#i have a lot more to say but tumblr seems to impose a word limit on answering asks! >:(
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hiiii really enjoyed your chenglingposting i was thinking about how sometimes the kids in adult stories function as a sort of barometer for optimism about the future in their views and options in life... obviously the alliance wants to continue the cycle of antagonizing and vengeance and conflict with the veneer of "honor" but. zcl gets to choose not to. its been a while since I either read or watched, do you know if zcl was ever onboard with actually wanting vengeance or if that was just being pushed on him? Obv its not super in line w his personality but grief could be a factor. i just thought it'd make a lot of sense if he changed his mind on that due to the influence of wenzhou and how they prioritize enjoying life w your people and following your own path over expectations. priest really took one more chance to emphasize breaking cycles/"if it sucks hit the bricks"
hi!! omg!!! thank you and im glad you enjoyed it! honestly this is a question i have been thinking about since at least two rereads ago. the show and the novel are handling this issue of zcl picking up his legacy / giving in to external expectations / finding out what he really wants in life a little differently, i think, as befitting of what they both focus on. ive said in my chenglingpost that the show is about legacy and inheritance in my eyes, while the novel is about martial arts and freedom of choice. obvs freedom of choice is a high priority in word of honor as well, but word of honor seems to have an overarching look, kind of focusing on the big picture and what a generation / a community needs rather than a few individuals, while the novel focuses exclusively on wenzhou and their little group and seems to handle the rest of the themes in priest's usual style. the show is about something "grand", the novel is about the mundane, almost boring human experience. martial arts play a bigger role in the latter too because they are a stand-in for many things that are hard to grasp, like autonomy. in chengling's context, martial arts are irrevocably linked with seeking revenge. i think that is specifically in the novel the case, not so much in the show. in the show seeking revenge is pushed onto him by others as well as inheriting his sect's legacy and becoming worthy of being his father's son. in the novel, the idea of seeking revenge is first presented to him by gu xiang, and it is actually this huge contrast to how others treat him because others "generously" offer to take revenge for him, while gu xiang tells him he can do that himself. we see with wen kexing that getting revenge does not make u happy. it gives u closure but it does not make u happy. i think that is something chengling learns during the novel. he gets closure in the end but it does not look the way he had imagined it would. i think he imagined himself to get super strong and then single-handedly slay his foes. yknow, as u often see in wuxia and as wen kexing literally does. then he starts learning martial arts and realizes getting super strong is actually not that easy, and this chasm between what he expects of himself and what he is able to achieve gets wider and wider and he falls into depression spirals, because to chengling, seeking revenge was taking ownership of his life and his trauma, and what use does he have when he cant even do that? that is the path wen kexing walks and it hollowed him out and it would have him kill himself if he hadnt met zhou zishu; wen kexing viewed himself as an instrument for a very long time rather than as someone deserving of having his own life. so obvs, that path is rubbish by itself (wkx gets his revenge and his closure and his life, good for him!) and its far too much for a kid. and i think, that is what chengling learns here: he only needs to do as much as he can, only bite off what he can chew, and the rest should not be his concern. and there really turns out to be a way to get everything he needs without walking the same path as wen kexing, as the novel proves, because wen kexing had nobody when he was in the same situation while trying to survive the valley, while chengling has wenzhou who guide him and shield him and love him. (crying myself into a huddle over wen kexing and chengling and them being foils of each other.) so in that sense youre already putting it into words. chengling seems to have changed his mind over the course of the novel, he doesnt have that same outlook on vengeance as he as in the start. i think thats different for the show. in the show, there is this weighing of the concept of revenge against the concept of getting justice, and what both these things do and require of a person and what they can offer u as an individual, but also u as a collective, in the long run. they are seen as two different things and are explored and qestioned individually. i think that can be seen in the conflict with chengling and all these expectations everyone has of him and how he handles that.
#i cant say much more regarding the show rn. but i think it does something very similar to the novel#re: wen kexing and chengling getting their closure parallel to each other and being foils of each other#one walking a path the other doesnt have to or doesnt get to#chengling is kinda symbolically getting the kind of justice wkx would have deserved to and gets now through chengling#but for the show#their closure is not just holding the big bad accountable. its also the community effort of forging a better future together#aa this went off track. but i cant get into more detail re: chengling and vengeance for the show. still in my rewatch!#i hope this answers your question anyway!!!!#thank you for sending it to me i had a lot of fun!#i have a lot more to say but tumblr seems to impose a word limit on answering asks! >:(#something something martial arts are zzs's way of communication and he uses that rather than his words to give chengling what he needs#something something practising martial arts helps chengling discover the boundaries of his own body and reverts him back into a child#rather than the orphaned failure of a son who needs revenge to give himself meaning. like a tool.#something something martial arts is both chengling's cause of suffering and his tool of freeing himself#something something zzs knows for pretty much most of the novel that zcl has this grand potential inside him and simply ignores it#something something chengling's shifu (he has a shifu in the novel before zzs!) is an idiot who doesnt even see his disciple's potential#who blames chengling instead of reflecting upon himself (and how thats kinda like schools blaming neurodivergent and other kids for failing#and how zzs notices chengling's inert dormant potential / difficulty practically immediately and is probs uniquely qualified to teach him#drawing from his own experience with harsh teaching methods and surviving impossible tasks and breaking through body limits and difficultie#paired with being bamf at martial arts and probs having this vast pool of knowledge#something something zzs acting nasty but doing good (and nobody knows) and chengling turning out happier and more stable in the end#inbox#geneticcatalyst#tian ya ke#faraway wanderers#word of honor#meta#zhang chengling#zhou zishu#wen kexing
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Omg, thank you for the tip about pillowfort being run by antis!
Ahh, I'm so relieved to hear that the tip was helpful to someone!! :') Thank you for saying so!
I also I wanted to answer with more information on it because, sighs, idk, I'm worried lots of people have never heard of the Pillowfort Shenanigans™ in the first place... which troubles me... because, as an author of taboo content and an opponent of censorship, I really do not want Pillowfort to succeed. In fact, I very much hope that they fail. 🙃
Note: In full transparency, I have not kept up-to-date on Pillowfort happenings in some time. I don't know who owns Pillowfort currently or what changes they have made (or apologies they have given), and, though I very much doubt it, it's totally possible things are different now. This post is just my recollection of the events that happened in 2018 and 2019. I do vouch for this post's accuracy, but please do not take my word as law.
Back in the winter of 2018, when Tumblr announced its decision to ban female-representing nipples, a lot of us were looking for a new place to kick open shop. There was talk amongst fandommers about making a social media platform like Tumblr but with the same fan-run principles of AO3. Fortunately, a handful of people had already taken on this venture a couple of years prior, and they happened to be ready just in time to seize this opportunity. Thus, a website called Pillowfort was launched in the conclusion of a Kickstarter. At the time, this was quite appealing to the Tumblr userbase, who flocked in droves to purchase their $5.00 Pillowfort accounts. Unfortunately, the people who started Pillowfort seem to have been (1) completely uninformed on how to run a website, and (2) completely uninformed on what made their inspiration so successful. Specifically, I'm talking about AO3's commitment to the ship & let ship/YKINMKATO ideal, which allows any content so long as it is legal. Lots of people would likely argue that this very principle is a large part of what has kept AO3 from the content purges that used to be extremely common. A phenomenon that Pillowfort, even in my brief experience, did not escape.
Around the end of 2018, Pillowfort released a policy statement regarding its stance on explicit artwork & underage characters. This policy statement forbade any "explicit visual art of characters that appear to be underage" (emphasis added). In other words, Pillowfort, after presenting itself as a solution to Tumblr's ban on sexually explicit fanart, had now decided to impose limitations on sexually explicit fanart? Let alone with wording that should raise immediate red flags to anyone who knows their fandom history? In case you're thinking they had some secret reason for this decision, the kind of fanart Pillowfort described in their policy statement is not illegal in the United States, in which Pillowfort was basing its terms of service. Additionally, at the time, Pillowfort was not even available to users under 18 without signed parental permission. (At least IIRC.) As far as we know, Pillowfort's decision was based solely on staff's personal preference. The post goes on to clarify their stance with the following:
"Now, due to the inherently subjective nature of trying to determine the age of a fictional character in a stylized medium, the "gray area" cases will be up to the discretion of the moderator reviewing the content. . . . We are not going to comb through the wiki of a particular fandom to try and find the canonical age of a fictional character. . . . Any explicit or sexual art of a character that appears to be physically pre-pubescent or barely pubescent (i.e. not plausibly or arguably of age, or even close to it) will be prohibited." (Emphasis added)
So... basically... what they're saying... is that if I post some sexually explicit but fictional fanart of two consenting adult characters, then Pillowfort user Karen Cuntsdottir could still potentially get my fanart deleted... and simply because it looks to both Karen Cuntsdottir and a random moderator as if the characters haven't finished puberty. Even if the actual canonical age of the character is over 18. Cool. 🙃 For those of you who may think this is a reasonable decision (which fuck off if so), this can get really dicey for characters who are otherwise consenting adults but with large age gaps, height differences, or naturally youthful appearances. As for anyone who maybe uses sexually explicit fanart like that to cope with their own CSA or who enjoys it for any other totally acceptable reason because it's fiction? Sorry, buddy, you're tough out of luck. Plus, I know that Pillowfort claims in their statement that they're not gonna go after dark content or whatever, but anyone who has a working brain knows that censorship of creative works is always a slippery slope.
In Pillowfort's defense, the argument can be made that people are allowed to consider personal preference in the creation of their own website. Unfortunately, this is not where the story ends. If you'll notice, their policy statement begins, "We apologize for not clarifying our position on this earlier; we have been working on revising the ToS to address these issues, but an incident arose today that necessitated us taking action on this matter, so it seems necessary to put things in plain terms now" (emphasis added).
What the hell incident are they talking about? Well, friends, this is where things get gross. Assuming the allegations are true (and no one, not Pillowfort, not any of its users, nor anyone else seems to have challenged their veracity), the whole reason for Pillowfort's policy statement was because of an incident that occured between Pillowfort and one of its users called Ojicon.* Earlier on, Ojicon had tried to log into their account and was unable to. Despite the bugs and lags and weirdness continuing to plague Pillowfort to this day, Ojicon soon discovered that their user page was redirecting everyone to a 404 error page, and that all of their comments and posts on Pillowfort had been removed. Eventually, Ojicon put two and two together and figured out that Pillowfort had banned their account... and it had done so without sending any kind of email or communication. In fact, Pillowfort never initiated any communication with Ojicon; it was Ojicon themselves who reached out to Pillowfort for information. Eventually Ojicon got their answer. Their account had been banned for a post featuring lolicon fanart—something that, at the time, was not against Pillowfort's terms of service. For further context, Ojicon recounts flagging their fanart using the NSFW feature, putting it beneath a read-more cut, and properly warning for underage content in their post. Despite this, Ojicon was given no warnings, no suspensions, and no chances to remove this fanart. Ojicon's entire Pillowfort account (an account Ojicon had paid for) was summarily banned without any notice whatsoever—and again, it was banned for something that had not been against the rules. Oh, and in case you're wondering, Pillowfort did confirm all of this in their response to Ojicon's email as follows:
"Yes, you were banned from the site today by a moderator. It is true that our ToS doesn't clearly define a limitation on pornographic fiction or art (we have been working on a revision of our ToS to address this issue but it isn't finished yet), so if you contributed to our Kickstarter or PayPal and want a refund then let us know and we will provide it."
*Note: Unfortunately this happened so long ago that it's hard to find legitimate sources for the exact goings-on described above, but this LiveJournal thread does a pretty good job at documenting everything. Also this archived post has a good summary and link roundup of the situation. Finally this study is really interesting and goes into the finer details of what I'm describing above.
So even if you argue that Pillowfort has a right to put whatever they want in their terms of service (despite the fact that they specifically invited Tumblr users fleeing the NSFW ban to their website, got $5 per account, and then completely changed the terms of service on said Tumblr users), Pillowfort still banned a user preemptively for something that was not yet against the rules and failed to mention any of this in their policy statement (or to the individual they were banning). And all of this was done despite their alleged commitment to transparency. IIRC, the substantial pushback they got for this choice eventually led them to share more details on the "incident" they had briefly mentioned in their policy statement... but they didn't add any new information other than what had already been found out from others. Plus, they doubled down on the wording in their policy statement (despite how easily exploitable it would be). And, while they did refund $5 to anyone who was upset by this decision, many people, myself included, did not have the energy to go through the hassle of that (especially because, while understandably so, Pillowfort implemented a time frame for how long they would be providing refunds for this reason). So I'm certain that many users let Pillowfort keep their money and that Pillowfort probably kept quite a pretty penny earned via their false promise.
Whatever the case, many of us who do not stand for anti behavior left Pillowfort, leaving behind a large amount of people who were antis themselves and/or generally supported Pillowfort's decision. Thus, I imagine Pillowfort became and remains an unsafe place for fandommers, and I do not recommend it to anyone as a substitute for Tumblr.
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Joyful Reunion, Chapter 14
Translator: foxghost @foxghost tumblr/ko-fi1
Beta: meet-me-in-oblivion @meet-me-in-oblivion tumblr
Original by 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang
Masterpost | Characters, Maps & Other Reference Index
Book 1, Chapter 4 (part 2)
Though he misses Lang Junxia, Duan Ling has gradually understood something: perhaps if his father didn’t come, Lang Junxia wouldn’t have left.
Some will come and some will go — it’s just like how Lang Junxia described it himself. You can’t have all the good things that happen in the world; one will always have regrets, one way or another.
A lot of things feel like they were pre-arranged for him by the heavens itself.
Not without astonishment Duan Ling realises that if he ever has questions about any of the books he’s reading, as long as he brings them up to Li Jianhong, he can almost always answer them. On top of that, while his answers are wholly different than those the headmaster comes up with, they do not contradict his other interpretations, leaving Duan Ling little option but to be persuaded.
“Dad, didn’t you tell me that you didn’t get much schooling?”
“Life is limited, knowledge is limitless.2” Li Jianhong answers, “Who can truly say they’re well-read? All one can learn are bits and pieces. The more you know, the less you understand.”
Duan Ling only half understands, but he nods anyway. Today, he has flipped through his books for a while, and now he asks, “Dad, Confucius said that a gentleman reveres three things. What does that mean?”
“First to revere fate, second to revere the ruling class, third to revere the words of sages. A wretch who does not know the inevitability of fate would not know he should revere it..”
“Revere doesn’t mean fear.” Li Jianhong gives an impromptu explanation as he looks out into the courtyard, “It means to respect. Only by honouring one’s fate can one find shelter.”
“And what does fate mean?” Duan Ling asks.
“Everyone has something that they must accomplish in their lives, and that is decided from the very moment they are born. Some are born to farm, some are born to fight in wars, some are born to be the emperor. There are all kinds of fates, endlessly dissimilar.”
“But how am I supposed to find out what my fate is?” Duan Ling asks another question.
“It makes perfect sense for you not to know,” Li Jianhong puts down his bowl and heaves a sigh. “Dad doesn’t know either. Independent at thirty, confident at forty, knows one’s fate at fifty, said Confucius — we’re not supposed to find out until we’re fifty.”
“Isn’t that too long?” Duan Ling doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“Yeah. We spend the first half of our lives bumping about in the dark not knowing what we’re supposed to do — it’s truly a waste of time.”
Li Jianhong gets up and walks away, but Duan Ling is still thinking about what his father told him; he finds him far more interesting than his teachers.
But soon Li Jianhong is walking past his door again. It’s drizzling outside, and Li Jianhong has changed into a cloak. He has a bundle in one hand. “Don’t you need to go to the Illustrious Hall today? Want to keep going to school?”
“Oh!” Duan Ling remembers now — today is the day he’s picking up his papers. He’ll be able to pick up the last essay he wrote at the Illustrious Hall and get it stamped by the headmaster so he can hand it in at Biyong College. He’s nearly forgotten, but Li Jianhong somehow still remembers everything, and takes him out on horseback. They plan to go get the papers, then head to the ink room to register for the exams before heading out of the city for a leisure trip.
Shangjing’s Biyong College is situated in the middle of Zhenghe Street, teeming with pedestrians and carriages that come and go in an endless stream. A line has already formed outside, all from noble and high-ranking functionary households. Standing apart from the crowd, Duan Ling and his father look on, both of whom dressed in plain commoners’ clothing.
“Do you envy their show of wealth in their beautiful carriages?” Li Jianhong asks without much thought.
Duan Ling shakes his head. A lot of these people are his fellow alumni from the Illustrious Hall. They’ve spent years studying with each other, but he never imagined that they came from such eminent families. Duan Ling says to Li Jianhong, “The headmaster taught us that one must be content with poverty and be the ruler of one’s own self.”
Li Jianhong nods. “Even though the headmaster talks a lot of nonsense, in this instance he is correct.”
Duan Ling laughs as he goes to get a number for registration on his own, so Li Jianhong pulls his hood down low until it covers half his face, and he stands in the shadows as he scans the faces of the passersby.
“Duan Ling!” Cai Yan calls his name from a distance. “What are you waiting for? Come over here!”
Though Duan Ling has completed his course of study at the Illustrious Hall, he has made few friends; because Lang Junxia made sure he only lived in the secluded side wing, he had little opportunity to meet with his fellow students. The only people he’s relatively close to are Cai Yan and Borjigin, whom he met on the first day, and Helian Bo who was occasionally given the standing punishment along with him.
Cai Yan came with this older brother as always, and he beckons at Duan Ling. So Li Jianhong walks over to greet them, saluting Cai Wen with one hand wrapped over his fist.
“Thank you for looking after him,” Li Jianhong says.
"I hardly did anything. "Cai Wen smiles, returning the gesture.
Cai Yan rests his arm over Duan Ling’s shoulder, letting him line up in front of himself, and the two of them exchange pleasantries. Duan Ling seldom sees Cai Wen, and he cannot help recalling that one winter where Lang Junxia was injured. In the days following that incident, Duan Ling returned to the Illustrious Hall, and Cai Yan came to see him without prompting; noticing his swollen right eye, Cai Yan thought Duan Ling was beaten by the adults at his house, and talked with him for a while to console him.
Ordinarily the two of them were almost never in the same class together. By the time Duan Ling started school, Cai Yan was already in the literature pavilion learning the four books and five classics ahead of time, as well as writing essays, and by the time Duan Ling advanced to the literature pavilion, they were classmates only for a few brief months before Cai Yan was taken back home, where his brother hired someone to teach him. Therefore the two of them did not see each other often at all.
But Duan Ling did have some idea of Cai Yan’s family situation. He knows that even though Cai Wen is Cai Yan’s older brother, the two did not share the same mother, and Cai Yan’s needs to be taken care of by Cai Wen everyday the same way Lang Junxia looks after Duan Ling. It made Cai Yan and Duan Ling intangibly closer still. Aside from this, Cai Yan and his older brother had also run into Duan Ling and Lang Junxia twice outside of school; once at the Mid-Autumn lantern festival, and the other time at the Double Third festival3 on a spring outing by the water.
However, Ding Zhi seems to like Lang Junxia, but not Cai Wen so much, thus when their respective elders happen to run into each other the atmosphere feels a bit awkward.
While the young men stand in line, the adults around them have a friendly chat. Duan Ling has forgotten to introduce Cai Wen to his father; Cai Wen is dressed in sky blue casuals today, looking quite dashing with a fighter’s bearing, like a sharp, newly forged sword. What they talk about is nothing more than the two children’s studies. Compared to the respectful distance Lang Junxia tends to keep, Li Jianhong comes off as far more cordial.
When Lang Junxia is mentioned, Li Jianhong merely brushes off the subject with a simple, “He’s my servant, and I wasn’t going to let him interfere too much in my son’s studies. Once I finished work and came to Shangjing, I sent him back to the south to take care of the business.”
Cai Wen nods. “I’ve been told you’re a merchant, Duanxiong?”
Li jianhong nods. “It’s not going so well. I was just thinking about finding some other way to make a living. Ambition I’ve plenty, but with all this war going on it’s hard to find a foothold anywhere, so what can I do but eat away at my savings while sitting idly on my hands. I’ll worry about that when I’m done watching over my son and he’s grown.”
Cai Wen laughs. “Judging by your bearing, Duanxiong, surely you wouldn’t have to eat away at your savings. You’re just being overly modest.”
Though Li Jianhong’s clothes and ornaments are not extravagant, his every movement and every word carries a particular aura, far from anything like a nouveau riche. In recent years Shangjing is filled with all kinds of folk, rich and poor alike; many nobles have also taken their entire families to shelter beneath the Liao celestial emperor’s feet. Though Cai Wen thinks Li Jianhong is no ordinary man, he has already met Duan Ling, and so he does not think too much of it.
Cai Yan sees a youth walking towards them and says, surprised, “Helian Bo!”
Duan Ling says smilingly, “Helian Bo!”
“You’ve come too!” Cai Yan greets him, “Come over here.”
Helian Bo has grown as well; he often got sent to stand out in the hallway alongside Duan Ling as punishment, and at fourteen he’s already rather tall, with dusky skin. He’s dressed in the Xiqiang fashion, with high brows, deep-set eyes, and chiselled features. Ordinarily he looks rather imposing simply standing there without saying a word, but in fact, he stutters.
Helian Bo is with his steward, so he nods at Duan Ling and Cai Yan, then tells his steward to leave before going to stand behind the two of them silently.
“Did you see Borjigin?” Cai Yan says offhandedly.
Helian Bo shakes his head. He looks at Li Jianhong, obviously the first time he’s ever seen him.
“My dad,” Daun Ling finally remembers to introduce him.
Helian Bo puts one palm on top of another, so Li Jianhong nods at him and returns the salute. Duan Ling looks behind him to find a carriage stopped on the road. Helian Bo points over that way and explains to Duan Ling. “My mom.”
His mother’s the one who brought Helian Bo here to register. Shangjing custom does not allow female family members to appear in public, so Helian Bo has come to line up by himself. He cups a hand over his fist to Cai Wen and the others in an apology.
The young men chat casually with each other for a while, and when it’s their turn, Duan Ling wants to let the others go first, but Helian Bo makes a gesture palm up at Duan Ling, please go ahead, and along with Cai Yan the two let the youngest among them go first.
“Duan Ling can come over whenever he’s free.” Caii Wen says, “I hired a teacher from the south. He can choose some of the easier material to teach him for now.”
“It’s wonderful of you to offer, thank you,” Li Jianhong says.
Cai Wen waves it off, don’t mention it, while Duan Ling has already gone inside with his answers, handed it in, and got it stamped. Li Jianhong says goodbye to Cai Wen, and he steps away with Duan Ling to pay the exam fee.
By the time Duan Ling is done, his friends are already gone. Noticing that Duan Ling is still looking back to search the crowd repeatedly, Li Jianhong asks, “You have friends that didn’t come?”
“Batu didn’t come.” Duan Ling replies, “We said we’d come today to register for the exams.”
Li Jianhong thinks to himself for a little while before asking Duan Ling, “Did you make any other friends?”
“Those are the one that are good to me. But I don’t know why their families are so strict with them.”
“Well, I forgot to ask, actually. Was Lang Junxia strict with you?”
Duan Ling shakes his head. It’s already been a while since he parted from Lang Junxia, but when he thinks about the past, he cherishes the comfortable years he spent with Lang Junxia very much still. Not that he didn’t want to play around, but Duan Ling was terrified of disappointing him. However, he can tell that Cai Yan, Helian Bo, as well as his other fellow classmates seem to have been having a hard time, as though there was a constant gloom pressing down on their heads.
“Helian Bo and the others … I don’t know how to say it, but they always looked like … looked like … um …”
Li Jianhong says, “Like there’s a ghost trailing them, forcing them to study so they can’t even laugh out loud.”
Duan Ling smiles. “That’s it.”
“They’re all mature beyond their years. They’re not like you.”
Duan Ling heaves a sigh.
Li Jianhong says, “They’re all heirs of politcal hostages, so naturally ever since they were little they understood more than those around them.”
“Well, I know that. But is it all that scary?” Duan Ling asks.
Li Jianhong holds Duan Ling’s hand as they walk down the street. “Helian Bo is the son of the Xiqiang royal family’s Helian Luan. Borjigin is a descendent of the Yuan Jiwowen line. As for the brothers Cai Wen and Cai Yan, they’re the offspring of the Cai family who moved north to work as officials in Shangjing. They’re children from mixed marriages with Khitan women.”
“In other words,” Li Jianhong explains, “Their dads are all foreigners, and most of them are royal kin. They’re here as hostages in exchange for peace between their home country and the Liao empire. If war breaks out between them, the Khitans will kill them.”
Duan Ling falls quiet for a moment before he asks, “Who is Southern Chen’s hostage?”
“The Southern Chen imperial family doesn’t have a hostage here — because the Han refuses to yield.”
“A lot of people who went to school with you in the Illustrious Hall are the descendents of the Liao empire’s south-side bureaucrats. If they ever defect, the Liao emperor would kill their sons.” Li Jianhong asks, “Do you know a child with the last name Han?”
“I do!” Duan Ling immediately thinks of that Mister Han.
“He’s actually Khitan. His dad is the imperial tutor of the southern administration.”
Duan Ling nods. He’s standing at the intersection with Li Jianhong; Dayu’er Lane is right next to them. Duan Ling stands there, and peers in for a while. “I want to check Batu’s house.”
And so Li Jianhong steps into Dayu’er Lane with Duan Ling, but they discover that many Khitan soldiers are inside, questioning everyone they see.
“Who’s there?” They’re immediately on guard.
“I’m …” Duan Ling has just started speaking when Li Jianhong’s hand on his shoulder lightly presses down.
“When I was taking my son to register earlier I ran into General Cai outside Biyong College.” Li Jianhong says smoothly, “He noticed that Borjigin was absent so he asked me to come check on him.”
“It has got nothing to do with Cai Wen.” The officer says, “Return and tell him to mind his own business.”
Li Jianhong nods at him and leaves with Duan Ling, a slight furrow between his brows.
“Why are they …”
Li Jianhong puts a finger over Duan Ling’s lips, letting him know not to ask. By the time they get home, Duan Ling has already forgotten all about it, and goes to work in his flowerbed. After a while, Duan Ling finds Li Jianhong getting some sun on the recliner in the courtyard, his eyes narrowed as though lost in thought.
“Dad.” Duan Ling is going to ask him to go sleep inside, but Li Jianhong’s eyes open and he beckons Duan Ling closer.
So Duan Ling goes and sprawls all over Li Jianhong. Li Jianhong holds Duan Ling close to him with one hand, and takes his hand with another.
“What’s this? Your hands are covered in mud, just wiping it on your dad’s face all day long.”
Duan Ling wipes both hands on Li Jianhong’s clothes and says, “I’m hungry.”
“What do you want to eat? Let’s go get something at a restaurant …”
Duan Ling is about to wash his hands, but Li Jianhong doesn’t loosen his hold; he carefully examines Duan Ling’s expression while looking at his eyes. “Tell me this before you go. Are you good friends with Borjigin Batu?”
There’s gravitas in Li Jianhong’s expression, and Duan Ling gets a bit worried, thinking Li Jianhong must disapprove of him making friends with Batu, so he starts thinking about how he should answer. And yet after just this short pause of hesitation, Li Jianhong is saying to him, “If he is then say he is, if he isn’t then say he isn’t. What’d you think I’d do to you?”
Duan Ling answers, “He is.”
“Life is long, and you must have a few friends. Go wash your hands.”
I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if you’d like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also to note that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, do come to my tumblr. It’s ad-free. ↩︎
It’s by Zhuangzi. The full quote is Life is limited, knowledge is limitless; the pursuit of the limitless with the limited can only end in failure. ↩︎
The double third festival happens on 3-3, on the third day of the third lunar month. ↩︎
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Camp Nanwum Update: 7,760
I thought that I would start out strong and knock out 10k by July 4, but that hasn't happened. I'm still satisfied with my progress, since I'm only a little bit under par for the month. If I keep averaging about 1k per day, I'll be fine, and I plan to pull ahead a little this weekend. I'm definitely in a better place than I was in April or January.
What slowed me down is a process I call "bonepiling" where I write scenes for future chapters, and when I finally get to those chapters, I have to incorporate those scenes into what I'm currently doing. I let it get out of control in 2019, and I spent most of 2020 fixing it, but I still do it from time to time. It's not so bad as long as I don't do it to excess. But it really kills momentum for the opening days of a writing month like this.
For example, I was doing some plotting (read: checking the Xenoverse 1 article on the DB wiki to see what happens next in the game) and I got sorely tempted to skip ahead and do some Demigra stuff. But I can't afford to do that. That's what got me all fucked over in 2019, and I can't let that happen again. I have to keep the bonepile small. Actually, maybe I should impose a limit for that. I have the text files in a folder, and I could just say "no more than 100kb of loose scenes". Or whatever a good number would be.
I've been writing this stupid, stupid longfic for six years now. My productivity seems to be fine, but morale is low, and I want to try to capture the reasons for that.
First, I think my "bonepile" problem isn't just a folder of loose scenes on my computer. I've been mentally plotting the Time Patrol segment of this fic since 2015. At the time, I always looked forward to reaching this place I'm in now, because it would be so much easier and more fun to write. I have all the Dragon Ball characters at my disposal now! I have the story mode of XV1 to serve as my outline!
But the downside is that I've been mentally preparing for this part for so long that it feels kind of dull to actually write it. This isn't a confidence thing, because I can tell I'm putting down good material. It kicks ass; but I just don't care, because I've known a lot of the plot details for so many years. I've got to figure out how to deal with that. Maybe writing some short fics on the side might help, but I don't want to take away productivity from this thing.
Second, I've just been feeling worn down by the sheer length of this project. I knew it would be this way. Tumblr and the fandom have changed like four times since I started, and it feels like I'm still here doing the same old shit. I knew it would be like this. People were going to come and go, and I'd get older and greyer, and I'd worry that I'd lose touch with the audience if this dragged on too long. That's why I put this thing off for so many years in the first place. In 2015, I decided that if I didn't do it now, it wouldn't get done. I made my choice, and I planned to stick to that choice no matter what.
But lately, it just feels less worthwhile. I'm operating less on enjoyment of the game and more on resolve to see this through. I read somewhere that writing is like gardening, and I'm definitely tilling soil and pulling weeds this year. Been a long time since I got to enjoy a salad from my harvest. To be clear, this isn't me whining about a lack of feedback. I've gotten plenty on this story already, and I'm grateful for it. The issue is that I used to be able to get hype for this all by myself, and I'm having a harder time doing that.
Third, I may be getting desensitized to the boost I used to get from the numbers. I found word counts and Nanowrimo stats to be pretty exciting a few years ago, and I still think they're a valuable tool, but I need something more, I think. Maybe blocking out four months for writing sessions isn't the right call anymore. I'm not sure what to do instead though.
I read once that Hirohiko Araki got really disillusioned with the quality of his work while he was doing JoJo Part 6, which probably explains why he took so many drastic measures near the end, and why Part 7 is so different from the ones before it. The thing is, I liked Part 6 just fine, so I never understood what it was that made him feel like the work was getting stale. Maybe, objectively, there was never a problem, but he'd been doing the comic for about 15 years, and just needed to do something different for his own sanity. I'm starting to think I've reached my own Part 6 crisis, only I'm not sure how to resolve it. For now, I'm just going to stick to my plan, because I know it works.
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I recently saw a heavy criticism of The Beach saying "it's the single least realistic portrayal of teenagers on television: spoiled, rich kids don't actively shun Zuko for having a disfiguring scar on his face, no one tries to start shit with Azula over the volleyball game, teenagers referring to themselves as teenagers, a teen boy tells people not to make a mess, a bunch of 14-16 year-olds sit in a circle and psychoanalyze each other, everything else about the campfire scene." Your thoughts?
:’) that someone looks at the Beach and dismisses it for being “unrealistic” by whatever their cultural standards are is probably enough of a sign of the irrelevance of said person’s opinion. I mean, obviously they’re free to think what they will, but...
Fire Nation society is not American society. I’m going blind here, maybe this person isn’t American at all, but somehow I mostly see such kinds of narrow-minded criticism from first-worlders who are seldom exposed to lifestyles outside their particular, contemporary bubble of experiences.
Now then, let’s get into the actual debate: Fire Nation society values violence quite a lot. Fire Nation society is full of people who saw Zuko’s literal Agni Kai burning scene, and didn’t look away: the only character who does is Iroh, a very obvious hint by the writers that Iroh has discarded the cruel moral values the rest of the Fire Nation upholds.
With this in mind, a boy with a scarred face might earn all sorts of “ews” from our societies, damn right. From Fire Nation society, though? If even watching how the burn is inflicted didn’t bother most of them, why would the result be a problem? If anything, I wouldn’t be surprised if people with burn scars are even seen more attractive because it implies they were caught in violent scuffles with fire and still survived? Of course, the argument might go that Zuko’s burn is meant to be a mark of shame... but it’s a mark of shame for PRINCE Zuko. For that mysterious boy with the emo haircut in Ember Island, whose real identity is a mystery? It is shown, instead, to result in this reaction:
Now then, we could say that this is meant to be a jab by the creators and writers at Zuko’s hordes of fangirls, because frankly, Book 3 has several instances of groups of girls swooning over Zuko and it might be what they were going for. In this case, though, they’re swooning over him WITHOUT knowing who he is, as opposed to the fangirls in Nightmares and Daydreams. So, while it absolutely can be inspired on the many Zuko fangirls the staff knew about, this actually ends up serving to characterize a society, a culture: they don’t think his scar makes him unattractive. It’s blatantly stated that their reaction is the opposite. So, instead of thinking “oh god that’s so unrealistic”, how about we actually stop trying to measure everything by our standards and consider that this could be an element of WORLDBUILDING...? :’)
(Also, I’m pretty sure there’s a fair share of privileged young women in our current society who think Kylo Ren was hot as hell with a huge scar across his face... are those people not real, by any chance? :’D If anything, they’re living proof that girls swooning over a scarred boy in ATLA are absolutely feasible, no matter if not everyone shares their opinion)
Continues under the cut becasue this got long....
Now then, Azula is shown to take the Kuai ball game too far. She outright causes the ball, in the final kick, to burst into flames and burns the net. Going by Chan and Ruon Jian, these kids are privileged idiots, why lie... but are these privileged idiots stupid enough to see a girl flying three feet into the air, kicking a firebent ball and then giving a foreboding speech, and say “OKAY WE’RE GONNA PICK A FIGHT WITH YOU FOR BEING SO COMPETITIVE!”???? I mean... honestly. Why would anyone do this? Azula turned an inoffensive Kuai ball game into a battlefield singlehandedly: THIS, as well, is meant to be a display of characterization. That people don’t take the game so seriously, that they wouldn’t pick a fight with her because she’s dangerous or because they just don’t care as much as she does... it’s characterizing Fire Nation people every bit as much as it characterizes Azula.
Azula and Zuko are both shown reacting in ridiculous ways to casual things in this episode: Azula takes the game too far, potentially stages the burning down of a house in retaliation for being rejected by a boy, Zuko is hysterical and jealous and snaps at Mai over stupid things... it’s, again, a matter of showing how poorly adjusted these characters are. They’re not normal kids. They DON’T behave like normal kids. Normal, privileged kids in the Fire Nation, are kids like Chan and Ruon Jian. The episode literally gives you the chance to see Fire Nation society for what it is, in a way no other episode does... and because it’s not like our societies, it’s somehow wrong?
... Also, teenagers referring to themselves as teenagers is somehow unrealistic? I mean... is it nowadays? I don’t think any teenagers had a problem with saying they were teens in my youth :’DDD literally remember MCR released a song called Teenagers and a lot of us loved it to pieces. What exactly is so outrageous about it? Might be that this worked better in the mid-00′s, but I hardly think this makes no sense? Aang refers to himself as a kid earlier in the show, is that unrealistic too and worth rebuking a whole episode over? Are all teenagers supposed to be pretending to be grown-ups, like so many 16-year-olds on Tumblr who always talk like they’ve figured out the world and try to impose rules on fully-grown adults upon whom they have absolutely no power? :’DDDDD Yeah, I think this particular point is a stupid thing to make a fuss over. Honestly, it is.
Chan tells people not to make a mess = unrealistic. Ha. Did this person ignore his reactions at the chaos Azula, Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee caused in his house? “YOU BROKE MY NANA’S VASE!!!”, anyone? Like... I’m sorry, but this IS characterization, yet again! This shows Chan is a spoiled brat who wants to stay in his family’s good graces. The party isn’t at all as crazy and wild as you’d expect from, again, an American teenage party... and why? Because, for one thing, Chan is clearly afraid of the consequences of too much chaos in the beach house: this implies fear of authority, of his parents, perhaps even his grandparents.
For another, again, FIRE NATION SOCIETY: what does this clever critic know, by any chance, of Nazi Germany’s Hitler Youth? I’ve watched a few documentaries about it, and basically if you were a boy and you weren’t in Hitler Youth, you were no one. You were worthless. And what happened in Hitler Youth? Conditioning to the extreme. These kids were taught all the alt-right ideology that Tumblr despises, and they were made to believe it was an undeniable reality. Were there cases of kids who didn’t like it, kids who didn’t approve of it? Surely. But the general idea of Hitler Youth was to educate every kid to behave in the way Hitler considered appropriate, to the point where “the notion "Germany must live" even if they (members of the HJ) had to die was "hammered" into them.”
This is, of course, an extreme example and I’m sure Fire Nation education wasn’t that extreme because we saw it for ourselves, it’s not. But a slightly milder version of it? That’s absolutely feasible and consistent with what we see in The Headband. Therefore, kids getting high and drunk at a party? Maybe that kind of thing simply DOESN’T happen in a Fire Nation party? :’) Maybe they’re taught that those kinds of things are off-limits to anyone under a certain age (or outright forbidden, might be the case with drugs), and as they live in a tyrannical society that priorizes the Fire Lord and his decrees above all else, where his word is treated as that of a god, even mischievous teenagers refuse to act out? :’D oh, what an implausible concept, this just can’t possibly make any sense! Hitler Youth is unrealistic too!
Lastly, that a bunch of kids would sit in a circle psychoanalyzing each other seems implausible to this person is actually laughable for me. Not only have I constantly found myself, from my early teenage years to current days, serving as some sort of unofficial therapist for many of my friends, who share their woes and ask me for advice (whether they’ll heed it or not), most importantly, I once had an experience with a friend, back in high school, much like what happens with these kids in The Beach, after I’d spent years doing a lot of post-depression introspection. I shared a lot of stuff I didn’t often talk about, and beats me WHY I felt completely comfortable sharing it with my friend that day, but I did. She understood me, listened, offered her opinion, and we talked about her problems too. This happened when I was 15-16. If this person has never experienced such situation... why, that’s not anyone’s business. But it’s certainly not their business to determine this just DOESN’T happen, to anyone, ever. I can safely say it does, to people who do have problems and who sometimes just need a friendly shoulder to rely on. Maybe this critic’s life is just so perfect they’ve never had to share their woes with anyone else :’) I’m afraid that doesn’t invalidate those of us who are different, and it doesn’t invalidate the possibility that those four could talk, as they did, without breaking characterization, in the scene of the fireplace at the beach.
ANYWAYS...
Saying that a show about a group of kids who save the world and then effectively become leaders of such world, facing very little opposition in the process, is unrealistic because “teenagers aren’t like that becuase I wasn’t like that as a teenager” may be one of the most ridiculous and shortsighted things I’ve seen in this fandom, AND I’VE SEEN A LOT OF RIDICULOUS AND SHORTSIGHTED THINGS. A person’s experiences are NOT universal, regardless of how widespread their culture may be. More importantly, fiction does NOT have to abide by rules established by our current society’s state and cultural values. ATLA, as it is, is a completely different world from our own, regardless of its inspiration in many Asian cultures.
I, personally, find it a lot more unrealistic that Fire Lord Zuko can become Fire Lord without much in the way of visible protesting or boycotting when he was a banished prince who didn’t even win in his Agni Kai against Azula since it’s Katara who ends up defeating her and, as far as the rules go, Azula technically won even if not in the most dignified of ways. I find it even more unrealistic that LOK tells us Zuko was Fire Lord successfully for 70+ years and the Fire Nation has been fully reformed into a non-warmongering country despite the 100+ years of indoctrination started by Sozin’s rule. That this gets swept under a rug, not only in the neatly wrapped finale that leaves a thousand unanswered questions, but in the sequel show that merely confirms Zuko succeeded and shows NOTHING of how he managed to reform such a fucked up society...? That is a thousand times more important to me than “privileged kids aren’t acting like privileged kids OMG!”. Honestly, you want privileged kids abusing all their privileges in our society? Go watch Gossip Girl, I genuinely recommend it. You want something that proposes a completely different possibility and a glance at what a society guided by a tyrannical dictator looks like? Feel free to watch The Beach again with a completely different focus and MAYBE you’ll understand what the writers were going for.
If this person happens to see my answer, I hope they learn that worldbuilding, for a storyteller, entails CREATING a world that isn’t necessarily like the one we’re familiar with. There are multiple layers to such a world, and society and culture are some of them. Not all cultures and societies work the same way, which is part of why sometimes you’ll find behaviors from people who belong to wholly different cultures and wind up perplexed because whatever they’re doing is completely unfamiliar for you. Are there any universal behaviors in humans? Maybe! But in a work of FICTION, even the most universal of behaviors can be changed, deleted, altered however the writer sees fit! :’D it’s not a novel concept, and as far as logical fallacies are concerned, this show features a whole slew of those that have nothing to do with this peculiar sense of “realism”, fallacies that absolutely can and should be called out. Namely, things that contradict the internal logic of the show, rather than things that are incompatible with OUR world. Portraying a world that’s very different from ours, on virtually every level you can think of? That’s called creativity, not lack of realism. Please learn the difference.
#anon#... excuse me#but I got really unnerved by this one#just wtf#if this is supposed to be some sort of important critic#rather than a random someone on Tumblr#please don't ever watch anything they do ever again#realism ffs#BELIEVABILITY and realism are not the same damn thing#and solid worldbuilding requires the former not the latter#god I'll just#go chill#why#just why
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following up on your wastly superios republic city, how would you rewrite asami's role in this new city, the city related plot, and her relationship with korra?(i cannot imagine you'dd want to keep the terrible love trialngle for this story). do you think opening their relationship on a romantic note with clear attraction from the start or have it develop more slowly over the course of the first book would better?
I don’t usually talk much about Asami here on Tumblr because I have lots of criticisms of her character and Korrasami, and this site enables such things to be passed along out of context and co-opted for agenda-driven bashing. I don’t think Asami or Korrasami are any worse than any of LoK’s other failures, and at least it’s bad writing for a good cause. Unlike Iroh II, who's just bad writing. Heyo!
Also, I’ve mainly been thinking about Book Air with all my talk of Republic City, but discussing the development of the dynamic between Korra and Asami is going to take us beyond that, and so outside of Republic City.
So let’s see how much I can answer this question without stepping over my self-imposed line.
First of all, I would introduce Asami independently of Mako, and you’re right, I wouldn’t bother with a love triangle. I don’t like that LoK ended on a romantic moment for either Book Air's climax or the finale finale, because the whole first episode is completely devoid of romantic matters or potential suitors. It’s one thing for AtLA, where Katara provides the opening narration and Aang’s crush on her is established at their first meeting; their getting together is the culmination of their respective coming-of-age arcs, which is why Book Fire stretches Kataang out so much and so nonsensically.
Korra's journey is never really about romance. It’s about seeing the world and making connections; Tenzin, her guide into the wider world, is the one who narrates the opening to her story. So I’d expect her final scene to be about all the friends she’d made and her place in the world, not a single romance and a vacation to the Spirit World. But Korra’s main character arc is over by the end of Book Spirits, anyway, so I can understand just ripping off AtLA for something feel-good. Also, considering the limitations in what could be shown, I guess they wanted as many parallels to AtLA as possible to make sure everyone got that Korra and Asami are romantic.
So, with the benefit of hindsight and the goal of endgame Korrasami, we can introduce Asami earlier to give her proper prominence. In the first episode, while careening through the city, Korra encounters Asami. There is no blushing or giggling or anything when Korra and Asami meet, because that's not how Korra or Asami react to attraction. I'm thinking we can replace the whole thing with the hobo and the illegal fishing, since that material can be covered later; perhaps Asami buys Korra food when she sees Korra has no money? But before they can exchange names, something happens that sends them off on a short adventure, and then they get separated.
In episode 2, instead of encountering Mako and Bolin while trying to break out of Air Island to see Probending, Korra encounters Asami again. Asami is likewise sneaking out to see Probending, and she’s a parallel to Korra in that she’s a victim of social isolation. Asami recognized Korra, gives a shout, and they exchange names and bond as fellow probender-geeks. Once that’s done, the girls somehow wind up meeting Mako and Bolin, Korra gets the chance to join the team, etc. Asami would help convince Mako to let Korra play. The end result is Korra with a big group of friends, no romantic hints about anyone (other than maybe Bolin having the hots for her, a situation that will be temporary), and an explicit connection between Korra starting to ‘get’ Airbending and the perspectives offered by her new friends. Perhaps Mako or Bolin shout some advice that gets the circle-walking to click for her, or it could be another thing for Asami to do.
This would be explicit foreshadowing for the Book Air finale, where Korra uses Airbending for the first time to defeat Amon. But instead of Mako being the one in danger, it’s all Korra’s friends, and the scene would be set up as an explicit parallel to the one in the second episode. Korra achieves freedom through her connections, people who show her new sides of herself and the world.
But we're getting ahead of ourselves. For most of Book Air, I think Asami and Korra can be partners in discovering Republic City. The Bending Brothers can introduce them to some new element, and the girls react to it in similar but disparate ways. Asami can sometimes be a bit of a snob, while Korra can be more into getting dirty or eating nasty food or belching or whatever. But they still do get moments of going to a dance hall together, getting pulled into street racing together, helping each other chase the corruption out of Probending, etc. Still, a little distance comes between the two, as Korra starts to see herself connecting better with the boys, especially Bolin. If we want to deal with Bolin trying to woo Korra and it not working out, this is the place to do it.
However, rather than romance and a love triangle, the main conflict between Korra’s Krew is Asami being courted by the Equalists. As I said in my other post, rather than the Equalists kicking things off with criminal activity and a direct confrontation with Korra, I’d like them to be a running subplot that only explodes at the end of the season. I think Asami could be a good viewpoint character into that, as she starts to learn and hear about the Equalists- and it will eventually be revealed that Hiroshi has been setting this up for her, to manipulate her. Remember, in my vision, he’s the one who got Amon to adopt the rhetoric of saving the oppressed by eliminating Benders.
It starts with Asami thinking it’s silly, then she starts to acknowledge that they have some good points even if they’re wrong about being against all Benders. Perhaps Asami explains to Korra about some of the good points, and Korra is skeptical but admits that the Bender gangs are a problem. I think this should come to a head in a similar manner to the cartoon when Hiroshi comes under some kind of suspicion. Instead of getting tangled in the love triangle, Mako and Bolin side with Korra right away, and Asami starts to wonder if the Benders really are oppressing her. She knows she’s sheltered and naive, and Hiroshi puts into her head that Korra and the Bending Brothers have been taking advantage of her sweetness and wealth. Asami's been paying for all their adventures, after all, and the others seem closer to each other than to her.
It still ends with Hiroshi’s villainy being revealed, and Asami siding with good guys over him. But here, it’s about Asami siding with her friends, rather than just Mako. This is all still without romance, but it’s laying the seeds.
Things continue on from there, and the only major change I feel the need to call out is that the team doesn’t split up for the final battle. They’re all together, and as I said, Korra has to save all her friends with Airbending. And there's no Iroh II, because he's just boring pointless fan-service who detracts from the other characters.
For Book Spirits, I’d toss out Asami’s whole subplot. I used to have an epic post on ASN (which I saved) describing how it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, but you can just take my word on it for now. If we do something similar to my Spiritual Eco-Terrorist Unalaq idea, then we can turn Asami’s part of bringing Korra back away from extremism into a parallel of Korra convincing Asami to turn against the Equalists. This book also sees a minimizing of Mako and Bolin, since part of the story is going to take place outside of Republic City. Asami has more reason to leave, so she emerges as Korra’s strongest friend in this book. Bolin could still get mixed up Varrick, if we want to do that subplot, but we’re completely skipping the whole thing of Varrick trying to steal Asami’s company. It's just filler, and the themes of Book Spirits deserve more focus.
Instead, we say that Asami has been steadily rebuilding up Sato Industries in the background of Book Spirits, so she’s in a position to leave it running when she goes with Korra on the Airbender Recruitment Tour. Again, I’m thinking we leave Mako and Bolin behind. Or, if Bolin went off with Varrick at the end of Book Spirits, as I suggested in that Unalaq post, either just Mako is left behind or else he goes with the girls to try to get over his brother being gone. They support him during his loss, and he maybe develops a real bond with Jinora’s future boyfriend, Whatshisname, rather than that subplot being unceremoniously dropped. Eventually, Bolin and Varrick would come back into the story, although maybe not until Book Balance.
Also, Book Change is where we start to have Korra and Asami blushing at each other and making surprising vows of devotion to each other. As Korra explores romance, in parallel to Jinora, we could get some advice from Tenzin and maybe even discussion of how Aang changed the nature of Air Nomad culture by accepting the idea of family units. At the end, when Korra is injured and Asami practically proposes marriage, it won’t come out of left field; it will feel like a culmination. And Korra gives an explicit refusal, our cliffhanger for that subplot.
Hm, perhaps we can also properly introduce Kuvira while we’re here? She can join the Krew as an ally and friend, and part of what has Asami starting to think about Korra as something more than a friend is that Kuvira is explicitly trying to seduce Korra for fun. That might be amusing. Or it could be stupid. It is a love triangle, after all. It's easy enough to cut if we can't make it work, even if the voice actresses have already recorded their lines.
Anyway, as we launch into our final season, Korra starts to recover to find that the Metalbending chick who was (maybe) trying to seduce her is now leading an imperialist conquest of the Earth Kingdom, and also a new Amon is back in Republic City trying to bring down the government. This new Amon is a creation of Kuvira, to give her an excuse to invade the United Republic as a pacifying force. Korra and Asami have to bring down Amon II, and then also Kuvira. It’s very tragic that they have to beat up their former friend, but not too tragic because it turns out that Kuvira is a real jerk.
Timing-wise, as I mentioned in my Hiroshi post, he dies saving Asami from Amon II. This happens before the final battle, so we get to see Asami mourning for a bit as she and Korra go after Kuvira in a new sub-arc. She emerges ready to confess her love to Korra. They get together, and then Korra rallies all her friends and allies across the world to defeat Kuvira and restore freedom to the galaxy. The end sees Korra and Asami together, as romantic partners, amidst all their friends. The End. Huzzah!
Hopefully, that showed how a functional Korrasami arc could be done that makes good use of their characters and frees them from the really janky storytelling that plagues most of LoK. Most of the problem is that LoK seemed intent on giving Asami something separate to do, rather than properly integrating her into things. For all that the storytellers claim to like Asami and Korrasami, it's stunning how little of either -- even in terms of friendship -- there is to the plots and story arcs.
Ah, but there's the line. I shall now back off, rather than crossing it. Yay for me.
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Thoughts of the Droid: Star Wars Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker
Hello, people of Tumblr! How have they been in these first weeks of the new year? As always, I hope very well. On this occasion, I bring to you all my opinions and thoughts about the last movie of 2019: Star Wars Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker
This film that closes a whole new trilogy that saw its beginnings in 2015 and that also comes to close more than forty years of a story that has been expanded to the point of exhaustion, has received destructive criticism. And it is not for less, since having the honor of being the last film of a main chronology within the canon, made it have very high expectations. It is also influenced by the fact that we all expected this film to redeem the new trilogy, after the disaster that was Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. Is it true that we are in one of the worst films in the saga? Or is there something in it that saves it from such a qualifier? Stay on my review to find out.
WARNING: NOT SPOILER FREE. Read at your own risk
Starting with the review, what did I think of the movie? Short answer: they really fell short to finish more than forty years of history within Star Wars. An enjoyable film, but with the defect of being too simple. Now let's analyze this movie in more detail.
Characters: What can I say about this point? Being honest with you, the whole new generation of characters in this new trilogy was trashed and the potential they had was very wasted. Of course, I am not facing characters that are terribly written, but they also lack genuine development and evolution. It does not feel that they have advanced and that they have had that essential journey, full of learning, that they face challenges that make them discover what they are capable of achieving, as well as knowing their own limits and exceeding them; challenges and situations that make them grow as people and especially that have characteristics that make them identifiable with the viewer.
Above all, the viewer is interested in the lives of these characters. And therefore, I can't think of them as characters that are memorable. Of course, all of them have entered the legacy of Star Wars, along with the fact that they are canonical characters, and no doubt several fans will hold them in high esteem. It will not be so in my case.
We have Ben Solo, aka Kylo Ren, who in the previous film had had a genuine and interesting development (being the most salvageable of Episode VIII), reaching the point of eliminating his master Snoke and that he remained as the new Supreme Leader . Here, in The Rise of Skywalker, he suffers a huge setback of character, being as a mere servant of Emperor Palpatine. Do you remember the scene in Episode VIII, when Kylo Ren, furious, destroyed his helmet? How that particular scene was the representation that he no longer wanted to be left alone as a shadow of Darth Vader and now he wanted to be the only master of the Dark Side of the Force? Well, in this movie you can forget about it, since in one scene, Kylo returns to repair his helmet and symbolically, he accepts himself as an apprentice of Palpatine.
We have Rey, who really, was the character who had everything to be the most interesting and the saddest of all is that she was the most wasted. And it is even more worrying that this happens with what is the main protagonist of this recent trilogy. What I remember most about Rey is that she is a woman with a good heart, with a very strict ideal of justice and a strong moral; Accompanying these traits, there is the fact that she possesses an enormous dominion over Force, whose mystery was revealed to us in this film, but I will leave that for later.
What I will mention now is that Rey remained with those features that I mentioned earlier and we never saw her leave that mold so well defined, but that in the long run, as we can see, she ended up harming her character. In her favor, Rey certainly delivers a couple of positive messages to a new generation: That, you are a descendant of a person whose legacy has been of only evil, does not define you as a bad person per se. What defines you is the actions you do for yourself and for others. In the same way, she delivers the message that, as difficult as it may seem, one must never succumb to darker desires or follow a path that is easy and thus become corrupted at all. We must always remain in the ideals of goodness.
What to say about the other characters? In my opinion, the only ones that remained in their essence and that it is pleasant to see them on screen again, are Leia Organa, Lando Calrissian, Luke Skywalker and Emperor Palpatine. Sadly, the only two characters that was given a dignified closure was Leia and Luke and the other two were disappointing. In the case of Leia, we really have to recognize it, it was a sad and very emotional farewell, where she sacrifices her life in order to make Ben, her son, come into reason, which in the end if it resulted in the redemption of said character (somewhat forced, but redemption after all).
In the case of Luke, even when he appears for a brief moment, his presence is equally enjoyable, especially that scene where he holds his lightsaber, demanding Rey more respect for the weapon of a Jedi, being basically a scene where they put to Rian Johnson in his place instead for that other scene where Luke disparaged his own saber. With Luke, I think it would have been good if they took advantage of what they had established in Episode VIII, where they gave indications that the spirits of the Jedi had powers beyond the unimaginable. But in the same way, it is appreciated that Luke appeared, practically with his personality of yesteryear intact.
With Emperor Palpatine, aka Darth Sidious, I have a problem. I will not deny that it was great to see it on screen, mostly because of the great performance of Ian McDiarmid, which at times reminded me of the Darth Sidious of Episode III, with all his energy and his aura of evil and hunger for power. However, this does not help much, when you consider that his return is only for the film to have a conflict and an enemy to win. It is even worse than when you see it in action, it is not a real threat to the good.
About other characters, better not talk. But I will do it anyway. Do you remember General Hux? That General of the First Order who in Episode VII imposed terror and respect and who in Episode VIII suffered a degradation that turned him into a clown? Well, in this movie it still suffers another degradation, only now it is reduced to a weeping and traitorous coward. And what deep motives did he have for committing such an act? Realize that the First Order was wrong in imposing a tyrannical government? No, he simply wanted Kylo Ren not to be the Supreme Leader. *Facepalm* It is quite curious that the commander who killed him, just by appearing in very few scenes, was a much more memorable character than Hux himself, since this commander did have the ruthless attitude and personality that usually exists between Baddies of Star Wars. That and also influences that it has a slight resemblance to Grand Moff Tarkin helps a lot.
With Finn and Poe Dameron, I have no problem, since we saw them interact together in most of the film. In fact, all the discussion and conflict that both have feels quite real and well acted. In essence, two men in a war, where both seek practical solutions to a conflict of galactic scale, only that each has a different opinion. Although yes, both fight for the same cause. It was especially successful, that both finally resolved their differences and that Poe recognized that he needed help when he was appointed new leader of the resistance. Both supported each other in difficult times and fought side by side, showing an authentic friendship between the two. Well done.
About the soldiers of the First Order, along with the Sith Troopers and the Knights of Ren? They only serve to fill screen, be defeated in an insultingly easy way and especially sell figures. Uselessness at its best. Thanks for participating guys, keep trying.
To finish this point, I will mention a little to C3PO, which serves as a comic relief character in this film. I am quite aware that was the role of the character in previous installments, but I feel that here they exaggerated his role too much, since instead of giving a couple of laughs, he ended up being irritating; In addition, the fact that the other characters treat him as a ballast or a useless object, denotes a very disrespectful treatment towards this character.
In general, the film has a huge variety of characters, but does NOT know what to do with them and does not know how to give them development and evolution so that they feel much more part of the story. In his favor, the film does know how to relate the characters to each other, especially the good guys so they feel like a huge family, despite their multiple differences.
Story: How to define it? Without a doubt the words that come to mind, would be those of a story made in a hurried way and full of conveniences of the script for this advance. The worst part is that they don't even bother making deus ex machina more subtle.
An example of this, we have Rey who discovers from nothing how to use that Sith dagger, with an infallible intuition and precision that makes you wonder if it was guided by the Force or is the product of a poor script. In this case, it would have been better if they had presented us with an earlier scene, where Rey, with genuine curiosity, inspects that dagger to discover that measuring instrument hidden in that weapon.
By the way, who forged the dagger, must have had powers of Nostradamus to know in what position the remains of the second Death Star would remain.
And since I mentioned the dagger, it is just as convenient how they found that relic, falling into a kind of sand trap that overlooked a series of underground caves. And what the hell with that alien snake scene? I imagined that they would face this creature and in the end we have a slightly strange scene, where Rey, making use of the Force heals a wound of said animal. Many would think that this scene is unnecessary, but honestly I don't think so. Yes, the scene is somewhat misplaced, but it has its justification, since later it was established as another power of Rey and that in fact would use to save the life of her rival Kylo Ren.
One of the most controversial points is precisely that Rey was really Emperor Palpatine's granddaughter. Now, the problem, in fact two problems with the origin of Rey, are these: first, Palpatine is the type of character who ambitions power only for him and no one else. In his obsession with getting it and keeping it, that he has hardly taken care of having a family. Second, that Rey was Palpatine's granddaughter first emerged as a fan theory, after the premiere of Episode VII. If the scriptwriters took a theory of fans, that only means one thing: they were devoid of ideas and how to use Palpatine's character and relate it to the story.
Again, in favor of the story, the scenes between Rey and Kylo really show their eternal conflict, where the Sith seeks for Rey to join the Dark Side and accept her dark heritage. Rey for her part, seeks that Kylo pay for the crimes he did, although deep in her heart, she wants Kylo to return to be Ben Solo, to be in the Bright side of the Force. Their interactions are well achieved and in fact they maintain a certain interest in the viewer. By the way, when Palpatine has them both subjected and absorbs the vital energy of the two to regenerate himself, he mentions that the union of Rey and Kylo is a kind of Special Force ... too bad he just mentioned it and history doesn't bother to explain it thoroughly.
Despite what has been said in the negative points, I think it is also a pretty decent story, since, unlike in Episode VIII, which the film did not know what story to tell, here in this film it concentrates quite well in telling only one story: the search and destruction of Emperor Palpatine and the First Order and thus return to the galaxy the time of peace that he needed so much. In addition to telling that story, it also shows us other subplots, without these being fully fought with the main narrative.
Visuals and Special Effects: We can be calm. If there is something that has always characterized the Star Wars franchise are the special effects, and that are always at the forefront with the latest advances in this area. And in Episode IX could not be the exception. The special effects ensure that you are immersed in the different worlds that are shown in the film and even more, they ensure that the spectators feel part of a distant galaxy. The recreation of extraterrestrial beings, as well as abandoned ships and sites were phenomenal in my opinion. I highlight in particular the scenario of the destroyed Second Death Star, which feels like a huge place (quite obvious if we consider that it was similar in size to a small planet), a reflection of a dark era of yesteryear and also serves as a preamble, a reflection of Rey with herself and the destiny she will have to face.
As always, visuals and special effects have a A+ insured.
Action: Unfortunately, the action on this occasion was quite a bit dull. Of course, there are sequences of action very well achieved, such as the persecution in the desert, where soldiers of the First Order hunted our protagonists in some motorcycle tanks quite adapted to arid terrain and with the peculiarity of catapulting towards air to one of the crew (equipped with jet-packs). Certainly that sequence of action is very entertaining and exciting to watch; of how our protagonists face a group that can attack on land and air without mercy.
However, many other scenes remained to be polished, in particular I want to mention the battles with lightsabers. And it is that they lack the emotion and impact that was seen in the prequel trilogy, where the action was rampant and they were beautifully choreographed. Here in this movie, I feel that the intention was to honor the fighting in the style of Episode IV, which was obviously slow and only hit the lightsabers. Even so, these fight scenes between Rey and Kylo were soft, where in my opinion there was a lot of improvisation and hence filming as it is to get the film to market as soon as possible.
A rather negative point in the action was the final battle between Rey and Emperor Palpatine. Being a very disappointing battle, since the battle was for more emotion, however the script resolves it very easily, with Rey acquiring the strength of the Jedi and reflecting the Sith rays on Darth Sidious to end him definitively. Apart from that, the scene is not entirely clear: if the Jedi gave their strength to Rey, or if it was she who suddenly acquired that power to end Palpatine.
Fighting with spaceships and Destroyers of the First Order also suffer from this problem. And it is that by witnessing thousands and thousands of ships, which could easily have demolished the Destroyers without problem, they were in short sequences of action, where we hardly see them maneuvering and firing. It was to be a battle of epic proportions, much like the trilogy of The Lord of the Rings. Even with everything, the action can be enjoyable and is also one of the strongest points of the film.
In conclusion, Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, is a film that while it can be enjoyed, it is definitely one of the lowest quality films within the franchise. Of course, it is far from being the worst of this saga, but it also does not have many elements that make it a memorable movie. In certain aspects it is a decent film and it certainly does not give you headaches when you see it.
However, it is sad to see that this new trilogy has been wasted in this way, and it is even sadder to see that it really had the potential not only to please new generations, but even to unite old and new generations of fans to enjoy a renewed air of this franchise. If you ask me, even though J.J. Abrams directs this movie, without a doubt the fault lies more with Rian Johnson. Abrams, in Episode VII had planted the seed of what would be expected would be a fruitful tree, of new stories, adventures, and characters (and money). And Rian Johnson figuratively destroyed the tree to plant his own that was already dead. Definitely all his ravings began to take charge of this new trilogy and has condemned it to be at a low point.
If you liked Episodes VII and VIII, you might like this last chapter of the saga. If on the contrary you are more fan of the previous canon, for your own sake avoid this movie. I meanwhile, I give this movie 2 of 5 Spirits of The Force. Sadly the force is not with us now in this last film of the main saga.
Greetings
Rankakiu
#star wars the rise of skywalker#star wars ix#episode ix#the rise of skywalker#rey skywalker#rey of jakku#ben solo#kylo ren#poe dameron#finn star wars#luke skywalker#leia organa#emperor palpatine#darth sidious#daisy ridley#adam driver#oscar isaac#john boyega#mark hamill#carrie fisher#ian mcdiarmid#star wars spoilers#rise of skywaker spoilers#movie#movie review#opinions#thoughts#thoughts of the droid#rankakiu
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8, 13, 14, 21, 48 FOR GANG MARCE
the excessively detailed headcanon tumblr meme / accepting
nu religion marce, aka, the Worst Marce TM.
8. favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging
marcelo has several indulgences in this verse, but i’d say sex is definitely the main one. he likes to have sex and is, in fact, quite promiscuous and liberal in the way he goes about picking sexual partners – as long as you’re willing and he is into you, it’s rather easy to get into bed with him (or a restroom, at the very least). it’s a matter of asking, really. when it’s not sex he’s indulging himself with, it’s cigars or drinking or good looking jewelry (it’s minor but he’s fond of rings and chains), though he’s more controlled about these than he ever is about sex.
indulgences are fine, in his opinion. everyone has them and should be allowed to have them, so long as you’re hurting no one in the process. when you put it in context, it’s almost to be expected that he has the few that he does, since every other aspect of his life is so stringent. marcelo is also very aware of where the limits are and he thinks can tell where to draw the line (and to be fair, he usually can).
13. sexual orientation? and, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?
marcelo is bisexual and open (since he was 15) and careless about who knows. he is indifferent to people’s opinions, but if you ever make comments in front of him (or within the earshot of someone who knows him), you should be ready for some consequences. marcelo can tolerate a lot of things, but not this. it was especially bad when he was younger, since he was much more volatile than he is now, where he just might scare the shit out of you with a few choice words.
he honestly has no big, philosophical thoughts on sexual orientation. it’s people’s personal business, so it needs to be respected and accepted, and if you don’t do that, he doesn’t like you very much.
14. physical abnormalities? (both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)
as far as function goes, marcelo is able-bodied. he’s a werepuma, so he also counts with a nifty healing factor that keeps him more or less safe from most (if not all) injuries and illnesses.
from an aesthetic view point, marcelo has… scars. which technically, because of the healing, shouldn’t actually be there. particularly comes to mind snake bite scars, sizable depressed points (from the two snake fangs) where the skin is darker and more tender. he has these scars on several parts of his body, including his throat.
they kind of litter his body, but its the kind of thing you don’t notice until it’s pointed out. and when it is, you start to see it everywhere.
21. turn-ons? turn-offs?
it’s surprise to no one, but marcelo is a little bit shallow. if you’re attractive looking, you’re already there with him, honestly. i could go on and on about his types, but i don’t think it’s necessary. more interesting is the attitudes that turn him on. marcelo likes people that are straightforward. he likes imposing men and assertive women, though in the latter case he does have a certain weakness for sweeter, softer personalities (without being shy), or just coyness in general. with the assertiveness though it provides a nice contrast, since he actually is very dominant in bed and prefers more submissive partners he can take care of. experience is a turn on. being vocal in bed is a turn on. dirty talk can definitely be a turn on. for men in particular, he likes men that are bigger than him (height/muscles etc), but that will bottom for him. and honestly, if you’re older than him (regardless of gender) – that’s sexy.
turn offs are easier to explain. talks about feelings for one, or about getting into a relationship, or about second encounters (which are rare, unless he’s convinced you won’t actually make something out of what certainly is nothing to him). inexperienced people, shy people (specifically demureness – shyness can be a bit cute in small doses), basically people he’s certain wouldn’t be able to handle him. and when he finally hits the age he is in (28 in this verse) basically everyone below 24 is a turn off.
also, if you’re too white, well –
48. how do they express love?
sike! he doesn’t express love at all! marcelo reyes has no feelings. not in this verse, he doesn’t – except when he does.
but really, marcelo’s love is concentrated on a few specific things: his family, his community, and his god. all his love for these specific things takes up all of his time and leaves him with absolutely no desire to involve himself romantically with anyone. so, overall, it kind of seems like he loves no one, because marcelo’s love is very “big picture”, so to speak. his love comes in the form of labor, of work towards benefitting those he cares about, but it isn’t warm, or affectionate in any level except on occasion, so it can (and it often is) overlooked by even the recipients of it (with the exception of his god, who does notice). which he doesn’t mind, because he doesn’t do the things he does for recognition of any sort.
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Parsee loves her big strong wife
Suddenly, a Touhou fanfic. I love YuuParu, I’m gay, so here they are
Does it even make sense to post fanfics on Tumblr when the AO3 link is right there, honest question
Word count: 2k-ish
Rating: Safe, but Parsee wants to get destroyed
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16336625
Crawling out of her hut that morning after a humble breakfast, Parsee’s feelings were mixed, as usual, about the silence that greeted her. She climbed up to her bridge and started her watch for the day. Silence comforted her; with no one else here, she had no one to be jealous of and her agitated mind stayed quiet for a change. But at the same time, she did feel jealous of those who got to wake up with their loved ones. Parsee ground her teeth and uttered a curse, even if she did belong to that group of people occasionally. But not today. How dared they. She would wake them pay.
Long, lonely hours went by as Parsee observed the river below and calmed down. It was probably more accurate to call it a moat with how little it moved, but if Parsee was going to spend her life or whatever around it, it better be a river. Its slowness, however, was also what Parsee found relaxing about it. Little trickles played a song just for her.
Until her ears twitched at a distant sound from town. A rumbling that quickly came closer and closer. Countless small stomps. Parsee braced herself, but nothing could have prepared her for the group of oni children that ran up to her like they were family. They did not want to cross the bridge, did they? It would be difficult to stop them considering their strength and number. How jealous.
“It’s the bridge princess!”
“Hi~”
“The boss was right, she’s so pretty!”
Parsee frowned. “You’re not here to cross my bride, are you?” she said.
The kids laughed and some shook their heads. One spoke up. “The boss said we could play here because the bridge princess would protect us from spirits and the mean spider!” Would she now.
“Stop it with the bridge princess, my name is Parsee. Who is this boss you speak of?” Did she really need to ask? Well, no, she had an inkling.
“The big sis!”
“Yuugi!”
Of course. She’s so pretty! “I see. Sorry, I have to guard the bridge.”
“You’re not gonna play with us?” The kids made big puppy eyes at her. Ugh. It reminded her of Yuugi with her charmingly honest face. How could she say no to that.
Parsee closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them a second Parsee stood next to her. “Fine, let’s play,” Parsee said.
“Whoa~”
“I wanna do that too!”
“Let’s play tag!”
“How’d ya do that!”
“No wonder the boss likes her!”
Finding herself blushing, Parsee turned around and walked to the center of the bridge, while her second body ran away from the child that was “it”. Fortunately, nobody else approached, because that little trick took a lot of concentration and she was already jealous of the carefree kids.
Unfortunately, they were all quite taken with Parsee, not unlike their boss, and so all went straight for her. Parsee was “it” most of the time – these kids were so quick, how jealous – but at least it took no toll on her actual stamina.
After about an hour of playing with these lively kids, though, Parsee’s head got heavy. Still nobody else here, not surprisingly. Parsee sighed and made the second her disappear. The kids hollered in amazement until Parsee joined them. This just had them even more focused on her and her stamina couldn’t possibly keep up with the little devils that chased her around the place.
Why was she even doing this? Hard to say, but somehow Parsee found herself smiling. Slightly. The kids seemed to have fun with everything she did, which was quite the change of pace for someone used to being shunned. Their infectious giggles probably had nothing to do with Yamame, though.
Finally one of the kids tagged Parsee and, panting, she sank to the ground. As she opened her mouth to complain, a loud voice behind her shook the place. “Brats, it’s lunchtime! Don’t forget to thank the nice gal for playin’ with ya lot!”
The kids did as ordered with their cheerful voices and even helped Parsee up. They all grinned at her, but nobody grinned more than Yuugi, who patted their heads as they ran off.
“Took… your sweet… time…” Parsee said. Yuugi shone like the sun on a cold winter day and now more than ever.
“Y’all were havin’ so much fun, I didn’t wanna spoil the moment.”
“Fun…” Parsee snorted. When all the kids had left, Yuugi laid a big arm around Parsee’s shoulder and gently pulled her close. Nothing made Parsee feel more at ease than Yuugi’s touch and the oni had quickly figured that out. “What was this about?” Parsee said between huffs.
“Ya remember when we had that festival and we walked around town together? And ya were all ‘I’m jealous of the moms who’re happy ‘cause their kids are happy.’” She did remember, but Yuugi had left out how Parsee had also been jealous of the kids and… well, everyone, obviously. “And the youkai in town were lookin’ for a place where the brats could play, ‘cause they always cause trouble, so I thought you’d be happy watchin’ over ‘em. Maybe you’re not a mom right now, but what if you became everyone’s mom!”
Parsee sighed at the weight of that. “Aren’t you already everyone’s mom?”
“I’m the big sis! The boss!”
Despite herself, Parsee smiled at the silliness of it all. “But they’ll all be taller and stronger than me in no time. Makes me jealous.”
Yuugi laughed like thunder. “Y’know who’s stronger than the strongest youkai? The strongest youkai’s mom!”
Parsee couldn’t help but chuckle. “Big dummy.”
“I’m Parsee’s big dummy~” Yuugi grinned and kissed Parsee’s forehead.
“…What about the strongest youkai’s wife…” Parsee uttered and immediately regretted.
Yuugi lifted her up like she weighed nothing at all and sat her on Yuugi’s muscular forearm. Parsee felt so small and she hated feeling small… except with Yuugi, who instead made her feel safe and taken care of as she towered over Parsee. “The position’s still empty,” Yuugi said and winked. Parsee wanted to slap herself for the fuzzy feeling in her stomach, but instead she buried her face in Yuugi’s big chest. Yuugi patted her head, played with the blonde locks, and said, “How ‘bout I stay over tonight?”
The last thing Parsee needed to hear right now. She gripped Yuugi’s white shirt. “Why would you want to? Y-your place is so much nicer…”
“I love your place! It’s cozy, even if I break things sometimes… I love it ‘cause it’s yours, ‘cause it’s where you live.”
Parsee stayed quiet, burying her face even deeper. Yuugi’s hand, so big she could fit all of Parsee’s head in her palm, stroked her back. After a short eternity of questioning her luck, Parsee finally mumbled, “Fine…”
Yuugi pressed the strongest peck on Yuugi’s cheek. “Now let’s get some grub in town!” She let Parsee down, but kept her small hand in hers.
On her way back Parsee had “bought” ingredients for dinner – the people in town knew her and that Yuugi would pay them back if they dared ask. In her pitiful hut she cooked rice, dried fish, roasted nuts, cut vegetables, and stirred soup. She did not have much to work with as far as tools were concerned, but she had lived through many, many years of this and could handle the limitations. Yuugi seemed to care more about quantity than quality anyway.
A knock shook the wooden walls. Yuugi entered carefully. “Smells delicious!” She grinned, like always. Parsee smiled with pride. “You’ll make a great wife one day~”
Parsee tried hard to scowl to hide how much she loved hearing this. “Sit down, it’s all done.” She filled the plates and spread them out on the table, where Yuugi already wolfed them down with her eyes. When Parsee sat next to her and nodded in resignation, Yuugi wolfed them down for real. Somehow she never caused a mess despite the speed at which she shoved the food in her face. Like usual, two plates in she slowed down and began to savor food. She still finished before Parsee, who was maybe a little distracted by Yuugi.
“So good! Must be your secret ingredient.”
Parsee had a bad feeling about the direction this would go. She made sure not to drink or eat anything. “What secret ingredient…?”
Yuugi grinned at her as if to show off her fangs. “Love!” She guffawed as Parsee stared at her in unsurprised disbelief. The worst part was Parsee couldn’t even disagree, even if she wouldn’t have put it like that.
Parsee finished her tea, but Yuugi stopped her before she could pour herself another cup. She pulled out a bottle of sake and shook it as if to sell Parsee on the idea. Parsee had become more careful with alcohol, partly because Yuugi could drink it like water and it was dangerous to go with her pace, partly because nothing made Parsee more jealous than waking up with a hangover and no memory of the previous night while Yuugi remembered everything in full detail. “One cup,” Parsee said.
Yuugi, of course, took care of the rest of the bottle. But no more – Parsee hated when Yuugi wasn’t at least close to sober at night, as strange as that was for an oni.
Parsee took a sip and seriously considered ignoring her self-imposed limit. The sake tasted mild, slightly nutty and sweet, just the way Parsee liked it, but unlike Yuugi’s own preference. Kind of a waste not to have another cup when Yuugi had clearly picked it just for her…. She glanced at Yuugi, who smiled back at her. Lifting Parsee’s chin with a single finger, Yuugi kissed her almost chastely. The taste of the sake lingered on their lips. Yuugi winked and went back to drinking.
Parsee held her head. Of course, she would get to taste more of the sake throughout the night, even if she only had that one cup. After another sip Parsee got up to wash the dishes, to get the chores out of the way. She stopped Yuugi from helping with a simple, “You’ll break them.” Which was true, but Parsee also wanted to let her enjoy her drink. Yuugi still got up to press a kiss on Parsee’s nape, which almost made her drop a plate. Rubbing the spot, Parsee glared at Yuugi. “Keep drinking or… or wait in b-bed…”
Yuugi smiled, surprisingly earnest. “Was just thinkin’ how gorgeous my wife is.”
Parsee lips tightened. If she stopped now, the plates would be a pain to clean later….
Clicking her tongue, Parsee grabbed a towel to dry her hands, then finished the rest of her sake in one long sip while staring Yuugi right in the eyes. Yuugi got the hint and quite literally swept Parsee off her feet, only to gently lower her onto her futon in the bedroom.
Parsee glared up at her. “You did this on purpose.”
Yuugi simply kissed her, slowly, deeply, robbing Parsee of her breath and her thoughts. “Just speakin’ the truth.” Convincing… and one of the reasons Parsee more than tolerated her. Parsee locked fingers with Yuugi’s, twice the size of hers. Yuugi easily covered all of Parsee’s body with herself. Parsee just wanted to disappear into this, erase all the anxieties that plagued her mind. Yuugi’s rough thumb brushed over Parsee’s cheek, then down her lips. Parsee trembled in anticipation, even as Yuugi kissed her again. She wanted Yuugi to fill every part of her body or, alternatively, crush it into dust.
“Yuugi. Break me,” Parsee said, and with honest, loving eyes Yuugi replied, “Never.” She kissed down Parsee’s neck. “But I can make it feel like that.”
Memories from a previous night that had left Parsee unable to walk properly for a good week flashed before her eyes. Parsee swallowed. “I’m jealous you can do that.”
“Wouldn’t mind ya havin’ a go too… but right now…” Yuugi’s big hand slid down from Parsee’s neck to her breasts. “…you’re all mine….”
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Fic mehm
This was shortish, so might as well post it here. Snurched from the lovely @trelobita .
-What is your total word count on AO3?
-1 421 808. That little?!? I thought I would've gone past the 2 million mark a long time ago. What with Connie whipping me on the way he does.
-How often do you write?
-When the right mood/inspiration comes, and when I'm healthy enough (both mentally and physically) to be in writing condition. Which is not often enough; I hate it when I do want to write, but brain fog and/or physical fatigue mean I can't keep my brain going or my body upright. That's mostly for fiction, though. I can type bloggity waffle like this, and could just about proofread a sex toy review today despite it being a brainfog/tireded day. The deadline for the review was today, so I did it under duress and must've left something out or fucked up some grammar as consequence. Finnish conjugations are hell when your memory is shot to pieces; English is much easier to write because you don't have to remember how to conjugate a word to denote it's in the past tense for a plural with a conditional towards place A, signifying inclusion. No, I'm not joking. Sauvallanikinkos? ("Also with my wand, too, maybe?")
-Do you have a routine for writing?
-My body isn't good with routines and schedules, so no. The only pattern I have is to try and get 1000 words done at least and then to email myself the latest draft after I've finished writing.
-What are your favourite tropes?
-Have you got a month? (This question foolishly asked about your favourite kinks and tropes and pairing types all in the same question, BTW, so I split it up into three questions, because... c'mon.)
Tropes:
-Flawed characters who are still somehow understandable and appealing; not the typical Asshole Protagonist or antihero thing so much but more of an... well, I guess it's just good characterisation I prefer, in the end. Not that kind of squickily obvious macho power fantasy sold as "grittiness" just for the sake of being an asshole (funnily enough, that kind of crap usually comes from the kinds of people who have too much privilege in the first place). So, yeah, good characterisation that's still got some shreds of humanity left is my jam.
-Telepathic lovers. Exactly because it hurts so much when the person who's supposed to love you the most and to understand you the best doesn't, and vice versa. So that's a big RL trauma and squick I prefer to fix, because in fic, I CAN.
-That's a major one, actually. Fix-its not so much on a plot level but on a human level. Especially sexism/gender bullshit-breaking fixes. Fix-its get a bad rap, but that kind of thing, just like the bashing of romance and fanfic, sets off my "ah, this wouldn't be the devaluing of something considered empathic and female/feminine again, now would it?" alarms.
-This overlaps with the pairing thingy, but the Depraved Bisexual is my favourite character type to write. All the Connies, Tennant!Peter Vincent, Captain Renault, Zainab, Laura, etc... YES.
-Male character gives up some masculine privilege he doesn't fancy anyway for the sake of love and empathy/female character gives up stereotypical female things she doesn't fancy anyway in order to be herself and free herself as much as she can from society's chains. Give Torsten all the pwetty dwezzez he wants and for Falcon!Yassamin to remain childfree, dammit!
-Man cuddles and medicates woman during her period and actually empathises/feels how awful it is. As I was saying about the fix-its...
-Funny banter, even if I can't write it as hilariously as I'd want to.
Favourite kinks?
-Poetic prose and Romanticism. It's word porn or nothing, baby.
-Historical detail, accuracy preferred but depends on how the story wants to go (the Barmakids DON'T get butchered horribly by Harun al-Rashid in 803, TYVM).
-Anal! That's almost too obvious to mention.
-Androgynous, genderbending, sex-bending, femme men. Why do you think Connie is the love of my life?
-Lots of arousal-drippage.
-Some way for the bottom to see themselves being banged. Mirrors or telepathy or magic or video camera projecting it before their eyes or whatever. Unfff.
-Orgasms. Always orgasms to complete satisfaction. Orgasm denying or writing it badly or so vaguely that characters/readers can't get any catharsis/release for the arousal is a huge squick. That's a hard limit. Fuck characters who tease and don't let someone get off.
-Psychological/emotional depth. That's such a no-brainer it shouldn't even be necessary to mention (although in these days, it seems to be, because apparently wanting that is now a repressed sexual minority instead of normal human, especially female, sexuality. Oh, fuck off). Yeah, these memes do bring out the pet peeves about internalised misogyny, don't they? Especially the sort that manifests itself in sputter-inducing ignorance. Even my medieval characters and their somewhat dated and essentialist ideas of sex and gender are ahead of Tumblr in the very basics, FFS.
-BDSM that's based very much on extreme care and healing, the sort that uses the intense sexual activities/sensory overload as a kind of way to heal the sub's anxieties and to help the sub let go, achieve catharsis and release. And for the top's love to be the guiding, ravishing, then healing and comforting force that contains the sub and the sub's anxieties in a fiercely loving and protective way and absolutely, so that not a drop spills over. So, yep, BDSM as therapy is my kink in both RL and in fic. Not so much a desire to humiliate or to be humiliated, but on the contrary, to value and to honour the other half. The top finds strength and validation through being the healer, through their power being able to do something good (instead of tearing someone down and having power over them through that). Yes, I know that's not everyone's idea of BDSM, but it's mine and that's what you'll get if it's a healthy relationship I'm trying to portray. (The Barrings and Zainab and Fadl don't have the healthiest ideas of sex, anyhow; Jaffar/Pwinzezz usually do.)
And I'm leaving out so many. You only have to look at my Ao3 pages to see the recurring themes:p
Favourite pairing types?
-Experienced Depraved Bisexual Character/Less Experienced and/or Repressed Character, GIMMIE. Fucking love that shit.
-Similar: Older, More Experienced Man/Younger, Horny Woman.
-Horny couple, usually M/F, seduce someone into a threesome. The Rosesverse and Devilry are full of this, so might as well admit it.
-Do you have a favourite fic of yours?
-I do have a soft spot for the first two fics in the Falconverse. As if you didn't all know that already! They do have some noticeable flaws here and there, especially the first one (I still insist that weird lube choice was HIS and not mine; I do know better and yelled at him at the time), but they still contain my deepest and most profound writing both erotically (and I mean that in the widest sense of the word, encompassing all things Love) and spiritually and character-wise. Defy Not The Stars also turned out better than I expected, considering I had never attempted so much plot and a traditional historical romance novel before. But I guess that Roses, what with its length, has allowed me to explore more aspects of the characters and their lives than anything else I've written. And of course, considering Devilry is my most-read saga ever, I do have a soft spot for that pile-up of a car crash. If only for the sheer intensity of the ride; I was just thinking yesterday how it really was aghori sadhana done through writing. Meditating in a graveyard is for wimps; try spending months in Torsten Barring's fragrant boypussy.
-Your fic with the most kudos?
To no one's surprise, Because The World Belongs To The Devil, at 234 kudos.
-Anything you don’t like about your writing?
-I suck at pacing sometimes. The sex scenes tend to run overlong if I write them in several sessions instead of just one go. It's not that the characters want to try different sex acts and shag more than once during a night, but more that the tension is spread out unevenly ("JFC, why did they change position again? I want them to just fucking come already, damnit!") This is obviously a result of how many things *I* see in my mind's eye during a wank; it's always more of a clipshow of different sex acts and pairings and orientations than one straightforward scenario. I'll be more mindful of that in the future and have been watching out for it in the past few fics already; I don't think the shags in The Guardians of Samarkand overran, for example.
-And sometimes my kinks get too obvious and repetitive for me, too, the way any porn gets tedious and repetitive. But on the other hand, I know very well that fanfic *is* about us imposing our kinks on our darlings, no matter how much we may go on about our dedication to characterisation and such. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: what's key is to get away with your kinks *but* in such a way that they can also engage the reader and that they become interesting and enjoyable not just for you, but for the readers, too. And you need good characterisation for that, and it's a really delicate balance to juggle your kinks and believable characterisation.
-Something you *do* like about your writing?
-I can write immersively and deeply and engage all the senses (sight, touch, scent...) in rich detail, as well as go deeply and profoundly into the emotions. And write some fucking hot porn ;) Those are the things I've had praise for, at least. Maybe my spiritual bits aren't as relatable or something, because people hardly ever remark on those (interestingly, my mum is the only one to have taken up those bits! But I skim over the sex scenes when I read the fics to her, so she only gets the gen). Or then it's the fact that most of the time it's Thief of Bagdad fic, and thus in an Islamic context, and most readers aren't familiar enough with, say, Sufism, to feel like they're qualified to comment without making arses out of themselves. But of course I like my spiritual bits; I'm an ex-religions major!
This had a taggity thing at the end, but I hate doing those because it always puts pressure on them even if you say they don't have to (come, now. The pressure is there, the moment you mention someone by name). I don't own the meme or you, so, as always: do what thou wilt.
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Working With Creativity and Depression
For some reason this post didn’t get posted on Tumblr in full so here is the whole thing. I’m sorry about the double post, but I wanted it to be in full on Tumblr.
Recently I received a message on my Patreon about how to stay creative with depression. It wasn’t the first time I’ve been asked, so I thought it might be helpful to write this article. Hopefully, it might stimulate some discussion where we can all learn from each other on how to deal with both depression and the empty page.
(But first, a disclaimer. How I do it is currently working for me and my present state, however, depression varies and is a different experience for everyone who has it. I definitely don’t want to say this is the way it should be done, but only to state my thinking as something that has helped me and can be improved upon or even ignored based on your own situation. There might be something helpful in here and there might not be anything helpful at all, and I do not present myself as an Authority.)
Creative people have limitations. There are the obvious ones, like time, money, resources, skill, and they all affect our creative output. It becomes helpful to think of depression as another limitation. It’s not a limitation in the sense that it should stop you from being creative, but a limitation that makes us need to be more reasonable in what we can do. We have to learn to become more effective with what we have.
The first part is accepting depression as part of our work limitation. If we try to fight depression, it will win, it has control over our clarity of thought and can hinder creativity. It can make us second guess our best ideas and rid us of enthusiasm. It can make the first stroke of a pencil on a blank sheet of paper a Herculean task. There are just some days it is stronger than our will but that’s going to be a limitation we must deal with. We have to work within the limits imposed by depression, not to try to work against it.
But on the bright side, this doesn’t happen every single day. For me at least, depression comes in waves, and I know that there will days when the ideas come more easily and the work develops more naturally. Then there will be days when it feels I am made of dense rock and can barely think or create anything. This is just the way it is, and I can’t schedule it. It’s like the weather, it’s not entirely predictable when I’ll have my ups and downs.
In order to maximise productivity, I try to do creative work that fits in with my ups and downs. I separate the work into two categories: creative work I can do when I am feeling better, and more technical work I can complete during my lower phases. During my lowest phases, I may not be able to do anything at all, but this is all working within the limitations of depression, not trying to work around it or in spite of it.
UP PERIODS
When depression ebbs and I feel I can get work done, I use this period to generate ideas and put the pencil to the paper. I have two methods for generating ideas, I use Google Keep to keep written ideas and a small sketchbook for layouts and more fully developed strip ideas. I will also start the pencilling for strips and work on the dialogue. Basically I use this time to make major decisions with what I do while I have clarity of thought.
Recently I’ve been able to take some time for studying the process, reading books on anatomy and drawing skills. However, I’ve found doing this takes a lot more energy than being creative because I have to be really enthusiastic and be able to concentrate more.
DOWN PERIODS
When depression gets heavier and the ability to create or make decisions seems more distant, it’s this time when I do work which doesn’t require a lot of energy to do. I will ink strips, do word balloons, colour finished strips, do clean up on the computer and other tasks that are less intense and are more about embellishing what has been done than creating anything new. I will also do the more routine and mundane tasks such as organisation and work space area cleanup during these periods too.
There are other things I have trouble with in this period. One problem is writing and replying to E-mail. It seems to be especially hard to think of what to say and to have something meaningful to write down. My mind gets particularly fuzzy and I can’t seem to find what I want to say. Unfortunately I have a habit of procrastinating correspondence, because it’s difficult to do during down periods and it’s not something I want to spend precious up period time with.
A second problem is looking at other people’s work. When I’m in an up period, it’s easy to appreciate the work of others and try to find something to learn from it. I can see things I want to try and feel energised and inspired. However, when I look at other people’s work during low periods, I can only see what I cannot do, and feelings of hopelessness and despair start to form. The art I see only reminds me what I am incapable of and robs me of any inspiration I had. For a long time I stopped looking at the work of others because it only made me feel worse. When one stops looking, one stops learning, and one’s own art can stagnate.
REALLY DOWN PERIODS
I am really useless during these times and I haven’t figured out how to be productive. But they do occur, and I’ve found it’s best to just ride these out and let them take their course.
OTHER THINGS THAT HELP
Setting deadlines keeps me on track. It may not work for everyone, but it does give me a little push in knowing that the deadline is more important than the quality. Finishing things gives me more confidence than leaving things unfinished, even if the quality is not up to what I’d like. “I’ll do better for the next one, but in the meantime I have to finish this.” is something I quite often say to myself.
Maintaining routines helps. Having a routine will help you get through the down spells because it will be easier to switch to automatic pilot.
I try to refrain from doing the down period work during up periods. If I’m in the middle of a creative spell I need to leave some work to do for down periods. If I finish what I’m doing and after I have a down spell, I can’t use that time more effectively.
In the end, I guess the bottom line is to know your limitations and find how you can best work within them. It’s not fatalistic to admit to yourself there are limits to what you can do, as there are always going to be some kind of limitation on what we do in a creative field. But understanding them and knowing what we are able to do during them will, I believe, boost our productivity as we match the tasks to our condition.
I may add more to this or make corrections in the future, but this should be a start. If you have any comments or suggestions, please feel free to add them in the comments or send me a message. Let’s be more creative and efficient and understand how we can work smarter within the limitations of our depression.
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Irreconcilable Reconciliation
Guess I have to retype the last paragraph. Tumblr seems to freeze so easily. I just turned off the wi-fi. There we go.
So fastforward from the last post about two years. Covid-19 is here. I’m laid off from both jobs and I just signed up for a divorce workshop for April 14th next month. Will we be sheltered at home until then? Will this virus be over? Who knows. More importantly, how did we get here? How did -I- get here?
I’m typing on my Asus which is hanging on by a thread. If I unplug it, it turns off. Needs a new battery. Listening to In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins. Gonna go though my playlists after that. Drinking Makers here and there because I low-key want to get drunk. My upper back is both sore and tense.
I think if life had gone on the way it was, I never would have taken that extra step. Have I pulled the trigger? Not quite. Not until those forms are filled out by both of us and the process is put in motion would I say the trigger has been pulled. But am I loading the gun? I think so. I think this is it. With Luther and both jobs, my mind had preoccupied with the day to day, week to week. But with this imposed break, I’ve been forced to pause and examine things. Most of what I thought about has been my ambitions past, present, and future. Is bartending the final frontier for me? Or even being a bar owner? Should I learn more about investing? Are there other careers out there that I would excel at? I pondered this a lot on top of thinking about what I could learn in the mean time. I so far have concluded that while I may not learn something new overnight, I could use this forced break to set myself up better so that I’d be able to grow more as a person coming out of this. Some of my ideas included drinking less to the point that I’d no longer wake with hangovers, limiting social outings with coworkers to once a week and even closer friends to also once a week so that at most, I’d be out only two nights a week if even that. I just want more nights where I take advantage and catch up on reading more or learning something new and more mornings where I wake up and get at the day. I want to tackle exercise earlier, first thing if possible, as an insurance for the possibilty that I won’t get it done in the afternoon or evening. And if I wanted to do more later I could. But I’m beginning to want to reset my sails so that I can pursue more endeavors and overall just accomplish more.
Somewhere within all of that I remind myself to start with first things first. Things in the mirror. Things that are immediate, so immediate that I may miss them in my attempt to search for personal development around the first corner I peek around. But maybe instead of turning that first corner, I stay put and look at myself, my situation. There are some obvious things. Seeing how much food I’ve been able to eat at home (given the generosity of others that supplied it), I realized how much time I was wasting to drive 15-20 minutes to Convoy to grab a meal by myself. I realize how much money, gas, and time I truly wasted. Looking at how I go through food now educates me on just how much I can live off of if I simply limit my options. I could save so much money if it weren’t for my being a creature of habit. I also realize I can go for runs more without the gym, do push ups at home, use that workout bar.
I’ll sum it up this way- I realize how smart I am and just how efficiently I could live my life if only I allow it. Things like not eating out, not because of the money but because of the time it takes to travel to and fro. Things like pumping gas two stoplights closer because that left turn accomplishes more on your path than going further just to save a few cents. Eating wherever I happen to be. Going for a run or walk and grabbing coffee while doing so even if I was there to check out the bookstore but it was closed. Doing said run or walk with my purchase of coffee instead of just driving for coffee.
And then deep down, there is the stuff that’s unsettled. Ignored. Swept under the rug. Amy and I. We grow more distant each day, showing the relational equivalent of the least-common-denominator of love towards each other. We say the words “I love you so,” almost like a greeting as we come and go. At the core of it all, there is definitely love. But it is between parents, father and mother. It’s that admiration, respect, and familial support that we have for one another. Simply put, I will always love Amy because she is Luther’s mother. I don’t want to speak the same for her but that’s how it is for me.
As husband and wife, however, there’s not a single atom of romance or love. This is a natural, I think. After all, I’ve gotten us both to admit that we married for the kid and not us. There has not yet been a rebuttal to this. There is no unconditional romance between us. One person shows/gives less love, the same happens on the other end until there’s no love at all. I think for a period of time, I tried to believe there was. Or that there was enough. I tried here and there to keep it together romantically but having the kid kind of makes that damn near impossible. And beyond that impossibility, I suppose some could go above and rise to the point of spicing things up and keeping that romance alive. But I couldn’t. Thing is, even when I couldn’t I tried to act as if I could. I pretended, I put on a happy face and went with things. I held her hand. It eventually got to a point where it became a splinter in my mind. It just grew bigger and deeper in me until I couldn’t pretend anymore. I wouldn’t say that opposed to the fake happiness I was becoming passive-aggressive. It’s more like...I was slowly, quietly becoming a more honest version of myself. And I wouldn’t speak it or say anything but you could tell by what I -wasn’t- saying. By the fact that I paid less attention, cared less, thought less of certain events like valentine’s and her birthday.
That last time we had a big fight, I yelled that I wanted a divorce. That we couldn’t fix our issues and they kept resurfacing. And it’s true. This time, I see that I was right. There was a TED-talk I brought up last time, it was a video with a therapist urging couples to ask themselves certain questions to see if they truly wanted to go forward with divorce. One of the things she encouraged was giving it time, six months maybe. And rating every day of those six months on a scale of 1-10 in terms of happiness. If you consistently average a lower number then your initial decision to get divorce is true. If you find yourself in the happier range more consistently then maybe you just had a rough patch. Often I think on our best days together, they land at a 6. 6 sounds like it’s in the positive range but in my mind, it’s somewhere between a D and a C letter grade. I don’t much care or need to go lower than that. Perhaps it means I’m not in the worst of situations and that there are far more negative couples and scenarios out there, however that there is enough evidence to support the fact that we are clearly not happy together.
Gene brought up a funny point. Without prompting, he said that Amy and I reminded him of his parents. That we were so obviously wrong for each other but seemingly stubborn enough to prove people wrong that we just stayed together.
I’ve had so many thoughts regarding being alone, being away from Amy, just simply -not- being married to her. I’ve put them off over and over and over. It seems every time there was a big fight, it came up in conversation. And then I’d cool off. But I never stopped thinking that maybe I was right. I need to not be with her. Then I think of all the reasons that stopped me and it all comes back to Luther, the effect the divorce would have on his life. I think about how it takes a village to raise a kid and the fact that I would be tearing up that village for him. I think about how I’d see him less, how he wouldn’t have a loving father loving his loving mother. They would just be...two separate entities. Would he survive it? Probably. I know people who’s kids are fine after it. But still, nothing breaks my heart more than the thought of him realizing that we aren’t all together anymore, that mommy and daddy aren’t in love and aren’t together. It breaks my heart that I’d seem him less. I love him so much. I really do think that’s why I held out so long.
But better now than...in his teens. Or even around ten. A toddler just needs to grasp the changes of his daily life and adapt to it, he doesn’t need to philosophically or psychologically come to grips with it the way a young adult would. I can’t deny the probability that his development will change because of it but it’s not like we had good odds. We married not out of love but for him. And marriages based on the premise of love even, fail at an alarming percentage. It’s as if Amy and I never had a chance. If we did, it was close to 1%. And we couldn’t make that work. I can’t blame us. I can, however, retroactively look back and say we shouldn’t have gotten married. We should have taken our time with the whole baby-daddy, baby-mama situation. Perhaps a truer, more organic relationship would have grown between Amy and I. Instead, high on our love for our newborn, we tied the knot. With more push from Amy than me. She did things, I remember, that she no longer does. Things to entice me into wanting to marry her. And then they fell by the wayside after marriage.
I want to keep typing but my upper back is really sore and tightening up even more. Until that workshop date, I just need to hang tight. Either stay alone, or stay away.
I don’t want there to be any coming back from this one. This -needs- to be the final straw. Because this time, it’s not out of resentment, it’s not out of hurt or sadness or anger. It’s just been a long time coming, this decision. Deep down, I feel neutral and unemotional about it. I don’t want to hurt, I don’t want to anger. But more than anything, I don’t want to let it go anymore.
This is it.
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Regarding Concrete
I’m not going to discuss whether Concrete is racist or not; she is.
I just wanted to mention three small points:
1) I don’t think Sugar is lying when she says “I did not personally create this content”--How the writing game works, as literally the book explains is that one person describes a character and another person draws it. They have a self imposed time limit (or at least that is implied by the quickness of the sketches/words), plus Abram’s apology also mentioned this. The point is, the words could have easily come before the drawing, meaning that one of the most damning things about the character is that she can’t read--could have 100% been entirely unintentional. This does not excuse this drawing seeing the light of day though--which is why I appreciated Sugar taking full responsibility still.
2) The SU fandom is toxic in a lot of ways, but the largest way that I see is the fact that fans seem to think that everyone, no matter their work schedule or life, is going to have time to be the best, most sensitive, critical self at all times. We all make mistakes around something we are ignorant or biased about, and when that occurs the only course of action is to take responsibility and try to move on. If any fans have sincere and honest recommendations as to how Sugar could better learn from this or correct this wrong I would suggest trying to write at her as politely and kindly as possible. Before you scream that I am tone policing, please just hear me out; It is easy to be punitive when hurt. It is easy to want her/the crewniverse/the show to receive negative things just because you have experienced negative things. But that is not a sustainable model, and I would urge you to give a small benefit of the doubt that she is, at the very least, genuinely sorry to have hurt her fans.
3) The response to the apology that both Sugar and Abram’s gave confuses me. I do not know what (young) Tumblr expects--The cancellation of the show? What more can someone do when they make a mistake like this. Or to put it another way, what more should I do when I inevitably make a mistake and have my ignorance and bias hurt someone? Give them all my money? I am being somewhat facetious here, but I do honestly mean my question. Why are we so quick to demand a public stoning when all of us live in a glass house of some kind of privilege?
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#ASKANADMIN: ROUND 1
Hello members, and welcome to the first volume of our #askanadmin compilations!
#askanadmin is a Discord channel dedicated to Q&A from the admin team, where we can quickly answer any minor, miscellaneous questions that come up for members. As it’s impractical to search the channel and not even available to all members and applicants by default, however, we (with great help from the lovely @obshyerin) have taken the liberty of compiling all of these answers into tumblr posts for your ease of reference! For the most part, answers have been edited to include proper punctuation and grammar, but other typing quirks (such as emojis) are left in context.
We hope that these answers are useful to you, and remember, our inbox, IMs, and question channel are always open to questions!
— Obscura Admin Team
GENERAL/SETTING QUESTIONS
Given the use of silver in hunting and protection from some supernaturals, would it be more expensive or would it be cheaper and more widely available?
I would imagine that the demand for silver is higher with hunters needing it commonly, but in the same vein, I’m sure there are strong alchemical and other magical efforts made to produce more silver for those purposes. Hence, I would say that it’s possibly somewhat more expensive due to the increased demand, but there’s also an increased supply keeping that from being overwhelming.
Interestingly – silver is probably less common in jewelry in this world as well, since despite supernaturals having to be on the downlow… Businesses know they’d be losing some market if they make everything silver. :P Must have been harder being a vampire/were in the old days when they hadn’t figured out a lot of alternative metals to make things out of :V You’d have to wear gold jewelry mostly. These days there are lots of alloys that’re safe.
(Also if you’re buying silver for protection, beware of assholes scamming you with it. I’m sure that happens, because you know, it’s one of the few things that’s Known To Work.)
Does the same apply to the production of iron? Just wondering since it’s a very common metal used pretty much everywhere.
Iron is more common but in order for it to be effective against fae, it does have to be processed – raw iron doesn’t do the trick. Also if it’s mixed into other things, it loses effectiveness for that purpose.
But yeah, iron’s not something you have to worry about the price of, it’s the most common metal on earth in our world so it’s certainly still available enough
What do you mean by processed iron?
All iron that humans use has been forged; that’s what “saps” the magic from it and makes it dangerous to fae. According to legend, that’s how that works ouo but like, the raw iron ore in the earth isn’t dangerous. That’s what I meant!
But don’t people encounter processed iron more often in everyday life?
Definitely; gotta be careful of those wrought-iron fences! It takes a lot for just ambient iron to become a problem, though, and in a small area. Fae just have to be careful not to touch anything that’s made of actual iron, or it smarts pretty bad.
Bless the modern era of strong plastics and polymers, honestly! That’s probably part of what has fae interacting more and more with human culture; it’s becoming less danger-laced to do so.
Can I send my muses to universities that exist in real life?
Yes, that’s fine. Those things still exist.
Are there doctors that specialize in different species?
Probably! They wouldn’t be able to advertise that outright, but there are definitely fae doctors around especially, but also doctors/healing magic practitioners who know different species in depth. You’d mostly find them through word of mouth. Beast-blooded probably have the hardest time on this front, though, since there’s a pretty wide variety of them.
Are ghosts a thing in this universe? Like if my muse went ghost hunting, would they actually find something?
Ghosts do exist in some capacity, but generally you can only interact with them if you’re a witch and you know how to do that—you’re more likely to find daemons or fae playing poltergeist. Though you’re free to hunt ghosts regardless of if you find anything, you usually won’t find anything ghost hunting to begin with ww
Can healing/regenerative powers be ranked? Like if a person was to practice or be coached in how to make their healing faster could we spend points to improve that?
Yes!
So if you can spend points to increase healing capability, how would that work out in character? From what I understand it’s not something a muse consciously works on.
Sometimes there’s a concentrated effort on getting better at it (like, meditation type things? focusing on that innate magic in an effort to strengthen it), sometimes it happens naturally due to getting hurt a lot, sometimes it just…… happens.
What do you think would be the biggest difference between Rank IV and Rank V level healing? Like what would be a speed or property that serves like a cut off point?
I… I really don’t think I have an answer to that in simple terms? It seriously depends on the muse and how they style the ability. In general terms, a rank V indicates the best you could possibly be at something (species limitations in mind), whereas IV would have not quite have everything.
Can wards break? Specifically wards that are powered by a living being.
Generally wards lose power or ‘fade’ over time, with the time depending on the power and magic imbued into the ward or the power of the person that cast the ward. Wards can “break” suddenly under certain circumstances, but this is much less common. For instance, if there was some sort of “flaw” in the magic of the ward—it could either get “broken” by making contact with some other spell, or it could fall apart due to some other unforeseen trigger. Magic is rarely perfect in nature, so these flaws would not be unheard of by any means, simply that exploiting them would be somewhat rare as it’d be unpredictable as well. It’s also possible that a ward could be “broken” by counter-magic in general.
Is magic an internal power source, kinda?
Magic is very much metaphysical and born into living things, and things assigned meaning by living things. Humans have the greatest influence over it in a cosmic sense. Something without that “soul”, for lack of a better word, won’t be able to interface with magic unless magic is imbued into it. So yeah! I’m sure there are nice fancy expensive wards for detecting (fae) magic traces though.
RULES QUESTIONS
Can I be on a semi-hiatus? There are days I might be totally MIA because of work so my posting might be sporadic.
You’re allowed to post while on hiatus without penalty, so we don’t distinguish between full and semi hiatuses. You’re free to take a hiatus for safety and post if you can! Or just let us know if it happens that you can’t post for a full week, we’re pretty flexible as long as members keep in touch with us.
can we use non-asian fc’s? I know we’ve had non-korean faces, but what about non-asian entirely faces?
Yep, all fcs are allowed as long as they’re signed (not social media famous), alive, and over 18!
DRUGS QUESTIONS
How long does moonlily root/lunar dust stay in a were’s system & when does it start wearing off? it’s probably different for everyone based off of height & weight and stuff, but maybe there’s an average?
A: Depends on the dosage. Obviously too high of a dosage would result in an overdose, but smaller doses would wear off more quickly. I’d say the average for a medium sized dose for someone of average height and weight, it takes about 30 to 45 minutes. Larger doses that aren’t fatal could last up to 2 hours while a very small dose might last about 15 minutes.
What would happen if a were that’s agitated or high on lunar dust got a whiff of werenip? Would they just explode?
A: Generally mixing drugs is a bad plan. Likely they might get sick; since lunar dust is a upper and werenip is a downer, the drugs would clash quite strongly. So they might just cancel each other out, in a way, and result in the were laying on the floor with a terrible headache, stomach problems, and strong desire to kill but not move enough in order to do so.
H: Mixing uppers and downers is a really bad plan in general; might cause heart problems, seizures, even a coma, death is not unlikely… so in short: Not Recommended!
VAMPIRE QUESTIONS
Hypothetically, could a progeny kill their sire?
They… could, though I would say that is unlikely, since a sire could prevent that from happening via compulsion, and the pain link would be a bit of an issue.
Given that vamps have accelerated healing, would body modifications or major cosmetic surgery work or would their body forcefully heal those over and nullify whatever you were trying to do?
This can be done, but they would need to be sealed in with magic.
Can hell-drinkers go back to normal?
With approximately a bit more difficulty than ghouls going back to being human, yeah. As in, that might require chaining yourself in a basement for a few weeks/months at worst.
If someone becomes a vamp at a young age do they maintain the emotional maturity of that age forever? Like an eight year old just doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand some things, so would they maintain that or would they just mature as the years go by without physically maturing?
I am going to go with that they will mature with time, since the body is in stasis but the spirit is kept alive by magic? For child-vampires this may be more of an issue since the body never developed far enough—but for ones in the teens and on, they should mature in time. A lot of vampires don’t seem to mature though—not because they can’t, but because they get trapped in a mental stasis that’s kinda psychological in nature due to their body not changing. That’s just a character trait though. Vampires have some issues to deal with. Many cope with immortality by doing silly things like creating obtuse rule systems and imposing them on their progeny or something. Vampires. I’m rambling.
If a vampire shape shifts into a non-vampire creature (like a cat), would they still be weak to sunlight?
Yes. The nature of what they are doesn’t change.
Do vampires have reflections in this universe? Can they be recorded?
That’s a great question because I actually stole this answer from a great tumblr post. They do have reflections in newer mirrors, but not in old ones—due to the old ones having silver backing. Must be a trip when old vamps see an aluminum-backed mirror for the first time! But yes, they do appear in recordings!
Since vamps can be recorded in this verse, can someone live stream a vamp attack?
If millennial can do it, they will do it.
If a vamp lost a body part, big or small, while they’re young and have limited healing ability, could they regrow it years later when they’re much stronger?
Yes, assuming they can survive long enough without that body part. Vampires in a way represent stasis; given a bit of effort, they can almost always return to a previous form. Unless magic gets involved. That can change things.
FAE QUESTIONS
Do changelings have greater illusion?
Yes but it’s… kinda wonky? They almost look photoshopped, like “someone seems to have airbrushed some spikes off here”. No, not like “someone just stuck the wrong face on this body sloppily” level photoshop; it’s a bit more like “upon squinting that does not appear to be correct but I cannot put my finger on what is wrong; it just looks Wrong”.
What would happen if a fae ate another fae or any magical creature?
You know admittedly this is one of those things I haven’t put that much thought into. I mean as far as eating other species…. they probably taste funny…? May not be healthy depending on what we’re talking about here. Vampires are not tasty.
As far as cannibalizing a fae… it would probably be fine if the one eating it was a fae. If not, it’s gonna taste super weird and be fae madness central! (Also, this may not even be possible if the true form of that fae is something non-fleshy.)
What do fae smell like to people with advanced sense of smell? Do they smell like their alignment or is there a universal fae smell?
There is a universal “weird fae smell”, but the alignment smell would be stronger, so that scent would be caught first.
How long do binding contracts last with fae if unspecified? Can a fae lengthen a pre-existing contract if they wanted? Could they have multiple binding agreements with one or more people?
How long they last would depend on the power level of the fae and the strength of the agreement. For most fae, they won’t last that long, they’ll taper off after a few weeks/months/after the terms of the agreement have been reached. Powerful fae could make these bind for an extremely long time, though, through a person’s whole lifespan even.
Yes, fae can add onto a contract, and yes, they can have multiple bindings with one person. It’s most likely though that the agreements will become less powerful (less binding) if there are many of them!
If fae are immune to illness, are they vulnerable to fae-specific illnesses? Are those even a thing?
They’re immune to human illnesses (though they could potentially carry them) but yeah, they could get fae illnesses that may or may not be roughly equivalent of human illnesses.
since fae are saturated in magic would there be like… magical residue on their fingerprints if you understand what i mean like… a magic detector would be able to pick up traces of magic from their fingertips or w/e they touched–
I would say… probably yes? though those traces would be difficult to pick up without a very powerful magic detection ability!
is there like magical engineering devices crafted like has anyone/the government made machines that could detect magic/magical beings? i know fae and their specific magic go against modern day machinery and all of that but??
There’s probably a spell for it, but technology that can detect magic in general is… pretty impossible to manufacture, for some odd reason, unless the tech is enchanted itself in some way. Probably because magic is a strictly… “spiritual” thing, for lack of a much better word? It can’t be manufactured mechanically; there has to be some sort of “living” component here.
WERE QUESTIONS
Can someone be a were-insect? A were-fish?
No, weres can’t take their animal form as an invertebrate; the biology would be way too different from their human form. Leave the insectoid stuff to the fae sphere! As for fish (including sharks), it’s possible, though extremely unlikely—they’d definitely have to live near the water, so…
Can someone be a were-pomeranian?
Were-animal forms shouldn’t be as specific as individual breeds, especially if those breeds only exist due to domestication. You could have a were-dog, but their animal form would look more like a wild dog (though they’d be able to communicate with a pomeranian) unless they specifically honed their shapeshifting to get a pomeranian form out of it. The same applies to individual breeds of cat, horse, cow, you name it; the most specific you should ever get is at the species level (ie, tiger versus lion), though the “general type of animal” level is generally sufficient.
the page on were’s says that “Weres are intensely burned by silver and weapons otherwise charmed to harm them.”, so does that mean they’re resistant to normal weapons or heal abnormally quickly from regular wounds?
They heal about twice as fast as a normal person from mundane wounds and feel ordinary amounts of pain from them. Silver weapons cause more pain (a burning sensation) and the wounds heal at a slowed rate.
Ooh so like if they got a paper cut, it’d be gone by the end of the day instead of taking two days?
Yep, something like that!
Do weres remember what they did on the night of a full moon the next day?
It probably depends on the were, honestly, whether it’s all a blur or they remember bits and pieces or what. I wouldn’t think that most of them remember perfectly since it’s such a primal thing, but I also wouldn’t think they’d forget entirely either, so.
If say, one were is shifted, while the other is human, would they be able to communicate still? Or would it possibly be only limited to weres of the same species?
Hmm, the communication would probably be difficult, but not as bad as trying to talk to a literal animal. Like… it’s a bit like if there’s a language barrier? One of you speaks the language fluently, but the other is conversational at best.
should a were have a silver earring that is completely silver, would it eventually fall out?
No, but they’d want to tear it out. Silver burns, but not badly enough to melt/disfigure the skin or anything like that. Injuries made by silver weapons are the same as injuries made by other metal weapons, they just hurt more and heal more slowly.
BEAST-BLOODED QUESTIONS
Were the (humanoid) ancestors of beast-blooded definitely human? Or could they have been something like a fae?
Probably a witch! They’d have had to be human, and since some heavy magic was involved in the birth of the beast-blooded themselves, I’d say they were witches.
Were the “beasts” fae, then?
The other creatures are… literally beasts, flesh-and-blood magical creatures that in this day and age are very rare, but may still exist somewhere. Once again, definitely not fae—fae are not truly biological and cannot reproduce sexually!
Would they have turned into beasts, or turned the beasts into humans, to reproduce with them?
Either way; it probably depends on the beast in question, but… trust me, given humans, someone is always “into that” in either direction.
Could a beast-blooded have hatched from an egg?
This seems very unlikely, but… as far as first-generation beast-blooded, the answer is a strong maybe. Beyond the first generation, the answer is no; beast-blooded are human.
WITCH QUESTIONS
So witches are basically the same as humans, just they more adept at magic?
Yep. Witches are just humans who’ve studied magic.
at what point do you draw the line between a witch and a normal human who happens to know how to perform some spells?
The line is more or less drawn when the character chooses to draw the line themself. Witches, generally speaking, have done a good bit of study, even if they’re self taught, significantly beyond a simple hobby level.
if witches can learn magic later on in life, is there a specific process they have to go through / do they have to attend classes for this kind of thing? or can they be self-taught like I picked up a book on magic at the library, it seems cool, I'ma dabble
Witches can be self taught, and humans can also dabble in magic without being witches! There is no specific process; it works differently for each person, just like how we all learn differently in reality.
HUNTER QUESTIONS
is it possible to play as a freelance/third-party affiliated hunter? or do we strictly have to stay within dsem/aequitas? if we can go freelance/third-party, what limitations would our muses have? what is deemed illegal/non-illegal behavior/actions for hunters?
Freelance/third-party hunters are acceptable, naturally, but bear in mind that it can be difficult to find hunting jobs as these types due to the stronger prevalence of the other factions. Third-party hunters likely have their own ways of getting resources and information; freelancers are going to have the hardest time here, and hence will most likely only be able to find paid hunting work in… rather shady dealings.
In general, even Aequitas’s work isn’t strictly legal, but officials are often willing to turn a blind eye in the case of actions related to hunting supernaturals if justification can be presented. Of course if hunting is a “hobby” for a muse and they don’t expect to make a living doing it, that can drastically change things—but ones who do it purely out of moral conviction are most likely to find a home in Aequitas! On the same note, remember that Aequitas hunters are loosely affiliated at best; a hunter in the guild may never so much as speak to other guild members apart from the times they need information or to buy wards or silver weapons. Aequitas is a guild, after all; while some of then may consider each other family, others barely interface socially at all.
would a hunter that hunts hunters still be considered a hunter or something else?
I mean if they want to call themself a hunter they can… but that sounds a bit like a serial killer. Not that a lot of hunters are much better, though…
can a human just be a regular human civilian? because all the humans I’m seeing on the mlist seem to be hunters.
Humans don’t have to be hunters, and hunters don’t have to be human. “Hunter” is an occupation, not a species.
SILLY QUESTIONS
(note: Helsing answers silly questions in utmost seriousness because they are completely devoid of humor.)
What would happen if a vampire bit a were?
Weres can’t be turned, and becoming a vampire is much more complicated than just biting. Only “humans” can be turned — where weres, fae, and vampires are considered “non-human” supernaturals, and witches and beast-blooded are considered “human” supernaturals.
Can my vampire shapeshift into a cockatoo?
… Yes.
Can weres get cones of shame?
I don’t see why not?
Do hunters have cone of shame devices that can like zap weres into being good?
I would not think….. that DSEM wants weres hunting under them. since they’re kinda anti-supernatural in the writing. Aequitas people can do….. whatever they want i guess as long as it’s not hurting innocents?
Are there otherkin who identify as supernatural? Are there beauty bloggers who do “supernatural looks”? Are supernaturals fetishized? Can you find spells on youtube? How does atheist youtube feel about that?
… The internet is, and always will be a deplorable place, in every universe. So yes. Go wild. (Within reason).
(As a note, I feel beast-blooded probably suffer the most from the fetishization aspect. Not all beast-blooded are sexy “nekomimi” types, but nor are they all huge freakish monsters from bad horror movies… though I’m sure that’s exactly what the internet would lead you to believe. Being such a varied species that exists on the line between human and not is hard.)
(And on the note of spells on youtube, I feel that there are some very angry activist witches trying to get people to stop doing just that because doing magic without understanding the first thing about magic is extremely dangerous.)
Male witches are cucks.
Please ask questions only.
Why are there no elves in Obscura?
Because elves are fae.
This is 100% a serious question but like…can a witch get cursed…to have tentacles? Like octopus tentacles?
yes.
if a fae doesnt know what a belly button is by the time they make their greater illusion… or nipples…
The greater illusion comes naturally from the collective human unconscious of magic, don’t worry. Most fae won’t have that problem, though it may occasionally be an illusion flaw…
SILLY NSFW QUESTIONS
(beyond this point, these questions and answers may be somewhat nsfw!)
does viagra exist still in obscura? or is there magic to fix that?
There’s both.
will it work with fae?
Only if the dosage was made with fae magic in mind. Fae are non-biological, in the strictest sense, so non-magic medicines aren’t going to work on them.
Since vamps are dead, can they still get one up?
They have blood in their veins and can imitate all biological functions. Though doing so may require conscious effort and therefore not be worth it At All, vampires can nonetheless breathe and sweat and cry… and get boners.
does this mean weres get a little…needy during the spring time??
iiiii will leave that COMPLETELY to your interpretation. The official verdict is no a/b/o (words like alpha and beta should only be used to denote pack rankings, nothing about a were’s actual biology), but I’ll leave mating season urges to people’s personal tastes because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
is bad dragon a popular thing in obscura verse????
I, uh… well, beast-blooded exist…
#askanadmin#askanadmin: round 1#obsfaq#obsfaq: hunters#obsfaq: wards#obsfaq: species#obsfaq: fae#obsfaq: witches#obsfaq: weres#obsfaq: beastblooded#obsfaq: humans#obsfaq: vampires#obsfaq: setting#obsfaq: memes
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i'm the only one in my friend group who really loves romeo and juliet and doesn't think they're just "dumb teenagers" and i just want to thank you for your blog and your rants and all that good stuff. i really love reading all of it and we interpret the play so similarly!! it really keeps me sane whenever someone puts down r+j after i tell them it's my favorite shakespeare play. i love sensitive romeo and intelligent, capable juliet and yeah i just wanted to thank you for loving them too!!
Thank you so much! I’m happy to hear that you like my blog!
People react the same way when I mention that I am a Romeo and Juliet enthusiast. They roll their eyes as if they were saying, “pfft, she likes that stupid play about dumb teenagers!”. But oh man, I find the whole culture of Romeo and Juliet being “dumb kids” really disrespectful because (1) it dismisses their emotions simply because they are young and therefore cannot be thought of in earnest because oh, young people are too ignorant to know what they want and feel, and (2) it refuses to acknowledge their attempt to free themselves from the toxic environment they were raised in.
Romeo and Juliet covers a lot of issues that are still relevant today: violence, prejudice, hate, the atrocities that people are willing to commit solely to prove their superiority over others, murder, misogyny, toxic masculinity, gender roles, isolation, people’s unwillingness to forgive and to listen to others, resentment, pride, rage, abusive families, the reluctantly to value young people’s ideas, the tendency to overlook their problems and feelings, etc. I could go on. It’s a play about social oppression, about how a society that thwarts people’s freedom and imposes highly toxic ideals on them will irrevocably destroy itself.
Both Romeo and Juliet are bound to being what their parents want them to be. Their world forces them to give up their real aspirations, their real selves, in order to preserve those toxic ideals. Romeo is Montague’s heir, and he must behave as such. The feud is a great opportunity for men to show off their bravado and their masculine egos (the thumb-biting dialogue that Tumblr loves so much is a good example of this). And Romeo is expected to perpetuate such behavior. Look at Mercutio’s words:
Alas poor Romeo! He is already dead; stabbed with a white wench’s black eye; shot through the ear with a love-song; the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt-shaft: and is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
To him, Romeo cannot be a real man so long as he prefers poems over swords. Friar Lawrence tells him that he is an “unseemly woman in a seeming man” because his tears “are womanish”; the Nurse states that if he were a man, he would “stand up”. In 2.4, Mercutio believes that Romeo is only truly Romeo when he is jesting with his male friends: “Now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature.” (Little does he know that the reason Romeo is being so positive is because he spent the previous night talking to Capulet’s daughter about the insignificance of names.)
This mortifies Romeo. Look at his words in 3.3, right before attempting to kill himself:
O, tell me, friar, tell me,In what vile part of this anatomyDoth my name lodge? Tell me, that I may sackThe hateful mansion.[Drawing his sword]
This is heartbreaking. His social identity instills so much anxiety in him that this boy even craves death if that will permit him to extirpate such oppression from himself.
Juliet also struggles with the dynamics of her society. Nobody listens to her. Her parents harass her, Paris doesn’t care about her feelings, and even the Nurse turns her back on her at the end. But Romeo absolutely, wholeheartedly loves listening to her (“How is’t, my soul? Let’s talk; it is not day”), and entreats her to express herself continuously (“Ah, Juliet. If the measure of thy joy / Be heaped like mine, and that thy skill be more / To blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath / This neighbour air.) Basically, he treats her like a human being. This is why Romeo and Juliet’s relationship is so important. They help each other. They save each other. The way he talks about her denotes such transgression, such liberation from the limits of the world: “But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? / It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.” She is a light forcing its way through the obstacles imposed by Capulet’s house. She is literally the sun growing forcefully and killing the shadows. Juliet realizes there is something infinite inside her—she is as boudless as the sea, and she assures her screams could “tear the cave where Echo lies.”
Living in a society where names are everything, Juliet rejects all of that and builds a whole new identity for Romeo—one that is independent from the feud. I know the “wherefore art thou” speech is overused, but it makes so much sense that it is the most well-known part of the play, because it’s so revolutionary. “What’s Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, / Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part / Belonging to a man.” It’s like she is saying “fight me, try to tell me that his whole existence must depend on a mere word.”
They are just so, so good to each other. They are friends, as Juliet puts it. They are children living in a scary world full of hate and violence, but they can fearlessly let out their real selves when they are together, notwithstanding the chaos that is Verona. I can understand why some 19th-century guy decided to read the play as a cautionary tale against youth and love, but right now? In 2017? While people want to build walls between countries out of prejudice? While violence is so present in our daily lives? I can’t tolerate that reading, because I can’t ignore the hate that was promoted by Romeo and Juliet’s society, and I can’t ignore the fact that the lovers cling to each other in a really desperate attempt not to become what their parents want them to be. I can’t ignore the fact that they were so weary of their world that they conceived suicide as a way to escape. It’s selfish to ignore what they’ve gone through and claim that they killed themselves out of stupidity.
Their story is certainly not meaningless. It’s the tale of two young people who decide to break the rules and defend their actual, real identities, and thus try to get rid of the labels and chains their society tries to force on them. It’s a story that warns you about the dangers of any kind of oppression. It’s a story that tells you that your opinions, your dreams, your voice deserve to be heard, and that you should fight for yourself. And if Capulet and Montague were able to apologize and thus recognize Romeo and Juliet’s effort, then I think someone teaching this play in 2017 should stand up for those who were so terribly oppressed by their society. (Because the decontextualization of the story I blame mostly on how poorly teachers explain the play.) If someone mocks you for liking Romeo and Juliet, let them know that referring to them as two horny teenagers who got themselves killed is a very disrespectful way of ignoring the effects that violence, abuse, prejudice, and oppression have on their victims.
P.S. Thank you again for this sweet message!
#iuliet#thoughts#answered#Romeo and Juliet#Shakespeare#I'm sorry for such a long answer omg I just have so many feelings about this and your message really moved me!#<3#I'm so happy to hear that you also like sensitive Romeo and capable Juliet!!!#you know my ask box is always open for you to message me!!#lovely messages
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i don't want to step on any toes or sound like a complete snowflake but honestly your accessor au is a little triggering. i believe you've said in the past that you aren't a fan of non consensual themed stuff and it seems kinda hypocritical that you'd have an au based on slavery? bc no matter how you fold it dean is still property and still treated as property. i like most of your work and its a shame that you haven't invested more in your other aus.
Firstly, you’re absolutely right.
Non-con is my biggest squick. I generally refuse to write things that put anyone in a situation like that, where they don’t want what’s happening and they are being held or forced against their will. This is why I will almost universally leave prompts unfilled when they include themes of punishment, coercion, or torture.
Secondly, I expressly tag every Accessor AU post with “Accessor ‘verse” and try to include salient warnings for any objectionable themes (beyond the obvious) that come up. I’ve been assuming that’s enough for people to blacklist or choose not to read something that might upset them. But if there is something else I can do to help you – or anyone! – not see those posts by accident, please let me know. It’s really important to me that my readers don’t get ambushed by a trigger.
(Sidenote: I’ve heard rumblings lately that the concepts of “squick” and “trigger” can get confused. For anyone unsure of the difference, this post does a good job of explaining.)
So, with all of that being said...
You’re correct that Accessory Dean is property, which inherently complicates (or, some would argue, completely negates) the ability to give consent. When I first thought up the Accessor AU, I felt squeamish over sharing it publicly. I knew the concept was problematic. I knew some people would hate it. I knew it didn’t align with my usual brand of friendly, openly-consensual content.
I’ve talked a few times before – here and here – about how a slavery AU can be really questionable, both morally (an individual’s sense of right/wrong) and ethically (collective rules of right/wrong). I have never claimed that the concept is a-okay, and I try my best to show the reader that the societal thought patterns and constructs in the Accessor world are not aligned to our real-world ethics or morality.
(I am under no illusions that I manage these things perfectly, as a white woman from a relatively privileged background. But I am always trying to do better.)
Fanfiction can be many things to different people. It can be a way to “fix” what we don’t like about canon. It can allow us to relate to stories or characters in more intense ways. It can de-risk our exploration of precarious feelings or circumstances by imposing them on external characters instead of ourselves.
For me, the Accessor AU is about personal catharsis and turning a popular trope on its head.
When it comes to tickle fetish content, the single most prevalent theme is non-consent. “Let’s tie down this straight guy and tickle him ‘til he pisses himself!” “Watch sexy co-ed Kimmy get destroyed by her jealous sorority sisters!” “A wrongfully-convicted citizen gets sent to a tickle-torture detention center for an inescapable five-year sentence.” A common subset of the non-con theme involves tickle-slavery – “I’ve caught you, and now you’re mine to torment however I want, whenever I want.”
As a young teen exploring her desires on a developing internet in the late 1990s (who just dated herself? this gal), these themes were everywhere. They pervaded all the kinds of content I consumed, so I came to the conclusion that This Is Just How Things Are; there was no use in trying to avoid them, even if I kind of hated them. I say “kind of,” because they weren’t what I really wanted, but they still pushed the button, y’know? Complicated feelings.
Add to the complications that I was asexual (but didn’t identify/realize it until much later in life) while a majority of the available content involved varying aspects of nudity and sexuality. I didn’t like those, either. AND I was a minor. Yikes, right?
Talk about a recipe for confusion and shame.
I’m not going to wax poetic about “finding my tribe” here on Tumblr, because y’all have already heard me soapbox about that a dozen times. It took years of rediscovering who I was and what I liked before it didn’t feel shameful to allow myself to think about the less-fluffy expressions of my kink. Things like bondage, sensuality, even some forms of (limited, conditional) sexuality, and, yes, the inexplicable draw to see somebody caught and unable to escape being tickled. But I still wanted those things seasoned to my taste, with sweet flavors of desire and consent – on both sides of the cuffs.
Accessor AU Dean is a tickle slave, because the world he lives in happened to lead him there. Accessor AU Dean has it in him to enjoy being restrained and tickled, because that’s part of how he’s wired. Accessor AU Dean had really shitty experiences and trauma, because there are terrible, abusive people out there. Accessor AU Dean found someone who respects, values, and loves him regardless of his social status, because the roles the world gives us do not have to define who we are.
Can a situation like his be gross and non-consensual? Yes.
Can a situation like his be affectionate and enjoyable, even to the point of active, enthusiastic consent? Exploring that question is what this AU is all about. (Hint: I’m really aiming toward also yes.)
I feel like I’d be remiss to neglect stating, once again, that this is fiction, which is not aligned to our real-world ethics or morality. I don’t expect everyone to agree with my views on this, either. I’m going to stand up for those views, though, because if I don’t believe in my own work, then I’m just shilling snake oil to an unsuspecting audience. And I respect you too much for that. But my point is: I’m creating something that younger-me would have died for. Something that says, “Yes, you can have all the things you like, and no, you don’t have to compromise.”
People who like things I don’t are not wrong, nor are those who don’t like the things I do enjoy. Nobody alive on this earth is going to have the exact same preferences I do. My stories aren’t always for everyone, but if I can create content for someone – perhaps someone like me whose desires never seemed represented elsewhere – then I’m happy. Really, truly happy.
I started this post with a “firstly” and “secondly,” so I’ll wrap it with a “lastly.” Lastly, I don’t want you to think that just because I’ve “invested” a lot in the Accessor AU – over 30,000 words, actually – that it means I haven’t poured significant care into some of my other AUs! I really enjoy finding ways to translate different facets of what I like into distinct narratives. Here are a few of my more prolific ‘verses (and there are always more to be found in my masterpost):
Artist/Chef - college AU
tiny!ticklish!octo!Cas - what it says on the tin
TFW adopts a monster - a stray baby tickle monster comes to live in the bunker
Amateur Production - Wincestiel threesome makes tickle videos
Thank you for asking this question. I’m several weeks late in getting you an answer, but I wanted to give it the full time and respect I felt it needed.
#ask#anonymous#kink talk#personal time with wordstrings#Accessor 'verse#squicks vs triggers#consent#fanfiction meta
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