#i had to make one for myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

super-metroid · 6 months

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#mad rat dead #i had to make one for myself #happy monday #mad rat monday

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inkskinned · 9 months

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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notbrucewayne48 · 4 months

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"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area #so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying #even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations #now things are more calmed but damn #mind your own bussiness #i believe she knows more about herself than you #sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind #insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about”#or because they “just have to wait for the right person”#or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something”#i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself #and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one #aromantic #arospec #asexual #aroace #acespec

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puppyeared · 8 months

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learned something about myself lately

#i dont think its even the fact almost all my characters are somewhat beasts in one way or another. i just #really like tails and wish i had one myself #and then my oc designs are a little tame theyre mostly human shaped with animal features. but they always have tails #my eyes have recently been opened to the appeal of long whiplike unicorn tails.. so flowy and curly #something about the tuft at the end being long and swirly just does something for me..#maybe it would make sense to change auggies tail shape so it looks like a meteor. her design is mainly pink with hot pink accent #so it would be cool to use that and orange to make it look like a fire meteor.. maybe itll help complement the blue/green in her design #head full of ocs today so expect a ramble later #if i had a tail i think it would be long with a kink. so it kind of folds over once but not in a curl #when it wags its kind of a swaying motion. i have thought about this a normal amount #yapping

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bigfatbreak · 3 months

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more dad villain au stuff

featuring: Nooroo having Marinette's cooking for the very first time after a lifetime of imprisonment eating dog kibble because of Gabriel

also featuring: Marinette nervously putting him in containment for his own good (it is a cake dome)

#the cupcake was prettier before nooroo smashed his whole body into it #dad villain au #my art #marinette dupain cheng #tom dupain cheng #nooroo #i had to draw smth to make myself laff bc today was one of those days....

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ineed-to-sleep · 23 days

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She is Looking at you 👁👁

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #tav #oc.nawen #sleepyscribble #little portrait I never posted skldhskdhs #I wanted to make like a couple more portraits I had some ideas for to post together w this #but then my interests shifted and I sort of abandoned them dlfhdflhd #so I'm just posting it as is #I have another one in my folders that's nearly finished so if I can bring myself to finish it I'll post it too

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taxinealkaloids · 11 days

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kill your darling, it's just that easy!

#tlt #my art #i reblogged these outfits the other day that were giving me big ianthe & naberius vibes so i wanted to draw something with them #got really funky w/ this one! i just wanted to play around i havent had the chance to draw in a while #so i just kinda let myself do whatever w/ the colors and art style and everything #idk how i feel about it but it was fun #anyway ive seen some posts suggesting that ianthe somehow cheated the system by sacrificing naberius and like...#no she absolutely did not? she paid that price exactly by the book (making her one of the few to actually do so)#and now she suffers forever for it :)#oh the line on top is a quote from the book and the caption is a lyric from 'kill your darling' by cloudy june #(which aside from that one line is not at all a ianthe&naberius song lmao)

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duu-kiwi · 8 months

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I bet aziraphale wrote about the day the universe was made, about the angel whose voice recited the words that created the stars, about how bright they shone, and still shine, in those angel eyes✨🪐

Here you have some detailss and a cropped version with just!! them!!!

edit: prints link !

#Good Omens #good omens fanart #good omens season 2 #there is something something abt the diary(?) that aziraphale writes #that theyve might wrote abt that time too #and i also thought abt the possibility that crowley will found and read them someday #i had like three separate pieces that make this concept a bit more linear? im really excited because i had a really fun time making this #it was challenging but oh so regarding to make a full piece since 2021 #anyways i really love them and they have inspired me to push myself a little further so im really grateful for that #also FOR THIS SECOND SEASON THAT NO ONE HAD THE RIGHT TO MAJE IT THST GUTGRENCHING AND FUNNY AND GOOD?!?!#aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #fanart #art #aziracrow #angel crowley my beloved #i hope i nailed the love at first sight eyes on aziraphale bc that was what happened there right?#artists on tumblr #good omens 2 #angel crowley #myart

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sketchingstars03 · 7 days

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HAPPY (very late 😭) BIRTHDAY INK SANS!!!!

WAUGH I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS PIECE INK BC I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON IT (despite forgoing lineart in an attempt to make things easier for myself 💀)

Either way, I’m really proud of how it turned out! 😅

Happy belated birthday to the guy who started it all for me! And here’s to all the fandom memories that were and will be made!

(credits and more 👀 under the cut)

Ink and Aster (ZT! Gaster) by @/comyet

Dream by jokublog

Swap/Blue by the community

Cross by @/jakei95 (slight outfit change by me)

Undertop Gaster by @/undertop

…Acrylic??! by @hexcia

and we all know who made Splatter here ;3

Anyways, some silly tidbits about this piece

The different papers don’t represent AUs, but fanart and fanfic that’s been produced by the fandom! The very thing that keeps Ink going!

I snuck in a couple subtle references to a few Ink-centric fics that I hear are pretty good 👀. Look for the initials

There’s a couple classic UT references in here as well, golden flower, save star (behind the text) and a doodle of the human and monster from the intro cutscene!

Also you can probably notice the silly cameo of Acrylic from my friend’s AU, Hexverse!

The final paper Ink is holding, the rainbow heart doodle, sorta represents the idea that art, creativity, the fandom itself is their “soul”, and also it signifies the love we’ve given to this super cool character! <3

If you’ve read this far, tysm for listening to my rambles!

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dykehayleywilliams · 1 year

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now i'm one of those crazy girls

(one of those) crazy girls - Buenos Aires, Argentina - March 7, 2023

#RO GIF MAKING ERA BACK ??????#no but i couldn't help myself this video broke me and i had no choice but to make a shitty gif #hayley williams #i am on my KNEES for you #(one of those) crazy girls #paramore #my edit #tiny skirt supremacy

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inkskinned · 11 months

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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

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elalalune · 7 months

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Twilight au where mihawk is edward and buggy is bella

#one piece #dracule mihawk #one piece mihawk #mihawk x buggy #hawkbug #my art #i crave crack aus so badly I had to make one to feed myself 😔#young mihawk is so fun to draw #twilight au

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doodoodinklefart · 3 months

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it's late but!!!! happy birthday suguru!!!!! you deserve the world 🥺🥺🥺🥺i could have gotten it on time but im rlly bad at planning LOOL but i hope you enjoy it anyway!! it's based on my own personal hc that suguru consumed his first curse on his birthday as a child and has associated his birthday with curses ever since (but satoru brings new meaning to it! i hate them very much)

also gonna add alt text soon! i just wanted to get it posted before the 5th LOL

edit: alt text added!

#i actually had so much fun with this one #especially because ive never really been good with black and white comics but i really pushed myself to try and make it look nice #im quite proud of it actually.....#geto suguru #happy birthday geto #!!!!#gojo satoru #satosugu #sugusato #stsg #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jjk #jjk fanart #comic #jjk comic #doodooart

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dragondawdles · 6 months

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hi been noodling with designs for block guys have some sandy boys

#mcyt #grian #goodtimeswithscar #gtwscar #scar goodtimes #desert duo #3rd life #third life #trafficblr #what are. the fandom tags (ekplodes)#dragon doodles #id in alt #remembered I wanted to let myself post more messy things here so here's! design passes I got carried away with #rly liked the idea of scar's palette being dark colors and green and grian's pale color's and red but scar's a red life and grian's a green #complimentary character design when I remember to do you my beloved <3 #scar's wheelchair is powered and has treads + a front stabilizing wheel for sand purposes (also I referenced minecart wheels hence. cube)#not something I have much practice in but AM wanting to experiment more with wheelchair designs had lots of fun with this one :]#meant to be making these for a bigger piece but I'm actually procrastinating rn so Not saving these for then I Aim to stop procrastinating

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intheconfessiondial · 4 months

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Redraw of the cape post, because that entire concept deserved better than the illustration I gave it.

#just give 12 a cape it's all I ask #yes I was watching Musketeers again #doctor who fanart #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #whouffaldi #twelveclara #guess who watched Heaven Sent + Hellbent again #I only cried half a tear but I did get Really sweaty #which is an improvement from last time #it took me about 8 years to getting round to watching those 2 episodes because Face the Raven destroyed me so hard #I'm pretty sure I couldnt eat for a whole day after FtR aired #although at that point I had been steadily absorbing Clara's personality into my own for a few years #I don't have a personality I stole it from Clara Oswald #read all of the 12clara books. listened to the audiobooks. Running out of content at a concerning rate #had to buy another comic #one day I'll have consumed all 12+Clara content. Then I'll just have to take matters into my own hands (make it myself)

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starflungwaddledee · 5 months

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maybe a little bit generic of me, but i adore the dream land four!

magolor and bandee are tied for tippy top favourite, but this whole group just mean everything to me and i am extremely normal about them. after these guys it's probably a very close galacta knight and marx!

king dedede was actually my first ever played exposure to the franchise (through smash multiplayer at a party where i picked him due to Bird) and marx was my first 'character i recognised + played + was obsessed with outside the mains' in star allies so i still consider him my original Little Freak (affectionate)

ask answer for @trainerbob23!

#i actually had to really fight with myself not to make dedede even more Penguin than this. a stylistic compromise Was Reached #and i'm happy to compromise!! ha ha! ha!! totally fine!! *squints grumpily at the yellow bill in bird nerd*#changes on meta knight and magolor however are from the events of awtdy. consider this a happy ending snapshot!#*obviously* meta knight gets back to his loved ones. that's not a spoiler right? we wouldn't leave him rock-candied forever.#a little softer and a little more protective tho. definitely makes sure to tell them that he loves them more often. (even magolor)#awtdy au #my art #meta knight #king dedede #kirby #magolor #bandana waddle dee #and also on account of it being at the end of the au i'll tag this ->#bandee x magolor #🍎

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