#i hate you but still love you hahaha
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I have seen people question whether dios apate minor really needed to happen the way it did. it's the 'this could have been an email' of htn. 'augustine this did not have to be a threesome', I hear people saying. and boy do I have an obnoxious amount of things to say to protest this perfectly sensible assertion so here we go haha
1) yes it absolutely had to be like that. It says so on this piece of paper *hands you a piece of paper that says "because I said so and also it's narratively and thematically Sexy"* in my half-legible handwriting. seeing tamsyn muir describe harrow the ninth as a book about being a kid and realizing your parents probably had sex has given me such validation, I am unstoppable now. (to be serious for a moment, harrow the ninth is essentially a bildungsroman, and the threesome scene does a whole lot of thematic heavy lifting around harrow glimpsing elements of adulthood, relationships, and sexuality she clearly finds at the same time repulsive, bewildering and fascinating, and around opening her and especially our eyes to how much john is just a man with human longings still, under the god stuff. dios apate is crucial plot- and character-wise too -- it's a loadbearing threesome in terms of delivering the clues you need to piece together the mystery plot of the book, which is simply delightful -- but even more so thematically. and then the scene at the end where they confront john gives gideon some of that same opportunity to peek into adulthood and go '...well shit I guess', as a sort of mirror, just without the french kissing that time and more murder. the things magnus and abigail model for the girls about love and adulthood? mercy and augustine are providing the opposite-day batshit insane version of that fhdskjfa, you know, for contrast and spice)
2) listen... it gets lonely out there in deep space with your 'legendary unamorous' brother, two infant pathetic baby kitten sisters who you'll probably have to kill one day when you take another stab at god if they don't manage to get themselves killed along the way on their own, and the two people you've spent the last ten thousand years having separate yet connected married & divorced arcs with and also btw one of them is god... honestly a threesome over the dinner table is probably The most well-adjusted reaction one might hope for under those circumstances
3) on a characterization level I think Augustine is actually doing something incredibly deliberate with it: he's presenting John with yet another chance to admit what he did. which is notable especially since the deal he and mercy agree on as a condition for the threesome to happen at all seems to be that they're going to give the ol' godslaying another game try sooner rather than later. (I get the sense that it's not so much that he disagrees with her ultimate goal so much as that he thinks she's being dangerously indiscreet and hasty going about it, before. “though I think it will be the death of us,” huh.)
notice how he's structuring the whole thing: he's invoking the intimacy and love in their strange little threeway relationship and how long it's been by truly playing along with john's 'we're a happy family really when we're at home! :)' delusion (helped along by lowered inhibitions via enormous amounts of alcohol and what I've previously described as a joint mercy/augustine leyendecker themed thirst trap. ah, a classic). he brings up alecto and what happened to her -- or rather, he is clever enough to make john bring up alecto and how she is totally dead, right?? by seeming to make a careless statement that leads there and then acting contrite about it after. he (helped along by mercy, who I think realizes exactly what he's doing -- this is very much a two-man con) brings up how much they all loved their cavaliers, and wow funny how that's been haunting us for ten thousand years now huh :) wow, a lot of our other lyctor friends slash family sure are super dead in the name of some unknowable greater reason neither of us quite grasp and that you won't fucking tell us, aren't they. these are all the main grievances he and mercy confront john about at the end of the book, but put forth much more subtly and not phrased as an accusation -- he's baring his and mercy's vulnerabilities as bait, essentially. if john had, say, a conscience where his conscience should be instead of a black hole, it probably should have stirred something in him.
(also let me just say... the way augustine just takes a pneumatic drill to the TWO tender spots g1deon seems to have and then has the audacity to be like 'oh dear. did that upset him. ooof my bad *loooong dead-eyed slurp of his wine*' is just sooo... he's such a bitch!!! he's the only person who could ever have held their own in a ten-thousand-year bitch-off with mercy and I love him so much. well even if it wasn't all to get g1deon into murder range for harrow I think he wouldn't enjoy sticking around for the 'getting our tongues on god' part of the evening so maybe it's a kindness, really, and totally not pent-up aggression from the last twenty years or so breaking through)
he is all but shaking john by the lapels begging him to just... come clean about it already, to stop thinking he's still kidding everyone else along with himself. it's clear throughout the book that augustine knows exactly what john is at this point -- and all of the most cynical things he does say about it turn out to be distressingly right. john is always less sentimental than you'd think. john wouldn't forgive mercy, he will abandon in a heartbeat anything that isn’t necessary to him anymore, whether emotionally or in some other way. and still he seems to hold out some desperate absurd hope that the man he wants, the man he thought was there, is in there, somewhere deep deep down, if he just gives him the chance to show himself.
(mercy definitely has her own side of this whole thing, I'm just focusing more on augustine because this evening was like. his idea in the first place and I feel like we can Read Some Things into that fact lol. now that we have both ntn and htn to go from I sort of have this sense that the things augustine wants from john are more... personal? more interpersonal? they both love him equally, but mercy's love seems tinged slightly more towards the religious (augustine accuses her of knowing 'only worship without adoration', which like... also the eight house's entire Vibe lol) -- mercy at the end of that book is totally a person breaking up with GOD, not just with john -- while augustine's vibe is more like a man in the last not-with-a-bang-but-a-whimper days of a marriage that sort of felt like it could have been something real and good once but all your illusions about it have since been taken from you and trampled underfoot into the mud and you've had the divorce papers signed and ready in a drawer for over a year now, hell, as it turns out, is other people etc. lmao)
having a threesome over the dinner table with god is one thing, having a threesome over the dinner table centered on the one man and god who has yet again let you down in a way so fundamental it can barely fit into words and who you both still love in a way anyway, miserably, and also just reaffirmed your joint resolution to murder (all under the pretense that it gives your baby sisters the chance to murder your brother of ten thousand years yeah that's why this is happening no other underlying aching emotional motivations here haha)... listen mercy and augustine are simply on a different level, theologically. they've added horny shrimp colours to the religious spectrum. who else does it like them
#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#augustine the first#mercymorn the first#john gaius#dios apate minor#bad cop worse cop and sorry cop#augustine 'when I die I want john to lower my casket#not so he can let me down one last time that's honestly a given at this point#if at all possible I just want to pull him down into the grave with me' quinque#first saint to serve the king undying#nona the ninth spoilers#nominally? in that I am saying there's relevant information to this polycule clusterfuck in it? eh let's just be safe lol#just when you thought I had no more thoughts about the terrible old people to unleash upon you... here I am again hahaha#the locked tomb meta#also yeah I mean I guess they didn't actually have to get their tongues on god on-page for all this to still be true#but I'm glad they did let them have some lyctor enrichment#hate fucking is actually lyctor love language hashtag did u kno
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Finished the Seashells collection a couple of weeks ago, so I drew my girl who did it all possible.
#neopets#neotag#neoart#aisha#god i HATE RESTOCKING SDFG#I have fun memories now that weeks have passed and this drawing is kinda old and forgot to upload it#but my gods was it a nightmare on the last stretch HSHJS#i actually finished the shenkuu one too before i finished this drawing oOOPS;#anyways aishas are fun to draw just found out#unrelated how did the ogrin drawing got 250+ notes like what????? ?? ??#I wasn't even that proud of it#but to everyone that commented nice things i've read you all and have made 100% of the motivation i've been having lately hahaha#I should draw my neo characters more ofter but;;; hmmm...... I'm still working them outttttt#and i don't want to present cringe on the neotag HASJKDAS#at least not for now LMFAO#vin doods#to whoever is reading my tags by this point i'd love receiving requests in my inbox#I'm always in look for ideas#art trades as well!!#although i know no one here i'm still open for them ahaha#ok too much rambling
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was starting to hijack in the tags of that post i just reblogged but ohhhhh it is so juicy to me that the end of TKM is just part of the rising action of andrew's character arcs. and yet the way the novel leaves off, you can have so much hope in the ways its going to continue -- especially because neil proves to us on the last page that he's going to fight like hell to hold onto him whatever comes next.
it's just !!!! all andrew's deals are done. neil's big happy moment of relationship security comes from the fact that andrew didn't deny its existence lol. BUT neils correct to be happy about this, because he knows andrew is a black & white thinker, and he's entering unchartered territory! all his lil lies he uses to duct tape his sanity together are coming apart, and that break is going to be FASCINATING. i doubt it'll be explosive or anything -- andrew's more the "quietly self-destruct climax" type than the "defeat the mafia thru the power of sports climax" type -- but it'll sure be something interesting. and then once it all breaks, we know he'll have neil and kevin and his family and the foxes to help him heal -- and he'll have to believe it when they show they care about him, because he literally doesn't owe anyone anything
#i think thats why all my aus put andrew in his Self Destruct Era#because im just so positive that he well on his way to that at the end of tkm#actually im amending the tags a bit bc i think what i sometimes end up doing w him in aus is a product of the fact that my stories rarely#have extreme external plot elements#like andrew never thinks neil DIES lol#baltimore is so fucking integral to andrews development#he did not have time to do the full self destruct 'oh no can i live without him' era because#he literally got tested on that and he FAILED HAHAHA#so he def knows that he needs neil#the crux of the conflict still is -- can he accept this without hating himself?#because if THATS not addressed then eventually his logic is going to warp#and hes going to do stupid shit#and yeah :) i love when he does stupid shit and then ppl are like#NOPE. unfortuantely you have fucked up severely#and in order to get back what you cant live without#you must board the Self Love Express !!!!#its a journey lil man!!!!!#youre gonna hate it!!!!!!!! youre gonna go on it anyway!!!!#SCRMEEEEAMMMM i love andrew minyard
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Hey!! I just wanted to say thanks for all your hard work <3<3
I had been a little down when it came to creating more content or being involved in Zukka side of the fandom but seeing your update reminded me to just have fun. And okay this is going to sound bad but I swear I mean this as a compliment; I thought I was wasting my time working for months and years on the stuff I made, but then I realized your fic series brings me so much joy and I'd never, ever judge you for the amount of effort you put into your writing. Seeing it's actually inspiring, to see that someone holds that much passion and creativity and you are sharing it all for FREE. That a person could take all this time to intricately weave together a story, create memorable OCs, breathe new life and make the ATLA world so much bigger than it ever was in canon.
So thanks for accidentally giving me a kick in the butt to stop being judgy about my own work and making me realize you and every fan creator is AWESOME.
I hope you have a wonderful day, your writing is a blessing.
awwww I wanted to say thank you for sending me this ask! I know it’s not easy to put yourself out there, even on anon, so I think it’s cool you felt confident enough to come here and tell me about how you’re feeling.
I don;t think what you’re saying is bad at all haha, because honestly, I feel the same way. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered why the fuck am I still doing this? What’s the point? Do people even still care? What if it’s not good enough? What if people discover I have no fucking idea what I’m doing? Why am i spending so much of my time and effort doing this?? I mean… the self doubt is super real, and shiiiiiit let me discover one person that feeds into my self doubt and I’m full on spiraling haha. (Be nice to creators damn it! we are doing our damn best lol)
I’m really glad you think my fic is awesome, and if it weren’t people like you reminding me, I probably would have given up a long time ago haha. I do give my fic a lot of effort, and I hope you continue to give your creations the same amount of love and effort! I’m sure you’re amazing, and seriously don’t give up! I care about your creations and if I don’t get to stop neither do you! WOHOOO!!
Thanks for the ask anon sorry it took me so long to answer
#I am the kind of person who is like AWWWW NO ASKS…#then I get an ask and I’m like YAY ASK!!!#& then I;m like OH NO HOW DO I ANSWER THIS ASK!?!?!?#but then if I don’t get an ask in a while I assume everyone hates me and then the cycle starts over again when I get another ask#but seriously anon DON’T STOP CREATING!!!!!#I wish the voices in our head weren’t constantly trying to discredit us#I also think the pressure we put on ourselves to be good enough is fucking dumb#like who cares if people like reblog comment kudo all that stuff#but ugh we all care so much#I love that you see all my passion and creativity in LIAB because I do put a lot of effort into that stupid fic#and yeah it stresses me out but when I see that it brings people joy and its worth it#& its not even that it’s stressful to write#I fucking love writing it#but yeah don’t think you’re alone with the ‘what’s the point’ thoughts#I’m sure we’ve all been there#at least I know I have been there#and kind of still am in there hahaha#thanks for this ask anon I hope I didn’t ramble too much#I hope you show me when you create something new! I’d love to see it#LIAB#ask
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once again rubbed the wrong way by friends who unintentionally reveal that they dont really engage with my masculinity in any real way and see me as nonbinary (female-lite)
#leologisms#...................i need more trans friends. in real life#its so frustrating. your gay friends knowing youre transgender but still being able to tell that yeah. they really do just see you as#female-lite. and pushing back by overcorrecting the other way. but im NOT a trans man! and im not a woman either! and the label#nonbinary doesnt fit me even if other people might understand my identity best as under that label. im just transgender. none of#your business. but hearing people say 'well thats why you dont date men' and 'ugh i hate men' etc while i KNOW what they mean#the fact that theyre ok just saying that around me. TO me. a bisexual transgender. feels so bad.#not only am i not masculine in their eyes theyre also telling me that to them masculinity is inherently. dirty. dangerous. but thank god IM#not like that right? hahaha!!!!! thank god i would never be attracted to masculinity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#.........god. anyway. the thing that prompted this happened a few days ago now and it was just a throwaway comment#but my awful brain loves latching onto those. so whatever.
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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious#that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much#i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like#such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him#frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again#dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest#the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary#and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit#i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline#which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all#but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored#i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already#so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight#into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them#also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw#but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just#let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too#often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time#i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me#maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a#'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe#it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun#p
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listening to the patched-in oxenfree anomalies for the first time since playing lost signals. having context for all of this...man.
#digi discusses#olivia.....................................i can't keep crying over olivia like this#also i'm still p sure charlie's VA is different in the actual game in the anomalies it sounds like khoi to me for real!#i love charlie SO much i love him SO much in these you are missing so much of his character without these#also thinking about violet having a little crush on charlie too...lmfao these kids are so messy#violet being the one to casually talk about suicide too...hahaha#of course she kinda Gets It#the fact the british voice was cyan the whole time...i feel so stupid it seems so obvious now#'i hate you'...them singing together...'i will'.........fucking sobbing#oxenfree II lost signals#oxenfree II spoilers
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i think its kinda funny that ibis paint is regarded as the Broke Artist App or whatever (as opposed to more mainstream programs like csp or procreate) because its free and because of how popular it is with phone + finger artists while im jusg sitting here having used ibis for a cool eight years on purpose.
like i have an ipad and an apple pencil and all theyre very nice and i absolutely could move to a more powerful program i have the resources to do so but my change averse brain has decided they like it here a lot and im not leaving
#not talking smack on phone and finger artists btw. some of my mutuals use their fingers and their art goes crazy i respect that so much#even when i did use my phone (most of 14 crush was done on a phone!) i still had to use a cheap rubber stylus hahaha#anyway maybe ill try procreate someday but also i hate learning new programs and i like ibis's brushes too much#fingers crossed that they add fully custom brushes someday though#like id love to be one of those artists that makes really cool art with ridiculous shapes and nobody even knows until they tell you#younger artists might not know this but modern ibis is STACKED compared to how it was in 2015#like i remember when clipping layers were first implemented. and they sucked. like they didnt fully go over the lower layer#so it just left a gross tiny outline around the shape#and there wasnt any border or text tools either#and there was a hard cap on layer count depending on your device's storage and the canvas size#modifying brushes wasnt even a thing HAHAHAHAH you just used what you had#anyway okiku reference window unrelated shes just there for something else im working on<3#bri talks#for the record all this is to say i think the smack talk towards ibis is pretty unwarranted#like yeah maybe its not as powerful as a lot of these fancy paid apps but i honestly think its insanely good for being a free program#i think getting rid of the ads costs more now than it did when i paid to get rid of them but i mean#free with ads is still a lot more than csp's ever gonna give you!!!!#(psst. secret from me to you! you wont get any ads if you disable the app's data usage and turn off wifi when you use it)#(alternatively just use airplane mode but you can still get texts and stuff the first way)
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i think i figured out what bothers me about live action netflix Yue
she kinda acts like a 21st century girl that was plopped into the middle of this fantasy story.
#likee do you have to live within the constraints of this fantasy feudal society or not!? it's cute you use your powers to make ice cream#but what are your opinions on the restrictions of your waterbending? what spiritual leading were you doing exactly?#has she fought with her father about it before? gIMME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH HERE#look. i also just think it would've been way spicier and dramatic if she was betrothed to hahn while getting hot and bothered over sokka#think of the forbidden love storyline!!! why do the writers hate me!! GIVE ME THE DRAMA. I WANTED DRAMA. scandalous affair with the swt boy#+ she met one day ago?? sign me tf up!! i would watched the hell out of that. plsss they let me down so bad with the yuekka romance.#they could've outsold but instead they gave us That. yuekkas everywhere in despair lmaoo.#me#natla#Yue#idk how else to describe it...like cartoon yue could've definitely been written better. she was a barely there but still tragic.#the things they added were nice but they didn't address it much? she is the future chief! cool! she can waterbend! nice!#she can visit the spirit world in her dreams! okay! but what else?? idk her personality was just Off hahaha
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12. Name of your favourite playlist?
18. Ideal weather? 💖💖
12. 2022 🎶🎆💋
18. Ooooo I have two hope that’s ok 🥰
💖 a chilly autumn day. Sun is peeking through fluffy clouds and I’m wrapped up in a cozy sweater. Not cold just chilly. Cuddle weather 🥰
💖 the beginning of spring. When the snow is melting and everything feels new and clean. Maybe the flowers are even starting to grow and bloom 😊 the reminder that even after a cold and brutal winter there’s always a sunny spring that will melt all the snow and bring back some warmth ☀️
#honestly my playlist game has been lackingggggg#i blame Spotify#idk why but whenever I’m off wifi it says I’m ‘offline’ and I can only listen to my downloaded shut#*shit#I pay for the premium shit#like that’s the first thing I usually make sure I have enough money for hahaha#music is important to me#but ever since this shit has happened#I haven’t been able to explore music and create playlists 😓#when I go home I’m gonna make a new one#still haven’t made a new one for 2023 tbh#it honestly sucks cause rn I’m listening to a playlist that I’ve heard a billion times cause it’s all I have downloaded 😓#ok anywayyyyy#where was I#*takes a hit*#oh yeah#I think all in all my favorite weather is chilly#where you can bundle up in a jacket and not be cold or hot#I hate being hot#but I love bundling up#ya know ya know#thank you for the questions!#you are so so lovely 💖#ask
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fondly thinking about my best friend.
no idea how she's managed to stick it out with me this far but i'm amazed that after over 6 years she still has enough patience to tolerate me.
when i don't feel like i'm good enough, she reminds me of who i am. when i make mistakes, she doesn't treat me any different. when i'm highly dysphoric, she just /gets/ it and shows me unrelenting support and encouragement. she's my #1 hypeman, and i am hers.
there isn't another person in the world that's been able to make me feel even.. remotely okay in my own skin, about how i look and how a body feels (i would also say about who i am, but i'd be lying).
i realize that i've always had a bit of body dysmorphia and generally don't enjoy looking at my own face because it's.. very uncanny to me. i don't have a proper sense of style. but she always just?? has something nice to say and she does it so genuinely that you can actually believe that she means what she says. because she's the same.
i'll go out looking like a 12 year old boy and she's just. fucking. there for it. she'll cheer for it. do it with me. and then we'll walk around the block looking like two lil' dudebros together because we own the same clothes. and fucking hell.
this girl is too good to me. i absolutely don't deserve her.
sometimes it's hard to believe that someone like her exists.
and that i get to be witness to it.
there's caveats, of course. we talk so rarely (we go weeks without), the interests we share are few and far between and there's.. so many things i could never tell her because i will never get over that fear of losing her.
there is no right moment and there isn't a time and those are things i neither need nor want her to know, because it would change the way she sees me.
and i guess that seems callous and detached and dishonest.
but we are there when it matters. i am there when she needs me and i will always pick up her pieces.
i want her to have a good thing. she sees me as a good thing.
so i'll let her have me this way.
#the one person i've not yet managed to hurt and i don't think i ever fucking will#i'd throw myself off a damn cliff first#this girl just saw me one day when i showed up to school. decided i /seemed/ too cool for school and adopted me over the summer.#like what. how. i am THE lamest guy™ AND SHE somehow STILL thinks i'm cool what a nerd UGH#it's just sad that we're at the point where we have little to tell each other because our lives are so different & we live far apart#at least we can take naps with each other and just chill out when we meet. we can just.. be in the moment together and enjoy it.#and that is still. everything.#also like. i generally don't take selfies but i did a few days ago because i thought i looked kinda cool and i told her about it and#she really wanted to see & she is the only person i'd ever send selfies to and she just...#'bug those last three could work as a hot fuckboy tinder profile' LOL bless her that's the funniest shit i've ever heard#IDK IT'S that thing where you love and care so much for someone that they become infiniely more attractive than they are at first glance?#but she's the only person that i'd ever actually be able to believe. because she is so fucking genuine.#i'll also never get over the fact that she is the smartest and most studious person i know but listens to the most anti social german rap#like LMAO okay girl! you go! i hate it but i love you#it's just a funny contrast that she listens to the filthiest shit imaginable hahaha#personal
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society if robin and vickie had had more than three scenes together idk
#and they don't even talk in all three lmaooo#i hope they manage to make everyone love vickie next season and they actually writeher into the storyline#they could've...just done that this season but it's whatever i'm not in the writers roomsurely they know why the only wlw ship were getting#only got two minutes of screentime hahaha#it's actually really insulting so even though i'm hoping for the best you will always be encouraged to criticize the ship around me#not that there's anything wrong with the ship itself it's just the execution like hello? we literally got NOTHING#and of course we still have season 5 but it's just annoying it annoys me that we could've already been loving rovickie and instead im just.#waiting for season 5 not thinking about them that much since we literally got nothing we got nothing they could've given us something to#work with#i'm not gonna force anyone to love the ship solely because it's the canon sapphic ship because WE GOT NOTHING lmao (and also i don't think#that's fair not liking a ship doesn't say anything about anyone's qualities disliking a ship doesn't mean you hate lesbians lol)#but yeah. it's just annoying and i wish we would've gotten something better and i wish people wouldn't talk about them the way they do#and they wouldn't (some of them at least) if they had gotten just the tiniest amount ofdevelopment#and like i say: brf slt
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me coming back from two days of Eid-ing drenched in sweat and probably smelling of firework residue to edit your number one bestseller twilight fanfic <33
surprisingly i still got a lot of Eidi even though i've long surpassed the age of receiving them. so let that be a lesson, there are many benefits to being short you sucker ╰(￣ω￣ｏ)
alright bye betch
Dude!! FACE REVEAL?!?! Haha
I’m just glad I got to slightly participate (TWO YEARS IN A ROW BESTIE)
I’m not going to say anything else to you because you just called liab a twilight fanfic & now I hate you.
#next year I’m burning the cookies#& I call them twilight cookies#just for you#I still blame pphaps for bringing those stupid parallels into liab#I hate it I hate it I hate it#well at least you’re editing for me again#FINALLY#hahaha jk I took the free time to write almost 8k of the next chapter haha#I’m insane#still mad at you#thotty tag#thotty mcbotty#thotty is mean to me#I do nothing wrong I’m so innocent and loving#:D#liab#ITF
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#obsessed w this image. i love himmm#bought volume 8 when i was in warsaw yesterday :-) yayyy#but . um. hey so like i think Ios camp should all be hunted down for creating heart swells/pacific daylight time. like Hello. Stop It.#sleep well... i feel......... uve ruined me forever.......... <- least tortured 16 year old dealing w a disastrous first relationship#17 year old in A WEEK. WHO CHEERED#but yeah oh woah i hope the shadow man fucking kills me in my sleep tonight this SUCKS. just like so bad#the first time ive listened to this song i . like. mhh#so like this is how you spell hahaha ive destroyed the hopes and dreams of a generation of faux-romantics Fucked Me Up#for a solid month i just felt like dogshit about like the Everything about me#i really saw myself in the character of the woman in this and i Hated it. this song genuinely changed me a lot#for good i think. ive been trying to start reading again (its going. badly.) and i dont think id be doing this if it werent for this song#but still. it made me hate myself on like a brand new fucking level. shit was crazy. but i kept listening to it cause i loved it#now. heart swells/pacific daylight time i had to skip on my first (& only) listen of we are beautiful we are doomed#i got like 40 seconds into it and just realized that Oh Wow. I Cant Do This.#the Everything that ive been upset about these past few months was too fresh back then. and that song really like . Got It#tho like. ermm actually ☝️🤓 hes gonna be on eastern standard not pacific daylight#it was fun . it made me start shaking so hard like for realll#i dont think i really like. feel a lot? but when i do its . huge#anyway idk where im going w this. i like this band. they write good songs.#i have some on my reo playlist. next to not one but twooo frax songs cause we all need more hyperpop on our character playlists#voidcore.txt
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My sister wanted to watch dance moms last night like… as if it’s a comedy… and my god is it not at all funny or enjoyable to watch. Crazy to me that it was even aired as entertainment at all considering how fuckin abusive the adults are to the children involved
#like hahaha these parents are so fuckin neglectful of their child’s emotions and is making their self esteem come entirely from winning#being skinny and attractive#the amount of ‘man up’ ‘tough love’ ‘stop crying’ ‘you have to put dance first’ etc. was insane#and hearing the moms say they were dancers from a young age or their kid ‘wants nothing but to win’ or ‘she’s a perfectionist’ or some shit#when you can tell it’s 100% the moms not the kids that are like that… just the sheer disconnect and lack of care for who they are#and ngl the teacher brought back horrible feelings from getting talked to like that by teachers in school#that shit’s awful and I can’t believe the parents would still force their child into that situation knowing the effect it has on them#eugh. just eugh#couldn’t make it through 1 episode and then cried after lmao#and the moms lowkey hating the dance teacher and having mental breakdowns over her rudeness/treatment of the kids AND YET STILL PAYING TO#HAVE THEIR KIDS IN HER CLASSES#like what the fuckkkkk your kid was sobbing after her ‘tough love’ and is stuck with immense pressure and stress about getting it right…#and she’s pitting them against each other and making the kids that aren’t as good feel lesser#maybe fucking stop ???#I guess the problem is the parents are just as bad just in their own way cuz they don’t give a shit if it hurts the kids either#as long as they win/stay in dance/stay being the best#the teacher not letting a kid stop because she was nauseous and the mom intervening because she looked like she was going to throw up… only#to say ‘stop crying its not a big deal’ and saying ‘you never miss dance though’ when the kid is sobbing saying she wants to go home#really got to me ngl… made me fucking sick to watch#me talking#dance moms
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здраствуйте можно сделать реакцию на ревность аластора
Translated:
Hi, can I get a reaction to Alastor's jealousy?
Yes.
Jealousy Headcanons
Alastor X Reader
Warning! ⚠
⚠ platonic to romantic, violence, all caps in bold italics = SOUND EFFECTS, implied torture/murder, gore? eyeballs, possessive? Alastor wants all of your attention ⚠
Alastor has never felt jealous! How absurd of you to think that! Hahaha! Ha... Who is that demon taking up your attention?
He always had your attention.
You could be talking to the Princess but still focus on him.
Hell, you could be checking in a guest and still keep up with his tale of the day.
But now it was quite odd.
There was a demon coming by the hotel, not to see if they were interested in the cause but to use up his friend's precious time.
Even now the beastly thing walked up to the check in counter and started up a conversation with you.
He watched from the bar.
"Hey! I see its dead as ever in here.", the dragon demon grinned as they leaned on the counter.
"Not true~", you had replied. "I checked in four new guests!"
Yes, you had a knack of persuasion. Able to convince many to do almost anything. Sometimes even him.
"Oh yeah? How many sinners walked in?", the scaled creature leaned close.
Far too close for his liking.
"I just told you how many.", you replied and placed a finger on the dragon's snout, pushing them back as well. "Personal space."
He didn't like this demon.
Everything about them set something off. Their manners, their way of speaking, the way they move-
"Oh come on, I don't bite sugar cake~", the beast took your hand and kissed their way up to your elbow.
The way they t̵̬̥̻͂̿̈́ȏ̴̒͠u̸c̷̈́̊̆́̓͘h̷e̴̖̖͒̓͂͋̎ḑ̴̣̋͜ you.
"Nope!", you yanked your arm away and held it close. "None of that.", you laughed nervously with an uncomfortable smile.
It looked wrong. Your smile should be a happy one.
"I said I don't bite!", they laughed and tried to grab at your arm again. "You know I'm messing! When's your break?", they leaned over the counter, still trying to get at something to pull you closer. "I know a good bar to go to, or we can go to the club! I'd like to see your ass in something a little less-"
"Ew, no.", you rejected and backed away.
"Come on!", they started to climb on the counter. "Its just one time! I'll even help you get in and out of your clothes.", they grabbed onto your sleeve.
That's ENOUGH!
He quickly shadow traveled and snatched the wrist of the dragon.
"I believe they said no."
The beast growled with a sneer before looking at him, freezing up once realizing who had their wrist.
"I was just joking man. Haha..", the dragon looked between him and you. "I understand! I'll back away. The slut is yours."
"Excuse me!?", you said angrily.
His antlers grew, the low static that hummed now raising up in volume.
"₵₳ⱤɆ ₮Ø ⱤɆ₱Ɇ₳₮ ₮Ⱨ₳₮?"
"The slut-"
SNAP
He held the demon's snout shut as they screamed and cried over their broken wrist.
"Now, there is a no killing rule in the hotel.", he said and then grinned menacingly. "But that doesn't apply outside."
His smile widened after seeing the panic in their eyes.
"Dear.", he turned to face you. "Has this guest overstayed their welcome?"
You stared at the beast with such a terrifyingly hateful glare.
"Yes they have.", you replied, crossing your arms. "I'd like to keep a souvenir, for memories."
And then you gave him that lovely smile.
"Alastor, do you think you could get me a dragon eye or two? I hear they make nice details to things."
"I'll make sure to get them.", he released the demon, only for his tendrils to take hold of them. "I won't be long.", he reassured, lifting up your hand to kiss the back of it.
He saw you blush before he 'escorted' the demon outside.
After finishing up (and calling Niffty to clean up), he returned with two freshly picked dragon eyes.
You thanked him with an odd little gleam in your eyes. No doubt your mind jumping idea to idea of what you could create with them.
Now with the pest gone, he would have your attention again.
Just like he wanted
"Thank you Alastor. I'll be able to make something interesting with these."
"I can't wait to see what you make this time."
Perhaps he'll ask you that question sooner than later.
Of course he has to prepare everything to properly court you.
I am using a website to translate requests. Please let me know if I have translated anything wrong.
~Seline, the person.
Taglist@
@willowaudreykeyes @biromanticboba @kiraisastay @pooplyface1423 @ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @lbcreations-blog @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @+?
ML for Alastor🎙
#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor the radio demon#gn reader#the radio demon#alastor x reader#headcanons#alastor headcanons#jealousy#implied murder#implied torture#gore?#eyeballs#this turned out more like a fic#he do want all your attention tho
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