, the play is not at the school cause there's not enough room there. It's at a church and all that info is in the email I forwarded everyone]

[blackness and tv static noise]

I finally get settled in to my work computer. The first thing I see is a message from my middle aged man coworker saying "hey when you get in can you tell me again how to do a merge request? I'm trying to make myself a checklist so I stop getting it wrong" (a document on this process already exists, as well as two different video recordings, one of which is actually a video of me training THIS VERY GUY. Oh and by the way, there's one other person on my team who knows the procedure inside and out...a male person...but somehow the messages asking for help are sent ONLY TO ME?!?!)

I'm seriously going to lose my fucking mind. I mean the #1 priority is tackling the bodily autonomy stuff for my kid's safety. As for the rest of it, the answer is probably to stop answering these messages and see what happens, but I fear that will lead to worse things (panicked day-of calls that will cause me more stress than a text...or in the case of my stepdad's party, him just being there an hour early to piss me off and get underfoot, and okay maybe you say "that's fine, put him to work!" but in case this post doesn't make clear, these men will find a way to make a simple delegated chore into my problem too.)

#the perils of living near family #why are men

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padawansuggest · 1 year

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Today has been. A fucking roller coaster. As per my post this morning I know I told y’all I woke up at a 9 that spiraled into a ten but lemme tell you what overall happened.

Got back to sleep around 3 hours after I got the nerves to calm down

Woke up four hours later at a 9 that only just barely didn’t spiral

I didn’t even use the bathroom I just pulled on a bra and shorts and a dress and grabbed the bag I made up that morning and left the house for urgent care. No ambulance for UC but it’s literally just around the corner

Only go there instead of ER cause sis reminded me my GP JUST swapped over there so it’s time to get some real help from someone who doesn’t think I’m drug seeking even if I’m at a pain level so high I’m considering S-wording myself

She tells me that even if I have all the symptoms but dryness from sjögrens, a flare up isn’t supposed to be a 9-10 so she thinks it’s an infection and tells me to get antibiotics and oxycodone

Lol as much as I was blinking to stay awake in the store and also I accidentally texted a no-reply number but idk if someone on the other end saw that lmao, it’s not as powerful as they say

So the pain is THAT bad

Two hours later the pain was that bad again

I tried to nap I took pain killers I took another oxy two hours early I played a video game

I am considering if I want the next oxy now that I am past the time limit idk it’s not that bad probably because I’ve been rubbing numbing gels all over my face for hours

Anbesol was really perfect for helping numb my mouth enough to eat something with actual texture to it so that was nice

Idk man it’s been a long ass day and all this shit and it’s still not enough

Istg if this one isn’t gotten rid of with antibiotics I’m gonna scream. Doc seems convinced it’s an infection rollover and I trust her but the ER doctor (while they are always very nice and helpful to me, they’re only really useful for shit like emergency imaging which the radiation tech loves cause he gets overtime lmao) was like. Yeah we could give you a different antibiotic… and made it seem like it was cautionary and not the real solution but idk wake up at a 9 twice in one and maybe it’s an infection

Srsly I got a mental health appointment for the 21st but I’m starting to think if I wake up at a 9 more than twice in one day tomorrow I’m not gonna make it to the 21st

My only saving grace is that I didn’t get sugar at the store. This may seem odd but I am allergic to cane sugar, but when I’m stressed I don’t binge but I do reach for the sugar and end up with mouth ulcers so that’s not like. Nice. Proud of my for avoiding sugar and alcohol in a single trip. Of course, I am also on oxy so idk I don’t wanna DIE

Btw nicest pharmacist ever, he said that since I had a drug I was also picking up today that wouldn’t be safe with oxy, the insurance would not cover the oxy, so he swapped it from 25$ capsules to 8$ tablets and I was okay with paying full for only 8$ lmao he’s amazing.

Um. Love y’all. Glad I went to ER a few days ago and glad sis reminded me they ain’t shit and to go to doc UC today.

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goodjobsadie · 2 years

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maaaan lemme tell y'all a silly little story about my day.

I am going to a wedding this weekend. I ordered little boots to go with a dress I have been saving. The tracking dropped off yesterday and idk if they'll come in time.

I only own doc martens and beat up sandals. no other style of shoe. no flats, not heels, period. ay. i'm also in no position to go out and buy more shoes.

could I borrow some shoes? I have size 6 feet, which is uh, pretty hard to come by. the only person I could think of who has small feet is my friend Ruby's sporty ass lil girlfriend. so in a long-shot I ask Ruby if Gaby has any heels. So Ruby looks around the apartment and then is like 'Gaby is really confused you gotta text her lol'. so I do and apologize and wait a few hours.

I left class early to go to a doctors appointment THAT IS TOMORROW. they told me whoops wrong day, and then a nurse chased me outside to say 'naw let's fit you in.' so I sat in a room until we came to the conclusion that the meds I need aren't in the system yet so we couldn't do it anyway. c'est la vie.

so I biked a few miles in the rain home, had a good laugh, ate dinner, etc.

Gaby finally texted me that she owns tan heels in a 6.5 that I can borrow for the wedding, god bless america. I really didn't see this one coming. I also hit refresh on the tracking info and supposedly, my package will arrive tomorrow.

and this is all without mentioning that I started my day by talking to a guy who was dressed like Luigi walking by my house. remembering that i talked to a weird guy dressed as Luigi is kinda like the morning I was walking to work and found an unopened undamaged box of granola bars on a bridge and forgot about them till the evening when I got home. like it's just a little reminder that reality is flimsy, time is subjective, and that this current timeline is definitely broken.

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marcholasmoth · 9 months

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OSRR: 3311

i went to the doctor today to check up on my shoulder and i got the official all clear and "come back as needed" so i'm happy to say that my shoulder is good now 💪

considering i completely forgot about the appointment, we took that as a good sign too lol

i got to come home today! i got to sit and ask mom about how to handle the sexism in the IT department and what she would do and how to approach it next time it happens because it will because people are predictable and sexist and basically i'll say "i am GSOC, this is what GSOC is saying, and you don't need anyone else's opinion." something like that or "of course i'm certain you'd like to explain to the VP of HR why i, a global security analyst, am neither believed nor trusted to give correct information on a subject that i brought to you to fix, im sure that would be fine and you would totally keep your job."

basically it's "fuck you, i'll get you fired" in corporate. which sounds like fun. i just need to channel my inner linda.

for dinner we had stir fry which was surprisingly good despite it being the first time making it in the house. mom was nervous and so was i lol so chelsea walked us through it and it was fine lmao

rip

anyway, i'm tired and tired and i was sad earlier because i was reminded of my path to get where i am and the line from taylor swift's song "this is me trying" that goes "they told me all of my cages were mental,/ so i got wasted like all my potential" and i felt that on a spiritual level as i have from day one bc rip me ig

anyway it's time for sleeping because i have a lot to do tomorrow

but also one or two last things:

1) my mom is praying for me to come back to church. i'm amazed that i can sit and listen to her talk without getting a panic attack or something. she's so wrong on so many levels and has made so many assumptions about me and my experiences, and has basically discounted everything that i've told her about my experiences as something that's "not perceived correctly." and i'm like "bitch?? how tf am i supposed to perceive it???" that shit is HOSTILE and i'm not about that. if someone 'needs' me or even if the whole goddamn room 'needs' me, that's still not a good enough reason for me to be there. count me the fuck out.

2) joel has been super duper sweet to me lately. on sunday we talked about us moving together and it made me happy and i got us lunch today and before anything happened he just texted me "love you <3" and it made me so happy?? like he thinks of me so much and he considers how i feel and he values my opinions and what i think and he listens and he is so good to me. i'm so happy he is exactly who he is because he's a good man and i'm happy i have him in my life. i love him so much. i'm happy.

#molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #3000s #3300s #sunshine boy

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shammyb · 11 months

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My mama called me yesterday morning, telling me she had a mole on her face checked out and it is melanoma. They sent out a biopsy to find out what stage it’s at, and we’ll be talking soon, as she shoudl hopefully know within the next couple days tops. We had a really nice, long talk, but every time I think about what she said to me and that my literal creator may be dying (which ya we are always all dying technically but theres something different when you find its caused by cancer), I break into choking tears. Today I took the day off work, road my bike all the way out to the sandy river, wrote a lot about her and other little things, but bringing it back to her, while tears dripped on my pages, and birds flew over the water I was laying infront of, with joy. I biked over to a target nearby after that, to try on a couple bathing suits, because i figured why not, and I was feeling extremely body dysmorphic, not liking how I look at the moment---then it all bringing me back to being a child in the dressing room with my mom, as she looked at herself in the mirror, crying at how she looked, though i always thought she looked so perfect; my creator, my god. I’ll probably have to call out of work again tomorrow, which i’m not looking forward to, as I don’t have that much money these days since I quit dancing, and so much of my money went into fixing my car, literally only for my car to get a mold problem when we had terrible rainfall and make it undriveable (i found out i’m allergic to mold). I also so a doctor the other day at Planned parenthood, after waiting for literally an hour after when my appointment was scheduled, and was referred to an ultrasound tech to check out my uterus, because sounds like I may have an ovarian cyst. I’ve known somethings going on in my body for a long time, and recently I’ve been having my period every 2 weeks. Being on OHP has been frustrating, as it’s already difficult to make doctor appointments for me, as last time I went to get an ultrasound, like in December or something, I never got a call back from the doctors who said they would call me back after my imaging was complete to follow up/make next steps. But this time its with planned parenthood, and they have a more thorough, caring process when it comes to that stuff, so I’m hopeful that this time we’ll figure the fuck out what's going on inside my body. I’ve been wishing I could be held these last couple days. I don’t get to see my partner until Monday, and my parents literally live on the other side of the country, and I just want to curl up and be in safe, loving, arms. It’s difficult to picture life without my mom in it. She’s so sweet, so caring, and I will have to write an entire separate post sometimes about how big her heart is. I held so much resentment for things she wasn’t able to do out of fear in my past, but shes shown me for a while now (since my parents moved away) how shes been trying to be there, and send me post cards about things that reminded her of me, silly little gifts like a mug covered in bees (because I love bees), and just always calls and texts me that shes thinking of me and loves me these days. Shes been actively showing her love and she literally created me, and is just such a compassionate person...I dunno. I feel like I’m going through my 6-year breakup all over again lol, because of how headachy this is making me. For all I know, it could only be stage one and easily removed, but it also could be anywhere beyond, and time is just feeling extra extra valuable now. Lowell hasn’t said much and said he wont be available until monday and im trying not to think too much into that but I feel sad that I can’t be in his arms and that he isn’t willing to be more immediately available. We’ll see how all that works out and what he has to say/how he’ll be there on Monday.. Anyway, ya. scrambled but, after returning home from my bikeride, I decided to walk to the climbing gym, since I’ve not been making the time to go over the last couple months, frequently...But something in me told me I need to start being better at going again, for my mom. Because I love it, and she knows I love it too, and its def a form of self care for me. I’m glad I went, because I ran into a long time climbing pal, Sergey, and told him the news I just found out, and he started tearing up because it reminded him of how his mom passed and we hugged for a moment and it was very comforting and he wanted to give me some strength and yeah, i’m just glad I got to see a trusted community member who was able to give a supportive gesture. Anyway, I walked home after that with a big headache, got home almost an hour later (not a short walk lol), and made myself some ramen and had an apple w peanut butter for desert. My stomach has been in knots the last two days. I have always had bad IBS stuff, but I think its also related to both my maybe-cyst, and def my moms news. Like I’ve said before, when it rains, it pours. Feel free to send any kind words my way. Thanks for reading, if you took all that time to. Writing saves me. Goodnight, maybe.

#melanoma #skin cancer #journal #rant #ramble #ibs #grief #grieving #depression #myself #my mom #I love my mom #My mom is my god

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originalhybridloverfics-backup · 1 year

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Ch4 What You Gave Me

The Drive back to Felicity’s place was quiet, which she appreciated.

It wasn’t until John parked outside her apartment building that he finally spoke. “Is there something going on with you I don’t know about? Things seem tense with you, Oliver, and Laurel.”

Felicity sighed heavily. She didn’t want to give some lame excuse, and John deserved better than that. “You’re not wrong.”

Felicity blew out a slow breath. “I was involved with Tommy.”

Felicity watched as a myriad of emotions played across John’s face, the strongest being sympathy.

“It wasn’t serious at first, but then it was and now he’s gone and I honestly don’t know where I go from here,” Felicity continued.

“You take it day by day,” said John. “It’s the only thing you can do. Just know you have people who are here for you.”

Felicity nodded, undoing her seatbelt.

“Does Oliver and Laurel know about you and Merlyn?” John wondered. “Cause that would explain a lot.”

“Oliver knows. Laurel doesn’t.” Felicity shook her head. “I don’t want to keep talking about this. I need to call it a day.”

Felicity quickly said goodbye and headed into her building, knowing John wouldn’t leave until she was safely inside.

Once inside, Felicity got herself a glass of water and settled on her couch, checking her phone messages.

There was one from work, another from her mom, and one from her doctor, reminding her she had her first doctor appointment for the baby in a few days.

A weight appeared on her chest, her skin tight, her throat closing.

Her mind whirling with the possibilities of tomorrow, facing the reality that she was growing another human being inside of her and she didnt’t know what to feel.

Felicity wasn’t familiar with an anxiety attack, but she was certain that was what she was feeling.

She closed her eyes and took slow breaths, urging herself to calm down and relax. At first, it didn’t appear to be working, but finally, after long minutes, the feeling eased and she felt she could breathe again.

Repeating John’s words in her head like a mantra.

Take it one day at a time. That’s all you can do.

One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time.

Take it one day at a time.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Sitting beside Laurel as she drove, Oliver fought the urge to call Felicity and check on her.

His hand hovered over her name in his contacts.

“Ollie, could you put the phone down? I need you to be here with me in the now.” Laurel kept her voice in that weak tone, hoping to appeal to him.

Oliver sighed and turned off his phone, shutting down all temptation to call or text Felicity. “I’m here.” He winced at the flat sound of his voice, but he didn’t want to be here.

The car fell uncomfortably quiet until Laurel broke it. “I was thinking we could go by that Chinese place Tommy loved and then to my place. Eat chines food and have some wine to remember him by.”

“Yeah, sure.” It sounded awful but oliver agreed, anyway.

Half an hour later, they were sitting on Laurel’s couch. She was chatting away about city repairs and how CNRI would need a new building to work out of.

Oliver didn’t want to hear about any of it but he kept quiet and listened, moving his food around but not eating.

Laurel pulled out the wine, wanting to toast to Tommy. Oliver could barely stomach swallowing it down.

“I should get going.” Oliver said after Laurel finished her second glass.

Laurel leaned forward, setting her glass down. “Stay.”

Oliver moved to the edge of the couch. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Trust me, it’s a great idea.” she pushed him back against the cushions crawling into his lap, looping her arms around his neck. “All my ideas are brilliant.”

Oliver’s skin tightened uncomfortably as her mouth covered his. When she rolled her hips against his, he pulled away and stilled her movements with his hands on her hips.

“Laurel, I can’t.” he moved her off him, pushing off the couch. “I have to go.”

“Ollie, it’s okay.” Laurel protested as he pulled on his coat.

“No, it’s not.” Oliver headed to the door.

“Ollie, don’t go please.” Laurel followed, hoping to change his mind about leaving.

“I’m sorry.” Oliver shut the door behind him.

Laurel stared at her door in mild shock. Oliver had turned her down and left her without one backward glance.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver didn’t realize how suffocating the air in Laurel’s apartment felt until he stepped outside into the night air.

He was able to take in the clean air deeply. It wasn’t stifling like the air he breathed whenever he was near Laurel. He pulled his phone from his pocket, shifting on his feet as he waited for it to turn back on.

He had one miss call from Thea, checking in. A text from John, letting him know he got Felicity home safely. But nothing from Felicity herself.

He didn’t want to wait for a town car or bother John. He dialed Felicity. It rang a few times before going to voicemail. He hung up and slipped back into his pocket and started walking.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver knocked on Felicity’s door but when there was no answer, he tried the doorknob and found it was unlocked.

He frowned as he let himself inside. It wasn’t safe to leave her door unlocked, especially since she lived just on the edge of the Glades, and crime had increased since the Undertaking.

He was going to have to talk to her about that.

He stepped into her living room and paused. She was asleep curled up in the corner of her couch, glasses still perched on the bridge of her nose, her hair still pulled back in a low ponytail.

She didn’t look entirely comfortable. She even still had her shoes on.

She must have truly been exhausted. Probably more than even she realized.

Oliver carefully removed her shoes, followed by her glasses, placing them on the table in her reach.

Next, he carefully took down her low ponytail, then carefully picked her up in his arms.

She curled into him, burrowing deeper into his chest. “Tommy.”

Her voice was laden with sleep and filled with so much longing it made his chest hurt.

Swallowing hard, he carefully laid her further down on the couch, placing a throw pillow beneath her head and grabbed the throw blanket over the back of the couch, draping it over her and tucking her in.

He stood slowly and moved into her kitchen. He doubts Felicity ate anything today. She may be hurting right now, they all were, but it was important that she remembered to take care of herself.

Moving through her cabinet, fridge and freezer, he saw that she had nothing in there besides left over Chinese takeout, a box of cereal and a near empty container of milk.

Oliver pulled out his phone, sending out a list of instructions to the Queen Family’s spare driver.

When he was done with the call, he placed his phone on the counter and returned to the living room, shredding his jacket, draping it over the back of the chair across from the couch.

He sunk into the chair, his shoulders slumping. The soft cushions made his aches more noticeable. It was like he could feel every injury he sustained in the last 5 years.

He leaned forward, running a tired hand across his face.

Nothing about today seemed real. Tommy being buried 6 feet underground seemed impossible. Something out of a nightmare.

And while it was a nightmare, it was also real and he would have given it anything for it not to be.

Oliver’s eyes moved to Felicity, resting. She looked peaceful, but he knew better. She was a mess, barely holding it together, and he couldn’t blame her.

His phone started ringing from the kitchen counter.

He pushed off from the chair to retrieve it. Standing at the kitchen counter, he saw Laurel’s name and picture flashing across the screen. Opting not to answer, he sent it to his voicemail. After a few seconds of consideration, he went into his contacts and set all future calls from Laurel to be directed to his voicemail.

He felt a twinge of guilt at the action, but pushed it down. He couldn’t give her what she wanted. Pretending he could wouldn’t do either of them any good.

He knew he was going to have to end things with Laurel, make it clear where they stood, but not today.

Today, he just needed to be here with Felicity, keeping his promise to Tommy.

And ultimately, he needed to be here for himself. Felicity’s presence was like a cool balm on his flayed soul.

He needed that.

His phone buzz in his hand again. This time, with the text from his driver, he was waiting on.

The next hour he spent filling Felicity’s fridge and cupboards with groceries and preparing dinner for her.

He went with something simple and quick, hoping it would be ready by the time she woke up.

He was just putting the pan he prepared in the oven when he heard Felicity make a sound of discontent. He moved to the edge of the couch, her face was pinched in a look of pain.

He reached out and tentatively rubbed her back, shushing her quietly.

Relief washed over him as her face slowly relaxed, her breathing came more easily to her.

Oliver stood and gently settled into the other end of the couch, resting Felicity’s feet in his lap, his hand resting lightly over her calf.

Oliver’s eyes slid shut, and he told himself he was just going to rest them only for a moment, but before he knew the exhaustion finally took over consuming him.

#olicity #olicity fic #fanfic #oliver x felicity #oliver queen #felicity smoak #arrow #arrow fic

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thoughts-and-more-sadness · 2 years

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I am quite frankly so over his shit. Like sure everything is sweet and I have a roof over my head and food and he works hard for me. But I am so tired of asking him to take a morning off or take a day off. Let’s go be responsible and do our doctors appointments. Let’s go have fun and plan something. He doesn’t take the time off. When our plans or dates go bad he accuses me and blames me. Always throws it in my face that I don’t plan anything and we need to plan more ahead. Says next time I better be the one to make the plans because he is sick and tired of doing all the hard work planning. This is bullshit. I know for a fact it is. Because last time I planned something, usually something fun or with my family. He doesn’t ask for the day off, until it’s the morning of. I complain and I’m sad because ultimately he failed me, he let me down he didn’t ask for the time off for fulfill our plans that I talked about time and time again. I remind him over and over to ask for it off, to the point I guess I annoy him and he snaps at me to stop. I planned something for tomorrow. It won’t happen and I feel embarrassed thanks to him. He embarrasses me. Yesterday was my parents anniversary. I wanted to do something nice with them, but not a dinner. Go to the lavender festival, my mom loved the lavender I brought her last time. Then I thought about my grandma and her cancer surgery is less than a week away. So why not invite her too, a nice family gathering to celebrate my parents and to show love to grandma. Beautifully planned right. I communicated with them, they set a day, me and him communicate and agree okay sure that day. So I tell them I’ll get back to you guys and confirm it once he officially gets the day off and asks for it. He doesn’t. Weeks go by. And I mean weeks. He had two weeks to send a 30 second text. I scheduled a doctors appointment that morning. I am so scared. I genuinely am afraid of getting my blood drawn. I can’t stand it. I ask him to be there, to take me, to be a little late to work. Sure I get it you don’t give a fuck about my family or my feelings. But please just do this one thing ya know be there for me. I’m scared because I don’t have faith that he will. I know he is a immature boy that doesn’t know to step up and be there like he implies he will. I know it but ya see I’m dumb I still put faith over and over. The last time he told his boss he wasn’t going to work at the very last minute, and I mean the last minute he had hours that morning to text his boss. He waited until he should’ve been driving to work. He was that big of a pussy to send a text that he had weeks to send. I told him that shit is not going to happen again, I will not tolerate this dumb procrastination it embarrasses you and makes you look like a bad employee for no good reason. YOU HAD WEEKS. When I told him I want him to be there for doctors appointments for the possible baby. He told me I should man up now because I’m not gonna be able to handle it. That I mine as well go alone. He is the one that wanted a baby so goddamn bad he would throw away my birth control. He would make me feel bad every day when it was that time for my pill. He made it so hard on me. I know he is not gonna step up and be there for me, for a baby I know that. He can’t even handle me he is not going to be able to handle this. He is making me not so scared of an abortion like I used to be. The thing that pisses me off more is I wish I could just scoop up my family and go with them and take them in my car. Forget him he can miss out on the fun then. But I fucking can’t. Because I am fucking waiting around on him to get my car up and running and I cannot afford this. This is bad. He says they figured out what needs to be replaced, he says he has to go to work almost 2 hours early to order the part for my car. Funny thing is he doesn’t even report back to me later that day anything about my car. I don’t even know if the part was ordered. And to make me feel better they’re pretty sure that is probably what needs fixing. Ya know. Probably. Pretty sure.

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usedtobeyours · 2 years

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a tale of a masseuse - the true, inconspicuous version

i know i told my friends various versions of this day - but here is the unsolicited truth of it.

i've been needing porn to get to my orgasms. and i've been reaching to the old (cof cof) mediums - pornhub, xvideos, etc.

and there... i don't know. there's a LOT. and what seemed to get me off were tantric massages videos. and i watched those for like 6 months thinking - oooh, i have to give this a shot at SOME point.

i have been having quite a few sleepless nights. for over a year now, but for more than once i was like: i gotta look into one of those. i did a couple times.

but, one sleepless dawn, i was fired up thinking i might as well do it tomorrow. i googled a place close by in copacabana. found it. they responded pretty soon - by this time it was like 7 am.

i texted the space. she said: if you can come between 10 and 12 am, we'll give you a discount.

i was like R$300? but i might as well? and in a sleepless haze i made the appointment. some friends of mine have heard the story as if it was a gift - im sorry for the lie, it wasnt.

the lady sent me the address and 5 minutes before the time i was booked for, i was knocking on the door. nervous as fuck, hadn't slept for a minute, was wearing a bathing suit and shorts.

i get in and the guy who answers the door looks like he's 22. he says, welcome, you can get naked. i look around the room. there is a bathroom to my right, and in the biggest room i could see 3 comfy mats and pillows, dark walls, candles, dimmed lights, some mantra playing on the radio, and some scent burning.

the boy said: - you can leave your stuff in this couch and i will leave so you can undress. we can change the music if you'd like.

me, nervous as fuck - is it okay if i keep my bikini on?

he says - yes, but the nuru massage is also at the table if you would like.

i was confused as fuck but here's a short explanation: when you go for a tantric massage, there are types. the first one, yoni (the one i allegedly paid for) includes touching of the body and of the vulva. let's put it like that. the nuru includes penetration.

i was like huh, okay. and i said - i'll keep my bikini on for a while and we'll see how it goes.

he orders me to lie down.

i do, and i will try to make this more of a reporting and not to make it so graphic. but he started dousing me in a scented oil and massaging my necks, my arms, my back. i got so relaxed my bikini top came out. then he started down from my feet's arch, to my calfs and the inner side of my tights. it was good.

this is when the massage gets good. i remove my bottoms and he gives me the full yoni massage. i remember getting reaaaally touchy and fine and then he started rubbing his body against me. and let me remind you - it had been about a year since i had fucked.

so, i ended up fucking the masseuse and i cant even tell you how many levels of fucked up it felt. but it also felt good and consensual. he made me come three times, one before, one during, one after.

when we were done and my hour was up, he said, hold up, imma roll a joint. would you like some? and im not really a weed person anymore, but if there was a place for it, i think it would be the mantra place, after coming trice.

we smoke a joint and start talking about life. he tells me he's 25 and studying to become a doctor. talking goes on and he tells me there are 5 other rooms just in the building where they provide massages on. he also tells me about his kind of clients and that he wanted to fuck me ever since he laid eyes on me at the door.

i know, i fell for it.

he hands me a water, and i say, are you free after this?, he says yes and i say, let's go get a beer. and mind you, its noon in a cloudy day and i havent slept but at this point who cares.

but he goes, and we both walk out of this copacabana building and walk across the street to the beach - where it is cloudy, and windy, and rainy - and sit in a kiosk, and order a beer, and start talking further. i say - there is no way in hell you're 25 - as he had said, and he shows me his id, 1996. we talk about how his aunt ran the place we were just in, and how she - ew! - taught him how to be a masseuse (ew again).

papo vai, papo vem... chuva comeca a cair e a gente vem pra minha casa. a gente bola mais um, bebe mais uma cerveja, e quando eu dou por mim a gente ta transando de novo na minha cama. e olha, a segunda foi muito melhor que a primeira.

e ai a gente termina, toma uma agua, e ele diz que tem que ir fazer almoco, que vao achar estranho ele ter ficado fora desde as 10, etc. ligou o alerta redflag.

trocamos whats e ele me chama pra sair direto. as 11 da manha no meio da semana kkkkk. obvio que nao rolou por motivos de trabalho mas olha...

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makinglifebetter · 2 years

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This is going to be super long, so I'm putting it under the read more.

I have failed to make several updates to my TikTok and here are the reasons why.

I work for a gasoline distribution company. When I started working there it was owned by the family that founded it and several private investors.

Starting in 2017 or 2018, those investors began thinking of selling their majority shares. The sale went through in October of 2020. It was supposed to happen earlier in the year but the pandemic and some legal issues prevented it.

This new company uses different software to enter the sales data from our sites and began the process of switching us to this new software.

Back in May, we had to go to the office for one day for initial training. That day, one of my coworkers, B, had an issue with her laptop and IT gave her a new hard drive (I think, they might have given her a new laptop).

The next day I had my doctor's appointment (it had been rescheduled from April). While at the doctor, I got a text from A asking if I was having computer issues. Our manager was out for the day and I thought A was asking because I wasn't logged on yet. So, I replied that I was at the doctor's and apologized for not reminding her the night before.

She replied that she and B were having the same issue again, the computer kept trying to reboot, and were at the office.

When I got home, I turned on my computer, I hadn't set it up from being at the office the day before, and went to change (I had worn shorts and flip-flops to the doctor), just in case it does the same thing.

Which of course it did.

I had chosen to not make the update video in the doctor's office in case I needed to go in (I gained three pounds which while not as much as I had feared, was disappointing). I did take the time to stop for breakfast, though.

I ended up spending most of the rest of the day in the office waiting on IT to give me a new laptop and ended up forgetting to make that post. By the time I remembered, it had been several days and I chose not to.

Then there were issues nearly every other weekend that kept me from being able to clean (I hurt my thumb one weekend and had vertigo another, as well as plans with family).

I had originally planned to clean my bathroom today and my bedroom tomorrow. But I forgot that my birthday is Tuesday (I mean, I didn't forget, but I did forget) when my mother asked me last Sunday when I was at her house doing laundry what I wanted to do.

We have decided to go to lunch tomorrow and I am going to my daughter's boyfriend's parents Monday for the Fourth.

So, that is why my TikTok hasn't been updated recently.

I forgot to take before pictures but I did take after pictures.

I got started around mid-morning (I failed to note the exact time). I cleaned the counter, sink, and mirrors first. I took a short break after cleaning the counter and sink, then another after I cleaned the mirrors.

My back started spasming so I took a long break before cleaning the floor and toilet. I had to take several breaks while cleaning the floor and toilet and ended up falling asleep sometime after I ate lunch (I had originally planned to be finished before lunch). I finished cleaning the tub around 3, I remember this because I am trying intermittent fasting and do not eat past 4 so I had to eat dinner before I could finish putting the bathroom back together.

I changed the no-slip mat and the shower curtain. I had to lower the shower curtain because this one doesn't have weights/magnets along the bottom to keep it from getting sucked into the tub.

#cleaning #ufyh #unfuck your habitat #update

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p-antomime · 2 years

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Not l♡vers.

𖦹 minors don’t interact. ┊ wc: 3,8K.

𖦹 content: service dom!mitsuya, unprotected sex, dub-con, pinning, oral sex (f! receiving), impregnation, (forced) breeding, overstimulation, restriction, slight dumbification, implied age gap.

𖦹 pairings: sugar daddy/husband!takashi mitsuya x fem!reader.

ᥫ᭡. tokyo rev. masterlist! ┊ taglist.

a/n: i'm making this note here just to clarify that the request was made by DM and, therefore, it'd not be possible for me to put it linked here! that said, enjoy your reading <3

— Can you... — Your head didn't seem to assimilate the information received very well, maybe your brain needed to be screwed again. — Repeat?

— You are going to marry him. — Your father repeated it again as if the information was irrelevant, as if it was just an ordinary, simplistic thing like "We're going on a trip" or "Tomorrow you have a routine doctor's appointment" and you blinked to finish trying to organize the thoughts; this time it seemed more real than the first.

— I? What? Marriage? — You frowned, attention going from your father to the only man present in the large, spacious room of your family's home.

You had barely gotten home from college that day, just as you had barely had time to text your classmates weeks later that you would no longer be able to attend college for "personal reasons”.

— Is this... a fucking joke? — You didn't used to curse at home, in fact, quite the opposite: you were the perfect little doll ready to be the prototype of the best daughter and best student, a girl not made of gold, but maybe of strawberry and cream because gold doesn't usually break the way you broke when you saw the serious but resentful look on your father's face.

— Honey, you–

You interrupted him with closed fists and angrily denied with the head.

— Don't 'honey' me, Dad! I don't even know this guy! I don't even fucking know him! I go out for half a day and when I get home, the first thing someone tells me is that I'm marrying a guy I don't even know! You don't–

It was his turn to interrupt you, while Mitsuya Takashi continued to look serene and brought a cup of tea to his lips without caring much about your reaction since it was already expected.

— Don't raise your voice to me! May I remind you who runs this house? To whom do you owe respect?! — You shrugged shoulders as you realized that his voice overpowered yours without even making much effort. — Stop acting like a spoiled child, Y/N! Everything, absolutely everything, that I am and have been doing is for your own good and you are only looking out for number one!

— Look out for number one?! Wha –

— Listen, Y/N– — It was the first time that Mitsuya had addressed you verbally outside of your father's company meetings and you couldn't be more outraged by this action of his.

— No! You listen here! D’you think you can just try to convince my father that I'm gonna marry a disgusting guy like you? Put yourself in your place!

And you only didn't advance on his neck at that moment because you knew that due to the age difference, even if Mitsuya didn't have such a muscular body, he would still be able to control you without any problems and also that your father grabbed your wrist and dragged you out of the room to tell you off in na action that couldn't escape your thoughts even during the time of the forced marriage in which you could barely force a smile and probably ruined all, or almost all, of the photos.

Ironically, Takashi didn't try to force you to act like you were happy and, as much as possible, left you quiet, in your little corner at the wide table with various untouched foods.

At the same time, you felt strangely pleased to have so many people fawning over you and saying how great you looked in that wedding dress custom-made by Mitsuya, but soon after, your mind would reminisce about all your father's haste in marrying you off to an older guy and your lack of personal freedom in the decision and it would all fall apart and make you depressed again.

The only thing that eased your lack of motivation or joy a little was feeling the soft mattress of Takashi's bed hugging your back as soon as the two of you arrived in his spacious apartment that was the equivalent of almost three of your previous home. And everything would have been perfect.

If you were alone and that apartment was all yours.

And if Mitsuya hadn't opened his mouth and knelt down in front of you to take off your high heels that were starting to make your hamstrings hurt.

— Are you too tired today? I was thinking–

— So don't think. — It was a short answer from you, and deep down you didn't feel bad at all. — And preferably don't say anything for the rest of the evening either, the only thing I want is... well, you. — Even as you said this, you didn't move your feet from his hand as he finished removing those heels.

— We're married now, honey. — Your shoulders shrugged at the nickname and something stirred inside you that you preferred to think was just disgust. — And, like it or not, I'm going to have to talk to you not only tonight, but for the rest of my days too, not that it's a problem for me.

Mitsuya leaned over to let his lips rest against your knee in a tender action and, almost instinctively, you pressed the sole of your foot against his pectoral to stop him before he finished doing so.

— We’re married, but we are not lovers. Stop acting like you love me, y’know better than anyone that I hate this marriage and... — You were about to say that you hated him too, but thought it best not to.

You hated the situation, not Takashi Mitsuya himself. And that was the truth.

— We've been married less than a day, dear, you can learn to love me. — Mitsuya replied, trying to put his hands on your arms to massage them to make you less stressed, and you automatically slapped them away.

Takashi's patience halved at that moment, you could see by the way his jaw locked and his countenance stiffened into a more serious expression.

— No, I can't, damn it! I'm going to hate this marriage forever, every time I–

Before you could finish speaking, his hand clamped down hard on your chin and forced you to look him straight in the eye.

— Stop acting like a fucking child with me, your father didn't teach you manners and I have to teach you that? From what he told me about you, you've always been a great girl with other people, what's the difference between me and the guys you've spread your legs for before, huh? — You clamped a hand on his wrist trying to keep his away from your chin. — At least I'm your husband.

— My husband? Hmph! — Your eyes rolled up in irritation, who did that guy think he was to talk to you like that? — Put yourself in your place, you literally forced me to marry you, I hate–

Your voice was cut off by a sudden gasp as Takashi forced your torso back against the bed to pin you against the mattress. There was no force as such in his hand, but, rather, just the exact measure of pressure to make you lose your breath a little and really scare you.

— Wha-What do you think you're doing?!

— I'm taking what is rightfully mine after that boring wedding, obviously. — Mitsuya looked at you as if it were obvious with one hand going to unbutton his pants and one of his knees going between your legs as soon as you tried to close them.

— Rightfully yours? — A mocking laugh escaped your lips before you tried to put hands on his shoulders to push him away. — Bold of you to assume that–

He took full advantage of your mouth opening to let the words out and placed his lips over yours with one palm still holding your chin forcefully. And you would have bitten his mouth hard enough to make it bleed a little if Mitsuya was indeed not so good at what he did.

His mouth was slow. There was no reason for him to rush if control of the situation was being handled by his experienced and agile hands, and so the kiss that began followed was so slow in the first few seconds that it made you want to beg for the pace to quicken and almost at the same time your mind whispered that you shouldn't be enjoying it that much.

Deep down, he was still Takashi Mitsuya, the man who had forcefully married you and was now wanting to claim you as his completely.

And yet, when his hands slid down your body to curl fingers around the edge of the post-wedding party dress bought for you with his money, it still took you long seconds to actually realize that your conscience was not going to be able to give just what your body was craving.

Your fingers tangled in his hair styled into a pretty mullet and tried to pull his face away from yours, to which he silently responded by letting lips fall over your neck to distribute wet nibbles and kisses across your skin.

It was an immediate response, right, though incorrect, to have a shiver run down your back to reach the middle of your legs and make your pussy wet in a way that was almost embarrassing for someone who swore mentally that wouldn't like anything coming from Mitsuya. And so your hands immediately tried to start pushing him away at the same time that his were pulling that dress off your beautiful body.

— Fuck, you're making it all so fucking difficult, ‘m I going to have to tie your hands for you to lemme love you right? — You grunted in annoyance and, almost a crumb of a second later, cringed against the bed mattress as you listened to Takashi finish unbuckling his own belt and bring it around to your wrists before he began to tie them over your head even as you tried to escape that grasp. — This, much better, you are better off being forced to obey, have you ever been told that? — But when you opened your mouth to give a harsh answer, two of his fingers invaded it to be dipped in your saliva. — It was a rhetorical question, I think even a young girl like you knows what this means, don't you?

Just then his body slid down, his lips brushing above your covered skin and mouth inevitably reached the middle of your legs; the panties still covering your most intimate parts, and in response to Mitsuya's advances, you tried to close your legs, to which he held them open with fingers digging into the skin of your thighs before wrapping them around those panties to pull them down.

— You didn't think that trying to close your legs would push me away, did you? — A small smile that might have been mockery mixed with tenderness appeared on his lips and you swallowed dryly; your action seemed roundly dumb as it was uttered aloud by his low, husky voice, you felt like a young girl suffering before his experience. — I can't decide if it was a cute or dumb attempt, can you give me an opinion on it?

His thumb rubbed your clit and you squirmed, mentally hating yourself for feeling more of your slickness leaking from your entrance, but at the same time biting your lips to keep from moaning.

— Don't wanna use your pretty voice? — His eyebrows lifted and his smile widened. — Okay, atta girl, I can fuck it out of you, no problem.

That was the last thing he said before letting a long lick slowly work its way from your entrance to the clit and then, shortly thereafter, began kissing and sucking all over the area of your sweet pussy at a pace that oscillated between fast enough to make you roll eyes up and slow enough to make you almost surrender and beg him to go faster and make you cum.

Your wrists tried a few times to loosen their grip by pinning them together, but as you felt the pain and burning of the leather rubbing against your skin while the pleasure overwhelmed your body as Mitsuya made a mess between your thighs and occasionally moaned against your entrance every time your legs unwittingly closed around his face, you just for the first time allowed yourself to enjoy at least some of his licking and kissing and sucking.

His eyes lifted a little just to scan your face and as he saw you with yours half-closed and mouth ajar to try to draw in more air, he knew that he had pushed you into the one position you should never leave: his wife, beneath him, accepting perhaps everything that came from him. That's your place, Mitsuya would implant it in your head if he had to.

As soon as Takashi could hear you whispering and panting several "Please" and trying to force hips against his face as your clit throbbed against his soft, wet tongue, he knew you were about to cum. And it would be a complete shame if he let you do that because of anything other than his dick.

He pulled away slightly to remove his own clothes and you grunted in frustration trying to press thighs together to get at least some kind of friction to relieve that simmering tension.

— For someone who didn't want this, you sound a little too desperate, sweetheart. — His voice was now low enough for only the two of you to hear, as if he were taunting you in the form of a confession, and you whimpered with the head falling back against the headboard.

— I h-hate you, this wedding, this place, every single fucking thing. — And, even saying this, your thighs were still pressed against each other.

— Yeah? 'Every single fucking thing', you say? — His tongue slipped past lips as soon as he finished undressing and you looked away from his cock because, maybe, if you looked at it, your pussy would leak a lot more. — Let's check if you're gonna hate me yet when I fuck a baby into you and make you a pretty mommy for my children.

Your eyes widened, pussy clenched around nothing, not because he was talking about getting you pregnant, but because of the possibility of draining every last drop of cum out of him.

— What you–

— You heard me, sweetheart, you're not that dumb. — Takashi interrupted you by putting hands on your waist and pulling you to fit your ass against his crotch, his dick staying between your thighs and your hands immediately going to grab his arms desperately.

The moment when his tip rubbed against your clit was the same time when you began desperately begging him not to do this, not to impregnate you. And seconds later, Mitsuya was ignoring your pleas and giving your lips a loving kiss before placing a finger over them to shut you up and sliding slowly into you.

Your walls hugging every inch of him without a second thought and eyes rolling up at your body simply giving up on holding back your orgasm and making you cum literally on the first thrust of your newly acquired husband.

And all your worries did indeed seem to be swept away as soon as he began to move back and forth, in and out of your pussy and make a forced love to you that slowly pulled you into an overstimulation.

Moans in the shape of his name escaping your mouth and your body rising and falling in accordance with his movements, his lips leaving kisses all over your neck and face, especially over your mouth, as a way to make you forget about the overstimulation that was beginning to rattle your mind and make your consciousness waver a bit.

You were used to masturbating until you were tired and going to take a shower to wipe the sweat off, not to be fucked into oblivion and have every last drop of strength and pleasure drained from you.

Mitsuya's dick twitched against your gummy walls and yet you could still notice how erratic and sloopy the movements of his hips slamming into yours suddenly became.

About to cum, that's Takashi Mitsuya at that moment. And you even tried to close legs, to squirm as hard as possible with hands tied; all he had to do was dig his fingers into your hips, press you harder into the mattress and come deep with the hot jets pressing against your walls and pulling another intense orgasm from inside your pussy that had you rolling eyes and moaning his name out loud for the first time.

You had the impression of hearing him praise and worship you for taking him so well, for being so good at draining every last drop of his cum inside your pretty little pussy, but the fact that he kept rolling hips against yours, as if he was threatening to keep fucking you even after two orgasms in a row, clouded your mind so much that your consciousness wavered more and more.

Mitsuya gave a few more thrusts, very entertained feeling your walls squeezing and engulfing his shaft and cum so well, and you eventually gave in to your mind not wanting to leave you awake.

And your body ended up using long hours to recover not only from the post-wedding fucking of, but also from all the irritation coming from the wedding and, besides, you woke up before Takashi who had hands wrapped around your waist and chest pressed against your back, and you immediately pulled out of him without caring whether you would wake him up or not.

Practically the only thing he said to you when you woke up a few minutes later was a sleepy, nonchalant "Good morning" to which you didn't reply before going to take a shower to start thinking about what you were going to do all day, since your husband was going to be – thankfully – too busy with his own work.

In reality, Mitsuya was always too busy. But, not enough for you, this became obvious in the following weeks in which he showered you with gifts.

Did you want a dress that was too expensive? Fine, he'll buy it for you. Or maybe a shiny new ring from Bvlgari or a custom-made piece of jewelry from Tiffany & Co.? Mitsuya could give you that; and it wasn't even trying to win you for material goods, but to let you know that he could give you exactly anything you wanted without you having to ask or give him anything in return.

But, you had something to give him in return. He just didn't know it yet, just you, the bathroom in the bedroom and the later pregnancy test you bought shortly after starting feeling sick in a way too commonplace to be an illness.

The clock was almost striking 8 PM, Mitsuya, while you were staring at that test all too perplexed with a whirlwind of emotions eating you up inside, was already in the elevator of the building asking the clerk to click on the floor where his home was located.

You didn't even listen when he shouted from the front door: "Sweetheart?! I'm home! Where are you?" and walked around the apartment looking for you first in the living room and then going into the bedroom where you were still holding the pregnancy test that you tried to hide as soon as Takashi came through the door:

— What's wrong? You're quiet today, usually you are–

— Nothing. — You interrupted him by swallowing dryly and pressing the test against your back and he frowned before sliding eyes down your arms and raising a hand gesturing with his index and middle finger.

— Gimme.

— It's my phone, smartphone, Takashi. — You watched him approach and stop in front of you.

— You're looking like you killed someone, what happened, sweetheart?

He wouldn't pressure you to talk, but you couldn't run away from the information for long, so you just raised hands in an irritated manner and looked away, letting him see the positive pregnancy test.

Because your face was turned away, you didn't even see Mitsuya open a wide, tender smile before he knelt down in front of you and took one of your hands before speaking:

— Oh, my darling, my pretty, sweet girl. — His lips brushed against the back of your hand in a kiss that made you look at him in shock; you expected another reaction. — I'm sorry for everything I needed to do, but thank you for carrying my, our child. — And another kiss was left against your hand, your heart melted slowly like snow on a sunny day. — I promise I’ll be there to help in any way I can.

And it was the first time he leaned in to give you a kiss and you didn't allow yourself to try to dodge or pull away, it was the first moment in your life that you realized his lips were as soft as the silks of the expensive dresses he bought you.

In the days, weeks and eventually months that followed, the two of you built a great relationship that managed to sweep away any remnants of your former persona that hated to hear even the sound of Mitsuya's breathing. He proved to be an exceptional husband and a great massager, as it became not uncommon for him to massage your legs or tits when you had cramps or your bust hurt as the pregnancy went on.

Also not uncommon were the nights when you were lying with the back against his chest and his hands were busy caressing your swollen belly while he was whispering how beautiful you looked carrying his child and that maybe he should put one more in you, to which you would whimper and let your head fall back to rest it on his shoulder.

— Hope you're kidding me. — You whispered, and he let out a little chuckle before shaking his head in denial.

— Hm? It's hard to control myself from fucking you when you look so pretty and hot with a swollen belly because of my child, I thought that was obvious. — His lips fell back on your shoulder in a tender kiss, and then, as he lifted his eyes to see a wedding day photo of you on the small table beside the bed, Takashi remembered that he never told you the reason for your father's haste in getting you married and out of his house. — Also, honey, weird question, even though I know you don't want to stress yourself today: did you ever stop to think why your father wanted to marry you to me? — You turned away to look over one shoulder.

— Because you... have money? Like, I thought it was all business, y’know? I'd marry you and he might get something out of being your partner. — Takashi felt offended to hear you say this, but he nodded.

— In reality...

And then, the next few seconds were spent with him explaining to you detail by detail, comma by comma about how your life was previously at risk because "someone in the business world" was behind your father and a marriage was a great excuse to get you off the radar of those who were after him without raising so many suspicions.

But, Mitsuya never told you what kind of business it was.

ㅤ🏷 tagging: @festive @wakaslut @strawberrysanzu @bontensucker @wakasa-wifey @manjiroscum @inu1gf @keisaint @ravenina14 @saaraunicorn @ranilingus @dokidokimanji @mizurimirai @sleepy3 @kuroaka @slut4manjiro @zuuki @qudvxnkanx @manjirosdoll @hirwishin @izanaswifey @ushitoshiii @bontens-cum-slut @amaejiki @k-ryuuguji @vlyntage @savagemickey03 @fuyuus @hellventures @binglebonglerightonthemoney @horny-inarizaki-stan @mrsvaleska @goldenmnr @semisgroupie @no-name-jack .

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