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#i just hope they know what theyre doing they could be mean to me and i wouldn't care as long as they did it right
it could happen to you // lorenzo berkshire x fem reader
playlist : it could happen to you - laufey
summary : youve had a crush on lorenzo berkshire for years , always pining until one day he asks you to the yule ball.
ravenclaw reader , y/n used
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"cho its getting dangerously close to the ball and i still dont have a date!" you whined.
"its two weeks until the ball , you have more than enough time! i know atleast 5 guys that would drop dead to go with you," cho replied with sympathy.
"oh yeah like who? funny they havent asked me yet if theyre so desperate!" you complained with sadness.
"lorenzo berkshire," cho said blanky , staring at something behind you.
you scoffed loudly , "in my dreams maybe!".
"no...no , lorenzo berkshire is coming towards us with flowers."
you jumped up at this , staring at her with pure shock not wanting to turn around ,"cho! cho please dont joke around about that!"
"im- im not!" she exclaimed finally turning back to you , "he is literally coming over to us-"
"y/n," you heard a deep but soft voice say right behind you making you freeze all movement.
you turned around slowly , seeing lorenzo stood there with some red tulips in his clenched fist , his other hand playing with his robe nervously , "l-...hi lorenzo"
"its enzo!" he said quickly before physically cringing at his own words , "i mean call me anything you want!".
"ah o-okay sorry," you said with a bright red blush.
he stared at you silently for a second before realising the tulips in his hands were not yet in yours , "oh these are for...you!"
your whole face lit up as you grabbed the tulips from him, hands brushing delicatley , making his fist clench by his side.
"thank you so much enzo, theyre beautiful!" you admired the flowers you held , forgetting your past nerves of the boy you like being in front of you.
he smiled at this , blushing obviously , "i was wondering if um.."
you nodded your head, waiting for him to continue.
"if you-" he began again only to be cut off.
"pretty flowers y/n , oh hey berkshire!" fred weasley , your other best friend , said happily from where he now sat next to you on the bench.
"hi..." lorenzos hopes quickly deflated as fred wrapped his arm around your shoulder.
"fred i was talking to enzo," you said softly , trying not to be rude.
"yeah sorry about that , also enzo? never heard you let anyone call you that before berkshire! anyways , i was just wondering, do you have a date to the ball yet? i dont and-"
"she does!" lorenzo quickly cut him off as you looked at him in suprise.
fred mirrored your expression , before laughing and smirking at lorenzo, "and who might that be?"
"me." lorenzo scoffed , his anger rising more and more by the second.
meanwhile you exchanged a shocked look with cho and gaped up at enzo , who was only staring down at fred.
"good for you man , nevermind then!" fred said with a smile before he got up, waving to you as he walked away, "see ya y/n!".
once fred left both you and lorenzo shifted into an uncomfortable silence before he brushed his hand through his hair in frustration , "merlin im so sorry i shouldnt have done that i just didnt want him to ask you-"
"lorenzo , i dont care." you said as he visibly calmed , "as long as we are actually going together i dont care at all."
he grinned back at you , "yeah thats what i intended to ask you before...he came over."
you laughed at his frustration towards fred , "i wouldve rather not gone at all than have to go with anyone that isnt you."
he bit back his smile and looked down at his hands before shifting back into eye contact , "do you want to go to hogsmeade with me this weekend?"
"id love to," you grinned at him before standing up and giving him a kiss on the cheek , "just know you cant get rid of me now!"
he mirrored your wide smile with a blush on his cheeks and an arm around your waist , "why would i ever want to get rid of you?"
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itsafternoonpast5 · 2 months
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thinking about their friendship so hard
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puppyeared · 3 months
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adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 days
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...
#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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bunnyb34r · 5 months
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I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse
#marquilla#im not even joking when i say this next election makes me wanna kms so bad. im fucking terrified and i feel like we already know what's#gonna happen. not bc people arent voting or organizing i mean bc of how far the right has gotten and how angry they are that a#dem won so theyre gonna show up in droves and it's like god i wish we could idk have some safegaurds in place??? like oh idk you#incite an insurrection you Can't run for president?? but also that wouldnt fully stop shit bc florida has its own neo nazi running and#theres more behind him in the wings. but like idk man i just get so fucking suicidal thinking ab the future#and my drs. are like well then dont look at the news??? 'i sure dont' mkay thats great (not) but um i CAN'T not watch bc i need to#be informed i need to know. and they're like well then stop worrying ab it til election day?? LIKE THAT HELPS#so i just dont bring it up. and i just spiral and have breakdowns in the shower and think ab making a will and shit yknow normal stuff#bc this is fine! just dont engage! stop worrying it's like a year away! it MIGHT get better! idk Join in your community then??#like yes yes thats a start but with what fucking energy when im bedbound most of the time im not working and that doesnt stop these fascist#s like me helping the community garden would be good for the community and probably my mental health in general BUT that doesnt deal with#the actual fear that makes me wanna Kermit#like it really fucking feels like all i can do is pray and hope god somehow intervenes (rapture anyone?) and that things do go well and#that the outright outspoken nzis don't win but like I really just wanna die man#i know the outcome more than likely will not directly affect my life bc im white. cis passing. and can go back in the closet regretfully#but like that doesnt reassure me any bc i have friends and loved ones and generally just give a shit ab other people and how this WILL#affect them directly and that terrifies me. it really feels like we cant ever have a moment to just exist yknow??#idk man i just wanna die bc im so scared haha how fun (: how normal (: this is fine. everything is fine.
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thinking about the diggity dog
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malikselfindulgence · 6 months
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Worsties of all time I need them grinded to fine dust and then inhaled by a whale
[Template under the cut]
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snekdood · 2 years
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ppl who only care about the aesthetics of things do kinda drive me crazy a bit
#i JUST want native wild flowers. ok?#idgaf if perennials dont bloom all year i dont care if theyre not always colorful i love green as a color too AND THATS NOT THE POINT OF#ME GETTING FLOWERS ANYWAYS! i want native flowers for the native pollinators and probably other native plants for birds n shit#but all i can find at plant places is stuff thats like. the same species but not native#its just so stupid its not sold as a default like they literally grow here. they literally THRIVE here#and it feels like everyone im talking to irl about flowers only cares about whatever looks good like plz cmon plz i beg of you#fellow humans please. oh my fuck. give a fuck about something soon bc the worst thing to be is the guy at the end of the world who knows#its ending but is smiling while its on fire bc you gave up hope and indulged in the things that are pleasing to you instead of just getting#th fucking native lobelia species jsdsdkds#like idk about you but i at least want my soul to fucking rest easy knowing i did the best i could instead of giving so much about#aesthetics that it overrides my ability to make a idk perhaps more moral decision. ik flowers arent the most pressing issue but native#species dying is. and if you're already getting flowers theres literally no reason not to just get the native version of whatever#sometimes its hard for me to want to just 'let people enjoy things' when enjoying things means putting your time/effort/energy/money/etc.#into shit you very easily could have picked something more ethical or better for the world w.#it just feels like everything is dying around me and i dont know how to stop it so i want to do my best to help whats dying where i am to#try to keep it alive and it just feels like other people around me dont have that as a priority at all and its infuriating.#i genuinely get pretty emotional when i think about native species dying and how everything in temperate climates is being overtaken by#european or japanese species instead. probably more but those are the two i see the most. when we have plenty of nagive species here#like the same thing just native but idk maybe it doesnt have enough eurocentric features 🤪 sjsjsksjsjsks
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0rph1x · 1 year
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good morning tumblr dot com im normal again bc we cut contact so just! expect regular nonsensical posting! =D
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♡♡♡♡
#.#im understanding sisyphus a lot better now#or rather just greek irony a lot more#nobody was doing purgatory or hell the way they greeks were#sorry i was thinking of tantalus yeah thats whats happening to me#cause i like cooking i like food#i wanna say maybe to some im actually good at it or something maybe#but i also cant it more than one meal a day if that or else i go to really dark places mentally and feel like shit physically#like its bad and ik i should work on reversing the whole ED situation#but unintentionally or not ive invested too much into this sinking ship to not see it through#its not that bad i swear ik it could be worse and im not encouraging it to worsen#but like is it bad id rather it get worse than i recover?#no yeah thats bad its bad damn oh well its not like its not obvious im like transparent w this shit i bet nobodys said anything tho so its#it cant be that bad cause nobodys said anything#doesnt mean they havent noticed but hey theyre also the same ppl who are happy im marginally less fat and kinda on the right path#like if i hadnt fucked this week up then i wouldve hit 25 probably#i def did hit 25 one day but yeah atm its 20 and if i put in the effort which i hate how hopeful it sounds i know its bad but fuck i cant#care about morality and shit anymore nothing good has come of being moral or healthy or trying to get better#the only thing thats working rn is this so maybe if in a few months i hit that dream number maybe itll make it easier to not kill myself#like sure it wont change everything else wrong but even if im alone at least 40 pounds lighter i wont mind living w myself#like even if it makes no difference to anyone at least maybe i can look in the mirror for longer than a few seconds before starting to cry#i thought there would be more good days before things got bleak but now its like hard to tell myself its worth holding out for the next ones#i dont mean ​worth in a suicidal way#but like yeah no i cant find reasons to be happy and that should be scary except its been months and im just tired now#i cant believe ive gotten to this level of defeat i didnt think this was achievable outside like a literary context#goodnight and happy v day i guess cheers
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hajiberry · 1 year
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VOICE-MEMOS THEY SEND WHEN THEYRE DRUNK
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Kirishima- “baaaaaaabe, hiii I’m out and well I mean I’m not really out anymore I’m on my way home. In an Uber cause no drunk driving duhhhhhh but actually I’m not even drunk so I actually could’ve driven but somebody I won’t name names was being a bit of an asshat and wouldn’t let me drive. But oh my god I love yousomuch like you know I love my guys but god I miss you every time I go out. And yes I know I’ll see you when I get home but your gonna be sleeping and I’m gonna be sad but honestly might wake you up because I wanna kiss you. Okaaay pulling up to to the cribbb noww BYYE”
Deku- “okay let me start by saying I’m only slightly under the influence right now. Like honestly barely, I didn’t even drink that much but sometimes I feel like because I never had a college experience to build my tolerance up I’m still a lightweight at 24 but anyways I’m on the way home and I keep thinking about how much I love you and I miss you so much and oh my god I don’t know what I’d do if we ever broke up. Not that I want that to ever happen but like oh my god how could I even function? I’d probably drop from number 1 to like in the hundreds 'cause I’d be that useless without you.” *starts crying and the rest of the audio message is him crying*
Todoroki - “y/n, I’m currently in midoriyas car because he’s driving me home because I accidentally drank too much at the after-party for the award show. I’m so sad you couldn’t come, like I know the anniversary party for your parents is really important that’s why I’m flying out tomorrow to be there for it. Shit, that was a secret. I hope you don’t listen to this because then you’ll know I’m on a plane coming to see you in like 3 hours. Honestly don’t know how I’m going to function hungover on an airplane but I think I’ll manage, I mean it’s not like it’s a commercial flight so I should be good. Damn it well I was originally going to say I love and miss you. Which still stands but I’m gonna go now because I think I’m going to throw up” “TODOROKI NOT IN MY CAR PLEASE”
Bakugou- “fuck. I’m so drunk right now and I hate even admitting that but that’s how shit-faced I am right now that I can even admit that I’m drunk. This is why I should never go out with my idiot friends, they make me drink and then I end up talking about you and that’s so beyond embarrassing. Not that you’re embarrassing I just don’t need them to know my business like that. Kirishimas driving me home right now which I feel like speaks volumes about my lack of good judgment right now. I don’t even know what the point of this message is I just wanted to say you’re one of the most tolerable person I’ve ever met and I really fucking love you. Okay bye this idiots smiling at what I’m saying and it’s creeping me out.
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cutemeat · 1 year
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i wish the wga site would let me innnn... and by that i mean i wish theyd post the writers that are gonna be on the team for s16 already grrr why arent they all listed for me to seeeee ://
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Does the universe have something at play here?
So in an attempt to move on and have something decent going on in my life I redownload the dating app and have been talking to someone knew. In the very short amount of time we've been talking with limited conversation there's already been multiple things that immediately remind me of him (ghost/g). Now I understand that people are going to have common interests and similarities and we're prone to looking for patterns especially when hung up about something and it's already on your mind, but some of it is weirdly specific. The very first show he recommended to me was the show me and (g) started watching together starting just the last few times we actually met up. And it's not a super new show that people are talking about or anything like that it's kind of a random show, (again I get people can have the same interest but it's not like both of them had happened to have mentioned this show (g) literally had me watching it with him) another thing is they're favorite game is the same (again not like a popular video game everyone is playing but also not something super obscure but just odd that in the only handful of messages this guy talks about his favorite game being (the ONLY) game (g) and I played. Also this guy's name is the same as (g)s brothers (I know it's not his brother as I know what he looks like but when I matched with him I didn't even realize his name until the other stuff started clicking).Again we haven't talked too much so there isn't like a million things making me think like this but it's weird that there are this many similarities so far just from a very short conversation. The last biggish thing is that we're going to meet up tomorrow for a first date and he literally suggested the same thing (g) took me to do for our first date. Again it's not something obscure but not your typical first date activity either. Like I always try to not look too deeply into things and rationalize where I can but I also believe in signs from the universe and I don't know what any of this means.
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cherubfae · 2 months
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I'm the anon who asked if you write for mammon and adam. I just sent the ask in, but regardless of your reply i was wondering of you could write the hazbin cast +helluva boss cast (the ones you write obviously) with a super sleepy slot like s/o? Like they sleep all the dam time and are still tired as hell, so tired they literally fall to the ground while walking in silence for too much, they sit down for a second and go out cold. They move so slow it's incredible, theyre always super clingy and always hanging on by their shoulder, It's very concerning.
lmao this made me cackle. Here ya go, sweets! Apologies if you wanted something serious, I literally couldn't 😭😭 just had lunch with my mama to celebrate her belated bday and I'm very full
sloth!like partner || hazbin/helluva boss x reader
tags: fluff, comedy, this is probably mostly crack lmao, established relationships
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Alastor
Okay but remember him with the Egg Bois? That's essentially him waiting for you to get ready for your date. What feels like an eternity was only roughly thirty seconds. He hopes you haven't fallen asleep in the bathroom.
"Dearest... I could just teleport you to places with my shadow provided I'm somewhere near." He suggests. It takes him a while to get used to any sort of physical contact so he's not crazy about the clinginess and does what he can to establish boundaries if and when he feels comfortable doing so.
Lucifer
Haha! You're so adorable! He actually quite likes having you on his arm, though sometimes not literally. It's comical watching you climb him and then slowly lose your energy halfway to his shoulders and slow-motion crash land towards the ground. Rinse and repeat.
Husk
By now he's quite used to you falling asleep, especially on him. You tucker yourself out so easily, he wonders what tricks Belphegor has up their sleeves lately. Husk loves you for who you are, but he is rather curious if there's anything that can cure or at least lessen your narcoleptic behaviors.
Angel Dust
Constantly cracking jokes and puns. Some of them can come off as a little mean though it's never intended to hurt your feelings. Though, he does know not to make the 'slow-burn romance' jokes every time you guys have a date night.
Vox
He's gotten used to you being constantly sleepy and rather sluggish. He does wonder if you are, in fact, a Hellborn from Sloth instead of a Sinner sometimes or if you drew the short straw. Vox is typically okay if you're constantly sleepy and a bit sluggish, but he is a fast-paced guy and likes all aspects of his life to progress at a decent speed; romance included.
Blitzø
Deadass he's watching you slowly drag yourself face-down along the ground with a soft skrrrr skrrrr along the cement. Honestly he's surprised you made it on Earth as long as you did. This was amusing but the more you, literally, drag on Blitz isn't sure what he should do. He's probably gonna start driving everywhere. Gotta keep pollutin' bb.
Loona
With how often you sleep, Loona isn't sure how you still manage to be so tired all the time. It honestly perplexes her but she's learned to roll with it. If you're moving too slowly for her liking, she'll pick you up and carry you off like royalty-- or if you're small like Millie, Loona is gonna commit you to her backpack transit indefinitely.
Striker
|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024
"Ya'llright, darlin'?" He asked with a raised brow. You just ate shit and aren't currently really doing anything about getting back into the upright position. Striker's tail swishes curiously and he gently prods you with his boot, heaving a sigh when you move.
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wooahaes · 8 months
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svt - pick-up lines
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pairing: non-idol!svt x gn!reader
prompt: reader hitting on their partner with pick-up lines. for funsies.
genre: fluff. comedy? this is so silly.
warnings: bad pick-up lines. goofy silly hours teehee!! established relationship in all of these.
daisy’s notes: ive had these plans for a while. this is just me enjoying pick-up lines. theyre so silly goofy sometimes.
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choi seungcheol
“cheollie,” you called out from your end of the couch. he looked up from his phone with a hum, and you kept a straight face. “do you believe in love at first sight?”
to your surprise, he mused over the question for a minute. “what? i don’t know, i think--”
you spoke up over him, trying to quell your urge to laugh: “do you believe in love at first sight, or should i walk by again?”
and he stared at you, brows furrowing together before it clicked. ah. you must have found pick-up lines online or something. “honey. we’ve been dating for two years. you don’t need to hit on me like this--”
“answer the question, cheollie!”
“no!” he laughed, “if you’re going to hit on me, then do one that makes sense!” 
yoon jeonghan
jeonghan hummed as he focused on cooking dinner... yet he heard the telltale sound of you making your way over, and glanced up. “hi, honey,” he said, before going back to his work. “it’ll only be a little longer--”
“hey. jeonghan.” he could hear the way you’re trying not to crack up over whatever you were about to say. “i hope you know CPR... because you’re taking my breath away.”
he looked up, half-expecting to see you holding your camera up, but instead you’re just smiling like an idiot. at least you’re his idiot, if anything. he gave you the tiniest once-over, before going back to his work. “your hand looks heavy... can i hold it for you?”
and immediately you cringed--something he caught out of the corner of his eye--causing him to laugh.
“you won’t win!” he said, looking at you. “i memorized some the moment i saw you googling them last night!”
“you cheater!” you said through your giggles, making your way over to steal a kiss from him. “ugh, you’re so mean!”
he chuckled against your lips instead. “and you’re still laughing.”
joshua hong
joshua had been doing the dishes when you sidled up to him with this goofy smile on your face. he glanced up for a moment, about to ask why you were smiling so hard all of a sudden, only for you to speak up.
“are you from tennessee--”
“babe. i’m literally from california,” he chuckled.
“no, shh,” you reached up to cover his mouth, “you’re ruining it--”
he chuckled, pulling your hand away, “i know.” and he abandoned his work, turning to you as he laned in. “and i’m gonna keep ruining it--”
“what? no!” you whined, “you’re so mean--just let me finish the line--”
he kissed you anyway, giggling when he felt you smile against his lips. when you started to try to finish the line when he pulled away, he merely kissed you again.
(you weren’t going to finish the line... but you didn’t mind it so much when every attempt was met with a kiss).
wen junhui
jun had been curled up on the couch, a book in his hands when he heard you call out to him.
“jun. junnie.” he looked up to see you approaching, phone in hand. “if i were a cat...” you looked up, smiling hard, “i’d spend all nine lives with you.”
oh no. oh NO. you were CUTE. maybe the pickup line was silly as hell, but you were adorable and it made him start to giggle. he buried his face in his book. “i thought we were past this stage!”
“are you a cat?” you pulled the book down as you crawled over, “because you’re purrrrfect--”
again, he started to giggle over your silly pickup lines. of course you’d pick cat ones. this man had a weakness sometimes and it was cats. the fact that you looked incredibly pleased with yourself only made this worse (or better? jun couldn’t tell which: your joy was great, but how was he supposed to live after this?).
counter attack time. he dived forward, quickly kissing you before breaking into more giggles. “are you happy now?”
with a giggle, you leaned forward, about to kiss him again. “very.”
kwon soonyoung
“soonyoung!”
your boyfriend looked up from where he was getting a drink from the fridge, suddenly caught off guard. did he do something? or... maybe you asked him for something and he was about to forget it? soonyoung could be a little forgetful, and usually you approaching him like this either meant he forgot something, or he did something. slowly, he pushed the fridge close, still staring you down..
“if you were a song,” you said, “you’d be the best single on the album.”
the fridge shut, and he could hear that hiss of it being sealed back as he continued to stare at you. wait. single? “are you breaking up with me?”
“what? no, soonie, i’m hitting on you.”
what the fuck were you talking about...? “honey... we’re already dating.”
“soonyoung--”
“ohh, right,” he twisted the tap of his water bottle. he lifted it to take a sip, pausing long enough to finish the thought, “you’re still bad at flirting.”
“soonyoung!”
he set the bottle aside as he made his way to you, “it’s okay,” he giggled. he reached out, pulling you into his arms. “i still love you and your bad pick-up lines.”
jeon wonwoo
wonwoo had been standing in the middle of the bookstore when you suddenly approached him, giggling. he could see from the twinkle in your eyes that you had something planned, and you reached out, patting his arm with a “hey, hey, wonwoo,” that told him immediately you’d been distracted while looking up the book you were looking for.
“yes?”
“on a scale from one to ten,” you said, “you’re a nine, and i’m the one you need--”
wonwoo blinked at you. “you’re not a one, though.”
immediately, your head shot up as you stared at him, suddenly embarrassed. as you swat at his arm, with a pouty “wonwoooo,” wonwoo giggled at you.
“you’re so cute,” he said. “did you find the book we’re looking for?”
he could see the light bulb over your head as you went wide-eyed, suddenly reminded your mission. “oh, right!”
lee jihoon
“jihoonie?” you called out, immediately getting your boyfriend’s attention as he was comparing two boxes of cereal. “if you were words on a page... you’d be fine print.”
... what the hell? he just stared at you, saying nothing as he tried to figure out what you were doing. was soonyoung around the corner? had you run into him and he pitched this idea...? or maybe it had been vernon. or mingyu. or... honestly, he had a lot of friends who teased him because his face went bright red whenever you teased him.
“if you were a vegetable,” you continued to read off of your phone, “you’d be a cute-cumber.”
this was even more confusing. he could see you were smiling. were you planning something? this had to be a prank. his face kept growing warmer by the second: of course you’d find cute pick-up lines to use on him. you didn’t even do this when the two of you started dating.
“if you were a fruit--”
“why are you hitting on me? we’re already dating.”
you had smiled to yourself again, that twinkle in your eye telling him that you were about to tease him again. yet when you looked up, you saw how red his face was getting. no point in letting this go to waste. “you’d be a fine-apple,” you finished.
and that immediately netted you jihoon whining at you with a quiet “stop, i’m going to die and then you won’t have a boyfriend anymore. do you want me to die?”
(... and of course, that meant you’d hit him with an angel-themed pick-up line minutes later after you found a suitable one.)
lee seokmin
"hey. are you a chicken?”
seokmin looked up from where he was sprawled out on the couch, scrolling through his social media on this lazy afternoon. he furrowed his brow, thinking over your words again. you knew as well as anyone else that seokmin wasn’t the greatest with stuff like horror movies. he clung to you the entire time you went to a haunted house with him, after all. “i--”
“because you’re im-peck-able.”
he snorted after a moment, already smiling. “ah--really? you’re hitting on me like this?” he paused after a moment. “... aren’t you tired?”
you giggled, “nope! i still have more--”
“because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”
immediately, you yelled before diving forward, burying your face in his shirt. “that’s not fair!”
he laughed, bringing you into his arms as he sat up. “joshua told me that one once,” he giggled, “and i thought i missed my chance to use it on you.”
oh, of course he wanted to use it on you. what a dork. at least he was your dork.
kim mingyu
mingyu had been in the middle of cooking dinner when he heard you come in. he called out to you, asking how your day had gone. you’d made conversation easily enough as you slipped out of your shoes and into your house slippers, making your way into the kitchen. you leaned against the counter, watching him drop long noodles into boiling water.
“gyu.” yet when he merely hummed in response, you called his name again until he looked at you. “are you parents bakers?”
he furrowed his brows. “what? you know what my parents do, we’ve--”
“because you’re a cutie pie.”
he stared at you for a moment, words sinking in before he threw his head back and laughed. the pick-up line wasn’t so funny as much as it was his love for you that made him laugh. mingyu was utterly and entirely endeared to you in every way, and that included laughing at your silly little jokes. before you could even try to say another one, he made his way over to you, pulling you into his arms and kissing you.
“you’re so cute,” he giggled.
“it wasn’t that funny, you know,” you wrapped your arms around him. you’d save the other pick-up lines for later.
he squeezed you tight. “it was. because it was yours,” he said, giggling again. “really... i love you. you’re so cute.” he let go of you, stepping back to watch dinner. “dinner should be ready soon, by the way.”
you smiled, leaning against the counter once more. “i almost said something about your cake, you know--”
(which only earned you him yelling, laughing a little as he did so. god, he loved you.)
xu minghao
minghao had called out for you to come in once he heard you knock on the door of his art studio, and he’d nodded to you politely as you came in. without thinking twice, he continued his work, now acutely aware of the audience he had. he didn’t mind working in front of you--he trusted you to know that art was a process and the vision truly came together toward the end.
“hao?” you asked, sounding genuinely confused. “did you do something to my eyes?”
he furrowed his brows, looking over to where you were standing. “no? is something wrong--”
“because i can’t take them off of you.”
immediately, all concern for you evaporated because he saw the way you were smiling, the way you barely concealed your giggles now that he was looking at you. “are you done?”
your smile faltered. “oh. sorry, are you busy? i didn’t mean to--”
he giggled a moment later, so soft and airy. you’d always told him he had a cute laugh. “you don’t have to flirt with me,” he said, beckoning you over. he leaned in, pressing a kiss against your cheek. “i’m already yours.” 
boo seungkwan
seungkwan had been sitting across from you, coffee sitting in front of him, as he scrolled through one of his social media accounts. he’d been looking for a specific post to show you, listening to you ramble on about your day as he searched.
“hey. do you have a name?” you asked all of a sudden, immediately earning a confused look from seungkwan. “or can i just call you mine?”
his nose wrinkled as he gave you this look of disgust. “what? we’re already dating. what are you talking about?” he paused, looking around. “is someone recording this?”
you just giggled, watching him. “did the sun come out? or did you just smile at me?”
seungkwan, who was very much not smiling at you, actually cracked one at that one. “really? should i wait for you to be done?”
“yes.” you glanced back down at your phone, “do you play soccer? because you look like a keeper--”
seungkwan grabbed his coffee, getting up to leave you there. he heard your “hey!” as he walked away, smiling to himself. all too soon, you’d chased after him, taking your hand in his.
“i’m done,” you giggled. “but you are, y’know. a keeper.”
“i know,” he smiled, squeezing your hand. “and i’m yours, too.”
he’d have to find a pick-up line to use on you later, just to give you a taste of your own medicine... you’ll just never see it coming.
chwe vernon
vernon knew you were up to... something. you’d been skulking around, this devious smile on your face as you wandered to and fro, giggling to yourself. at first, he thought this had to be some kind of ‘look at this costume i bought our child’ (your cat) deal, since that had happened before (which was why you owned a sonic the heggehog onesie for said cat). yet you had leaned over the couch, watching him for a moment.
“hey.”
he raised a brow. “hey?”
“if you and i were socks, we’d make a great pair.”
he rolled his eyes, settling back into the couch. “i think we’d have like. a sick pattern, too, actually.”
you pouted slightly, apparently not satisfied with his reaction. “if you were a triangle,” you said, recovering well enough, “you’d be acute one.”
he looked up at you again. “babe, i don’t remember geometry.”
“oh my god.” you buried your face in your hands for a moment. again, you recovered. “hey. what’s it like to be the most gorgeous person in the room?”
“i dunno,” he leans up, “what’s it like?”
you shoved your face into your hands again, letting out a groan as he laughed. this was what you got for leaving your phone open to a page of pick-up lines with a boyfriend who was more than ready to beat you at your own game. he’d only hoped you’d try to hit him with something like that last one.
“vernonnnn,” you drew out his name in a whine. “i hate you.”
he giggled, leaning up to pull one of your hands away from your face, and pressed a kiss against your cheek. “love you too,” he giggled.
lee chan
chan had been standing by the produce when you came back to him with the bread, setting it into your cart. he stood right where you had hoped he would be, looking over sweet potatoes since they were on your grocery list.
“hey. channie.”
he merely hummed in response, setting another sweet potato into the bag.
“if you were a potato,” you nod toward the one in his hand, “you’d be a sweet potato.”
he looked up, a little confused. “okay? thank you?”
“if i could rearrange the alphabet--”
“oh no.”
“--i’d put U and I together.”
chan let out a sigh, a smile breaking out as he hung his head for a minute. he looked at you again, still smiling. “are there more? i’ll wait if there are.”
you just wrapped your arm around his, pressing your side against his. “nope,” you said. “just wanted to see your face.”
he chuckled, shifting just enough that he could comfortably continue gathering sweet potatoes. “you didn’t put these on the list so you could use that line, right?”
“nope,” you hummed. “just seized the opportunity.”
he chuckled. “good to know,” he planted a quick peck on your cheek, still smiling to himself. at least he found you cute.
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taglist: @twancingyunhao​ @synthetickitsune​ @wonuziex​ @gyulbabie​
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lxclerc · 1 month
Text
𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 ─ 𝐦𝐯𝟏
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summary: where max verstappen is the subject of a love song from a singer who never writes love songs pairing: max verstappen x american singer!reader faceclaim: no one specifically but based off olivia rodrigo
note: me? writing max verstappen? smau fluff? on main? everyone look away.
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dailyynupdates
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liked by user33, user4, user16 and others
dailyynupdates yn was seen around monte carlo the past few days, taking pictures with fans and allegedly cozying up with three time world champion max verstappen
view all 104,210 comments...
user12 what is going on in the house of commons because this was the last thing i expected
user39 this is quite literally the most random pairing i've ever stumbled across
user91 how do they even know each other 😭 user63 right like...where did this even come from? how did it start? literally how did they meet? they could not be farthest apart in the sphere of famous people
user19 now who the hell is max verstappen and why is he with my wife?
user49 oh girl you have a lot to catch up on the max lore user71 max is a formula one driver user56 saying max is a formula 1 driver like he currently isn't dominating the sport to the point where people hates him saying he's making it boring since he keeps winning because he's just that fucking good that literally no other driver can keep up is kinda wild user10 oh so our girl's new man is good at his job user52 "good at his job might just be the biggest understatement of the century when it comes to max. man's a fucking beast at his job
user48 i dont have to see her with her ratty ex anymore omfg war is over
user93 dare i say...they're adorable
user82 yn being in an age appropriate, healthy relationship? i never thought the day would come
user74 we won for real 🥹🫶
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dailyynupdates
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liked by user23, user31, user69 and others
dailyynupdates max and yn in a video posted by yn's friend 😭
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user93 oh my god look at them 😭
user81 they look so in love i want to cry
user65 "maximillian, do i look pretty like this?" "you always look pretty" i couldn't quite catch what he said at the end but 😭😭😭
user85 dutch here and i believe he said "laiverd" which means darling user75 this means so much to me user65 you just made my entire week
user45 seeing her in love after all the shit men is healing a part of me i didnt know was broken
user53 max fixing her hood then kissing her cheek what if you just stabbed me
user31 every time i see these, i get the urge to take a shot of bleach 😀
sincerelyyn ✓
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liked by conangrey, maxverstappen1, taylorswift and others
sincerelyyn can't have a conversation if it's not all about you
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yourfriend as the other person of those conversations, he's fine i guess 😒
sincerelyyn you know i love youuuuu
taylorswift love seeing you happy ❤️
sincerelyyn ❤️❤️ user73 mother is all of us user63 you know it's real when it's taylor swift approved
conangrey i hate happy couples i hope you both trip 🫶
sincerelyyn die 🫶
user92 their friendship is everything to me
user15 not girlie trying to soft launch like we all don't know who it is 😭
user43 THEYRE SO ‼️🥵🥰⚠️
user65 you're so right
user24 i'm so happy finally seeing our girl happy 😭
user84 "someday i'll be everything to somebody else" YES YOU ARE BABYGIRL 😭
maxverstappen1
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liked by sincerelyyn, charles_leclerc, landonorris and others
maxverstappen1 my american girl 🩷
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charles_leclerc i still can't believe this is happening
maxverstappen1 for someone who don't even follow me, you sure are early to my posts 😒 user91 max gagged him with that im afraid
landonorris please please max talk to her about getting me tickets 😭
user85 lando is just like us fr struggling to get guts tour tickets maxverstappen1 no ❤️ landonorris 😔 sincerelyyn @landonorris let me get you in contact with my team 🤍 maxverstappen1 baby noooo sincerelyyn be nice, max landonorris HELL YEAH THANKS YN user42 this is the crossover i never thought i needed
user66 max posting non racing content and being all soft in the comments for yn in what world am i in
user52 fr i feel like im in an alternate universe 😭
sincerelyyn love youuuu
maxverstappen1 love you more
sincelyyn i never knew love could be so golden till i met you <3
maxverstappen1 mijn hele hart is van jou, schat (you own my entire heart, darling) user42 they mean so very much to me 😭
danielricciardo god the two of you make me nauseous
maxverstappen1 hating because you ain't us danielricciardo im not liking that attitude, kid 😒 user71 daniel is so us
sincerelyyn
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liked by maxverstappen1, taylorswift, yourfriend and others
sincerelyyn so american will be out on all platforms at midnight. a letter to the man i love, the only way i know how ❤️
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maxverstappen1 i adore you with everything in my being ❤️
sincerelyyn ik hou van je (i love you)
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i hope you guys liked this as much as i loved writing it 🫶
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