#i just can't get over the scene where everybody is coming at tom at all angles
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greg not only being tom’s attack dog, but his therapy dog, sheepdog, guide dog, watchdog, service dog
#tomgreg#just having a bit of fun with this episode :)#i just can't get over the scene where everybody is coming at tom at all angles#mirroring what he says at the beginning and he fully exposes how dependant he is on greg and how much he leans on him#and greg steps up and tries to corral the siblings bc tom can't breathe#and then tom begs him please PLEASE and greg tries to lead them all ESPECIALLY shiv bc he knows tom is vulnerable right now and#shiv is dangerous re: guard dog#ALSO THE NOPE YOU CAN GIVE IT TO ME BILLY I DIDNT NOTICE THAT FIRST GO ROUND#and tom looks and POSSIBLY smiles at him??? :(( sigh. he appreciates the readiness in which greg is acting in his side of the partnership#something tom hasn't really gotten before...... sigh. sigh#and the end like i Know it was for greg himself but it was for tom too i'm putting my foot down#especially with fry her ass up at the beginning here it's even easier to associate the two#plus the whole information is like fine wine etc etc. it was for himself And for tom#iwould go so far as to say Especially For tom. don't @ me
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Well the sun is wondering who it was picking the stuff up it doesn't look like Jeff. It's probably a regular Mac cuz they're sitting there threatening our son it's not going to go well for them and it's not really his house so they get that and there's another thing wrong with it we can hear them and they're in trouble. I'm going to go after the ones doing it just want to hear that stupid s*** anymore. And pretty soon they're going to figure out they shouldn't but it's too late by then. Now we're on to a lot of stuff you people sitting there frying yourself up to try and force you to do things kind of takes the own thought of it and our son is sitting there trying to survive while you're running around getting rid of yourselves and there's a shitload of you dying right now in Florida cuz you're opposed to the cleanup and they're going out there and protesting and they're sending huge trucks out because your protesting it's quite a sight okay you protest in 10 minutes later the truck's right there. It's a huge huge number of people wondering what's going on for real they're coming by and surveying see what else has to be removed and they're looking at the junk in the scene of some left and wondering why and it's a few things that people always miss is it looks like it's someone's stuff but he couldn't really tell I guess so on the radio telling him to come back and clean the place up and do a sucky job that's what they're doing and he didn't listen to the lady it's kind of a tough area to do it here and he is getting that. It's a warlock trying to say it's his portion and dumb s*** like that while they're hovering over all the major cities on Earth and they're going to get their asses handed to them I mean they're going to be dead very dead these little s**** are need to die they're so stupid and mean and crass I've never heard language coming out of anyone that sounds like them. And they get the living s*** kicked out of them they get up and they start doing it again. About 15 minutes Tom Cruise will start having his experience and everyone will see what it's like to be our son cuz he's Max are going to flip out on your retards especially Jason's group they're already going to town on them and you recharge out of these fangs people can tell who you are right away, that's a dumb lady who tried to run into him in front of all the cops. These people are very very dumb and they're very mean when they start issuing APB on people that they shouldn't and they're going to get nailed and Dan is thumping the Bible and not even correctly and we're saying this we are going to get you for it and you will feel bad and people are in route to meet you and luckily you put it on the TV so we know where you are and boy you people are getting really stupid thankfully
I was hoping that it would happen a little faster but it's taking a while for them to start reading probably 20 minutes no his moved in and they're going in after the stuff and they are going after the ships right now and they're taking a bunch it's a huge huge force of his I can see it's them top side. Is a massive number of them tons of them are getting shot but they're armed and yeah they k47s it's quite a trip seeing his little guys come up with it they don't hold it like the Asians do they shoot it and it sprays all over the place. The Asians hold it the hip it's a heavy gun and it can't take it you know something fired easily okay you guys are being a lot of trouble if you decide to get rid of you by hand few minutes she'd be gone but you just sit there saying you're invincible you don't see him kill you right now so we come by and we're much stronger and it's true it's been under the scrutiny for a long time and you're ridiculous but okay.
They're starting to look around and everybody is staring at stuff like up in the sky they can see the engine it's so close I can see the air churning and the lightning for me around it it's just one of the engines but he's got turned up he was heat because it's cold can hear them on the radio you're exactly how you idiot he says there's too many of them down there and it says they look like civilians and they're sending it up they look like civilians so they're arguing so it's in the movie they look like civilians so he assumes in and says oh and it slows it down turns it down and they're starting to hit and they're going to take a bunch of ships and it is going to be an event and there are several things happening in the neighborhood repetitively it seems that an old renter is going by every day slowly at first no it's Mercedes trying to figure out where to go it's going to be a hell of a day. And in moment so ship's going to break out moments for real I'm sitting by live. You see the Earth cracking in several places all over New Jersey the whole entire Island and Delaware and up north in Jersey in the swamp there's a giant number of cracks and sinking Earth the place is going to be a mess it's a huge storm you know so what happens hurricane heist same people we think. Tons of people looked at sugar tested it and it went all over the world kind of shows have been being stupid. And there is action all over the world now no but there are several hot spots we talked about there's a couple more besides Brazil and it's where the game is being held is Qatar there's a giant battle there and they moved one of the games believe it or not because Jason's refueling there with his oil and he's giving it up because you're trying to use uranium which will ruin the ships the huge number of people yelling at them stop bothering people in space. So horrible show those guys put on that's going on now and there's a lot of stuff happening here no they just barely cleaning the place up and getting back to work and it should sit in the fan it's going to be tough so he's going to take a restroom break
Thor Freya
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Hi! How are you?
First I wanted to say that I love your writing and I wanted to ask you if you could write something about Tom and maybe the boys reacting to the 34+35 remix mv please? It's okay if you can't
Thanks and have a good day or night 🙃
love youu <3
requests are open
—
“Didn’t Doja leak her verse a few months ago?”
You’re seated on a loveseat facing a large TV that’s planted on the wall. Harrison and Harry have taken the couch, Tuwaine sitting in an armchair after bringing out a few beers. Tom is rubbing the back of your hand and your knuckles with his thumb.
It’s release night. Again.
Tom won’t tell you why he’s so excited to see this music video, because it’s merely just another collaboration with powerful women. But, he loves your positions era. He loves how comfortable you are with being sexual in your music and in your videos. He also knows that the entirety of this video might just be you in lingerie, an opportunity he can’t pass up.
Currently, you’re watching your Q&A countdown, which was pre-recorded with Tom in the room. He’d nearly laughed a total of seven times during your takes. Needless to say, it took longer than expected to film.
“Did you go searching for leaked shit?” Harrison replies with a scoff, Harry’s eyes widening. Tuwaine and Tom gasp dramatically, and you try not to laugh at the encounter.
It’s a rule now, to not go online to find leaked content. Last time it happened, Harrison had stayed up until three in the morning searching youtube to win a bet. He’d lost miserably after the news broke that he cheated.
“No! But it was all over my timelin-”
“Yeah, sure.” Sam sneers at his twin, and they end up slapping each other on the arms. Tom chuckles deeply, the sound reverberating through the air, and you can’t help but join him.
Before you know it, the video countdown has officially reached zero, and your voice rings through the air. A scene is displayed on the television: you’re laying on a lounge chair by the pool, and suddenly Doja and Meg are beside you too. You’re wearing sexy clothes, and Tom just knows you’re powerful in this one too.
When the luggage carrier scene comes, you hear Harry gasp. You laugh at his expression, and you can tell he’s probably trying to focus on how the camera is moving and focusing, rather than the girls twerking.
“I cannot believe you actually got to sit on one of those things.”
“Yeah,” Harry agrees with Tuwaine, rolling his eyes. “Last time we tried that, we got kicked out of the hotel.”
You blink in surprise, but laugh nonetheless.
“This is- this is the scene from your Instagram post!” Tom cheers excitedly at the staircase scene where you’re laying there, just as you were in your pictures.
“Yeah.” You laugh.
“I can’t believe you got to work with the Megan thee Stallion.” Harrison gruffs in his seat as he watches her twerk again. You can’t help but laugh, but you have a surprise for him, so you won’t tease him too much.
“Is somebody jealous?” Tom grins, shoving his shoulder jokinging. Harrison grumbles a “no” in response and the two of you birth laughter, loudly.
To everybody’s surprise, Harry starts rapping with Doja Cat. He’s watching her, of course, but he’s hitting every word with a rasp in his voice. Tom’s jaw drops below sea level, and you laugh, still impressed.
“Damn, Harry!” Tuwaine raises his glass of beer. “Show off.”
Just as the verse ends, your hand comes into the shot, and you hear Tom’s breath hitch. You’re speaking into the call-machine, and the mention of baked Alaska makes him blush with a chuckle.
“I cannot believe you actually included that.”
“What was that?” Sam inquired.
“We were in a restaurant,” You started sharing the story, and Tom groaned in response. “And I was talking to the waiter about baked Alaska, but I'd obviously forgotten what it was called. And Tom was so sure he knew, that he yelled ‘baked Alabama.’” When you finished the story, Tom’s head was in his hands in embarrassment.
Your attention is turned back to the TV when Tom gasps. It’s the scene he’s most looked forward to: the bed & room service scene. You’re eating licorice and dancing on the bed while Meg sings her part.
Harrison points at the TV in shock when he sees you sitting on the vintage television. Harry’s mouth drops wide open when he sees Meg in the marbled bathroom. He’s internally freaking out, and externally getting redder by the second. You have a feeling him and Harrison are really big fans, so you make a mental reminder to give them their gifts later. You’d gotten them personally signed records, courtesy of Meg of course.
“Aww,” Tom pouts. “That was so cute.” He’s visibly softening as he watches you and Meg sing “34, 35 we can sixty nine it.” You giggle, head tilting in thought.
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He smiles. “You’re really pretty, y’know.” He’s cheeky but shy about the compliment, and you bring him closer for a goofy hug.
“That’s a lot of champagne, you know.” Sam eyes you and the TV with a knowing look.
“Yes, yes, thank you for hooking me up with it.” You give him credit. The chef of the family he is, so you were sure to jump at the opportunity for some local help. It made work during the pandemic a little easier.
“Yeah yeah.” He smiles, waving you off. You’re grateful, though, even if you play it off coolly.
“And thank you, mister.” You hug Tom tighter as his brows furrow.
“For what?”
“For telling me which set looked best.” You smirk at him, and he rolls his eyes.
“Don’t out me like that.”
“Gross.” Harry sticks his tongue out, sipping a beer in disgust at the couple.
“Don’t ‘gross’ me,” You sass him. “I have a present for you, but if you’re gonna be a brat about it-”
“No, no, no, no.” He rushes out, setting his cup down as he leans forward. “What’d you get me?”
“Well…” You reach behind you, grabbing a bag before two vinyls emerge. They’re the first and only copies, as you had not planned on releasing a vinyl copy for the remix. “They’re personally signed.” You carefully hand one to Harrison and one to Harry. Each has a message from both girls, and Harrison and Harry squeal in delight.
“Where’s my present?” Tom pouts. What comes next only makes him grow redder.
“I’m wearing it.” You smile cheekily. “Think you can wait a few hours?”
His eyes go wide as he nods feverishly. Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait too long.
#tom holland x singer!reader#tom holland x ag!reader#tom holland x famous!reader#tom holland x celebrity!reader#tom holland x you#tom holland x reader#tom holland fic#tom holland fanfic#tom holland imagine#tom holland oneshot#tom holland blurb#tom holland concept#tom holland smutty#tom holland fluff#tom holland drabble
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Long Nights - playlist
You can find it on Spotify here.
Eddie Vedder - Long nights
I’ve already talked about it in another post a bit, so--
For the first time, I had a full series figured out even before I started writing. All the arcs, main plot points, even the final conversation! I even had a 3h long playlist with all the songs that would come in handy along the way, but still, none of them was the one (so basically same thing that happened with Smoke series)
I started thinking about the main theme and/or drive for our new Reader, and then it hit me. There already is a story with that vibe, and it has such an amazing soundtrack.
So I opened Spotify and browsed through the album.
And I found it.
The overall mood was not something that was going to be helpful at the beginning of the series, but oh my, those lyrics were it for all the things I had planned.
//Have no fear
For when I'm alone
I'll be better off than I was before//
That’s R, all right. Not afraid to be alone, she prefers it. Nothing can hurt her, unlike when she gets too invested. Commitment issues and whatnot.
//Long nights allow me to feel...
I'm falling...I am falling
The lights go out
Let me feel
I'm falling
I am falling safely to the ground//
Knowing what I was about to put R through, this looks only fitting, don’t you think?
Chapter 1: Sigrid - Don’t kill my vibe
I could see LN!R so clearly. I wanted to explore some of my favourite rogue tropes, and she was perfect for it. In my head, she was definitely younger than the other two from my previous series. A bold type, a joker, but serious when it comes to her craft. Not with the same heavy emotional baggage (not at the start, at least - I felt like, opposed to Smoke!R who was more about distracting herself when she felt too much, our new R would be more about denial, or hiding her issues behind her jokes).
I found this song on some random playlist, and I knew it was her.
//You shut me down, you like the control
You speak to me like I'm a child
Try to hold it down, I know the answer
I can shake it off and you feel threatened by me
I tried to play it nice but
Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh
Don't kill my vibe
Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh
Don't break my stride//
To me, that was that moment she gets dragged into the car. Not having the obvious lies TP feeds her, definitely finding them all and the stuff they throw at her hilarious, calling them out on their bullshit without thinking twice over it.
//Guess you're surprised I'm the puzzle you can't figure out//
That got me an idea for part 2 and the coffee situation - come on, you know I can’t resist that trope when it comes to Neil, I think it’s an excellent way to get to know the characters a little bit and tell something more about the dynamic.
Tom Grennan - I might
To me, it’s another character introduction song.
//Oh I love, oh I love, love my freedom//
....you already know what I’m getting at, right?
//Don't want no one taking up my time
Staying on my mind, changing up my life
Don't want no one messing up my bed
Fucking with my head, it's no lie//
That’s her. R hates to be manipulated, that’s why she’s mad at Mahir. I didn’t want to put all the angst here, but I knew there was something deeper hidden there, after his comment about her trust issues. I didn’t know what exactly, but I knew it would come in handy later.
There was one spin on the story I was playing with - where she actually lets them all lead her on for a while, a whole elaborate ruse to get her invested and onboard, but that was a lot of drama quite early on, and I wanted this to be a lighter series (oh shush, I am well aware how that played out in the end, I tried, alright? Not my fault I apparently can’t come up with a story without sprinkling it with a shitload of angst)
//But when you look at me like that
I might//
See, this is when I stopped. I didn’t think R would be falling head over heels for Neil right from the start. That’s why the heart beating faster at the end of the chapter was supposed to be about the lock and something finally sparking her curiosity, taking her out of the boredom of everyday life.
Kings of Leon - Find me
That’s more chapter-specific.
//I really wanna know your name
See your face, know who you are, who you are
How did ya find me, how did ya find me?
What are you looking for, are you looking for
How did ya find me how did ya find me
Up in the shadow, picking up my load//
I found it quite fitting the moment R meets Neil again and he drags her to a back alley, and then again, in the car. She isn’t scared, more like fascinated, she finds the whole thing exciting, even.
American Authors - I’m born to run
Oh my god, the vibe of this song! This is that need for freedom and carelessness I needed to tap into.
//I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young
Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run
I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come
Do whatever I want like I'm born to run
I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo
I wanna be careless even if I break my bones
I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young
Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run
All these things I've seen and done
I live my life like I'm born to run//
The Pretty Reckless - Prisoner
Another random song I found one day while I was cooking breakfast. I was like “oooh, I dig that!” and then I listened to the lyrics and I knew I needed it for this story.
//You could have my body
But you can't have me
I know I'm a criminal
Don't you tell on me//
That’s it. Her. I knew that would be handy for the moment Neil breaks after all the teasing. And that criminal bit. I mean - come on!
Missy Elliot - Work it
(This is technically part 2 but it was messing with the flow on the playlist and I’m leaving it here)
Okay, this is quite meta and corny, because this is probably one of the oldest jokes you can find for Tenet, and I’ve been battling with myself if I should even put it here, but I referenced it in the chapter, so here we are. I’ve loved this song for years, and when I was trying to think what would R listen to while she tries to clear her head while she works on the bloody inverted lock - that was the only thing that seemed appropriate.
//Come on
Is it worth it? Let me work it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it
Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i//
...you see what I mean?
Chapter 2: Praise you
God, okay, this song - when I heard it while I was working on the story, it brought a movie-like montage of scenes in front of my eyes. You know the type, when they try to show you how the time passes, how someone progressively becomes better at something. That was Neil, working on those locks. R giving him tips, then teasing him. The way he loses his cool, only to slowly gain confidence, and then how she ups her game, both of them getting their bits of satisfaction from the whole game.
//We've come a long long way together
Through the hard times and the good
I have to celebrate you baby
I have to praise you like I should//
Have I ever told you when exactly I got the idea for the series? When I was writing that hostage situation fic and the moment R remembers her lockpicking sessions. I thought - what if it was the other way around? What if that was Neil who was about to start learning about picking locks?
It had so much potential for ✨hand content✨ and how could I resist?
...And I knew that R would see what I’m seeing, and she would rather like it. And the image of a very flustered Neil while she teases the hell out of him? Yep, yep, yep.
Sam Fender - Start again
This one definitely starts that montage as well, the repetition of going over and over again. Even if the whole song is definitely heavier than I needed, I decided to keep it, mostly for this part:
//Let's start again
Let's learn to talk
Without the fear of being heard
'Cause everybody's listening to everything and everybody
Let's pull the cord
Move below
Let's start again//
Chapter 3: Billy Raffoul - Difficult
Ah, Billy. And when I found this one, I got goosebumps, because I instantly knew that if I had to choose one song for them, it would probably be this one.
//You never get lost in love, you only get lost in me
You never can get enough of whatever you think you need
No matter how hard I try I never can beat this rush
Ain't nobody get me high, feel lighter when we touch//
This fits them so well, innit? We know how R feels about this whole love thing, she enjoys a good shag, and I had a feeling that after such a build-up, that night together would be something quite amazing, for both of them.
//We never get lost in love, we only get lost in sheets
You'd rather just shut me off whenever we get too deep//
That’s the moment when they have a vibe check in the morning. They had fun. Is it gonna affect their dynamic? They’re attracted to each other, they understand one another. Can they keep it casual? We know that R can, or at least she thinks so, but what about Neil? We know he’s a soft idiot, but I specifically imagined a bit younger version of him for this story - he had to be, if he was just learning about lockpicking. So the whole “no dating, just sex” could be fine with him for a while, but would he catch feelings anyway? Probably, yeah. And sooner than later.
//And now I'm standing in the rain
And your hair, it's falling in your face
And I know we're doing the right thing//
Not the rain, but shower, kinda works too, right? And I already knew that the rain would be a pretty important factor a little bit further into the story.
//But I can't help wondering, who will take my place?//
Ouch.
//On and off, difficult
Too in love to let it go
Now, who's gonna hold me like you do?//
The emotions in this bit, dear lord. It’s this high that takes your breath away, sweeps you off your feet, scorches the reality, and leaves no survivors.
That being said, I don’t think they are really in love at this point. They really care for each other, though, that’s where the softness comes from.
//Hmm who's gonna hold you like I do?//
I literally gasped when I heard that last line. Hits right in the heart, just as I like it.
Rhys Lewis - Waking up without you
There’s something in this song that makes it incredibly sexy. It was great for the morning after vibe, where they don’t really have enough of each other yet.
//Skin on skin
We didn't finish what we started
Heart to heart
I'm missing your love//
Keir - Probably
The way it flows? How powerful the chorus is? It’s heavy, hot, and just makes my heart beat faster.
//Colliding were the walls
And I forget where I began
I wish I could remember love//
Holy fuck. It always makes me think of something awakening deep inside R, definitely not ready to be acknowledged at that moment in the story.
//Probably underneath
There's a remedy
Possibly in the air
In the oxygen I breathe
Probably//
And this part is just mind-blowing. There’s this longing there, and if that feeling isn’t perfect for something more steamy, then I don’t know what is.
Dermot Kennedy - Glory
This one just… expands my heart? I don’t know how else to explain it. Especially the chorus. And then when I think of it in the context of the story, I somehow place it in TP’s office, when Neil gets all protective and doesn’t want to risk taking Reader on a mission where something can so easily go wrong, only because he isn’t prepared enough.
//A set of eyes had pinned him
Became his version of a kingdom
She's everything the devil can't be
When she's singing to me "Glory"//
Maybe that’s when he starts to realize that he cares more than he thought.
Rhys Lewis - Living in The City
If the previous song was Neil’s perspective, we’re back to R. Just look at the lyrics:
//I've been living in the city too long
I've been given everything that I've got
Been a sinner and a saint
Crazy, and sane
I've been living in the city too long//
We’re kinda circling back to part 1, that need to skip town, right?
//There's a part of my soul that wants to let go
Wants to just run away
But the rest of my soul says I should stay
I should stay//
And now we’re back when she can say that the mission is not her problem, she did the best she could, and TP can go fuck himself. Is it just that she feels responsible for her student? Or she likes him enough so she has to make sure he succeeds and comes back? Or she sees a friend in need, something to open, and doesn’t think twice about it?
Chapter 4: Bastille - World gone mad
God, do I love this song.
//So this is where we are
It's not where we had wanted to be
If half the world's gone mad
The other half just don't care, you see
You don't want to fuck with us
British to the very last
When it feels like the world's gone mad
And there's nothing you can do about it
No there's nothing you can do about it//
It felt so accurate for the part when R gets to see all that inverted reality? There’s a slight heaviness of heart there, and it matches the mood when she feels overwhelmed. On the other hand, there’s a bit of hope, the feeling of not being alone in this mad world, and that’s all that matters.
Who’s Molly - Touch the sky
Badass. Pure and simple. It hypes you up, brings a smile to your face, makes you believe everything is possible.
//We can never see beyond that horizon.
And no one knows this road and where it's going to lead.
But there's one thing, one thing that's for certain.
We'll make it through.
If you were here with me.//
That softer bit with inverted guns. And later on, throughout the chapter. They both find comfort in each other’s presence on the mission, after all.
//I wasted so much time trying to find a meaning.
I never looked up, couldn't seem to turn around.
And then you crashed in, and you gave my life a reason.
You pick me up, so high and my feet won't touch the ground, no no no.
Never would have thought I could win this battle.
I was left for dead, every hope in tatters.
We're going to set the world alight tonight.
Cause we can touch the sky!//
That’s the excitement and fun they’re having on the training grounds, not at all stressed about what’s to come.
//Close your eyes, free your soul.
You feel it, don't try it, then you’ll never know.//
Ah, and we’re here at my favourite reference to feeling something, thank you Mr Nolan, sir, so useful.😌
Dermot Kennedy - Young & free
Another one by Dermot Kennedy, and definitely not the last.
//All that she said to me stays with me, never to die
Held me brand new in the silence that went through the pines
Like I said already darling, I don't want you looking back at all the ghosts left behind
Know you'll stay near me so road remains hopeful this time
We were young
We were free, come on now, let it go//
The little whiplash in the mud, where they share a short moment, before they follow with the crackheadery, maybe partly to push back from coming close to something more meaningful. Because it’s there already, kindling, waiting to be spotted and recognized.
James Gillespie - Don’t let me get me
Okay, so - the original song by P!nk was always something that resonated with me, so when Spotify recommended that one, I was like “okay, I’m not sure why but let’s try it.” And then it brought me to that scene in the container.
//I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating//
To be honest, I didn’t plan on R to have such a strong case of a mean brain. It was supposed to be a lighter series 🙃. But as you already know, those characters have minds of their own, and it kinda sorta happened. I knew it would be more of a simple panic than full-blown panic attacks that haunted StuckIn!R, topped with pretty loud intrusive thoughts causing her to spiral, especially when she was exhausted.
Ruelle - Oh my my
Listen to that one and tell me you don’t want to go on a sneaky mission, I dare you. I even had it noted as my title song, but then I switched to Bastille.
//I can feel it in my bones, in my bones
Hear it rumble like a drum, like a drum
Like a vapor in the wind, in the wind
You never see us creeping in, creeping in
Oh my my, oh my my
You never stood a chance
...
Ready or not, here we come//
The vibe is just amazing. The low-key hype? Is that a thing? It must be. And those drums! Even quite fitting for a patter of rain, one might argue.
Speaking of rain--
Chapter 5: Dermot Kennedy - After rain
The title alone is perfect for this chapter, but the rest of it - my poor heart. This chapter and the finale have some of the most beautiful and/or heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever heard, and this one is definitely one of them.
//But it's alright because
You cause lanterns to light
And force demons disperse
And if Lucifer may fear the swift drying of tears
Then, for evil, you could not be worse
But I see you now, yeah, I see you
And release me now, kinda like dreams do
And I see you now, was hard to see you
Just don't forget to sing
Remember everything//
So we have Neil storming off from the bathroom because he’s clearly going through something. The immense guilt brewing inside him, overflowing and backfiring, when he can’t cope with seeing her so battered, knowing that she may never fully recover, and just because he hesitated out there. The fear is there, but also other feelings he tries to keep in check now.
I had that image of R asking him to stay, then just breaking down in the darkness. I was aware it would only add to the issues Neil already had, but it would be nothing compared to the fact that she needs him, and he’d be ready to push everything that bothered him away to comfort her.
Humming a lullaby that he promised her in the container. And R recognized it (kind of), because he used parts of it to plead with her to stay with him after the fall, so she could one day hear the whole thing, because she took that rain check and she needed to cash it in, right?
...yeah, I like breaking my own heart, why? (should I write that part one day?)
//If you think just maybe it's her
Then promise me, young man, you're gonna let her know
You won't go lonely, yeah
It'll all be better in the morning
'Cause while you sleep, I'll build a wall//
Aquillo - Six feet over ground
Whenever I hear this song now, my mind goes to that scene in the bathroom.
//Today's the day I found myself alright
When I look ahead, pretend it never came.
I found a way to keep my head above
But the hardest part is to say 'No it's not'
Well I'm okay, and I'm still breathing
I'm still six feet over ground
But you don't need to know now
You don't need to know how I'm doing//
They both hide how they really feel. That they are not okay. They’re both scared, blaming themselves. Reader doesn’t want to worry Neil too much, but she also tries to convince herself that she is fine. And a moment of peace they share shatters as soon as she downplays what happened aloud, and when Neil goes off, she hides behind yet another joke, and then behind a blindfold.
Aquilo - Silhouette
The one for when R tells Neil goodnight and then can’t fall asleep. //Devil's on your shoulder
Strangers in your head
As if you don't remember
As if you can forget
It's only been a moment
It's only been a lifetime
But tonight you're a stranger
Some silhouette //
When he comes to check in on her, and something feels off. She’s lost, yet finds enough strength to ask him to stay.
//Just hold me//
Nathan Ball - Drifting
//I can see in your eyes
When you lie awake at night
You convince yourself you're fine, it's alright
To keep on drifting
With the drugs keeping you high
They catch you falling from the sky
I keep asking myself why
You stand by
And keep on drifting
…
So tell me what you hold inside
Tell the backstreets of your mind
You're still lonely as a child
Teary eyed
Kept on drifting//
Knowing our Reader a bit longer by now, I knew what would happen if she was to be left alone with her thoughts, in pain, and with Neil being weirdly distant.
Have you ever lied in bed, crying silently, trying not to wake up the person next to you but getting absolutely torn apart by the sadness roaring inside you? It’s a different kind of loneliness, not helping in the slightest when you’re biting back sobs. Anyway,--
//So take my hand and hold on
Take my hand don't let go//
That’s something that happened almost organically with these two. Part of their language, hand touches as a sign of support.
I gotta admit, I watched Shadow and Bone already being in the middle of writing the series and seeing how overused the hand-holding flashback was... it there made me slightly cringe every time it came up in the story I was writing later on. On the other hand (hah), it was so them. It had to stay.
Dean Lewis - Need you now - Acoustic
//Cold light wakes me in the morning,
Your side is empty I was calling out to you,
I was calling out to you.//
That’s the next day after R’s breakdown, but check out the next lyrics.
//But I don't need your love,
I just need your
Talking next to me when I wake up, wake up
Talking next to me when I wake up next to you,
When I'm hungover too.
Cause you're the only one who comes when I'm lonely,
You're the only one who comes when I'm lonely for you,
When I'm lonely for you.
All that I need is a sweet escape,
And all that I need is a sweet escape.
...
Cause I don't need your love
But I just need you now
And I don't need your love
I just need you now//
This, y’all, is R, still convinced that it’s not about love, and it’s so perfectly put into words, but the music and the vocals are dripping with longing, making it even more spot-on for the occasion.
RHODES - Breathe
The emotions captured in this… holy shit. They clench my chest and make me struggle for breath. This could have been a song playing in the background when R wakes up from a nap to Neil having a breakdown of his own.
//Mind break in two,
There's a light in the sky, there's a light
And it's all for you
Dawn colors all
Tell me how do you feel?
Tell me how do you need to heal?//
Looking for his hand, only to find a clenched fist. And when she realizes he’s been crying and she hears how broken he is, that’s enough to make her heart shatter, doubly so because he’s agonizing over something she feels responsible for.
//Breathe, release it all
Come on now, I'll keep you warm
Come on!
Breathe, release it all
Come on now, I need your love
Come on now!//
To me, every “come on”, repeated with urgency, is how desperate she is to make him stop spiraling down when she kisses him, and then again, more purposefully, until he gives in and comes back to her.
Circa Waves - Fire that burns - Acoustic
The one for ✨the moment✨.
//Comfort me, oh comfort me
I'm lighting up
To see the day you run for me
You run for me, my love//
Because they both seek comfort in the act, two broken people mending whole in each other’s embrace. Ultimately, finding there something more, whether they are ready to acknowledge it or not.
//But I've been tied up
For days
And I've been thinking of the things that you say
And I've been wound up
Each way
I need to let you know, to let you know today//
Neil already knows how important she is to him. And that’s what he tries to say between the choked-out words, that he thought he’d lost his chance to tell her how much she means to him.
//You call me a liar
You call me so innocent
But you lit the fire
You lit the fire that burns
The fire that burns inside us
I'm not innocent
I lit the fire, the fire, the fire
I lit the fire//
Oh yes, that bit definitely seeped into the chapter.
The XCERTS - Feels like falling in love - alternative version
//Keep yourself safe, keep yourself safe she said
You broke your own heart but there's no need to lose your head
Keep yourself sane, keep yourself sane he said
You gotta give up, give up, give up the dark
To start again//
You can see it, right?
Outlining the whole story, I knew that part 5 would be the part when they fall in love, or realize that they already might be.
//And it feels like falling in, falling in love
Yeah it feels like falling in, falling in, falling in love
Could save me tonight//
The 1975 - Fallingforyou
//According to your heart
My place is not deliberate
Feeling of your arms
I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck
Don't you see me I
I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you
And don't you need me I
I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you
On this night, and in this light
I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you
And maybe you, change your mind//
They’re so vulnerable there. Everything Neil pours into the act sweeps R off her feet and she opens up and to let him feel the extent of how much she cares for him, unaware that it might be shifting into something from the territory she promised herself not to venture into. Because that’s not important then. Nothing else is. Just them. So simple.
Adam French - Weightless
The light and softness in this song remind me of another Weightless I used for the finale of the Smoke series.
That’s the moment after. Softness. Closeness. Bliss.
//I told ya that you were the only weight on my shoulders
You see you're gonna make it alright
How you're gonna make it alright
When you're gonna make it alright, alright, alright
You say your body will
You say your body will
Hold me in the night
...
Only you can make me weightless
...
Closer is all I ever wanted to be
There for ya so you can be confiding in me
There to break the fall
Here for everybody to see
Weightless after all//
Chapter 6: Declan J Donovan - Perfectly imperfect
I had the moment they fall in love. I knew how it was gonna end, the conversation with Mahir and how it goes from there. I thought that we need some calm before the storm that was bound to happen, and what’s better than a little domestic fluff? A time when they can see each other in a different setting, get to know one another even better. Fall even harder.
And my god, this song.
//You live like you're a secret
One that only I could know
'Cause I said
You know what I want and
I know who you are
I know when I hold you and love you
You'll get up and go before you fall apart//
...that last line hits different when you know what’s gonna happen later, right?
//I'll bring you every colour that I find
In your eyes
You wake me up
And it breaks my heart
That you're perfectly imperfect
You're hurting but you're worth it
You don't know why
I would waste my time
But I'm falling and I mean it
I want you like I need it
There's nothing you could try to change my mind
'Cause I'm in love
So call me when you want me and I'll come running
Find me waiting at your door
So tell me if you're lonely and it won't last long
'Cause I'm in love with you (you)//
That light when the song gets to the part about being in love -- there’s so much tenderness there, and it resonated with the story so much. And the perfectly imperfect line, so so good.
Bastille - Survivin’
The way the song swings and the hopeful vibe is just what I needed for this chapter.
//And I'm not gonna lie
Say I've been alright
'Cause it feels like I've been living upside down
What can I say? I'm survivin'
Crawling out these sheets to see another day
What can I say? I'm survivin'
And I'm gonna be fine
I'm gonna be fine
I think I'll be fine//
As much as Reader didn’t want Neil to be there with her for so long, she really enjoys his company, making the boring and still rather painful recovery period easier.
Ella Henderson, Tom Grennan - Let’s go home together - stripped
Ha, this one! The humour when they tease other words always brings a smile to my face. That playfulness just fits our duo’s dynamic so well.
//Maybe you'll like me the way I am//
Crazy concept, right? And with Neil learning to spot the times when she hides behind a joke, and still being there--
//Feels like I know you so well
You could be everything that I've been missing
I'm coming out of my shell
And I never do that
How did you do that?
It's like I've known you my whole life//
That’s exactly how she feels like. She intently doesn’t think about it though, because if she starts overthinking it… we know what happens. She’s allowing herself to be in the moment, however. And happy.
//You seem like someone I could be myself with, no defenses
Maybe you like me the way I am//
That brings me to all Neil’s animated rants, and how much he appreciates that she always listens. He feels accepted, and I don’t know, it melts my heart a little.
//Baby, I'm in love//
🙃
INXS - Need you tonight
I know I used a cover of this song for another playlist, but the vibe was so different, and you just have to bear with me. It’s one of those songs that sparks the ideas and images, and usually, they involve Neil being a tease and having way too much fun. And as I was plotting the chapter, I thought of R missing out on his shenanigans, and how he could make her see what he was doing, and 😳 oh my. I knew the imagination would run wild. (That definitely might have something to do with a certain scene from a certain movie and a conversation I had with M about how Neil would handle it)
//So slide over here and give me a moment
Your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know
I've got to let you know
You're one of my kind
I need you tonight
'Cause I'm not sleepin'
There's somethin' about you, girl
That makes me sweat//
That’s one sexy song, don’t judge me.
Dermot Kennedy - Days like this
Oh, would you look at that, it’s Dermot again! This one is for that scene on the balcony.
That quiet contentment, like everything fell in its place and life is alright.
//When it's not always raining, there'll be days like this
When there's no one complaining, there'll be days like this
When everything falls into place, like the flick of a switch
Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this
When you don't need to worry, there'll be days like this
When no one's in a hurry, there'll be days like this
When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss
Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this//
They’re in the moment, comfortable in the relationship that blooms between them. More casual and laid-back throughout the day only to get more soft and intimate in the evenings, when the inner demons’ voices grow louder.
James Bay - Chew on my heart - acoustic
The way the chorus explodes? It makes me beam widely and my heart is about to burst.
//Take your time
I'll be right here
I know no one could ever love me better
Take all night
You're the truth that
Is breaking me and keeping me together
Together
I wanna be in your touch
Sleep is so tough
You're burning up my mind
What would it feel like if you tore me apart?
Come on chew on my heart
...
I'm on fire
I'm a hot mess
I'm thinking things that I might start regretting
So hear me out
I need you now
I'm spiraling
I'm sinking down
Look for me I'm sending up a message
A message//
I think it weirdly fits those times at night when Neil checks the bruises. When their minds wander to that first evening, and they still feel bad about how it ended up, the closeness brings them back to the present and grounds them.
Picture This - Unconditional
This one just makes my heart sing.
//This magic, I don't know what it is but we have it
Even when we're sleepless and damaged
I don't doubt it
We're holding on//
That’s exactly it.
//Baby I wish we could take this feeling
And put it away somewhere safe
'Til we need it
Unconditional
I'm so afraid of losing your love//
They don’t need big words. But they feel it, all right. Whether they are aware of it or not. And they are afraid of losing each other, now that they know how easily that could happen.
//Shivers running down my back with your fingers
The smell of your perfume it lingers
And whispers
What I want you to say
Under your skin, underdressed under covers
We bring out the best in each other
Two lovers finding our way//
The kiss, the touch, the skin on skin contact - some of the most powerful reminders that, for now, they’re safe.
BANNERS - Start a riot
But it’s not always about going all the way, because sometimes you just need to be held. And this song just speaks to me of all that tenderness, all the feelings clenching the heart so much they’re unable to say a word, just want to keep each other as close as they can. Just to make sure they’re really there.
//I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm
No surrender, no retreat
I will tear down every wall
Just to keep you warm
Just to bring you home
I will burn this city down for a diamond in the dust
I will keep you safe and sound when there's no one left to trust
Will you take my hand?
We can make our stand
If your world falls apart
I'd start a riot
If night falls in your heart
I'd light the fire
In the dark, when you sound the alarm
We'll find each other's arms
For your love, all you are
I'd start a riot//
The lyrics are so beautiful, and there’s so much longing there, and the promise to protect each other, to be there for each other, to face whatever life might throw their way together.
Yeah, it makes me emotional, I absolutely love it. Speaking of emotional--
Chapter 7: Stone Sour - Wicked game - acoustic, live
When Spotify recommended this one to me, I almost skipped it. I’ve heard it a million times in different versions and I thought that there’s nothing to be found there. Oh, was I wrong.
I knew what was going to happen in the chapter - Mahir is about to confront R, surprised by what he sees. And he can clearly recognize that they’re idiots in love, even if they’re trying to lay low in the company. He knows what happened to R, why she’s so cautious and reluctant when it comes to any relationships that are more than simple hookups.
//The world was on fire and no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you//
Because that’s how it started, right? With desire. One could argue that our duo had solid banter before that, respect and understanding, all those things, sure. But ultimately, that was all that sexual tension, sparked by the playful teasing, that pushed them into each other’s arms in the first place.
//No, I don't want to fall in love
With you, with you
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you//
And when Reader finally lets the thought in and it dawns on her that she is, in fact, in love - she goes into full panic. Not because she feels it’s unrequited, god, she’s not stupid, nor blind (too soon?). But she’s mad at herself that she allowed this to happen. She’s afraid that she’ll get hurt, and to avoid that, she has to run away. And that’s gonna hurt Neil as well, and she can’t stand that, hates herself for that, but she’s so scared that she can’t think of any other solution.
Before we get to that, however, there’s a bit more softness to be shared.
Lewis Watson - Little light
//And all this shade is, illuminating
And all those love lines, are taking shape
And all my worries, disintegrating
And I've been waiting, I've been waiting
And all my days were young and wasted
When I was waiting, oh for you
And all the plans that I've been chasing are always fading
But ever since I found you
A little light is breaking through//
Gotta admit, I had this one hidden in the playlists of other chapters, because it captures that feeling when your chest is filled with light and you’re simply happy. It ended up here, because it’s this feeling when R is melting a little inside when she looks at Neil, when she’s in his arms. And how Neil feels, too.
X Ambassadors - Renegades
Funny, I had this song for both times the team appears in the story. There’s this sense of camaraderie to it that I wanted to capture, when you’re with a bunch of people who are like family to you. You can tease them all you want, but at the same time you’d go into battle with them, knowing that you can count on them to have your six.
//Long live the pioneers
Rebels and mutineers
Go forth and have no fear
Come close and lend an ear
…
All hail the underdogs
All hail the new kids
All hail the outlaws
Spielbergs and Kubricks
It's our time to make a move
It's our time to make amends
It's our time to break the rules
Let's begin//
I wanted R to have a taste of that. To let her know that she’s appreciated for helping with the mission. To get to know them all better, and to make amends with TP, of sorts.
I didn’t want to make his motivation clear. He wouldn’t tell her that he knows how the story ends. That he can’t help that, deep down, irrationally, he made her responsible for it. Even if she’s not the one to blame. (And I don’t believe he let’s that happen, in the end, because that’s too much angst, even for me - again, fuck you, Mr Nolan, sir)
Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, Scott Reeder - From can to can’t
Christ almighty, this one is so raw! The emotional progression in here just blows my mind.
//Under the water
It's cold and it's grey
My torrid autumn
Another season decays
Open up the Hollow
And my walls come down
I tell you it's a problem
Just when no one's around
But then
I know what's wrong
God, you complicated everything
I know you're gone, gone, gone
This is where I will draw my line
I will draw my line//
To me, it’s the scene with R having a breakdown in the bathroom, and then somehow finding the solution. She has a plan, and enough strength and determination to pull through, at least for a moment.
Chapter 8: Dan Owen - Hideaway
I found this song by accident, and I almost screamed at how perfect it is for the finale (and then screamed for the second time when my dearest friend @connie-nikas casually sent me this exact song one day saying that it sounds like something I’d enjoy). The intensity just tears your heart out and makes you struggle to draw a breath, there’s something desperate to it, and I knew that it would be my go-to song for the part where R sleeps with Neil, trying one last time to drown all the pain and sorrow in his closeness.
I could just paste all the lyrics, to be honest, because that’s exactly what’s happening in the scene.
//It's a long way down
I keep backing away from the edge
And it's a slow burnout
Like the fires that rage in my head
And it's a slow cry out
When you've got so many tears you could die
And it's a long time to wait
When you take all my tears away//
Oh, she’s on the verge of tears, all right. Knowing quite well that as soon as Neil picks on them, he’s gonna stop to make sure she’s okay. That once he starts asking questions, she’s gonna fall into pieces, unable to lie to him.
//My body is colder
Time is frozen
All these feelings have poisoned my soul
And in silence no I can't stand it
Please break these chains and hell I can
Hideaway//
She’s scared that if she’s left alone with her thoughts, they will break her and make her stay. What she fears most (besides that she’s gonna end up betrayed, alone and heartbroken) is how Neil’s gonna react to her actions. The last thing she wants is to hurt him. She just hopes that maybe if she leaves now, it’s not gonna be as painful as it would be if she stayed a bit longer. That maybe he’s not fallen in too deep.
//You're my one way out
And my tears won't save me now
Save me now
I can't stand it
All this loneliness I feel
I can't do this alone
I need someone to remind my feelings
That I've fallen down by the door
It's a long way down and my tears won't save me now
It's a long way down
I keep backing away from the edge
And it's a slow burnout
Like the fires that rage in my head//
Macy Gray - I try
One of the first songs that came to my mind when I was composing the playlist for the series. It may be a tad too upbeat for my liking, hah, but parts of the lyrics are spot on, and it had to be there.
//I try to say goodbye and I choke (Yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke (Yeah!)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near//
It makes me think of the time when they’re in the car. She’s going over the plan, kinda skipping the moment she’d have to say goodbye to Neil. That’s the unbearable part. And when he asks an innocent question and touches her, she crumbles and jokes. Partly to distract him from prodding further, but mostly to distract herself. I didn’t plan on them getting all worked up there, it...happened, but I figured it made for a decent ground for what was about to go down in the hotel room.
Belle Mt. - Hollow - acoustic
//She told me she was hollow
That's far from what I see//
That feeling you get when everything is too much and it leaves you hollow because you can’t take it anymore. A safety mechanism of sorts. It kicks in with Reader, and of course, Neil can sense that something is off. He hopes it’s just her being tired, he knows how she feels after spending too much time with people.
//I told her she was special
She almost let me in
But she couldn't bear the thought of digging up the heart that she's been burying//
We already know it. The thing is - Neil doesn’t. They haven’t really talked about it. Well, they did after the first night, but with all the things that happened later… and with how much affection she shows him? He doesn’t have a reason to suspect something this big.
//Lonely is her favourite
If only I could change it
If I could only save her
But sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken
Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open
Sometimes she's stone-cold, times she's on fire
Mostly she's everything I desire
Lonely is her favourite place to be//
Galleaux - Tether me
I had it on repeat when I was writing that part when R collapses in Neil’s arms when they’re in bed. Did I mention that I didn’t want Reader to be this emotional in the first part of the chapter? I thought she’d be more distant. Numb, even, here and there slipping up but holding it together until the very end. And then she does that. But it was Neil’s reaction that left me all 🥺. Not only me, apparently, because she let out so much there. I think my heart broke a little when she gave me that make love to me/love me/ never let me go part.
//In this space, do I belong?
It's dark out here in my own thoughts
Pull me back, out of my body
I'm tied to my limbs
They're spinning me out of control
Tether me//
And the way the music builds up only to blow up at 3:11, heavens, and those vocals! It just takes my breath away, fits so well there.
Nothing But Thieves - Lover, please stay
There can’t be a series playlist without Nothing But Thieves! And it’s another song Chels sent me. The way it broke me-- bloody hell. It’s that gentle guitar, it’s the raw emotions in the vocals, and those lyrics! It rips my heart out, in the best way possible.
It’s for that part where Neil falls asleep and R breaks down, fully realizing what she is about to do.
//Lover, I know you're weary
Eyes are tired from the night
Lover, come to the kitchen floor
Tiles are cold, so am I//
You bet your ass she’s having flashbacks to those moments on the cold tiles, but in her bathroom.
//Lover, I feel your sorrow pouring out of your skin
And I don't wanna be alone
If I am tonight, I'll always be//
Lonely might be her favourite place to be, but losing Neil by her own decision hurts more than she thought possible.
//So take from me what you want, what you need
Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need
But lover, please stay with me, oh//
You know what’s the worst, though? As if that scene was not heartbreaking enough, my brain decided to remind me how much it parallels part 7 from Stuck in reverse. Yep. ✨Pain.✨
Foo Fighters - Home
When she walks to her apartment. Crying. Broken. Missing him already.
//Wish I were with you
But I couldn't stay
Every direction
Leads me away
Pray for tomorrow
But for today
All I want is to be home//
About to leave for good.
This is the bit that prompted the final conversation. What even is home to her? Living the way she does, it never was something important. I struggled with that idea, I thought it’s too sweet. But Neil, the stubborn ass that he is, didn’t want to give me anything else, so it stayed - and in the end, I’m happy that it did.
BANKS - Someone new
Okay, this one is perfect with its sadness and longing, but it’s a hit and miss when it comes to lyrics. Take a look -
//I can love you desperately
Though your love ain't guaranteed
Oh, I wish you knew the deal
Gotta learn from far away
And I simply needed space
Space for me to be
And I think you need it too
Though I know you call me selfish for assuming
I did this for you too//
This, this, all of this! You see it, right?
//Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you
Don't know what else to do//
Well, one could argue that they could just talk it through without all the drama, but hey, where’s the fun in that? And running away really seems like the best option to R.
//And please don't fall in love with someone new
I promise one day I'll come back for you//
And here it’s off because I don’t think she plans on going back. So she wouldn’t want him to not fall in love with someone else, because why would she? He deserves to be happy.
//Oh, you say you hate me now and you burn me with your words
Calling me a fool
Saying that I've fucked up everything
And you'll never forgive me//
See, I have a few options for what to do when Neil finds her at the riverside. I knew one thing though - it would never be a full-blown argument and accusations. At first (and when I say first I mean before I actually started writing chapter 1, because I already had the last scene plotted out by then), I thought Neil would be calm, with a kind of “I know you love me too, silly, so what on earth are you doing?” vibe to him, to R’s annoyance. Then, the story became heavier, and I knew Neil would be worried. Lost. Confused. But never to the point of losing his temper, not after that one time in the bathroom. And that’s what happens in that scene. He doesn’t know what to do as he tries to make some sense out of it all.
Agnes Obel - Riverside
//Oh my God I see how everything is torn in the river deep
And I don't know why I go the way
Down by the riverside//
As I mentioned, I knew what I wanted for the final confrontation from the start. That’s why I tried to make that river quite important for both of them, weaving it into the story here and there. That’s why they instinctively go there.
Billy Raffoul - Dark four door
There’s this sad acceptance in this song that just breaks my heart. It makes me think about the moment when Neil wakes up and sees that she’s gone. How he doesn’t know what’s going on, and how his mind slowly connects all the things that felt strange, but he’s unwilling to accept it until he checks Reader’s place. And much it costs him to keep it together when he sees that the bag is gone.
//You got up, you felt you should
I keep trying to myself I would've done the same had I could
I never thought that you would//
Chris Cornell - Before we disappear
Whenever I hear this song, I think of Neil standing there with Reader, hurt, trying to understand what went wrong.
//So how hard can it be to share your life with me?
How hard can it be to rise with me each morning?//
Dermot Kennedy - A closeness
The last one by Dermot. If that isn’t their conversation--
//Keeping her bright eyes focused on the coastline, waiting for you
Isn't she all of us pining for that last kiss
A permanent truth, a means to get through//
Why does she stay up for so long in their spot? Does she subconsciously count on him to show up? Unable to let go, once and for all?
//Deep into the night, eyes closing
Heart swollen with my loving for you
A solid embrace, kind face
And then the hurt starts leaving the room, followed by goons
Sometimes it's open wide and lights the road at night
You've got a heart like the moon
Gather courage, if you're doing something, do it
'Cause she got to go soon//
And when Neil sees her, he wants nothing more than to hug her, he’s so relieved. But then she snaps at him, and he can’t believe that she’d actually think that he planted a bug on her to track her. It’s another wound he didn’t expect, but he waits for her to explain her actions before he lets out how much it all affected him.
Ryan McMullan - Outcry
I was close to making this one a title song for the chapter because as Hideaway sounds like it was written for the time they make love, this one is for the time Neil asks why she left.
//You came a long way to see me
So don't you run off, baby stop pretending that you're fine
What's the point that you're making
Tell me what it is that's going 'round inside your mind
If in doubt, don't fake it
I have known you long enough to know that you can't lie
If you're in love don't be ashamed of it
'Cause even angels fall for demons//
God, of course he saw that she wasn’t alright that night, but she seemed so sure about what she needed that moment that he decided not to push her - they had all the time in the world, he could ask her about it in the morning, right?
And Neil knows when she’s hiding behind jokes. That’s why he doesn’t want to play her game when she deflects what he says about the way she was in bed. He wants her to be honest. Especially since he knows what he saw in her eyes, in her actions, when they were together, and he’s sure it all must have meant something to her.
//I've heard stories, but they're jaded
So give me something more
I only know what I've been told
But I can tell that you're frustrated
And I won't ever pry, I'll only be a hand to hold
If you tell me you're hurting
I'm hurting too, yeah
Don't tell me you're fine - unless you're fine
I'll wait for the outcry
Whenever there is something weighing on your mind//
And Neil knows he can’t pressure her, that’s why he just stands with her and waits. Sweeping his mind over and over again for anything that could have prompted this whole mess.
//If you feel like leaving
Then maybe it's for the best
Or if you feel like you've given in
Oh, give yourself a chance
If you feel like crying
Oh please don't hold it in
If you feel like reaching out oh
Let me in//
His heart is aching when he hears her reason why she feels like she has to leave. That’s when he touches her. To pull her back from her head to something real. To remind her that nothing has changed. That he’s there, and not going to let her go that easily. That he loves her, because he needs her to hear it, so she knows for sure. And when she tears up, there’s only one desperate plea in his mind.
Gavin James - Hard to do
One heavy hitter after another, and this is another killer. The longing in Gavin’s voice clenches your chest and you just want to hide in somebody’s arms.
//Oh, I've been thinking that I don't wanna leave
This house isn't home to me
I'm tired of losing everyone I see
Now that you're here, it's a hard thing to do
Trying to hold on//
Does she really want to leave? She feels she has to, but god, if only she knew for sure her heart is safe, she would stay with him forever. The problem with life is - you can never be so sure. And when Neil shows up… it takes everything, even unreasonable anger, to keep her together.
//Maybe I don't believe that I don't wanna run
But two hearts are better than one
You say you'll stick around but I'll be gone
Oh, I'll be gone
It's a hard thing to do, trying to hold on//
Reader knows that it’s gonna be nearly impossible to walk away now. And she’s afraid.
//Oh, but I need you
Far more than I ever want you
It's such an unnatural thing we do
When falling in love's just so hard to do
Hard to do//
She can’t bring herself to look at him after she tells him what’s going on with her. But when Neil touches her and takes her hand, she can’t keep it inside anymore. Then he tells her that he loves her, and everything floods her at once. Fear. Guilt. Love. All that combined with his simple plea is enough to finally make her give in.
Damien Rice - I don’t want to change you
I had it on repeat since the moment Neil touched her. The softness of what happens there, melting the barriers once and for all.
//Wherever you are
You know that I adore you
No matter how far
Well, I can go before you
And if ever you need someone
Well, not that you need helping
But if ever you want someone
Know that I am willing//
He’s there for her. Always has been, always will be.
//Oh, and I don't want to change you
I don't want to change you
I don't want to change your mind//
Here. I think that’s what is really important about them and their relationship.
//I've never been with anyone
In the way I've been with you
But if love is not for fun
Then it's doomed
'Cause water races
Water races down the waterfalls//
Lucy Spraggan - Run
Ha, this kinda feels like an end-credits song, don’t you think?
//I just to run to the end of the world
Just to see if it's possible
I don't care what I've been told
I want to run to the end of the world
I'm going to run,run,run
Bye bye problems
Run 'til the road hits the sea
You better run,run,run
If you want to be free//
Granted, she didn’t run off without Neil, but found a way to run with him instead. There’s that heart-bursting light and freedom in this song, I think it captures that happiness they found, working it all out in the end.
//I wanna feel invincible
One more mile out of principle
I want to see the whole damn world
One cross road can change it all//
Travelling the world. Doing what they like most. Together.
------
Quite a journey that was.
Thank you all for taking it with me.
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Rich kid! Peter Stark Au
Warning: Smut, swearing, jewelry fetish (?), dom! Peter parker slight bdsm (bondage) orgasm denial, over stimulation, bullying
Requested: No. Please do send in requests.
Pairing: Peter Stark x Reader
Summary: Peter gets fed up with the bullying then reveals a fantasy.
(Also why is this scene so hot? Like??? It's illegal to look hot that much okay Tom?)
Peter would never be one to show off his wealth, he was humble, a trait his father was proud of yet confused by.
All his life Peter had every thing he could ever want and need and Tony made sure he was well loved as well and yet Peter didn't like showing off or even making it known that he was rich but there would be times when Tony knew the Kid felt a little more confident than other days it usually happens when something good happens like when the two of you started dating, the next day Peter wore a limited editon Gucci jacket he was aware of the stares and he loved it.
Peter usually doesn't splurge but whenever he gets the chance to give you something he would always go all out.
His first gift to you was 3 months after you started dating, he'd gotten you a diamond ring and you stared at him in shock
'Peter, I love you with all my heart but I really don't think we're ready for that" you say nervously
"What?" He looks at you confused then looks at the ring again and realization dawns on his face and he laughs
"oh baby, I'm not proposing" he chuckles slipping the ring on your ring finger
"Not yet at least. This is a promise ring" He smiles at you.
"A promise ring? Peter this must have cost you millions how much even is this?" you were scared to even find out the numbers behind the expensive ring sitting on your finger
"Babe, don't worry about it, this is nothing. I only want the best for my girl." He smiles at you and as much as you want to melt right there you were still concerned about him spending so much money on you.
"Baby, really it's no problem, please just accept it?"
After that the gifts seem to only go up in price from dresses to shoes and bags and the only time he gave you a gift that was below thousands of dollars was a photo album that he put together of his favorite pictures of you since he loved to take pictures and he made a scrapbook out of it and gifted it to you on your birthday.
Today was one of the days when Peter felt a little confident, you knew because he used his favorite Balenciaga shoes and you can smell his favorite Valentino fragrance on him. He greeted you with a kiss as he walked up to you a smile never leaving his face
"Well hello sunshine, what's got you in such a good mood?" You greeted smiling widely at him
"Nothing, I just finally finished the project I was working on down at the lab" He answers smiling even wider than earlier
He always felt a little more confident whenever he finishes a project, he feels accomplished and thus trigger his 'Stark!' side.
"Well congratulations, tiger. I'm very happy for you." you said smiling brightly at him
He takes your hand in his and your knuckles before walking you to your class. He waves as you go in and heads to his class
You meet again later at lunch where you eat with him, ned and mj at your usual spot. You were all discussing plans of going to Peter's place for a movie night in the coming weekend when Flash walks up to your table
"Sup Penis?" He says with a smirk
"What do you want, Flash?" Peter replies flatly
"Well I just wanted to say hello to lovely (y/n) over here" He says eyeing you.
"Well you've said it, can you go now?" You ask sharply
"No need to get riled up princess, hey give me a call when Penis over here can't satisfy you anymore" He says teasingly
"No thanks, I'm sure a chipmunk could satisfy me better that you can ever satisfy any girl on this planet' You smiled fakely
"What the fuck did you sa-" Flash grabs your arm and Peter immediately grabs his arm and twists it
"Grab my girl again and you won't have an arm next time" Peter says darkly
"Whatever, Penis. Everybody knows your 'Balenciaga' shoes are fake anyway." Flash pulls his arm away and huffs in irritaion
"You mean like all your 'designer clothes?" Peter fires back quickly. "impressive though maybe next time cut off the tag that says poshmark, yeah?" He says with a hint of amusement
Flash gets flustered by the remark and stomps away.
"God, when will he ever leave us alone?" you say rolling your eyes.
You continue the rest of the day without any more interruptions but Peter seems a little off ever since the encounter in the cafeteria so you when you get to his place like you usually do you decide to drag him up his room and confront him
"okay what's up?" you ask as you lock the door to his room and sit down next to him on his bed
"it's nothing babe, just tired" he smiles a forced smile at you and he knew you weren't convinced.
"Peter? Honest answer?" You ask once again raising your eyebrows at him
"I just... thought about what Flash said earlier." he admits
"Which one?" you ask
"The one where I uhm- don't satisfy you" He answers slowly and his face flushed of embarrassment his eyes not meeting yours as he was obviously shy about the subject.
Peter was always shy around talking about sex but he listened to what you said you liked and tried to implement it to your sex life as much as he could, he never really told you any fantasies or fetishes and kinks. He was incredibly shy when during your first time but he was amazing.
"Aw baby," you laugh at him amused making his face flushed more "you've done nothing but satisfy me both on and off the bed, okay? You always do." you say sincerely cupping his face with your hand and making him look up at you.
"What I'm more worried about is if I'm satisfying you" you say
"What? Of course you do, baby." He says looking up at you confused
"Well you never really tell me what you like, what turns you on and such" you say shrugging
"Well, you turn me on baby, everything you do turns me on" He says holding your face and swiping gently on your cheek.
"So no fetishes, kinks, fantasies?" you ask
"Well.." he leads on
"so there is! Mr. Peter Stark has a kink!" you chuckle throwing your hands up in success "What is it babe?" you ask smiling
"it's weird really, it's fine if we don't do it, it's okay, we don't have to" Peter rambles.
"Baby, it's fine. tell me please?" you say pouting.
"fine its uh- umh- it's more of a fantasy I guess?" he stutters as he starts and you hum telling him to continue
"uhm I wanna fuck you while you're wearing diamonds and heels and nothing else." he says shyly expecting you to reject the idea
This shocks you a bit but then you remember all the times he's given you diamond accessories and how happy he was but also nervous when you wear them, it turned him on seeing you wear expensive things he buys you.
"uhm- well I don't exactly have your gifts on me right now?" you say still a little shocked.
"wait, your want to do it?" he asks surprised
"well yeah, it actually sounds really hot amd I'd love to do it with you but i don't have your gifts on me right now." you say
"uhm- well there's an uhm box in my closet filled with those kind of things if you really want?" he says nervously, your breath hitches
"you keep a box full of diamonds in case i agree with your fantasy?" you ask
"Well, kinda? I was planning on giving you those things anyway but uhm you found out" he says swallowing nervously.
"okay, let me get changed and-" you start but Peter cuts you off, "actually uhm, can I- can I do it?" Peter asks shyly a tone of hopefulness in his voice
"do what?" you ask confused
"Can I uhm- put it on you?" he requests his face heating up and you can't help but smile at how cute he looks
"okay babe, do what you want with me" you say smiling and stand up.
Peter starts to undress you as soon as he hears your approval his hands fumbling with your shirt, you lift your hands to let him take it off revealing your belly button peircing. Next was your pants, he unbuttones your jeans and slides the zipper down he slips it off your body leaving your underwear, he takes off your bra next leaving you practically naked. He steps back and stares at you
"you look beautiful baby." he leans in and kisses you on the lips "I'll get the things go sit on the bed" he says and goes to his walk in closet,
he's gone for a couple of minutes before returning with a big box he opens it and everything sparkles in your eyes. Every piece looks amazingly beautiful and crazy expensive. He reaches for the shoes first.
He kneels in front of you and slips the heels on your feet leaving kisses as he does next he pulled out two thick diamond bracelets and clasps it around both of your wrists followed by several thin diamond rings slipping them through your fingers he kisses the back of your hand after. He pulls out a thick diamond chocker and kisses your neck before clasping it around your neck and then the final piece is a diamond chain bra, it covers nothing but it's surprisingly more comfortable than you thought it would be.
He steps back to look at his handy work he gulps visibly "fuck baby girl, you look better than I thought you would." he says breathless
You feel shy all of a sudden, you weren't used to having billions of dollars in your body but you certainly loved Peter's reaction to it.
"Go lie down baby girl" Peter instructs and you comply you lie down flatly in the bed looking at the mirror on the top of his bedroom and you see how sexy you look with all of Peter's jewels on and you gasp slightly at the sight.
Peter notices your reaction. "You look perfect don't you, baby?" you look back at him and he's putting on his web shooters "Why are you wearing those? You asked him confused
"you'll find out soon, love" he smiles gently at you. "Karen, do not disturb protocol, please" He orderes to the AI
"Do not disturb protocol enabled." Karen replies
Peter walks up to you and lies on top of you using his arms to lift him up away from your face so he doesn't crush you. He then kisses you hungrily you kiss him back with the same force, one of his hands go down between you two and plays with your clit through the fabric of your underwear.
You gasp lightly at the contact. He stops kissing you and put your hands up above your head and shoots webs making your hand stick to the head board
"As much as I love your hands, I wanna be in control tonight love" He says lust clear in his eyes, be takes off your underwear and he kisses you again an continues to play with you clit
"So wet, love" Peter comments pulling away from your lips
"All for you" you sigh as the pressure inside you builds up as he plays with you. He pulls away from your lips and licks one thing of your nipples that were sticking out from the bra, he pushes a single digit inside you and you arch your back in pleasure
"Baby please," you whine wanting more than his fingers. "Be patient, love" He replies pushing another digit in and curling his fingers in a 'come here' motion you gasp in delight as he finger fucks you and you feel yourself so close to your orgasm
"Baby, I'm close fuck" you pant and he pulls his fingers out in an instant "Peter, what?" you asked him in outrage, Peter never denied you of your orgasm cause he loves the face you make when you do. He stands up and slips a sleeping mask over your eyes and slips your underwear back on.
He simply smiles at you and stands up "I think that's enough for now, baby" he says walking towards his bathroom
"What?? Peter you can't be serious? At least get me out of here! I swear to god Peter Stark if you leave me like this you're not allowed to touch me for the rest of the year!" you shout at him as he enters the bathroom
He looks back at you and smiles "I'll take my chances, love" he winks and closes the door. You let out a frustrated growl cause you can't even touch yourself and as much as you pull at your wrist, the web won't come off.
You silently curse Peter in your head while glaring at the bathroom door when you suddenly feel vibrations coming from your underwear then you hear the shower start to run.
"Peter Stark, you little shit" you mutter unbelievably. You feel the intensity increasing and you can't help but whimper helplessly.
Within minutes you're trembling from the violent orgasm that hit you and you had an inkling feeling that it wouldn't be you're last
By the time that you heard Peter got out of the bathroom you were a whimpering mess after your third orgasm tears were streaming down your face
"Peter, please" you begged. Peter lifted the sleeping mask off your face and immediately an apoligetic look us written all over his face "shh baby, I got you. I'm sorry, love." He apologized over and over as he slipped the underwear off you and desolved the web in your arms
"I'm sorry baby," he says holding you close to him "I took it too far, I'm sorry, baby" he whispered
"hey, it's okay, Peter. I like this side of you" You explain your voice soft
"but I took it too far" He whispers in your ear
"I could've asked you to stop it, I liked it, Peter. But I'd like it better if you'd fuck me." you say against his neck
"you sure, babe?" He asked, a concerned look on his face
"Please, Peter. I need to feel you inside me" you beg quietly
And just like that a fire sparked in his eyes spreading your legs apart and before you could process it, Peter is thrusting himself inside you. You moan out loud and arch your back from the sudden pleasure spreading throughout your body, you hear him silently curse and he began slowly thrusting in and out of you
The slow pace was familiar to the both of you and while you usually didn't mind it you need more of him
"Faster, Peter" you whimper between moans. Peter obeyed your requests and quickened the pace, your head hitting against his headboard and left you a moaning mess, scratching his back.
One of his hands went to your clit, increasing the pleasure you've been feeling nearly sending you over the edge
"Fuck Peter, I'm coming" you moan "Hold it for me, baby" he says breathlessly his thrusts becoming sloppy
"Baby, please I need to cum, please let me cum" you whine against his skin "wait for me baby" he commands softly continuing to drive you insane till he feels himself coming close
"okay, love cum for me" as if on queue, you tremble against him as he thrusts into you riding out your high and he comes inside you filling you to the brim.
He lies down panting beside you, holding you close to him and kissing your forehead.
"Thank you, baby." he mutters against your head. You look up to him confusion on your face "What for, bub?" you ask him
"For letting me do this with you." he kisses you in the lips. You hum in approval
"it's nothing, baby. I enjoyed it. Didn't know you had this side of you though" you chuckle against his lips and sending him a wink
"Well I couldn't let you have all the fun, now can I princess?" He laughs.
"Fair point" you smile to him
"Let me take care of you, princess he says standing up and removing the jewelry from your body and picking you up towards the bathroom.
Safe to say that wasn't the last time that you saw that side of Peter Stark
#peter parker#peter parker imagines#peter parker x reader#peter parker smut#peter parker fluff#peter parker angst#spider-man#spiderman: far from home#spiderman: homecoming#peter parker is tony stark's biological son#peter parker you little shit#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland x reader#tom holland smut#tom holland fluff#tom holland angst#rich kid! au#au
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We Who See Thestrals
A Harry Potter post-canon fic
Luna Lovegood X George Weasley
1860 words (total 10k)
Read Chapter 1
Read Chapter 2
3: The Difficulties of Employment
Halfway through the match, Angelina and Wood abandoned their heckling stream on Jordan's game commentary to get George some fresh air and slip him a few hangover spells.
Wood went back in without much further ado, but Angelina leaned over him as he slumped on the nasty alley wall.
"What's got into you, mate?"
"Angelina, I miss you," warbled George.
"Jibbering imps," she said. "What garbage. You know you and I weren't going to work out. It was too routine. And it was weird for us without…our other friends. We've moved on rather well, I thought. What's got you getting drunk during a lead-up match? Before half-time, no less? That's not you, George. You're worrying me."
"I'm worrying me," George muttered. "I don't know what it's about. I'll walk home."
"I'll walk you." She put an arm around his shoulders and started guiding him back down the street to his shop. He staggered slightly as they got to the door, and Angelina said, "Whoops," as the door opened under her hand. They walked in together, and there was a startled hiccup from inside. George focused consciously--it was Luna, stooped over one of the algae pets he'd stashed downstairs.
Three things happened almost simultaneously. His traitor redhead skin blushed so hard he could see it projecting beyond his skin, Luna jumped up saying, "Sorry, I lost track of the time", and Angelina did a double-take between them.
After Luna had hurried out the door past them, Angelina walked without hurry to the counter of the shop to get ready for a friendly interrogation. George wanted to hurl up his entire life.
"So. Luna's gotten lovely. She working here?"
"I can't…Angelina, have mercy. I feel like a baboon's behind."
"Fine," she said. "I am truly alarmed for you, George, but it's taken a new direction in recent minutes and I am fairly sure you'll live. So hang in there, drink some water. That's a love."
She walked back out. George mechanically locked the door behind her, and dragged himself up to the attic, out the cabinet, and down the stairs from his lab to his room. It felt like a very long way. He drank the water still on his nightstand from forgetting to drink it the night before, and tried to fall asleep.
He felt like hell the next morning, so he didn't even go up to his laboratory. The next day he had some meetings, so he apparated straight to Hogsmeade, then to Godric's Hollow. He ambled casually back in to his shop after a stop in one of the shops in Diagon Alley, saw the back of Luna, and quickly retreated upstairs again.
There was a bang downstairs the next afternoon, but he ignored it. Bangs usually meant someone was having fun, and he didn't feel much like fun.
Then someone banged on the outside of the cabinet door, and Rhodie came tumbling in.
"Mr. Weasley, please. Something's happened downstairs."
"What's happened?" he asked, insides turning to a Medusa's head of rising worry. "Is someone hurt?"
"I don’t think so, but I'm worried--Luna's in a state."
He hurried even more.
The shop was a near-silent scene of chaos. Two of the shelves had been blasted awry, while Luna pleaded, "Expecto patronum. Expecto patronum!"
A shield charm was between her and the wall, where green sparks were still flying from the Wildfire Whiz-Bang, and she stood in front of a small group of children who seemed to be petrified (possibly just by her terror) into staying still.
"Was she startled by the firework?" George asked Rhodie softly.
"Yes, I think so."
Luna's usually soft voice was defiant, threaded with fear, as she kept asking for her guardian to come, even while she tried to hold another spell. George walked first into her line of sight from a few steps away, then knelt in front of her, to not get between her wand and the threat she thought she was seeing.
"Luna, it's just a boggart. Riddikulus, say riddikulus."
He looked at the children behind her, and smiled. "Riddikulus!"
One of them repeated it, and another giggled. Luna whispered first, then said loudly, "Riddikulus!"
And she blinked, realizing where she was. Her wand dropped from her hand, and George started to grab it only to realize that she was dropping, too.
He caught her, the weight more than he had expected from feather-like Luna, and her fingers dug into his arms. "George," she said.
It was a question, but not about him.
"It's all right," he said, awkwardly holding her up from the side. "It was just a memory."
She straightened herself, gave a reedy laugh. "Not even a memory. Just a fear. A flash of green and a bang, like everyone's afraid to see again."
Not everyone had been at Hogwarts, when it all ended. And even of those, not everyone had lost people to loud bangs in childhood, like she had.
"Let's go get you a stiff drink."
She didn't lean on him on their way, which disappointed him slightly. It disappointed him in himself even more that he had kind of hoped for that. Since it was unfair to Rhodie, once at The Leaky Cauldron he set her up to take a nice break with a chatty witch up from the country and went back to the shop to help clean up.
Despite hearing all about Ms. Flybybough's garden tricks for repelling deer and snails, part of Luna's mind was very preoccupied with figuring out how she was going to move forward from this setback. Which taught her something, at least: she wanted to stay at the joke shop. After all, it hadn't been her idea.
"You need something to do with yourself," Hermione had decreed, the decision in her voice the same as when she had started any new project. "And it needs to be something where you'll be out with people. Don't argue. I'm not sure journalists are people, and if you do all your work by correspondence you aren't out with them. I'll ask Ron to get you a job at the joke shop."
The small part of Luna that always notified her when something was a bad idea, though she was going to do it anyway, flared. But she hadn't really puzzled much over why it could be a bad idea. Her new house was too new to have any comforting build-up of memories, and though it was an easy distance to London even without apparating, she wasn't good at organizing things, so she could only hope for other DA members to initiate meet-ups. For a while it had all been fine--being an adult and able to do whatever she wanted after graduating had been fun and new. But it had grown harder to not miss her childhood home, or Hogwarts, or even the bad days of fellowship in the Order of the Phoenix. Some, like Neville, thrived in the normalcy. She had thrived in times of disaster, as not needing to be normal.
But today she'd frightened children and had a panic attack.
And the Weasleys had been so kind, letting her come play shopkeeper. Which in Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes meant playing shopkeeper who played with toys all day. She never did anything by halves (she was a Ravenclaw, after all) so she'd figured out everything there was to know about the items in the shop, without actually interrogating George about exactly how the enchantments on things worked.
And she'd liked going up into the laboratory and seeing the as-yet-unfinished ideas sitting around, gently sparkling with potential. She'd even started keeping a little notepad of ideas, which she felt needed a bit more work. But she might have to just pull a Gryffindor and talk about them before they were ready, because she liked her job here.
She also liked George. This was not a secret she tried to keep from herself, though she did usually pack it up like a roll of parchment for safekeeping at home before going in for work every day. After all, she'd liked George for a long time--most everybody had liked one or both of the Weasley twins in her year. Well, she supposed not everyone had liked them in the same way. But there had been a definite trend she had noted, of first being celebrity-struck by the two of them, and gradually beginning to distinguish them and pick favorites. Fred, with a slightly more manic energy and a tendency to wink at anyone he caught looking was the usual first favorite, with some moving on from him to the more self-assured and devious George.
This was probably part of why Luna's inner witch had hinted that coming to the shop was a bad idea. Other girls had moved on from their first-year crushes with a lot more grace, but....
"Blister-blots," said the familiar voice of Ginny, its slight rasp reassuring. "You've made a mess of poor George's beautiful shop. What have you to say for yourself? Oh, a Butterbeer for me, Tom. Mum's got all the kids for a moment but she better not smell anything stronger on my breath when I get home. She hasn't sent me a Howler since my marriage, but there can always be a first time."
"Did George call you here?"
"Not exactly," Ginny said, eyeing her friend dubiously. "I was out for errands and decided to drop in to see if he had a special order in for me. I'm trying to hide it from Harry until our anniversary. Harry is incredibly hard to hide things from, as one might suppose. George asked me to check in on you on my way out, which I thought uncharacteristically thoughtful of him. What happened?"
"I'm not sure," Luna admitted. "A firework went off with green sparks in it and I just was sure I was looking at a dementor or Death Eater. I've never had that happen before."
"Weird, isn't it? Really unpredictable, what will set someone off. Harry can't abide being in a tent but he deals with all kinds of explosions and nastiness every day. The other day I got incredibly upset, and couldn't figure out why, until my dad pointed out my mother's clock was jumpy about something Ron and Hermione were up to. Wish I hadn't had to think about that, since there's only so much danger a married couple could be up to at seven pm with their children at Granny Molly's. Oh, sorry," said Ginny, seeing the way Luna's face changed color. "I have the worst family trait. 'If I had to suffer the thought, now you do, too.' One of the few things Ron and I share besides the Prewett nose. Anyway, chin up. George deserves to clean up after other peoples' chaos a few times, and I despair of him ever having kids to really serve him right."
A silence fell. Ginny took a deliberate sip of her Butterbeer and grimaced at the sweetness. Then she gave Luna a sideways look.
"Let's take our drinks to a table, shall we?"
Luna did so, not wholly sure why but agreeable.
-
Read Chapter 3
#We Who See Thestrals#Luna Lovegood x George Weasley#Luna Lovegood#George Weasley#Ginny Weasley#Angelina Johnson#fanfiction#The three Broomsticks#HP
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Okay, so quick note: I don't have a Tumblr. I'm not especially interested in having one. I don't do great with the whole "public persona" thing, so I hope its okay if I use your blog as a platform to say what I need to say. But what I do have is a heart, and an opinion on this whole "Sony + Marvel" mess. Most of what I think has already been said, i.e. Marvel needs to back off, Sony can't handle Spider-man by himself, both parties need a good ol' pride check and to be knocked down a peg. (1)🌻
It's disrespecting Stan Lee's memory and legacy. The actors and directors and writers from these movies are going to suffer for this and its overall really just... disappointing. Really, truly, disappointing. etc... And while I am extraordinarily happy that we have gotten to live through and experience THIS Spider-man, Tom Hollands Spider-man, I can't help but be terrified for the future of the franchise. This character means the world to me, (and this is when I'm even happier that I can (2)🌻
submit this anonymously because I think this is the first time I'm ever saying [writing] this out loud), but this Spider-man saved my life, literally. I was in a bad place when Infinity War came out. I had my own "spider-bite" if you will. Within 24 hours my entire life was flipped upside down, I realized I had powers and gifts that were unbeknownst to me, I was told (in different terms) that "with great powers comes great responsibility" and that I was meant for something important (no, (3)🌻
I'm still figuring out what that means lol), and I realized that if I don't act and fight for a better world? Well, when the bad things happen, that's on me. And then 3 close family members died within two months. I lost my Richard Parker, Uncle Ben, and Tony Stark within two horrifying, awful, dreadfully long months. I (figuratively, this time) had a building collapse on me and nobody could help me. I wanted to kill myself, to be released from my fate and destiny and disappear into (4)🌻
nothingness. I didn't see a point in continuing to live. But I stayed alive, barely. I worked my ass off to become a better, stronger person. I started down the path to figuring out what this new identity meant and how I could use it to help others, and I started to become happy again. It took a lot of work, and Infinity War came out right when I was turning a magnanimous corner into recovery. I enjoyed the movie, I still do, but when people started dusting away, one by one, I was just as(5)🌻
confused as everybody else. I knew they had to bring these characters back, but in the suspension of disbelief I was just trying to process what was happening. And then Spider-man came on screen, trying his best to keep himself together, to keep himself alive. He was trying not to die. And those words, in the exact cadence he said them, "I don't want to go"? Those words are going to be burned into my brain as the exact moment I realized I didn't want to die anymore. And, of course, I (6)🌻
started sobbing. I couldn't tell my friends that I was suicidal, I'm too proud to admit I needed help. But I, someone infamous for a stone cold heart, fucking lost it. My friends, all sniffly and sad kind of stared at me in disbelief. A kid, the same age as me and who had gone through similar experiences, being scared to die? And maybe Tom Hollands just an incredible actor but he made me feel a fear of death I hadn't felt in years. I cried for months every time someone would even mention (7)🌻
the scene, or someone would say "I don't want to go." I still can't watch that moment without sobbing. For the entire year between Infinity War and Endgame I was obsessed, hanging onto every clue and detail that was dropped. And on my bad days, when I wanted to die and disappear into the unknown once again, I remembered how hard Spidey fought to stay alive. I also remembered how badly I needed to know that he was okay, how I needed to stay alive because I needed to know Spider-man would (8)🌻
come out of this safe and sound. I know Spider-man didn't actually save me, I worked to get to where I am, but I still owe this version a whole lot. I do, in some ways, owe Tom Holland and Spider-man my life. With that in mind, all I want is for this character to be in the right hands. I'm terrified that Marvel is getting too greedy, or that Sony can't handle live action Spider-man by themselves. If it were any other character that was being fought over, I would root for Sony (conglomerate (9)🌻
Disney can take a long walk off a short plank). But I know their track record, and I know how much this character means to so many people. I'm better now, Spider-man helped me find my safe and sound, I just want to help him find his. After all that team has done for me, the least I can do for them is share my story and hope it resonates with someone. Pete deserves better, all us who have worn and will wear the mask deserve better. (10)🌻 (this should be it, 10 parts total oops!!)
I’m super sorry for the delay, yesterday was crazy for me, but I finally got around to post this! You are so so brave for sharing this and I am so thankful that you chose me to share your story with. I’m very glad that you are better now and I hope with all my heart that you stay that way. I hope you see this and I am sending all my love to you!
Remember, if you ever feel suicidal or don’t want to live anymore PLEASE tell someone or seek professional help.
#suicide triggerwarning#suicide tw#tw#sony#marvel#disney#spider man#bringbackspiderman#savespidey#ask#answered#🌻anon#lovely people
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||Part of this really happened, though I improvised a bit.||
Person who has only seen Durarara!! Anime and admits to being too lazy to read novels: Why would anybody like this guy? *posts gif where Izaya is saying*"People are my playthings."
Me: There are reasons I like Izaya: For one, he's intelligent, charming, cunning, has class, cares for and values his friendship with Shinra in his own way even though he has trouble with empathy(something I relate to), and despite everything, he's just a human even though he's able to bring down an entire organization like Amphisbaena. Not to mention I'm pretty sure he's jealous of practically everybody he comes into contact with. Shizuo, Mikado, Shinra, even Celty.
Me: He punches a telephone pole upon realizing he'd be betraying his only friend by normal human standards.
Me: And he was neglected by his parents emotionally. That's a very typical cause of personality disorders, just so you know. It's not entirely his fault that he is the way he is. Just saying. But I enjoyed watching him outsmart Amphisbaena. And I really like reading the novels for his philosophical views. Plus, he's kind of agnostic and fears death more than anything, something I can relate to.
Me: Haha his hand was literally swollen up because of slamming it into the telephone pole. But you know what happened when his sisters expressed concern for his hand?
This-
Mairu tilted her head and asked as she saw his right hand, “What happened, Iza-nii? Your right hand looks swollen.”
“...Health (Are you alright)?” Kururi looked at him with worried eyes.
Izaya stroked her head with his left hand and lied with a sigh, “Yeah, I got this when I was running away from Shizu-chan.”
“So you deserved it after all—”
“Keep yourselves away from muscle idiots like that one. Or you could die, you know.”
The siblings continued their conversation as they disappeared into the city night. The city, which took in everything it was offered, absorbed their talk into its nightly cacophony as it did any chit-chat within any normal family.
-
That was from the ninth Durarara!! Light novel.
But what was even sadder was the scene before that -
The twins flanked Izaya as he began walking, a bitter smile on his face. Mairu, who was on Izaya’s right, raised her face to look at him and said in a natural tone, “Say, Iza-nii. We know that you probably don’t treat us any differently as you treat other people, but keep in mind that we still think of you as family, OK?”
“All of a sudden you’re saying things that would actually make me happy. What happened?” Izaya felt that the line didn’t sound like Mairu, who usually told him to “Die!” and highkicked him when she saw him. He glanced at his sisters’ faces—and saw that they were smiling innocently back at him as they continued.
“So, if you get killed by Shizuo-san, Iza-nii, we’ll make sure to cry a little bit for you before we laugh about it.”
“Small (Just a little)...”
“...I was a fool to expect any family love from you.”
Izaya chuckled and walked faster.
- Also from LN 9, I have no clue why it wasn't in the anime. It really should have been. Especially the scene where he actually punched the telephone pole. But another reason I like Izaya is because not only is Izaya changing, but Narita himself said, "I have a feeling there was a scene where he cried, but he didn't let the readers see."
Somebody else: There are many reasons that make me like Izaya Orihara, like his fascinating personality, but that doesn't mean I think of him as a good man ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯ I love it anyway
Person who has only seen the Durarara!! anime:
*throws in lame ass argument about what 'bad' things Izaya has done, without arguing, even though the argument could go both ways, considering he did take down Amphisbaena, and took Jinnai Yodogiri's corporation, giving Kasane Kujiragi back her freedom.*
Me: He's neither good nor bad. Most people can't be classified as either. We're all selfish in our own ways, and have a dark nature down deep that makes us want to test people at points. But without proper nurturing that can become harmful by nature, and it can consume us.
Somebody else number 2: The funny thing is that most people fail to recognize that they are of equal good/bad scale to Izaya without realizing it. It's only because Izaya is presented as an antagonist going against the common societal view that he is seen as a villain. Anyone that stands out against what is accepted is seen as bad because that is what we are taught at a young age to believe.
So saying that you hate Izaya because he is evil or bad is playing into those accepted, ingrained, and common beliefs.
Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime:
I don't have to like Izaya. I don't agree with you, and I don't want to argue about this. Izaya is pretty terrible. He started a whole war for fun, and told a girl to commit suicide. Any Shinra was just assuming when he said that Izaya has a fragile heart. Shinra is just some underground doctor(me: that doesn't know what he's talking about)?
Me: You don't have to like him, but you can't just deny canon. First off, he didn't want to start the war entirely for fun. He's an atheist/agnostic, and is terrified of death more than anything. The novels outright called Shinra, "his friend, the first person to see through Izaya to his true nature.". And Shinra described Izaya's 'true nature' as being more human and his heart more fragile than anybody else. Nextly, Shinra isn't 'just' some ignorant doctor. He has the potential to be the most manipulative character on the show if he really wanted to, and he's not ignorant. He's actually fairly insightful and observant, even when others aren't even though he ignores them because he only cares about Celty. Even Tom seemed weary of Shinra, implied by the novels.
Somebody else 4: Whether you like Izaya or not doesn't matter, because it's not just interpretation, it's canon, so in other words, you're just ignoring facts to justify your hatred for him.
Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime:
I mean he could made different choices and it could have turned out better.
Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime: I think Izaya's the worst one because he started the war.
Me: The same could be said for pretty much every single one of the characters, who all have done some pretty bad things, and crossed over things Izaya never would. *points out Shizuo's non justification for his hair trigger and how if it weren't for Simon, Shizuo could have killed somebody. Points out Ran's joking about raping both Saki and Mikage, as well as his abuse towards his brother, not to mention what he did and threatened to Saki(though he is jealous of the love Aoba receives from his parents, and the natural leader role Kyouhei has), points out Anri's hypocrisy in siding with Saika just because she saved her, points out Masaomi's cowardice(even though he has his really good moments), points out how Izaya saved Saki and multiple other girls from abusive situations, and especially Kuon's sister's experience with Izaya and how they can't properly seem to live without Izaya, points out the fact that, in reality, Mikado stabbed Aoba because he wanted to fulfill his ego, as well as the fact that he shot off a gun and caused a spark in the Awakusu-kai, points out some of the things Namie and Seiji did, not to mention Shinra's manipulative nature. Above all, points out all the trouble Nasujima caused and the terrible things he did(to Haruna and her family especially), as well as Jinnai Yadogiri sending Vorona(serial killer for fun at first, likely because of neglect) and Sloan to kidnap a child and do who knows what with her, considering all that Jinnai did to Ruri(also serial killer, but less for fun and more for revenge to get back at those who killed her parents)(not to mention Jinnai doing experimentation on her), though killing still starts to consume her because she feels freedom by doing so), Adabashi beating Shinra to a bloody pulp(though not apparently as bad as Shizuo has supposedly done to Shinra in the past, according to Shinra himself)(after which Izaya had Izumii break Adabashi's leg broke and kept him in his apartment for three days until he managed to escape.)* I'm not going to even go into Shizuo beating up a guy for simply questioning the purpose of life and telling him to go die, or the things Vorona, Shinra, Walker, Erika, Aoba, Rokujo, even Celty,(probably)Simon, and many others have done. Because every character has flaws and weaknesses that make them human. Minus Takashi and Jinnai Yadogiri, everybody has a least one person they have an attachment to of some sort and can feel a little closer to than others, even if they won't admit it, mostly everybody has unhealthy obsessions, Izaya nonetheless. But most everybody is changing, Izaya has even took the huge step of NOT calling Shizuo a monster, and instead admitting that Shizuo is just a man that distanced himself from humans. If that alone is not an improvement for him, I don't know what is.
Person who has only seen the Durarara!! anime: *obviously didn't read much of anything* Eh, Izaya's not good, and I just can't find it in myself to like him. If he were a real person, I might sympathize with him a little bit, because he could find help, but he's just a character, and there's no real justification for why he is the way he is.
Other person who has only seen the Durarara!! anime:
The anime is made for you to interpret Izaya however you want.
Somebody else number 4: This is why people need to read the novels. There is more to Izaya than what is portrayed in the anime.
Me: Plus, both the anime and manga is there to promote the original sources, so, naturally, they are going to leave out stuff, because they want you to read novels.
Somebody else number 5: Izaya isn't evil. He's not a sociopath. He's not a psychopath. He's not a troll. He is indeed only human and only wants a little more in his life than sitting on a bed and binge watch anime. There's so many reasons to like him
#izaya#Izaya Orihara#orihara izaya#drrr!!#Drrr#Durarara!!#durarara#durararara#durarara light novel#durarara light novels#chat
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