#every time i think oh ive matured ive mellowed im better now
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trying to explain to my parents how my childhood affected me while also lying that it wasnt their fault is so. what a waste of fucking time. i should be at the club getting railed instead fuck this shit
#this is so insane i would pay $50000 to be anywhere else#i need to be anywhere else. actually no they need to go away. fuck this!!!!!!#i feel like shit no matter what like ok either i lie and they feel ok but i feel dogshit for taking blame i shouldnt#or im honest and have to endure the resulting guilt trip and thus feel even worse#like. cool. why dont i just kill myself in front of you oh wait that'll compound the fucking guilt trip innit!#anyway. so maybe ill never get over the parental issues. fucking lol.#gripping onto sanity w my fucking teeth rn i need to think about. morse code for three hours to become a little bit normal again.#jesus fucking christ.#every time i think oh ive matured ive mellowed im better now#maybe its just a sign that the things that fucked me up as a kid Were real after all......hm
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