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#i hate migraines so fucking much UGH.
catastrophic-crow · 7 months
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migraines suck so bad
#thats it thats the post#fuck migraines#if it was just the pain; i would be. well; not 'fine.' but i could deal with it. but migraines are a massive bag of annoying other symptoms#like; “huh. why is my emotional regulation shot and also it's impossible to focus and my body hurts more and i can't get comfortable and—”#it's a migraine.#fuck; i WISH they were just painful. i can deal with pain so much better than i can deal with a grab bag of fuck-off symptoms. and pain.#ugh#my skin feels too small and my joints are all wrong and my skeletal muscles hurt and noises are terrible and my scalp hurts and—#ughhhhhh#i hate migraines#migraines#chronic illness#rant post#irl stuff
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facioleeknow · 5 months
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Frat boy 2 • Choi Seungcheol
WC: 868. Genre: Frat boy au
TW: bisexual Vernon and Reader, suggestive thoughts, sassy writing, maths
He fell first and hard. She thinks he hates her but he's actually emotionally constipated.
Mathematics sucks. Most people can agreed on that, approximately 90% percent of the world's population. The bad news is that those 10% appeared to have been on the board at your colleges but that same wretched subject was a MANDATORY subject. 
So here you were sat first row because of your very poor eyesight instead of the back where you could sleep trying to make sense of Mathematics I. Your head started pounding as soon as you got into the class, the air in the room was enough to make you feel like you wanted to claw your eyes out. The scribbles on the blackboard made absolutely no sense. You looked around, everyone was nodding and happily writing along the professor. This had to be a nightmare, the ones where nothing makes sense and people glare at you like you're the weird one.
Unfortunately for you this was reality. Hard, cold and ruthless reality. You let your head hit the desk with a rather loud thud, you didn't care anymore nor did the professor in your defense. Daydreaming was the only thing that could save you from a full blown migraine, which you clearly didn't want. Closing your eyes, you inhaled deeply and tried to escape into your Dreamland where you didn't have to take a stupid maths class like this was some ordinary highschool or something. 
Your thoughts flew right to that scary but beefy blond dude you saw at SVT frat. He was clearly well built and you were sure that if the situation was different you would've drooled on him and maybe even asked him to touch his muscles. His hair also looked really soft and framed his face so perfectly, you were sure he was drowning in pussy. Ugh, that was so unfair. Why weren't you drowning in pussy? 
Your train of thoughts was rudely interrupted by the bell and then by Vernon who shook your shoulder so hard that you bumped your head against the desk again. At this rate you were going to get a concussion.
“Why aren't you taking notes?” he asked with that displeased look of his.
“Why are you all in my business Vernon?” you huffed, quickly shoving your things in your bag.
“I'm your friend, I don't want you to fail.” You pursed your lips at his words. He was just trying to be nice and you were sassy without a reason.
“Notes or not, I still don't get it, my brain is not wired like that.”
“I can ask Seungcheol to tutor you,” he exclaimed with a weirdly chirp smile on his face.
“Who?”
“Seungcheol, the head of my frat and the professor's TA. Choi Seungcheol.”
“Is that supposed to tell me something?”
“Did you ever pay attention?”
You looked at him with a raised eyebrow. The question was entirely too stupid and the answer was entirely too obvious for him. Vernon huffed.
“Don't worry about it I'll handle it. I have to go now, we got a new pledge yesterday,” he waved already half out the door.
“You're fourteen now? That house is a fucking nightmare.”
The same day you received a text from Vernon saying that it was all set and to meet him at his cursed frat house. You rolled around in bed debating whether to go or not, it would've messed with your napping schedule but maybe sacrificing a nap to pass a class wasn't the end of the world. Getting up took all of your strength and getting dressed took even more, by the time you were halfway to the house you were cranky, tired and sluggish.
Seungcheol had never been more awake on the other end. Tutoring? You? He could never pull that off. He’d had his eyes on you since the first day you stepped into the class, you were clearly not paying attention so he doubted you noticed him. Mathematics I, which was dreadful for him because he hated teaching, it required too much patience, started to become the happiest part of his week. He looked forward to see you daydream, the way you twirled your hair in your hand and rested your cheek on your hand was enticing and hypnotizing.
As Cheol saw you walk towards him, looking clearly tired and pouty, he heard angels sing, church bells ring and birds tweet. He wanted to wrap his arms around you and watch you sleep on his chest, he also wanted to bury his head between your thighs until he couldn't breathe anymore but that was a thought for another time.
“Good luck Coups,” smirked Vernon. He knew. He did it on purpose.
As your eyes laid on Seungcheol your steps faltered. Wasn't he the guy that was looking at you like he wanted you to combust? What was he doing here? Why did he look like he was waiting for you?
“Hi, I'm Seungcheol, you can call me Coups. I'm your tutor,” he kindly extended your hand to you. His grip was gentle and his hand was warm and steady.
“I'm Y/N, thank you for agreeing to tutor me.” 
Oh my god her hand is so soft, thought Cheol, he was sweating bricks.
“Shall we go in?”
#kpop#reader insert#seventeen#seventeen x reader#seungcheol x reader#choi seungcheol#choi seungcheol x reader#choi seungcheol imagines#seungcheol#seungcheol imagines#frat boy scoups#frat boy seungcheol#frat boy seventeen#frat boy au#scoups x reader#scoups#scoups imagines#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen au
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mamawasatesttube · 9 months
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How about 35: "It's just a headache, I'm fine."
With Tim taking care of Kon after he overused his TTK?
A sliver of light falls across the floor from the hallway as the door starts to open. With the haze of pain fogging up his entire brain, it's barely enough warning for Kon to remember to croak out, "Don't."
Tim stops, hand falling away from the light switch. "Kon?"
Even the idea of lifting his head from the balled-up hoodie he's using as a pillow is agonizing, so Kon opts for the world's most pathetic peace sign. "Sup."
"What are you doing?" Tim slowly closes the door again, at least; the darkness is blessed relief from the stabbing pain behind Kon's eyes at even the faintest light. "Why are you on the floor?"
Kon squeezes his eyes shut, ignoring the way Tim is definitely scrutinizng him in the dimness. His brain is probably doing that BBC Sherlock thing, tagging and analyzing his pained body language, the way he keeps pushing his thumbs into the pressure points just below his eyebrows, the tension in his shoulders. Tim would hate it if he described it as a BBC Sherlock thing, of course; that's why Kon keeps doing it.
"It's just a headache." His voice is a little too breathy from pain to be dismissive, but he tries. "I'm fine."
"You could've gotten in the bed, at least." Tim sinks down next to him on the rug. "What caused it? Are you hurt?"
"Fuck, Rob, not so loud," Kon groans, rubbing his temples. "Ugh. S'nothing. Overdid the TTK holding all those skyscrapers up for so long this afternoon, that's all. And bed sounded too hot."
Tim is quiet for a moment. "You never told us that gives you migraines."
"Never seemed to matter." Another wave of agony throbs behind his eyes, lancing straight through the deepest parts of his skull, and Kon swallows down a whimper. "It, ugh, it happened way more when I was freshly hatched. Now s'not all that... frequent."
"You being in pain always matters to me," Tim says softly. He lets out a breath, quiet even in the silence of the room, and shifts his weight slightly; Kon can hear the rustle of his clothes. "...Can I get you something? Is there anything—you came to my room for a reason, right? What do you need me to do?"
There's an undercurrent of desperation in his voice, barely there, but readily apparent to anyone who knows him even half as well as Kon does. He hates being helpless, hates seeing anyone he loves in pain, hates not being able to fix it. Kon smiles wanly, opening his eyes to look up at him; it doesn't hurt, not too bad, since the room is so dark.
"I'm in your room 'cuz you have the best blackout curtains in the whole Tower," he says honestly; even in this state, he doesn't miss the way Tim's shoulders droop slightly. "But... if you could get me an ice pack—no, two—that would... that'd be pretty rad."
Tim's on his feet before Kon even finishes his request. "Yeah, of course, I have plenty—" and then he's off like a shot to the mini-fridge in the corner, pawing through the freezer in the dark like a raccoon. Kon hides a wince; his ears are too sensitive for even the slight crinkling and cracking of the ice, and nausea churns in his gut.
But then Tim's back, and in his hands are two blessedly cold packs, wrapped in cloth to make them easier to use.
"God, Rob, I could kiss you," Kon tells him, pressing one to the back of his neck. It's instant, if not total, relief, and he lets out a low moan as the agony spearing through his temples starts to ebb out into the chill. After a second, he presses the second one over his eyes. Fuck, that's so much better...
"Do you need anything else?" Tim asks, hesitating. "I can get you some tea, or a blanket—no, you said it's too hot, um—do you want a sleep mask? Or I can—"
Kon reaches up, grabs one of his hands, and hauls him back down to sit on the rug. It takes a mildly herculean amount of effort, but he lifts his head next, scoots over, and places it on Tim's thigh, so that he can tuck his face (and ice pack) into his stomach. "Shut up," he mumbles, "and just... stay."
If it's too cold, or uncomfortable, Tim makes no indication. He just lets out a soft, "Oh," and then, to Kon's delight, threads his fingers tenderly into his hair. "...Is this okay?"
If his touch was a little more direct, if his gentle caresses were any faster, it'd be too much. But as it is, it's helping, and if he stops anytime soon, Kon might cry.
"Better'n okay," he answers, and despite his migraine, he smiles slightly against Tim's shirt.
#necer0s#rimi writes#timkon#you sent this one and i went oh FUCK YEAH#because of how the reason im in agony soup currently is! chronic migraines! for which i am being denied my meds >:( but HEY#PERFECT PROMPT for me to cope with B)#tim#kon
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luvbug724 · 2 months
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sits next to you :) the thing about kevjeanee housekeeping/accounting is that while kevin is not dyslexic like jeanee i fear that he is not good at math either..... i think he's probably Better at it than jean and renee but he's not of much help i don't think........ last year i overpaid my credit card at least four times because im bad at math so i think kevin would be like that. they trust him and he's basically giving their money for free to the bank. jean (grew up poor in my mind) would be furious. but if they put their three thinking heads together they can surely come up with something!
i like chronic migraines for jean i think he's very bruised bird shot from the sky etc no matter what nothing really works for him........ and he can do something dramatic like drop to the floor like an unwound doll and put his head on kevins or renees lap..... and its ok because puppies do these things....!! in a way i think the most fun of kevjeanee is the potential for hovering + doting for jean it presents because its like two of his biggest supporters. (kicks feet) i also think jean and renee are also two people i can see kevin going easier on/excusing for so its cute to me to think about... renee spacing out in practice and kevin being like well she's trying very hard. or jeremy calling in and saying jean beat up another striker and kevins like he's working on it :) you know? you do know user luvbug724 you have to
also re: kevrenee mass together ITS CUTE... i think sometimes the fandom at large um i guess doesnt really think much about renee's relationship to religion but i feel like another one of the foxes (and especially kevin maybe... in my heart) being there with her would make her very happy. i hope when its ash wednesday she approaches him in practice and puts ash on his gay little forehead :) i hope all the old ladies think they're dating or getting married soon and have no idea of the jezabel in california waiting for them (jean)
kevin fucking up their taxes. HILARIOUS. kevin the loves of your life just want their tax returns please. what the fuck do you mean they owe a million dollars can you do the math again please. this is what jeanee get for trusting a history major with their money.
KEVRENEE DOTING ON JEAN YES YES YES. jean i think will be the type of athlete who is constantly at the trainer bc. you know. the mafia may kill him if he can't play exy ugh i hate when that happens but he has to stay in good shape even though he's dealing with So many longterm injuries. when kevin and jean are pro the moment jean leaves a game renee is already in the med room to hear what the doctor has to say and kevin's there as soon as the game is over.
kevin going easier on jean and renee........ I KNOW I SWEAR I DO. its very cute. how can you blame him? renee looks very cute when she's distracted i'm sure.
kevin and renee walking in late to practice with ashes.... mein gott......................................
the idea of ppl seeing kevrenee and not knowing theres a second european man in the picture is so funny. "renee, darling, when are you and your man going to get hitched?" "oh, i'm already married :)" she's the talk of the next church potluck. martha SWEARS she saw her with a different man with a face tattoo last christmas, but agnes says there's no way renee would cheat on her husband with a face tattoo with ANOTHER man with a face tattoo. kevin must have just gotten a haircut or something. they agree to never talk about it again.
#fandom ignoring renee's religion is so very interesting to me i have thoughts but i fear i start enough fights by accident that i will not#share them#asks#kevjeanee#this will be a tag mark my fucking word. if u all got kevseth i can have kevjeanee
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orenjikaraka · 2 years
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Nucifera - ch. 1
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Billy hargrove x reader series
Summary: Billy survives the mind flayer, so he wakes up from a month-long coma later. How would things go down, how would people feel if he’s alive, would they be disappointed… how would (Y/N) feel…
Chapters: ch. 2, ch. 3, ch. 4
a/n: hello everyone, how everyone vibing and chilling, I finished season 4 on strangers things on July 1 and I 🥲, Eddie is so 💞💕, but then billy came back on one episode, I felt like I been hit by a brick wall of hearts 🥺, so I’m making a series of Billy and I hope u like it, in seasons wise from stranger things, it would be talking about a bit of season 2, a lot of 3 and maybe a bit of 4 but not really. Also psst, each gif 👆 symbolize what gonna happen in each chapter, so each chapter has a gif, of basically a hint what your reading, I think it’s cool and funny how peeps text me like bro my heart 😭, I love my angst so I hope u enjoy.
Warnings: gore, slight ptsd, cursing, slurs, vomiting, anxiety, hyperventilating, and Neil.
Word count: 5540
Billy’s POV
Eyes felt heavy to open up, everything feels heavy in general.
“Ugh…”
Tried to open my eyes but got blinded from bright white lights, “nghhh” my eyes got discomfort, and some tears started to prick out, but they never fell, ‘fuck..’ just seeing all the lights in this bright ass room is giving me a migraine, he wanted to close his eyes again, but he have to see where the hell he’s at.
Billy moved his strained eyes around, he looked to his right and saw max.
“Max…” his voice was so low, it was barely a whisper at this point, ‘fuck it even hurts to talk’, he looked down a little and saw her cuddled up around my arm, her head close to my hand and her left hand coincided with my right hand, ‘why… I thought you hated my guts…’ then the sudden realization came to him.
‘Wait… if your here-‘
Billy quickly moved his eyes to the left, and saw no one was there, his panicking loosened, and went back to his normal breathing, ‘fuck I’m glad Neil- fuck…’ his breathing was slightly hard to breathe air, he feels his right lung but, why not his left, what’s this uncomfortable sensation that was on his left, but there’s this other itchy feeling in his abdomen, it feels so light, was his abdomen always this light, Billy’s eyes looked down slowly, and saw lots of tubes.
“Tubes?” His voice felt so dry
His breathing felt uneven, from the amount of small tubes he saw, two was for blood flow, but the machines were filled with blood, it was terrifying to look at, next to those machines, was a huge machine, and that had more tubes then the fucking blood machines, ‘why the hell- th- the hell- is there 8 tubes in my abdomen!’ He didn’t want to panic, ‘but- fuck- Fuck- FUCK’.
He tried to get up the slightest from the panic, to see what was wrong and that was a terrible decision, he saw his stomach, but it wasn’t- it was prosthetic stomach, prosthetic skin around his chest, but it was see-through, he saw a bit of heart, and…
His abdomen… oh fuck… his right side had gaping hole, the size of a cantaloupe, it didn’t went threw him, but just shook the hell out of him
“AAAAAHHHHHHHH”
Max instantly woke up from Billy’s scream, she looked at Billy with worrying eyes, “Billy-“ she tried reassure him but, he smack her hand away out of sheer panic, “WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENIN-“ he felt a strain on his left lung, “hnngg” he tried to breathe as much air as he can, but can’t, “I- *breaths in* I CAN'T- *gasping for air* I- I CANT BREathe-“, Max was slamming her hand on the emergency button for help, but Billy looked like he was about to faint
He tried to breathe more oxygen in his mouth, but his eyes were blurring out, seeing black dots forming his vision, until a couple doctors ran in, but why couldn’t he hear them coming in was his ears muffling in and out, Billy tried to see max’s worried eyes again but… “max-…”
Billy fell into conscientious…
—-
Billy woke up again but he couldn’t see anything
‘Why is everything so dark, I can’t see shit’
“Fuck there’s so much blood…..”
‘Steve?’ ‘Why the hell-‘
“Keep- keep putting pressure his abdomen-“
“(Y/N)! I’m trying my best ok!”
‘(Y/N)??, why is- wait’
It’s like he was hit by the mind flayer all over again, that burning sensation, running through his veins all over again, remembering the mall, helping Eleven and her friends, getting hit by the mind flayer… but (Y/N) was never there, so…
*soft sobbing* “everything- going to be ok, everything going to be ok…” she put her shaking hands on his abdomen.
She sounded like a broken record, repeating and repeating. Billy wanted to say something, anything to reassure her, say sweet nothings and tell her everything will be fine. But he can’t, ‘why can’t i talk damn it!’
Billy could feel her hands pressure on his abdomen, but why only now he’s feeling the agony in his abdomen, it feels like he’s burning from the inside out.
“Nnngh fuck-“ ‘fuck am I crying, what a fucking wimp I am’ ‘wait now I’m speaking?!’
“B please hold your breath…” “Yeah don’t talk dude, your sister will kill me…” Steve shakily laughed
Billy wanted to laughed but all that came out was a cough of blood, Billy moved his head to the left, so he wouldn’t spit his disgusting fluids on to someone’s face, his vision is starting to clear up, he move his head back, ‘so I’m laying on Steve’s lap, where’s (Y/N)…’
Billy tilt his head a little, but felt lightheaded, “(Y/N)…” “Billy please-“ “(Y/N) where-“ the aching from his abdomen is getting worse, “ugggghhhhh… fuck-“ *cough* *cough* *wheeze* “B!” She put more pressure on his abdomen, “UGGHHHHH- STOP-“ *sobbing* “STOP- Stop please- stop….” “sorry- sorry sorry”. She was panicking even more now, and she loosened her pressure a little.
Billy found where she's at, she was on the left side of the car, his right leg around her side and his left leg was laying off her right leg, ‘no prez, I’m the one; that should be sorry, I’m the burden that no one gives a hell about William Hargrove, no wonder no one cares everyone only care of Billy and only Billy! Hell even (Y/N) only calls him B…’
“Prez…”
“B-“
“What- mmgh- What happened between us…”
“B what you-“
“Where… have you been…”
“B… I been… I can’t say”
‘Why can’t you, I thought we were close…’
“Why….” ‘Hell I feel like I’m gonna throw up’
“B please save the talking for later…”
“But….” ‘Fuck I’m seeing dots’
“HEY don’t fall asleep bill!” Steve smack his hand on Billy’s face softly
“Mmmmh… put i feel so tired…” my eyes feel droopy
*sobbing* from Max
‘Max?? How many fucking people are in this car’
“Everything hurts…”
“B please-“
“HEY ASSHOLE WAke—“
BIlly—“
‘I can’t see anything or hear anything- it’s so dark- why can’t I move!’
‘Why can’t I speak…’
‘It so dark…’
————
Billy was waking up but his eyes felt heavy, he was about to groan with discomfort from how hot he felt, but he heard (Y/n).
“How’s everything going Miss doc. Cheaco?”
‘(Y/n)?…’
“Sigh… want the good news or the bad news?”
“I hate when doctors say these” Max said
Cheaco looked displeased at Max but looked back at (Y/n) with a sad look. “What’s the good news” “the good news is he can go home in a couple hours, but he needs all the help he needs to get his breathing better…” “Was that last part the bad news?” “No, the bad news is that he has a prosthetic left lung; that’s why he needs to be better looked at, he has a prosthetic stomach; so eating might be difficult and maybe some knowing when to eat, he used to have prosthetic clear skin but we Stitch his skin with new skin from a donation; don't worry it won’t look like a pigmentation, he lost some weight because of his coma… also… he can’t smoke cigarettes anymore, because he almost had heart disease or lung cancer…” the doc was trailing off but she continued, “finally” she sighed through her nose, “he had a insanely abnormal hole in his right side, located at his abdomen, we mostly put are donated organs there, because there was so much missing… care to explain what happened there?” “Um… I heard he was driving at abnormal speeds and…” “he crashed” “yes” *pff* “idiot” ‘bitch’, “excuse me, no one wanted to hear such horrible wording doc”
“Pfft, ow…”
Everyone looked at Billy
“What?” His voice was strained
“Billy!” Max instantly hugged Billy’s arm, she instantly changed her mood, “Billy you scared the hell out of me!” She gave little small punches to his arm but it did no harm, “Billy!” (Y/n) hugged him gently, her head was on his left shoulder. And her arms were around his waist comfortably.
Billy thought ‘what’s happening…’ he looked to his left and saw (Y/n), also the doc but she simply walked out and closed the door, he look back at (Y/n), she’s much older then the last time they saw each other, ‘last time I saw you was in middle school, you were prez… and you were always there for me until… you moved, and I was alone again… with a abusive, homophobic, sexist, fuck up of a father…’ Billy then looked at Max, Max gave a small smile and wave, but with little strength he had, he tugged her sweater a little, “I’m sorry Maxine” his voice was so low and lips shaken, “I’m sorry… Maxine I’m sorry for being a horrible brother-“ he got cut off by a hug from Max; “shut up” she sobbing, “I know what you've been doing pissed me off, but- hic- you were just protecting me from your father- hic-…” Billy started tearing up, “Max-“ “stupid- stupid- hic- I already knew…” he moved his arms slowly so he could hug back.
Everything felt calm and silent from all the warmth… and the comfort… but-
“Mr. Hargrove you need to calm down-“
“CALM DOWN; SHUT THE HELL UP; BITCH”
Max started up, so did (Y/n), but Billy; he was straight up terrified, but his expression was pissed off. “Shot!” Max Said “I’ll try-“
“(Y/n), Don’t” Billy said sternly but his voice sounded so horsed. He tried to stand up but (Y/n) softly pushed him back down, “Billy! Your hurt badly, he’ll-“ billy slowly got up again, but hell, breathing was difficult, everytime he breathe, he had this tightness in his left lung, making the right lung take to much air which hurts, he slouches, and gasped for some air, but then he slowed his breathing, and made small breaths and that helped, “(Y/n)-“
“Mr. Hargrove-“ the poor nurse didn’t even finished her sentence
“FUCK OFF, OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!!”
When Neil got up to the door he banged it
“Mr-“
“Neil! Please let’s think this through-“
SLAP
“SHUT YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH!”
Max heard her mother whimpering, she stood up, but Billy grabbed her wrist, *gasp… cough* “Max, listen-“ “my mother is out there!” “Neil will knock you the hell out!” Max stopped “but-“ “No- hhnng- get behind me now!” Max looked back at the door.
BANG
She quickly ran back and sat behind him
“FINE, ILL OPENED THIS DOOR THEN!!!”
HARD BANG
“Billy-“
“(Y/n), listen to me please”
HARD BANG
“But-“
“ITS- hnnnggg it’s for your safety!”
“B!”
DOOR BREAKS
Neil walks in and sees everyone. But instantly looked at Billy
“You look like shit-“
“SHUT. YOUR. MOUTH!” (Y/n) said.
Billy’s expression changed In amount of seconds. Too worried.
“(Y/n)-“
Neil walked up to (Y/n) and-
“Who do you think you are!”
PUNCH
Neil socked her in the cheek. (Y/n) lost her balance and cried her eyes out and scream, she was shaking, pleading for help, so Billy did, right when Neil was about punch her again, Billy stood up, his lungs was burning, but he didn’t care he wanted to protect (Y/n), and his sister Max. He hold his father’s arm up, so he wouldn’t punch (Y/n), but his hold was wobbly and shaky, “wow, you became a real faggot, boy.” Neil saw he still had his nasal cannula still in Billy’s nostrils, Neil roughly pulled it out, “mmggh!” It made Billy panic, so he tried to push his father back, but Neil barely moved, “see; just as weak as your pathetic mother.”
“SHUT YOUR FUCKIN MOU-“ *cough* Billy felt blood coming out his mouth but he didn’t give two shits what happened to his body, he just wanted to protect the girls.
Max slowly tap the emergency button, but Neil heard it, “YOU LITTLE BITCH-“ ‘nows my chance’
Billy spit blood in Neil’s eye, when Neil looked at Max.
“AAAAAARGGGHHH”
Billy socked the hell out of his father. Neil got knocked out in consciousness pretty quickly, it felt so fast, Billy’s hand felt numb, that took a lot out of Billy, he laid his elbow on the wall and put all his weight on it, he’s wheezing and gasping for air. “You… ladies… ok-“ *about to puke* “B! Here I got you-! (Y/n) stood up with her wobbly legs, but as soon as she got close to him, Billy pukes… out of blood…
Billy starts freaking out, tearing up, shaking lips, “wha-“ “WILLIAM!”
From too much shock he collapsed in (Y/n)‘s arms, doctors and police finally rushed in, they see lots of blood and the girls were sobbing, the doctors got ready for Billy again, and the police restrained Neil.
———-
At this point waking up felt like a chore, Billy blank a couple of times, to readjust his eyes, it was so silent in his room, all you can hear is birds chirping. He look around, as annoying as it is, he just wanted to leave this damn hospital, the dryness in his throat explains how long he been sleeping, the pain in his lung is long gone, so that’s good, it’s a good sign for him to go home, well your home, Billy just want to go to a home, anywhere but here, just what happened with Neil, and how… fuck… poor (Y/n) and max, fuck even Susan got hurt, no wonder everyone in his school gave him disgust and loathing look, all he was a plague, hurting everyone he see’s and touches…
Billy tried to move up normally, but how can he forget, a tightness happen in his right lung, from to much air, so he’s having a struggle to breathe out normally, it’s ether a fast small gasp of air then try to breathe the rest out, or just breathing out but has a pinch midway, goes the same with breathing in, at this point he’s wondering how he’s even alive, now looking at himself again, he’s surprised he wearing just a plain white shirt with some sweatpants, ‘well when Neil was here either, I guess I was supposed to go either but now, it’s noon, he feels a little skinnier then he used to, his muscles are gone, ‘all that work gone huh’ “damn”, ‘fucking muscles, fucking weight, fuck everything…’ a frustrated groan came out of billy, he looked to his right and saw max and (y/n) passed out on the other bed, Billy looked up where (Y/n)’s cheek, luckily it wasn’t Purple, it was just a light pinkness on her cheek, he sighed with relief, but so much has happened, can anything else be worse than this.
Door creak
He looked up with disappointment, because he hope he didn’t just jinx it, a nurse came out of the door, he had some papers in his clipboard, and a pen on his other hand, “hi Hargrove”, Billy just gave him a nod for just acknowledgment, the nurse nodded back and continued, “so I just wanted to tell you that… sigh… your going to be Maxine’s future parental guardian.”
“What?!?!”
“I knew you were going to say that…”
Billy looked back at max, then back at the nurse, with shock
“I just told you the news, at the start we were going to check if she had any other family members, but her grandmother and uncle had lost contact. Your father; Neil hargrove, is in prison, so he won’t hurt anyone anymore, he has life in prison, and Maxine’s mother… Susan hargrove is in a comatose state, but when she wakes up…”
“What happens when she wakes up, why couldn’t Susan take her own daughter with her-“
“Because when Susan wakes up she’s brain dead.”
“How-“
“When you were knocked out and the doctors and police rush in your room, Neil woke up pretty quick, he got up and rush out, trying to leave the scene, Susan was a the end of the hall, because what happened either, when she saw him rushing out in a panic, she was hesitant to walk up to and reassure him, so when he got close to her they had an argument, and that argument went to Susan slapped him, but then-“
“She got beaten.”
“Yes…”
Billy lowered his head
“She comatose and brain dead, so there’s no one else to take her as her guardian, except you; your eighteen now, so your legally can adopt or do legal adult components and shush, I know this is a lot to take in, but you can always say no and she would go to a foster famil-“
“No, no, I’ll be her guardian, let me sign it”
The nurse handed him the clipboard, “I’ll be down the hall if you need any help.”
Billy sighed when the nurse walked out. It was like walking on glass, thoughts by thoughts were hitting him like 100 miles per hour, ‘adulthood, Maxine, being alone, why’s (Y/n) back, moving in, fuck Hawkins.’ His hands were buried in his dirty blonde locks, *sigh* “ok, ok, I can do this, bill- um- William hargrove, got this…” he whispered to himself, he stared at the clipboard a little more than he thought, just seeing ‘Maxine’ and ‘will you sign this contract to be her guardian’ makes his heart throb, “why is this so hard!” He whispered angery, he look to his right and saw Max curled up next to (Y/n), they were both sleeping soundly, *sigh…* He looked back at the clipboard.
He took a deep breath and breathed out.
Then he signed it.
Then he called the nurse and handed the clipboard to him.
The nurse left again and told him he can leave when he's ready.
When there was silence in the room again…
‘What am I gonna do mom, what am I even gonna do after all this…’
——- time skip ——-
When the hospital was done with other paperwork of Billy, he was free to walk out, but oh boy it was a sucker to even get up because of stupid fucking breathing, after he got proper clothes on, which was just better sweatpants, then the stupid hospital one’s, and a black jacket on; but when he tried to get up, it was like it he was being stab with like with 20 needles, he would gasp and hold his breath because it hurts like hell, Max was waiting by the door, and (Y/n) was trying to help Billy, but oh boy he was stubborn as hell.
“Let me help”
“No, I’m fine”
“B, come on, let me-“
“No, I got it-“
“Ok”
“Your being a real Smartass prez”
“No but your being a real dumbass”
Billy opens his mouth but then close it, because he knows damn well, (Y/n) can just see through all his sentences. He huffed then tried to get up again, but immediately had a coughing fit in an amount of seconds. He sits down again frustrated. But then (Y/n) put her hands out for a helping hand, and Billy just sighs and finally grabs her hands with his own.
“Whenever you're ready.”
Billy just gives a small nod. And was hesitant at first but then suddenly got up, when he got up fully, he leaned on (Y/n).
“B you did it! B?”
Billy’s body was pressed against (Y/n), he was breathing heavily, but stopped midway sometimes. His body was shaking a little. “B?” She tries to look at him, “stop-“ *cough* “sorry…” (Y/n) said, she let him pressed against her for a few more seconds, ‘he’s much lighter than before’ she thought when she was holding him a little, so he won’t lose his fall, “you feel lighter than before…” “yeah, no shit prez…” *breathes out* “I used to weigh 169 pounds, now I weigh- mgh- 135 pounds…” ‘poor billy…’ “I hate being underweight…” “well you know I’m here to help you out, u know…” Billy just nodded. When he got his breathing controlled, he leaned up slowly and breathed out, “ok prez, lead the way~” “har har BB” she slowly let him go, but Billy put a hand on her shoulder for support, she didn’t question it, because she saw how a little panic on him, so she started walking and so did Billy but Billy started breathing pretty heavily pretty quickly, so she slowed her pace, and that seem to help.
They got to the elevator and max hit the button and the door closed and Max looked back at her step brother, “you look like shit”, Billy leaning his back on the elevator, trying to fix his dumb breathing problem, “shut- ngh- your mouth…” as he breathes out, “guys come on, we’re almost out of this hospital, just think about going home k” the door opens “doesn’t explain why my mother is comatose though.” And she walked out, (Y/n) was about to speak up but, “come on, let’s just go…” Billy said, “ok...”
(Y/n) offered a hand, but Billy declined and mouthed ‘I think I got the hang of it’ and (Y/n) looked at him like ‘uh uh’ she walked slowly out and Billy got off the wall and slowly followed, Max already walked out to the car, and (Y/n) was waiting on Billy to finish the stupid sign out papers from the front desk. He finished and they both walked out.
When Billy got out he blinked his eyes a little to fix the strain from his irises, when his eyes fixated, and started following (Y/n), he noticed how short you still are, yeah, you got taller from middle school, but still it’s been years since you guys last saw each other, and he’s still a small bit taller then, like maybe 3 or 4 inches taller, but still. When you both got to your car, it was an ocean blue 1973 Pontiac Astre, isn’t a bad car, but it isn't as badass as my Camaro.
“Nice- hng- car”
“Thanks, also if it’s hard for you to talk you don’t have to talk so much.”
“No, it's fine. It’s just that my right lung gets too much air sometimes so it hurts to breathe correctly.”
“Ok, just be careful ya know” she said with a kind smile.
Billy felt a slight throb in his heart, it was like a tingling feeling, he had this distinct thought, but he brushed it off; he nodded slightly and slowly walked around to the passenger seat.
—— time skip (dusk) ——
The ride to (Y/n)’s house was long and silent, seeing all the forest trees pass by was so smoothing; it just makes your eyes feel droopy.
“Billy?” Max said. Well there's goes that relaxation out the window. “What’s up?” “Sorry about either, about my mother…”, “no, I’m sorry-“ “Billy, don’t even sweat it, you're fine, it’s your jackass of a father anyway, so you're vibing!” “Have you always been this chill?” “…”, “what?! You know what, just forget about it, but I am sorry, what happened to your- hnnng- to your mother… I’m sorry for Susan…” Max was silent for a bit, “wait-! Where would I go after all this, would I go to foster parents-“, “you’ll be living with me.”
“Wait, Max would be living with you?” (Y/n) said
“Yes, I signed the adoption papers, and if my father gonna be a fuck head about it, he’ll won’t win, I’ll promise you that.”
Max gives a small smile as for acknowledgment
“B, how are you feeling by the way?” (Y/n) said.
“Like shit”
*sigh*
“Pff- ow- i need a smoke…” Billy tried to grab a box of cigarettes from his pocket, but Instantly regretted that there was none in his pocket, “(Y/n), do you-“ “no” “I didn’t even finish- nnggh- finish my sentence!” Max started to snicker a little, “no, because your doctor said not to smoke!” “FUCK MY- *coughing* fuck my doctor, I can do whatever I want with my body.” “So you want cancer.” “…” “that’s what I thought.” “Then what the hell am I supposed to do, when im anxious or dealing with fucking trauma!” “B, how about try something similar to cigarettes but they’re not smoke related or for fuck sakes not weed.” “What like a fucking lollipop, buttercup~”
(Y/n) looked at Billy with disappointment in her eyes and said “yes.”
Max at this point was cracking up in the back seat, “you can’t be serious (Y/n).” “You know at this point, it would be a yes, I was was half assing it but now, yes Billy a lollipop would help.”, she looked at Billy with the utmost confidence smug on her face, Billy looked unpleased by (Y/n)’s smuggest stupid grin, “wait actually I think I can help you with your problem!” She reached over the glove compartment and got a red cherry lollipop, “wait. How fucking long has that been in there.” (Y/n) look at Billy with the ‘really’ face. “It’s candy, it can't expire.” “Shut up.” Billy snatched the lollipop and aggressively pulled the rapping off and put the sucker in.
It was sweet, like any other lollipop. Of course they would be sweet, but apparently it is calming him down, it has to be the stick, it reminds him kinda of a cigarette, but without the smoke or the sweetness, “how’s the pop?” “It helps apparently…” “good! Well great! I’m glad to hear.”
It was quiet in the car again, all you can hear cars passing by or cars stopping and going, it was quite smoothing, even when Billy was zoning out and hearing the girls talk in the background, it helped mellowed his mind from everything, ‘being abused, being possessed, the mind flayer, going to a dumb hospital, having a fight at the hospital, news of Max’s mother being fucking brain dead, adoption papers, fucking chest and body pains.’ Billy just slouches even more in his car seat. Just thinking about it makes him feel nauseous, so much has happened in an amount of hours. ‘Fuck Hawkins, fuck Hawkins, FUCK HAWKINS.’ He gave a heavy sigh, and looked to his right, and saw a sign saying leaving Hawkins, then another sign after that saying welcome to Southern California.
“HEY- ow- where are we going!”
“Shoot… I forgot to tell you. Everyone is moving away from Hawkins because of the incidents that were happening...”
“Wait then what about all my stuff back in Hawkins, and most importantly what about my Camaro!”
“We got most of the important stuff in your room, also some of your other stuff in your room was trashed, oh and your Camaro it’s fine, it’s at the house already.”
Billy just opened his mouth and was about to say something, but then closed it, and just nodded, the rest of the ride was smoothing again, but that didn’t bother anyone.
—— time skip (night) ——
When the car finally parked, that smoothing calmness just disappeared, this anxious feeling consumed Billy. He actually wanted the car ride to be longer, but I guess time just being a dick all over again. Max got out of the car, then (Y/n) also stepped out of the car, Billy just felt stiff, like he was on death’s bed if he step out of this darn car, just chewing on the darn stick of the sucker didn’t even help, ‘I need another-‘ Billy heard light tapping on the window, and looked to his right, and (Y/n) was standing there with a concern gentle face, she mouthed “are you ok”, Billy just nodded no, so she open the door, “what’s wrong?” “What would your parents think of me?” “Billy, are you seriously asking the question, you're fine.” “But what if-“ “dude, chill out your fine.” Billy just stared at her, while chewing his pop stick harder then you suppose to normally do it, (Y/n) saw how anxious he looked and gave him a smoothing rub at his back, “I promise, my parents are nothing like your father, your safe B, no one’s gonna hurt you, I promise.” “Ok… also do you have another pop?” “Oh, yeah! I do, here. It was in my bag, I forgot I had one in there.”
This lollipop was orange this time, he grabbed it and peeled the wrapping off, and put it in his mouth, he instantly relaxed again, it made (Y/n) giggled, “hmm?” “Oh, sorry I just think it’s cute how you relax so easily to those.” Billy felt this throbbing feeling again, ‘cute???’ He felt his face slightly more hot for some random reason, “I’m not cute, I’m badass, get it right.” “Uh huh, sure you are.” She walked off after that, and Billy slowly got out of the car, closed the door and followed her inside.
The house seems cozy, and a lot warmer than outside, he looked back from the door and saw the the night sky it was quiet outside, all you can hear are the Crickets, he closed the door so the cold air won’t come in, he look back at everyone and felt small, but it instantly vanished, “Billy sweetheart your ok!” (Y/n)’s mother walked up to him and Hugged him. He missed this feeling, being held by a loving mother, well being hugged too, Billy hugged back, “Billy honey, you're so skinny, come I just made dinner.” She let go and grabbed his hand and pulled him to the kitchen, (Y/n) snickered a little, by seeing Billy’s face, Billy felt hungry but didn’t at the same time, because of his stomach.
Everyone sat down on the table, max sat next to (Y/n)’s mother and (Y/n) sat next next to Billy, and Billy sat next to (Y/n)’s mother, (Y/n)’s father was at the end of the table and also (Y/n)’s mother sat at the other end of the table.
Billy looked at his food, it has a large steak, with mashed potatoes with gravy, with a side of white rice with garlic salt with lemon on it, it looked delicious, but his stomach didn’t feel hungry, but he feels pain in his stomach region, so he eats the rice first and damn it exquisite, it’s soft texture felt just right his mouth, so he took a little more seconds before swallowing, everything around Billy felt calming again, (Y/n) was talking to her mother and Max was talking to (Y/n)’s father, why this calmness felt so weird to him, feeling this niceness just felt off to him, maybe his life was getting better, “Billy?”, “hmm?!” Billy looked at (Y/n)’s father, “Billy, I have trust in you to share a room with my daughter?” “Share a room?” “Well you can’t sleep on the couch because all your belongings are in the living room, boxes and boxes full of your stuff.” Billy look to his right and saw 20 to probably 25 boxes full with his stuff, Billy looked back, and nodded, “I won’t harm her; Mr. (Y/L/N), you have my word.”
“Hmm, someone became a gentleman over the past couple of years.”
Billy had a small chuckle, and everyone continued eating.
—— time skip ——
When everyone finished eating; everyone went to there rooms, except for (Y/n) she was in the shower, Billy was in her room, her bed was quite soft for a queen size bed, he was already in his pajamas, well shorts and a white tank top, it was kinda slippy because these were his clothes, *sigh* ‘fucking comatose’.
“Hey”
“Sup, where am I going to sleep?”
“My bed.”
“Your bed~”
“Not like that.”
“Ok, prez~”
“Billy-“
“Ok, ok, ok”
Billy started to slowly move to the end of the bed, and laid down, and tried to focus his breathing, it was easier to breathe; when laying down.
(Y/n) finished up everything and laid at the end of the bed, Billy looked at her confused.
“Why-“
“What, you think I’m gonna just lay on the hard floor and you get to sleep in my soft luxury bed all by yourself; no”
Billy just felt dumbfounded by what you said but just brushed it off and just closed his eyes, but…
“Billy?”
“Hmm”
“Sorry i left in middle school”
“…”
“I moved because of money, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when the abuse was happening…”
*breathes out* “you're fine, sweetheart, don’t worry about-“
She sits up, “no I’m serious I’m sorry; I’m sorry I left you, and that I wasn’t there for you, that I didn’t even give you a call to check up on you, to check if you're ok…”
“…”
Billy moved his arm a little, giving her signals that he needs that comfort, so she did, she laid down next to him, and hugged him gently; “I promise, I’ll help you anyway I can…”
“Ok… prez…”
#billy hargrove#billy hargrove x reader#Billy hargrove fanfiction#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things Billy fanfiction#stranger things billy#stranger things Billy hargrove#stranger things hargrove#Billy hargrove x reader angst#billy hargrove angst#stranger things Billy angst#reader fanfiction#stranger things au#stranger things au fanfiction#stranger things Steve#stranger things Steve Harrington#steve harrington#max mayfield#stranger things max#stranger things Maxine#maxine mayfield
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saunne · 5 months
Text
Perfumes
Mom found back in her pocket one of those little papers to test the perfumes that she had made me smell last week. The perfume in question already smelled amazing last week and it still smells amazing now and holy shit I have a physical need to own this perfume. I'm normally quite loyal to a "small" French brand that makes fairly simple perfumes (things that are too complex or too strong tend to give me migraines + they make small bottles for 10 euros, which allows me to change fragrances regularly without breaking the bank) but there. THERE.
"Un bois vanille" by Serge Lutens. Mexican black vanilla, sandalwood and licorice. The fucking best thing I ever smelled.
This perfume just ticks all the boxes in terms of satisfying smell in my brain and I have never wanted to smell a perfume on myself so badly. Cause, like, I like perfumes. I LOVE perfumes. I have a sensitive nose so smelling good/having things that smell good easily accessible helps a lot in everyday life. I usually wear perfume more for my own comfort than for that of the people around but damn this smell is just right.
Just. It smells fucking sexy, okay ? My ace ass doesn't even have the need to feel sexy, but this smell is just. Ugh. This is the kind of scent I would want to have to make people around swoon if the world was a fucking Omegaverse. We've reached that point of toddler-brain screaming "WANT WANT WANT".
But fuck it, next sales or if I see it in a second-hand resell, I'll buy it. It's very, very far out of my usual price range but for now, when it comes to expensive perfumes, I'm like my mother: if we find one that we like and we stick, stick, stick to it. Mom wore the same perfume for 20 years until production was discontinued.
Fortunately, I was able to secure two full replacement days in the coming weeks and with my birthday and Christmas coming up, I should be able to put a nice nest egg aside to pay for at least 50 ml.
Anyways, if you have time to loose, I had fun listing all my perfumes under the cut with what they smell / what I think of it.
Montblanc Legend : My very first perfume after starting my transition, it's what helped me the most to feel good about myself when I had really bad dysphoria. It's a very, very rich fragrance, with a fougere/lavender/citrus top note, a floral rose/jasmine heart and an end note of oakmoss. Now that my nose has become even more sensitive, I have difficulty wearing it, but I still like it.
After that, all hail Adopt Perfumes lmao
At The End Of The World : Lavender, tonka bean, coconut wood and incense. Very "warm" and a little sweet, it is quite heady and a more “autumn” scent.
Blue Suit : Grapefruit, Apple, Violet Leaf, Vetiver. Very sharp and fresh, my mother hates it (she can't stand violet leaf) so I tend to avoid it around her. More of a spring scent.
I bought these two at the same time, for my first birthday after starting testosterone if I remember correctly. The first was my daily perfume for a very long time while I rather used the second, more lively and fresh, for more specific moments, like job interviews.
Hypnotique Incense : Pepper, Frankincense, Cistus Labdanum. Worn quite rarely, mostly when I'm in a witchy mood. Best smell to have around when I do my oracle readings. Very, very heady unfortunately, tends to cause me headaches and even a nosebleed once.
Vanilla Bourbon : Vanilla, Almond and Iris. One of my favorites from last year and what I wore almost all summer. Very very sweet, I smell like candy. Got a lot of compliments on that one.
Ravaging Vanilla : Amber vanilla, cognac and oak wood. I smell like a prohibition style bar with this one lmao. Much more intense and marked than my other vanilla perfume, I wear it on my most "masc" days. Smelling kinda like alcohol draws funky looks though.
Marrakech Royal : Cinnamon, orange blossom, tobacco and amber. My most recent purchase, because I wanted to smell spices because 🍁fall🍂. Very soft and sweet, I smell exactly like the gazelle ankles my roommate baked which is hilarious.
Since my birthday is coming up and I have a 1 bought, 1 offered, I'll probably end up with those two in addition.
Dubaï Palace : Saffron, black cherry, oud wood, vanilla. The one I was hesitant with when I bought Marrakech Royal. Also spicy, but more pronounced and I liked the saffron/oud wood combination.
Eternal Osmanthus : .... ZHONGLI HERE I COME LMAO. Osmanthus and cedar wood ? Empty brain no thoughts, sign me in babe.
#personal#perfume#I'll work more shifts and buy it because dear gods I WANT IT#I want to smell good#fuck clothes perfumes are my thing#unneism#unne's life stuff
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ohmyamor · 1 year
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sorry I don’t send asks too often i’ve been really busy with my performing arts work and school musical (which is actually high school musical????) so i wanted to ask how you are? what have you been up to? how’s writing going? TELL ME ANYTHING I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU
- 🧸
NO WORRIES BESTIE!!!
also STOP performing arts is literally AMAZING I have so much respect for everyone in that field bc I could literally never ahahah
I’m doing pretty good, thank you for asking!!
the past month has been a roller coaster bruh I got accepted into some pretty amazing schools to transfer to for uni and I finally committed to one of them (along with a $250 deposit that hurt my wallet but :/)
and then I’ve mainly just been working and going to school but I have finals coming up rip
ohhhh and then last week I saw yoongi 🤭 ik im technically like an ateez account lol but yoongi was literally my first love when I got into kpop back in like 2017/2018 and he’s been my ult bias since day 1 and ugh the concert was fucking amazing like the best way I can describe it was just so cathartic yaknow
and then I immediately went back to work all weekend working long shifts bc of Mother’s Day so I got fucking sick and I was knocked off my feet with migraines and a fever and it’s just bleh
not Covid thank god but I hate being sick in general but I’m better now and I’m seeing some of my friends this weekend and next week I’m seeing txt!!!
I’m so excited getting those tix had me fighting for my LIFE I’m like the designated ticket buyer in my friend group but lemme tell you it never gets any less stressful
and so once that’s over then I have finals and school is done and then at the end of summer I’m moving out for school :’)
life is just crazy 🧸 anon like absolutely insane and I feel so bad for not being active on here as much but my life is literally revolving around work an school rn and I feel like I’m constantly running around like a headless chicken 🥲
but it’s okay bc great things are coming!! and I refuses to be knocked over!!!
Ty for checking in bestie I would LOVE to hear more about your school and your musical!!! And I hope you’re doing great :)) <3
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the-writing-mobster · 2 years
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| Baby Face Boys & Babes HCs! | Road Trip 🛣️🚦|
*Set in the 90s of course.
If you have any Head Canon requests like this, go ahead and drop them in my inbox. These are so fun to write out, so I'd love some ideas hehe. Also, let me know if you want head canons for specific characters ;)
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Sans: The Driver™
He's the one with the nicest car, so of course he'd be the one driving it. He refuses to switch unless it's with Alphys or Nick, those are the only two he trusts at the wheel besides himself.
He's a good driver... However he is a little too self confident about his own skill at the wheel. Sometimes he steers with his knee if his hands are preoccupied.
If someone is driving too slow in front of him he becomes very verbally annoyed. Makes a lot of jokes about bad drivers.
“Oh my God, what!? Why are you going 50 in a 75!? What, are you too busy masturbating!? Couldn't wait until you were home!?” — He only does this because it makes people laugh. If he were alone he would be completely silent, vibing to music.
If the road is empty, or if there's a slow poke in front of him... Or a speed trap, he'll just randomly teleport the car? It never ends badly but no warning!
You trust that he's not going to crash... But you still grip onto that grab handle... Just to be safe...
Nick: Dual Class Passenger DJ & Navigator
Has the best taste in music. Whips out the mixtapes and CDs faster than Clint Eastwood can whip out his gun. Always playing the best jams, and knows exactly what song will fit the mood and time of day or weather. He takes song requests into account, and has a wide variety of genres to listen from. The king of CD collecting.
Hates whatever is on the radio.
Also, none of his CDs are scratched he keeps them in pristine condition.
Occasionally he'll force everyone to listen to the news on the radio, and when it's just him and Sans awake, they'll turn off everything and talk endlessly about politics.
“Ugh, why do we have to listen to this?” “SHUT UP THIS IS IMPORTANT! WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW!”
As Front Seat Passenger, Nick is tasked with reading the map. Will occasionally get confused about the map symbols. Has gotten them lost before, and it was probably because the map was upside down. Sans and him bicker about directions constantly like an old married couple.
Can't ever fall asleep. Will start talking about really deep shit.
Every hour or so on the road, he opens the window to start smoking a joint. This is why they can't EVER get pulled over 😬
Alphys: Window Watcher™
While Nick is blasting tunes on the radio, she's blasting her own, international music into her headphones to drown the boys out. Not because she doesn't like interacting with them, but because they're so fucking loud.
Frequently gets motion sickness and migraines. ESPECIALLY if Sans fucking teleports. “STOP! Sans I WILL throw up RIGHT FUCKING NOW!”
Stares out the window the entire time with her music like she's in a music video. Very much lost in her own thoughts. ESPECIALLY if it's raining.
Points out horses and cows without fail every time.
When everyone is asleep, she'll take her headphones off and start chatting with Sans and Nick.
Always begs to stop at Starbucks to get her coffee fix. She needs to have her venti iced latte with double shots of espresso NOW!
Jonas: Road Gamer Extraordinaire & Snack Enthusiast
Relentless Slug Bugger, and License Plate Puncher. Stop the violence Jonas. Leave the boxing at the gym.
“SLUG BUG!” *punches the shit out of Midas's shoulder.* *Midas punches him back* “NO TAG BACKS! You can't punch me back until you see a slug bug." "I did see one, righ—” “That's the one I saw! I saw it first!” He is the reason Alphys has migraines.
Constantly snacking. Even sober he has extreme munchies. Gets territorial over the snacks... He didn't even bring them.
If you're eating a snack, Jonas literally begs like a dog. He does the dog face, with the puppy eyes, will rest his snout on your shoulder. As soon as you give him the food, he's done with you though haha.
Sans does the dad hand to get snacks, and Jonas reluctantly gives him some, but it's always the smallest piece imaginable.
Constantly goofing around
Falls into the stereotype of sticking his head out the window every single time Nick rolls his window down to smoke. It's the perfect opportunity for Jonas to roll HIS window down without getting yelled at about the air pressure.
The first to fall asleep. He's so peaceful and cute when he's sleeping 🥺... We all wish he stayed like that 😐
Midas: Gas Station Crawler
“Can we stop somewhere? I'm thirsty.”
Constantly asking to stop at every seven eleven he sees. Always has to use the bathroom at the most inopportune moments.
Is always checking out sunglasses at the gas station, but none of them are dark enough to hide his eyes so he can never actually get any of them.
Beverage fiend. Where Jonas eats all the snacks, Midas drinks all the drinks. Always gets Arizona tea, Monster Energy drink and Fanta Orange, always those three together, never just one. No wonder he has to pee all the time. 🤦🏼‍♀️
“Midas, maybe you should lay off the drinks, we really can't stop for bathroom breaks anymore.” “But I'm THIRSTY!” “THEN GET WATER YOU DEHYDRATED FUCK!” -actual conversation between Sans and Midas.
Never has his seat belt on. Reckless endangerment. Midas we can not get pulled over. Nick literally has weed, we'll go to jail PUT YOUR SEATBELT ON!
Always has to take the middle seat, but it's okay, he has prime position to pester EVERYONE.
Ironically asks “are we there yet?? Are we there yet?” every hour or so. It's gotten to a point where not even Midas knows if it's ironic anymore.
Maeve: Sleeping Beauty
Always in the very back, has the whole second row back seat to herself. Just sprawls.
Brings ear plugs to block out Jonas and Midas.
Usually just reads books and magazines when and if she is awake... And... Usually she falls asleep. She literally can not keep her eyes open.
Something about the lull of the road, the soft murmur of voices just past her ear plugs, puts her right to bed.
Is always the one who falls asleep an hour into the trip and wakes up super disoriented like "What? Where are we? How did we get here?"
Really enjoys driving in the rain. There's just something really calming about the rain drops on the roof of the car. Everyone is really quiet when it's raining, and the only thing playing is Nick's somber music to match the mood. That is when she'll take out the ear plugs to enjoy the peace it brings.
Can get comfortable in any condition, sitting, or laying down. While wearing a seatbelt. With the other seat belts digging into her sides. It doesn't matter. She's out like a light.
Any time they stop and Maeve stumbles out of the car, she gets hit with the "Ooo, look who decided to join us. How was the nap sleepyhead?”
Bonus:
Papyrus: Younger Brother forced to come with™
This was not how he wanted to spend his weekend >:(
Mom made him tag along and he and Sans are bitter about it. Still, Sans is trying to include him so he's been given Alphys's usual window seat.
Desperately trying to get his homework done while Jonas and Midas are being obnoxious.
“I'm TRYING to work! Please stop!”
Despite this... He low-key enjoys being included in the slug bug challenges and license plate calls. Like... Actually really enjoys them...
Gets really competitive about it too. Ends up winning of course ;)
Constantly complaining about the music being too loud, but really enjoys when Nick turns on the news. He just finds it super interesting okay!?
Bonus 2!
Frisk: EVERYONE BEHAVE YOURSELF WE HAVE A LADY IN OUR MIDST!
Sans lets her sit in the front seat, Nick is quietly bitter about it, but understands it's just because Sans wants her to feel special and also because... He doesn't want her to have to deal with Midas and Jonas's antics.
“Why can't she sit in the back?” “Because Jonas and Midas are HOUND DOGS!” “I wouldn't mind—” “—You're sitting in the front—” “okay.” “Damn, Sans doesn't trust us.” “such baseless accusations 😔.”
Everyone is on their best behavior. Jonas isn't punching anyone, Midas is drinking less drinks than usual, Nick isn't smoking, Sans isn't randomly teleporting... Maeve and Alphys are still off in their own worlds though lmao.
And Frisk loves being in the front seat. It certainly does make her feel special. Despite the front seat privilege, she's always leaning over the console to talk to everyone in the backseat.
Is actually good at reading maps. They get to where they're going a lot faster. Sans just smugly looking back at Nick in Alphys's usual window seat like "hah... See that, Nick? Looks like it's not that hard after all”
Much like Alphys, she's always pointing out things on the road, however it's moreso about birds. "Oh look, a hawk! You know the difference between a hawk and a vulture?” *goes off on a tangent about the differences between types of birds. Sans finds this really endearing.*
Always singing along to whatever song is on the radio. She's a decent singer, not the best, but she makes it fun. Everyone sings with her. It's super fun.
“Wow, she kind of makes these road trips a lot more pleasant, we should have her with us more often...”
.
.
.
Here's a little diddy I thought fit the mood :)
#underfell#wdyw#baby face#fanfic#underfell sans#underfell frisk#head canons#is this... an imagine?#send more head canon requests#I like doing these they're fun!#frisk & sans#highschool au#bf! boys#bf! babes#road trip head canons#baby face memes#wdyw memes#Spotify
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eirenical · 1 year
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Well. Predictably, the Advil did pretty much fuck all for my migraine. And I'm so stressed and in pain from the migraine that the Advil isn't even handling my cramps the way it usually does.
So. Today is going to suck just as much as predicted.
And on top of that, all the "YOU SUCK AND EVERYONE HATES YOU" hormones that were blessedly silent all last week have hit with a VENGEANCE this morning, so that's fun, too.
*sigh* I know it's just hormones. I know it's just hormones. I know it's just hormones.
...but knowing that never seems to help.
Ugh.
ETA: I don't need cheering up or cute pictures. I'm just... having a day and probably need to not talk to people. OTZ
#pms sucks#migraines suck#eirenical babble#whine whine whine#the state of me#really fucking sucks right now#*sigh*
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imeverywoman420 · 2 years
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I hate weed. Its been like 4? Or 5 days idk and my body gets numb randomly. Its faded a little but ugh. Idk what to do
Smoke some weed!!! Assuming ur saying its been 4 days without weed
Idk in my ecperience for my whole life ive ALWAYS had the worst time ever like since i was SEVEENNNNN years old in like 1st grade!!!!! migraine headaches FATIGUEEE oh my god the fatigue really bad congestion heartburn nausea for no fucking reason panic attacks with really bad physical symptoms obsessive thoughts and behaviors no emotional regulation EVERY DAY.
Then i discovered weed and i was like. Huh. Neat.i have free will for the first time in my life and im not in pain. Like its not even so much an escapism thing for me. Its just like. Cool now i can exist without being in pain both mentally and physically.
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sailor-aviator · 3 months
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I hear you on the ear infections! Ear infections can be so bad! I got them chronically as a child and needed to get tubes put in. I’m 32 now and still get them and other than medicated ear drops, there’s not much you can do. Also, don’t recommend rupturing your ear drum. It happened to me in 2019 and had surgery in 2020 to repair it. The constant pain was almost unbearable.
Same with migraines, there’s not much you can do. My doctor told me to avoid stress and then tried to put me on a $300 a month medication that wasn’t covered by insurance or my provinces health coverage. I too just try to deal with them, but at times, it feels like the migraine wins.
I really hope the migraine goes away quickly and you get to sit back and unwind!
Ugh, I had multiple tubes put into my ears as a kid (I know, multiple) and it never worked 😭😭 usually they’re not bad enough that I need to really do anything about them, just sit there and be annoyed. But occasionally, yeah, I gotta go get prescribed the medicated drops
I once had migraine for two days that left me virtually blind. I had to camp out in the living room so I wouldn’t have to go up and down the stairs because, again, I couldn’t see! I could barely walk three steps without crying from the pain. I fucking hate migraines so much 🤬🤬🤬
#answered#beloved mutuals
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heirofgreen · 4 months
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This tumblr is now my diary so readers beware of it being sad n cringe it’s a diary now so like.. that’s just part of the experience. Imagine 2014 tumblr angst but I have dyslexia and ADHD so it’s poorly written. ✨✨
Might get a lil dark in there? TW: for talking and negs of invisible disabilities
Three Peas and Invisible Disabilities
01/10/2024
4:41am
It’s technically Jan 10th 2024, but I haven’t slept so it feels like the 9th or the 8th or the 7th or it’s 2019 or maybe 2010 and I’m nine and curled up under my covers asleep. This is all a dream and I’ll wake up and start my real life soon. The life I wanted when I was nine. I know very melodramatic, but it’s 4:47am now so cut me some slack. I’m awake cause of ANOTHER migraine. Surprise, surprise.
That’s what they don’t tell you about invisible disabilities, you can’t see them either. They creep up on you slowly and you hear the floor creak and a brush across your neck, tingles of pain flick through your hair right down into you’. But you ignore all of the signs cause who wants to deal with all that’s at 4:49 in the morning when you haven’t slept?? Maybe it’ll just go always this time you think? (it won’t) Then all of a sudden surprising no one (accept you cause you’re always a little surprised) the invisibility cloak is ripped off and you realize you’re in so much pain you CAN’T ignore it but some how you do?? Because it’s 4:50am and you can’t be bothered to deal with your fucked brain, so it’ll just have to stay fucked because it’s to much work to get meds right now and you just want to sleep.
Ugh, it’s exhausting trying to gaslight yourself into being healthy. Sleeping would probably help with that but you’re in to much pain to sleep. Chicken and the egg sitch you know? Anyways.. I hate my brain and how it hurts all the time. How I can’t dance because of it. How I had to take MEDICAL leave from college cause you can’t go to school and dance 30 hours a week with constant migraines. I’ve lost a part of myself I might not get back. And I’m so angry about it. SO angry. I want to yank the invisibility off my body and see the pain physically there. I want to stare at it. I want to rip the pain out of my scull and stomp on it! Squish is, tear it apart with my teeth. I want to scream all the time at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I do.. highly recommend 10/10 experience.
It’s 5:06am now. I have so far I have successfully avoided pain meds due to my unwillingness to get out of bed. I’m nothing if not stubborn. Instead I’m rambling into my notes all cause if I don’t I’ll tell someone what’s happening and freak them out and it’s not worth it sometimes you know? My family is supportive and loves me but also has so much going on all the time. They can’t always deal with me. That sounds bad but it’s very human of them (not in a bad way.) It’s not that I think they wouldn’t want to help you know? It’s that sometimes helping me actively hurts them, but they do it anyway. I hate that they do that, even when I need them to. So yeah this one I can deal with myself. Just me and my depression, migraine, and notes app. Three peas in a pod.
Its 5:31 and I’m almost asleep thank god. Head is still shitty but sleep will help (prob) and I must sleep so I can awaken and pet my cats fuzzy heads. Very important business.
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secretxxpaladaiseu · 5 months
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Stalking? No, I just wanted to save you from that nasty fucking hangover migraine, because I know it sucks.
But making you uncomfortable was never among my plans. I'll leave you alone if you truly hate the idea of me caring so much. I was trying to be nice, because I believe you deserve kindness and someone caring about you. But if it has the opposite effect and makes you angry, I won't force it.
I would apologize for bothering you, but I'm not sorry...
You don't even know where I live! At least, I don't believe I've told you. So how would you plan on bringing me something for my headache tomorrow? Only a stalker knows stuff like that...
Ugh. I mean...I would like the attention, though. I do like having people pay attention to me. Fine, fine, fine. You can come take care of me tomorrow. I'll even be extra pathetic just to make up for my rudeness now. How does that sound?
#yeong rply;
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headpainmigraine · 6 months
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LOL, that Dysautonomia Awareness Challenge has gone just as I expected - nothing since the 4th.
Anyway, here's Wonderwall
5) Day in the life with Dysautonomia
This one is difficult, not just because dysautonomia is a dynamic condition, but also because I have 500 other things going on that impacts my day in similar ways.
I can tell you that it means I can't stand for very long, even indoors.
I end up sitting on the floor when in conversation with someone, unless there's a chair nearby. If I go out (ha) that used to mean sitting on the filthy shop floor, but now I have a wheelchair. Otherwise I have to hang onto my sister or my mum on short trips outside.
The dizziness and faint feeling makes me feel weak and feeble, which is REALLY annoying. A spell can hit at any time, so I have to either do little projects I can drop in the middle without too much stress, or have someone assisting who can finish the task/get it to a stopping place without me.
Can't eat, tremors. Can't stand, tremors. Can't hold still, tremors.
Can't go in the back garden for any length of time without making sure there's a chair out there or bringing my rollator.
No spontaneity. No independence.
This question is depressing, next!
6) Your medication regimen.
I take a few meds, but the one I take for my dysautonomia is ivabradine. One in the AM, one in the PM, to slow my heart and hopefully help with the palpitations.
Eh, so-so. I certainly get the side effect of light suddenly glaring when I move outside of a dark room.
Otherwise, I used to drink a lot of water, but fell off that wagon. I have compression stockings, but only under the knee because I can't manage the full tights version I was supposed to wear.
All in all, my pandysautonomia isn't really being managed by meds.
7) Your favourite products to manage your symptoms.
Products? Compression socks help, but I hate them. I like Lucozade Sport for electrolyte replenishment, but it's too expensive for me to have a constant supply.
I like 4Head strips for when my temperature regulation goes out of whack.
Uhhhh… it's not really managed, tbh.
8) Favourite way to hydrate.
Pepsi Max.
But no, I like the cute water bottles and all, but I don't have the spoons to wash them out and they get funky and then I don't use them.
Lucozade Sport, again, is good, but, again, it's too expensive for me to rely on that alone.
I got electrolyte salts, but I think they triggered a migraine.
9) Your "saltcuterie" board/salty snacks
UGH, this one pisses me off.
For fuck's sake, dysautonomia isn't just POTS, and it isn't just POTS with low blood pressure, either.
People with high blood pressure, or just all over wacky blood pressure, can also have dysautonomia. Hell, can also have POTS.
And high salt diets are contraindicated for people with high BP and dysautonomia.
I feel like shit like this is just quirkifying dysautonomia into a collection of hashtags and memeable pics.
And what's more, leaves huges groups of people who DO have POTS or other dysautonomic conditions thinking that they can't possibly have POTS because they don't have low BP like the entire internet tells them they need in order for a diagnosis.
Seriously, you can't diagnose this kind of thing online.
You can't 'informed self-DX' dysautonomia.
Can you suspect it? Sure. And if doing all the 'typical' POTS things like increasing salt in your diet and wearing compression socks helps, go for it.
But you'll never know if you actually have POTS or if something else is causing your symptoms, whether it's another form of dysautonomia or something else altogether. Like just having low blood pressure.
And I know that's easy to say, like seeing a doctor for this is simple when it's not, but seriously. Some things you just can't diagnose yourself online.
10) Favourite pair of compression socks
I hate them all. I was supposed to get a pair prescribed, but my GP and pharmacists are all too incompetent and stupid to understand how to do so, so I just bought the right strength myself off Amazon.
THEY SUUUUUCK. I struggle to get them on, they aggravate my dermographia and I can't regulate my temperature properly in them because they make me feel hot all the time.
Sucks.
11) Your mobility aids.
I use a rollator inside the house sometimes, in places like the kitchen where I need to stop and talk to someone but don't want to sit on the cold, hard floor. I use it outside in my back garden so I can walk around a little but not have to crouch or sit in the grass, given that I can't just stand there for very long.
I used to have a manual wheelchair, but I don't have the strength to push myself, and I don't have the stamina to be able to do so. I go a chair BECAUSE I don't have the stamina to stand, and I wanted to have a little left over when I got back home so that a grocery shopping trip didn't leave me in bed for the next 3 days.
The manual chair wasn't doing that so I switched to a powerchair and it's wonderful. Yeah, there are drawbacks (battery life, dead-end corridors, narrow doorways, manouverability, STEPS FOR NO REASON) but I can go to Tesco or the garden centre and buzz around for an hour or an hour and a half and come home and be tired but still able to sit upright.
12) How you manage a flare
Literally, by dropping to the floor. If I'm having a really symptomatic day, I'll either spend it in one place (my bed or the couch usually) or I'll make really short trips of a few steps at a time and then sit to rest before continuing.
Hate it.
13) The thing that has helped me the most since diagnosis is…
Diagnosis it self has helped with the imposter syndrome A LITTLE.
It's helped me understand what's going on with my body in relation to my other health issues more as well.
I can tell people I have pandysautonomia without uhmig and ahing and adding footnotes to it, and it's helped me when telling benefits that no, I can't stand actually.
14) Tips for cooking/cleaning with dysautonomia
I can't do either. Maybe pick up little bits of rubbish and put them in the little bin in my room, but I can't cook for myself and I can't do any large cleaning duties either.
For smaller tasks, I'd probably say, wait for a day where you've had a rest, where you know you can rest afterwards (for the next day or two), you have no big trips out or mentally draining tasks coming up, etc.
Break the task into small parts and see what you can do while sitting down, leave those for a bad day.
Do little and often, if you can.
Don't expect yourself to be able to complete a task all at once. Make small, achieveable goals.
But mostly, have a carer. IDK how I'd manage without my mum. I'm not going into a rant about the quality of life disabled people have at higher expense in order to just live, I'm not.
15) Managing dysautonomia at work/school
Lol, I can't work like this. I was fired from my job of 10 years for my migraines, and I developed pandysautonomia a few years later. I can barely spend time out of bed and downstairs most days, I physically can't work. What are you, the DWP?
16) Favourite dysautonomia-friendly hobbies/activities
WRITING!
Writing most of all.
Puzzle app on my phone
Plants are good, because they only need a little sporadic care, depending on what you get, and research is sometimes something I can do in a flare, depending on brain fog.
Keeping inverts. Tarantulas are good because they need infrequent feeding and really simple care, bioactive enclosures that don't need deep cleaning like a hamster cage or litter box might.
Inverts of all kinds, really, except the tiny ones that need tiny food because flies are a pain in the butt to work with.
Reptile keeping is also pretty easy, depending on the reptile and how you keep them. Surprisingly low maintainence, but it's also really easy to do in short bursts at infrequent intervals.
I like artistic pursuits, but they're hard in a flare up when the tremors get bad and I stop being able to lift my arms.
At the moment my favourite hobby is planning out my fish tanks, also pretty easy if you've got help for water changes, and really nice if you're having a migraine but can't sleep.
17) Your go-to comfort show/movie during a flare.
Adventure Time.
Generation Kill.
My Neighbours the Yamadas
There are others (Always Sunny, Over The Garden Wall, Inside Man (not the David Tennant one), Knightmare (old TV show on YouTube), Animals of Farthing Wood, Bob's Burgers, Fight Club, various anime) but those are the main three.
#dysautonomia awareness month#dysautonomia awareness month quiz#pandysautonomia#dysautonomia#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#chronic illness#dysautonomia awareness challenge
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milkygraveyard · 1 year
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UGH sometimes I just want people to leave me alone!!! Like fuck, why can’t I just be more upfront
I’m lucky that I have great people in my life who never take advantage of me or manipulate me
But like with the shitty people that ARE in my life; I literally won’t respond to a message and then they decide to spam me a bunch and call me multiple times??? Like wtf?? If I didn’t answer the first time then stop fucking blowing up my phone. I fucking hate that shit soooo much. It just feels so rude and it’s weird af
Like cant they get the hint that I don’t want to talk to them?? I already see them enough as it is, that on my days off I’m like ok please do not bother me lol
Im so over people frs WHY DO I ATTRACT PSYCHOS IM SICK 😔 im tired of dealing with people I don’t even like it’s literally draining me
Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m not advancing in life; because I keep letting toxic people hang around me
It gives me migraines. Hopefully soon i can be able to cut this toxicity out of my life but it just doesn’t seem like it would be happening anytime soon. I know it’s my fault cuz I stay, I just need to make these changes on my own
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Text
The migraine is still holding on. It's not as bad as it was yesterday. Ugh. When I took a cool shower, it was pretty much gone while under the water. As soon as I got out, the pain came back.
It helped to put an icepack on the back of my neck but now the ice pack is warm and back in the freezer.
I fucking hate this so much. Here's hoping another night of sleep helps.
#sam rambles#I've had migraines before and multi day headaches before#first multi day migraine and I'm not a fan#i wanna pull my brain out of my head and soak it in ice water
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