#i just did not see it until today
Note
the poem anon here, yup! i wrote it. i was in my ✨yearning hours✨🙃
i'm glad you liked it 😭
POEM ANON oh my god hi!!
okay im a nosy little shit so i must know the inspiration for it im genuinely intrigued by the lore (also im like mildly terrified because i read it and like, its terrifyingly accurate in some aspects of my own life i was like HOW TF WHERE WHY HOW)
#askies#poem anon#i also feel liek i need to extend a personal apology for how long this has been sitting in my drafts like i swear my dude#i just did not see it until today#deepest apologies
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journalists underestimate the magnitude of my addiction and how far i'll go for the bit
#snap chats#im lying i physically could not marathon this i got school LMAO BUT IMAGINE#my god speaking of school i signed up for a japanese history class. because of course i did#i also needed an extra class and i didnt know what else to put LMAO but i might swap it or somn#thinkin i should get back into theater..... i got like two months to decide anyway#i was thinking about how im gonna play IW during streams... if the lord will let me i might stream for 2~3 hours or so#im putting such a small time limit due to Aforementioned School but also idk if my computer can record any longer than that#when i tried saving the video to my flashdrive it only lasted about two some hours right ? maybe 3 if i remember right#i decided to record to my computer's hard drive instead of the usb since it has more space so maybe i can record longer#ill prob do a test run later today and record a nonsense video. i WILL delete it i just wanna see what the limit is#cause my plan is to just Record One -> Upload It -> Delete OG yk. Lazy Susan type of plan#didnt mean to type out my whole gameplan in the tags LOL BUT HEY I WANTED TO TALK BOUT IT AT SOME POINT#my final message is that ive Hopefully preordered the ichi statue. i say Hopefully cause i am once again doing it through jp rabbit#and i didnt get the confirmation it was successful yet so I Will Simply Wait.#point is it was a lot cheapter than i thought it was going to be <3 yay <3#ok im running out of tags tl;dr im gonna marathon IW until my eyes bleed BYYYE
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#YAAAAHAHHAAHAHAAAA!!! YOUUU thought the beginning of gen 5 would be SNIVY‚ did you?? well‚ you were MISTAKEN!!#if you want to see snivy‚ first you must take a spin on the ILLUSTRIOUS#V-WHEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!#victini#here we are‚ folks! the beginning of generation five‚ pokémon's “soft reset” as some folks call it#i dunno if it's true or not‚ but i do remember hearing that TPC attempted a bit of a reset with the pokémon franchise at gen 5#and it never really worked out. and that that's why you can only catch unova 'mons until the postgame#something like that. it's been a while since i heard the theory so that's just. like. what i remember about it#and i'm not gonna google it bc i am 1. lazy and 2. hungry bc i have not eaten today and it has been rough. so i'm going to eat something#after this goes into the queue. for reference it's like 8 PM
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Ok I just finished watching the eclipse (my first one!!!!!!!) and something I wasn’t prepared for was how disconcerting the lighting was!!!! It was still light out, but like the saturation and brightness were turned down and shadows were more pronounced and cast in odd ways. It felt very alternate dimension-like
#peak was 10 min ago#so cool!!! I’m so happy I got to see it!!!!!#I did wfh today even though I wasn’t supposed to just to see it lol#in my defense nobody will notice and also this doesn’t happen again until 2045
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! it's woodpecker!!
#🔪.photo#birds#woodpecker#hi i'm excited about this lol#i've. never actually seen a woodpecker before#okay technically that's a lie i did see one last month#but i didn't realize it was a woodpecker until today when i finally uploaded it to inat#but this! this i was able to identify as a woodpecker myself#i KNEW it was one#so i'm just !!!#i know this is probably a silly thing to get excited about. it's just a woodpecker#but it's special to me!
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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words can’t express how much i love him, his courage and fearlessness of expression in everything he creates is pure magic 🖤
#this is his day and he deserves ALL the love and appreciation in the world#what did i even do with my life before i found this man’s music??#at the time of posting i actually haven’t sat down and listened to omb yet because i’m still super ill with covid#and don’t want to associate miles’s new album with that lol#but the little cd/t-shirt/signed print pack arrived today and god did it cheer me up just seeing it#these photos from the booklet are just my absolute favourite 💗#i can’t wait until i’m well enough to listen to the album properly#i know it’s going to destroy me in the best way possible#i’ve literally been so excited for this moment for months and the singles off it he’s already released are some of my favourite songs ever#so so proud of him and everything he’s done to make this beautiful music and infinitely grateful to him for sharing it with us 💜#miles kane#one man band#lulu posts
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Life series!Desert duo but they’re the Milky Way-Andromeda galaxy collision
#what if we were fated to get closer until we collide#what if our closeness is our inevitable downfall#what if our relationship is a catastrophic event#I’m pretty sure the catastrophe is an outdated theory#and like the collision is just the two galaxies combining into one big galaxy#but idk man I think it’s very desert duo core#i just learned about this today lol#hoping the space hyperfixation mcyt fans see this because I wanna hear your headcanons so bad#even if you’re not I’d love to hear headcanons anyway#yes the Milky Way-Andromeda collision wiki is open on a different tab why did you ask#yes I’m writing this at 3am why did you ask#mcyt#life series#third life#desert duo#hermitshipping#scarian#grian#third life grian#goodtimeswithscar#3rd life gtws#i wanna tag space and the collision really bad but idk if space tumblr would appreciate having block game content on their dash#also for those who are scared of space#the collision won’t happen until billions of years from now#you’re okay you’re safe#the universe loves you
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today may be a weird day for this bc i'm HOPING there won't be much of a trash fire in the tag, comparatively, but if discourse, neg, or server happenings get you stressed, pro tip!! THAT MEANS IT'S DUOLINGO TIME!!!!! channel your gamer rage and viewer stress into SICK NASTY LANGUAGE LEARNING
#qsmp#i was getting too wrapped up in rooting for my team so i closed stream and did duo until the server closed#it worked!!!! lmfao it worked during the election arc too so hot tip!#also if you don't think you're learning anything try doing a jump ahead quiz and see if you can pass it#french and spanish have enough overlap that for the last three days i've just been jumping ahead one at a time#today was the first time i actually failed one so now i get to finally learn a conjugation i don't know!#instead of just. more fucking nouns. lmfao#shut up vic#block game brainrot
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Turns out my Mephisto foot fetish headcanon has been validated by life
#I had no idea this company existed until today#I just wanted to see if they’ve told us his birthday already#but one of the autofill options was mephisto shoe and I got confused#did I look that up at some point? did I need to know what his shoes looked like or something? but no#I didn’t remember doing that#turns out it’s just a shoe company#moss lover speaks#the fact that it says premium handcrafted shoes only makes it better
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also I had a breakthrough today that I had in fact overthought a Specific Problem to Death and that I had created a monster in my own mind and that’s why it felt like I was being eaten alive every time I tried to solve it.
#not to put too fine a point on it but that’s what happened with the whole is Maria going to become a nun question tbh#and I needed a counselor to say to me objectively and yet also crucially without any knowledge of me or my past:#you have overthought this and now you’re terrified of it#anyway it’s so obvious but it came home to me today. slowly.#like it was just like. Oh. You did it again#you’re terrified of this because you have thought of every possibility and every outcome and every twist and turn and shadow—-#until it has become a bloated demon in your mind that is totally separated from reality#while made up of real facts and details! and tbh I know it’s a common problem#but the anxiety chokehold I can put myself in is something that is so impressive and so disturbing#I can render myself absolutely helpless through the meanderings of my own thoughts#and what makes it worse—immeasurably worse—is that I get OUT of problems through careful thought and analysis#I’m programmed that way#so I can’t escape it by the usual means. I have to back away from the monster and see it and NAME it and then it can die away.#and only THEN can I apply my usual ways of going about things. I don’t know it just all clicked today#these past few days have just been bringing it all to a fever pitch for me#anyway I guess it’s also important to me that I still be allowed to be analytical about it!!! I have to use my brain!!!!!!!#in my desperation I have tried to shut it off to feel only with my heart. To try to catch the whisper of God’s voice in the wind#but tbh I am meant to use the gifts I have! But only in the right context#and that’s only after the demon has been killed or more accurately —deflated#my counselor has been so good about this tbh. she’s so matter of fact and blunt and salt of the earth and also she sees how my mind works#and wants me to be able to use it!!#so I’m just going to tell her that I did the bad thing with this other problem and can she help me find a way forward#ANYWAY THE MONSTERS TURNED OUT TO BE JUST TREES
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...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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home from work
#if I speak…#one of the girls walked out yesterday#the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already#they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time#micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts)#and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him#bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can#so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO#anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need#it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning#and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today#we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao#and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before#we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day#we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left#it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo#*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having#to wait a long time for their food#and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO#I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take#stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess#I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every#night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had#nothing to make the wraps with <3#I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap#and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used#they’re a fucking disaster like 😭#was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess#this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up#womp womp!!!!!!
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Receiptify Time!!! I was tagged by @raplinenthusiasts @epiphanytear and @sevencoloredstar to post my receipts from last month 🥰🥰🥰
Tagging @lauraperfectinsanity @summerwave @hopeinthebox @cosmicdreamgrl @cordiallyfuturedwight @lightedwindows @zerotolove to post your receiptify if you want 💗
#sorry if you’ve already been tagged i just love you all so i tagged you anyway#did i wait to post this until today so that love of a girl would be number one???#yes yes i did#it has been on repeat while i laugh and cry at the same time#the avett brothers are very close to my heart and make me think of my family and i know my dad would have loved that song#also i agree with that person on tiktok who said if you don’t like le sserafim’s easy than sorry you’re not a bad bitch#obviously completely obsessed#as you can tell by don’t forget me and love untold that i love feeling like i’m being stabbed in the heart as i listen to songs#i’m going to see enhypen in may so i have to learn everything about them before them#and lastly mic drop and wake up appear because i continue to share my spotify account with my 6yo#receiptify
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i hated airpods & phones with those big fugly cameras in the back when they were announced as a concept & i hate them even more each time i see that hideousness in person
#i remember when i was 11 ( sorry for being a zoomer ) getting into an argument with an online acquaintance#over airpods because i thought they were retarded but she thought they were cool as if bluetooth ear pieces were a new invention#remember how the world used to make fun of them not even that many years prior. she was like nooobut you can hide them for cheating#& against thievery ( OK the only fair point I GUESS ) but they are just so ugly to me & stupid not practical too easily lost & damaged#especially with that pricetag like they could have made something COOL or Kawaii but of course sleek Nothing design is “in”#still after a decade now ♯MAKEITSTOP#honestly only like bluetooth for file sharing when necessary anything else is devilwork#as for the new giant multiple cameras design i mean use your eyes has there ever been an uglier decision#even if i had money i could never own a touch screen phone without a middle button & a normal camera lense in the back#like just looking at them makes me angry BUT mostly apple products i think android ones are less hives inducing#but TBH i have no headphone jack so... on my old broken phone i did but not this one -_- where are my principles......#well i will wear this one down until it dies i already have a cracked arse screen so until it breaks i will downgrade#also remember how cute silicone phone cases were in the early to mid 2010s ♯BringThatBack#honestly can you even i think phones today are just too damn big Not mine Doe 🦌 mine is almost perfectly sized for my hands (iphone7)#at least people have more charms than ever in my city at least i see people with cute lanyards & zoomer style JesusBeaters so great ^_^#sorry for complaining all the time but also if you are not here for my Kvetching then what else could you be here for...#*jumps into a well from shame*
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What is a Monday? A miserable little pile of obligations.
semester turnover restructure
generate/send out error reporting
figure out how to separate out unique counts
create polite reply to Massive Dick Move email
finish the bad book >:(
bò kho (not an obligation. dinner)
laundry
lizard bath
#yapping tag#I spent my weekend trying to sleep and now all my chores are due today and I wanna complain. grump grump grump whine.#the semester turnover restructure actually is a pet project so that part I like! I wish I could take my time with it though#the error reporting is. well it's easy to generate (it's actually running now) and it's tedious but uncomplicated to send out#but then I'm going to spend the rest of the day getting passive-aggressive responses from everybody#in a just world my coworkers would respond to careful itemized lists of all their fuckups with 'thank you Alexis you're so helpful#we really appreciate you flagging our mistakes two weeks before the system final-saves them forever into stone. have a cookie!'#but alas#if I'd been any less stressed and frantic when I first established the error reporting I'd have set up a separate address to send them from#write up some template emails and let the reporting all come out of the mythical 'automatic system thing'#--every 'automatic system thing' in our college is me or IT on my behalf. even the people who hired me for this don't seem to realize#if only I'd known from the beginning that nobody would ever connect me and my systems! I'd be exploiting the shit out of it--#the unique counts is going to be a headache. no idea how I'm going to structure the coding for it. might be fun to invent? we'll see#the Massive Dick Move email response also will be an invention. 'hello Mr Massive Dick I am karma here to smite you' but polite#the bad book >:( I don't want to read any more of but the deal I made with my friend is he sends me free books and I report back#we did not discuss a special 'get out of book free' card for when the main character is a godawful shit sibling. (should've done though)#beef stew is good! mostly it's on the list so I don't forget to set the timers#laundry and lizard bath can wait until tomorrow if they must but they shouldn't wait any longer than that. lizard and I will get stinky
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