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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 6 months

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Fireflies Over The Wall - Chapter 8

Relationship: The Bell Keeper & Meiri (Original character)

Summary: "The troll brought with herself, every night without a fault, a baby.

Every night, she placed it upon the grass, and pointed upwards, showing her baby the stars and constellations. Showing her baby the fireflies.

Holding it tight. Cuddling with it. Making sure it saw the beauty the world had to offer. He had never considered himself a sentimental man. Yet this image, for some reason, never failed to make him return home feeling something gaping and void inside of himself.

Every one of his former coworkers must have returned to their families.

Who would Edmund return to when he could work no more?

What would give him a reason to get out of bed when the fireflies were no longer enough?"

An OC's origin story as well as a Bell Keeper character study, because this character is much more fascinating than I'd been giving him credit for.

Notes: Title from 'mirrorball', by Taylor Swift

Chapter title: When I break, it's in a million pieces

Read it on ao3

He waited a while, figuring that if Meiri wasn’t in the best headspace (which he truly doubted, given the manner in which she left his house) she might not head to orphanage right away. But after roughly an hour, during which he didn’t have the energy to do anything other than finishing washing his clothes and leaving them out to dry, Edmund dragged himself to the cabin’s telephone and rang Terry’s personal number.

“Hello!” The man greeted, and this time Edmund couldn’t hold back a groan. Being met with cheerfulness when he felt this awful about himself felt similar to being awoken with a flashlight to your face in the middle of the night. “Is everything alright?”

He rubbed the spot between his brows. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Just wanted to know if Meiri had arrived safely, she was very out of sorts when she left here earlier.”

A beat of silence was time enough for his stomach to drop. “Meiri hasn’t arrived yet. Not to my knowledge, at least.”

“But she’s been gone for over an hour.” The hand that had been on his forehead now ran through his hair. “It’s been more than enough time for her to arrive.”

Terry cleared his throat with the obvious impression that Edmund was blowing things out of proportion. “Well, she might be playing outside still. Or at the library. The sun is only going down now, so she still has a couple more minutes to arrive.”

“No, I’m serious. She ran away. Actually ran. It’s not safe for her to be out and about in the state she was in.”

Holding the phone between his ear and shoulder, Edmund was already reaching out for his coat. Meiri could be anywhere. She could not be aware of the time. Whatever he’d done to her, clearly she hadn’t been in any condition to be wandering around on her own. He was still of the opinion that she was too young to be doing that, anyway, but they wouldn’t be in this situation if he had kept acting on his philosophy that it was none of his business what the girl got to.

“And what state was she in, if I may ask?”

Little shit. He sounded like he knew exactly what he was talking about. He just wanted to hear him say it. Edmund sighed.

“I think I scared her.” He admitted in a regretful voice. Terry responded with a matching sigh, though his sounded way more tired than worried.

“We’ll wait until her curfew is over, then we’ll begin searching. Don’t worry, Edmund. It wasn’t your fault.”

The words were meant to comfort him, but they only pissed him off. Edmund put the phone back in its hook and passed his second arm through the thick sleeve of the yellow jacket, checking that he had his keys in his pockets and his shoes were tied. They had no way of knowing if it hadn’t been his fault. He had no way of knowing if it hadn’t been his fault. But it would be if Meiri got hurt because she was walking around while having a meltdown. Edmund left his cabin lights on and his door opened, figuring that maybe she’d feel free to go inside if she was around and showed up while he was looking for her, and set off into his search.

…......

He’d searched the woods that circled the wall for an hour. Then he’d gone to St. Anne’s and talked to a (now getting worried) Terry, who had also been making calls to know where he wouldn’t even need to look. Edmund asked to borrow their phone for an instant, dialling the only number he knew by heart.

Kaisa picked up after four rings; in moments like these, it was a blessing that she was the only librarian in that mausoleum. Not that there had really been any moments like these before.

Meiri wasn’t in the library either, but Kaisa picked up on his obvious distress and told him to come by, since she thought she could help. He took off running through the streets, after Terry promised he and one of the other caretakers who were on duty that evening would comb through the orphanage’s neighbourhood.

When he arrived at the library, which was dark and silent now that working hours had already been long over, Kaisa ran up to him with a spell book at hand.

“This will help trace back to her if you cast it over something she owns.” She said, pointing to the glyphs he wasn’t remotely close to understanding. “It’s simple enough that I should be able to cast it.”

“Okay.” He nodded while his heart hammered inside his chest. Her roommates must be asleep already. “There’s some snacks I bought her in my house, but I’m not sure that counts as hers. She brought a library book today. Would that work?”

Kaisa thought for a while, looking like she thought the right answer was ‘no’ but she didn’t want to tell him that.

“I suppose that since she borrowed it, it’s technically her property for a while.” She risked a guess. “Let’s go try it.”

The witch wasn’t confident enough to try any transportation spells, not even a speed one. But she was able to call them a taxi since her friend seemed to be too worried to even think about the possibility. Their driver seemed to pick up on his sense of urgency and arrived at the road end closest to his home in fifteen minutes, a new record, and the two of them ran together to his house.

Well, not together together, since someone was apparently not working on her cardio, but Kaisa was trying, he’d give her that. And she didn’t currently feel as if a syringe full of adrenaline had been injected directly inside of her veins.

His panic only escalated the more time passed.

Even though seeing Kaisa perform magic was a rare opportunity, he couldn’t even appreciate it, too anxious about what the result would be to appreciate the fact that hey, I’m really friends with a witch, biting the inside of his cheek all the while she cast.

“Did it work?” He asked anxiously as soon as she stopped speaking. Kaisa nodded.

“There’s a trail pointing to the owner, but only the caster can see it. Come on, let’s follow it.”

He only had Kaisa’s word to go for it, but she seemed to be very clearly following directions, so he decided that running after her was a risk worth taking. For a long while, they just made their way back to the city centre, which meant that it took them long, painful minutes of running until they could be sure that they weren’t being led back to the library or, who knew, the townhall. He wasn’t sure who even really owned library books, truth be told. But they kept running and running, until they had no energy left in them and were essentially dragging themselves in a hurry through the streets. It would have been a picture worthy moment, great blackmailing material for future instances to capture the way Kaisa looked at that moment; for obvious reasons, he wasn’t in that headspace at the moment.

Eventually the path began to make sense to Edmund, who remembered very clearly the last time he’d walked through those streets in specific.

“Is it-” He had to take a deep breath, sweat dripping down the back of his neck even though the night was cold. “Is it pointing to the abandoned bell tower?”

Bless her soul, Kaisa sounded even worse than he did. “Why is there… a bell tower... smack in the middle of the city?”

“Is it?”

“I think so! I don’t know!”

With energy that he must have borrowed from whatever gods were looking after him at that moment, Edmund began running towards the old entrance, two blocks away, hearing Kaisa scream after him while lacking the actual capacity to pick up her pace. It was no matter; she’d already helped him more than he could ever repay her for.

Trolberg wasn’t a very busy city at night, which was lucky since almost no one saw him flying through the streets like a madman. His skeleton key was at the ready to make quick work of the lock, but the door opened with nothing other than turning the knob, which raised him the question of how Meiri had gotten inside in the first place.

Suddenly it made a lot of sense that the people at Saint Anne’s had given up on trying to stop her from running around whenever she felt like it.

The spiralling staircase would have felt impossible to overcome under any other circumstances, but he was so close that being tired didn’t hold him back anymore. The trapdoor on top of the ladder was ajar; he’d finally found her.

After poking his head through the opening, he very easily spotted the girl, curled up into a ball on the part of the floor that had the least amount of bat filth. Her head rested on her bent knees, her shins being hugged tightly and her backpack between her thighs and torso. She couldn’t see him. Yet she heard it when he arrived and tensed up.

Edmund lifted himself up into the tower with as little noise as he could, keeping his steps light as he approached her delicately. He sat down close enough that she’d be able to hear him, but kept some space between themselves.

“Hey, kid.” He said softly, which was hard considering he was still panting from the exertion. “Can I talk?”

She doesn’t answer; but she’d never had any trouble in telling him ‘no’ before, so he takes it as a green sign, hoping he’d recognize it if it turned yellow or red.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was sincere. He did regret it deeply. He regretted that he had caused this. That he hadn’t sensed that he shouldn’t have asked. That he didn’t wait longer, though he didn’t know if that would have made a difference. He just couldn’t bring himself to feel sorry that he had asked, but she didn’t need to know that. “I never meant to cause you any distress, kid. Really. You’re a very good girl and I… I apologise for causing this.”

He sighed, saying to hell with it and leaning back against what remained of the stone wall no matter how dirty it was. He’d definitely need to do more laundry when he arrived back home. It was beginning to dawn on him that he should probably warn someone that he had found her, when she finally spoke.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Her voice was muffled by her position, but he still heard her well enough.

“Whatever I did, it made you uncomfortable. That’s reason enough to apologise.”

She lifted her head. Her eyes were puffy, clear tear paths still visible. She stared straight forward, not sparing him a glance.

“You can’t adopt me. I don’t want to lose you.”

She said it like stating a fact. Something inevitable. Something so obvious that she had already accepted it, making clear with her voice that he should too.

“That’s okay.” Edmund measured his words, not looking at her despite how much he wanted to on the grounds that it might make it harder for her to do this. He wished his heart would cooperate right now. It had finally slowed down but now it had decided to ache, stupid thing. “I don’t want you to feel like you need to accept it if you still want to be my friend and come around. You’ll always be welcome.”

He ran a hand through his hair, wet with sweat that was making him chilly now that he had stopped moving. “I’m only afraid that this… you spending so much time around me, I mean. That it may be affecting you in a bad way. But I would never put a condition for you to be around.”

“You don’t GET IT!” The sudden outburst was so jarring that Edmund jumped, the sound that resonated in the tower so strong that a couple of bats flew away. He thought he saw a rat running from one piece of fallen wood to another, further from where the girl was, now staring at him. “You’ll hate me. You’ll see me, and you will hate me.”

Her voice began to crack, near tears forming in her eyes as she lowered her gaze to the filthy floor. “It’s what they did.”

The crying now restarted at full force. Edmund would have felt less distressed about it if it were a full blown sobbing. Instead, she had the silent cry of someone who’d learned how to hide it. He had no idea of what to do as she resumed her previous curled up position. He’d tried asking, ever so gently, who ‘they’ were, but either she didn't hear him over her quiet gasps or she pretended not to. When the crying eventually ceased, he recognized by the rise and fall of her back that she’d fallen asleep.

Which added up considering she was six and the sun was beginning to peak through the half fallen ceiling of the bell tower. They’d been looking for her all night.

Bone deep weary in a way that made him feel decades older than he really was, Edmund very carefully manoeuvred her into his arms, the prayers he’d been sending upwards the entire night finally being heard judging by how she surprisingly didn’t wake up as he did so. Poor creature must have really been exhausted.

Climbing down the ladder with his arms full proved to be tricky, but he had the advantage of being as familiar with bell towers as one could be, and once he managed to reach the staircase it was easy work. Looking down, he saw that not only Kaisa was sitting at the base, but also Terry and another caretaker he hadn’t met before. Their faces were tired from the physical and emotional labour of the night, but there was no small amount of relief in them when they noticed him coming down with the child in his arms.

Kaisa must have somehow contacted them to make them aware of their whereabouts, and though he didn’t know how she could have possibly done so, the most improbable part of it all was that she’d apparently convinced them to wait out until Edmund came back down instead of going to get her right away. He would have to find a way to express his gratitude when this was all over.

The trio had been sitting down, probably having waited longer than Edmund had realised, but stood up as soon as he reached the lower steps. He’d been expected to be yelled at; frankly, it wouldn’t have been underserved. He was probably making these people’s jobs so much harder than it ought to be. Instead, Terry just kept a sombre face as he raised his arms to take Meiri from him.

He missed the weight instantly.

“Thank you, sir.” He said, not coldly, but sounding like he’d been up all night sick with worry. Which he had. “I think it’s best if you don’t see each other again.”

The statement was a knife to his chest. Edmund only barely had the presence of mind to not visibly flinch as turned kept his gaze down, avoiding the bundle on the blond man’s arms. He nodded, his throat feeling unusually tight. It was all the permission the caretakers needed to turn on their heels and head back to Saint Anne’s, taking away from him one of the only things he’d ever been sure he wanted in his life.

#meiridom #fic: fotw #my fic #hilda oc #the bell keeper hilda #meiri #meiri (oc)#the bell keeper fanfic #hilda the series fanfic

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felixantares · 4 months

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fic author interview

thank you for the tag @mirrorofliterature 🥰

How many works do you have on AO3?

technically 3, but one I'm listed as a co-author but I just did the art in it so I don't really feel comfortable counting it. so 2.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

37,317 words and counting!

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well I only have two, so a sign in the midnight sky (297) and my floorplan for Grimmauld Place (24)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!! I try to respond to all the comments I get 💕 they always make my day

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

hahaha well it's not finished yet so I'll skip over this question!

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

like the above, ASITMS isn't finished yet so I don't have an answer haha, but I'll at least say that when it does end it'll probably be more happy than angsty (the angst ends will be for the rest of the series)

7. Do you write a cross-overs?

I haven't but I want to!!!!! I've got a HP Founders fic/Narnia crossover AU thing that's been sitting in my brain for ages and I definitely want to poke at one of these days (but I am trapped by ASITMS for the foreseeable future (i am okay with this i like it here))

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nope! Everyone has been really lovely so far!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not in ASITMS, it's very firmly in it's T rating (and if I do boost its rating later it'll be for some uh. violence. i've got planned 👀) but later in the Shrines series there might be some, if I feel like it. I've never written smut before though so I think I'd be worried about the quality of it haha

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

12. Have you co-written a fic before?

Co-written, no (though I want to! one day!). But @sandervansunshine wrote an absolutely stunning little Jegulus fic based off an art I did and put me down as a co-author on that one! You can read it here

13. What's your all time favourite ship?

oh gosh, I don't know. Like maybe a tie between Drarry and Wolfstar? I go back to drarry a lot, and I think a good chunk of my favourite fics to re-read are drarry

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but think you never will?

ohhhh well I don't know that I'll never finish it, because I do intend to write it one day, but I've got a time travel tomarry sitting in my WIP folder gathering dust, and it'll probably stay there until ASITMS is done at the very least, if not the whole shrines series.

15. What are your writing strengths?

uhhh oh no... probably descriptions? I feel like I'm pretty good with atmospheric stuff and having characters interaction with their environment. Oh and worldbuilding, I do love worldbuilding. 😅

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. The absolute bane of my existence. I don't know how to talk in real life and I definitely don't know how to make a conversation sound normal. (Though I've been told I'm doing a decent job of it, so I guess hours of obsessive editing do pay off lmao)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I mean, I don't mind it in fics (I do appreciate having a translation in the notes though) and if it feels appropriate, I'd definitely put a few lines in my own fic, but I don't think I'd put like... a whole conversation in a different language. If someone's having a conversation in a different language and it's really long I'm more likely to either just say they're talking (if the POV character doesn't understand the language) or write it in English but in italics (if the POV does understand).

18. What's the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter!

19. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I really really want to write a Dungeons & Dragon: Honor Among Thieves fic, for no other reason than I want to flex my forgotten realms knowledge somewhere other than my own campaigns 😂

20. What's your favourite fic that you've written?

Well it's a pretty easy answer when there's only one! a sign in the midnight sky. It's not only because it's my only one though, i'm really proud of the outline that I wrote (50k between two docs). The whole series is massive and honestly a bit of an insane project to take on, but there's so much time and research that went into it, and because it's 5 fics planned out from the very start there are threads I've already started laying down for the last fics and it's stupidly intricate, and I'm very excited to share the rest of it because I worked really hard on it!!!

tagging: @allalrightagain @girl-with-goats @gloivy

#felix talks #bmns(smns)#author interview #tag game

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ttrpgadventurer · 8 months

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So... The Witcher has a TTRPG??

So, The Witcher TTRPG is going on hiatus... which would upset me, if it wasn't for the fact that I only learned about its existence literally 5 years after its announcement. Anyways, unfortunately for The Witcher and TTRPG fans who are aware of the TTRPG's existence, Comic Book announced on the 27th of August, 2023, that the TTRPG's development has been put on hiatus until The Witcher 4 is released. This was first announced at Gen Con 2023, and later also announced via R. Talsorian Games' blog, on the 21st of August. It is a shame, but it is nice to see that unlike the director of the TV series, R. Talsorian Games and CD Projekt Red are actually interested in keeping things lore accurate.

If you're like me, having just learnt about its existence, R. Talsorian does have a quick-start guide or 'Easy Mode', as they put it. You can download it for free via the link on their website, and it's free! If you have the money to spare, there is the Core Rulebook available for $24.99 USD, and the Lords and Lands expansion for $8 USD. If you're more of a visual learner, R Talsorian Games published a playlist of videos explaining the rules and gameplay of the entire system on YouTube. If you'd like to see an actual session being run, you can watch the full 2-hour playthrough that IGN did here.

From a glance at the pregenerated character sheets, and from the first 30 minutes of the Witcher TTRPG playthrough, the system runs pretty similarly to D&D. It's set in a fantasy setting, you've got racial abilities, skills and also something similar to an armour class. The main differences is the dice system (you only need d10s and d6s), the inclusion of the Witcher as a race, the combat system, inclusion of critical wounds and the fumbling system (aka when you roll a nat 1). The inclusion of Critical Wounds definitely makes damage and getting hurt a lot more dangerous, since it's not as simple as getting someone to heal you and moving on with your day. It's a ruthless system, and the creators of the TRPG definitely intended for it be to so. Quite fitting for the Witcher, with how it's advertised as a "dark and dangerous world".

Lorewise, the Witcher TRPG is pretty friendly to people unfamiliar with Witcher, and according to the easy mode guide, the Core Rulebook has a full rundown of the history of the Witcher world. Even someone like me with little to no knowledge of the Witcher understood some of it pretty quickly once the GM for the IGN game gave the rundown of the Witcher world. Of course, I know it's not that simple, and I welcome anyone who's more familiar with Witcher lore to give a more thorough explanation of it.

I guess, putting aside the dumpster fire that the TV series is becoming (Henry Cavill as Geralt will be missed), at least the video games seem to be good? I have to admit, I only started watching the TV series recently and looking up The Witcher's video game series to be caught up on the lore and other specifics of it. I'm just a casual TTRPG fan running a TTRPG blog that's based around finding out about all sorts of TTRPGs aside from D&D. Learning about the TRPG's existence has certainly piqued my interest in the video game lore!

The Witcher 4's development is still pretty under wraps by CD Projekt Red. However, considering how the mainline games have been released about 4 years apart, it should have been released 4 years ago? But delays in production do happen, so I reckon it should be a year or two until 'Project Sirius' is released. While that is happening, I think I'll take the time and catch myself up on the video games series.

#the witcher #the witcher: pen and paper rpg #the witcher ttrpg #the witcher trpg #r talsorian games #ign #tabletop discussions #ttrpgs #tabletop rpgs

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whatdoesshedotothem · 2 years

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Friday 10 November 1837

1 ¾

dull rainy morning F48° at 9 ¼ and breakfast in about ½ hour then stood reading last Quarterly Review ¼ hour till Hinton came in a/c Northgate drains – gave him check for £30. not yet paid in full – longish about Mawson – (mentioned his leaving the Stump X Inn) – Hinton said Nelson found M- so difficult in knowledge of plans and sections when in the Rail office (at Manchester I think it was) that N- declined being in partnership with him M- has .:. connected himself with a mason, Bray, of Bradford who, H- is sure has not brains for the job – a clever but moneyless man (Binns) has taken 4 lenghts (a length seems to be 2 mile) near Darlington – had taken what George Mawson has now got but obliged to give it up because could not get a bandsman – Nelson going to join Binns; and N- sure of his bond – E.C. Lister gives bond for Nelson – H- says M- will have Leadbeater and Nelson to contend with and Leadebater is determined to be the taker (near Wakefield or Rotherham) or will leave a bare job – H- going off to Leadbeater for job under him – has before worked under him 7 years, or 7 years ago – 1 or other – M- seems to have little chance – H- would not have given notice about the Inn till after Monday next when the job is to be let – Messrs. Bates and Pollett waited for me some minutes before H- went away – came to say their estimate for shafting and gearing too high by it seemed about £50 now that the pumps were taken away and the spin wheel left – said I should do nothing more about the worsted mill (the corn mill quite given up) till I had a good tenant in views – it would not answer to lay out £1500 more to the £2000+ for less than £400 a year – things worse now, they said , than last year but hopes of trade again in the spring – 7 good years of trade without a backening considered as much as could be expected – owned mills would not pay under 10 p.c. – had best not cover over the wheel – keep the water out of the wheel race and the wheel well painted and turned round occasionally if not lying dry – for the part in the water would become a heavy side and spoil the motion of the wheel afterwards – (I never thought of this) – get the pipes undercover from rain as soon as possible – asked what I should take for them mentioned an offer per cwt. (did not tell name a price) – could not get at an answer, till I said if I could guess at the weight I could calculate for myself – I thought I ought to have ¼ of the cost – yes! certainly – it afterwards turned out I ought to have £40 for them – I said the man who offered the price said he had made a good offer but I did not like to be bound as to who should do the shafting and gearing

I said each pipe = about 3cwt.

my 80 yards of pipe = 32 pipes x 3 = 96cwt.

at 10/. per cwt. (Engine Holts’ offer) = £43

it seems .:. that P- calculated I ought to have 10/. per cwt. but by no means could I have elicited this directly I said if I did not build a mill I thought of advertising the wheel for sale – B- mentioned the Leeds paper – mercury I suppose he meant –

SH:7/ML/E/20/0158

some talk about steam engines – they thought I should not like the smoke – no! I should drive it into the hill as Mr. Akroyde is doing- B- and P- staid about an hour – asked for a chance if I should build the mill in which case they would reconsider their estimate – have just put up a 30 horse power engine for Mr. Bray (A-s’ late tenant at Water mill) at Lilly mill – Mr. Crossley has 2 rooms there – P- mentioned an improvement in their manner of putting up the iron pillars with a cap and plinth so as to take off all weight from the timbers and entirely support themselves – he mentioned also another improvement 2 moveable square brasses that slip up and down so to keep the shaft at its proper height for the machinery – a little while with A- after B- and P- went – sat with her at luncheon till about 1 – then till 3 10 (in spite of the rain rough day she rode off to Cliff hill about after? 2) writing out memoranda in rough book and wrote the whole of today – Mr. James Bentley about the Landmere stone waited for me 20 minutes – went down to him at 3 ¼ - stood talking till A- came back about 4 – then she and I had him in the little dining room not able to get rid of him till near 5 – I having sent A- off as soon as the material part had been arranged – satisfied to begin at the low corner and be roaded out into the old road under Aspinalls’ new house – Debtor and creditor account to be kept and weekly examined by SW- He seemed to think £5 not enough for his trouble if he did not get (agree for) the stone; so settled that (Captain and Mrs. S- approving) he should have nothing for his trouble if he got the stone and £10 if he did not – he would be glad to buy and pay for immediately £400 or £500 worth of sone – and would be glad to give Mrs. Carter something to quit the farm but we said he should 1st be sure what rent he would have to pay as if the farm belonged to A- and me we should not relet it at the present rent – out at 5 when I left B- still not out of the room – poor fellow! he knew not how to get away – in outbuildings – apparently little done – Edward had doing the blacksmiths’ shop and flagging and beginning the fireplace – 2 or 3 flagging the laundry – Robert Mann and co. not here this afternoon so Robert Sharpe the mason in the cow house stable – to be called farm stable – levelling up ready for paving – Note from Thomas Greenwood to ask if I would see him and Mrs. Crossley at 7 tonight about the Northgate hotel – he had just shewn her over all the buildings and thought her a proper person for the hotel – just tore off a bit of the note and wrote back in pencil ‘Mrs. Lister will be happy to see Mrs. Crossley this evening at half past seven – Friday 10 November 1837’ directed to ‘Mr. Greenwood’ – did not know till A- read the note that G- was coming himself – came upstairs at 6 5 and wrote the last 19 lines – dressed – dinner at 6 ¾ - Mr. TG. and Mrs. Crossley arrived at 7 55 and staid till 9 ¾ - Mrs. C- seems a good sort of managing 2nd rate person, the tenant of necessity? her husband had taken medicine was afraid of taking cold and had staid home but she (she said) had all the talk! G- praised her and she praised herself – to judge from what I heard and sat I should suppose Mrs. C- cook and housekeeper, her husband bar-man and waiter, and the nephew head ostler – but G- said they were all very fit for the hotel and Mr. Adam said they were the only people in H-x fit for it – From her talk, I should think they would indeed creep, as Mr. Parker observed in making the hotel what it ought to be, P- adding to Mr. Harper that Carr would make it at once – Mrs. Crossley proposed having the hotel for 7 years – the 2 first for nothing the 5 last for £300 a year! answer I should not give a lease for more than 5 years nor let the place rent free for more than one year, even if, on consideration, I consented to this – G- thought this very fair – on my part – I then adverted to the end of the 5 years what was I to expect? Mrs. C- thought the hotel might bear a small advance – I said I should be sorry for them to think then that they had made the house and I had taken undue advantage and raised the rent too much – after considerable talk (helped by G-) she agreed that rent would be nothing if there was a good trade – that the Inn might be advanced a hundred a year – I said then at the end of 5 years this capital hotel would just be worth what Mr. Carr pays for his inconvenient promises at present! hinted that I should have C-, had he applied to me, as much now, as he paid at present – and said I should think of raising the rent at the 5 years’ end to £500 a year but should wish to be guided by the value of the hotel – Mrs. C- at last made no objection to this – I had said I could let the tap – it was worth £100 a year –no! she said not so much and added they only paid £70 per annum for their present house (the Golden lion George street) – she would keep the tap – and would rather not make any offer to Mr. Carr – but if he made any to her (the poor husband Crossley always invalided and unreferred to) she would do the best she could for him – she let slip that she had by and by see what they should want – meaning what they should occupy and what let off – I took no apparent notice of this, but thought this system of parts and parcels not very promising – I inquired if the casino would need being so painted as I had thought of – (it would be throwing pearls etc. etc. ?) yes! on that she seemed to have set her heart – she had lived with a Mr. Allett near Doncaster – her husband not butler but valet (the t pronounced) but tho’ they had a full establishment (8 servants) yet when they had company Mr. C- went into the cellar with his master, and took care of the wine – the poor womans’ speech and manner and self-praise (‘tho she should not say it’) all betokened the 2nd rate or 3rd that no idea but that of a pot-house and suggested it to my mind – and I afterwards told A- it would be ‘the Pot-house hotel’ – G- mentioned the 3 yards breadth of ground the town wanted to widen the street – and talked of a guinea a year – I said I thought it ought to be worth as much as the ground town bought of G- in Northgate – G- seemed not at all of my opinion and I merely said things had best remain as they were – the street was wide enough for the present – G- mentioned their getting an act for cattle market and Green grocery ditto – I merely answered I thought had best get an act for the new road from Keighley – it was settled that I should think about the terms (1 year rent free and 4 at £300 per annum) and give an answer in a fortnight – tea at 10 in the north parlour and A- and I sat talking till after one till 1 5 – Rainy windy rough day

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thetruthaboutnolan · 5 months

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SHORT Q&A

Since I have enough asking in the last couple of hours here is another short one. And hello again to my stalkers. According to the algorithm 90% of you aren’t following my blog, change that today by hitting the follow button, leave a like, and subscribe. 😘

DID YOU CHANGE YOUR INFO?

Duh I said I was going to changing it in a couple of weeks a couple of weeks ago. I know I know I know. It’s impossible to change the ‘personal info’ you put in all your bios and person info sections on all these websites. It’s also impossible to use someone else’s email who gives you express permission to do so, it’s so unheard of especially when you say that’s what you are going to and people let you do. Just can’t change that damned TikTok name since they have that 30 days rule *snaps fingers*

I know that’s what goes on in Stalker #8’s mind everytime they submit ‘I can verify that’s their …..’ to Stalker #9. As if that pattern wasn’t predictable from Stalkers#7 and #6 that tried this back in 2020. I would have asked someone named Jacob just to complete the triad but figured that would have been a little on the nose.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THE POSTS ON YOU AND THE OTHERS?

I only read the posts of that person obsessed with that shadow hunter and that treasure trove of an accountability blog that my lawyer was basically drooling at. I guess I would be to. After all, straight up made up crap with zero supporting evidence is a lawyer’s wet dream.

Other than that naw. I only interacted with the stalkers from 2020 and bothered keeping track of them. That was when my knowledge of how they think got cemented. I don’t have to acknowledge them and read their blogs. I just have to block them and post ANYTHING and they will go off and give me everything I need. They’re get mad senpai isn’t paying attention and take any little thing you do as a sign I do pay attention to them. Although they advice legally to either block a stalker for piece of mind and if they don’t contact you directly anyway, or don’t block if they send you direct messages. These people are to yellow lantern to do the latter so the former it is. So just let them give you prize real estate in their mind and be their sole reason to live and only think of that situation when you need to be reminded that you are ‘that bitch’. Seriously whenever I let anything start to get me down I remember I have stalkers on tumblr and remember I’m that powerful bitch and instantly feel better about myself again.

Besides, I got people that come to me with a screenshot of posts or DMs or messages on discord servers so I really don’t have to bother when people bring them to me. Some wanna help, others want to be active move parts in taking down these people and some are just trolls that wanna see the world burn and all are helpful and welcomed.

ARE YOU ON ANY ACTIVE GROUPS?

Other than the two I made and have been running since 2021, I staff on two groups now and I’m in two others all on tumblr. Save one which is a discord group, figured I’d give them a shot. My work got switched to more remote work so I’ve dedicated half the extra time to chilling with my friends and starting to think I might move Sequence back to jcink. You know, my abilities roleplay that I stole everything from other groups that came into existence at least 2 years AFTER the original Sequence group on jcink was made? Yeah that one. But we’ll see. I’d love to come up a new skin and everything. But at the same time I’ve restructured the discord OOC into something that could be its own group server complete with a shop bit and everything. Saves me a lot of time not needing to code anything and I can easily pre ban certain crazies.

Other than those I am coding a couple of skins for people for their jcink roleplays that I might join. It’s been 10 years since I was last on a jcink group though so we’ll see.

One of the trolls did find one of the groups I was in though but indirectly. Someone was using a face claim I haven’t used in 8 years then checked the OOC list. Don’t know if they revealed the group though since shortly after they sent me a ‘find you’ message they sent another showing me Stalker #9’s deranged post. Just saved the screenshot in one of my portable hard drives and went back to posting with my character.

WHY DO THEY PANIC PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY SIDING WITH YOU AND PRETEND NO ONE IS LISTENING?

It’s whatever suits their narrative at the time. These people were convinced that just because they run an RPT blog and follow/befriend people who think and act the same way they do believes something they do then it has to be the opinion of ‘everyone’. It’s a common tactic of the narcissist to reinforce their version of reality to only surround themselves with people that will make an echo chamber for them. Even they know that saying it’s impossible for someone to ‘suddenly’ change their pronouns is transphobic. Even they know making fun of someone’s English when it’s a second language is racist. Even they know pretending to be someone’s dead friend is disgusting. Even they know revealing what they think is someone’s real info is doxxing. Even they know stealing photos from family members facebooks and claiming (rather a lie or not) to be stalking the house of said family member is psychotic. But they have been told it’s ok so long as it’s against this person who is ‘all these things’ they made up in their head. They even know what they think that person is according to them is made up especially since even they have no evidence to back these claims it’s just something someone sometime ago said and it helps justify the behavior.

Every now and again it breaks through to them that ‘oh shit, I may be going to far, this person is still allowed on groups and has friends in the community still. Maybe not everyone is believing me.’ Then they freak out for a while. Then it’s right back to ‘well everyone I talk to who thinks like I do and says what I say keep saying I’m right so everyone must agree’.

Funny thing is, they don’t realize that the currently 20 conversations on this accounts DMs about half of them come from people that had been supporting them then stopped and/or deleted their own posts about me who are telling me actually what they are saying and doing along with others. Hell, they amounts of ‘I’m so sorry it’s gotten to this stage’ type DMs I’m getting even from those that claim to hate my guts (for no reason and from people I’ve never heard of I might add) is shocking.

WHAT ABOUT THAT DRAMA WITH THAT PEDOPHILE STALKER?

No clue I don’t follow it. All I know is the pedo leaked the info on that guys’ real name like they did in the past when trying to get him to have sex with them. Then she sicced her friend on him since she couldn’t be caught engaging anymore since it was getting out she was stalking, bullying, and attacking him just to play the victim and how that has happened for years. And to think, it all started over the pedo wanting to ship their north star character with someone’s colossus on an x-men evolutions RP haha.

Now he did give me a small thing to put so I’ll put it here:

Basically, they decided to switch who is coming at me especially since it was realized that the JCC team supported pedophiles so long as they were being pedophiles on their server. RPGD’s admin hasn’t been fully exposed yet but even before I started to talk to them there where quite a few people gathering evidence against her for support pedophiles an other problematic people provided it benefits her.

As for that jaded person, her name says it all doesn’t it? Just plain jaded. But I honestly just ignore them now. I mean, there are only so many times someone can contradict themselves and change their story with their whole chest out and look like a complete dumb ass. Let’s just see how many times they did so.

1) was it not her who said ‘their friend’ never joined any site of mine?

2) was it not them that said later that they did join a few but I instantly started to bully her?

3) was it not them who tried to say she never interact with me or joined sites I was on but heard all about me?

4) was it not her who said we had been on the same sites but never interacted?

5) wasn’t it not her who said we had interacted only after I stated I didn’t know them?

6) was it not them who tried claiming their friend never blackmailed me or tried to groom me but I was doing that to the friend?

7) was it not them who later said oh it wasn’t their friend but someone named holly or something that I’m confusing for their friend?

8) was it not them that later said I admitted to them that it was someone named Hannah?

9) was it not them who said we never talked and it was another friend that told them I mentioned a Hannah.

10) was it not them who faked an entire convo with someone claiming to be from the RPGD staff around the time I was a kid and going through all this?” Claiming it was the early 2000s?

11) was it not them that also said it was later the early 2010s after it was revealed the person they ‘spoke to’ was only staff during that time.

12) is this not the same person that acknowledge their friend was playing northstar and they know their friend. Along with their being insane amounts of evidence this friend was obsessed with northstar.

13) are they not the same person who later claims their friend was well known to playing colossus and shipping only with their GF when they didn’t have a GF during the time I knew them and again, northstar is the character the friend is known for playing. She even still has Johnathan meters art for him up.

14) is she not the same person who heard someone she thinks is me is engaged and suddenly she’s engaged? While I’m also very vocal on being happy single?

15) is this not the same person who has fourteen contradictory statements I could think of off the top of my head claiming there are so many contradictions from me despite how my story has never once changed?

16) is this not the same person that can see that my thread on RPGD is still up that talks about an admin making racist comments to me regarding a face claim. Her friend’s post is up where she defends herself saying some member didn’t like they had to have a face claim change. Then in the comments and another thread states how she did t say anything racist, oh no she just didn’t know it was racist and will do better?

17) isn’t she now claiming the racism thing is a new claim despite those threads being almost 2 years old?

She’s pissy because she’s consistently falling into every trap set for her. Each one specifically set for her as it’s known she will change her story completely if something is happens. I mean girl I get it, I’m your ‘real’ fiancée and you either wanna be me or wear my skin but seriously, get some help. You can only spin a story so many times before getting tangled in your own webs. Oh and account sharing isn’t new. It was done specifically to put us where we are now and all the people that have been show had deranged you and our friend are. And protect my actual accounts. My real info was already doxxed years ago so seeing ya’ll go psycho with it now is only helping in many many ways and great for documentation.

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madewithonerib · 10 months

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3.] Don't Give Up

Now v.9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest of righteousness. [7:55]

If we do not give up!

How many of you have read that verse before at the end or had somebody pray that over you or encourage you with that?

It's beautiful, but what's easy to forget is usually —when I read that or when people pray that over me, or you say that to me..

it's applied to a hard season in life like hey don't grow weary doing good stay at it. As a mom/dad, or in your job or in your Church or whatever — and that's wonderful

But actually, here it's applied by Paul not to a hard season in life—but to your ongoing fight with your flesh, don't grow weary! Don't give up in the fight

• Don't surrender • Don't throw in the towel & say it's too hard • Don't say it's too much work • Don't think the odds are against me

Like no never give up! Never surrender!! Its that kind of a call right? [8:51]

I'm not gonna do Gary Oldman at all, by the way —if you missed that, it's incredible but we digress

The seven is always a mess up here, I'm so sorry the 10 was fine. He's saying don't give up in your fight against the flesh—for at the proper time it will give you a harvest of righteousness.

If we do not give up..

3.1] Return on Investment

Now this idea that a man or a woman reaps what s/he sows—outside of the Bible is called the law of returns & there are other non-Christian idea again.

This is just a human condition, idea there are other ways to state it:

• What goes around comes around • Like FATHER like son, • You get out what you put in • You get what you deserve • No pain, no gain • Garbage in, garbage out [Karma]

The way JESUS said it was quote:

Give & it will be given to you, and then HE said pressed down shaken together

In another spot HE said, "With the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." And more unquote, the idea of the law of returns is very simple & has two parts.

Every action has a reaction.

This is literally a law of thermodynamics, it's just a reality of the human condition, & to that reaction is often disproportionate to the action.

Now Paul says it to an Agrarian Economy with the word picture of sowing & reaping. Any gardeners in the room? Southeast people? Anything yes!

You know who you are! You know what Paul is talking about.

Very simple two ideas:

[1] Plant a rose seed & you get what? A rose [2] Sow poison ivy & you get what? A noxious weed

And to sow a seed, & in time you get what a little black dot? No, you get a rosebush back, or a hedge of ivy, or a tree; or in Paul's metaphor a harvest!

[or an entire field back in return]

if Paul were writing to our knowledge economy, my guess is he would have said it with the word picture of compound interest.

The miracle of the market! I have this vivid memory from when I was in my early 20's & we had planted our Church & prior to that—I was a youth pastor.

I made minimum wage, I wasn't even a salary, it was like I would turn in a timecard at the end of the week & I think the minimum wage was like seven bucks an hour or something unjust at the time.

And we plant this Church & it was just like a few hundred bucks a month with no health insurance for at this first six months to twelve months.

I can't even remember & finally we're up & running; and you guys start to give & so the elders sit me down & give me my first ever salary. [11:42]

I'm 23 years old & it wasn't much, but it was like okay I'm salaried now—actually it's a big moment in my life & one of our elders was this financial guru.

He ran an investment company.

You would never have known it, he has lived a very simple lifestyle—was very generous, but was a bit of a wizard with money & had been very good with his finances & he sat me down to give me basically free financial planning.

And I remember when he sat me down & he worked out—all right here's how much you need to retire & he said our retirement age for you is 2045.

Here's how much money you need in order to have residual income of 70% of what you make now.

Which means here's how much you have to invest every single month in order to like not live off of your children when you are in your 70s or whatever.

I remember sitting with him & if you've ever sat with a financial planner—some of you that are out in your career now, you remember this moment.

They show you compound interest in a graph what it actually looks like for your life & this is crazy if you've ever seen that graph.

Some of you it's like what a concept!

There's this thing if you look at retirement investment for the first couple decades of your career it does this [plateau] it remains flat for three decades, it goes up a little bit, in the 40s it goes up a little bit & then all set in your 50s—you just become Bill Gates like 10 years!

It's just at the very end. [13:15]

Compound interest, it's like the same as a population growth around the world or whatever—for a long time and then all of a sudden, the miracle of compounding interest! It just goes like this [exponential]

And I remember him sitting down with me & saying listen it's not about how much money you invest, it's about how early you start & he had some crazy stat.

But you had some crazy stat like you're 23 & if you put in $200/month starting now, you'll have twice as much in retirement, as if you were to put in $2,000 a month when your start when you're 43.

I have no idea if that math is right, something like that—Doug down here knows something, he was one of our elders at the time.

This dramatic number I remember thinking wow & to this day I don't think about it much—but maybe once a year, it comes to mind & I log into my little investment portfolio & I see what I have & it's been 15 years now & there's not much there..

But it's not a retirement, but maybe a really nice vacation. But I don't stress because I've been really good with my money & I put it all the way

I know that's coming right

Now honestly on a serious note—because this is the miracle of compound interest, which is not only a financial reality.

Listen carefully, here's where I tell you that story it is a life reality — theologian Cornelius Plantinga, in his masterpiece of a book on sin

which we have out there on a recommended reading writes this:

No matter what we sell money or otherwise, the law of returns applies good or evil; love, or hate; justice or tyranny; grapes or thorns; a gracious compliment or a peevish complaint whatever we invest—we tend to get it back with interest.

• Lovers are loved • Haters hated • Forgivers usually get forgiven • Those who live by the sword die by the sword

GOD is not mocked, for you reap whatever you sell —again followers of JESUS, or Buddhist, or agnostic, or whatever

It does not matter, this is just how things are in the universe—trying to get around this, is like trying to get around the law of gravity!

All that to say [and stay with me here] Paul applies this idea of the law of returns—not to your retirement nest egg—to make a case for why you're to invest in your 20s

He applies this law of return to your spiritual formation & to mine—if that language is new to you, all we mean by that is the process by which we are formed from our SPIRIT, from our inside out.

To become a very specific kind of person, for better or for worse—let's flesh this out, everytime we quote “sow to our flesh” in Paul's language.

Put another way, every time we give in to our flesh & its desire to sin, we plant something in the soil of our heart that then begins to take root, grow, & eventually to yield a character & vice versa.

• Every time we sow to the SPIRIT, • Every time we give into the SPIRIT's impulse in us toward love & JESUS definition of life in the Kingdom we plant something in the soil of our hearts & then it begins to take root and grow & in the end to yield a character [17:08]

Again Plantinga goes on:

Inside a given human life, the dynamics of sowing, reaping, & resowing lie behind the process of character formation..

Dispositions & acts [by dispositions means the way you think & feel & kind of move through the universe & acts your habits, decisions you make] form your character which then forms dispositions & acts.

You see there's a cycle.

A mere state of mind can eventually swell to become a person's destiny [Ex negativity we'll use that as an example in a minute]

A fuller statement of the great law returns would therefore go something like this: [1] sow a thought & reap a deed [2] sow a deed & reap another deed [3] sow some deeds, reap a habit. [4] sow some habits, reap a character [5] sow a character, reap some thoughts [6] New thoughts then begin to pursue careers of their own..

All of you in the mood to do that & reap a habit?

Meaning the cycle begins to feed off its own energy & either spiral out of control into disaster—what he calls destruction or culminates in CHRIST's likeness

The law of returns is the mechanism of our spiritual formation—it is how we are either formed from our SPIRIT out to become more like JESUS.

And in doing so, utterly ourself, or malformed by the world, the flesh, & the devil—to become less ourself & to fit the status quo of our society.

Slavery of Freedom E1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 | John Mark Comer [Galatians 6:1-18]

youtube

#Return on Investment #Don't Give Up #Slavery of Freedom #Galatians 6 #Cornelius Plantinga #spiritual formation #habit #character #thoughts #careers

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lixxen · 2 years

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I Bet My Life (H.G Wells x Male!Reader)

H.G Wells x Male! Reader

So uh, hiya. This is for Time After Time. I haven't finished it yet, but I'm on episode 8 or 9. So uh, yeah, the ending is based off of what I wish would happen. I also chose the first H.G gif I found lol. So, sorry guys. That's the gif you get. Also didn't beta/edit this. rip

Sorry lads that its Male!Reader, I simply cannot function outside of my little gay pea brain sometimes. Yes this is based off of an Imagine Dragons song, shut up.

Anyways, I wrote this 3k word monstrosity in about an hour and a half based off of an idea I pitched to another writer.

For @neptuneswritingwork

Warnings: Angst, anxiety attacks(?)

It was late at night in the Wells’ Estate.

It wasn’t uncommon for H.G to call many people to his home at this time, but tonight felt different. It was raining and it had set a mood for the den. The friends inside were chatting quietly amongst each other, talking about their respective academics and news.

Watching from the side of the room was a single person, a male who was barely dressed for the occasion. Ever so slightly overdressed, as he never understood how to dress for this class and function. It took him years of interacting with H.G to gain the knowledge to interact with H.G’s colleagues.

The man brought his glass of some type of expensive whiskey to his mouth and took a long sip. The taste burned his tongue and the liquid lit his throat on fire as it went down. It felt almost as if the liquid had a distaste for him like most of the folks in the room. The man sighed as he sat the glass onto the fire mantle next to him.

The man loved H.G to death, but he never understood why H.G had the need to invite him to these parties. Only a few of H.G’s friends genuinely liked the man and got along with him. H.G always complained that the man wasn’t social enough and needed to get along with his friends. The man never openly disagreed, but he wished that H.G wouldn’t at least abandon him during these gatherings.

A soft knock at the door drew the man’s thoughts away from the party. He walked out of the small den and into the foyer. He waved the housekeep away with a small motion and a smile before he opened the door.

Behind the door stood Dr. John Stevenson; one of the only friends of H.G that genuinely enjoyed his presence.

“Y/n. I’m surprised to see you here.” John’s mouth turned from a straight expression to a genuine smile as he walked in. John put his hand on Y/n’s forearm and squeezed it lightly.

“Same for you, Dr. Stevenson. You’re late as always.” Y/n smiled back at John as he had sat his bad next to the door.

“Well, it is better late than not to show up.” John patted Y/n’s arm after he let him go.

Y/n shook his head and followed John towards the den, where H.G had rejoined the group once more. H.G’s face looked slightly strained as he was talking to Jamenson, but the second his eyes found Y/n his face relaxed. H.G then looked at John and laughed.

“Look who showed up!” H.G stood up and clapped once. “You’re soaking, John!”

“I am not that soaked, H.G.” John shook his head as H.G walked over to John and Y/n.

H.G stood close to Y/n, close enough where their arms brushed each other. Just enough for Y/n to be able to feel him.

“I’m guessing Y/n let you in?” H.G tilted his head towards Y/n but kept looking at John.

“Of course. He was delightful as always. I understand why you have him around all the time, H.G.” John spoke with a genuine smile that made Y/n happy. The other men in the room didn’t seem to agree with their expressions, but they did not say anything. “My friend, you were talking to me about your machine last night. Would you be so kind as to show me?”

H.G grinned at the mention of his time machine, which he and Y/n had been fussing over for the last few months. H.G would work on it for nights upon nights and Y/n would have to come to the basement to drag the man back into the real world. Y/n didn’t know if it would work or not. The science was there, but it was untested. It could all just be a dream that would be shattered the second they tested it.

“I would love to see your machine, Wells.” Jamenson stood up, prompting the other men to nod in agreement.

“Well, come along and I will show you.” H.G waved them along with him.

The group followed H.G down to his basement and H.G explained the machine to the lot of them. How the machine should work, the key that controlled the machine. The theoretics of it. Everything that Y/n had memorized by now.

A few of the men made jokes before heading back up; leaving John, H.G and Y/n in the basement. Y/n watched as John’s expression became odd. He had never seen John’s expression twist in such a way, especially when John thought no one was looking.

When John asked H.G what was stopping him from trying it, Y/n had felt an odd feeling in his stomach. Something was wrong and Y/n didn’t know how to explain it. He had felt this before, but not around John or H.G. It was odd and Y/n hated it.

The two men laughed at whatever they were saying and it snapped Y/n out of his thoughts. H.G and Y/n made eye contact and Y/n smiled at H.G. The three started to walk up the stairs together. Y/n could feel H.G’s hand on his back as they walked up. The small contact was all they could share while the other men were here. John knew of their activities behind closed doors, but he never spoke of them with them. Y/n knew that John knew, especially with the small looks that John gave to the two of them when they had thought no one was looking. Y/n always caught them and smiled back.

The three made it to the top of the stairs as the knock on the door came. H.G voiced how odd it was that someone would be knocking his late as he went towards the door. Y/n stepped a few feet away from the basement and John, stopping only when Scotland Yard stepped through the door. They had announced The Ripper had struck again and were doing searches.

Y/n bit his lip, feeling remorse for the woman who must have died merely hours ago. Y/n turned to say something to John but stopped as he opened his mouth. John was gone and the door was cracked. Y/n glanced around before turning back to the police. They had John’s bag and were opening it.

Y/n felt his heart skip a beat as the police showed a bloody knife.

H.G turned to Y/n and the basement door.

“Where’s John?” H.G asked.

“I don’t know. He just disappeared.” Y/n felt fear crawling over his skin. He had been close friends with The Ripper this whole time. He invited The Ripper into his own home and had dinner with him in intimate quarters.

H.G pushed past Y/n as the room erupted into chaos. Y/n turned to watch H.G disappear down into the basement. It didn’t click for a second as people around him were yelling. Them calling John’s name and H.G’s name filled his ears. Then it clicked.

The time machine.

Y/n lurched forward before he started to walk back down into the basement. Y/n took the steps two at a time, hoping that he would get down quick enough. Within a few seconds, he found out he wasn’t quick enough.

Y/n stopped at the bottom of the stairs, looking at the time machine. It was whirring away and slowly freezing over just like H.G had predicted. Within the machine sat H.G, who was looking back at him.

“NO!” Y/n lurched forward again, holding a hand out.

H.G yelled something that Y/n couldn’t hear. Y/n just saw H.G speaking from the other side of the glass before the frost covered it. Y/n made it a few steps towards the machine before it disappeared with a small blast. Y/n fell backwards, onto the ground, as it hit him.

Y/n sat on the ground, eyes wide.

Y/n blinked at the empty space in front of him before reality slowly crept in. Panic started to climb through his lungs, burning up his throat as it slowly closed. Y/n’s eyes started to tear up as he moved to sit on his knees.

“H.G…” Y/n whispered it and it came out broken. “Please don’t be gone.”

Y/n looked around the room and wiped his eyes.

The time machine was really gone. H.G and assumingly John was also gone. This means that it worked.

It worked.

That means that H.G and John were gone.

“NO!” Y/n screamed into the room. His voice cracked towards the end and he slammed his fists onto the ground.

What if they didn’t come back? What if H.G gets stuck in the future and cannot come back. What if the machine breaks and he cannot come back? What if H.G gets killed or captured? Forever stuck in the future against his will?

What if H.G decides he wants to stay in the future and not come back? Abandoning him in the past for him to pay for everything that they had created up to now. He could fall in love with some man or woman wherever he went and not want to leave them in the future; abandoning them like he had just done to Y/n.

Y/n’s eyes stung as his thoughts went wild. The different possibilities cemented their way into Y/n’s brain as he started to sob on the concrete floor. He couldn’t handle the idea that H.G would simply leave him in 1893 and not come home automatically, with or without John.

Hands came to Y/n’s arms and Y/n tried to push them off. He blinked as the tears kept blocking his view and he raised a hand to wipe his tears. He kept pushing the person off as they tried to help him get to his feet, which he started to stand on his own after a moment.

Y/n turned to see Mrs. Nelson, the housekeeper, trying to grab onto his arm as Scotland Yard stood on the stairs. The policemen were staring at him in confusion while the other guests were in shock. The guests then looked to Y/n, who was now holding back more tears.

“It worked.” Jamenson spoke up first. “Bloody hell.”

“What worked?” One of the policemen asked.

“The bloody time machine.” Another man spoke up. “John must have taken it first. Bloody maniac.”

Mrs. Nelson slowly brought Y/n up the stairs and the men moved out of the way.

“What’s his problem?” One of the policemen whispered just loud enough for Y/n to hear once they got to the top of the stairs.

“He, Wells, and Stevenson were good friends; he was closer to them than we ever were. If Stevenson is in fact The Ripper and if Wells and Stevenson are gone, his only form of family is gone.” One of the men responded.

“The poor man.”

Y/n stared blankly at the fireplace as Mrs. Nelson moved around the room.

It was day four, Y/n believed. He hasn’t been keeping track.

But H.G and John hadn’t come home yet.

Y/n hadn’t felt this way in years. Not since his late parents passed. Not since his wife had left him for another man. Not since his child hadn’t made it to birth. This was a cold feeling that made his fingertips numb. It spread slowly from his fingers and up into his elbows. It made him feel stiff and fake. Like nothing would be able to break his trance and bring life back into him.

Not even the warm tea that Mrs. Nelson would slowly put into his hands and slowly guide the first sip. Not the warm stew she prepared for him every night.

Only H.G coming back, maybe even with John, could fix the hollow and cold feeling that had come to occupy him.

Oh, how Y/n missed H.G dearly.

Y/n would never admit it out loud, but ever since H.G had taken Y/n into his arms and home he had been the happiest he had ever been. H.G had invited Y/n to stay with him for a bit while he was sorting out what to do with his life. Then it slowly turned from getting his life together to something else. It first started with small fleeting touches, the brushing of hands and quickly removing them once noticed. The touches soon came to be welcomed and invited. Then it slowly turned into finding each other’s rooms at night or finding H.G in the basement working on the time machine. Then it turned into small kisses and tender holdings. All things that couples would do.

Y/n sniffled as he thought it over.

This wouldn’t be the first time that H.G had disappeared from his life suddenly. But that was before they had come to this relationship. The two had gotten into an argument over the machine. H.G had come back two days later and apologized.

After that, the two had become an item unintentionally and had come this far. It was unfair that H.G had left him in 1893. Y/n knew that H.G had left in a hurry, but he should have brought Y/n with him.

Y/n didn’t want to be alone.

Y/n didn’t want to lose H.G.

Y/n didn’t know what the date was.

Mrs. Nelson had let guests come and go. Some of the men that were there that night came to tell Y/n that Stevenson’s name had been cleared. They simply believed that John couldn’t have done this. It simply didn’t add up to them.

Y/n hadn’t cared. He didn’t speak or look at them as they spoke. He just stared at the fire as it crackled. The heat against his face was barely keeping him awake and sane. The men gave up after trying to convince him to go, saying that H.G will either never come back or will come back eventually.

Still, he did not move.

Not until today.

There was a creak in the floor boards then a dull thud from below. Y/n blinked and slowly turned his head when he felt the thud. He looked down at the ground as he slowly frowned. It then clicked what it must be.

Pushing himself up, Y/n could feel every muscle in his body ache and burn from the lack of use. His body felt like it was on fire and being pierced by a million syringes. He stumbled to his feet, tripping over himself and catching himself on the coffee table. He groaned silently as he pushed himself up once again.

Ignoring the pain in his legs, Y/n ran towards the basement door. As he opened it, he could hear two voices from the bottom of the stairs.

H.G and John.

Y/n stumbled down the stairs, almost tripping over himself multiple times as he could see John and H.G standing in front of the time machine. Y/n stopped at the foot of the stairs to stare at the two. H.G’s eyes widened as they stared at each other.

Anger and happiness bubbled up from his stomach, filling him in a violent concoction of emotions. It felt like his soul had finally returned to his body and he was breathing after drowning.

“H.G.” Y/n teared up and stumbled towards H.G, who was finally grinning at him.

“Y/n!” H.G held out his arms and caught Y/n in his arms. “I am so sorry, my love.”

Y/n started to cry, hiccuping as he leaned into H.G’s arms.

H.G was real. He was solid and warm. H.G was ever so slightly shaking as he held Y/n close to him. Y/n was gripping onto the back of his jacket. The jacket smelled weird and oddly like lavender. Y/n felt H.G’s hands petting his head as he whispered sweet things into his ear. H.G pressed his lips into the side of Y/n’s head.

Y/n looked up to H.G, whose hands slowly slid to hold Y/n’s cheeks in his palms.

H.G had small cuts across his face and looked like he had seen hell. His face was also clean shaven, which was very odd to see. But it was still the same H.G.

“Why would you leave me?” Y/n hiccuped. H.G brushed a tear from Y/n’s cheek and shook his head. “I thought you wouldn’t come back for me.”

“Please forgive me for all I've done, my love.” H.G’s voice was quiet and soft. He had a saddened look on his face. “I didn't mean to leave you like this. I had ran after John in a split second decision and missed you every single second I was away. I would never leave you for anything, my love.”

Y/n’s body shook as a small laugh bubbled up. H.G gave Y/n a small smile.

“You wouldn’t?” Y/n tried to blink away the rest of his tears.

“Never, my love. I will always come back for you.” H.G kissed Y/n’s nose. “I would bet my life for you, my love. Anything to see you again.”

H.G pressed his forehead to Y/n’s and Y/n closed his eyes. He couldn’t be happier that H.G was back and wouldn’t leave him.

“I love you, H.G.” Y/n whispered and opened his eyes again.

H.G looked Y/n in the eyes and smiled before kissing Y/n.

“I love you too.”

#h.g. wells #h.g wells x reader #h.g wells x male reader #time after time #h.g wells time after time #x reader #freddie stroma #adrian chase #x male reader #male reader #time after time h.g wells #vigilante #fanfic

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aderiex · 3 years

Text

Aaron Hotchner x Reader (Jealousy)

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, oral, coarse language.

Summary: The team goes to DC for a case but Hotch can’t seem to take his eyes off of you. After an incident at a bar, he gets jealous and realizes he wants you.

Everyone all sat on the plane to D.C. They were working a case of younger women abducted from clubs and bars. The Unsub was torturing and killing his victims. Washington PD said the abductions go back a few weeks, 8 bodies had just showed up, half buried in the ground. You sat next to Dr. Reid like you normally do; you two had become close when you had first joined the Bureau and you have become inseparable ever since. He was sitting with the file propped open in his lap and you were leaning over his shoulder to get a better look at the crime scene photos. “So, we have 8 dead women in 3 weeks. The coroner said they had all been dead about a week when they found the bodies.” JJ explained, “So he was keeping them for a while.” Morgan concluded. Emily sighed and looked over to you, it was hard for the women to do cases like this knowing the victimology, they were within the killer’s preference. Reid put a supportive hand on your back and offered you a warm smile, you smiled back and tuned in to what Hotch was saying. He was talking about what our next moves were when you landed. “JJ and Reid, I need you in the precinct, looking over all the evidence, get our team somewhere to set up. Morgan, Prentiss, and Rossi will interview the families of the victims.” You watched his hesitated eyes looking around the plane when they finally met yours, his gaze softened a bit. “Me and y/n are going to go have a look at the crime scene.” He finished. Everyone agreed and the pilot’s voice came over the speakers, telling the team they were coming in for landing.

As soon as you were on the ground, you were being transported into SUV’s and on your separate paths to do the assigned jobs. It was just you and Hotch in the car, he was driving, and you rode shotgun, with a map splayed out on your lap with all the last known locations of the girls and then the dumpsite. Hotch tried to make some small talk, but it was mostly silent for the duration of the car ride. You pulled up to the dumpsite to see state police around, police tape up to keep civilians out. You put on your rubber gloves, and stepped out of the car, joining up on Hotch’s side as you both approached the scene. The state police chief came up to you and shook both of your hands, introducing himself. He explained basic knowledge of the crimes, which you had already read about, but still listened intently to his words. You and Hotch walked over and inspected the dead bodes. Him checking their pockets and looking at how they were placed, you still looking through the files, trying to identify each girl.

After a few hours spent at the crime scene, you and Hotch decided to rejoin the rest of the team back at the precinct. The drive back less quiet, mostly just filled with work discussion and quick phone calls to Reid and Garcia, but still something. Back at the precinct, Reid and JJ had all the crime scene photos laid out on the big conference table, along with all the evidence. You and Hotch joined them at the table, Reid joining up on your side. Looking down, at the file in your hands and matching it with the last known location of the girls. “They were all last seen at a bar or club…” Morgan mused, “Hey babygirl,” He said, getting on the phone with Garcia. “I need a list of all the bars and clubs that are in a 10-mile radius of the dump site.” Garcia chuckled, “Already on it big boy, I’m sending them over to you right now.” The list popped up, about 7 bars and clubs. “2 of them closed due to renovations and aren’t due to open for the next month.” Garcia added, “Ok so that makes 5. We should split up and hit the bars tonight. Morgan, you take the one uptown on 5th. Reid, I want you and Prentiss in the one on Main. Rossi and JJ will take the one on the far side of town. Me and y/n will take the one on 22nd.” Hotch gave everyone roles, “That leaves one, the one on 33rd.” JJ brought up, Hotch nodded and turned to the state police chief, “I want you and a partner there tonight.” Hotch said, in a serious tone. The man nodded and everyone went to get changed into more casual clothing, as to not seem too suspicious to the unsub. You all were told to tuck your guns behind your waistband, and you kept your badge and cuffs on a belt loop you kept hidden underneath your shirt.

You and Hotch headed for the bar, this was the one time he wasn’t dressed formally, he wore a simple grey button up and jeans, he looked good. You both sat in the car, driving in the dark, the quiet was comforting. Hotch looked over to you multiple times during the drive, just quick glances, not long enough for you to make eye contact with him. You pulled up to the bar, it looked busy, the parking lot was full and there was a steady stream of people going in and out. Hotch looked over to you and sent you a small nod as you both got out of the car and walked in together. It was even busier inside, people were packed in, standing almost shoulder to shoulder. You and Hotch headed immediately to the bar, you found two open spots and sat down, the bartender walked up to you guys. “Busy night?” Hotch asked, the bartender nodded, exasperatedly. “It’s like this almost every night. Popular spot.” He laughed out, “So you probably don’t remember many of the people that come through here?” you asked, the bartender thought about it for a second, “Not really, unless its one of my regulars or they are quite memorable.” He shrugged. You pulled a picture out of your pocket of the girls, “Do any of these girls look familiar?” You asked, the bartender inspected the photos, he shook his head, “Sorry, like I said we have a lot of people that come through here.” You nodded, “What about a man? He would have been quite reserved, sat near the back, didn’t talk to anyone, seemed to just watch?” Hotch cut in, the bartender paused, “Yeah I think I know who you’re talking about, he comes here sometimes, orders a beer and sits in the back. He leaves pretty discreetly.” The man said, “Is he here tonight?” You asked, the man looked around, “Not yet, he normally shows up later in the night.” You nodded and turned to Hotch, “Guess we play the waiting game.” He said.

You and Hotch sat at a table in the back, just talking. Hotch had ordered a beer, as to blend in, you were taking sips of a virgin drink the bartender had recommended. A man approached your table and sat next to you without warning, you could smell the alcohol on his breath. “Hey pretty lady.” He slurred, intoxicated. You forced a smile and looked to Hotch, who was sending the man a death stare. “Are you single?” he asked, paying no attention to Hotch. He didn’t even let you answer, “Let’s get out of here babe. I’ll show you a great time.” He shot you a dirty smile. You were getting visibly uncomfortable, “Get off of her.” Hotch spoke up, you both looked over to him and he was getting serious. “Hey man calm down, I’m just picking up your leftovers.” He snickered, Hotch was up in a second, grabbing the intoxicated man by his collar and pulling him out of the booth. “I wasn’t asking.” He practically spat at the man. The fear in the man’s eyes was prominent as Hotch let him go and he drunkenly stumbled away from our table. “Thank you.” You spoke up, giving Hotch a warm smile. Hotch returned the smile which made your face heat up and you averted your eyes.

The night was long but by the time the bar had closed, there was no sign of this man. You and Hotch packed up and left the bar, getting into his SUV and heading for the hotel. The drive home felt different, the silence wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable. You couldn’t help but steal glances over to him. You pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and Hotch helped you out of the car, “About what happened back there...” He trailed off, you smiled “Hey, don’t worry about it. I wanted to thank you for sticking up for me.” You smiled, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. You felt the heat rush to his face under your hand. You stayed there for a moment, staring into his eyes, watching them try to read you. His brow furrowed, his eyes scanning your face. You pulled away, breaking the trance “We should probably go… go to bed.” You laughed nervously, he said nothing but a brief nod and you both headed into the hotel. Checking into your respective rooms.

It was the next day, you and Hotch were both extremely tired and showed up to the precinct late because of the late closing time of the bar. Everyone watched you two walk in, JJ raised her eyebrows suggestively and you blushed slightly but shook your head, “It’s not what it looks like, the bar was open until 1am.” You said, yawning.

The day was very long, but you eventually caught up with the killer, he had made a mistake in covering his tracks and you had been able to find his tab at the bar. Garcia had tracked his card and given you all an address. The whole team pulled up to the man’s house, you hopped out of the SUV gun in hand, approaching the house with the rest of the team. Morgan kicked down the door and everyone surged into the house.

The next events went by in almost slow motion, you turned a corner, the first thing you heard was the shot. You didn’t know where it had come from until you felt a breathtaking force on your vest, knocking you back into the wall, Morgan was right behind you, putting a bullet through the man’s shoulder. You stumbled back and slid down the wall, clawing at your vest, trying to get it off. Hotch ran in and dropped to his knees in front of you, “Y/n! Y/n can you hear me?” He cried out, your ears were ringing but you nodded, and reached out to grab his hand. He practically tore your vest off, looking for any signs of bleeding, but the vest had done its job. He helped you up, his arm around your waist as you caught your breath before guiding you out of the house. Morgan was shoving the unsub into the cop car, as Hotch helped you to the SUV. “I’ll take y/n back to the hotel for some rest. I need you guys to go back and pack up things at the precinct.” Hotch said, everyone nodded.

You were breathing shallowly in the passenger seat as Hotch drove you both back to the hotel. He wouldn’t even let you walk in by yourself, instead he hoisted you up in his arms and carried you through the hotel to your room. He walked you over to your bed and gently laid you down, sitting down on the bed beside you. You drifted peacefully, grabbing out for his hand as you slept.

When you woke up Hotch was still there, holding your hand. He had laid down and was sleeping peacefully. You checked the clock; it was around 3 in the morning. You shifted slightly and you heard his wake up, stretching his arms above his head. “Y/n how are you feeling?” he asked, sitting up. You smiled “I’m feeling better, good as new.” He stood up and you stood with him. As you came to your feet, he was a lot closer than you had expected. You were centimeters apart. You felt his breath on your face, making you shiver. His eyes were scanning you again, looking for some kind of clue as to what you were thinking. “I was worried about you…” He said quietly. You smiled and reached up for his face again, he grabbed your hand and spun you around, walking you back into the wall. Your back was against the wall, he was pressing his body against you, keeping you still. Fear flashed through his eyes as he started to step away. “I-I’m so sorry-” you cut him off, pulling him back in by the collar and pressing your lips to his. He kissed back immediately. His lips were so soft, felt so right on yours. His hands immediately found your hips, pulling you even closer as your hands played with the hair on the back of his neck. He pulled away, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He admitted, “That guy at the bar…” he paused, you kissed him again to shut him up. “I know” You mumbled against his lips. His kisses got hungrier, his hands going over your body, as if he were memorizing all the curves of your hips. He squeezed at your waist, making you moan quietly. That drove him crazy, his grip immediately tightened, kissing you harder. You reached your hand down and rubbed him through his pants, causing him to groan against your lips. You smirked and felt him almost come undone in front of you. Your shirt was the first to go, he took your breast in his hand making you throw your head back in pleasure, giving him access to kiss at your neck. Biting and sucking at your neck leaving bright red and purple marks, you moaned lightly, your hands tangling in his hair. One hand going to your waistband, the other coming up to grab your throat. He scanned your eyes, making sure it was okay. You gave him a confirming look, he squeezed your throat and whispered in your ear. “That was dangerous y/n.” He said before pushing his fingers past your waistband, making you gasp. “Going in there alone like that?” he was still whispering in your ear as his finger circled your clit, making your grab his biceps. Moaning quietly, “You could have gotten hurt.” He growled, continuing with his fingers. You whimpered, not able to form any eligible words.

You were getting closer to your release, Hotch knew it too and pulled away. Leaving a lingering kiss on your lips before pulling his own shirt over his head. He was toned, strong, you couldn’t help but stare. Seeing him in this vulnerable state, this way, you forever wanted this image of him in your mind. He smiled at you and pulled you back in, “You should have stayed with me.” He said, his voice deep in your ear, making you shiver. His hand going right back into your pants, circling your entrance before pushing a finger inside of you. Your breath hitched, and you opened your mouth as if to let out a moan. “Ah ah. Quiet now.” He growled, you whimpered quietly but nodded. He went back to his fingers, slowly pushing one in and out, watching your face twist with pleasure. Soon you felt him add another one, he curled them inside of you and you felt the tip of his finger graze your pleasure point. You moaned out, he smiled, knowing he had found it and kept going, hitting it with every pump. You dropped your head to rest on his shoulder and bit down on your lip to try and stay quiet. “So wet for me already?” He groaned out, you nodded as best you could while trying to hold in the moans of pleasure. He pulled his fingers out and grabbed you up by your thighs, carrying you over to the bed, placing you down lightly and starting to unbutton your pants. He pulled them off your legs with ease, leaving you in nothing but your bra and underwear, his pants were next. He crawled on top of you in his boxers, you felt his bulge through his boxers rub against you, causing you to moan lightly in his ear. “Fuck Aaron.”

He started kissing down your stomach, all the way down to your thighs, you felt his breath on your inner thighs, causing you to arch you back. He circled your clit through your underwear, making you shudder. He pushed your underwear to the side and licked a flat line up your entrance. You couldn’t keep the moan in that time, it wasn’t that loud, but he heard it. Making him lick you again. You grabbed his hair as he went down on you, you threw your head back as your body was overwhelmed with pleasure. While he was still licking you, he stuck a finger in again. You tightened your grip on his hair and he kept going harder. You couldn’t keep the moans in anymore, grinding down on his fingers, chasing your release. “Not yet y/n.” He whispered. Pulling away. Before he could do anything else you flipped him over, so he was on his back. You trailed down his body, teasing your fingers around his waistband before pulling down his boxers. His member coming up and hitting against his stomach. He groaned at the sudden stimulation, you look his entire length in your mouth making him gasp and throw his head back on the pillow. You bobbed your head and swirled your tongue around him, making him groan and grab your hair. You could feel his tip hitting the back of your throat as you went, amazing moans escaping his lips.

Before he finished, he pulled your hair, letting his member fall out of your mouth. “On your back.” He growled, you obliged and laid down on the bed, you watched him slip your underwear off your legs and throw it behind him as you unhooked your bra and tossed it onto the floor. He leaned down, kissing you and his hands pleasuring you again before you felt his tip slowly push into you. Your nails dug into his skin as you winced. He stopped and looked down at you, you nodded and reached down to push his member farther into you. He groaned and hung his head in pleasure as he bottomed out in you, you moaned as his member hit your pleasure spot. He moved slowly, small thrusts until he was able to slide in and out easily. He held your leg up above his shoulder and continued to thrust. You felt the friction and pain dissipate as it was replaced with pleasure. His groans in your ear, turning you on even more. Your moans were heard all around the room. He leaned it, still going, “You feel so good.” He groaned, you whimpered and ran your nails up and down his back, leaving bright red scratch marks. He moaned at the feeling of this and went harder. He put one hand around your throat and used the other to pin your hands above your head. He was hitting your pleasure spot with every thrust, making you almost scream. You were getting close and Hotch was too, “I-I’m going to-” you didn’t even finish before you released on him, moaning loudly. He was groaning with the feeling of it before pulling out and finishing over your stomach, gasping as he rode out his release.

Later that day, you and Hotch sat on the plane back to Quantico, Reid and Emily were playing chess together. No one knows why she still tries, Reid has yet to lose since Gideon. JJ was finishing her report and Rossi was laying asleep. Hotch sat across form you, his professional face back on, looking over to you and shooting you a smile every once in a while. The flight back is always shorter than the flight out, Reid explained why is physically was, but it felt faster mentally too. As soon as the team landed, there were SUVs outside waiting to take you back to the bullpen. You, Hotch and Reid all sat in one SUV, Reid was forced into the back. The drive was silent other than Reid spouting random facts, you found yourself staring at Hotch while he drove for long periods of time before he would meet your gaze and break you out of the trance.

Everyone was sitting at their respective desks, filling out all the reports quietly. Hotch stepped out of his office, “Y/n. My office.” He said, a shiver went down your spine and you stood. Everyone’s eyes were on you as you walked up the steps and into Hotch’s office. As soon as you got into the office, you closed the door behind you, he closed the blinds and turns towards you “Lock it.” He said, your heart rate picked up and you nodded before turning around and locking the door behind you. You turned around and Hotch was immediately in front of you, grabbing your waist and pinning you against the door. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” He growled in your ear; your knees quivered. He didn’t waste time kissing you, pulling you closer to his body. Holding you up. You immediately reached down to rub him through his pants, but he stopped you “We’re going to have to be quiet.” He murmured. You nodded and he let our wrist go, letting you slip your hand into his pants and slowly stroke him, making him throw his head back and breathe heavily. “Desk, now.” He demanded, you giggled and sat on the edge of his desk. He walked over to you, taking off his blazer and undoing his tie. He came right up and stood between your legs, craning his head down to kiss you, stroking your hair and one hand on your thigh. He pushed you back lightly, letting you come to rest on your elbows, he unzipped his pants and pulled his boxers down enough to pull his hard member out. You bit your lip as he slid into you, his face showing pure pleasure as you contracted and moved around his member. He started slow, until the pain was gone again, the thrusts become easier, and he started going harder. You threw your head back, biting your lip hard as you avoid moaning. “Shhh, good girl.” Hotch praised you, that caused a slight whimper, but it wasn’t too loud. He gave you a warning glance and you nodded desperately. He grabbed his tie and shoved the fabric in your mouth. “Quiet babygirl.” He cooed. You bit down on the tie and let it muffle your moans.

He was getting close; you were coming up on your release as well. You sat up and grabbed his collar, “Cum in me.” You whimpered in his ear. He gave you a confirming look and you nodded. He nodded and as you released on his member, he let himself finish inside of you. You felt his hot release fill you up and you threw your head back. “F-Fuck.” You moaned out. He held you there as you both rode out your orgasm. As he stood back up, putting his clothes back on, kissing your forehead. You felt his warm release running down your leg as you stood, your legs shaking. He gave you his spare shirt to clean up with, “Clean yourself up love.” He said softly. You smiled and he pulled you in for a handful of light kisses. On your lips, your cheeks, and your forehead.

You walked out of the office, slightly stumbling down the stairs and sitting back down, across from Spencer. “What did he want?” He asked you. “Just a second opinion.” You answered, going back to your work as if nothing had happened. Spencer didn’t question it. But Morgan saw the messed-up hair and swollen lips. But he didn’t say any thing.

Word count: 4k

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch smut

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b-lessings · 3 years

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10 lessons I learned from the first 10 days of Ramadan 🌙

(personal, subjective, and in no particular order)

1) It's a constant work and it doesn't get easier. This is the first thing that came into my mind. As a matter of fact, the daily routine of this month is no joke, whichever deeds you try to perform and incorporate in your deen from the 5 obligatory prayers, to the sunnah, to the nawafil, to the azkar, to the Qur'an recitation, to the daily x number of istighfar you promised yourself you'd achieve, it is a lot of work, especially if you have a family to take care of, a job or school to go to, or more critically, if your mental health is not at its best condition. Every day (or night), you get out of bed and you're back at square one, you have all this list of tasks to do, and it gets a lot some times, and you do feel exhausted (but if you are among the lucky ones, then it is the good kind of exhausted), and it's not like your prayers are gonna perform themselves, you have to ger up, you have to act. That's why you need to constantly remind yourself why you are doing this in the first place. What is the point of fasting and waking up in the middle of the night to pray and spending hours throughout the day just remembering Allah swt and reading his book, etc. You have to remind yourself of the ultimate purpose of this month, that we are sacrificing the worldly pleasures for the sake of Allah swt, to gain Taqwa, to be in a state of constante awareness and consciousness of Allah's presence, to get closer to Allah swt the most gracious the most merciful, and that if we don't actually put on some work and effort, we won't get to where we want to go, we won't achieve any of that. It is good to keep things in perspective. Be aware of what you are doing, where you are now, where do you wanna go and what it takes to get you there. If it's constant work and effort, then be it.

2) You can't achieve anything by yourself, your intentions are not enough, you need Allah's support. In fact, for the first couple of days I was so confused, I had to ask my sisters " If the devils are all locked away, why do I feel like I can't focus? " And I was constantly asking myself, if I have already prepared, downloaded the calendars and planners, put up a big board on my bedroom wall, etc., Why do I feel like my Iman is getting low?, AstaghfiruAllah. Aren't we supposed to feel on cloud nine? In a state of pure bliss? And then I came across a khutbah where the Sheikh may Allah swt bless him answered my question. He explained that even though Shaytan is locked away, he has already programmed us, for 11 months (he even made a joke that Shaytan deserves a month off because he has been working too hard for the rest of the year). Anyways, what I realized is even your will and your plans and your excitement about Ramadan and your promises to do so and so deeds is not enough if you don't ask Allah swt for support, for sabr, for guidance, for help, for strength to be able to fulfill those ibadat and carry out the plans you have made for this month. You need to constantly ask Allah swt because who else is our refuge? Who else is our source of strength and patience ? Who else will keep us steadfast on the straight path? And who else is gonna help us against the traps of Shaytan? No matter how willing or excited or determined you are to perform your prayers, finish reading the Qur'an, etc, you still need Allah swt to bless your deeds, every step of the way. Without Him, nothing can be achieved. So in your sujood, ask Him that He give you enough strength to finish that prayer in full Khushoo' and concentration, and after that prayer, ask him for sabr and strength to manage to perform the next one and the one after. Tell Him that you seek refuge in Him from the traps of Shaytan, from laziness and lethargy, from the disoriented heart and the distracted mind. Show Him that you are vulnerable and that even though you are trying to do this for Him, you actually can't do it without Him. SubhanAllah.

3) Forgive yourself when you fall short.

{يُرِيدُ اللَّهُ بِكُمُ الْيُسْرَ وَلَا يُرِيدُ بِكُمُ الْعُسْرَ}

{God intends for you ease and does not want hardship for you}

Allah swt literally said this in Surat Al Baqara (The Cow) when he prescribed Fasting upon us and introduced us to the holy month of Ramadan. Soz read it again. As simple as that, I am not gonna develop this idea further.

4) No matter how much you prepared before Ramadan came, you aren't prepared enough. Well, are you familiar with the saying that Ramadan is like a marathon and you have to prepare for it way before? That's actually true. And guess what? No matter how much you think you are prepared, there are still gonna be some moments when you'd still feel out of breath, where you wish you'd have prepared more. May Allah swt make us reach the end of this month smoothly and seamlessly. May Allah swt bless us and accept our deeds from beginning to end.

5) Our deeds don't get accepted because they're good enough, they get accepted because Allah is merciful. I heard this in a youtube khutba just last night and it resonated with me. Put this in your mind, learn it by heart, print it out on your forehead if necessary! No matter how perfect you think your deeds are, they won't get accepted because you're an amazing slave of Allah swt and you win at worship and ibadah. Don't get too confident, beware of arrogance, control your ego. Stay humble and know your place. The only reason why your deeds would be accepted is because Allah swt will have mercy on you, not because you are so good that your deeds would qualify you for forgiveness and acceptance. So pray that Allah swt accepts our deeds and pray that he encompasses us with His mercy.

6) Don't compare to others, don't get intimidated by others, we are not on the same journey. Walk your own rocky path. I can't stress this enough. I know a lot of brothers and sisters Mashaa'Allah, Allahuma barik, are overachievers, or they might just be out of our league. And sometimes, through social media, we see what they share (in their attempt to motivate us and share some tips and good deeds, spread the knowledge, May Allah swt bless them, accept their deeds and reward them), so we get intimidated. Sometimes it feels like what we are doing is not good enough because it doesn't even compare to what X or Y are doing. And we feel a bit scared that we are not good enough of slaves for Allah swt or that Allah swt wouldn't be pleased with us like He swt would be pleased with them, and we can even feel unworthy and get discouraged ( beware it's a shaytan trap). It is simple though, your path to Allah swt is very personal. What a brother or a sister does only get to inspire you not discourage you or intimidate you. When you see someone sharing something good or beneficial, make duaa for them and make duaa for yourself then leave it at that. Competition is taking over every aspect of our worldly life, we shouldn't let it mess with this sacred part as well. And remember, we are not all on the same journey to Allah swt. It is okay if you can't recite the Qur'an in such a beautiful way or if you can't pray 10 rakaas of Taraweeh, it is okay if you can't read in Arabic or if you don't learn any hadith by heart. Allah swt is patient enough and considerate enough. Scratch that, He swt is the most patient, the most considerate, the most gracious, the most generous, and He appreciates your effort. What matters for Him is your sincerity and the purity of your intentions.

7) The less food you take, the more energy you will have. FACTS. I mean, imagine the struggle of having to pray Ishaa and Taraweeh on a full stomach where every time you get down for sujood you feel like your soup is coming up :/ Allahu almusta'aan. This month is not about feasting. It is literally about giving up pleasures (food being one of them) to focus on Allah. So, Focus on what's important and set your priorities straight.

8) Don't overdue it. Beware of the ghost of Burnout. So yeah, like I already said earlier, it is a lot of work and it requires preparation and constant effort. The aim is to be at our best shape of health and Iman on the last 10 nights because they are the most sacred, the most important, the most blessed. You might wanna consider starting small with your deeds and building up slowly. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately and know that your deeds will not make you enter Paradise, and that the most beloved deed to Allah is the most regular and constant even if it were little." [Al Bukhari]

9) Personalize your ibadat / plans. In other words, do what's best for you and what's beneficial for you. Define your weaknesses and the areas in which you want to improve. Don't just do this or that deed because everyone else is doing them. Do not follow blindly. What is good for you might not be the thing recommended or done by the others. And what you need on your faith journey is not what X or Y needs. You will be judged on your own deeds, your own journey. Have a purpose and a reason for what you are doing and why you are doing that. Also, the more you feel like your plan or your routine is personal, the more you can relate to it and connect with it, the more sincere you will be, the more excited and enthousiastic you will be, and the easier it will be for you to perform your ibadat in Shaa Allah.

10) Too much information can be poisonous. If ,like me, you got into a habit of watching lectures and videos of speakers this Ramadan, then breaking news: it might get confusing. I don't want you to feel lost and confused. Allahima barik the resources are countless and limitless. But also, you have to beware whom you listen to. There are different sects, different perspectives, different rulings on certain things. So, try not take things blindly. Take them with a pinch of salt and always try to do a background check. And eventually, when it gets too much, always choose what's best for your heart, because we are created with an innate sense of "right" , our fitrah is sane, Alhamdulillah. So, try to be critical. Allah swt even recommends that.

I hope this post can be beneficial. Tell me which part you related to the most, and if you have any extra tips, please share. May Allah swt accept our deeds and grant us forgiveness, amen. 🤍

#ramadan thoughts #tips #ramadan experience #islam #رمضان١٤٤٢ #شهر رمضان #رمضانيات #sabr #muslims on tumblr #muslims #Allah

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srbachchan · 3 years

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DAY 4791

Jalsa, Mumbai Apr 10/11, 2021 Sat/Sun 12:04 AM

Birthday - EF Lyudmila Zueva .. Sunday, April 11 .. wishes for your birthday and the desire to be safe nad be protected in your environ .. love from the Ef ..❤️

The desire to put details of time and years spent in the work I do .. in the films worked on .. in the details or stories pertaining to those times .. in any incidents occurred .. in .. whatever ..!!!

So there is refrain and restraint .. life is not about interviews .. to be given in the spent of another for the commerce of another ..

Firstly of course there is the most strongest of feels that the details or connects or conversations giving those events have nothing to do with the one that records it .. they are mine .. they should remain with me .. the idea of the ‘I’ is daunting somehow .. I did this , I went here , I felt this , I ..I I I .. so many I’s ..

The ‘I ‘ is me .. there is wonder then if it can be another’s .. do they really understand or accept or believe or feel the ‘I’ that I have .. and that dissuades me from accepting the request or at times the demand for the concept ..

And they come each hour virtually these days .. a symptom of age and ageing .. “ get him to talk before he leaves the World .. else we shall never know .. or shall never be able to exploit it .. for the public or the self ..”

Is perhaps the refrain in the minds of them that wish it ..

And my hesitancy needs to be understood and not be looked upon as arrogance and ego .. no .. many that I politely dissuade or come away from are graceful in accepting my response .. and I am thankful for that and indeed more ..

.. because there is at the end of it all an, unknown by others, a great disappointment for them .. for they shall get nothing that may be of any interest to any .. so ..

.. allow me to be in my self ..

.. egoistic .. narcissistic .. self centred .. self seeking .. vain .. !

I shall accept all , but shall not give in , I do hope .. and pray ..

Yes I shall not resist any other from exercising their own will and knowledge and interpretation belief and knowledge about me .. I am after all in the public domain , one where it shall be difficult to remain away , when all that we professionally do is to remain with them ..

.. remaining with them is profession .. remaining with me is my employment with me .. a reserve that shall need passwords to submit accede to .. you may guess the password, fluke it , guess it , track back in this so called secure preserve of the various internet traps of the advertised categories .. but it shall still be uninformed and unconfirmed .. and that shall be my submission in the courts of law .. better put, in the courts of the self , where the judge jury prosecution and defence shall all be played , hopefully amicably , with the writer of this four thousand seven hundred and ninety first missive ..

BUT .. the respect for the details that come in abundance from love and desire and affection must have respect .. and care and feel of the dedication devotion and the love that comes to me each hour from the Ef ..

.. and Moses Sapir , the keeper .. has this to say today ..

46 years of ‘Chupke Chupke’ , closing in today :

.. the great Hrishikesh Mukerjee .. and the most number of films that I did with him .. perhaps now Ramu - Ram Gopal Varma has overtaken him - and this from “chupke chupke’ .. this house that you see in the picture with Jaya is now Jalsa .. it was the home of Producer NC Sippy .. was bought by us then sold , bought again rebuilt and became Jalsa .. renamed after it was first called Mansa .. Mansa the Mother of this generational family of the Father .. the originator of this legacy of Bachchan .. not the Mother but perhaps the great great grandmother ..

tradition must be given respect dignity and honour ..

Mansa .. changed to be named Jalsa .. and the lawn behind Jalsa , a small lawn , acquired later, has been named Mansa ..

many important films were shot inside these premises .. Anand , Namak Haram, Chupke Chupke , Guddi , Satte pe Satta and several others ..

.. reflections .. that is all that shall be left behind ..

It is the beckoning of the bed now .. but the desire to go to it is hesitant addressal .. if there be such word .. for when you retire for the night - and it is important to specify that, for fear of the entity of ‘breaking news’, there is just the bed and the lethargic act of sleep .. which comes in the thoughts of memorised events , or at times when it does not , the counting upto whenever the counting disappears .. much like on the Operating Table just when they are about to make incision on your body the anaesthetic administered , the kind gentleman that has just given the passing out drug shall politely ask you if you know your counting or not .. say it he says ..

.. and by the time you reach 8 or 9 .. its over .. gone into oblivion .. out for the count .. out for all the procedures to begin , with precision and surgical excellence .. the Gods of the medical fraternity .. God made them special .. when they open up the hitherto unseen insides of the human body , they and only they can realise the complexity of our making and why we resolve and be dependent on and pay obeisance to ‘the Maker’ .. He and only He can explain how He did it .. because its is beyond human know .. beyond by millenniums to the power of infinity ..

.. and they, the medical fraternity, study it and excel in it and execute the procedures and know and execute .. and still to this day , have not been able despite their dexterity , to give a believable answer to the trillions of questions that arise ..

.. so signing of ..

Amitabh Bachchan, the one eyed jack

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mosquitogirl · 2 years

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necessary context to my last post - i moved to atlanta in 2018 and started working at this natural history museum but really i worked in the old-growth forest it was attached to (the largest urban old-growth forest in the piedmont region™️). i literally just spent 40 hours a week hanging out there and answering peoples questions, leading tours, cleaning up the trails, removing invasive plants, playing runescape on my ipad tethered to my phone, watching movies in the decrepit garage we stored our atv in, looking for plants and insects and salamanders and other critters, basically having the time of my life. the downside is the museums admin was fucking evil and paid everyone like shit (i made $11/hr at first and other bottom rung people made as little as $8/hr while admission was like $20 and admin all made 6 figures for doing literally nothing) and i basically never had enough coworkers to help with all the stuff that needed to be done outside (75 acres of space and it was often just me and one or two other people and we rarely worked together). i stayed for almost 3 years and basically depended on my partners higher paying job for us to make ends meet. i grew and learned a lot and its really just sad to know ill probably never have a job with that much freedom again and if they only paid me a reasonable wage and gave me benefits i could have kept that going indefinitely. it was literally the perfect job for me other than that. my new job pays better and i have the opportunity to affect more change but its still pathetically low for how much experience and knowledge i have and the amount of stuff im responsible for. im stuck inside replying to emails and only get to go out into the field every so often. i guess i could just go for a walk whenever i want but it just means putting off all that stuff for even longer! im just not built for this kind of work. im going to do my best to keep it going and maybe ill adjust to it eventually but really i belong outside. end post

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tl-notes · 3 years

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Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon S2 Episode 9 Notes

...設立から大分地盤が固まってきており、少しずつだが、業態は改善されている。

One thing to note here is that Kobayashi(‘s narration) isn’t saying the company has already made solid improvements, it’s that the company has finally established itself somewhat (as it was only founded relatively recently, and typically new companies are especially busy while trying to get off the ground) and now is starting to make improvements.

Similarly in the second sentence, it’s not “was” slow going, it’s “is still” slow going, and the working conditions “are” improving, not “have improved.”

This is がんば ganba, short of course for がんばって ganbatte, which I’m sure most of you are familiar with: the (in)famous “do your best.”

I only mention it because I like this shortened version of it. Ganba!

This is a fun little idiom(?)/saying: 鼻で笑う hana de warau (conjugated as hana de warawareta), lit. to laugh using the nose. It’s used to describe laughing at someone you’re looking down on for whatever reason (not necessarily in a super serious way, could just be a friend being dumb etc.; in this case it’s Elma’s being naive).

Typically it refers to like a “heh-but-through-the-nose” kind of “laugh,” but as you can see in this scene (where clearly Kobayashi is laughing with the mouth, even starting with “pff” lips) it works idiomatically even if the laughing isn’t only through the nose.

You may have heard that Japan is/was a “lifetime employment” country, where typically people would get hired right out of school and stay at that company until retirement. While that’s much less true today than it was even a couple of decades ago (and has become kind of controversial in ways), it’s still much more common of a practice than in say the US.

One result of this is that there’s a much bigger distinction placed between hiring people in spring as part of the annual graduation rush (the Japanese school year ends in March), and mid-career hiring. Typically you can’t participate in the fresh grad hiring if you aren’t one, even if you’re new to the field in question.

For larger employers (i.e. 5k+ employees), roughly two-thirds of all hirings come from fresh grads, and only small employers (<300 employees) hire more mid-careerists than people directly out of school.

Of course, this split tends to apply mostly to “standard” full time jobs, not so much part time, and is not necessarily a thing in every industry/at every company.

Just as a minor point of clarity, this “organized text” in Elma’s document refers to the phrase まとめられた文章 matomerareta bunshou. In a literal sense, matomerareta can mean organized/consolidated etc., and bunshou text/passages, but meaning-wise it’s more like “writing that gets its point across clearly/cleanly.”

This is a pretty big compliment and a very useful skill to have in organizations like this, as writing such that people can quickly and easily understand exactly what you’re trying to say often saves a ton of time and frustration.

我々はエルマの気迫に押されるがままにその書類を読み始めた。

Another minor point, but where the English could imply that they were overwhelmed by Elma’s intensity through the act of reading her report, the Japanese implies more that they started reading it because of how intense Elma was being.

It doesn’t really make much of a difference either way, but it stuck out a little for me.

To justify mentioning it, I guess I’ll explain the grammar point Kobayashi uses: されるがままに sareru ga mama ni. Sareru is a generic verb/verb conjugation for having something done to you (technically here it’s 押される, to be “pushed/pressed/pressured”), and mama refers to a state, condition, or “way” (like “do it this way”).

Put together, the whole phrase is used to indicate “you” do/did something that someone else wants you to, without (meaningful) opposition. (Something similar in raw meaning but with a very different connotation would be “going with the flow.”)

If a friend says “hey let’s go do something,” and next thing you know you’re out bowling despite preferring to stay at home, this is you.

You can stick the mama ni to various other things as well to come up with a similar idea, but without the sareru the nuance may end up different.

The word for clairvoyance here is 千里眼 senrigan, lit. “eye(s) [that can see] a thousand li”, li being a Chinese unit of measurement for length (shorter than a mile, but for general purposes “eyes that see a thousand miles” is basically the gist).

Despite the perhaps physical-sounding nature of the term, it does actually describe the same power as “clairvoyance” in English: being able to perceive things outside your actual range of vision, including potentially into people’s hearts and minds etc.

Hence why it’s a thousand screen display, when she updates it with tech knowledge:

“Tainted by work” here is 職業病 shokugyou-byou, lit. an occupational disease. The “proper” definition is a disease one gets from working in a particular job, such as black lung for coal miners or even posture-related health issues for desk workers.

Additionally, it’s used colloquially to refer to noticeable habits or quirks that people in a certain profession pick up, like a baker always waking up super early or a programmer using programming lingo out of context in normal conversation. The latter being especially noticeable in Japanese, as a lot of such terms are English in origin.

“Shocking” here is a fun word: ドン引き don-biki. “Don” here is added just for emphasis; the main meaning revolves around 引き hiki/biki, from the verb 引く hiku, meaning to pull.

The idea is that someone does/says something that you recoil from. Maybe it’s gross (“I only shower once a week”), maybe it’s mean (“They didn’t smile enough so I didn’t leave a tip.”), maybe it’s creepy (“I sent like 30 texts yesterday but still no reply.”), just anything that has you feeling like you might want to create some distance because... phew.

It’s kind of similar to the current use of “cringe” as an adjective/noun, though with less of an internet-slang feel* to it, and generally used more as something the speaker is doing rather than describing whatever/whoever is being cringe.

(*I think it started being used popularly in this way in the early-to-mid 90s, with the “don”biki variant specifically popping up around 2005.)

A “Premium Friday” is the last Friday of the month, where you get to leave work at 3 pm. It is largely theoretical.

The idea was created by the Japanese government as a way to reduce working hours and encourage domestic spending (boost demand), but it has not been implemented by all that many employers, and especially not many smaller employers. There isn’t, after all, any mandate or government-provided incentive for doing so.

Evidence from the places that did implement it suggests it is actually good for the economy, but good luck convincing bosses to give extra paid time off.

“Last Friday of the month” was chosen because most people get paid on the 25th each month (Japan tends to pay monthly instead of every two weeks), so it would usually be right after payday, when people are more willing to get spendy.

Kobayashi saying eight hours here reminded me of a “fun” fact: the typical Japanese work day is eight hours plus a one hour break. Plus a one hour break, not with. So a typical work day is actually nine hours. Most commonly 8 to 5 or 9 to 6. Not many “nine-to-fives” here.

The characters for Joui are 上井, which usually read as Kamii or Uwai. It’s “Joui” because that means, when written as 上位, “superior.” As in “a superior life-form.” Like a dragon, say.

でも、ゆっくりやる事業改善案を見せてもらえたじゃない？

This one is actually kind of a critical mistake. In the English it sounds like she’s talking about the improvement proposal that Elma made and that the boss looked at. In the Japanese though, she’s talking about a different plan, one the boss showed them*, that is similar in idea but is going to take longer to be fully implemented**. So we’re being told that while Elma didn’t get what she wanted as fast as she wanted it, it is still basically going through at a slower pace.

*In ”見せてもらえた misete moraeta,” the misete vs mite means they were the ones who got shown something, rather than the ones who got someone to look at their stuff.

**Which you can tell from the ゆっくりやる yukkuri yaru, where yaru is basically “do” and yukkuri means (in this case) at an unhurried pace.

(Re previous note: Hence why she says “immediately” here.)

“Black (ブラック)” and “white (ホワイト)” in the context of Japanese employers refers to how well employees are treated: a company with good benefits/pay, reasonable levels of overtime, and feels safe to work at is “white,” while a company that has excessive overtime, often pays poorly, breaks labor laws, and allows harassment to fester is “black.”

While “white company” was created simply in contrast to the term “black company,” the latter finds its origins in front businesses for organized crime, which were called “black” in the sense of “illegal” (similar to “black market” or something being in a “grey area”). Given the international reputation of Japanese work life, you can imagine that “black company” as a term sees much more use.

There’s been some discussion about maybe replacing it due to the racial implications (especially since it uses the English word “black”), but while typically English translations drop the color for that reason (e.g. ブラック企業大賞, an “award” given to Japan’s worst employer each year, is officially “Most Evil Corporation of the Year Award” in English), it hasn’t really penetrated to the mainstream at this point.

The rice there is in a 飯盒 hangou, a metal container that looks… like that, and is the stereotypical item of choice for cooking rice while camping. It has its origins in the mess kits used by the military, but these days they’re primarily marketed as portable rice cookers for camping use.

You can get round ones too, but the bean shape is very popular.

“Settings” here is 設定 settei, lit. exactly that, “setting(s).” E.g. if you open a computer program and look at the settings menu, it’ll be settei in the Japanese language settings (settei).

I bring it up here because there’s a bit of a difference in how it gets used colloquially like this. In English, the “setting” for a story typically refers to where and when it’s set. In Japanese, “setting” in that sense is usually 舞台 butai. But settei is still used when talking about fiction, just in a different, more expansive way.

Often in these cases settei is used to refer to the various conceits that provide the context in which the story takes place. In this show, for example, one such “setting” is that dragons are real: another is that magic exists. It comes up especially often in fantasy/sci-fi type stuff where there are major distinctions between that universe and the real world—not that stories in a real-world setting don’t have settei of their own, but they often are lumped into descriptions of the plot in that case (”a dragon comes to live with an office worker in her apartment”).

It also refers to the “settings” of characters, like name or age, and things like “they run a bakery that’s going out of business and are trying to save it.” Basically all the details you’d have in a character profile.

It also gets used in conversation to refer to pretend things or (basically) lies: like here, where Saikawa thinks Shouta is playing pretend with his ley-lines talk, or e.g. if someone is trying to tell you some outlandish story (“my uncle works at Nintendo…” or someone asking for love life advice for “their friend”) and you’re just like “Okay so that’s the settei here, I see.”

Not really a big deal, but Elma’s line here in Japanese implies she won’t let Tohru call her that anymore (see her もう mou). Tohru’s response is also more of a “I haven’t been?”, since of course she wasn’t aware of Elma’s-mental-image-Tohru tormenting Elma in the previous scene:

The word for “full of” in the title here is ざんまい zanmai (a suffix form of 三昧 sanmai), usually meaning that there’s a whole lot of [whatever] to immerse oneself in. I mostly bring it up because there’s a famous restaurant chain called Sushi Zanmai that specializes in, obviously, sushi.

And you know, Elma is a water dragon that looks kinda like an eel… I’m just sayin’…

Not really a translation note, but wild that Elma didn’t even touch her parfait. (Not so wild that Fafnir finished his so quickly.) Serious business ahead...

“Genuinely” here is 素直に sunao ni, where the “ni” is used like “-ly” to make sunao work as an adverb. Sunao itself is an interesting word that falls into that category of “simple concept that is often hellish to translate.”

For some context, the first character, 素, is also used in the word 素顔 sugao, which is a face without makeup and 素材 sozai, basically raw ingredients/materials. The second, 直, is used in words like 直線 chokusen, a straight line, or 正直 shoujiki, honest.

Put them together, and you’ve got a word with connotations of directness and being unadorned. The original definition of the word tends toward “simple, natural” in the sense of e.g. life growing up on a rural farm.

The more common use for it these days is to describe people and their actions. Positively, it can mean something similar to a person being happy to help, or kind of like the opposite of conniving; open, frank, genuine. Less positively, it can mean someone is too trusting and easy to trick into doing things OR someone who is “too honest” and says hurtful things.

(If it helps: tsundere characters are often described as explicitly not sunao.)

In this case, the idea is that Tohru accepted the invitation easily as-is, without putting any conditions on it, or doing any “ugh, what a pain, do I have to, jeez” rigamarole—she just accepted. Another way you could put it in this case might be “It’s even more unusual for Tohru to accept an invitation like this without a fuss.”

Just to point out the hand on head thing again.

Also just to point out that this is another example of otsukare, as a reminder of how ubiquitous that word is.

And it makes a good place to end on: thanks for reading!

#maidragon #Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid #kobayashi-san chi no maid dragon #translation notes #anime

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crybabytoy59 · 3 years

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Resignation of fate....

Getting older now I had decide to resign my fate of submissive feelings of having a True Dominant partner, sadly putting this behind me, to stop torturing my self over my inner held submission...After all I had try’d?

My tumblr page made no secret I wished to be used in a true 24/7 submissive relationship.

But nothing had ever become of my ask along the way, only fake so called Mistress/mummy’s ever messaged with but one thing on there mind a “Tribute” easy cash from despairing sissy submissive’s like Myself was there goal.

So with a heavy heart I could still have small windows in time for myself...

I would simply visit a Pro Dominant that way although paying it would be the real thing not some set of Dom instructions over the net from some faceless person who didn’t even take the time to read any of my stories, to better get to know me or my kink !

That’s how I found Jessica she was ten years my younger 5’7” with long red hair, very athletic as she kept in great shape, a bubbly personality & wit to match...

After lots of questions we arranged a meeting at a hotel of her choice, the drive there had my gut in knots ...I was finally going to meet a True Dominant not some fake kid-on person.

Jessica was a Professional with over 15years in the business her knowledge was vast as were her skills !

Knocking the door to the suite she opened it with a huge smile ! She was stunning even more beautiful than her pictures in real life!

“Hello sweetheart in you come” as I passed her she spanked me lightly, then threw her arms around me like she had known me all her life !

Cuddling me she kissed me very passionately running her hands down to my crotch she giggled “My my someone is a very excited submissive aren’t we ?”

I stammered out a yyyes Jessica! She was great again chuckles came,

“Relax sweetheart this is your time with me I want it to be special so that over the course of out ten meetings you will be in no doubt about your next ten sweetheart ! “

This we both smiled over ...this was just what I had always dreamed of it felt So natural.

Jessica told me to go for a shower then come out with a towel around me once “Fully cleaned” I knew what she ment from our talks pre-meeting, so in the shower I gave my self one last enema to make sure I was clean inside but only clean water came out, after all I had spent two hours Deep cleaning myself for this first meeting !

After my shower I took a Deep Breath & walked out with the towel around me.

Jessica was standing at the foot of the bed in a lace black top with no arms a black corset & black leather jodhpurs! She looked the perfect picture of Dominance to me at that moment !

On the bed lay a pink pvc maids dress with a small pink frilly hood to match the outfit, there were white tights & pink Mary Janes with a pair of frilly french knickers with a garter belt.

My heart pounding now Jessica motioned me over with out a word she threw a pillow on the floor pushing my shoulder, I did as she wished without words I knelt obediently putting my hands behind my back.

This pleased her as she kissed my forehead “Well done sweetheart let’s get you properly dressed for today’s chores my New sissy maid !”

Her touch as she dressed me in the pink frillymaids uniform was simply indescribable!

She took her time going very slowly & sensual with her every touch...

I was in sissy heaven !

My first task was to clean her boots as she sipped a glass of wine, she gave me a small black wax pad for this task & a white cotton cloth this took me an hour to do both boots.

Jessica was very pleased with me & more passionate kisses came from her it didn’t feel very Dominant? She was in control but in a soft gentle way....

Next was brushing her hair then I was to pleat it into a long ponytail...

This to pleased her very much as more kissing followed, the third task was very different she asked me bend over facing the dressing mirror put my hands around & pull my cheeks apart!

I watched as she lubed up a butt plug it wasn’t to large & she slid it home only holding it enough that my anal muscles pulled it in by them selfs!

Next she had me sit on the dresser chair as she applied makeup to me ! After the pink base layer, I jumped slightly in the chair as Jessica had picked up Her mobile the plug started a rhythm of vibrations!

More make up went on as she smiled at me straddling my thighs on the chair as she Finished my makeup !

Stepping away she stood behind me I got my first look at what she had done !

I looked like a China Doll !!!!

The look was utterly fantastic..So much so I gasped to her giggling!

“So my new maid likes her look this is your look Sissy lemon 🍋....Yes sweetheart that’s your new name Sissy Lemon”

With that she tied my ankles to the chair & my arms behind me, she then produced a pair of silk white soiled pants letting me smell them over my face her scent was very powerful !

I was absolutely rock hard now...”Open Wide Maid lemon !” She fed the pants into my mouth then lifted a black leather panel mask, it had a head harnessing from it this was buckled into place & she knelt between my legs pulling my engorged member from its silk prison!

Very slowly Jessica ran clear wax type gel over my shaft it felt warm as she put it on...

Slowly she started edging me...Very slowly...over the next hour she would edge me until I twitched then would stop to drink some wine, she would touch my nipples making me moan for more play !

This girl was very good at getting what she wanted men’s submission !!!

An hour later I could hold No longer I threw my head back as it shot from me ! I felt my balls were coming out Such was the force !

Jessica simply kept pumping every last drop from me !

Without any warning she popped open the leather pad on the front of the gag removing her pants she wiped her hand clean!!

Then uttered the words again ...."Open Wide Maid lemon !”

She pushed the cum soaked pants back into my mouth popping the leather panel back into hold the wadding in place....

She got up walking away to get something? When she returned she pulled the chair further back without a word...

Then lifted a huge black leather flogger ....”Sissy Lemon did Mistress Jessica say you could climax ?....No she did Not ...So my wee disobeying maid a punishment I think !!”

She unzipped the dress pulling it down my torso exposing my chest !

Jessica pulled the flogger back ....she spent three hours flogging cropping & whipping my nipples with a riding crop !...

It was very painful but I was in True submission at her touch...

At the end of my 8 hrs with her I truly could not thank her enough...

She told me that’s all she wish for in her sessions that I would feel I could let go of my inner submissive....

We arranged to meet at the same time each week for my sessions....each one became a bit kinkier & more painful for me ! Jessica would put me in my maids uniform, then spank me !

Sometimes head to toe ! Edge me...have me eat my own cummie as she called them !

It was great just to let go & Be Myself !

But on the second last visit Everything changed...

She had edged me & was putting me through a Very intense chest whipping...this she had stopped to put on a new set of nipple clamps ...this was my chance to show her my submission to her each time I would “present to her Fully arched (this made the clamps tighten) & put my head Fully backwards till she appeared to kiss my forehead!

Then I would be allowed to do My cummie....

But this time was different I truly broke !!!

Holding out not to say my “Safe-word”....something happened..

I burst out crying hysterically...

Jessica ran over pulling the clamps off gently she spoke ....

“It’s ok am sorry ...Breath try to relax....lemon...Your ok...hey it’s ok Mistress Jessica has You Lemon”

I muffled into her pantie gag....So Jessica removed the leather panel then her wet pants (she had soaked them in her pee this session )

It was all too much I didn’t know what day of the week it was ! or Where I was let alone what I was Saying to Jessica !!!!

I can’t even remember what I said...but thirty minutes later I was lay on the bed next to Mistress Jessica she was stroking my face...

“Are you Ok sweetheart ? ...(I nodded ) Good have a shower we need to talk...

After my shower I changed into my day clothes & came out Jessica had done the same , she was now in jeans & a white shirt...

“Ok That was too much ...Am truly sorry but I can’t take you for your last session, I will give you your money back & you can’t see me as your Mistress any longer !

I was utterly shocked & Deeply saddened over this but not knowing what I has said to her I thought best to simply accept that I had over stepped my mark with Jessica....

I told her there was no need to give me money back, that I would rather she got something for herself.

I told her I was truly Sorry over this incident..But I hoped she didn’t hate me...

“No silly it’s fine I just feel that was to much for me as a Mistress.....Your a lovely guy & I truly hope you find what you want of life”

I left that day with such a heavy heart, my world truly shattered knowing my type of submission was to be kept locked away, deep within me forever this being the last straw I had upset another with my innermost submissive....Enough I thought....Enough!!!!..

Three weeks later I got a message from Jessica...?

“Hi you we need to meet up for a chat...This is Not up for negotiation You will come meet me here *******, at 7pm see you then do Not reply simply turn up !”

My mind now racing over why she would message me ? But also the message was very cryptic? ...but what had I to loose ?

I did think of not going to meet her, but my feelings for her were very strong.

So at 7pm I walked up to the house & knocked the door...

Jessica opened the door dressed in the same jeans & white shirt ?...it was like the three weeks had not passed...

She ushered me into her home, then asked me if I would like a hot chocolate as she was just having one, I said yes as we both stood in her kitchen she spoke..

“Now am guessing your wondering why I invited you to my home ?”

I again nervously spoke as I did when first meeting her....”yyyes Jessica”

“Well relax this is my home & your my guest, we have a lot to talk about but let’s go through to the fire & we can have a nice chat” she handed me my chocolate as she sipped at hers....she led the way to a large room with a log burner, the flames cracked as she sat in a red leather chair to the left of the burner she motioned me to sit in the other one opposite...

“Ok where to start...It has been a very long three weeks for me as what happened with you has changed something in me, I need you to realise am just a girl at the end of the day, I have feeling & needs just like any other!

Now I know that day you opened a window to who “you are”

As you fell into sub-space you let lots of things out that day !”

I interrupted Jessica saying I was truly sorry if I had hurt her in any way it was Not my intention...she simply smiled at me & spoke...

“Let me Finnish ! Stop being a brat it’s not All about You !”

This took me by surprise so I remained silent as a drank my chocolate...Jessica continued...

“I want you to drink up the last of your chocolate & I have something to show you...Are you done ?...Ok follow me”

As I followed her she took me to an upstairs room as she put her hand on the handle she told me to close my eyes...I felt her soft hand take mine as she led me into the room ...”Now not a word not a single word You do Not have my permission to speak .....Open your eyes !”

I was in a pink adult baby nursery ! A full size cot, high chair, changing table ..rows of white terry nappies ..diapers of all sorts.. pink frills were everywhere ! The cot had pink frilly bumpers around it ! ....

I stood dumbfounded !!!!...As Jessica spoke to me...

“I have never had children & always wanted a baby ....I thought that had passed me by ..until you broke down in sub-space and let your true self to the surface...I couldn’t believe it when You Called Me MUMMY !!!!....So the question is Crybaby..

Do you want me as your Mummy ?”

Jessica was opening a side room door to a second pink room with an adult size baby bath full of hot water & bubbles....!

“If you do Not want this go back to the living room I will understand...If you do just get into the bath for Mummy.....(I strayed to strip off) Clever girlie Crybaby that’s the Right choice....Hey don’t cry sweetheart....well not yet anyway ! let’s save them for after your bath sweetheart..then mummy will bring Crybaby out to play !!!!”

As I stepped into the bath I was crying but not tears of sadness tears of pure joy ! How could this be ? How could this gorgeous girl want me as hers in this way.....was I dreaming...As Jessica lifted the soap & sponge ...I found it was no dream...she truly wanted Me !!!! ....I truly wanted her.....

She spent the next hour washing me as I sat in the bath Obediently not talking..

she told me my stories were very colourful & that I had told her in my Sob-space of my little want in life to be a 24/7 little, even of my tumblr page & story writings !

After my bath she led me to the changing mat then sat me down.

“Ok lay back ...handies out to your sides...Clever girlie “

I was put into a thick terry Nappy that had a folded soaker pad inside, As she pinned the Nappy on with three large pins each side....next came what looked like hollow fabric pants they were very stiff & ridged, after they were on snuggly she pulled on thick heavy rubber bloomers ! Patting them she spoke to me...

“Up we get ..give Me your handies Baby “

I was pulled to a sitting position then had a large petticoat put on me followed by a pink dress covered in frills & bows....next was my garter & tights I had worn as A Maid, then my Mary Jane shoes, the last item was a pink matching bonnet !!

Jessica took time over my make up painting me as before like a china doll but this time with long lashes to boot !

“Clever girlie Crybaby that’s much better, let me look at you...give Mummy a twirl, ..no silly like a toddler...a Three year old baby girl ! That’s a clever baby ! My my ...now do you know how to curtsy Crybaby?”

Giggling at my face she proceeded to Do a curtsy..one foot behind she bent at the knee....”Clever girlie Crybaby..Now You Please....Wow Baby Girlie is a natural...Ok let’s get you down stairs as Mummy has lots of surprises in store for You Crybaby Toy !”

Mummy Jessica led my by the hand down stairs to the log burner she put pink contact lens into my eyes giving a pink haze to everything I looked at they also narrowed my vision....This made me slightly uncomfortable...

As Mummy turned my around she was not alone someone stood beside her....

“Now Crybaby this is Nanny Bee she is going to help mummy this evening as when mummy has to work Nanny Bee will look after you sweetheart as My baby girlie will never be on her own Not Ever !...Now Open Wide As am going to Gag my girlie...As Crybaby will not be having or using her safe-word ever again sweetheart...this is All about My Pleasures Crybaby Pain Toy !!!!”

As Jessica told me this they both laughed....but not a sweet laugh....

A wicked laughter !!!!!!

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