#i just wanna explain my own perspective thats all
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second, never first
part nine | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight
chris x fem!reader
summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.
warnings - swearing, kissing, use of y/n, BOYS (no smut… for now lol)
word count - 1800+
NOT PROOFREAD
a/n: @matthewsturnioloswifey i have been trying to tag you in my posts but its not finding your account so sorry!!!
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chris and i spent the night figuring out way to make annas blood boil, although in the back of my mind i knew it was wrong. i wont make any excuses as to say im in the right for doing this, but you have to see it from both perspectives.
anna only ever saw our friendship as a challenge. she always needed to be on top.
was i envious of her way with boys? one hundred percent.
did i see her as competition? never.
she was my best friend up until she told me to let the door hit me on the way out.
chris and i arrived at school as normal. we got a few stares from people as we were walking in together and we knew immediately anna told everyone. anna had a weird power over the school and could instantly start a rumor about anyone and get the word out, fast.
it came as no surprise me nor chris that we were getting dirty looks, whispered about and giggles as we walked by. this was all apart of our plan. prove anna right.
weird system i know but it made sense to chris. the plan was the ultimately just piss anna off enough to stop harassing us and give up. so we had to play the perfect couple act. for now were just walking in to school and ignoring the stares and moving on with life as a “happy couple”.
“ill see you at lunch.” chris says to me when we get my my bio class. he gives me a peck on the cheek and walks away.
see. simple.
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lunch rolls around and we meet up at my car. “y/n your one hell of an actress, every guy on my team is asking when and how did i get you to date me.” he proudly says. “i guess im the best fake girlfriend ever.” i breathe looking straight out of the window of my car with both hands on the wheel. for chris this was all an act, for me i was living out my dream. although none of it was real. i knew this game we were playing was going to end up with my feelings for him stronger than ever.
“are you ok?” he snaps me out of my own head. “yeah sorry, what do you wanna get for lunch?”
-
after school my phone was flooded with texts of all of my now ex friends calling me a snake, a home wrecker and even going as far to call me a whore. while all of these allegations were true on the outside they could not be farther from the truth.
chris invited me over after school to continue helping him with history since he did well after i helped him the first time. i never anticipated the questions from his brothers.
“you guys arent dating for real are you?”
“how did this even happen?”
“chris how could you cheat on anna?”
“ok you two can calm down, we will explain.” chris says to matt and nick.
“were not actually dating, anna accused us of hooking up behind her back when we had that movie night this weekend. after that y/n went to her house and she was a complete bitch to her so were pretending to be in a relationship to piss her off even more.” chris explains.
“you guys do know how anna works right?” nick asks. “nick i was her best friend for 6 years, so yes i know she will try to destroy me.” i state. “well as long as you both know what your in for im good with it.” nick says clapping. “anna needs to be taken down a notch, i saw how she constantly treated you. all of the guys on our team always asked why you were never available but i now realize anna was constantly lying to them.” matt says.
“what do you mean not available?” i say. “guys would always ask anna if you were available and she would constantly say no. thats why no guys have ever approached you.” chris explains. “chris you knew about this the whole time and never told me.” i ask
“no one ever talked to me about it because we became so close this year. matt told me today.” he defends.
“im so sorry y/n if i knew she was lying to all the guys i would have said something earlier. i completely support whatever you have planned for anna.” he says.
“well thank you for telling me.”
me and chris walk upstairs to get started on the history tutor session. i get out my books and the flashcards i made for him. “these are for you. they cover all of the terms we learned this unit.” i breathe handing them to him. “thanks.” he says giving me a warm smile.
we work on reading the definitions for the flash cards and then i started quizzing him. chris was a fast learner he just never applied himself before.
“civil rights” i ask holding the flash card in front of him. “a right or rule that has to be followed?” he answers unsure of himself. “were getting there.” i smile. “can we please take a break y/n i actually might light all of my leg hair on fire if i have to do this for any longer.” he requests.
“sure, you did a lot better during the second round of cards.” i say trying to encourage him.
“your the only person who makes me feel like i can be smarter, you know that.” he says studying my face.
i just stay still as he keeps starring at me.
“what are looking at.” i say gently pushing his head to the side and we both chuckle. i get up putting away all of the study material and hop back on his bed grabbing my phone from his side table.
chris doesnt move from his position and is just sitting on the edge of his bed very creepily. “what are you thinking about?”
“you have never kissed anyone.” he blurts
“yeah. thats what your thinking about?”
“how are we supposed to convince anyone were dating if your a bad kisser?”
“what.” he is confusing me at this point. “i have to teach you how to kiss y/n.” he turns around to face me. “chris-“ he cuts me off “anna wont believe were dating if we dont kiss in front of her or anyone at school.” he explains.
“ok then teach me.” i confidently sit up.
“well for one you cant sit with your shoulders so tight. you need to relax.” he puts his hands on my shoulders. i drop them and take a deep breath.
there was literally no way i was about to have my first kiss at 17 years old with chris sturniolo. the guy i have been dreaming about for months now. i never anticipated being this scared for someones face to come so close with mine yet here i am, scared as shit of what is about to happen.
“ok just relax your arms around my neck.” he instructs. i follow his lead as he places his hands on my waist and positions himself.
inch by inch he moves closer to my face, i just close my eyes and focus on my breathing. “y/n you need to relax im not going to do anything your not comfortable with. i promise.” he pauses.
“im sorry, im extremely nervous ive never dont this before.” i mumble. i take another deep breath and my mind starts racing.
my thoughts are put to a pause as his lips fall on mine. i immediately tense up, “relax” he says pulling away for a second and goes back in. just a quick peck, this wasnt too hard.
he pulls away and our bodies separate, “are you ok with more?” he asks. i nod in response grinning ear to ear. he smiles and leans back in. he pushes his lips to mine and i move back, “whats wrong?”
“nothing i just dont know what to do with my hands.” i chuckle. “just keep them behind my head for now, you will get more comfortable with them the more we do it.” he says leaning in for more. we continue kissing and i lift my arms up behind him and gently grab either side of his neck. he grabs my waist with one hand and moves the other to my cheek. i tilt my head slightly into his palm and move my hands to his hair. he breathes into the kiss deepening it and then pulls back.
“your good at this.” i blurt out, almost in a haze aa i fein for his lips back on me.
“thank you.” he chuckles and lets go of me “im going to kiss you again but im going to add tongue. dont get intimidated, just follow my lead.” he explains and i nod. he connects our lips again this time the kiss is deeper.
we continue at a steady pace and he places a hand on the back of my head and i do the same. he smiles at my innocence and breathes heavier.
he slips his tongue in my mouth and i gasp at the new feeling and kissed him harder. i move one of my hands on to his chest and use the other to pull us closer. kissing felt like i was cloud nine. i loved it.
he pulls away and i sign at the loss of his touch. he just stares at me while breathing heavy. “am i bad at this?” i ask wondering if thats why he pulled away.
“no kid your great for it being your first time.” he says smiling. “do you think you got the hang on this?” he says. i just shrug my shoulders, he hums in response. “one more cant hurt.” i say eagerly leaning into him. he catches the memo and places one of his hands on my lower back and i hum into the kiss. i move my body slightly closer to his and put my hand on his chest. he slips his tongue in once more and i feel him swipe his tongue along my bottom lip. hungry for more i move my hand under his shirt and move the other on the side of his face and he smiles in to the kiss once more.
ring ring ring
my phone goes off and we pull apart, chris grabs it and shows me that its my mom calling.
any other time she could have called me and she picks right now?
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thanks for reading xx
taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @accio326 @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry @stunza @realuvrrr @jennss23 @tubl-mc
a/n: who enjoyed that oneee????
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo edit#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x y/n#christopher owen sturniolo#chris sturniolo x you#matthew bernard sturniolo#matty b sturniolo#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo
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I know this is something u were probably asked before but as the guy that has a good relationship with art....how do you do that??? I mean I get that this question is vague but how do you not care if it looks bad? Do you just?? Keep on going till it looks like you want it to look? Despite the agonies? You seem like you enjoy talking abt this thats why im asking, dont feel the need to answer if u dont wanna
hmmmm. You know, I don't think about the agonies much these days. But it's not that I don't care. I guess I've become a freak who sees beauty in the agonies, sorta? It's kind of complicated! I will do my best to explain!
First of all, I know that I have the unfair advantage of having no ambition. I don't have a goal for my art besides making art when I feel like it. That makes it easy to be less judgemental-- I remember having a rockier relationship to my own art during the time when I thought I would make it my career.
This is why I like talking about my perspective, though!! I think it's important to try not to let yourself be consumed by self-criticism as an artist, even if self-criticism is necessary for you, and hopefully my carefree way of looking at things can help balance things out haha.
Anyways, ambition or not-- and I know how this sounds but bear with me-- art doesn't ever look bad.
(Barring ethically harmful art, ugh, I don't want to get into ethics so just-- surely you know what I mean!!!)
Art gets a lot less stressful if you can tell yourself that no art is bad, and remember the reasoning behind that until you really believe it. It isn't a fast process, but it's very worth the work.
The truth is that art either looks how you want it to look, or it looks different from the way you want it to look, but both are ultimately neutral. You CAN make art that looks different from what you wanted, that you still feel pleased with.
When art looks different from how you wanted, the gut reaction you have is often to call it bad or get frustrated. And of course it's frustrating! Maybe you feel it's not as effective at communicating something as you'd hoped, or you feel it's not as visually impactful as you imagined...but it's important to remember those things are only your perception. Not an objective fact. And art is a two-way street! A communication between creator and observer! And communication is really weird and complicated.
•••
Other people's perception of your work won't ever be exactly the same as yours. Sometimes this is desireable and sometimes it isn't! Maybe your art will communicate the thing better to someone than anything they've ever seen-- even if a more effective version could theoretically exist, the "imperfect" version that actually exists and communicates is all that matters to the observer. Or, maybe a feature that turned out exactly how you wanted it to will fly completely over an observer's head, and not have the effect you wanted at all. A lot of the time, you'll never even know.
An artist can NEVER fully control an observer's perspective, so at a certain point you have to live with what you have. You already do this, to some degree, if you have ever EVER decided to stop working on a piece of art and share it. You can always keep adding to something. You can always keep editing. But sometimes, you stop. And perfection doesn't exist, so when you stop it must be because the art is good enough for now. And nothing about "good enough" is objective!
And is that really so bad? Surely people who grow fruit understand that a fruit which is smaller than they imagined can still feed somebody-- that at the very least it will feed bugs and microorganisms and be useful as fertilizer to grow more apples. Your art still means something, still accomplishes something, is still worth making whether it turns out how you imagined or not.
A lot of art is learning when to quit and move on. As a habitual perfectionist, this was something I had to learn early, to stop myself from erasing holes into every piece of paper I drew on.
There's this rule I was taught in middle school drama class: if you fuck up, act like you didn't fuck up. The audience doesn't have your script memorized, so odds are they won't have any idea you fucked up unless you tell them. Other art works the same way. No one knows what you wanted to make but you. And more importantly, a "perfect" version of your art doesn't exist (no "perfect" version of anyone's art exists, or ever will).
The version you made exists, so you have to find what's worth loving about that version. You have found what's worth loving in the imperfect art of others many times. Many observers will treat your art the same way you treat others' art. Why not treat your own art that way, too?
It sounds really REALLY corny, but I try not to think of this as embracing "mistakes." I think of it as celebrating coincidences.
I really really like coincidences. I like that every circumstance wasn't guaranteed to happen, that everything comes down to chance. I think all the little random things are beautiful because they turned out however they did, and not any of the millions of other ways things might have turned out. It's a coincidence that my genes expressed the way they did. It's a coincidence that my parents met in college. It's a coincidence that my oldest friend and I both got to middle school early every day, and stayed close even when we didn't share any classes.
Art is full of coincidences! I try to draw a straight line. The line does not turn out straight, because of the way my hand is shaped and the way my muscles contracted, because my body is not exactly like anyone else's in the world. No one else would have drawn that slightly not-straight line just exactly how I did. It's mine, and it's crookedness is what makes my art mine. Okay, maybe it's a little too crooked for what I want this time-- I'll erase it and draw a new crooked line at a bit of a different angle. There we go, I like that! Now it's my beautiful, irreplaceable crooked line! And the ghost of its predecessor guides the eye just so, and no one else's two crooked lines would guide your eye the same way, only mine! Isn't that nice on its own? Just to have made something that can't ever be replicated? To have made something no one else has ever made before?
You can also apply this in a bit less dreamy and more practical ways, I promise haha.
For example...I've never been a canvas flipper, as a digital character artist. I don't mirror my canvases to see if they still look preportional to me from either direction. I also don't usually draw visual novel character sprites that need to look good mirrored in either direction to serve their function, so it's never been a practical concern of mine.
I consider many kinds of distortion on a character I've drawn to be a good part of the visual flow of the image. Like a smear frame in animation, distoriton in the right places can make character art look dynamic and energized because it can lead the eye through a certain visual flow over the form of the character. If I were to flip the canvas, that eye-leading effect might hit differently because my American eye is used to reading from left to right-- perhaps it doesn't feel as "smooth" going in the opposite direction. This doesn't mean I need to change the distortion necessarily, it just means I prefer not to flip the canvas.
Often, these distortions aren't intentional. They're a coincidence of how my muscles move as I draw, and the areas my left-to-right American eyeballs instinctively pay more attention to. But the effect is still desireable to me. So, happy coincidence!
I think...that's the best I've got for now? Feel free to ask for clarification. I hope it's not total nonsense!
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> NUMEROLOGY THEORY < get mad
This is easily my most controversial post.
but if you want to watch me spit in numerology face,
then please read away
Alright i love my numerology. But i think its complete bullshit.
Ive read so many sites and intepretations but they just say the same shit everytime, but when they explain themselves im like wtf that barely makes sense - for example life path 3 is jupiter, and it means; creativity, communication, inspiration. And i guess it makes enough sense to not question it. but i question everything, and i think we can do better than that >And thats where i come innnnn >>>
1 sun : MERCURY - Mercury is the first planet of our solar system, the sun aint a planet it just bright - all life path 1's dont act sunny at all, they act smart and calculated and they are 'independent' but the concept of the sun is not independent - the sun loves to share - mercury is independent, because to have an opinion requires an independent thought from others perspectives. - 'goal orientated' - so we all just don't care about our goals? bull shit fuck that, sounds like a mercury thing to only care about ur own opinion anyway - the sun likes to share and be the 'star' 1 energy don't it focused (like mercury)
2 moon : VENUS - the moon is not about the other (2 people) moon is technically a selfish energy, its about how you feel (yes people make you feel s type of way, but if you lonely, you gonna feel like shit anyway) venus is more appropriate planet for 2, becasuse 2 people requires diplomacy snd sharing, not the moon, the moon acts as a reflection, but it is not diplomatic, its selfish (but adorable) it takes 2 people to love and thats what venus all about, thasts why 2 should be venus (not 6 i'll get into dat) but this one should be pretty straightforward
3 Jupiter : EARTH - Jupiter is abundance and it could be 3 but theres a better answer for jupiter (coming up) 3 is earth because 3 is the holy trinity, god clearly loves earth the most, so its 3 okay, and everyone likes 3 (apparently) 3 is creative - there is no planet more colourful than earth - 3 is communicstion (everything on earth makes a lot of noise) and its inspiring - everywhere you look theres something inspirational on earth - you cant say that about any other planet - the rest of them just got a surface i guess
4 Uranus : Mars - whoever made up 4 as uranus imma slap the shit outta. 4 is a stable number (4 corners to mske s house) 4 is stability -4 is the emperor in tarot - uranus is nothing like that uranus is a crazy as fuck boiiiiiii. mars is far more appropriate, mars wants something it gets it (like emperor, in tarot) also a square is a 4, and thst mskes sense for mars because he all about conflict and competition. also they practical and sensible, and if your as bold as mars, your dsmn right you better be pracitcal or your gonna look like a fool and mars dont want thst.
5 Mercury : Jupiter - i understand 5 is about adventure and exploring, but its so much more fitting for it to be jupiter than fkn mercury. you see how dumb this shit is now??? look at the bigger picturre yall; numerologists didnt study the planets and it shows. 'change and progress' thats jupiters schtick, well hell its a little uranusy but mercury is a stretch. also everyone likes jupiter snd thsts why he 5 - he in the middle because everyone like him
6 Venus : Saturn - now ik your thinking saturn is karma and karma is infinite so it should be 8. well no your wrong, karma is not infinite. its however much you do you get back > think about how you draw the number 6 - you write a line (you do something) and it comes right back at ya (the cirlce bit). its also the lovers because saturn got a ring and everyone wanna find their special person to put a ring on > also saturn loves you, but he loves smacking you too. just like someone who loves you
7 Neptune : Uranus - ok this one does make some sense... because its about solitude and introspection... but anyway it took god 7 days to make the world - and the creation of the world changed the game you could say (like uranus is about change) - it also makes sense for uranus, because to change the world, you gotta observe it not be apart of it (to understand how it works) but you know what neptune does make sense here, so i get where they coming from
8 saturn : Neptune - wanna know what actually infinite? your spirit, spirituality, GOD IS INFINiTE - not yo karma - jesus fkn christ lawd save us and please forgive me for saying yo name in vain as many times as i do but WAT DA FUCK HAPPENED - Ik its associated with being a boss or a leader but to me its about achieving yo dreams, the real boss is someone like 6 or 4 (saturn - mars) and ik you thkink 6 is about love - but yall got no clue how much strength and fortitude it takes to love and it shows, thsts why saturn slaps you in the face as often as he be do > A leader must be in tune with god or they gonna get cancelled and not be givin leadership (dont forget who in charge you little shit)
9 Mars : Pluto - "embarking on a lifelong quest to quench an insatiable thirst for growth and new experiences" um okay - so how tf is that mars? mars is thirsty, but he dont care about growth he just wants some pussy. BUt pluto... now that makes more sense. Pluto wants the truth no mstter the price, and our life path 9's are on a infinite journey of digging and digging and thats what pluto do. pluto will literally put himself in jail just to see whst it feels like, mars will just fight everything, to attain his goals. pluto willl let you punch him to see how hard you punch.
Stay dumb - yes i made this up - just as the old numerologists made it up -
you dont have to believe me, thats why i dont believe in you.
I also believe if god is real, why wouldn't it be simple? why not correlate each number (and there only 9 numbers - excluding 0) why would it not be in the order god intended it to be?
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so im white, lets just get that out of the way, but i wanna talk about the orientalism in windblades design.
this doesnt feel like my place to talk about but if no one brings it up then no ones gonna learn about it or second guess it. im tired of other white people not noticing this problem or thinking its fine. if anyone asian (specifically japanese) has any thoughts or personal input it is SUPER fucking welcome! its hard to find people talking about this.
so transformers has a women problem in general. they set up women in the 80s in one episode and never elaborated on it in that show. they added arcee in the movie. they put a couple in the beast wars era, but outside of blackarachnia (becoming a literal succubus) we dont really get any of those characters adapted (besides arcee) over iterations. never any new ones really.
then the comics get windblade. i havent read the comics, this isnt about anything that happens in them. this is about her design how she comes off as as shes been adapted into cartoons. i wont comment on events from the comics outside of her origin, as i know fuck all about it.
so she was supposedly a fan-voted character, but her 'fan-voted' aspects have nothing to do with the problem (in fact the fan-vote was more of a suggestion because a few things dont end up being true) the voted aspects are as follows:
autobot. jet. fights with swords. red & black. named windblade. female. valiant. telepath. from Kaon.
so here's what that ends up looking like.
so they took some liberties. there was other concepts where she was a european knight etc, but this is where they landed. she has this extremely feminine figure, complete with makeup and sculpted hair. many people immediately mistake this look for a geisha (though supposedly being kabuki) she gets little pump heels, it makes her very human woman shaped. birthing hips and all. thats classic girl robot stuff. its the specifics of it that are an issue.
so thats kind of a lot of japanese motifs. the makeup, the swords, the hair... why does it look like human hair? thats a very specific hairstyle on a character who doesnt have hair...
on its own, having a japanese inspired aesthetic isnt the problem. i mean, coding characters to be from different places is fine. having characters coded as a specific race could be fine. jazz already exists, and despite being taken by racist creators sometimes (cough michael bay cough) its not inherently bad that he is black coded, specifically when in the hands of black creators/voices. thats key.
so having a transformer who landed in japan and took on some culture from there. you could see that happening. that could work if in the hands of people who were japanese.
but thats not even her backstory. shes not even from Kaon (as was voted), instead she's from another planet entirely, a more spiritual one, which narratively makes her alienated from cybertronians. this alienation adds to the problem. "shes not from here." "shes not like us."
you'll see many people look at this design and think "is that geisha transformer?" and as the character isnt from japan and knows nothing about the culture that inspired her, the media itself never corrects anyone. no one in the text goes "no shes not a geisha shes actually based on a kabuki performer", no one says any words about it, its just how she looks, its just aesthetics without explanation or cultural background. shes not literally japanese, she just looks it. its easy to mistake without cultural context from a western perspective, so calling her a geisha becomes a rampant problem. general audiences arent looking at forum posts form 2014 where someone correctly explains what the motifs are. shes made by white people, and white people are largely the ones consuming the media. its unfortunate, and could have been avoided if the culture shes inspired by was relevant to her character.
so she's clearly heavily inspired by japanese aesthetics, which codes her as being an asian woman in this media but written by non japanese people. and then she becomes so popular that she has to start making appearances in shows.
she shows up in robots in disguise first. lets compare her to strongarm (the only other girl in the show)
having this japanese woman be far more thin and feminized than the other girl characters is the problem. strongarm is literally the first non feminized main girl transformer (not counting strika) she is much more in line with the men around her, square and broadshouldered, shes the largest car of the bunch. that was an upgrade finally. and then we get windblade. she has ruby red lipstick, human hair, heels, jewellery. on its own? thats fine. but keep in mind, shes heavily japanese coded already. then shes immediately seen as a romantic conquest for sideswipe (though he never gets anywhere, he literally claims ownership) it leans into tropes of sexualizing asian women because she stands apart from strongarm. shes the flirt, shes the very feminine one. is this on purpose? its not their fault windblade looks like that in the comics and strongarm looks like this. but side by side what is it saying? did they intend to say this about their asian woman? no, probably not intentionally. its kind of unconscious bias that tends to happen when you dont have a diverse writers room. no one notices until it hits the audience.
but lets just jump in here with the other weird problem in RID, because shes not the only one who jumped from the comics.
drift (who while being a samurai in the comics (literal?) doesnt.... LITERALLY wear a suit of samurai armour) shows up. with his two minicons who act as his children (who hes very strict with). theres a heavy overuse of the word honour. he owes a life debt, hes very humourless etc... they also never explain why he wears this armour. he came straight from space. he doesnt even turn into anything big that warrants it, hes just another sports car. bumblebee and sideswipe are sports cars too. but why is drift a sports car? tokyo drifting. drift. you get it.
so drift also is a comics original character. he, however, looks nothing like that
i will assume that drift looks different for one reason....
i mean. i shouldnt have to tell you why that was bad, right? you guys get why michael bay movies are bad? (if you genuinely dont please enjoy this series as a starter) ill just assume you do. knowing that that drift is bad, can we also say windblade is suffering from a similar problem?
this show brings in these FOUR new characters and heres how they look side by side.
so. okay the minicons are raised by drift, they share his aesthetic, okay. we dont know where he got that aesthetic but yeah they share it. windblade.... its unclear in this show if she shares the being from another planet like idw part. shes on a mission from god to be here and thats all we know. but the point is they have no similar origin. yet they all look like they could be from the same place. that they shares a (japanese inspired/coded/stereotyped take your pick) culture. meanwhile our from ep1 mains look like this:
so that feels. specific.
its not inherently bad to code robots as japanese, however its a problem when it seems to be for aesthetics alone. its stereotyping. they look nothing like the rest of the cast, everything like each other, and are from completely different backgrounds. they literally have the same colour palette? theyre not even like that in the comics.
sidenote, if you add sideswipe (who's alt mode has kanji on it and an asian voice actor so we can assume some coding there too) they look like this. yes they all have swords.... no one else does!
yes, windblade is the only character with a white face. makeup. yes sideswipe claims ownership over her to fight off one of the minicons. its not wrong to show windblade being harassed by a man, but it is wrong that no one ever says "leave her alone" you know? like thats just whats to be expected of her. it sucks. but at least her voice actress was asian! that wont happen again.
so. moving on to cyberverse, she becomes a central character. character wise? shes great. she gets to do a lot, no one sexually harasses her here, we're free of that era.
comparing her to the other autobot women, shes more in line now. if thats a good or bad thing overall is less the point (ie theres no autobots built like strongarm was, they are all just as thin and curvy as windblade is) but to me its still very apparent that shes still implying human hair. even with how simplified all these designs are.
like you can see how these red lines around her eyes get lost at a distance, same with the clips in her 'hair'. its clearly just trying to adapt her original design and im not saying thats a wrong choice they made, but i am saying its really busy in comparison
maybe thats a nitpick. but here it seems much more pronounced just how specific her head piece is because we can compare her to chromia, who is from the same place. do these two characters look like they have the same culture? not really. chromia and arcee look more alike. maybe thats just because they were designed later, but its unfortunate none the less.
even comparing her head to the seekers, what she is kind of supposed to be, they get the same old starscream mold. maybe she'd look better if they just did that? or something similar? like, give her a helmet. no one has hair. please stop implying hair. we all know what youre doing.
none of this is me saying i find these shows bad or that i hate windblade, i genuinely love her! and i love both these shows! it just feels hard to love her because of how she was designed. its not a problem with having a japanese coded character, its how stereotyped the look is. how othered it is. it leans into racist tropes. its orientalism, using japanese aesthetics to make her look interesting and different. you can tell she was made by white people.
how is it that despite being around for 10 years now, no ones tried to redesign her?
also look at the toys! look at the god damn toys!
she can take that head piece out to have a FAN. why does she need a fan?? shes got fucking WIND JETS ON HER BACK! its very obvious why they did this. shes a japanese woman, she can fight with a fan to complete the aesthetic! despite her character never having even been there! and no other transformer using a fan weapon! shes so COOL AND DIFFERENT like that isnt she?? holy fucking shit
to go back to those original voted concepts for a second? if we went back to the drawing board?
a telepathic valiant female autobot who can fly, has a red/blue/black colour combo (with yellow accents) uses swords, and maybe even with canonical asian heritage....
could they even do that? is it possible?
...
OH! wait it SUPER IS! who'd have thought!?
im NOT saying "we dont need windblade! we have a better girl with the same concept!" cuz thats stupid. do not misunderstand, theres room for WAYYYY MORE TF GIRLS! the literal 1:13 ratio is FUCKED! i know windblade had to fight to exist too and that sucks!
i just think it's CLEARLY possible to do this better, and it SHOULD be entirely possible to have windblade (who was LITERALLY holding court as the MAIN girl transformer for years) to be, i dont know, not so racistly designed? i think its entirely possible to fix, i just wish they would have tried already.
and this is just what my white ass has thought about since meeting her and not seeing anyone else bring it up. like going hunting for a real take about it just meets you with the rampant misogyny problem in fan spaces. its hard to find people talking about it in a normal way, but if they have before id love to know.
i just wanted to put my thoughts about it down, maybe get people to think about it more or talk about it more. cuz jeez, i would really like them to fix the problem. like they fixed the arcee problem in idw, right? can they fix windblade next?
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Ok Andy this had been on my mind for a while now and I really want to hear your thoughts on this!
So we all know that Shouto is pure husband material, the kinda guy you'd be proud to introduce to your parents! But yk all those years of abuse and trauma (our poor bby ;-;) would definitely take a big toll on anyone, right?! So I was reminiscing about the earlier episodes where he is all closed off and cold to everyone, and that really got me thinking... what would dating Shouto REALLY be like.
How much of his behavior in a relationship really be affected by his past? Obviously nobody is perfect and even though our princess man comes close what do you think his shortcomings are as a person/partner? What do you think his toxic traits would be? What could be some of his bad habits? How would he react during an argument? I used to hc that he would be really calm and passive but then I remembered this scene
Ofc us being his partner would change things, but he DOES lash out at times. The police officer hadn't yelled at them, he was just explaining what they did was wrong according to the law (which could be unfair but thats his job) and he straight up called him a slur 💀 (well yk in this society where so many ppl have animal related quirks it probably is a slur? Idk tho). He was sorry later but still. I was so shocked when I internalized the fact that Shouto does infact have quite a temper, even when he's not rude/ aggressive about it. It doesn't make him bad or anything because 9/10 times it's well warranted and I am just a pussy who doesn't handle other's anger well but yk...
WHO WOULD EXPECT A TEMPER FROM THIS LIL FACE?!
I am really wanna take his character and study him under a microscope and I am really interested to see your pov on this. Also don't feel inclined to agree with anything I said if you dont, I asked you precisely cuz I wanted a different way of looking at him from mine.
Btw none of this is to paint him as a bad person or partner because of a few shortcomings or his trauma. We all know he's too precious for that and that would be hypocritical of me especially since I have many of my habits and unhealthy ways of dealing with stuff that I dislike, but I also feel like he has so much angst potential in issues that aren't necessarily rooted in his family but moreso his own personality. Healing is often a "one step forward and three step back journey" and while I hate to watch him struggle, his perseverance gives me a lot of strength. Also obviously people change over the course of time and character development and all that, but we see even after the MASSIVE amounts of character development Bakugo has he still retains a lot of his previous qualities and obviously still struggles with a few things. I wonder if it's similar for Shouto. I wonder what he struggles with 🤔 (idk why I am scared but I don't want ppl to take these dumb sleepy thoughts of mine the wrong way yk lol)
I support my mans rights, his wrongs and everything in between :>
(p.s. I am so sleepy rn I don't even know if any of this is coherent cuz the points are flying all over the place but I hope you get a gist of what I am trying to ask. I love myself some sweet angst when it comes to all my blorbos but when I think of Shouto nothing obvious comes to mind. Also whenever I write even an ask or question like this my respect for writers keeps increasing tenfold! How do you guys write fics at like 4 am and it's still a masterpiece and I can barely string my thoughts together... )
Yes!!! I have so many thoughts about this, particularly as someone who also has daddy issues and a hot temper but actively works to be better as well lol.
I do think for the most part we've really seen Shouto move past who he was in those earlier episodes. That is not to say he still doesn't have those feelings, but he arguably manages them in a more regulated way. He has the temper but now he also has the tools and the perspective to better articulate himself.
I think generally Shouto would work hard to be calm and patient during an argument, but as with any human being, mistakes will be made and tempers will spike. I think during particularly bad arguments he'd get more closed off, like in those earlier episodes, would try to go off by himself so that he doesn't explode with that white-hot rage.
I do think, thankfully, that Shouto's ability to show empathy and compassion even in the middle of what we know are the most emotionally trying times of his life (the fights with Dabi), bodes well for his future ability to communicate and regulate himself on the whole. I do not see him as the kind of man who would yell or break things; I see him as the kind of man who now does everything in his power not to be like that.
And also with a face like that, would we not just let him win any argument anyway?? LOL
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Idk if you know but Izutsumi is actually 17. It's not stated in canon but it's in the adventures guide so
oh huh i had no idea... i know falin must be 20 cause laios said hes 23 and im p sure they are 3 years apart, and laios said tallmen/humans however u wanna call them reach adulthood at 16 but idk if he meant his country or the race as a whole, so im not sure if that makes izutsumi a minor or not? also idk if it changes due to her being beastkin?
i mean ofc from our perspective she would be, but this is a fantasy setting w different ages of maturity, for example chilchuck said halflings reach adulthood at 14, due to their shorter lifespans, im just curious if for izutsumi adulthood would also be 16 like laios or if maybe eastern standards in the world of dunmeshi is different?
If it's the same, while she's not a minor that is still a three year age gap for izutsumi and falin, with izutsumi barely being an adult, add to that the fact idk how old marcille is or when she wouldve reached adulthood, i can see ur concern.
ill leave them out due to the blurred lines there, but in general i think its important to remember fantasy people dont necessarily age the same way we do, if beastkin age anywhere as fast as halflings, at 17 izutsumi would be older than a 17y/o tallman. thats all hypothetical ofc, and not really an attempt to justify the age difference, more so genuine curiosity about how ages work for her since idk if thats established? im still shocked a 29y/o halfling is old enough to have 3 adult kids for example, but then again they live an average of 50 years so it makes sense? I think the differences are really interesting! because despite only being 6 years apart, chilchuck is inherently a lot older than laios due to their racial traits and customs. Laios is a young adult and chilchuck is more like a middle aged man. Meanwhile, to Senshi and Marcille, 29 sounds like a baby, which means a 29y/o elf or dwarf would probaably be perceived by their own race as younger than even laios is to other tallmen, if that makes sense? at 30 smth senshi was treated like a kid by an older dwarf, maybe thats equivalent to their teens?
Now im just rambling though, i know that's not what the ask was about, it just had me wondering. In a context like this age can be more than a number due to racial traits and lifespans, but since izutsumi is probably closer to a human and idk if beastkin age differently or not, i'd agree that shes quite young especially compared to marcille who's probably a bit older than falin herself (well shes a lot older by literal decades but i imagine only a bit older if you consider elves probably reach adulthood a lot later which likely means marcille is a young adult herself?)
i also havent finished the manga so its difficult to form more concrete opinions on the matter but i hope i explained myself well? i do very much think a 17 year old in real life is a child, i was just rambling about this fantasy world and wondering how different things might be. if their 16 is our 18 then their 17 is our 19 and their 20 is our 22. I dont remember how mature I was at 19 but as a 22y/o i dont think id have felt comfortable dating someone 3 years younger personally? i still dont tbh
oh wow i scrolled back and realized i rambled too much im sorry about that its just my brain is full of dunmeshi!! still, let me know if i misunderstood the age mechanics of this story! Regardless, ill leave them out, thanks for letting me know!
#long post#polyasks#dungeon meshi#anon#their friendship is still v cute tho and not everything has to be romance#izutsumi in cat mode demanding pats from marcille was v cute#then back to normal self awkwardly comforting marcille#theyre besties
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hi, im a mutual of yours who is too shy/on&off tumblr to interact, but i do look up to you; and your blog and way of seeing things helped me in the past when i was struggling quite a bit.
Lately I feel as if im lost in life, lost my passions and floating aimlessly without a real goal, detached from the future etc. Do you have any advice? I appreciate ur view on things, hope this isnt overstepping 🌦🌈
hi its ok no pressure too interact w me ona personal level just cus were mutuals i enjoy the ambient bonds that can form on this website its why i stay ^^ and no it's not overstepping at a;ll sorry it took me a lil while to respond i was trying to think of good advice since i often feel lost too---
well firs t n foremost to give credit where credit is due, this bjork reddit AMA response really gets to the bottom of it , ever since i first read this here on tumbr a few years ago it really rly stuck w me:
the way this answer helped me is like, it helped me realize i dont need to be so regimented i dont need to put all this pressure on myself to create..All that does is feed into self inflicted guilt when i cant live up to my own expectations u.u you see for my whole life i've never been able to plan anything. yes i can think about the next steps i want to take, i can assemble a plan, i can see the logical way forward, but my moods. or like, idek. how to explain..
i cant force anything. if im not feeling it, i cant force it. ive STRUGGLED w this like i dont wanna be this way. because my feelings i cant predict. like for example i worked on music all winter because thats what i was feeling. then suddenly in march i just like, wasnt feeling it all of a sudden. As soon as it hit me i was like Fy767*T&UG*** because i didnt know when it was gonna come back. i still dont know!! im just trying to be patient waiting it out..in the mean time i have suddenly become enthused with drawing again after not ~feeling~ drawing for most of 2023. sometimes i go for weeks where i dont take a single photo and then suddenly it starts flowing again.. my website was also left untouched for most of 2023 until recently.
thats just one example of this repeating pattern in my life that i didnt understand for so long. theres years of my 20s where i couldnt feel passion for anything at all, looking back now i believe those times i was meant to be focusing on stuff in my psyche that needed healing to clear out some headspace for art. and this bjork quote put a lot into perspective it showed me how to reformulate my thinking to be more accomodating to my disposition. when i'm patient & kind w myself, take each day as it comes, let go of the imaginary pressure, let go of "the future", stuff starts to come thru easier.
and maube its gonna show up in ways you dont expect but its true that the mundane world offers so many ways to practice being creative & giving u stuff to weave into the art u want to create.. every water fall starts w a single drop its trueits true :] thats my advice i spose i really didnt meant to write this much but im boooored.. actually my nighttime boredom writing is one of those habits i never considered to b creative until very recently. there's so many small & automatic things we do that can lead to a meaningful life & purpose.
thanks for the question anon i hope this helps in some way , this is whats helped me but everyone's process is different. and i still have moments where im like WTFFF is happening but its easier to ride it out now. i wish the same for you just give it time <3 thanks again xPmd9
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sso's candle, and jumping into the ai bubble for publicity and investment
so yasmin told me to write about this bc not everyone might realise it. its a bit of a long topic so prepare. for legal reasons this is all my personal opinion :3
first off - the sso candle doesnt actually have anything to do with ai. i just wanna get that out of the way. i will come back to this later.
the sso candle ai promotional event is 2 things to me. one is, "probably someone at the company knew someone at the other company bc why else would this specific random collab ever happen" (and theyre not even a candle company? its a perfume company?)
but the other thing which is the main thing, is that we've entered the ai boom, or ai economic bubble. before this there was a crypto bubble, there's sort of been a mobile bubble, and we have the old classic dotcom bubble. summary of tech bubble is, a new shiny thing in tech makes ppl go OOOH!! I WILL THROW MY INVESTMENT MONEY AT THAT!! I BETTER HURRY AND NOT MISS THE TRAIN!! IM GOING TO GET FILTHY RICH BY INVESTING IN THE FUTURE!!! and many of these ppl dont actually understand the tech, and can therefore be exploited by startups or new projects targetting these investors, by just saying "we use the shiny thing that is the future and will make people rich".
just like the dotcom and crypto bubbles, everything that has "ai" in it is currently getting lots of attention both from media and from investors. things that are about "ai" are currently like "wow! youre using modern tech and this is the future!" and for all those ppl who dont know that much about ai or tech, or tech ppl who are easily influenced, it makes companies look cool and modern and forward if they include that current shiny thing.
what does sse achieve by making promotional vids and posts about an ai candle? attention from media and potential investors. the playerbase doesnt care. their target audience arent ppl who generally care much about ai, or even support its usage in creative fields.
they also count on that the playerbase wont be mad enough about it bc most players dont rly care or understand. which is prob going to be an accurate prediction. so they dont especially lose on it unless theres a genuine uproar, but even then, theres a lot of space in "genuine uproar" that still results in "no such thing as bad publicity".
so, thats my perspective on why sse did the ai candle thing. publicity for investors and the industry and media. it helps both sse and the little weird "ai" (side eyes) scent company who both get ai bubble points here. its completely unrelated to what players want or care about (and as many have said, players actually do want to buy things from sse - like plushies and other merch).
now to the last point. the candle isn't even ai, and it's really just an ai boom trending word thing for attention.
some ppl on ssoblr dont really understand what ai is or how it works, or how its already been in use for a long time. im not really gonna explain all of that but i do ask you to like... watch a video or read a wikipedia article or something and please educate yourself on what ai is and isnt. anyway,
supposedly this company feeds pictures into whatever ai model theyre supposedly using. the ai supposedly spits out things like "sunshine :) dirt :) chupacabra :)" from the customers phone pics and then actual perfumers mix blends based on what the ai supposedly told them from the pics.
idk if ur catching on here but, there are trained perfumers here who have seen the customers' pics with their own human eyes. they humanly blend scents based on the content of pics theyve humanly seen. (unless all perfumers at the company are also blind and the ai is their only way to find out whats in the pics, and if so, power to them, ofc.) and, at best, an ai has supposedly told them some generic image analysis terms, which are unlikely to be very helpful to the art of scent design.
there is absolutely nothing the supposed ai is actually doing here. theres no reason for it to be here. it contributes nothing to the process. exceeeeeppppttttt..... clicks!!!! articles. videos. wow! crazy ai scents! wow! ai horse candle!! thats crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so future!!!!!!!!!!
the scent company is a classic tech bubble startup (allegedly from my perspective in my opinion). they dont even use ai (allegedly from my perspective in my opinion). they want a quick buck for looking like a modern futuristic business to the FOMO investors who fall for this every single time theres new shiny tech (allegedly from my perspective in my opinion). and sse collabs with them for pretty much the same reason (allegedly from my perspective in my opinion).
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ok fine (i say to nobody because nobody asked me for this)
HEADS UP i speak about some of these as if im like. dissecting the actual meaning of the song... thats not true idk why i decided to phrase it like that. i meant that this is how the songs relate to him in my head but. i dont feel like fixing it
and ive got crazy brain fog here we fucking go
baba yaga - nilfruits is, in retrospect, a pretty loose fit considering its actual meaning, which i didn't figure out until AFTER i associated it with walter. so. :P blehh
the MV shows a young girl, easily impressionable and desperate for validation, being lured into a building with compliments and promises of being something great. she's then continually groomed (into dancing, presumably for free or next to nothing, as well as murder??) using that same validation
... or somehign idk POINT IS i know generally what its hinting at and it doesn't fit w how i see walter
brutus - the buttress reminds me of what walter might've thought about alucard right before his betrayal as well as everything that came afterwards. verse 1-3 is from the perspective of old walter,
And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wishing / For untimely death or demise / Or am I just wishing I could be like you?
envy is a feeling very familiar to me. even with the people i love most, if they're more liked or better off than me in any regard, i might have moments of extreme hatred towards them. it always passes, but in the past i've acted on those feelings impulsively or in a moment of lapsed judgment..
all of that was to explain how i see his betrayal, basically. him reacting in shock when seras tells him she enjoyed his presence was def the "oh i fucked everything up" moment, and him continuing on regardless could've been apathy that i also tend to feel after I've also fucked up; i think he's mentally protecting himself against the trauma of losing basically all he had in the moment. also just. yk. he probably thought since he went this far he might as well. but 1. he still could've just stopped 2. shhhh
verse 4 is from the perspective of dark! walter,
Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy / I too have a destiny / This death will be art / The people will speak of this day from near and afar
This event will be history / And I'll be great too / I don't want what you have / I wanna be you
and the outro would be during walter's defeat, though that's usually when my daydream stops since the lyrics don't match up well enough ell oh ell
scapegoat - ghost and pals mostly for the chorus.
Now do you hate me? / Are you afraid of me? / Are you able to feel culpability? / Come forth and kill me / Bow down and worship me / Take your time, all we have is eternity
Now with a new start / Broken and torn apart / Nothing in me resembles a human heart / My name is unknown / Something I've never told / On my own, I declare / "I don't wanna go home"
i see this from the perspective of dark! walter, with some lines being both literal and metaphorical. i see "all we have is eternity" and "now with a new start" to be literal in the sense of his turning. "my name is unknown, something i've never told" is metaphorical, representing him lying about his true thoughts and feelings, maybe not even having a good idea himself. also a nod to lack of identity issues in bpd. "Nothing in me resembles a human heart" is both literal and metaphorical since he's no longer human, but he's also lost the ability to care for those around him now that his plan is already in motion.
appetite of a people pleaser - ghost and pals is pretty self-explanatory but I'll point out some lyrics i think fit well anyway,
Give me your dire expectations, and I’ll consume perfection
Now that I’ve become a full-course identity / Take a bite of me / I hope that I’ve become a favorable delicacy / That I’m worth something
I’ll eat ‘em all, the thoughts of anyone I’ll ever meet / Just to make them happy / Wondering why I’m a burden, or so it seems / Aren’t I everything?
These flavors of personality are / Hindering my likeability / My impulsive desire, my appetite has / Spoiled my urge to satisfy / Everyone will like me more without it
copycat - circusP hardly even counts here but i'll add it anyway. listening to this song gave me the headcanon that whenever he realized he subconsciously picked up a behavior or habit from alucard, seras or integra, he'd feel an intense guilt for it. thats also bpd related btw i used to do that and still do to a lesser extent
ok im bored that's it
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OKAY WHERE DO I START,
mutual pining is so hawt, please i wanna fucking scream it. It is SO HOT. The little glances in the cafe, the smallest force of attraction and interest in each other bringing them closer, thats enough of a force to fuck up Newton's laws SJDJDJSNSHSH please all the cafe scenes are so delicately crafted, just the right amount of interaction, the pesky college dude giving toji a chance to get closer to her and keep her safe from anything, the bruised and broken knuckles maybe indicates that he actually took care of that weirdo? A.MAY.ZING
Each got thier own chances to get closer to each other, her being a cashier, the little thoughtfully hot cup of green teas, and the protein balls, and tojis chances with the mugs and the creep ass bitch. And finally roped them together with the biomechanics question 😭😭😭😭, im a sucker for slow burn, renders well 🥹😍🥹
The smut hello?!? Lily, you mentioned this is your first time writing smut and this is the softest, sexiest, most passionate smut of tojis, so preciously balanced on respect and pleasure, the flirty teases, the urge to be closer, UGH NEED
Also was the angst foreshadowed with the supernova?
Cause you mentioned her as a nebula before, then a star when she got drunk and finally a supernova when they slept together. And if im not wrong thats on the path to becoming a black hole..? And maybe, hear me out, whatever they had together, toji and her, it didnt matter after that seemingly common razor cut and it got sucked into the abyss of hers, while she was stuck in a abyss on her own worries..? That signalling that she had finally reached the end stage and not even fate would escape from that. When toji gave her no chance to explain herself too, just that.
Also the little physics comparison in addition to the supernatural being of angels controlling your everymove with equations despite physics disproving the existence of angels otherwise, iS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL I ADORE THAT JEUDJDDHDJDBDHJDJRHEJE
Gosh, the amount of hurt i went through went toji blocked/deleted his number, ugh, the way he wanted nothing to do with her, even if she hadnt meant to hurt him, just as blackholes are so unique in nature and and so attractive and destructive, she pulled toji towards her slowly but surely, but at last she was the reason why thier relationship was destroyed too
I am in tears and awe at the same time
Thank you for this art, i love you
Oh my GOSH MY DARLING!!!
I cannot tell you how much I fucking loooooove to read lengthy, in depth comments about something I’ve written. Like oh my god, I made something that made you write all THIS?!? For meeee?!? Like damn, my heart is swooning <3
First off, I’m so happy you loved the smut! It was something I was quite nervous about, so much so that I sent it to my two best friends to see if it was good enough before posting!! And all the things you’ve said about it is exactly what I was aiming for!! I didn’t want to write what I call “mindless smut”, which is just filthy, hot smut. And don’t get me wrong, I do love those too, but I just feel a lot of fanfics these days are just ALL about that with not much story (this is an obvious sore spot for me that I don’t want to delve too much into). I wanted my smut to be something nice, between two people who love each other and want to express it. So thank you for appreciating what I was trying to do :)
Now, I don’t want to get too much into saying what was right and wrong about how and why everything happened the way it did in their relationship. It’s completely up to every reader to decide why they think it ended the way it did, as well as interpreting anything they thought was foreshadowing, but I am so interested and up for discussing all the theories!! The way you’re looking at comparing the MC to a black hole and ultimately destined to destroy everything is certainly an interesting perspective on the story, and I actually didn’t consider it before!!
With so much love for you darling,
Lily xo
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ok so like despite spending years being constantly online and looking at the words Dungeons and Dragons, i am at a loss as to understanding what d&d is 😭😭😭 and i like ik you love jrwi so like... care to explain maybe??? i really wanna know fhdgdfkgk 😭😭
OH MY GID HM YMG SO MHYH GMYMDOG HI SAPPHO THANK YOU SI MCUH FOR ASKING ME HJS I AM GOING TO EXPLODE OKAY SO.
As a premise i have played dnd but with a group of my friends for like 3 oneshots where i had no idea what was going on really and the dm was pretty inexperienced SO i am going 2 go off of all ive picked up from jrwi mostly since thats where ive learnt like. Everythin abt dnd. SO I MAY BE WRONG ABT SOME STUFF BUT IM EXPLAINING FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF SOMEONE WHO HAS LEARNT EVERYRHING LIKE THIRD HAND.
BUT. so dnd is. Fuck iidk what term u use to explain it but its basically exactly like playing pretend as an 8 year old except with more rules and its fantasy instead of like lego ninjago or whatever The Council of 8 year olds has decided 2 play today.
Im gonna relate EVERYTHING back 2 riptide btw forrrr ease of access SO YEAH OKAY.
In dnd, there r basically 2 roles u can be. Either the dm (the dungeon master) or a player. Simply these r basically like the narrator and the characters sorta. The players each have their own player characters (pc) that they play and they very rarely change who they play in a campaign. They might get a new pc if their old one dies or smth happens to them where they arent around for a while. The dm however, plays pretty much every single other npc in the campaign (and grizzly, the dm of riptide jrwi, does it so fucking well and he has a unique voice for like 80 different characters or smth hes insane). The dm also tells the story and presents the players w the situations they need to get past. The players then decide what they do. The entire thing however is a LOT of yes anding. For example, the dm might be like "so you step into this tavern and around you you see [description of tavern bla bla bla] and sitting at the tables r groups of people, many of them bald, [bla bla bla more description of everything happening round them]. And then with that the players might decide their characters talk to each other a bit and then slap each bald man, resulting in the dm then later creating a combat with the players fighting against a group of bald men. For example. But yea thats the dm n the players basically n yea
However beyond just usual roleplay of like characters interacting and chilling, theres the whole thing w ROLLING. Bc like. Just ROLL with it. Bc like any rpg every character, pc or npc or enemy or anything. Has stats in a few different skills. Since i barely remember playing dnd myself bc that was like almost 2 years ago or smth fuck if i remember, im just gonna list of what i do remember from hearin shit in riptide. So these skills r shit like charisma and strength and wisdom n acrobatics n whatever yknow and i dont actuallyyy remember but ITS FINE. and then there r 2 ways ppl can roll these things. Either checks, or saves. Its sorta difficult to explain the difference between a check and a save because in terms of technicality i dont actually know the difference. But usually checks are for if youve decided to just do an action, but saves are for if youre trying to negate a negative effect or. Whatever. For example, if youre trying to pick up something very heavy, youd make a strength check. But if you were like trying to. Fuck wait i cant think of an example of a strength save. Errr. Ok fuck it im switching 2 charisma examples. A charisma check would be if ur tryna like idk win someone over, but usually ud make a persuasion check or a deception check fuck wait er idk the difference. OKAY IGNORE ME HERE BC IDK THE TECHNICALITIES OF DND THAT WELL BC I HAVENT PLAYED IT IN A WHILE AND I ONLY DID A COUPLE VERY MESSY ONESHOTS. but a saving throw would be for smth likeee lets say someones tryna possess u and u dont want em to. U would make a wisdom saving throw to try to like Resist the possession. If u win the save, u dont get possessed. If u fail it, u get possessed. And the way u determine if something fails or wins, is with dcs. I do not know what dc stands for but its basically whatever number u have to roll higher than to pass.
ANYWAYS. With rolling n shit, with checks n saves, u roll on a d20 (a dice with 20 sides) and then add or subtract ur modifier in that ability. For example, gillion in jrwi has like a -4 to dexterity or smth absurd bc hes not dexterous at all. This means that if he rolls like a 15 on the d20, thatd become an 11 instead. If it is actually a -4 idk the exact number. Altho, chip jrwi has like a +11 to persuasion because hes fucking insane. So then if he rolls a 15 persuasion check thst becomes a fucking 26. Also, rolling a natural 20 or a natural 1 r like. Sorta big things as they r the highest and lowest u can roll. So like, rolling a nat20 is almost always an immediate success UNLESS whatever ur trying to beat has an insanely high dc. For example, at one point gillion had to make a constitution save with like a dc 35 because he had done some crazy shit. He rolled a natural 18, and with all his spells and all his modifiers to give him some kinda buff, he only made it to like a 32 USING ALMOST ALL HIS AND HIS FRIENDS SPELLS. So in this case he wouldve had to roll a nat20, but without the spells and buffs, that wouldnt have succeeded because it wouldve still been below the 35. Anyways.
Theres also a thing called rolling w advantage or disadvantage which is from whst ive seen, just rolling twice and taking whichevwr roll is best. So if u have like an advantage to a perception check bc like lets sayyy someones also looking with you so theyve given you advantage, you could roll twice and keep whichever roll ends up higher. And then vice versa w disadvantage.
Anyways theres a lotta mechanics i cant rlly fully explain bc i dont fully understand lol BUT smth i can explain to the best of my ability is COMBAT. so with combat, you begin with everything that is going to be fighting rolling initiative. This means player characters who r in the fight, enemies in the fight, and anyone who is going to join the fight later. The initiative rolls the decide the turn order, with the highest initiative going first, then down the turn order to the lowest initiative. Each turn, the character can do a buncha shit which i dont fully know BUT. I do know that everyone gets an action for their turn, so with that they could likee go to attack whatever theyre fighting, or use their movement to get away, or cast a spell to help themselves or their friends out or WHATEVER it can literally be like idk fuckin anything. Ur action could b shootin the bad guy in the face or it could b pullin down the pants of ur enemies. But then, some ppl also get a bonus action or maybe everyone or maybe idk i dont know the logistics but theres a number of Things u can do on ur turn until u decide that ur done doing things or if ur out of actions. Also tho bc its still very roleplayed, anyone can like talk to each other, regardless of turn. So like a character during their turn might shout to their ally, who can talk back instead of being locked in a stasis of Not Their Turn. However the person replying cant act on anything until it is their turn. Which leads 4 some kinds funny dialogue ig. Like 4 example it might be like. "Hey, ally, throw the Object over here !!" "I cant !" "Why not ????" "Its not my turn im stuck in my idle animation for the next 6 seconds !" Or whatevwr the fuck. But then they could throw The Object their next turn. Ummm and yeah. Also w combat p much most attacks have to pass the victims AC which is their armour class. So like, if one person wants to stab someone else, the dm will b like okay roll 2 hit. N if the other persons ac is sayyy a 15 (if they remember 2 put on their leather armour and dont forget to equip it for like 50 episodes) then that roll to hit has to end up above a 15, or itll miss. Or however thwy want to flavour it. Sometimes the miss will be flavoured as hitting armour and just clinking off of it, sometimes itll be the victim dodging, sometimes itll be just a complete fuck up, whatever rlly. And then yeah also in combat, if someones hp is reduced to 0, they do not automatically die unless theyre reduced to under double their max hp i think ? Idk the exact thing but no hit so far in riptide has instakilled i dont think other than one that was like crazy insane but that one was like crazy insane dc104 strength save holy fuck kinda blow. Actually i think its different when it comes 2 enemies bc the pcs have plot armour or smth idk man. But if someones hp is reduced to 0 they dont die, theyre knocked unconscious. And then, they remain unconscious until somebody heals them to above 1 hp, and for each round or smth they arent bsck, they make death saves. Idk if the dcs always the same or if its different for different ppl, it seems to just be a dc10 but idk. But if in total the character fails 3 death saves, they r just straight up dead. But if a character succeeds the death saves, theyre still unconscious, but not dead. If theu roll a nat1, thats automatically 2 failed saves in one. But if they roll a nat20, they recover a singular hitpoint and come back up.
Anyways thats all the mechanics shit out the way i do not understand it that well and a lot of it involves maths that im too scared to find out more abt BUT. in dnd as well there r races and classes. The race is like. Ur species. For example in riptide bc i love my examples, chip and jay r just humans, whereas gillion id a triton, so like. A fish guyyy. But with legs hes not a merman. And he is amphibious. Other races in dnd tho include tieflings and orcs and genasi and dragonborne and goliaths and That One Thing My Friend Was In Our Oneshot I Forgor and tabaxis and halflings and elves and a fuckkk ton of different races dude theres a lot. All of them r fantasy tho other than like. Humans. And also pets if there r any. Sometimes the pets r fantasy too. Like on the crew there was a bluebird called apple and she was just a normal bluebird. Well she had some shit going on but tbat wasnt important bc what was important was that her race was at that time just a normal bluebird. Altho theres also the most specialist girl in the whole wide world called pretzel and shes a frogtopus and she has the head of a frog and rhe body of an octopus but frogtopi dont exist irl but yea.
anyways, classes r different to races in that theyre less to do w genetics n more 2 do w abilities. For example, in riptide once again, chip is a rogue (i think hes taken like 2 levels in sorcery ? But hes primarily a rogue), jay is a hunter/ranger i forgot which one and an artificer, and gillion is a paladin and a sorcerer. These classes affect the abilities these ppl r good at and the things they can do, and if theyre magic, the spells they have and also the beliefs they hold. I thinkkk paladins r known 4 bein v like religious n shit bc a lot of the time the other players have been like Yeah Trust A Paladin To Thank God For Us Saving His Life or smth like that. But other classes include things likeee fighters and bards and warlocks and barbarians andddd i forgot any others becauseeeee yeahhhhhh awesomeeee but yeah!
Andddd yea honestly i think thats all the dnd stuff explained theres a few like other stuff ive probably missed out and ive probably got a buncha this shit wrong BUT this is enough 2 understand riptide atleast. I think. Basically, tldr, dnd is roleplay with more rules and fighting and fantasy and the dm is like god to ur players but like also god of the gods. The end.
#day thoughts#asks#long post#my thumbs hate me so much for typign this all#but thank u so much sappho for asking this i have been waiting to get an opportunity to go crazy abt this shit#and like one final time i am a dumb baby loser who doesnt knoe if everything ive said is completely accurate but its the best i can do rn#and if u wanna lesrn more search up stuff abt dnd 5th edition bc thats the version theyre playing i think#also some of their stuff i think its homebrewed idk
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I think him not deleting himself is a better way for the story when it comes to meeting the people he's affected, I just think that the way he deleted himself was better way for the story for himself. I think they handled his attempted suicide and attempt to fix things really well, because not only does it show that you can't actually change the past or future of teyvat unless you're an alien variable, but also that he was willing to take his life for a person he spent hundreds of years "hating" just because he learned they didn't betray him. It just fits really well with how he still hadn't moved on from the death of the first people who let him exist as himself.
I'm explaining this kinda messy because I'm hungry rn :/ but what I mean is I think what they did with the story was the best for both teyvat lore in general and also his own self, but if he's to meet the inazuma squad in an event or something I think it's gonna be kinda messy to write it well. Like maybe they'll just include a line that's like "oh yeah the traveller told me about you etc etc" and I don't really want that, but I also don't want one of those black background white text "wanderer explains what he did in the past" so even though I really like the way it's written I'm kinda worried for the conclusion of his own arc (kaedehara buddhist enlightenment) because I can't think of a way to show it well without it being either very long or anticlimactic
YESSSS i agree with you onn that. i think ive talked about how i do like (from a storytelling perspective, not.. you know.. LOL) the severity and SWIFTNESS of his decision to erase (kill) himself. it was very stomach-dropping in the moment if you were someone that already cared about him. i actually remember putting the game down and walking over to my roommate to just sit in silence for a little bit LMFAOOO. it exemplifies how impulsive & swayed by emotion he is and just how deeply his self hatred motivates his actions as well as his EXTREME DESIRE to love and trust others (and how he felt like he couldnt for so so so long). but i also think it effectively shook any mistaken preconceptions other players might have had if they werent as invested in his character (people who thought he was irredeemably evil or inherently malicious in character, it's pretty hard to believe that about someone who can regret their actions so much and so quickly and immediately try to correct what he's done at his own expense). i'll try and go find & reblog my initial thoughts ab the quest tbh i wanna go reread what i wrote.
from like an authorial perspective, erasing himself from irminsul feels very much like one of those "i want to write this so bad because i think it is a fascinating development for this character, but it does not fit in with what i want to do with this character in the future and therefore might be more trouble than its worth as it undermines other plot points i would like to achieve with this character" which when i encounter that i usually write the scene to get the inspiration OUT but treat it as a separate timeline or a "what if."
this is legit completely personal opinion so it doesnt rly fucking matter at all but i honest to god don't find "no matter what you do, the past cannot be changed" something to be particularly interesting. so i guess thats why i have so many qualms with this direction. maybe its bc like. duh. to me. and maybe bc im not particularly invested in the overall story, so i didn't catch anything it might move along in the traveler's development. So i guess thats why im a believer in 'this could have been done differently and better. some Other way for him to find out about niwa.' especially because i've already had a myriad of qualms with the storytelling regarding scara before this point. so my perspective is a bit warped by opinions .
i think i just HATTTE the clunkiness that i expect to follow in regards to his character relationships. like there is something so uncomfortable about it to me like, i just.. u word it very well. it's gonna be Messy. and im always stressed about "messy," especially because i already felt like the storytelling behind his resolution was Already messy. the quest itself re-iterated his past .. so many times... i remember getting Annoyed... (through a) already accessible lore, b) that stupid academic paper, c) irminsul scene d) the "storybook", ANDDD e) re-living his memories... it felt very repetitive, almost overkill to me). so im just dreading what's to come especially if has to re-hash things to characters in-game that have already been explained to the player literally four sometimes five times over. i just want to get to new developments, NEW plot-points, NEW storylines and i want them to be COMPELLING and i want him to develop COMPLEX and MOVING and STRONG character relationships.
#AOEUHGHHH#this is probably just a symptom of caring more ab a single character than the overall story he is a part of tbh#cuz we all know idgaf ab genshin like that#tw suicide
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The Children's Rebellion|Revenge / DSMP Fanfic [Space AU - Tommy-centric] / Thoughts
Children of the Stars is the series that The Children's Rebellion is in, but people recognize the name 'The Children's Rebellion' on its own more so yeah.
The fic is nice. I cried. I'd recommend reading it. The first work is finished, standing at a nice 58 chapters. There's a sort of in-between story that happens after for Christmas [AND THEN there's a SEQUEL that happens after that continues the story because it's not done. its ongoing and im going to take you with me to suffer from the cliffhangers.] I don't wanna spoil much for you if you haven't actually seen the fic but are still reading what I'm saying because it's better when you experience it on your own, but Golden Duo POG
Basically Space AU but with Origins SMP kinda mixed into it. It's Tommy-Centric, and basically let me just tell you the summary it gives you.
"In which Tommy Innes, son of Sam Innes, Avian extraordinaire, meets up with old friends (all of whom are traumatized) and drags his new family and friends through a galaxy of problems (okay, maybe HIS galaxy of problems, because he refuses to tell anyone anything unless his tooth is being yanked out) because of some Avian named Chroma that really really wants child soldiers."
It tells the story really well, and honestly I'd recommend just trying it out, even if you think it might not be your cup of tea, because you never know. Hell, I don't like space AUs that much but I just LOVED this.
Also for once Dream not the bad guy woo- I'm like 80% sure Chroma's an OC but if Chroma's an actual person I never found out about please correct me.
So basically.. The story is complicated from an outside perspective so I can't really explain it. But. ..The Children's Rebellion is an event that happened on.. This is really testing my memory which remembers.. not a lot, honestly. I swear I'll do reviews on fics that I didn't read months ago so you won't have to bear with this.
But uh.. Tommy, Ranboo, Purpled, Hannah(?) and I believe someone else were what started The Children's Rebellion, Tommy being the leader. Uh. Because so Chroma is a dick and decided 'oh yeah why not make my own child army' or some shit and then decided to execute the people who go against him or are I believe too weak, and then said that if they didn't clap then they wouldn't get food, because everyone was starving there.
But they kinda just started a rebellion, and even sacrificing their lives, in which Tommy, Ranboo, and Purpled were the only ones left. The children did the Rebellion's symbol, which I believe is the middle finger, pointer finger, and the thumb out, meaning Fuck you, Loser, and Peace, because if it was just the middle finger then schools wouldn't actually show it in history.
It gets really complicated, but they kinda get to different places, and Purpled and Ranboo get help on the I believe L'manburg something, its like a ship thats run by the DSMP crew, but then Tommy ran off because I think he had to do something, but Purpled was too weak to do anything after being sick during majority of the time when the Children's Rebellion was happening, and then I think Ranboo got hurt really badly.
So then they end up in different places, Tommy kinda being in this.. place. I'd like to call it a prison but I don't know anymore. agh.
I forgot to mention too that Tommy's an Avian, and like the only other Avian was Chroma. (When you read the fic don't correct me.)
Anyway.
Avians age I think really fucking fast, and die soon. Avians are going to go extinct because no one likes each other romantically, and therefore no reproducing. :'D
Except them trying to get back at Chroma eventually ofc because the fucker needs to be put in his place kinda..
Well there's a sequel where we're still trying to get rid of Chroma.
Currently we are stuck on a cliffhanger after cliffhanger.
I'm terrified we're all going to die, or someone is going to die.
Join the waiting game today, and read the fics.
Also there are some triggers of course, like Graphic Depictions of Violence, Death, uhh Dark topics..
I'd be looking over the fic tags to make sure you're okay with whats going to be in it because there are probably some topics that people won't be able to handle.
#dsmp fanfic#mcyt#dsmp au#fanfiction#fanfic#read on ao3#ao3 fanfic#ao3fic#ao3 works#the childrens rebellion#the childrens revenge#children of the stars#au#alternate universe#thoughts#dream smp#origins smp#space au#tommyinnit-centric#tommyinnit#golden duo#dsmp#dsmp fic#tcr#fic rec#fanfic rec
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I don’t know if you got this ask response so I’m sending it again:
The lyric “crush my heart and wreck my image” can be interpreted as her singing about Joshua leaving her and wrecking her image. However, we don’t know for a fact if Joshua “wrote her a song about how he was never leaving”.
As you said Sabrina started the writing process of the album 2-3 years ago, she broke up with griffin around April of 2020 so it’s still a possibility that some of the songs on the album are about griffin. When Sabrina was with Griffin his racist and transphobic past was exposed, which lead to her getting dragged all over twitter for something she did not know about. Her public image was getting so bad to the point that she posted an apology on Griffin’s behalf (which she lated deleted). So thats where my 'vicious' is about Griffin belief comes from. It is very possible the song could be about both of them but we will never know as we don’t know Sabrina personally.
I also wanted to address your post before your response to my first ask:
“only to end up leaving her during a time where she was being slut-shammed by the whole internet on different social media platforms and getting called all different kinds of names and threats for being with him.”
Both Sabrina and Joshua were getting attacked during this time because the public who listened to DL interpreted the song to fit a narrative that best suited the situation they believed happened. Did the fact that she dated Joshua attribute, yes but it is not accurate to say it’s the only factor.
“induced stress & having septic shock won’t happen again cause of Vicious.”
“but his own fans are the ones exploiting the things he’s been through every chance they get to make him the victim to make him look like an angel when in reality he is human who makes mistakes not everything has to be justified through his past and the traumas he’s been through.”
As we can both agree, Sabrina’s feelings are valid about the whole situation and she has the right to express that in her music. On the other hand, just because you’re not a fan of someone you should never invalidate someones trauma, especially when you can't see through their perspective, this is evident through your response and it comes off as ableist (which may not be your intent). Of course people should take accountability for their wrong doings and not blame their own trauma for it. However to insinuate he is not a victim because he made mistakes during the relationship allegedly is wrong.
“no i wont be a fan of his cause i feel bad for him. i really think some people only like him cause they feel bad…“
It’s a bit harsh to say people only like Joshua because ‘they feel bad’ for him. You don’t have to ‘like him’, but the same way there are reasons you are fan of Sabrina there are reasons people are fans of Joshua (or both).
At the end of the day, this is not our relationship and we can only interpret what we think or want to believe happened. We will never know them personally and can only support as fans. We can agree to disagree, thanks for the discussion!
Hey i didnt reply cause i wasnt checking my notifications but i just did and decided to read, i got busy before so i forgot to.
Thanks for replying- and i do see where you’re coming from especially the Griffin thing and i understand why people link it to him and like we dont know maybe it is about both of them. but the chances are higher for it to be about Joshua. the thing is the more people try to convince me otherwise the more i sit and stress the fact it is about him which is why i come off as harsh in my posts cause to me it’s not like Sabrina is hiding it. and she clearly doesn’t wanna talk about it or explain herself she hasnt and probably wont sit down with zach sang show like she does usually.
Again i agree it did atribute and there are many factors to it yet that was a big one to her it seems she keeps refrencing him leaving. its not a bad thing its just how i understood it from her and even from him. he mentioned himself walking away in a lot of his original music that were on his social media posts.
the part where i touch on joshuas fans thats just how my experience with them was. and thats the cold hearted truth you could criticize his lyrics say one thing u dont like about him or his music and they bring up his traumas. in a way its frustrating to see something being used time and time again to make people sympathize over it like its just weird. maybe thats just me. maybe its stan culture and like part of me gets it part of me thinks its weird to bring in something so sensitive and being used like that. Thats not against joshua at all he has the right to talk about his shit i was speaking on SOME of his fans that know it’ll bring in the attention. and before lifeline the song was a thing, like i get why thats being discussed now but im talking about the past 2 years.
i meant it gives off that they like him cause they feel bad not that they actually do. when you talk about your faves struggling and victimizing them every chance u get over any type of situation someone is bound to think that thats all you’re in it for. of course his fans love him for him and his music that was just a dig at the way his traumas has always being brought up in stan culture by his fans like its some sort of kink. you maybe dont see that but i see it across multiple different platforms.
im ending this with i do really see what you’re saying and im glad you wrote back my posts do come harsh i kind of just type at the top of my head and that day thats just how it felt for me thats just how i looked at it my mind does change tho i do think i might have been a little to harsh on him. nonetheless he’s still human and expresses his feelings and he’s still young and learning and isnt perfect so i dont hate him i do talk about him maybe part of me actually likes him. but i was just analyzing the story off sabrina’s album and how i understood it to be. its not me saying this is a fact we will never know. i kind of like it like that it’ll always be between them but from the music we hear it obviously had me give it an idea of what i think happened and thats just what i was writing about based on what i think happened.
i also just wanna mention (not just to you) like dont take my posts seriously i write shit and change my mind later. i blabber my thoughts on situations a lot thats why im on here and why i prefer tumblr. like i could completely disagree with myself next month and look at this in a whole different prespective .
anyways i do understand where u’re coming from you’re right too its not our relationship we’re only interpreting and are only fans looking at it from the outside!
thanks for writing back and again i love a good discussion. sorry if there are any typos i dont read shit back… maybe i should
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Personally I don't see what you see in Geordo. He seems like such a scumbag to me and is the least likable charater in the whole series. He is always trying to get her alone to push her into things of a sexual/ more romantic nature without taking how she really feels into consideration. Like he "really wants her" and thats enough for him without caring what she really wants. Honestly he is the borderline non-con villian in my mind.
I mean, it's okay if you feel like that. To each their own.
Hmmm when I think about Geordo being sexually aggressive towards Katarina, I only really just think of the anime. The manga is a much more moe-fied and toned down version of the novels, and the novels does an okay job at balancing his desires for Katarina in all aspects. I'm not saying he doesn't have that trait in the other two mediums, I just think that they aren't as intense as the anime, so as someone who consumes all three versions I just tilt my head and go "huh." Of course I'm sure there are people who read the manga and novels that still feel uncomfortable about his behavior and that's valid too.
-> light novel spoilers ahead <-
tldr, there is a lot more going on to him than just someone who offers sweet words and questionable invitations to Katarina's ears, this may not be noticeable or acceptable to some people but we get to know more about how he thinks whenever the novels puts us in his point of view. You're free to dislike him as much as you want, but I like him & don't see him as a scumbag; and here's why:
I at least find it okay that Geordo is very serious about his pursuits for her because he is aware that she is dense and will not get it until you spell it in the sky. Everyone is just walking eggshells around Katarina hoping that the girl would just develop feelings for one of them to win the harem olympics. He knows that being dealt with a good card isn't enough, so he's actively taking action in order to win her heart. I mean I don't always agree with his methods either, like the "fait accompli" line or constantly inviting her to his room alone, but really, how much of that is something he really means to do vs how much of that is his excessive flirting + our minds assuming that he really means to claim her in that way?
Lines like that are really popular with japanese fans because it makes Geordo look "sexy" and "forward", which they enjoy in their fictional stories. He knows that his position gives him an advantage so he'll try to play his cards right and use it to increase his chances in victory.
It actually reminds me of a scene from the Hamefura StoryMe game, (don't really know how canon it is but I remember the JP ver. was advertised by @/hamhura) where Geordo indirectly asked Katarina how to woo a girl he really likes, and Katarina thinking he was referring to Maria, gives all the things he usually does in order to win her heart (visit her home, give her gift, dance with her in parties, be really forward about your feelings etc). I'm not saying Katarina approves of the ways Geordo attempts to win her heart, but there's some hilarity in knowing that Geordo already had and is constantly trying all the known ways to win over a girl in the world from a young age, and still has nothing to show for it. Like no awareness, much less any *feelings* lmao. So trying to make it obvious that he is interested in her romantically and sexually seems like the next logical step to him. I mean if you go by Geordo's logic and considering the time period this takes place in, he's pretty confident that he can get Katarina to love him back and they are engaged anyways so in his head he's in safe waters to attempt to make teases about such advancements if it gives him the smallest chance that Katarina would become at least aware of him through it.
Of course I know that stuff like that won't fly here in the real world, but maybe that's why I'm so lenient personally when it comes to his (debatably) sexual teases and advances, because it's a fictional story for a japanese audience. Doesn't mean I would approve any advances like that if it happens to me, it's just that it's hard to take his actions seriously when Katarina or the story doesn't take them seriously. Like, the girl would be pushed down to a bed by RufuSora and gives her a hickey and she still thinks the man is out for her blood.
He wouldn't even be entirely wrong, knowing the identities of the characters who Katarina knows has romantic interest in her in the novels, actions does speak louder than words when it comes to her. Like I said, whether or not Geordo really means what he says when the story teases the readers with sexual implications in his words and action depends on the reader in my opinion. They are there, I wont pretend they don't but I'd argue about the level of intent depending on what scene you're talking about.
The only scenes on the top of my head where he is very abrasive towards Katarina is the "fait accompli" scene, the Book scene form the anime (S1 EP8), saying he wants to lock her in his room (LN6) and the multiple times Geordo had invited her in his room at night alone (LN6 and LN8, i think).
I've already explained why I am okay with both Keith and Geordo's Book scenes from episode 8 of the first season because they are accurate representations of an exaggerated and unhinged versions of their desires towards Katarina so I won't bore you with those details again.
He mentioned in Volume 6 that he wants to lock Katarina in his room forever and keep her light to himself, which alarmed a few people when the book came out, but he said that in a moment where he feels super grateful and loving towards her because she knew how tired he was despite his fake face and without even saying anything. It was a moment where he felt so infatuated towards her that he wished the moment where he gets to rest in her arms would last forever, thus he made such a comment. I make it sound more dramatic than it was in Volume 6, it was just a quick comment honestly lmao.
For people who don't read the novels, that last part looks very sus and raises a few red flags I know, but to be fair we can't definitively say what his intentions are because Katarina never commits to those visits. Katarina has actually become wary of those invitations, because Keith and Mary have warned her that Geordo's intentions are sexual, but I'm not really trusting the word of the two people who are most distrustful and antagonistic to Geordo. They could be right, of course, but who can really say? We assume that they are correct because they care about Katarina and are wary of Geordo, but hamefura('s novels) is full of unreliable narrators anyways, it's not like Keith or Mary would consider the possibility of it being anything else because when it comes to the third prince they always fear the worst case scenario.
If you think about it, Geordo is probably aware that winning her over with a "fait accompli" won't work at all because it'll put him in a position that will make other people push him for the throne (which he doesn't want) or could ruin his reputation in high society if Katarina or her family react to it negatively. I'm not Geordo though, so I can't really say if he even have such fears and doubts in the first place, that's just my assessment based on the obstacles he has. On the outside he is really sure of himself and confident (which he arguably deserves) and on the inside he is very careful and insecure when it comes to Katarina.
Also like, spoilers but for someone who is very forward when it comes to his physical advances, Geordo is super weak when he is in the receiving end of those touches. He gets super embarrassed and easily flustered when its Katarina who is touching him, as if implying that to some extent that he's all just talk lmao.
I don't really agree that Geordo doesn't care about what Katarina feels at all, in fact his inner dilemma in the novels is that he doesn't know what to do because in every step he takes he might do something that could ruin his image in Katarina's eyes, be it pursuing or abandoning the throne or looking like a monster in front of her. He even halts his plans to make advances towards her during the Keith Kidnapping Arc, but threw it away because he knows how much finding Keith means to Katarina. He puts what Katarina want and doesn't want as his priority, so when what she feels is unclear that's when he acts on his own intuition. The only reason Geordo feels so confident to advance towards her sexually is because Katarina never rejected him before (because she doesn't know what they mean, and all of this is for the sake of simply making her aware in the first place)
I'm not trying to make anyone think that one has to read all the books in order to understand him, I think the manga does okay at conveying his feelings too. The anime really prioritizes on making him look "sexy" for the japanese female audience, so anything he does is sprinkled with spice whether we like it or not.
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm overanalyzing all his actions just to justify them, everyone has the right to be uncomfortable with his advances if it seems too much for you. It's just that his actions, while over the top and unnecessary, are done to please the type of audience that hamefura caters to, and it's hard to take him completely seriously when the story doesn't either in my opinion. Doesn't mean he's right or that any of it is okay, but it's his method of trying to put a dent on Katarina's bakashield. When you're in a race versus your friends who Katarina all loves equally, he's gonna use whatever card he can get in order to win.
I like Geordo; I like how much of his feelings for Katarina forces him to reexamine himself and realize that he isn't a perfect prince at all, that he has lots of problems and flaws that he needs to work out in order to be someone worthy of her. I like the way he falls more and more in love with her in every interaction they have because he finally gets to have a genuinely and caring interaction with someone. I like how Geordo wants to do better and be better for Katarina and the people around him, and he wants to be able to thank Katarina directly for that through being able to show his love. I like that despite how much of a chad he acts in front of her, he's a blushing mess at the thought of Katarina returning his feelings. I find it funny when his "sexual advances" fails and gets thwarted because he's trying them on the densest person and most protected lady to ever live. I like how Geordo is so head-over-heals in love with her and how much comfort and warmth she brings to him by simply being her caring and bubbly self.
I guess it's just a matter of different perspectives. If you find him unlikeable or a villain, then you do you. I try to explain why I personally excuse his actions, but I know it wont fly with everyone. We all see each character differently and absorb the material in different ways. In fact it's probably a bad idea for me to defend him with material that isn't the anime nor manga yet lmao. I mean I'm not that much of a fan of Mary anymore, and I'm kinda scared and wary of her, but I know people don't see her the way I do and I'm okay with that.
Maybe its just me, who is the kind of person who just goes with the flow and doesn't think too hard because it's all fiction anyways
It's hard to tell all this from simply watching the anime, so I laid all my feelings down in hopes that someone out there would understand why I like him so much.
Thank you for the ask, you can ask more questions or call me out if I said anything insensitive or wrong, I know a lot of this is me overanalyzing things which might look like I'm jus stretching. As someone who is aware of the things to come in Hamefura X, I can say that I am both excited and nervous as to how everyone will react for the direction of Geordo's character.
#mh ask#hamefura#my next life as a villainess#geordo stuart#katarina claes#geokata#for some reason tumblr wont type the letter E#anyways there are my thoughts please dont hate me lmao#if you dont like Geordo then thats fine#im not forcing anyone to like him#i just wanna explain my own perspective thats all#DONT THROW FIRE AT ME#bakarina#destruction flag otome#hamehura#hamefura spoilers
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i know we joke about tommy never acknowledging his character or talking about him but genuinely i kind of really appreciate his approach to this kind of stuff.
dont get me wrong i don't think theres anything wrong with wanting to explain your character and offer additional information and insight, its probably really helpful in such an inaccessible medium such as the dream smp...
...but,, i just personally strongly prefer tommys approach on offering no additional explanation or guidance of his character and how you should feel about him other than his streams.
sometimes i feel like he gets a bit misunderstood because of this and i see a lot of bad faith readings, but i think i prefer that over arguments on how he's "supposed" to be interpreted. and since he offers no additional explanations or context other that just being in-character during his streams streams i think that results in c!tommy being a much more subtle and show-not-tell kind of character than people realize.
basically, i really like how much faith he has in his audience.
#like even if tommy explains his plans or motivations its always in character and its not just straight up exposition#sometimes hes clearly not truthful; sometimes its notable what he leaves out#sometimes the way he explains his own perspective says a lot about his character#and so forth!#like I think thats good characterization#but like also i DO wanna hear abt like his writing process and his writing desicions and the technicalities#but thats different#tommyinnit#mcyt#dream smp#q-rambl3#also i said all this in someones inbox b4 but i wanted 2 make my own post hehe#dsmp
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