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restinslices · 3 months

Note

ALRIGHT ENOUGH SWEETNESS. LIN KUEI BOYS FIRST TIME FUCKING THEIR PARTNER 🎤 (please)

Omg y’all, my brain let me write again😃

I don’t feel like looking for gifs and my storage space is in hell so I ain’t got photos. Sorry twin

Bi-Han

I know I start his parts off with “the haters will tell you” a lot

IDC. Imma do it again

The haters will tell you he won't care and he'll do his own speed and yadyadya. No.

He's an asshole but be fr y'all

I'm gonna write this as you're both experienced but it's your first time together. If that's not what you meant then lmk but until then-

You're both experienced but he's still careful

He's the type to pick up speed fast but he's not immediately gonna be aggressive

You're experienced but not with each other so he's gonna actively try to be slower and softer

Very observant towards your needs and adapts quickly

I think he’s observant in general so I think he’d easily notice how you react to certain things

More of an action guy

What I mean is he won’t verbally say a lot. Like you know how some people will ask “does this feel good?”? (That looks ugly as fuck-) He won’t

He won’t because he’s paying attention to how you react and what gets the best reaction. He doesn’t need to say much

He’s not completely silent but I don’t think he says much in general, so the first time would especially be quiet because he’s focusing

Do I think he’s rough during sex? Yes. For the first time though? Probably not. He still feeling shit out

When it comes to making him feel good, he makes sure to let you know. He’d never be the type to lie about nutting. That’s just not him. He’s gonna make sure you do it right

Very handsy

He’s vocal when it comes to grunting and I think he’d go out of his way to make noise in your ear if it was something you enjoyed

Pays attention to both your needs

I could see him wanting to go a couple rounds before stopping

Leaves tons of marks as a reminder of what happened

Now that you’ve started now, don’t be surprised when he wants to do it consistently

Kuai Liang

Mostly pays attention to what you need

I think he’s way more verbal than Bi-Han so he’d actually verbally ask what feels good and what doesn’t

He goes slow

Lots of emphasis on foreplay and trying to set the mood

His lips are everywhere

Like legit, every part of you has felt his lips or tongue

I get it, you may think he’s very fast and intense because fire but no

Fire can also symbolize passion and Kuai Liang is a very passionate lover

Considering it’s the first time, there’s no need to rush

The type to always be pleasing you. Even if you’re talking or making small comments, his fingers are still gonna be working on you

When it comes to fucking he’s not doing it fast but how hard he’s going makes up for it

Will go faster if you ask

Is also leaving marks

Does frequent check ins to make sure everything is ok

He’s a big dude (in the sense he’s swole as fuck) so he’d probably prefer for you to be on top so he won’t crush you

If I said he pulls on hair will I be booed or cheered?

If you’re bald then ignore that

Offers to give head. Doesn’t matter if you’re laying down or sitting on his face. He’s leaving here with smth-

The ratio when it comes to orgasming is off as fuck because he’s the type to pull out and start eating you out

Extra points if it’s after you came

He’s pulling out all the stops. You’re not going anywhere after this

Doesn’t particularly care how many rounds you go for

Main focus is on how many times you cum. There’s some people that try to be sweet and “I didn’t cum but if you’re tired then-“ don’t piss him off

You’re either stopping because you’re tired or you’re shaking (or you wanting to stop but that’s not a saucy ending)

Tomas Vrbada

He’s always gonna be a sub to me, idc

He would try so hard to be big man on campus and all strong and shit, but bitch one good tug at the hair and he’s folding

Lets you take the reigns for the first time

Don’t think just because he likes being tossed around a lil, he ain’t gonna say how he feels. No

You can be submissive and still assertive. That’s Tomas

Similar to Kuai Liang in the sense that he is really focused on what you want and what feels good to you

Already moans a lot and loud as fuck but he’s especially loud once he’s finally inside you

He wants to go slow but life happens. The wind just kinda blows this way and next thing you know he’s fucking you like he’s saying goodbye. It’s the winds fault fr

Is also verbal with what he wants and wants you to be too

You’d think y’all have fucked several times with how comfortable he is when it comes to saying what he’s into. What do you mean “choke me”?

What do you mean you wanna fuck the cum outta someone or vice versa? Let’s take a breather, calm down, gather our thoughts-

Once he’s horny his brain shuts off and the whore comes out. You’d expect it’d be Bi-Han that would become this bold, but no. He’s bold all the time. Tomas gives mfs whiplash.

Like bro we were just eating dinner 20 minutes ago

Like I said, he’s really focused on what you want since it’s your first time. You gotta leave an impression

Is his brain cells shutting off? Yes. Will them bitches turn back on if he notices you don’t like something or you say something feels weird? Yes

He’s attentive

Probably came before you because he’s sensitive but he’s not the type to roll over and be like “welp, guess it’s a wrap”

He wants your brain to be as fuzzy as his and he’s determined to make that shit happen

Idk why I changed my profile to this Fear Street aesthetic when I never write for them but here we are. I wanted to change it and this is where I landed.

#mk1 #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #bi han sub zero #bi han #bi han smut #subzero smut #bi han x reader #kuai liang scorpion #kuai liang #kuai liang mk1 #kuai liang smut #scorpion smut #tomas vrbada smut #tomas vrbada #tomas vrbada x reader #smoke smut #mk1 smut

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sleekswosobession · 1 month

Text

but i didn't did pour the whiskey

barça femeni x reader

overview: they said getting over addiction wasn't easy, what about when no one knows? what about when relapse happens after a whole year?

A/N: my requests are sitting... but I can't get to them and im really sorry, ive been so busy atm and dont got much modivation for em'

TW: alcohol addiction, self-hatred, relapse, course language, actual detail instead of me brushing over it

!! viewer discretion is advised, i suggest only mature audiences read this !!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In all honesty, you'd seen the signs. You'd known the inevitable was coming. The feelings of urge that you'd felt a year ago when trying to stop. You had stopped though, so you ignored it. Then it became more real. To the blank stares at the crates in the stores, rather than the hatred you harboured before after finally being ‘better’.

To walking and judging if you should buy it or not.

To blinking tears out of your eyes, wondering why you'd think that in the first place.

Because why would you, you were better now. Right? That's what you'd told yourself anyways.

It kept amplifying over the course of a week. Until you couldn't take it, until everything you'd worked so hard for for the past year came crashing down. All those memories of countless nights pacing, crying, yelling over a stupid fucking substance fade away.

Guilt. That's all there is. Guilt.

Guilt for betraying your past self who had cried for hours, who felt like she was going psycho over not having a single drink.

But, you can't find it in yourself to stop drinking it. It's just one beer, how harmful could it be? Said by the words of a true fucking alcoholic.

So, you do the only thing you can think of and cry. Cry until your face is numb, your throat burning with every breath, cry until your lungs can't take in any oxygen anymore.

Cry until you feel like you've felt something.

Then when you did stop crying what did you do? The only option you thought you had. Drink more.

- - - - -

You knew you looked like shit, you felt like it too. Your face puffy from the numerous breakdowns the night before, your eyes red from the tears that had an endless flow, dark rings under your eyes from the restless 3 hour sleep you'd got.

Also not to mention the headache you'd acquired. Knowing that only last year if you'd drunk this much, you'd only start to feel something. That's not something to be proud of.

You try your hardest to make yourself look even the slightest bit presentable, getting rid of the puffy face with a shower and taking paracetamol to take away the ache in your skull.

This would do enough to convince them you were fine, it's not like you were the loudest or most obnoxious person on the team. Preferring to observe everything with a smile.

What you didn't consider? Your captains. You're only 22 so even if you're techincally an adult, they're still over 7 years older than you.

So you walk into the lockeroom for training, silently making your way to your cubby as usual. Until, you feel a tug on your sleeve. Alexia is standing there, worry etched into her features.

"You ok? It looks like you've barely slept." Her voice is low and quiet, something you were eternally grateful for.

"Yeah, just a rough night. Thanks capi." You don't lie, but you don't tell the full truth either. She can sense this but doesn't say anymore, allowing you to go back to getting ready.

You take the time to rethink of the previous night, the regret you'd felt immediately after taking the first sip. But, the feeling of being unable to stop.

No matter how much you'd told yourself it was nothing, you know this isn't the end.

You push the thoughts away, clearing your mind of any thoughts before walking out onto the field ready for training.

- - - - -

It was the same people you saw watching you; Alexia, Marta and Mapi. It wasn't every second but enough to showcase they knew something was wrong but just didn't know what.

You had joined in the summer from your old club in Italy. No one knew of the past you'd had with alcohol. It's not like you made an effort to tell them either, they respected your choices not to drink when going out and you didn't need to bring up topics that were from before even moving to Barcelona.

Maybe if they knew, you'd have someone to confide it.

Somehow you'd managed to hide it from your old team as well, but considering the close relationships that Barcelona had with each other you doubted it would be shrugged off as easily.

When training was finally over, you were quick to slip away. As the thoughts and need of what caused you in this melancholic state start to reappear in your mind.

Not now, why after so long did you have to collapse now? When the peak of your career could potentially be around the corner.

You want to survive like a normal person, you want to be able to do things without relying on a fucked up liquid. Why did it have to be you?

And why?

Why is the only thing you can think of to soothe these thoughts, alcohol?

- - - - -

You stare blankly at the open carton, hesitation as you ponder if you should give in or not. Should you drink it? Part of your mind says yes, part of you yearns for it. The rational side says no, and to stop before it's too late.

But wasn't it already?

So you give in. The burning down your throat a painfully familar comfortality.

In a depressing way it makes you more aware of your surroundings, the beer bottles scattered in the room. Liquid all over the floor and on your things. It bothers you, but you can't bring yourself to clean it.

So you sulk, going over past memories. You'd never considered yourself a sad drunk, always being happier and finding a way to goof about while drinking. Then, very rarely toward the end of recovery getting angry. Never sad though.

Times change, people change. You thought you'd changed, but that kind of addiction? It never seemed to leave. Waiting until you're vulnerable to attack. Like an incurable disease.

Before you really comprehend it, the whole box of beers you'd bought yesterday are empty and strown across the floor.

You reach a point of feeling nothing, a numbing feeling brought by guilt, the alcohol making everything seem hazy. Your phone is ringing, but you can't bring yourself to answer. You can't bring yourself to care.

- - - - -

Knocking at your door brings you out of the limboed state you're in. You figure they'll leave soon, and the knocking stops after a minute. Until the door opens revealing the three who had been watching you in the morning.

Alexia is the first to you, the others take in the state of your apartment and walk around elsewhere.

"Hey." It's all she says, but enough for tears to fall from your eyes. You can't bare to look at her face, so you keep your eyes glued to the floor.

"Come on, look at me." She uses her hands to guide your chin so you're looking straight at her.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me." She pauses, "Let's sober you up first." You don't argue, and follow her orders. Exhausted, you pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow.

- - - - -

Waking up was easier than you'd thought it would be, your head not pounding as much as in the morning. It made sense though considering you'd drank less than the night before. There were pills on the side table with a glass of water which you take easily.

The sun is setting so you must have slept for a couple of hours by this point. When you walk into the living room you notice all the rubbish gone, the floors are clean and there's no reminisince of beer anywhere. Alexia, Marta and Mapi are talking quietly amongst themselves and look up once they realise you're awake.

"Come, sit." Mapi pats next to her. You nod silently walking over.

"Would you mind explaining to us what happened? I know you’ve said before don't drink, so this is very new. If you don't want to talk that's also fine but I don't want to see you hurt." Alexia says, she doesn't pry but she does make her point known.

"Ok, but please can you do no talking while I explain? I'm not sure how much I can take if I don't explain it all in one." You're not sure why you opened up so easily, maybe because you desperately craved for someone. Anyone.

"Last year, I was an alcoholic and I can't tell you really when it started. It was to take all the weight and pressure off my shoulders originally, but it turned worse. I just kept drinking regularly and when I tried to settledown, I realised I couldn't. So I didn't stop. It worked for me."

"Then as the season moved on I realised I did desperately need to do something about it but I was just so scared of what people would say to me. How would they react?"

“So instead of getting proper help I did it myself.”

"I got rid of all traces, didn't go out as much. It was horrible. I thought I was going crazy. I wasn't ok at all. I'd obviously relapsed a couple times when trying by myself to recover but it gave me more determination. I'd say it took like 3 months before I truly felt like I was clean."

"Then, I'd had the oppurtunity to play here and it's like everything went away. I should've known better." You sigh.

"Known what? Did you know you were going to relapse again?" Marta asks carefully.

"I saw the signs but ignored them, when I did give in... all I felt was regret, I still do. I think that's why I drank the rest if I'm going to be honest." You look away, not daring to look at any of them.

A pair of arms engulf you, large hands pushing your head to the persons chest.

"Listen to me, we can help you. You won't ever have to do this alone, not while I'm here ok? I don't know much about this, but I'll try. We all will." You start sobbing into her chest, clinging your fists tightly into her shirt. A way to thank them without words.

Because the belief they had in you made you feel like you could do it. Even in these drowning times.

—————————————————————————

i hope you enjoyed fic, this may not be accurate to everyone but this is my experience with battling addiction to alcohol and i write it because i too relapsed after a year recently

this was more for also for awareness and just know that you aren’t alone in anything, if you feel you need someone to talk to i’m always here :)

#woso #woso community #woso x reader #woso fanfics #barcelona femeni #barca femeni #barcelona femeni x reader #barca femeni x reader

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geekforhorror · 8 months

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thoughts on perv ani? 🎤

GOD DAMN IT ANON ILY AND PERV!ANI

————

anakin being a perv

warning(s): SMUT (DNI IF YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT!)

he absolutely would be one

there’s no denying it

he would eye fuck the shit out of you and would look sexy while doing it !!

he feels like he has to stop at some point but he can’t bring himself to

his self control is non-existent

he would definitely look up your skirt on multiple occasions but you don’t notice

and if you did notice?!

you would love it and grin

in all honesty, he would be the BIGGEST perv whenever you’re changing or taking a shower

when you go into the bathroom to take a shower, the door is cracked open just the tiniest bit and it allows him to look at you

he LOVES the way you strip yourself of your clothes and drop them to the ground

and if he saw your bare figure? OH MY GOD. he would be in love.

he can’t help but grow hard at the sight

he wants to relieve the aching pain that pools in his aching dick so what does he do?

he jacks himself off.

while doing so, he thinks of all of the ways he would take you in that bathroom

in his head, he would push you against either the shower, the wall, or even the sink while fucking your pretty brains out <3

he fantasizes about the noises you would make while he’s fucking his cock into your tight walls

“my girls taking my cock so well, huh? just like a filthy little slut…” is what he imagines he would say

i mean he’s not wrong…

but he forgets he’s a slut too since he’s getting off to all of the possible things you would say

sooner or later, he would cum around his hand, not even caring about the mess he made

ok next topic!

i have to say it.

he’s a fucking panty swiper AND sniffer

i’m sorry i had to.

if you’re not home, he would use his key that you gave him to enter your quarters just to sniff his favorite pairs of panties

he knows which ones you wore when you were so incredibly wet for him and sniffed the arousal that remained in the fabric despite washing them

he would swipe a few of those from the drawer before putting it inside the pocket of his jedi robe

if you asked where your panties went, he would lie through his teeth and say some shit like: “don’t worry about it love, i’ll buy you new ones” or “maybe it was the laundry machine”

that dirty little fucker <3

he’s such a fucking horn dog during sex

he wants to slap ur ass to see the movement of its flesh

he also fucks your tits just to watch the way they bounce

during sex he would take pictures of u in every position possible whether it was you bent over crying while taking his throbbing cock or even just in missionary

wants to see every angle of your body in the pictures

your tits, ass, hips, face…everything.

he would use them in desperate matters

you’re away at a meeting? he’s using them to jerk himself off.

he’s horny while you’re off on a mission? he’s using them to jerk himself off.

“that’s it baby, just like that… fucking take it…” he would say with closed eyes and a cramped, cum filled hand

you get the point.

he fucking loves imagining the way you would clench around him

at one point, he even buys himself a flesh light that replicates your pussy in every way possible

when he’s not fucking the fleshlight until he cums, you better believe he’s humping the sheets and pillow, imagining that it’s your warm cunt beneath him

he’s so fucking loud but he doesn’t give a shit

he just wants to cum

he doesn’t even care if you know he does this

if you do find out or walk in on him, it just makes him push you onto the mattress and live out his perverted little fantasies <3

ok that’s it for today!

#this is so filthy i’m sorry #not really tho #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker #anakin smut #anakin fic #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin fanfiction #sw anakin #hayden christensen #anakin imagine #anakin x you #anakin star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars fandom #star wars #star wars fanart

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schizoidcel · 6 months

Note

OK OK SO.

requesting a jax x fem reader fluff and if you’re comfortable slight suggestive stuff alphabet!!

# JAX x READER ☆

Just wanted to say how Ik I got other reqs but I wanted to do this one first since alphabet shit is easy and fun to do. ANYWHOO Ik bestie said fem but again I only do gn stuff so it can be seen as both 🙈

Plus I decided to use a diff alphabet cus it's more fun that way

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

♡ FLUFF ALPHABET !!

Activities (What are their favorite things to do with you? How do you spend your free time?)

He loves messing around with you.

Whether it be messing around with people, the tent, the adventures IT DOSEN'T EVEN MATTER he just wants to wreak havoc with you

Boo! (How do they feel about surprises, giving and receiving?)

Jax is deffo all in for those ...

He loves scaring you with putting random shit you fear in your room or making you extremely happy by giving you some random thing you like out of nowhere

Cuddling (How do they like to cuddle?)

This guys limbs are LONG .

So whenever yall cuddle prepare to be wrapped up like you just got put in a straitjacket.

Date (What does their ideal date with you look like?)

Jax is up to do literally ANYTHING with you, as long as it's not completely boring.

"Boring" does NOT include lazing around together in bed or anywhere at times, he loves doing that

Emotions (How do they express emotion around you?)

He's definitely more vulnerable around you in private, obviously cs he trusts you.

And it's the same for you!

He still barely vents, if at all, he dosen't want to ruin your image of him

Future (What are their plans for the future? Do they see themselves getting married, having kids?)

He never really thought about it, he's more of a enjoy the present type of guy I feel like, though breaking up with you is something that would never really cross his mind.

Then again, I don't think having kids with you is something he ever thought about either

Holding Hands (When/How do they like to hold hands?)

He dosen't hold your hands that much

Rather, he either uses your head or shoulders as an armrest (cuck) or just likes to throw his arm/hand around your shoulder or body

Injury (How would they act if you got hurt?)

I imagine he'd get worried but not that much, he knows you don't crack easily, and he wouldn't lose his head over you getting like a scratch on your arm.

However, if you like, LOST said arm he'd definitely be confused.

He would also joke about how you managed to get hurt that badly, but once he realizes he's kinda stepping too far he stops, and instead "shows" you his more "worried side" instead

Will try to ease the pain (keyword: try LOL)

Jokes (Do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

God he bothers and plays with you so much its unbelieveable.

Mostly because again, he LIVES for your attention, but also because your reactions are the only ones that repeadetly make him laugh

If you ever tell him how he only mainly pranks you because he wants your attention he'll deny EVERYTHING

Kisses (How do they like to kiss you?)

Loves them.

Receiving or giving he dosen't care he LOVES how tingly they make him feel

But what he loves most is how weak you get in his hold once he starts kissing you repeadetly/intensly .

Love Languages (What are their love langauges?)

Jax has his own love language.

As I said, he likes to prank and joke on you or on the other members with you.

Though his other love languages would definitely include quality time and physical touch (We all know hes needy deep inside .)

Mornings (How are mornings spent with them?)

Sometimes, you two sleep together.

Whether that be because your room is too far away or because you're tired or literally just because

But once you both wake up, you either lie in silence for minutes to hours or talk about the most random shit ever.

Nightmare (What are their fears?)

His fear is simple: You or him abstracting before you both get out.

Yes, just that.

It terrifies him whenever he thinks of it 🌚

Oddity (What is one quirk they have?)

He's a rabbit.

What I'm implying is that you can see how Jax truly feels about a situation by looking VERY closely at his ears

He's been trying not to make them move whenever he feels literally anythin.

But if you look at them very intensly, you can definitely see how sometimes they perk up when he's alerted or lean back when he's relaxed

Pet Names (What do they like to call you?)

I just know he calls you anything that gets a reaction out of you .

Even if its corny or cringe or cheesy, he does not GIVE A SINGLE FUCK he just wants you to get flustered.

Though one pet name he likes to use alot is "darling"

Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He tries to remember what you like, dont like, what makes you happy, what makes you uncomfortable, etc. (Albeit he dosen't really do a great job at it... he tries LOL)

Mainly because he wouldn't want to step over a line while joking, but part of the reason is also because he wants to remember as much as he can about you incase you two get out

Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Appreciates the moments where you both just enjoy yourselves most.

Though, his favourite moment ever was the day he first pranked you.

Nothing will EVER beat the face you made

Security (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He loves defending and protecting you, it makes him feel powerful (silly ass bitch).

Though, if you want to protect yourself, or want to protect him, he definitely won't complain (He'll find it hot in a way. deffo.)

Time (How long did it take you to get together?)

It took a LONG time.

Jax mostly was in denial about his feelings, and you were way too scared to confess 💀

There was this period of time where whenever you two were next to eachother you could feel a sense of awkwardness in the air, and the others found it way too funny to do anything about it.

Though, eventually, Jax got the courage to confess to you

He regret saying anything immediately after, in fear of what'll you'll say, even though he knows he would probably be like "Oh no it was just a dare" if you rejected him

But thank the GODS you liked him too

So now that he just pull his crush, his ego is thru the ROOF

He'll definitely act even cockier .

Unique (What’s an unusual thing about them that’s oddly charming?)

He sometimes rubs his chin on you subcounciously while sleeping ..

You don't know if this is actually charming or not.

Value (How important is the relationship to them?)

This relationship is really important to him, as he never let anyone be this close to him before

And if he did, obviously he dosen't remember anymore

So now that he's with you, he will definitely not plan on dropping you anytime soon, if at all

So you better not do the same either, he wouldn't know what to do whether you left him willingly or because you died/abstracted

Wild Card (Random headcanon)

He likes getting pet.

That's it.

That's the wild card.

(He'll also never tell you, you'll have to figure out yourself)

(Ok Ik Gooseworx said he'd prolly hate it but this is y we call it headcanon yall lets keep living in illusion)

X-Ray (How well are they able to read you?)

He can read you SO WELL like it dosen't even matter how your avatar looks he'll most of the time always have an idea of how you feel.

Yearn (How do they act when they miss you? Do they show it?)

He won't show it

He will NEVAR allow himself to show anyone how badly he misses you.

Though once the both of you are together again, you can obviously sense it by the way he holds you (he holds you tighter and closer, basically)

Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He sometimes sleeps with his eyes open and it's the biggest scare of your life when you wake up and see that bitch looking at you, eyes popped like looney tunes

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

ׂૢ་༘࿐ Thank you for reading! ♡

Can you tell I didn't know what to add for the ending LMFAAOAOOO though I genuinely believe he DOES sleep like that sometimes

Anyway this draft didn't save like . 7 times. I had to redo so much someone be glad I didn't bomb this country out of frustration cus GOD

#jax x reader #tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader

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normal-internet-user · 11 months

Note

Hi, could you do a bayverse tmnt x teen sibling reader (gn pls) where they catch their sibling vaping/smoking?

I feel like Raph and Mikey would be a bit okay with it (probably if it’s vaping) while Leo and Donnie would be freaking out about it

Just like to start this off by saying, don't smoke kids! Lung cancer isn't cool, and as a teenager with a dad who smokes, the one thing he constantly tells me it was the worst mistake of his life.

BAYVESE CATCH SIBLING READER SMOKING/VAPING

.........................................

Oh boy.

I can't really think of how you'd get caught,

Maybe Leo found your vape or your cigarettes.

Immediate freak out,

"(Name)! (Name), you have 10 seconds to explain what the hell this was doing in your room. " he holds up the pack of cigarettes/vape.

Leo wouldn't be angry, just worried and dissapointed that you'd do something like that.

Donnie is surprisingly the one who's pissed.

He'd go on and on about the dangers of smoking, the life long side affects, addiction, "I though you were better than this." etc. etc.

Once again, Raph is upset you'd lie about it.

I don't think he'd be very happy about the smoking either, but the biggest thing for him is the constant lying.

Mikey is so worried about you.

Why did you start smoking in the first place?

Stress? Anxiety? Peer pressure?

He's trying to understand your reasoning for the bad desicion, he just wants to make sure you're ok :(

You have constant eyes on you now.

The boys decided the best way to make you quite was to cut you off cold-turkey,

So now one of them always stays behind to watch you., and make sure you don't try to start again.

Yeah, now you're irritable and pissed off, but it's what's best for you.

They'll try to find you more healthy ways to cope, meditation, figit toys, chewing gum, and stuff like that.

And Leo, Donnie, and Raph probably won't trust you for a while.

Donnie is so fucking petty about it too.

"I'm going to school! See you guys later!"

"I'm testing you for nicotine when you get back! And don't even think about using gum, that won't hide shit!"

*Very loud, and very angry teenager door slam*

It's just 'cus he cares :(

Mikey and Splinter pretty much turn into your therapists.

Splinter makes it a point to leave you bowls of sliced fruit if your having a particularly irritating day.

No matter how pissed off you are, you could never bring yourself to snap at your dad.

You'll thank him for the fruit, and he'll sit with you for a while.

Just to keep you company.

Mikey is also spared from your wrath.

Most of the time.

Sometimes if your cravings gets bad enough, you'll snap at him.

But you always go back and apologize.

Your family will stay with you up untill your completely sober.

All the way until those cravings for that bad bad nicotine go away!

....................................

I'm just going to end this by once again saying, don't smoke kids.

It isn't good for your health, and addiction is no joke. If you're an adult, you do you, but kiddo's and my fellow highschoolers, at least wait until it's legal to do. Wait until you're older to make a desicion like that.

#normie rambles #tmnt #tmnt x reader #x reader #donnie x reader #leonardo x reader #raphael x reader #mikey x reader #sibling reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles bayverse #bayverse tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader headcanons #platonic tmnt x reader #tmnt x gn reader #normie writes

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theanimeoftheblackbunnymask · 1 year

Note

Chuuya punishment head canons? Or Jouno whatever you want

Author's Note: How about both?

Links: {Masterlist}

Yandere Chuuya Nakahara (Punishment Idea)

Chuuya is a pretty short tempered person, so when he punishes you it's far from pleasant.

The thing is with Chuuya is that he doesn't actually want to hurt you, he either lets his emotions get the better of him and he does shit without thinking, or he does it because he doesn't know what to do.

Chuuya is definitely the kind of yandere to punish you either sexually or physically. When he's mad he pins you down and has a grip on your neck, telling you to disobey again, that he fucking dares you to do it again.

I can see one time you two were in a heated argument. And you ended up saying something that made him snap.

"You little bitch..." Chuuya would say, before you see a chair float from behind him.

You'd run away as soon as the chair was sent flying towards you, causing Chuuya to chase after you. Sadly, you weren't fast enough and he ended up tackling you.

"Let me go! Get off me!"

Chuuya would pull your hair and tell you that if you wanted him to be mean you should've just asked.

Chuuya would punch you, over and over again. You can whine, scream, beg him to calm down, but none of it works. He's too blinded by his own rage to realize what he's doing.

After half an hour he comes back to his senses and he's shaking, eyes wide and him picking your limp, passes out body.

You wake up in his bed, your face and body bandaged, and Chuuya hugging you, saying sorry and that he was being an idiot and how he would do anything to protect you.

Chuuya mainly does sexual punishments when he's not mad but he knows he has to punish you. He normally gags and ties you up, just so you don't fight. Soemtimes he gets carried away and you can end up bleeding. Chuuya is very, very rough.

Sometimes Chuuya will starve you or isolate you. Chuuya sometimes gets carried away is all.

Afterwards Chuuya does anything he can to gain back your forgiveness. He'll buy you whatever you want. Want him to leave you alone for today? Ok, call him if you need anything. Want him to buy food? Ok, what you want?

Chuuya is such a Tsndare not gonna lie.

Saigiku Jouno

Jouno.,. Where do I start.

When I did my Jouno Yandere Idea, I did talk about what he would do.

Jouno is sadistic son of a bitch, he takes great pleasure in breaking you down in his obedient little pet.

He tortured you, literally. It doesn't matter how severe or minor your offense was, he's torturing your ass. You tend to pass out from the pain and injuries. He tends to break your bones slowly, any cry you let out turns him on, and he makes it even slower so you cry louder.

He does this all in the basement. He'll kick you when your already on the cold concrete floors, already in pain from previous injuries. And, just to add to the humiliation, he does this all when you naked. Even though he can't see your naked body, he can feel your race with panic as he forces you to take your clothes off.

He'll leave you starving for weeks, only giving you water so you survive, but no food. And hie punishments last weeks, never one day. He'll ask you once a week if you're don't with your little rebellion, and if he doesn't believe you enough aka he wants to see you suffer even more, he'll keep punishing you.

And his mental abuse is fucking crazy. This dude will give you a false sense of security, like he'll tell you that he'll be back and then he leaves you down there for two weeks with no contact at all. So when you think maybe it's over, he comes back down with a knife and holds it to your throat, telling you that you're a fool if you think it was over.

Each day is new, so you never know what he's going to do to you. If he going to break your arm, or will he cut the bottoms of your feet, or will he pin you down to the floor and rape you. You never know. He'll also degrade you and dehumanize you like crazy, this man is a monster.

Afterwards is a real mind fucker. He'll take you upstairs, give you a bath, tend to your wounds, kiss you on the cheek and tell you that he was sorry and that he never wanted to hurt you and how much he regrets it. He doesn't mean a single word he said, but the way he said it felt so sincere.

He'll tell you that you're such a good girl/boy, and he acts like nothing happened. Your brain eventually blocks out the event until something triggers it, like Jouno's sadistic and terrifying smile, or any minor injury triggers a flashback. You often have panic attacks because of what he did, and if you're out in public and have you, he'll tell people you just had a bad day, and when you get home he'll sit you in lap and grab your face, telling you that if you try to leave him or escape, that he was going to break your ankles.

But despite all this, he loves you and won't let anyone else hurt you, only he deserves to see the pain on your face, no one else.

After these punishments you realize why you fell for him. His "caring" behavior and the sweetness in his voice, whenever he'd kiss you and tell you that he loved you, you loved him, right?

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd x y/n #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x you #yandere bsd #yandere bsd x reader #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #jouno x you #jouno x y/n #jouno x reader #yandere jouno #chuuya x you #chuuya x reader #chuuya x y/n #yandere chuuya #chuuya nakahara x you #chuuya nakahara x reader

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jellyclogs · 5 months

Note

hi, brooke here! <3

could i request ace helping the reader, who is having a migraine? I'm currently struggling with one myself and that would be much comfort!

feel free to be as creative as you'd like 🐝✨

not gonna lie I didn't see this ask till yesterday sorry about not replying sooner. and as some one who deals with chronic migraines, I'm sorry you've been going through it. I hope they have been getting better and I hope you enjoy the story.

Word count 1.3k

trigger warnings: Migraine, cussing, mentions of panic attacks

A Migraine

I could feel it since this morning. Just a dull ache in the back of my head. I knew it was only a matter of time before a migraine decided to strike me. I managed to get through my normal daily chores before my vision began to blur. The only reason id been able to complete my chores was because it was all muscle memory. If id had to put any real thought into it I'd be more than a little lost. I couldn't focus on anything and my thoughts were flowing like syrup through frozen pipes.

I stepped away from the laundry and closed my eyes. Yeah even with the excessive amounts of ibuprofen and acetaminophen I had taken I needed to go lay down. I turned to Banshee, she had been the only other female on the spades with me. After Pops just kinda claimed Ace as one of his we followed Ace to the whitebeard pirates. “I'm sorry to leave you when we still have work to do but if I don't go lay down I think my brain might selfdistrict.”

Banshee turned to me, “Sweetheart it's not a problem. You've looked like shit all morning I was wondering when you'd tap out.” she smiled at me. “But didn't think asking why you look like a walking corpse would help nun.” we’d been crew members for years, she knew my struggles with migraines. “Plus it's not like this is a hangover and you did it to yourself,” she added.

“Yeah nope, definitely not a hangover, and by god I feel like one.” I gave her a pathetic smile, “But still, I owe you one.” I turned to walk to the door my hand on the wall as I walked. My head was spinning. Though I knew could handle a little tumble I didn't see the need to worry the crew.

“Don't worry about it. And do you want me to walk you back to your dorm? How steady are you on your feet?” she asked in a motherly tone.

“I'll be fine But thanks Banshee.” I waved her by as I left the room. I didn't need to take her away from the work that was left.

I picked my way threw the ship trying to avoid the louder parts. Sadly my room was right next to the mess hall, no matter what time it was the mess hall was always packed full and loud enough to make the floor boards of the ship shake. I winced knowing I'd have to walk past the mess hall's doors to get to my room. The noise would be loud enough to take my balance completely away and my vision would be fucked. I braced myself for a moment, checking one last time if the way was clear before, closing my eyes, and rushing to pass the doors.

I slammed straight into someone. Someone who was much steadier on their feet. Before I was sent to the floor a set of hands grabbed my shoulders and stopped me from falling. “You ok?” Ace called over the noise of the mess hall. His grip on my shoulders was firm but not harsh.

My hands came to cling onto his arms. The noise was overwhelming, like I'd thought My balance was gone and my vision went with it. I couldn't quite manage to speak so I just shook my head no. I wasn't hurt but I definitely wasn't ok.

Ace pulled me over to my room’s door. Helping me inside, “Is this a panic attack or a migraine?” he asked in a soft calming voice barely above a whisper. I couldn't help but smile at the question. Seeing as my head was a box of fucked up, and either were possible (plus both could take my speech away) it was a reasonable question.

I took a moment to take a deep breath and take in the quiet of my room, “Migraine.” I croaked out. With the blare of the mess hall gone some of my brain power was coming back.

“Have you taken anything for it?” he asked sounding slightly relieved. I don't blame him. Migraines were easier to deal with than panic attacks. He helped me over to my bed helping me sit down.

“More than Marco would be happy with,” I joked, giving him a smile hoping it would calm him down slightly. I could feel the way his heart was racing well he was holding me. Ace was good at keeping a calm face when he was panicked, but his heart always gave him away. With his tough exterior, it might surprise people how much of a softy he is when it comes to his crew. He feels helpless and panicky when the people he cares about are hurt.

“Ok since I'm not a doctor I won't scold you for that,” he sighed but I could hear the smile in his voice. He was calming down now that he knew what was wrong and how to help, “how about water?” he asked walking over to my curtains and drawing them close.

“I could use a glass.” I shifted from sitting on my bed to lying down. If it were anyone else I might have just said I was fine, but with Ace I couldn't. With ace, I knew he’d feel better if he was helping.

“Well then ill be back.” he paused at the doorway looking over his shoulder, “Have you eaten?” he asked.

“Yes I have,” I answered my voice muffled, I had a pillow over my face to block out more light. Not that I was looking but I could feel the questioning look he was giving me, “I had breakfast. Eggs, bacon, and orange juice… not lying, promises.” I grumbled.

“Just checking.” he chuckled, and then I heard the door open and close. A few moments later I heard the door open again. Then there were footsteps crossing my room and someone sitting down on the edge of my bed. “You gonna sit up or just spill water all over yourself?” Ace asked in a slightly teasing tone.

“Sit up,” I mumbled sitting up and leaning my head against one of his shoulders.

“Good.” he brought a cup of water to my lips. He let me grab hold of the water cup before letting go. If I was feeling less shitty I might have enjoyed how close he was to me. He waited for me to finish drinking the water before asking, “You want heat or ice on the back of your neck?”

“Heat.” some heat on the back of my neck would definitely help. It would soothe my shoulders and hopefully convince my brain to calm down some. I wondered if he'd grabbed both an ice pack and a hot water bottle.

“You got it sunshine,” I could hear mischief in his voice but I wasn't sure why. Ace wasn't the type to mess with someone if they weren’t in good shape. Before I could ask what he had up his sleeve he was lying down in my bed with me, his arm my new pillow.

For a moment I just froze then I decided, fuck it. I shifted slightly to get comfortable. I was about to bitch that his arm wasn't going to be hot enough when I realized it was. “Guess this is one way to use your devil fruit.” I hummed.

“You want me to get you something else?” he asked in a soft hum. I could feel the hum reverberate in his chest, it was a pleasant sensation.

“Think you can stay here for a while?” I asked almost meekly. If I was being honest with myself it felt really nice to be cuddled up to Ace.

“Yeah I can stay here as long as you need me to,” he replied snuggling into me a little bit.

“Then no I don't want something else,” I closed my eyes, ready for a nap.

“You got it,” Ace answered letting me fall asleep on his arm.

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #x reader #x y/n #comfort #one piece fanfiction #x you #portgas ace x reader #portgas d ace #portgas ace x you #portgas d. ace x Y/n #ace x reader #ace x y/n #ace x you #migraine #migraine comfort

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thana-topsy · 4 months

Note

Ok I gotta come out and say it. I envy you. Like, to a painful extent. The amount of people you get interested in your characters, how you're incredibly skilled in both visual art AND writing, how readers your fics have. I absolutely adore your work, but seeing it fills me with so much envy it's honestly ridiculous.

Did you deal with similar feelings towards other creators when you started writing fic by any chance? If so, how did you deal with those feelings? I feel genuinely stuck feeling worthless about my fics. I'm not as verbose with my language despite over 10 years of writing under my belt and it seems as though my plots don't interest people as much either. So I feel like there's just nothing of worth about any of my work.

I know that this is a lot to dump on you, but I felt like I would burst keeping this all in. Much love to you and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Hey there my friend, I've been sitting with this all day trying to decide how I want to answer you. I genuinely appreciate your honesty, because I know this is a familiar feeling for a lot of people, myself included.

I remember when I first rejoined Tumblr in early 2019, desperately trying to find anyone to talk to about TES, I would look at all these blogs gettings asks about their OCs like they were little celebrities and feel envy and longing. Now, when these feelings start to bubble up, I force myself to take a break from sharing my work, be it art or writing, if only to remind myself why I'm creating it and who I'm creating it for: myself. I know it sounds cheesy, and I probably sound like a broken record, but genuinely I just do this because it's bursting out of my skull. But I won't lie and say the engagement and the support doesn't have a big impact on my motivation. I love sharing with people and getting an enthusiastic response.

I think something people might not realize, or maybe they just forget, is that I used to write a lot of smut. Like...a lot of smut. (I still do). Hahaha and it doesn't get a lot of comments or engagement, but it does draw a lot of eyes. Once my smut stories started taking on heavier plotlines, a comment I'd get a lot was "came for the porn, stayed for the plot." And I wasn't writing smut because I thought it would get me an audience, I was just horny LMAO. But it encouraged me to branch out and experiment with the types of stories I was telling.

Anyways, art is another big part of it, yes. But that also didn't get a lot of engagement in the beginning, and my skills were rusty as hell. I was getting maybe 15 notes on here, 30 likes on instagram. But that didn't really matter to me, I was just insane with inspiration. I'd reach out to people and ask to do art trades, got ghosted a lot, made some good friends, (some people who are still my good friends to this day!). But it took a lot of risks, and I made a lot of accidental enemies and learned a lot of hard lessons. But having visuals to go with the stories I'm writing is like advertisement in its own way. I'm just lucky enough to hyperfixate on this shit like it's my lifeblood. I've always obsessively drawn my favorite characters, ever since I was a wee bab. Long before social media was a factor or the words "content creator" even existed.

And I think that's what it all comes back to. Above all else, do what you do with unbridled joy. If someone else finds joy alongside you, all the better! Even if it's just one person. Take risks, make friends, make enemies, draw that blorbo unapologetically and with wild abandon. Love what you create, even when it's bad. Even when it makes you cringe years later, don't delete it. Even when people try to find every reason to hate what you do and who you are. Don't stop.

Every act of creation is bringing something into the world that didn't exist before you made it. And that alone gives it worth.

Happy New Year!

#topsy's asks #long post

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starrynightmovietheatre · 16 days

Text

The five love languages - Mr Blue Sky’s up there waiting!

Starring: Percy Jackson x fem!reader

Soundtrack: Mr Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra, Out of my League - Fitz and the tantrums, Somebody to Love - Queen

Warnings: swearing like once? I think you’ll live, random ass soundtrack

Enjoy the movie! 🎬

Physical touch:

This man love physical touch

Loves it, lives it, breaths it

Constantly has a pinky linked, a hand held, a hand on your hip, the small of your back…

Loves to see your smile when he hugs you and spins you around

Get used to it, he does it every five seconds 🫶

Kisses

Not even on the mouth

But he will never kiss you on the lips if your asleep/half asleep no matter if you tell him it’s ok

He feels like it’s wrong even if you don’t mind

So if you’re falling asleep be prepared for kisses just at the corner of your mouth

Or on your cheek maybe a cheeky one on the temple y’know mix it up a bit

Loves when you have your head on his shoulder

It means he can either put his arm around you or have your hand in his

Just loves being close to you in general

When you sneak into his cabin/he sneaks into yours he either likes to have his head on your chest or spoon (I gagged writing that last option I can’t lie)

Doesn’t mind if he’s holding you or the other way around but depending on the day he’s had he just likes to be held

Acts of Service:

He once cleaned your weapon for you cause you mentioned in passing that you couldn’t be bothered

You went to clean it and it was shimmering and sparkling

Loves just doing random things for you

“Oh I was meaning to pick up those books”

They are up and on the shelf the minute you step out the room

“I can’t be bothered making my bed.”

The second you are in the shower the bed is actively being made, pillows are being fluffed and the duvet is being aggressively smoothed

It’s shocking just how many things you don’t like doing he remembers

He knows you hate doing the dishes so if you get put on dishes duty he’ll ask Chiron to either swap with you or the other person doing it with you

When you visit your home town he loves watching you work if you have a job

Loves making dinner for you

Helps your mortal parent with things around the house without them needing to ask

Feels bad if he’s made a mess and you offer to clean up and goes ultra fast to even get half of it clean for you

(He spilt half a glass of water)

Gift giving:

Goes all out on your birthday

You mentioned you wanted something like 3 months ago? It’s been in a notebook ever since

Studies what you have and if your running low on your fav perfume he notices immediately and buys you either a refill or a new one

Loves making playlists or cassette tapes for when you’re apart

Adds random songs that remind him of you or he just likes and wants you to listen to

My love languages are mainly acts of service and physical touch so they’re gonna be longer but I feel like this is so short

You say you like a shirt/something in his wardrobe?

It’s now in yours

The next time you are in your cabin it’s magically found its way into your wardrobe/dresser

Words of affirmation:

Constantly tells you he loves you

Says it so much people start second guessing whether he means it or is just saying it

You can tell he means it just as much as the first time he said it

If you get new clothes then he’s immediately saying how good you look in them or you will look it in them

The first time he saw you in a swimsuit he was staring so hard (and respectfully 😘) that he didn’t even need to say something for you to start blushing

And giggling

He loves this one

He naturally uses all the languages daily but words of affirmation?

Abuses the shit out of compliments that again people start second guessing him

Reassured you all the time with a little squeeze of the hand

“Look, you’re perfect, you can do this, everyone knows you can, baby.”

OH THATS ANOTHER ONE

Petnamesssss

Has so many of them stock piled

Some are sarcastic and some are disguised as sarcastic if you laugh at him

Called you his little starfish when you were hugging him and not letting him go once

Not even words of affirmation just had to put it out there

Quality time:

This is so overused but 👏under👏water👏

Loves hanging out with you underwater

Its his little area that no one can really bother him in so when he took you down with him one time you were so happy

Time in his cabin when your both just sitting in silence, hands intertwined as he places a kiss to the top of your head every now and then

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHHDJSJDD

Sorry, anyway

Loves sitting the silence with you, just knowing you’re there

Has Iris Messaged or called you on multiple occasions while you’re apart and just sat there no matter how much it cost him

Picnic dates are his specialty

Even if it’s in Sally and Paul’s place or some random forest spot at camp he has a blanket set up and a basket

This classes as physical touch as well but just holding you

Mainly in his cabin, just lying on his bed and holding you or you holding him

Director’s note: OMG ELISE POSTING ACTUAL WRITING?? Unheard of honestly. Started like ten fics cause I had ideas but then I started thinking I was gonna kms if I tried writing an actual story so I decided I would do some headcanons so I wouldn’t cry 🫶🫶 anyway it’s kinda shit cause gift giving isn’t my main form of showing my love and it’s not really any of my family/friends so I had nothing to really go off of but this was done in like a day so I hope it’s not as shite as I think it is

#enjoy the movie ׂׂૢ: ̗̀➛✧.*#percy jackson x you #percy jackson headcanon #percy jackson

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sgiandubh · 5 months

Note

Dear Sgian Dubh,

Thank you answering the anon about my well-being or perhaps just a curious anon who doesn't care. At the same time, thank you for not speculating about my departure, as you diplomatically didn't. It wasn't really newsworthy, after all.

I appreciate the anon's concern, if it was indeed honest, as well as your kind words. Feel free to bin this message, leave it unanswered or publish it without saying a word. I'll leave that decision in your capable hands. As it were, I have no choice in it anyway.

Now, let me address something that surprised me a bit. I must confess that the part about you disagreeing with me on "many things" shocked me, lightly. Despite our completely different upbringing in two different worlds and thousands of miles apart backgrounds, the way I perceived our 'relationship' was more optimistic than yours.

I completely understand that, given that you've doxxed yourself and it is not a part of your nature to use verbal explosives in rebuttals, you would want to distance yourself from my care-free expressions. (Trust me, I have written worse.)

Anyway, I thought we agreed on far more than we didn't. Clearly, I was wrong. Not the first time, I see, lately.

The only thing that puzzles me, though, is that you "personally feel tricked at this game". Why? Because I didn't message you beforehand or didn't announce my departure publically?

As I mentioned repeatedly, I wanted to leave weeks before you appeared. And then I didn't. But only because you have managed to upscale the conversations, the content, and the language of this never ending dialogue. I communicated it openly and repeatedly. I didn't lie either.

Because of my perception of our relationship, I expected a private message instead of a public diplomatic note. Not that I minded - we are all adults here - but I thought you were a closer friend than you felt it. I wasn't aware there were any straws on your camel's back on my account. Ok, maybe one - not being obesity friendly and saying so publically.

Again, no pressure for friendship whatsoever. I'd hate that as much as you would. If it's not there it's not there. I just thought I did better on my chemistry test, so to speak. But then, I always sucked at chemistry at school.

At the same time, I'm not blaming you or anyone else, for that matter, that I felt propelled to slam the door, quietly, without reiterating my desire to refocus on my work and my life vs. commenting on every facet of somebody else's. Although, I'm content I challenged you just a tad.

What triggered it? The pompous jerk did. And then there was that gentle push from you under my stew of a post. But I am genuinely grateful for it. Finally! You did what I should have done weeks ago.

So why did I leave so abruptly? Two words: too much. Too much time spent here on my side and too much toxicity considering I stayed here to relax and have fun. I don't like arguing with online icons. But my camel's back had received multiple last straws long before today. And I stayed despite my intuition.

The atmosphere on my timeline wasn't ideal. Sometimes I felt as if I were visiting a high quality for elderly care institution (by mentioning of which I just managed to offend all grandmas here, in case you do publish it. Great!). Just too much regurgitating of the years old pictures and writing the same comments. I can do it a little but not a lot.

Conversely, I noticed that my comments under other people's posts started disappearing. That's too much high school for me. I'm too old for that. If somebody wants to write some shit I don't like under my posts, I won't clean it up. But we are all different.

Too much confrontation at times instead of a civil discourse. Never with you but you already know that. I admit my part where applicable. Then again, I'm not afraid to state my opinion, risking a shower of opposing opinions, as we've all had the pleasure to witness every now and then.

I appreciate that you consider my leaving a loss for the community. Well, the community has to understand that I have three books to write. And finish. And publish. And market. Community will be fine without me in a day or two. Perhaps, it already is.

Ironically, I enjoy the show(s) more without discussing every square inch of it, the cast, the stupid PR and their cousins. Ouch! I'm awful, I know. But at least you know where you stand with me.

I've simultaneously written to my other two confidants here so they won't feel betrayed, even if we don't owe each other anything. There were honest with me so I will reciprocate. Not because I feel that I have to. I want to. And I'll miss most of you and jay911 (if I remember it correctly), even though he is often quiet. Maybe I'm just too loud to hear him.

Farewell, for now!

Happy Thanksgiving! and Merry Christmas!

Succulently-speaking, finally deactivated with no current plans to use any other account. Just so you know, if case some dumb anon pretends it's me. It won't be.

I have received this very, very long letter from @succulently-speaking-deactivate in the middle of the European night and sat on it, pondering what to do with it.

Since she did not offer any explanation for her abrupt departure from the fandom, I am releasing it in the spirit of fairness that always guided me. You have her own words - not mine.

I have only one thing to add. The words she used to express her frustration and anger (and angst?), in that (in)famous post that is now gone forever, are unacceptable in my book. No matter the person to whom they are directed. It is very sad when things come to this point, but this is her choice and we will have to accept it.

When I became a diplomat, I took a public oath to serve my country (big or small, rich or poor, right or wrong) with dignity and honesty. To those, my heart added grace and empathy. I do not see why things would be different in here, as far as I am concerned.

#asks #PSA

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doberbutts · 11 months

Note

I think it's also wild the way people assume the stealth experience is roses and butterflies. I went stealth+DL about being gay for about 2 years at work in order to be able to work in a trade where people generally skew extremely homophobic/transphobic/misogynistic. I had been on T long enough to pass reliably so I thought, ok, cool, this is where my life as a Normal Guy kicks in, this is where I get to flex the old Male Privilege and work in an industry culture that is toxic to everyone but cishet men.

and I mean yeah, materially? I did okay in my profession, I was good at what I did. People were pretty chill to me because my only major flaw to them was being the New Kid, a problem that eased with time. I did have a female coworker who I learned dealt with some hazing that I didn't. I will say, in that particular situation, I had some privilege over her since my sexist coworkers never said anything to me the way they said shit to her.

but here's the thing - I still heard all of it. The gross misogynistic things they were saying were not meant to be about me, but they sure as hell were anyway.

but oh, boo hoo, I had to hear remarks, but you know, I didn't face any actual barriers or opposition right? yeah, okay, I guess not, and I'm not saying it would have been better to be out in this scenario, or to be a woman, but there's a reason I ended up leaving that field. walking into work and feeling like - no, knowing - you have to lie to all your coworkers and your boss every single day or else they'll hate you and treat you like shit is not a great feeling. you never have a truly good day when that is always at the back of your mind no matter what. you never develop genuine friendships or connections at work if they're all built on lies.

I ended up getting so burned out. it was a good job, a union job, and I was making a good income. I had a path upwards to make *great* income if I had stuck with it long-term. but I ended up leaving it for a non-union job at a younger company, with a more "hip" HR culture that seemed like maybe I would be in a better place emotionally. I took a pay cut to do that too. but a lot of my new coworkers had the same attitudes as my old ones - the first week I was there, one of the other employees went around the shop asking each person, "if Kylie Jenner was trans, as in, used to be a man, would you still fuck her?" and most people, including the fucking foreman, said "fuck no." I ended up saying something like "it makes no difference to me, sure, fine, she's not my type anyway" (having to not reveal I was trans and also not reveal that I prefer men), and right in that moment I realized this wouldn't be a place I could be open either, and it would feel the same as the old place.

so the burnout for that job came much quicker. I quit after only a couple of months. I did actually end up telling the HR manager why, given that this company actually had one, but she was the only person at the job who ever knew I was trans (since she saw it on my background check anyway).

so yeah like, being stealth at work? it's not a privilege. it's a defense mechanism, and it feels like shit. you feel every transphobic and misogynistic barb even if it's not meant for you. one could argue that I would have never even been able to get those jobs if I were out, and yeah, maybe, that's possible, but I had female coworkers at both places. And yeah, one could also argue that, in terms of pay, I was likely doing better than my female coworkers. And you might be right about that if I hadn't gotten burnt out and quit before having a chance to build up any kind of seniority. But instead I took pay cut after pay cut until I finally decided to put my life in full reverse and go back to college - where I had struggled severely due to mental illness, and still do - since trades were clearly not the place for me.

I'm just really sick of people who have never actually lived what it's like to have that "male privilege" of being a stealth trans man deciding it's just the great, most ideal way you can exist as a trans person. I'm sure there are some stealth trans men who were able to adapt to that environment that I wasn't. but at what fucking cost?

I have a friend who worked a military job training the bomb dogs. He is 100% stealth to the point where even people who know, who have seen him naked and even had sex with him, often forget that he's transgender and why he has that barrier of access to some things if he wants to remain stealth.

The type of shit that people would just. Say to him. And he was always having to balance saying something or keeping quiet so as not to draw too much attention to his status as transgender. He was provided room and board by his job and thus lived with 5-6 similarly aged cis men in the same house and the amount of dodging them and biting his tongue he had to do to just to survive... And the job wouldn't be chill if they found out, the talk he'd heard made it very clear that he was at all times operating with a noose around his neck ready to tighten at the very first infraction.

Anyway that's what passing privilege is. Is your life somewhat better because you pass well enough that no one questions you? I mean I guess technically. But what happens in the mean time to your mental health? Having to hide large aspects of yourself and constantly worrying and looking over your shoulder to make sure no one is looking too hard at your hips or your hands or your chest. My friend is post-op. He's "done", so to speak, outside of taking testosterone. And yet this was still something he had to keep in mind.

He ended up leaving that job due to some Stupid Workplace Bullshit unrelated to his gender status but he told me that honestly it was also a huge sigh of relief. The money he got was great but it was corroding his soul to stay. He ended up taking a pay cut and working elsewhere that he is still stealth but no longer feels like he's got an axe to his neck in every interaction.

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niceminipotato · 11 months

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Hello guys.

So for Pride month this year I really don’t have the capacity to do what I did last year with a one-shot a day. Sorry. Still I wanted to do something. So I will be posting 5 one-shots for 5 different fandoms. Hope you enjoy. The first is of course Meddison 😉

PRIDE - Panicked

She was breathing. Wasn’t she? Her heart rate spiking and the tingly feeling at the tip of her fingers didn't mean anything. The jumbling prickling sensation running up and down her spine was nothing. She was ok. She was alright. But… maybe this thing she was feeling wasn’t entirely normal?

No. She was fine. She just needed to breathe and clear her head. She only had to calm down. It didn’t matter that he knew. Everything was fine. Everything was—

“Denying it won’t make it be less true, Red.”

“Go away, Mark.”

Just how the heck had he found out? This whole thing was platonic. It wasn’t as if she had let anything show. Had she? Not even she herself believed this was true. Oh the lengths she’d go in her denial.

“You are in love with a woman. And hey that’s ok. I’ve been in love with women before.”

They were in the middle of the hall, where just about anyone could hear. As soon as the words left him she covered his mouth and glanced around. The last thing she needed was one more rumor about her to become part of the general circulation of Seattle Grace. And they didn’t need much to go off of…

First people had found out she had cheated on McDreamy and that’s why he ran. The amount of dirty looks she had gotten for that one made her laugh some times. Then people heard about things not working out in bed. Honestly, how they had found out about that one was a mystery to her. News of their divorce wasn't really a secret. Still the whole hospital was buzzing with it before lunch. The last bit had been her little arrangement with Mark, which of course led to nothing between them. Not that she wanted it either way. But after so long being in the front page she wanted to be out. She really didn’t need anything else to be part of the gossip cesspit that was this damned hospital.

“Shut up.” She seethed and Mark only chuckled.

Uncovering his mouth he gave her one of his shit-eating grins. “Red, this is fine. Falling for a w-”

“I told you to shut up.”

“Are you really that ashamed to have joined us in the rainbow?”

“Us? And I’m not—”

“You’re acting like it. Do you think it dirty? Are you not proud of what you are?”

Proud? It had nothing to do with pride(ahem). And she really wasn’t ashamed. She had never had issues accepting people and their preferences. Hell, it wasn’t as if anyone would need to have her blessing to love who they loved.

No. No one had the right to judge people. Not even Satan herself. Not that she’d ever want to or feel the need to. People get to be happy with whomever makes them happy. They get to be happy in whichever way they choose and no one has the right to keep them from their happiness. That was what she believed at least.

Back to the present conversation though. Mark really didn’t know what he was talking about. He was wrong (he wasn’t though).

“Mark, I-I’m not…” not what? Yes, I am.

Mark only watched her as she struggled with her own acceptance, his grin still as irritating as ever. In reality, it wasn’t hard to accept her inclinations. See, she had already had an inkling as to where her preferences lie. What was hard to accept was the reason or rather the person who finally cemented the notion for her. It was so messy and complicated.

“Why her?” She whispered the question echoing in her head.

“I think your heart chose the best person.”

“I don’t even know if she’s-”

“Meredith Grey is as colorful as you and me, Addison.” He took a deep breath and continued to smile.

“Do you hear yourself, right now?”

“Oh come on, Addie. Gotta throw in the jokes wherever I can.”

An eye roll was her only response as she went back to panicking over the fact that she had utterly fallen for the blonde with baby blue eyes. That same blonde who had been her ex-husband's mistress. The blonde she had thought she’d grow to hate but didn’t. Why did she have to be her ‘gay awakening’? Truthfully her gay awakening was probably that girl from med school but still not even her slight panic then could compare to her panic now. This felt more real. It felt true. But…

What was she supposed to do with all of this? What could she even do? Denying this whole thing was becoming increasingly harder. Making it seem as if Meredith being close didn’t affect her was just not something she could do anymore. Not now. Not after she let herself sorta accept the issue. She was freaking out now and she didn’t even have the other woman in front of her.

“Speak of the devil and she will appear. There’s Grey.”

Addison spun around, only years of experience kept her standing after moving so quickly on her high heels. Her heart, that traitorous thing, beat furiously as she noticed said blonde at the end of the hall with her person, as she called Cristina.

Mark chuckled beside her, no doubt noticing the bigger shift in her state. “Now what?”

“What do you mean now what?”

Mark let out an exasperated sigh, “do I need to spell it out for you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Mark?” Her gaze was still on the blonde when Mark leaned in and whispered the craziest thing in her ear, sending her into a stuttering mess. “W-wh-what?”

“Go over there and ask her out on a date.”

“Are you out of your mind? You hit your head before you got here, didn’t you? You need a CT.”

“My head is perfectly fine. And you just need to go over there and ask her out.” Mark wrapped an arm around her shoulders while she looked at him as if he had grown three heads.

“You must be delirious. Why would I go ask her out?”

“Because you like her and you’re both single so why not?”

Pulling away from him and turning to face him she shook her head. “I can’t just go ask her out. Sh-she’s… Meredith Grey.” She whisper-shouted the name and Mark only chuckled.

“Addison, what do you do when you’re interested in someone?”

“Nothing. Because I’m not interested.”

“Again. Denying it won’t make it less true.” He raised a brow when she opened her mouth to argue but closed it again. “Listen, trying won’t cause any harm. Just get over there.”

“Mark, I’m her ex’s ex-wife.”

“What I heard in that statement is that, as I said before, you’re both single.”

“That has nothing to do with—”

“What’s got you so scared, Addie?”

“If she’s not… and then even if she is… what if… what if—”

“You’re acting like a scared little baby. You won’t know what’ll happen until you try.”

“Can you give me a break? I just figured out that I—”

Mark laughed and she went on to shush him. “You did not just find out. You already knew.”

“I… whatever. What about Derek?” She asked and noticed Mark stiffening slightly, which was pretty strange.

“What about Derek?”

“You know what. Why are you being so defensive all of the sudden? Anyway, I don’t even know if he’s over her.”

Mark glared, “he is.”

“How would you even know?”

“I just do.”

“Well, I don’t believe you.” She crossed her arms and watched him almost pout before letting out a sigh.

“I know because we’re as colorful as you.”

“We’re…”

Suddenly Mark’s defensiveness made sense as well as the slight blush creeping along his neck. She looked at him a moment and watched him shift uncomfortably, which made her grin. There had always been something about Mark and Derek. The way they acted after that little drunken adventure which had led the three to bed. Oh yes. She could definitely see the two of them together and happy.

“I’m happy for you two then.”

“Yeah?”

There was a vulnerability to his words that made her reach out and squeeze his arm. “Yeah. Definitely.”

He relaxed, “good.”

“Mhmm.”

“Ok well now, as I said, Derek won’t be an issue so…”

“Mark…”

“Addie, just go over there and ask her out. What have you got to lose?”

‘Everything’, she thought to herself and Mark seemed to read the thought on her face.

“Don’t be a chicken. Do it or you’ll regret it. Trust me.”

The ringing of Meredith’s laugh floated over to them drawing their attention. Ignoring the chicken bit Mark had said she focused on the rest. As she watched the giggling blonde she wondered what could happen should she listen to her friend.

Did she have it in her to get hurt again and survive? Wouldn’t it be better to stay safe and away? What would Meredith do if she told her? What would she do if she didn’t? Would she really regret not acting on this? There were so many questions that she couldn’t find an answer to. What if it didn’t work out? But then… what if it did? What if Meredith felt the same? Could the blonde feel that draw she felt? That never ending pull? Did she also freak out when she figured it out? Was she stumped just as she was in her panic?

Meredith’s laugh rang once more, shaking her out of her haze. As she looked at the happy blonde she wondered how it would feel to be the one to make her smile. The one to make her laugh.

She could picture late dinners, rushed lunches, small juju breaks, late night movies, small conversations, wordless conversations. It was the little things she’d like with her. Coming home after a long day to just sit and be with each other. The other things that came from a relationship would be most welcomed as well. She would never deny that but just the small things, the things you don’t think about. She wanted those with the blonde. How would she get any of it if she didn’t try? At least once.

“Fine.”

“Yeah?” Mark beamed and she couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah.”

“Ok. I’ll wait here. Then I’ll celebrate with you or go drown in beers with you.”

“I’d rather drown in wine.”

“Fine. Wine it is. But I don’t think we’ll need to drown.” Mark wiggled his brows and she shook her head.

They waited a few minutes for Cristina to finally leave Meredith on her own. Mark had been impatiently waiting, throwing glances towards the blonde. Addison had almost smacked him a few times for being so obvious. Once the brunette had gone leaving just Meredith at the nurse’s station he practically shoved her towards it.

Addison had half a mind of turning around and kicking him on the chins but resisted. She took a steady breath and made her way towards the blonde. Her usual strut was less impressive, less threatening. That confident gait of hers has been replaced by a nervous, almost hesitant, one.

Heart knocking violently against her rib cage she managed to get to Meredith, who was writing down notes on a chart. With absolutely no idea how she managed, she cleared her throat to call the blonde’s attention. Baby blue eyes met her jade and she almost turned around with her tail between her legs.

“Hey, Addison.” Meredith smiled softly and honestly why would she do that to her.

“H-hi.” ‘What the hell was that sound?’

“Umm hi.”

“Uh, busy?”

“Just charting.” Meredith watched her a while and the silence became awkward and almost unbearable. The blonde gave her an almost pained smile before she spoke again. “Well umm, yeah. I’ll see you later I guess?”

Addison resisted the urge to pinch or slap herself out of her haze. She needed to say something. She hadn’t come here to stand in front of Meredith doing nothing and looking like an idiot. She had come here to ask her out, like Mark had said. But her mouth wasn’t moving and the air was so thin. Still, though she had to say something, anything.

“A…” she began but stopped taking a quick breath before resuming. “Are you on a twelve?”

“I uh no. I’m not. Finishing a sixteen.”

“Oh, I see...” ‘Dammit, Addison. Talk!’ Another steady breath and she continued, “are you going to be busy after?”

Meredith frowned, curiosity evident in her eyes. “I don’t know.”

“You’re probably going to Joe's, huh?” Addison forced a chuckle and all she could think about was the cheer amount of awkwardness and tenseness in the air.

“M-maybe? I don’t know. I think I’m the only one that gets out early today.”

“Ah…”

“Addison, are you ok?”

“Yep. Are you ok?”

“Yes. It’s just you seem umm…”

She needed to stop. She was making things worse. Meredith was looking at her as if she had gone crazy. Frankly she felt was going crazy. Who in their right mind would do this? This thing wasn’t real. She didn’t—

“Denying it doesn’t make it less true, Red.”

One big deep breath and she grounded herself. “Meredith… let’s go out.”

Meredith stared blankly at her, her lips parting as her mouth hung slightly open. Briefly the image of staring into a computer blue screening entered her mind and she fought to contain her laughter. Soon the blonde’s gaze softened and she bit her lip almost nervously.

“Go out? You and I?”

The questions floated softly towards her and Addison couldn’t tell what emotion was swimming in those baby blue eyes. All she could tell was that now, now she was really freaking out. Her palms were starting to sweat and she had the sudden impulse to jump in the balls of her feet while chewing her bottom lip. She resisted in both instances.

“W-well, yeah. I mean umm well you and I… you know… and I thought that Joe’s was a good place. Unless you’d rather… if you’d like… uh…”

For a moment Meredith’s gaze drifted away from her and focused on something or someone behind her. Where her gaze had been blank then surprised then a bit soft when it returned to her once more it was hard and closed off.

“Is this a joke?”

“Huh? W-what do you…” Addison turned and found who the blonde had been looking at.

Mark had stayed right where they had been still staring towards them with a grin. It seemed as if he were poking fun and he probably was. Though Addison suspected the blonde had the completely wrong idea of what Mark was making fun of.

Spinning back to the blonde she began to blabber on. “No. No. No. Meredith I would never… he’s just— it’s not what you think… why the hell does that sound worse? No wait. Listen, he’s only making sure—”

“Goodbye Doctor Montgomery.”

If she thought she was panicking before she was wrong. Seeing the flash of pain etching into Meredith’s features sent her reeling. Quickly she made her way around the nurse station and thoughtlessly grabbed her hand.

“No. Please, it's really not what you’re thinking.” Meredith’s eyes locked on where she held her hand and she quickly let go. “ sorry. I… This really isn’t a joke. I’m not trying to make a fool out of you or … or anything like that. He, Mark, is only there because he’s trying to make sure that I go through with it. Wait no… that sounds worse than before.”

“Doctor Montgomery, I really am busy.”

Meredith’s low tone made her ache. Why was this going so wrong? All she had to do was tell her she wanted to go out with her. Why had it become so much more complicated? Meredith really thought that she was playing her.

“Meredith, wait. Please let me explain. See what’s happening is that I well I just wanted to uh you know… God I’m acting worse than a child. I’m being ridiculous.” She groaned and covered her face before taking a steadying breath. “Ok, I wanted to ask you out. I… well… I really…”

Why couldn’t she finish the stupid sentence? It was simple. Just three words and done. One more deep breath and keeping her gaze on the floor she went on.

“I’ve never done this before. Y-you’re the first um woman that I ask o-out. I sorta uh l-like you…”

Once the words were finally out she felt a bit more relieved but as she dared a glance at the other woman’s face her rising panic overtook her. Meredith stared blankly at her with her bottom lip stuck between her teeth. She didn’t know what to make of the reaction. Was this good or bad?

Her panic only rose higher as the seconds ticked by with silence being the only response from the blonde. She felt a pang on her heart as she realized that maybe coming to tell her had been wrong. That now Meredith was quiet because she couldn’t think of what to say to get out of the conversation. Maybe Meredith was straight unlike Mark had suggested. Or maybe she wasn’t but she still felt this was wrong.

“I… I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” There was a deep void spreading through her heart but she continued to force the words out. “Don’t mind me or what I said. I’m sorry. Just forget it all, ok? I’ll s-see you around.”

She turned away from the blonde, ready to bolt, and feeling her heart breaking. She needed to get out of there. Mark was frowning at the other end of the hall, seemingly confused, and she turned away from him too. As she made to step away a slender hand wrapped around her wrist.

“Addison, wait!”

Turning to the blonde she saw panic in baby blue eyes. Panic she supposed she had put there when she told her she liked her. She really should go before she broke down in front of Meredith. There was only so many times her pride would allow her to make a fool out of herself.

Trying to pull her hand away she began to beg the blonde to let her go. “Please—”

“I get out in, in an hour and twenty.”

“What?”

Meredith bit her lip nervously, a slight blush dusting her cheeks. “I get out soon. So maybe we um we could go out?”

“Y-you want to?” Addison only blinked in disbelief.

“Yes. I also um well me too. Same like you.”

The blonde’s sentence was a complete mess but she understood. Suddenly, Addison could feel a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. A smile, which Meredith nervously mirrored. Soon butterflies sprung to life in her stomach. Her fingers tingled, but it wasn’t a bad tingle. It wasn’t the nervous and panicked one. It was the excited one, the expectant one.

“You want to go out?” She asked and Meredith nodded vigorously. “O-ok. In an hour twenty?”

“Y-yeah. We can um go to Joe’s. Though I’m a little hungry—but Joe’s is fine.”

“Well there’s this sushi place I want to try. We could uh maybe go there instead?”

“Sushi’s good.” Meredith beamed at her and before she knew it the blonde had left a peck on her cheek.

Her brain almost short-circuited at the action. She could feel heat rising on her cheeks and the top of her ears. Her breath hitched, and she felt herself shudder. She was definitely going through it, but one glance at Meredith told her that the blonde was going through it worse than she was.

The pinkish hue from before had intensified into an almost crimson. Her baby blue eyes were wide in shock. It appeared as though Meredith had acted on impulse, and now it was catching up to her. She rambled incoherently and Addison found it so very cute. The blonde waved her hands around, trying to explain, maybe? Addison wasn’t sure what Meredith was saying because she was on cloud nine at the moment.

“…uh s-so an-an hour and change?”

Addison shook herself out of her stupor and nodded with a grin. “Yes. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

“Ok.” Meredith grinned back nervously before turning around to leave.

Before she could talk herself out of her own impulse Addison gingerly grabbed the blonde’s wrist making her stop. Before Meredith could fully turn to look at her she was already placing a soft kiss on her cheek earning herself a surprised gasp.

“Thought I’d return the favor.” She whispered before pulling away. “I’ll see you soon.”

Meredith nodded wordlessly before scurrying away with her adorable flushing self. A chuckle escaped her at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.

She had been needlessly drowning herself in panic and anxiety. She had been so scared without needing to be. It appeared as though Meredith was having the same issue she was. Oh but was she ever so glad she had done it. Glad she had listened to her friend, even though for a moment that same friend had almost cost her everything.

“So… you’re going out with Grey?”

She wasn’t surprised when Mark appeared beside her. “I am. I am also going to kill you.”

“What? Why?” He brought a hand to his chest in mocked offense.

“She thought I was playing her because you were so not subtly watching us.”

“I just had to make sure you did it. I’m taking my duty as a friend and wingman seriously.”

“Oh, be quiet. Anyway, I have to go. I need to leave my written orders for tonight.”

Mark wiggled his brows suggestively, “why the hurry, Red?”

Narrowing her gaze she sized him up before speaking, “because, Mark Sloan, I have a hot date to get ready for.”

“Wow, the panic went away. Good.”

“I wasn’t panicking.”

“Denying it doesn’t make it less true.”

“Bye, Sloan.” She rolled her eyes and began to make her way to the elevators.

“I’ll walk you. Need to give you pointers.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Mhmm. So listen, take her to a nice place then you start a simple conversation. Don’t do heavy things first. Just ease into it and—”

“I know how to go on dates, Mark.” She let out already exasperated.

“I know but still I’m nothing if not a good wingman.”

“Manwhore is more like it…” She muttered under her breath.

“That’s besides the point plus I’m taken now. “ He shrugged. “So as I was saying when you so rudely interrupted. Take her to a nice place and…

Hope y’all enjoyed this messy little thing 🤭 until the next one. Stay awesome 😎

#addison montgomery #meddison #meredith grey #meredith x addison #addison x meredith #greys anatomy

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dirkspanelcollection · 3 months

Text

Pesterlog/Conversation between Eridan and Kanaya from page 2343

not really a panel, i know. but i love this exchange too much not to put it here.

Full log under cut.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin

GA: Who

CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

GA: Overstating Our Relationship Wont Make Me Feel Very CooperativeGA: Its Paler Red Than That Ok

CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone doesCA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to

GA: Why Do I Got To GA: I Dont Got To And Every Time You Take My Help For Granted I Feel Like I Got To A Little Less

CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticingCA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

GA: If Your Slander Werent So Predictable Id Block You Too For Saying That GA: Has It Occurred To You She May Have Blocked You Because You Are Vvery OvverbearingGA: I Just Said That Aloud Now In Your Silly Accent And Had A Private Moment Of Enjoyment

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith herCA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right

GA: Your Black Solicitation Just Seems Really Indecent GA: What Do You Want From Her Anyway

CA: she made me somethin per a prior arrangementCA: she wwill delivver it wwhen wwe meet in this game but i dont knoww wwhat the logistics are yetCA: im tryin to connoiter wwith her here but shes blowwin me off again fickle dirtscrapin landhag

GA: What Is It

CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethinCA: ok wwell not that obvviouslyCA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after

GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That

CA: wwellCA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionableCA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

GA: Also Speculate For A Moment That Self Preservation Might Not Be What Would Sway My Decision

CA: yeah go ahead and kiss us off but therell be blood on your handsCA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched toCA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps

CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworksCA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at onceCA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

GA: Its Just GA: Laborious Listening To ThisGA: Im SorryGA: None Of It Matters

CA: yeah it does its important sorry but the fate of the race and purity of the bloodline is important excuse me for being concerned

GA: I Know GA: But You Really Should Know By Now The World Will End Tonight RegardlessGA: Land And Sea Dwellers Alike Will All DieGA: Because Of The Game We Are About To PlayGA: And I Agree The Fate Of The Race Is Important But Its In My Hands NowGA: All Of Ours Really

CA: huhCA: wwell ok

GA: Really

CA: ordinarily id call bullshit on terrible stinkin bs like that but i knoww you dont really lie about stuffCA: unless its to yourselfCA: but thats wwhy i bother evven talking to you i wwouldnt evven be here SAYIN any of this otherwwiseCA: so did your clouds tell you that

GA: The Doomsday Scenario In Particular GA: No Not Exactly

CA: i got clouds and they dont tell me SHIT they hide nothin but misfortune and monstrositiesCA: fuckin pain in the ass fuckin cloudsCA: so howw do you knoww then

GA: I Have Another Source

CA: ok wwell you are jacked tight the fuck into this thing in so many wways i dont knoww wwhat to say anymoreCA: wwhatevver wwe wwill just play and find out i guessCA: so can you tell her to talk to me anywway

GA: No

CA: god dammitCA: she and me are teammates wwevve got to havve a powwwwoww or SOMETHING

GA: You Arent Actually On The Same Team

CA: fuckCA: fine i get it ill step offCA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

GA: No Thats Not It

CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws itCA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright sillyCA: but its cool its totally fine dont wworry ill leavve you alone and givve you a shot

GA: Its Unbelievable GA: Her Patience

CA: wwhatCA: wwhoa wwait wwho

GA: Never Mind

CA: ok wwait did she talk to you todayCA: wwhat did she sayCA: or glub or wwhatevver

GA: Something About Longing To Touch You Indiscretely

CA: WWWWHAT

GA: And That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You GA: As Deep In The Flushed Quadrant As One Can Be

CA: wwaitCA: did she actually say thatCA: in confidence

GA: To The Letter

CA: can you copy exactly wwhat she said

GA: Absolutely Not

CA: this is bullshit youre bee essing me in some wway awwfulCA: you dont lie but you do tease and ill tranfuse my kickass royal blood out wwith incontinent musclebeast discharge if i wwont knoww wwhen im gettin hooked

GA: Yeah GA: Shes Just A Concerned MoirailGA: Looking Out For YouGA: Thats All

CA: awwww fuckCA: see im tellin youCA: you got to play your cards right

GA: What Do You Mean

CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to peopleCA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwward

GA: Oh GA: Hmm

CA: kan its hard

GA: What

CA: being a kid and growwing up

CA: its hard and nobody understands

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

#dirkspanelcollection #eridan ampora #kanaya maryam #erikan #homestuck #homestuck panel #homestuck panels #pesterlog

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elibean · 9 months

Text

listen these boys have me in a vice grip ok, ive spat out like 5 fic for them in a week. this has literally never happened to me before lmao

anyway i signed up for an ao3 account and i should be done with that soon so i’ll stop spamming the tag with my fics. BUT UNTIL THEN, you’re stuck with me >:D

this runs with the “LG is from an alternate timeline” theory!

when cxs first meets back up with LG and doesn’t think he’s alive, he ugly cries. When he is reminiscing abt lg when he thinks he’s dead, he ugly cries. I thought hey, lg isn’t very emotional. We really only see him get riled up as it pertains to cxs. What would it take for him to cry? And this is the product of that train of thought xD I’m sorry. Also whatever route s2 ends up taking, this will inevitably no longer jive with canon but hey for now it works!

Every timeline, no matter how hard he tried, always resulted in this. Always, always, always. He should have stayed dead when possessed Qiao Ling stabbed him. It would have been better than reliving this over and over and over again. The blood on his hands; the way Cheng Xiaoshi looked at him; the touch of his hand to Lu Guang’s cheek; the way the lie “it’s going to be okay” was coughed out of his mouth; everything; all of it.

He awakes with a start. Having nightmares; having THAT nightmare, isn’t unusual. But awaking to Cheng Xiaoshi’s voice calling out to him concernedly is.

“Lu Guang?” he whispers. “You were murmuring in your sleep,” he continues. Lu Guang takes a minute to regain his composure. He’s sweating and his heart is racing a mile a minute.

“Did I wake you? Sorry,” he stammers out, his voice unsteady, and that’s when he notices his eyes are wet. Shit, was I crying too?

“It’s cool.” Back to silence. Lu Guang thinks Cheng Xiaoshi must’ve fallen back asleep. He should try to do the same, but he knows better. Knows he won’t be falling asleep anytime soon, if at all.

“Lu Guang?” he murmurs.

“Yes?”

“You were…” he begins, but then pauses, like he doesn’t want to say it. A breath in. Then: “You were calling out for me in your sleep.” Lu Guang feels heat rise to his face. Embarrassing. But also, he’s mad at himself that Cheng Xiaoshi must have heard him being so pathetic, so vulnerable.

Normally he’d deny it. Laugh it off. Call Cheng Xiaoshi an egotistical idiot for thinking Lu Guang would be calling out his name in his sleep, of all people. But. But the memory of blood is so fresh in his mind, of Cheng Xiaoshi’s lifeless body, everything, it’s all…Shit, he’s crying again.

It must not be as quiet as he thinks, either, because Cheng Xiaoshi exclaims, “Lu Guang!” Hold it in, Lu Guang commands himself. He hears the mattress below him shift as Cheng Xiaoshi gets out of bed.

“Lu Guang, get down here,” he commands, and who is Lu Guang to say no? He gets up and climbs down the ladder. Upon seeing Cheng Xiaoshi standing there, Cheng Xiaoshi who had been dead in his dreams moments before, who had been dead in another reality before, he breaks down, crumbling to the floor. Ugly, loud sobs. He thinks Cheng Xiaoshi looks surprised, but it’s hard to tell through the tears. He feels, rather than sees, the warm embrace of his companion, and oh, that makes it worse.

“Hey, hey! I’m right here, it’s okay, everything’s okay,” he soothes, stroking Lu Guang’s back. There’s something ironic about being held and comforted like this by Cheng Xiaoshi, but he’s in no state to make a snarky comment on it. Instead, he hugs back tighter, digging his fingers into the fabric of Cheng Xiaoshi’s shirt. It’s too tight, it must hurt, he should apologize, but the only sounds that can come out of his mouth are sobs; sobs that make him shake and struggle for air.

“Shh, shh. It’s okay,” Cheng Xiaoshi repeats, and how wrong he is. Sure, it’s okay now, but it won’t be okay, at some point, not if he can’t change things, not if…more tears.

Eventually he quiets down, and reluctantly pulls away. He sniffles and wipes his nose with his sleeve.

“Better?” Cheng Xiaoshi asks, his eyes full of concern, and something else Lu Guang can’t put a finger to. No, he thinks, but he doesn’t say that. He weakly nods.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” No, he thinks again, but he’s tired, and sad, and devastated, and exhausted, and…

“You died,” he splutters out. Tears threaten to spill out again. “You died, and died again,” and now he’s lying— the dream was only one loop, not the reality he’s lived over and over, but he’s already talking, “and again, and I couldn’t save you. I tried, I tried, I tried, and I failed every time, and—”

“Oh, Lu Guang,” Cheng Xiaoshi breathes out, worry and concern lacing every syllable.

“I just wanted to save you, that’s all I was trying to do,” he manages to get out. He looks up to Cheng Xiaoshi who is looking back at him, feeling helpless that he can’t make things better. Lu Guang breathes in. “Why can’t I save you?” he whispers, and shit, he’d screwed up, he should have said “Why couldn’t I save you?” This was supposed to be describing a dream, not the reality he’d lived over and over again, but it just slipped out. If Cheng Xiaoshi noticed, he doesn’t show it. He says nothing, but he grabs his hand.

“Feel this?” he asks, and he does. He feels the warmth of Cheng Xiaoshi’s hand, of the hand he’s clapped and high-fived so many times before. The hand that’s punched him in anger, that’s gripped onto his shoulder as he cried. He feels the crevices in the skin, the nooks and crannies, the roughness that he’s offered skin cream to help with in the past. He feels his pulse thrumming through his wrist. Cheng Xiaoshi interlaces their fingers. “It’s me. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” He’s wrong. Lu Guang can’t bring himself to look at him. “Hey. I mean it,” Cheng Xiaoshi says firmly, and releases his hand, which makes Lu Guang immediately miss the warmth. He brings his hand up to Lu Guang’s face slowly, and gently wipes away his tears. This makes Lu Guang look at him, and oh, oh, he loves him, he loves him and he’s going to die and there’s nothing he can do—

“I’m here. It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere,” he repeats. He’s a liar. He will go somewhere, but Lu Guang can’t tell him that. So he only nods, feebly. Cheng Xiaoshi moves to hug him once more, and Lu Guang melts into it. This will have to be enough, for now.

Later, Lu Guang will have to go back to work. Back to work to figure out how to save Cheng Xiaoshi, how to protect moments like these, protect him.

But for now he hugs Cheng Xiaoshi back, maybe a little too tightly, and lets himself calm down. The boy is alive, and safe, and here, with him. For now, in this moment, everything is okay.

For now.

#text post #link click #shiguang #hooray suffering!#don't worry the other two fics sitting here are a birthday fic and then a continuation of my exploration of their love languages lol #i also have a wip about what happened during their overseas trip but i don't think anything is gonna come of that one

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redrydersrequiem · 1 year

Text

Reunited ch 6

Still in training and pencil writing everything anf then trying to get it all on here is taking a little longer but ill keep plugging away at it. This chapter isnt as long as the others but I’m again working on it. May come back and put this chapter and what I was planning for seven together to make it longer we’ll see

Again thank you to everyone who reads this, im a baby writer and trying my best love you all.

Previous chapter. Next chapter

(Got to get both views)

Y/N pov

After saying goodbye to Jake,Neytiri and everyone else we fly back to our clearing. The others all take to reattaching all of the gear we left behind. I just stared at Spider as he ran alongside miles to help him. My thoughts desperately wanted to have left him back with Jake and tiri, but i couldn't, not without making Ardmore suspicious. She already watched me like a hawk as it is. Fike and Warren were able to to get two packs full of fruit to further our alibi while Lopez and Wainfleet hunted down a deer like creature quickly.

Getting to the bridgehead of course Ardmore is there in her exo suit waiting for our team to land. She approaches miles as always.

“Are we prepared now, colonel?

“Yes ma’am”

“Good you'll move out tomorrow at 0800 hours”

“Roger that general”

Ardmore nods, taking a quick look around her, her gaze falling on me and Spider who I push behind me not wanting her beady eyes anywhere near my son. She simply smiles and drinks from her coffee as she walks away from us.

“Ok team you have 30 minutes to get your shit put away and get your blueberry asses to the rec room. Y/n and I will order the food and meet you there now fall out.”

“Yes sirs sound through the air as the group disperses” Spider, y/n and I, make our way through the base to our apartment after getting all the food delivered to our hungry herd of a team,

“Finally home”

“Home for now sa’nu.”

“That’s right baby home for now. Soon though well be free, you’ll be able to play in the sand with your friends and

“Don’t promise him stuff darling.” Miles interrupts us.

“Miles?”

“No just dont dove ok we have to make it out of here first I wouldn’t want either of you to be devastated if it goes wrong. Just…sigh……hey kid go grab some food before everyone else your ma and i need to talk”

“Is everything ok?”

“Yes baby go on.” I usher spider out the door giving him a quick hug and wait for him to walk away

“Miles what's wrong?” I ask the pacing man, his ears twitching back and forth with agitation and nerves. He finally pushes enough to fall down on the couch to run his hand through his hair

“What if this doesn’t work?”

“Oh hun its”

“No y/n don't honey me right now ok how do we know they will accept us after all of this. What if we're just jumping from one fire to another one. I don't want that for you, or anyone else, us to all be ostracized.”

“Miles wow shhh just breathe ok”. Rushing over to him, as soon as im in distance he grabs me pressing his head into my stomach as i run my finger through his hair

“It will be alright miles I can feel it”.

“But what” / “No no buts we have to think positive ok, were so close we just have to have faith that eywa will guide us

“Don’t get me started with that “

“Miles, I know for damn sure you have felt her. We all have, even if you all want to lie to yourselfs for now, I've seen the changes. He's silent for a moment before,unburing his head to look up at me.

“Your right ok,”

“Oh i'm sorry who are you and what did you do with miles

“Oh hush you, he grumbles out just shaking his head at my cheekiness

“I said you're right! the more time we’ve spent out there the less like the old me i feel. But it's like my mind is fighting my body. And I can’t honestly say which is winning. The memories of the old days keep weighing me down.

I fully straddles his lap bring his head into my neck as i hold him tight to me.

“The past is just that love the past we have to move forward, what matters now is making up, and your doing that. I for one have loved you as a human as Navi hell id love you if you where a worm. I say trying to get a smile out of him and succeeding He laughs hotly into my neck. “A worm?”

“Yeah a worm “

“That’s the dumbest thing I think you’ve ever said to me.”

“Oh really than fine i dont/wont love you as a worm see how far you get.” I go to move off his lap but he just wraps his giant armies around me and pins me to him. Much like a koala holding on to a tree.

“You know darlin I think i might need some convincing that you would actually love me as a worm

“Well your not a worm so I can’t do anything for you.

“I'm sure we could think of something miles says his pupils going wide as he leans in to kisses me

{Once again i have not figured out how to write smut without copying someone so idk use your imagination until i learn more}

After we calm down from our activities I feel miles tense up again.

“What’s wrong now”

“Nothing i've just been thinking”

“Any more thinking from you and your going to give yourself gray hairs

“Haha”. He says clearly not amused with me as i just giggle next to him

“No i've been thinking, you know since we’ve been back i mean we’ve just fallen together again because its familiar, and when we were human i know, we never got to finally get married, or any of that.

“Miles what are you getting at?”

“What i'm saying is will you be mine again y/n”

“Um did you just miss the last hour or”

“Not like that,like this” Miles says, pulling his braid around to the front of him. It's my turn to tense as I realize what Miles is asking me. He wants us to maté permanently.

“You realize what your asking right”

“Or course I do.”

“Miles this is permanent”

“You're damn right it is, If i could do this as a human i would have, its the only thing i truly respected about the natives. They picked their person and stayed loyal to them till the end, I want that with you. Well have a normal wedding later if that's still something you want, i just don't want to go any longer without knowing you're fully mine. Especially since I can't have us going out there and you find someone better now can i.”

“Oh miles”, I say lightly, smacking his shoulder, happy tears clouding my vision as I kiss him softly.

“No one could beat you in my eyes”

Readjusting on the bed so im straddled in his lap again. I bring my queue forward and watch as the pink tendrils from both our braids reach out to the other, seeking its embrace. When they finally do twirl together it's like a thousand bolts go through me. I can feel our hearts synchronizing, the breath in our bodies, our very essences now permanently intertwined in a way we never could have as humans. It’s truly something transcendent.

I love you darlin

I love you my miles. Forever.

Y/n pov

It’s bright and early the next morning as we all depart from the bridgehead. It’s not till we get almost half way there that miles signals Lyle to contact jake and set our plans in motion. We see the ocean crew of the rda. Their ship hovering over the water to come to a stand still as they see our ikrans approach.

Two men in plain cloths come out of the deck mask on their faces as they stare up at all of us miles hoping down in front of them, spider and i not to far behind

“Are you scorsby?”

“I am, are you the asshole comadering my ship?”

“That would be me” miles replies

“Well come on then. He says tracking dejectedly back into the craft. Miles just looks over at me, irritation clear on his face. I offer a simple smile back and shrug my shoulders, Miles, Lyel, spider and I all head into the hanger, everyone else explores the giant ship or stays with their ikrans

“So are target is the entire archipelago but well start with the island closest to us and work or way up”

“Let me save you some time these all are uninhabited so you won't want to go there, but these will be harder since ur ship is to heavy to get in some of these waters and make it out in one piece”

Doc you know the area what's over there,” scoresby asks the other man in plain clothes

Primarily metkayinas there’s about 50 villages just on this coast”

“Who are you?” Miles ask the other human who had meet us outside with scoresby

“Ian Garvin im a marine biologist.

“Well if there’s 100 villages we just have to search them all then won't we”. Miles says, keeping up his hunter dog persona

“Now listen here” scoresby starts. “I hunt tulkuns that's what we're here to do. I have quotas to meet” Scorsby tries to level miles with his best intimidating gaze, but miles as a good 6 feet on the man as well as muscle, but hey ill give them man props for trying. Miles shuts down my small grin leveling scoresby back with his own glare.

“Ill be nice once then i wont”

“Well you know what they say can't get out of it get into it all men to there posts, scorsby says as the ship goes into work mode

I can see that dr garvin is different from everyone and wish i could speak with him but it's too late, i have to focus on our mission first. I take Spider somewhere to get some food before meeting back up with the others. A holo pad between them as a picture of a whale-like creature swims on screen.

“So thats a tulkun?”

“Yeah”

“Their beautiful”

“It’s a whale y/n,” Z-dog says quickly, clearly not as impressed with the creature as I was.

“And? Whales are beautiful. Besides, we're not going to actually hurt one of those animals right?

“Well try not to but we got to keep up this act. Miles tells me

“But the dr was saying these creatures are bonded to the people out here like with our ikrans, we can’t kill one and the expect these people to help us later.

“Well try to derail scorsby dove dont worry” Lyle says to me.

“Yeah darlin will tell them we just want to mark one not kill it.

For now we just got to start getting ready. Everyone’s already subtly getting rid of anything with trackers out in the ocean or hiding it here on the ship. Everything else we’ll dispose of afterward

“Ok just everyone be careful out there i'm going to stay here with spider”

“Ok darling we'll be quick trust me.”

The hunt was successfully unsuccessful. Spider ended up sneaking off to go with his father and Lyle on the tulkun hunt, which needed up helping them come up with an excuse to not kill the whale or her child; they simply tagged them and let them swim off, thank eywa. Spider on the other hand was grounded from leaving my side until this was all over.

It was three more days of “searching” the islands, finding nothing. We kept moving forward till we came up on the predestined spot. The main vessel was too heavy for the location so we all had to go out on the smaller boats.

“Ok darlin you ready for this Miles asks me as we make our final approach.

“Yes and no i just don't want anything bad to happen”

“Now weren’t you the one telling me to trust sully and all that shit

“Yes but that doesn’t mean something couldn't go wrong

“We’ve got this y/n come on we’re almost there.” Lyle says ever the optimist.

“Ok let's get this over with.”

The dingy descends on the island Spider and I step out first mile as and Lyle not far behind us as Z-dog takes point in the back watching our tails. The few human soldiers that are with us take up simple positions not really here to help us or interfere simply to watch and report back to the general.

The people of the clan coming forward towards us warily. But once they see spider they realize we are the ones they’ve been waiting for. I see the chief send out a young boy to go call for the mission to start.To the untrained eye you would think this would be a normal village, but to the trained eye you only notice younger children. Elderly and a select few warriors scattered about, the rest must be in the area waiting for the signal to strike.

I tap spider on the shoulder signaling him to introduce us just as we practiced

I see you” spider calls out to the clan's chief and his mate . They simply nod and return the gesture sightly eyeing the few humans with us and their weapons. The chief turns to me and Miles and begins speaking. We let Spider answer since we don't want the humans to know we all understand what is being said, since none of them do either.

It is your clan we are rescuing, the chief asks Spider, answering as miles nodded yes.

Very well may eywa bless this mission he says his face looking stern even as his words scream peace. Truly taking on the role he and his people were Intrusted, he quickly yells out and a horn sounds through the air. Everyone goes into defensive stances, especially the human soldiers. Hoping out of the sand and shallow water, Navi grabs hold of the humans and disarms them while the rest of us put on a show of shooting at them and missing because they were just too fast. Before, they were captured in giant nets. The clan chief and his mate play their part tackling miles down. As I yell out to him. Truly putting on a show that would rival the best actors. It’s not till the tsahik goes to help her mate plunging a long spear through miles side..what the humans don't know is that the spear nearly catches miles vest not lodging in it.

But the humans are too preoccupied to even try to help before Navi riding what look like giant flying fish descend from the ocean and attack the dingy we had commandeered. Forcing the humans to turn tail and run away. Pushing the small ship to get as far and fast away as it can while the Navi pursue sending water bombs at it and the other ship before fleeing. They do significant damage to one of the back propellers sending the whole crew back towards the rdas sea port.

War cry’s fill the air at the metikayinas victory the rest of us continue to play our part now all being hogtied and placed together as we wait for familiar faces to hopefully pop up.

@dyingofcookies @ratchetprime211 @myh3artttt @ducks118 @navs-bhat

#avatar fanfiction #miles quaritch #miles quaritch x reader #jake sully #avatar the way of water x reader #deja blue team x reader #neytiri #spider soccoro x reader

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