i’m a mirage in the heat, you are the afterimage

i am finite within your infinity

-lyrics from midnight sun by cinema staff (aka, the official unofficial eruri song at the end of s3p2)

the rest of the lyrics, such as:

This might be the dream you were extending your hand towards

and

Midnight Sun, atonement, your body growing cold

confirm that midnight sun is from levi’s pov, and it’s really curious to me what the lines at the top mean.

levi thinks of himself - or what he is to erwin - as an optical illusion? mirages tend to be associated with that scene of a dehydrated person in the desert who thinks he sees an oasis, right?

erwin of course put all his faith in levi in that battle, and every time before. erwin chose to trust levi a long time ago, when he did the same.

when erwin bared his heart with him and told levi that he could feel all their comrades’ eyes on them, and then asked if it was all in his head, we know levi disagrees (their dead comrades surround them both in that scene), but levi does think that he’s undeserving of that unconditional faith, love, and trust. the extent to what hope and strength erwin sees/saw in him isn’t there (which levi is especially likely to think after failing to kill zeke this time)

so levi thinks, in erwin’s desperation, he was looking for a means to see the world outside, find the truth—and landed on levi because of that desperation, not because levi holds enough value to be worthy of erwin.

an afterimage is a “ghost” of the actual image remaining in one’s vision after it’s gone.

it’s interesting how both of these metaphors have to do with illusions. are they literally connected though? when levi’s life disappears, should erwin’s spirit be the one to remain? is erwin his ending?

erwin saw the mirage first, yes? so is levi saying that erwin is his beginning and his ending ? i’m going to be sick

levi sees erwin as infinite. his spirit, his determination, his beauty, his everything, but levi - and literally, in terms of the definition of infinity - might as well be nothing.

“You known Levi” Hange starts, their eyes with a melancholic gleam staring into the door in front of their office. The room was filled with a deafening silents. He looks over to them.

“I’m starting to understand why you did it” They pause, The weight on their shoulders, Erwin must have felt it too—“ Why you let Erwin go. That day on the rooftop” a grim smile follows.

“Because I’m starting to feel it too”

Levi didn’t them to explain more—He knew.

happy known-stranger-versary :]

you know who you are 

damn maybe you should use your time for better things than writing levi with that geriatric loser who he didnt care to save

One day, these gambles were going to pay off. At least, that’s what Erwin told himself. There’s no way he would have been able to do this if he didn’t convince himself that it was worth the risk. (That was a blatant lie. Erwin loved the thrill that came with a gamble. The adrenaline rush of the unknown and the high stakes risk was almost more rewarding to him than actually winning.) He nearly got lost in the moment too, it had been so long, but the cool press of the blade to his throat didn’t let his mind wander far. “Eyes on me big guy,” Levi - that’s what he’d said his name was - ordered him. Bucking his hips up sharply, breaking their rhythm for a second and making Erwin gasp. Erwin wanted to know everything about Levi. There was an indescribable intrigue about the man that would undoubtedly be Erwin’s undoing. So far he’d managed to undo Erwin’s belt and trousers with ease.

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Alright, I am 2 for 2 on NSFW Eruri Week 2023 (@nsfweruriweek2023)

This is literally the shortest Explicit piece I have ever written. I am honestly impressed with myself for keeping it so brief.

Summary Below the Cut

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman & Erwin Smith

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith

Additional Tags: ACWNR, canon compliant, knifeplay, danger, power dynamics, power bottom, who is really in charge?, bottom erwin smith, top levi ackerman, top levi ackerman/bottom erwin smith, nsfw eruri week 2023, anal sex, riding, blow jobs, come swallowing, they haven't a clue what they've gotten themselves into

Summary:

One day, these gambles were going to pay off.

At least, that’s what Erwin told himself.

There’s no way he would have been able to do this if he didn’t convince himself that it was worth the risk.

(That was a blatant lie. Erwin loved the thrill that came with a gamble. The adrenaline rush of the unknown and the high stakes risk was almost more rewarding to him than actually winning.)

He nearly got lost in the moment too, it had been so long, but the cool press of the blade to his throat didn’t let his mind wander far.

“Eyes on me big guy,” Levi - that’s what he’d said his name was - ordered him. Bucking his hips up sharply, breaking their rhythm for a second and making Erwin gasp.

Erwin wanted to know everything about Levi. There was an indescribable intrigue about the man that would undoubtedly be Erwin’s undoing. So far he’d managed to undo Erwin’s belt and trousers with ease.

ha yeah attack on titan doesn’t make me emotional—

“lead those crying children straight to hell”

“thank you, levi”

or you could just not be a homophobe?? whats wrong with you?

Why exactly makes people think I'm homophobic? Because I'm genderbending Levi? Really?

I also genderbent Erwin AND Levi in the same story, writing fem!eruri, which made them two women lmao. In Tit for Tat, I wrote Erwin and Mike having sex, in part two Petra and fem!Levi sleep with each other, multiple times, which is - surprise - also two characters of the same gender having sex, but yeah, apparently, that makes me a homophobe.

I dedicated two years of my life doing a full fan translation of Dresden. You could read that, give the author credit for writing men not able to love each other in the way straight people can, based on real events, just like it was and still is for millions of real people.

As a bi woman, I was in a same sex relationship myself and know what true homophobia and hate is, and how it fucks you up for years if not your whole life, so don't give me that bullshit.

I know how fucking unfair it is, how you are treated differently simply depending on what hand you are holding in public. I know how damaging and traumatising it was having to hear the slurs and people harrassing us, trying to PHYSICALLY break my then girlfriend and me apart and talking shit about us behind our backs. How invisible I often feel in my straight relationship in the present. Because once you happen to fall in love with a guy as a bi woman, people assume you were having a phase and are on the "right track" now. Your parents are all of a sudden hopeful again, that they might be getting grandchildren after all, even though I stated a hundred fucking times I wont be getting any. So many times, I feel like I'm betraying myself, even though I'm happy, I can always do a balancing act. I was so happy to move out of that fucking conservative town I grew up in and lived for two decades of my fucking live. But it all clings to me like a piece of shit stained toilet paper under my shoe.

Some people happen to like what I write. It makes me happy, it even helps me reflect on my own experiences in a safe way sometimes. If you want to read "real" Eruri, go for it, but leave your hate elsewhere. What's wrong with you?

Even after all these years, I’m still #zevi trash. I dunno I really enjoy watching the snark between them 😅

ugly freak eruri, go die in a ditch

Ooh, my very first hate anon! I've made it as a blog!

Anyway anon, Tumblr is 13+. So you might want to grow up a little before you come on here and send hate to people over a fictional ship, because only someone with the critical thinking skills of an infant would behave like you.

au where kenny joins the scouts part 2

finally reading Counterpart by Cerasium!

man these ship wars are really crazy since I don't use Tiktok I haven't had such an experience but unfortunately I often come across such dramas on twitter.as a multishipper i started to hate eruri too because they harassed some solo levi stans and shippers on twitter and forced their Hc on others like canon.

yeah i understand where you’re coming from w that. i hated levihan when some shippers shoved it down others’ throats or took the manga out of context to fit their ship (which happens a lot in general). obviously i love it now

after that when ppl would argue between levihan or eruri i’d just comment ‘levi x onyakopon’💀 or ‘ship erurihan’ lmao. shipping wars are ridiculous.

i mean idc abt whatever ship as long as it’s between adults and not incestual iykwim… but ppl need to be respectful of each other.

Three thoughts on the finale of Attack of Titan. Hear me out here on all of it, whether you agree or not, please, because I think I make a really great point at the end.

1) I don’t know why the ending got so much hate. I know I’m going to get a lot of heat for it, but as a writer myself, I thought the poetic and heart searing nature of the end, despite how painful the situation was, was brilliantly done. I’m not sure what the issue was. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t really happy. But it was right.

2) Levi’s character arc was absolutely bang on. He’s my favorite character, so I had to say that. The Eruri in me wants to point out that Erwin’s was the last face to disappear for him. Romantic or not, that tie between them was strong af.

3) The boy walking through the tree. It just keeps happening. It’s why there were beast titans that were dinosaurs in one of the openings. It will never end. There are just generations of titans, just like war destroys everything and then is rebuilt, the titans are wiped out and then re-emerge. It’s horrifying, but my god. It’s the tragic cycle of the world, isn’t it?

Oh, and one more thing: Eren did horrible things. No denying that. But he was a child with the fate of the world in his hands. An idiot with more power than he could handle. As we all are. As are each of our nations. Everyone who can wield a weapon is an idiot with too much power.

I'm not exactly pleased with how this drawing is turning out but I also hate just having it languish in my WIPs so. eruri be upon ye I guess

Just adding this on, but this isn't an attempt on my part or an encouragement to harass these people, though I'm sure everyone reading this already knows that. Just a means of letting others know who's behind at least some of the harassment lately.

Alright, well, here comes the call-out post that I promised anon. Have fun with it, I guess. It's about to get long, folks. A group of @tsuki-no-ura followers, who's been obviously vague posting about me for months at this point, specifically targeting every topic I discuss on my blog by making counterarguments to it on their blog, even though I never directed any of my analysis posts or anything else at them, nor has anything I've ever written been in direct response to anything they've written, is certainly behind at least some of the harassment. And other than the times I've tried having conversations with tsuki in the past, when I used to follow them, and wanted to discuss their posts with them, which almost always went ignored, I haven't at all addressed them or made reference to them, either implied or specifically, in any of my analysis posts. I only made reference to them a few weeks back when I found out that they'd essentially said my defense of Levi's violence was tantamount to Nazism, which I wasn't going to let stand. That's the only time I've ever directly referenced them. And yet, every time I make an analysis post, a counterargument to it magically appears on their blog the same day or a few days later, something that was brought to my attention by a mutual of mine. I had no idea until a couple weeks ago that this was happening, because I stopped following them more than a year ago, and only just recently blocked them. But they're obviously stalking me. And, inevitably, every time they do this, a slew of anon hate messages get sent, both to me and various other blogs that I follow, or that follow me. This isn't a coincidence:

@clearavenuelover, @66honeybadgers, and I'm sure various other of their groupies, are the ones almost assuredly largely behind the anonymous attacks on Levi blogs over the last, several months. They start out with their passive-aggressive bullshit, and eventually, of course, it turns to outright hostility, because that's just who these people are. @clearavenuelover purposefully tagged me in one of tsuki's posts, and so obviously they're aware of their followers harassing other Levi fan blogs. This is the link to the post they tagged me and other Levi fan blogs in: https://www.tumblr.com/tsuki-no-ura/739123803956854784/okay-so-here-i-come-with-my-discourse-causing

And yet more evidence that these people all congregate in the same circles and circle-jerk each other over how they think they're "winning" some non-existent contest against me and other Levi fan blogs.

And look who liked this answer as soon as it was put up:

And here @66honeybadgers is again, name-dropping tsuki-no-ura while they continue to harass me:

And this is clearly the same douche-bag that asked me a few weeks back if I considered myself a "Levi expert", and has now, over the last two days, continued to harass me for daring to express my opinion about Levi on my own blog, dropping the "friendly" act and showing their outright hostility:

This is clear harassment from a very specific corner of the fandom, mainly, surprise, surprise, eruri shippers, or even just Erwin stans who want to make everything about him, and get angry at anyone who dares to express any different view from the ones they hold, to the point of actively seeking out and stalking our blogs, hate reading our posts, going into our inboxs and sending us anonymous hate messages, trying to cram their opinions down our throats and then getting upset when we don't listen or accept their views. And then they want to go around acting like they're all the victims. What a joke these people are. Anyway, I just thought I should make this post so that actual Levi fan blogs can know to avoid and block these assholes. I can't say if they're behind ALL of the harassment, but they're certainly behind some of it, and it's good to expose them because they're cowards, and once they've been exposed, they won't have the fucking balls to continue.