#i dont want her trying to live my life. she wants me to crawl back inside her and tell everyone my stories and life in her voice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

diaryofanidiot · 9 months

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The Experiments

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem! Reader

Chapter list: Prologue, 1, 2, 3, <4>, 5

Cw: Swearing; torture; blood; medical experiments; panic attacks; malnourishment

Summary: For over a year, Y/N was held in a soviet experimentation facility. Forced to fight and claw her way to live, she managed to stay alive. When the 141 rescues her, they get way more intel than bargained for.

Chapter Four

The walls surrounding me felt blurry as i was dragged off. Were they going to kill me? Had i outgrown my usefulness? This wasnt happening... none of it felt real.

A muzzle dug into my jaw as it had been strapped on too tightly. I had discovered what they've done to my vocal chords. This was my punishment for trying to use it against them.

My face scrunched in agony as i was painfully thrown to the side. A long-range tazer was pointed in my direction as a warning, while my binds and the muzzle were roughly undone. I looked around wildly, trying to figure out where i was or what was going on.

"(Y/n)???"

I was forced to my feet roughly.

"Go." Was all I heard as two metal prongs pressed to my back. They were forcing me into a room like a zoo animal. I wanted to fight, but the threat of being electrocuted kept me from doing so as i complied with the orders.

As I stumbled into the room, I noticed another person looking at me with fearful eyes. He looked worse off than I did. His arms and legs were littered with deep cuts and bruises, some still bleeding.

Before I could question it, the door slammed shut behind me and locked. I rushed to it, banging relentlessly. When i finally processed that it was a futule effort, i searched the room desperately. Plain walls and a floor stained with blood were all there was.

The sight of the dried blood caused a panic to stir inside me. I looked to the only other person in the room, as if he had the answers. He was keeping his stare on me. It looked... feral. No longer fearful. His eyes peered through each layer of me. From skin to muscle, bone, and marrow. It looked as if every movement i made was being dissected down to the last atom. Was this what I was to become?

An intercom crackled and a voice came through the speakers "ебать ради... Fight." It commanded.

A chill went down my spine. This wasn't a cell. It was my own personal Collosseum. A test. One that this man had clearly taken before as he began to stalk circles around me like a wolf.

"(Y/n)... alm down- not ther-"

A shiny spot on his neck caught my attention. Scales? I wasn't sure. All i knew is he was done sizing me up.

With a hungry grin, he charged me. I didn't want to fight, but in this enclosed space, it was clear I had no choice. I weakly dodged the throws he sent my way. I wasn't as experienced in fighting, but adrenaline was a surprising thing.

After minutes of being on the defensive, I realized I'd need to switch it up. I was getting tired. Maybe if I won the fight, this would end.

I dont know how many attempted punches i threw before a leg swept under me, knocking me onto my back and ripping the air from my lungs. I felt a weight straddle my hips and hands wrap around my throat.

A sickening feeling settled in my gut once I realized. This fight was to the death. There were no announcements to stop what he was doing as he choked out my life force. Just me... and him.

"Ghost, we need you!"

I turned my head and bit down, my canines piercing the skin of his wrist with ease. I opened my eyes once the grasp on my throat was released; my surgical scar now throbbing from the pressure that had been put on it.

"Bitch." My opponent cursed. I watched fearfully as he opened his mouth. Two glands were surgically attatched to the roof of it. I barely had time to realize why before a mace like spray had been shot into my eyes from the glands like a spitting cobra.

I cried out in pain as I was blinded, my body turning in an attempt to crawl away. Somewhere in my adrenaline filled brain, I remembered my new ability.

The moment a hand grasped my ankle, I turned and screamed louder than I ever had before. The sound echoed off the brick walls, bouncing all around. Something was different this time.

While I was blinded, my hearing had amplified. The scream was louder in all places but one. The space right next to my ankle.... the space where my assailant was writing on the ground, assumingly covering his ears in agony.

I took this moment to fight back.

"Come back to us, (Y/n). You're safe."

....who was speaking to me?

I began to let out small screeches, listening to the sound as I blindly searched for my opponent. He fought me once my hands brushed his body. Found you.

I quickly moved closer to his face and let out a deafening level screech before taking bite after bite out of him. My jaws soon found their target clamped around his throat and clenched down. I could feel his esophagus crushing between my maw with a sickening crunch. I could feel the flesh move between my teeth like an unsteady beating heart as he struggled to breathe. The metallic blood filled up in my mouth before spilling out the sides of my lips, dripping down his skin like a fountain.

He stopped struggling in seconds. To kill a serpent? Aim for the neck.

I understand now. To defeat your opponent, you need to truly understand him. I became just as feral as he at that moment.

"(Y/n) snap out of it." A gruff yet familiar voice flooded my ears. "You're safe. Nobody is going to hurt you here."

My visual input flashed between past and present. I didn't know which was real. The only real thing was the pounding in my head and the spasms of my muscles. Along with...a soft touch on my back?

"That's it... you're safe. You're here with us. I need you to breathe (Y/n). Can you do that?"

I tried to speak, but a strained whimper was the only sound that made it past my lips.

"You're alright. Just keep breathing."

I blinked myself back into the present. Greeted by an all too familiar set of eyes.

"Ghost..."

"Yea, I'm here now. You're just having a flashback. Youre safe here with us."

Us? I looked around the room and saw the rest of the 141 staring at me with concern. Price handed me a bottle of water from my peripheral. I accepted it with shakey hands.

"Where am I?" I asked timidly. Ghost must've noticed my struggle with the cap of the water bottle and took it to open it for me. My body shook with each adrenaline infused spasm.

I felt a hand remove mine from my arms, where i had been digging my nails into my skin until it bled.

"We're in Price's office." Soap explained. "He asked you a question, but your mind spiraled before we could keep you in the present."

I nodded slowly. "Im sorry... what was the question?"

"Did you ever interact with the other experiments?"

My jaw clenched as I swallowed thickly. Ghost was standing now, no longer at eye level, but he kept close by just in case.

"If you can't answer, we can move onto the next few or wait a while longer." Price assured me. I instantly shook my head.

"No... I'm fine. I can do this." I took a deep breath and accounted what I could. I could see concern written all over their faces as I described the first cage fight and the many others that came after. A deep dive into every person and ability I've faced and conquered. Despite my stuttering, rapid breaths, and the occasional shutdown, I was able to manage.

"We're... meant to fight these things?" Gaz was looking at Price, his eyebrows furrowed in worry.

Ghost inturrupted. "Doesn't matter. If it bleeds, you can kill it."

I felt the blood leave my face after he said that. Did he forget that I was one of these things?? "...excuse me?"

He turned to me, that cold look coming back in his eyes. "Not victims like you. But if there are any who accepted their use as a weapon, we will have no choice."

"They dont have a choice!" I yelled, using my crutches to stand up. I was indignant now. "I was through with the cage matches! I won every battle! Do you even know what they had planned for me after?! Do you?!"

The room was quiet after my outburst. I felt a crossbreeze from the air conditioner hit a wet spot on my cheek. Shit was I crying?

I heard Price sigh as he grabbed a file off his desk and held it out to me. "We know more than you think. You never got to read your file, have you?"

I frowned and hastily wiped my tears before accepting the file, sitting down once more to read. It had been translated into English and was a clear copy of the original translation.

Test subject no. 237

"Banshee"

Blood type: ###

Sex: Female

{REDACTED}

Weight Class: Malnourished. (Begin protein heavy diet before the next procedure)

Trials: Successful. (Adaptive; high intelligence)

Alterations: Vocal chord modification. Dental adjustments.

Notes:

Highest recorded scream 190+ decibles.

Keep muzzled. Ear protection required when interacting with the subject.

Proven high IQ. Suspected around 145-155.

Has managed to exterminate all other subjects pitted against her.

The subject has proven adequate for the indoctrination process.

"...indoctrination process?" I whispered, my eyes still scanning the paper just before it was gently taken from me.

"If any of the other experiments are currently out there being used as weapons," Price explained, "then they are already lost. We will rescue who we can, but (Y/n)... The facility you were rescued from isn't the only one out there."

The room suddenly felt like it was spinning. I gripped the arm of the chair I was sitting on, my eyes never leaving the floor.

"We're done here." Gaz's voice. His hand was on my shoulder now. "She needs time to process this."

Price agreed and dismissed us. I dont remember the walk back to my room. The world was somehow both too loud and too quiet.

The only certainty I had was that I needed to do something. An odd sense of duty. They were like me.

Nobody deserved that.

A/N: i know it's another short chapter, but it was so heavy with backstory that to add more would only water it down. Im genuinely so stoked that this fic has reached such a vast audience, and i love you all for the kind words.

Shitty google translation:

"ебать ради": For fucks sake

Taglist:

@warenai @linoskitten11 @jamesrifftapes @justmare @hk-4ever @thriving-n-jiving @katelouis98 @tayaisback @josieguts @btszn @lemmyyy0606 @msecho19 @cory-viv @cybercl0ne @randomhumans-blog @vinithechocolatevampire @embermdk @itsryuken @neothewitch @undercover-smutlover @noeltako @y2cade @ghostindeath @soundsfunbutno @untoldshortsofthefandoms @emily-roberts @x4vern1a @kuwizo @theimaginaryheir @bitchoftoji @stunkbiggu @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @theredviolets @v1naco @berryjuicyy @serenitysmind @mundane-frogola @sushiumex @thorninspaceandtime @tooruenjoyer123456670 @kingkonig @hotchlover @sebastianstans-slut @chieflawyerpastatoad @enheduannasposts @doodle-cat16 @tiny-kasper @hanellokey @my-green-earth @undeadgod

(Taglist too long lol. Gotta repost with more)

#cod mwii #cod mw2 #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #cod #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick

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thelov3lybookworm · 7 months

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Caged In (part 4)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Day 4: Courtier and emissary

Summary: the secret Y/n had bribed Lucien with is finally revealed.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: 😈

(Yes, thats all i got to say)

(Edit: Also, i dont think theres much angst(?))

@lucienweekofficial

•○🌑○•

The silence that permeated the air nearly suffocated Y/n.

Her ears were wondering why they couldn't hear anything.

Her brain was shaking its head at her.

Her heart was crying.

And her eyes were searching his, trying to find a way to rectify her mouth's mistake.

But he simply stared at her, his face stoic, no emotions that she could understand.

"So. You, are telling me, that Beron, is not my father?"

She nodded, short of words.

"You're telling me, that the male who abused my mother, made my life a living hell, is not the one who sired me?"

Y/n swallowed, blinking back tears as she again nodded.

Lucien started at her as if he didn't recognise her.

"Lucien–"

"No. No. Wait. Let me process what you just said." He began pacing at the foot of his bed, his hands joined in front of his face.

After that night in front of the bonfire, the two of them had slowly started spending less and less time together, limiting their interactions to just nods and hellos in passing in the past week.

An hour ago, Y/n had come into Lucien's room to finally tell him of his parentage, not able to keep it from him any longer. She had already made him wait for seven months now, and he never pushed her to tell him about it.

She had only told him that Beron was not his father. He was yet to know who it was. And she was dreading telling him that.

"How are you so certain that he's not my father?" He asked after a few tense moments, turning to her.

Y/n sighed. "Feyre figured it out."

"And how, exactly, did she figure it out?"

"She... she just did, alright? She saw you near your father and she knew."

"Wait– near my father? Does that mean we know each other?"

Shit.

"Yeah..."

He stiffened, then stalked around the bed to where she was sitting against the headboard, settling in front of her with his hands on her knees.

"Who is he?"

Y/n was regretting telling him about all of this, but now she was in too deep shit to backtrack.

"Um... I think Feyre could also have been wrong, you know. Maybe–"

"Fucking cauldron! Just tell me who it is!" He raised his voice, stunning Y/n for a moment. He sighed. "Look, just tell me who it is."

She swallowed before telling him. "H– Helion."

Time slowed to a crawl, and Lucien simply stared at her.

After what felt like eternity, he spoke up in a soft voice. "Helion. The high lord of day court. Is my..."

"Father. Yes."

He nodded slowly, searching her face as if for a hint of deception. Then he nodded again, more to himself as he stood. He simply stripped of the shirt he was as he began walking to the wardrobe.

Y/n scrambled up to follow him, her heart beating in her throat. "Lucien, hey, where are you going?"

He ignored her, pulling out a different and more elaborately decorated shirt, shrugging it on.

"Lucien–"

He whipped around, fury in his eyes as he stalked up to her. She took a step back, but he grabbed her wrist and pushed her up against the closest wall, his hands resting on either side of her head as he leaned in, caging her in.

She swallowed, searching his eyes.

"You couldn't have told me this before? Or later? Today was the only day you could think of telling me this?" He sneered.

Y/n blinked, taken aback. "Luc–"

"Don't. Just fucking stop speaking and leave me alone. Cauldron." He turned his back to her, rummaging in his wardrobe.

But this time, she ignored him. She wouldn't leave him alone, couldn't.

"What's gotten into you? Why are you acting like this?"

"Why am I acting like this?" He laughed, the sound void of any humor. "Because I just found out who I thought was my father was not my father. I would say my reaction is fucking valid, considering the information you just dropped on me."

"I get it, and you have all the right to react in any way you want, but why are you getting angry at me? And why the hell are you getting ready?"

He released a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. "Because I am supposed to meet him– my real father– in an hour."

Y/n's blood went cold.

This was worse than what she had thought.

"And how the fuck am I supposed to look him in the eye and pretend like nothing happened? Tell me Y/n. Tell me how I am supposed to sit through the dinner party and pretend like everything's alright. That he is not my father."

"Lucien... I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have– I..."

He shook his head. "It's not your fault. You didn't even know I was going to be on emissary duty tonight. You didn't know anything. I'm so sorry." He sat against the wall he had pinned her against, his head in his hand.

She asked down next to him, silent, and placed her head on his shoulder.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I'll have to. Better sooner than later." He laid his head against hers, taking a deep breath.

After a moment, she came to a decision.

The confrontation about to come would be an important one, a hard one. He would need someone nearby.

How many times had he needed to not be on his own, needed someone to be there with him during hard times? He had been alone for far too long, had far too many people abandon him. She was not going to be one of those people.

"I'll come with you."

He looked at her, eyes wide. "Are you mad? You can't come with me. What if the inner circle somehow finds out about your whereabouts? They'll kill the both of us."

"They won't. I mean, they could try..."

He shook his head. "No. You are not coming–"

"Did you think I was asking you? I'm telling you. I'm coming with you. I don't care if they find me and lock me back up. Obviously, you will save me again, won't you?"

He laughed, pained. "Y/n, I still don't think that is a good idea."

"It's alright. I think it's a good idea."

He stared at her. "Why?" He whispered.

She smiled softly. "Because everyone deserves to have someone for them. If I were to do a confrontation with my father, I would definitely need someone near."

He placed a kiss on her head, his hand finding hers. "Thank you."

She grinned at him, and his eyes dropped to her lips.

He stared and stared. He swallowed, his eyes meeting hers before they dropped back to her lips.

"Fuck..." He muttered, looking away.

"I think we should get dressed then?" She mumbled when the silence and the awkwardness became roo much to bear. He nodded, standing up.

She turned to leave, but she couldn't shake the feeling of his heavy stare boring into her back.

•○🌑○•

Lucien's pov.

The dinner went smoothly, and he conversed easily with the High Lord of Day Court. The one who was apparently his father.

Lucien wanted to laugh.

He had been sent here to request some kind of books for the priestesses who resided in the house of Wind. Of course, Helion agreed.

He was nice like that.

And Lucien bad been left to wonder. How would he react to the news Lucien was going to give him later tonight?

Currently, he was in one of the private sitting rooms of the day court, sitting on the couch opposite Helion with a drink in his hand. He hadn't bothered to see what he was drinking.

He sat silently, watching as his father and the love of his– Y/n, teased each other and laughed.

"You look like you have something to say Lucien. Is everything alright?"

Lucien nearly jumped out of his skin when Helion addressed him. Helion's eyes were shining with amusement, but Y/n's eyes were filled with understanding.

"Y/n? If you could give us a moment?"

He had brought her with him so that he could have some emotional support, but she the night progressed, he had come to the conclusion that he needed to do this by himself.

She searched his eyes. "Are you sure?"

He nodded, and she made her way out the door, waving at Helion and giving Lucien an encouraging smile.

"Is everything alright?" Helion questioned, lifting his glass of wine to his lips.

"That or the question, isn't it?"

Lucien asked wryly, building up his courage.

Then, taking a deep breath, the emissary of night court told the High Lord of the day court the truth.

"Apparently, you are my father."

A moment of dead silence.

And then a glass shattered.

•○🌑○•

Part 5

Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @lizziesfirstwife

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therealmsdelulu · 1 year

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My Little Mermaid Part 2:Under the Sea

Series Masterlist

Y/N looked around frantically trying to get sight of the prince. She watched as he sank underneath the surface and quickly swam down and grabbed him. Once she had a hold of him she pulled him back up to the surface and kept him afloat.

MINI TIME SKIP

Play Part of Your World reprise I for the best experience

Y/N dragged the prince to the surface as the sun came up. She lied him down gently on the shore and gently carresed his cheek observing his features. She softly began to hum her siren song. She watched as the prince slowly turned his head.

Sebastian watched in horror from afar, knowing that if the king ever found out about this he would be in big trouble.

"What would I give to live where you are," she softly sang, "what would I pay to stay here beside you."

"What would I do to see you, smiling at me," she continued as she gently caressed a cut that had formed above his brow, "Where would we walk, where would we run, if we could stay all day in the sun." The prince slowly reached for the mermaids hand that had found its way on his chest.

"Just you and me," the mermaid fantasized as the prince slowly opened his eyes, "and I could be part of your world" Her attention was quickly diverted away from the prince when she heard the shouts of several men and watched as they approached the shore with torches and lanterns. She quickly got back in the water and swam behind a rock so that she could watch from afar.

"He's alive," she heard a voice shout.

“Alert the Queen," another voice exclaimed.

"What are you doing child,” Sebastian asked approaching the rocks.

"Oh, hey Sebastian, i wasnt expecting to see you here" Scuttle greeted as she stood on the rock and looked at Y/N, " and i definetly wasn't expecting to see her here.

"Look we just going to forget this whole thing ever happend," the crab suggested,"the sea king will never know, ”the crab continued. "You wont tell him and I won't tell him," the crab explained to both Y/N and the bird. "And I will stay in one piece"

Y/N slowly crept up a rock and watched as the prince was taken back to the palace. "I dont know when," she sang again, "I don't know how,"

"But I know somethings starting right now," she continued to climb up the rock, "Watch and you'll see,"

"Someday I'll be," she sang now that she was fully on the rock.

"Part of your world" she sung as a giant wave crashed behind her.

Y/N's GROTTO

PLAY UNDER THE SEA FOR BEST EXPERIENCE(watch the music video for visuals if you want)

Y/N carefully admired the statue that she collected from the ship wreck. She gently carresed it's face,"Wouldn't you just look at the longing in his eyes," she sighed dreamily

"What do you know about longing child," Sebastian asked. Y/N scoffed and rolled her eyes as she swam out of her grotto.

“Okay okay listen to me the human world is a mess,” Sebastian stated, ”life under the sea is better than anything they got going on up there,” Sebastian sat on a rock next to Y/N and crawled next to her.

“The seaweed is always greener,” the crab sang as he seperated some grass near the rock with his claws,”in somebody elses lake,”

“You dream of going up there,” Sebastian sang as he watched the mermaid attempt to swim to the surface.

“But that is a big mistake,” implied the crab as he pulled Y/N back under the sea which earned a scoff from her, “just look at the world around you right here on the ocean floor”

“Such wonderful things surround you,” Sebastian commented, “what more is you looking for?”

“Under the sea,” the crab sang, “Under the sea"

“Darling its better, down where its wetter,” the crab stated, “take it from me”

“Up on the shore they work all day, out in the sun, they slave away,” Sebastian claimed while swimming around, “while we devoted full time to floatin under the sea”

Sebastian watched as Y/N swam off and scoffed and rolled his eyes before swimming after her.

“Down here all the fish is happy,” sebastian sang as the dolphins swam around happily, “ as off through the waves they roll”

“The fish on the land ain’t happy,” the crab claimed, “ they sad 'cause they in their bowl”

“But fish in the bowl is lucky,” suggested the crab as he hitched a ride on the back of a dolphin “They in for a worser fate,” Sebastian explained to the mermaid.

“One day when the boss get hungry, guess who gon be on the plate,” Sebastian rhetorically asked Y/N while swimming towards her causing her to back away and sit down on a squid.

“Under the sea,” he continued. “Under the sea,” he sang as Y/N lay on the back of the squid and ran her fingers through the coral.

“Nobody beat us, fry us, and eat us in fricassee” the crab exclaimed. “We waht the land folk love to cook,” he explained. “Under the sea we off the hook,”he sang as Y/N swam and danced with the jellyfish.

“We got no troubles,” the crab boasted, “life is the bubbles, under the sea”

“Under the sea,” Y/N sang along.

“Hey, under the sea,” the crab continued glad the girl was understanding.

“Under the sea,” she sang happily as she lay comfortably on the backs of a group of jellyfish

“Yes, child,” he encouraged. “Since life is sweet here, we got the beat here naturally,” he sang to her.

“Naturally,” she adlibbed as she gave the crab a gentle lift causing him to float.

“Even the sturgeon and the ray,” the crab listed as he watched several sting rays swim around happily, “they get the urge and start to play.”

“We got the spirit, you got to hear it,” Sebastian exclaimed as he and Y/N swam around with the various sea creatures, “under the sea”

“Watch this,” the crab announced as he started to dance on the back of a sea turtle and watched the mermaid sit on the back on the back of one,"the newt play the flute, the carp play the harp"

“The plaice play the bass,” he sung as Y/N danced on the back of a turtle as they walked happily on the ocean floor. “And they sounding sharp,” he commented.

“The bass play the brass,” he continued, “the chub play the tub”

“The fluke is the duke of the soul,” he stated, “the ray he can play, the ling’s on the strings, the trout rockin out, the blackfish she sings” Y/N watched in amusement as the starfish stood up and began to sway side to side.

“The smelt and the sprat, they know where it’s at” Sebastian remarked. “And oh the blowfish, blow,” he exclaimed as Y/N gently blew on the blowfish and giggled as it puffed up.

Y/N swam to an area with clustered rocks and sat down on the edge of one as she was surrounded by several beautiful striped creatures that danced around her. She watched happily as the sea mushroom began to dance on the rock next to her and swam towards them to get a closer look.

She became mesmerized as she watched the multicolor squids and stingrays dance together in synch. She soon felt herself being gently lifted into a cave by a jellyfish. She was soon surrounded my several fluorescent jellyfish and was amazed by their beauty. She watched as they collectively spun their tentacles in synchronized movements. Suddenly, she was on the backs of several jellyfish and was being moved towards a slide and childishly giggled as she went down it and as it came to an end she found herself back in the open water.

“Under the sea, “ Sebastian started again with his musical number.

“Under the sea,” Y/N joined in and smiled at the crab.

MEANWHILE AT ERIC’S CASTLE

“I will not rest until I find her, I need a boat I have to get out there” Eric stated stubbornly as he stood up from the table.

“Eric, this is ridiculous,” the Queen rebuttled, “how many times have I told you that the sea gods are against us.”

“Grimsby, how many shipwrecks have we had in these waters this year?” The Queen asked her advisor.

“Um, six your majesty,” he answered as he looked down at his feet.

”You are not leaving this castle until you’re feeling better”

“I’ll feel better when I find her,” Eric remarked as he scoffed at his mother’s statements and walked away and went outside for some fresh air.

*PLAY WILD UNCHARTED WATERS FOR THE BEST EXPERIENCE*

ah, ah, ah, ah

"All I ever wanted,was the open sea and sky,” the prince sang as he walked down near the shore, ”freedom from the life I always knew”

"Now all I am is haunted, as days and hours roll by, “ he sang as he sat down on the edge of a rock, "All I ever think about is you”

"There you are (ah), over me (ah)” he stood up hearing the beautiful voice of the girl who saved him in his head,”taking me with your song to (ah)”

"Wild uncharted waters,” he vocalized as he walked down the stairs, "Miles beyond the sea”

"I was darkness bound, I had almost drowned, til you came around, and you found me,” he ran closer and closer to the shore until he reached the shoreline.

"Now I am on the shoreline, but I'm still lost at sea,” he expressed his feelings through his words as he stood on top of a rock and desperately scanned the sea with his eyes.

"In these wild uncharted waters,” he expressed his desires to see the mystery girl again ,"Come find me, again”

"All I do is wonder,who you are and where you'll be,in my mind, your melody goes on,” he replayed the beautiful melody in his song over and over again.

"Stronger than the undertow,the night you rescued me,” he remembered opening his eyes and seeing a blurry silhouette,"Silhouetted by the rising dawn”

"Oh (ah), over you (ah),” he gently swayed and closed his eyes,"I cannot get over you (ah)"

"In wild uncharted waters,beyond where man can see,” he vocalized as he imagined himself on a ship searching for her,"When your eyes outshine the horizon line”

"And you're finally real, here beside me,I'm right here on the shoreline,” he expressed his desires to have the girl in arms reach.

"I'm right where you left me,and your voice is like, a siren that guides me to wild uncharted waters,” he sang as he envisioned himself climbing up the ship and staring out to the ocean.

"Alone, just you and me,” he fantasized,”And I hope you're there in the open air,”

"There's no map or compass to guide me, no,” he sat down on a pole on the ship,"Time may change the shoreline,but time will not change me”

"If it takes my life,I will finally find you again,” he sang desperately as he looked out into the horizon.

“In wild uncharted waters,” he declared. "Come find me,” he whispered, “again"

OUTSIDE THE PALACE

"Look at this mess," Caspia exclaimed in anger as she picked up debris from the ship.

"Another shipwreck," Karina explained to Y/N while picking up pieces of the ship,"don't they have any idea how much damage they cause"

"Of course they do," Mala suggested as she saw Y/N approaching, "all humans are destructive"

"I don't think they intend to have them," Y/N suggested bravely as her sisters looked at her horrified.

"What about humans," all seven mermaids turned around hearing their fathers voice.

"Look at what they did," Mala exclaimed as her father scanned the scene, “They had another wreck"

All 7 sisters watched as the king picked up a piece of the ship and threw it off the edge of the rock and watched as it hit the ground and caused a loud thud.

KING TRITONS LAIR

"Sebastian," the king's voice called out as a castle guard dropped the crab onto the chair of the king's throne.

"Yes?," the crab asked nervously, "I mean yes your majesty?"

"Have you noticed that my Y/N has been acting different lately," the king inquired staring at the crab.

"Different," the crab asked cautiously trying to see if he was hinting at something, " isn't that how all teenagers act?"

"Tell me," the king asked, "is my little Y/N in love,"

“ Ok yes,she went to the surface and she" the crab began realizing what he said and immdiately stopped.

"She what!" the king asked in anger, "she went to the surface?"

"What, who said anything about the surface," the crab laughed nervously trying to distract the king but he was too late.

Y/N's GROTTO

Y/N was once again admiring the statue when she heard her fathers voice.

"You went to the surface!" the king shouted, "how many times have I told you-"

"Father, I" Y/N jumped up as she started trying to calm him down

"You could get hurt," he yelled, "how many times have i told you that humans are bombarions and savages"

"Not all humans are like that," Y/N attempted to explain

"And how would you know," the king asked

"I saved one," she admitted, " He almost drowned"

"Well you should've let him drown," he shouted, "this obsession with the human world has to stop," The king began to power up his trident and aimed it at one of the many human trinkets in her grotto.

"Father, no" Y/N cried out as she grabbed on the trident in an attempt to stop him but was quickly pushed aside. She watched in horror as her father destroyed one of the items in her collection. "Father, please" she exclaimed as he aimed the trident at the statue and attempted to move it out of harm's way but she was too late. She stared at her father terrified as the statue broke into several parts.

Y/N let out a single tear as her father left and she picked up the unattached hand of the statue.

"Oh you poor unfortunate soul, Daddy's been so unfair, hasn't he?" A mysterious voice called out to the mermaid.

A/N: I might stop adding the songs tbh not sure, lmk how you guys like it. Couldn’t really write the visuals for Wild Uncharted Waters as thorough and accurately as i wanted because I didn’t know if he was actually on a boat or if it was just his imagination. My writing is lowkey horrible but imma work on it I promise lol.

#prince eric x reader #jonah hauer king x reader #prince eric #prince eric fanfic #Prince Eric x you #prince eric x y/n #jonah hauer king x y/n #the little mermaid fanfiction #prince eric fanfiction

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onwardevan · 9 days

Text

My bsf’s Manager (Alex x y/n)

Warnings: uhhhhh grinding? Slight smut, smut lead up, idk if there’s anything else.

I sat at my house, watching tv like I always do. Well I was more interested in the FaceTime with my bsf. She was telling me all the drama at her new Job. I dont know what it’s called I just know it’s this random porn store?

“Yeah, my manager, whose name is Alex, I think he’s your type?” She said.

“Whats he look like?” I asked.

“Uhm I don’t… I have a picture of me and him! Let me send it hold up!” She said.

I waited for it to send until I finally got it. He was pretty attractive?

“Yeah, he’s also got a nice voice that I think you’ll also like.” She teased.

“Okay okay, y’all are gonna have to come over some time so I can at least know him a little bit?” I laughed.

“Oh you’ll get to know him. You’ll get to know him well…” she smirked.

“Okay. Well I’m gonna go cause I gotta shower, I’ll call you later though okay?” I said.

“Awwww, bye girl, hope you like the pic I sent.” She said and winked before I hung up.

I smiled before I got up and went to go shower. While I was in there Amy kept blowing up my phone, I didn’t know until I got out though. When I got out I saw messages on messages about her manager.

‘I TOLD HIM ABT YOU AND HE SAID HE WANTS TO MEET YOU!’

‘HE THINKS YOUR PRETTY’

‘WERE HANGING OUT TN, SO GET READY!!!’

WHAT. I start d freaking out looking for something to wear. I needed something that was gonna make me look sexy, but not like I was trying.

I landed on a satin pajama set.

I then sat in my bed and did alllll my skin care. I didn’t wanna seem Ashy infront of my man?

After I did all that skin care I sat in my bed and waited for the ‘I’m here’ text. I waited 5 fucking minutes.

“Heyy!” I opened the door. I wanted to scream when I saw him in real life. He looked like an Angel.

“Hey!” Amy winked at me after seeing what I was wearing.

“Hi!” Her manager smiled and looked me up and down before going to my living room.

I sat and we started talking about our lifes. I was bored, really bored. But then Amy (being a good friend) got up.

“Oh yeah, I’m gonna go get my jacket I left here hold on. You said it was in your room right?” Amy asked. At first I didn’t get it, but then I did.

“W- yeah, it should be by the foot of my bed.” I said.

“Great!” Amy smiled and went to my room.

“So uh… how are you?” I asked.

“I’ve been doing good? What about you?” He asked.

“I’ve been alright? Did you like the cookies I made, cause you have some on your face..” I laughed.

“Wait really, where?” He asked as he frantically wiped his face. I took this as my opportunity.

“Right here.” I got up and acted like I was wiping a crumb off his face. We were inches apart.

“Uhm…” he said.

“Fuck it.” I said before I kissed him.

His wasted no time in kissing back. I crawled forward and into his lap so that I was more comfortable. Then I placed my hands on the back of his neck as he placed his on my waist.

We continued to make out for about 2 minutes. I felt his very obvious bulge and slowly ran my hands down his body until I reached it. His breath hitched as I started to rub his bulge. He breathed out heavily and pulled away, looking down at my hand.

“F-fuck…” he sighed and squeezed my waist.

It seemed he had completely forgotten about Amy. And thank god cause she had left around 1 minute into our make out.

He threw his head back against the couch, his eyes shut tightly as his jaw went slack. I wasn’t paying attention to that though, I was paying more attention to his adams apple as it bobbed with every moan he let out.

He let out a loud moan and instantly sat up, grabbing my wrist making me stop.

“What? Did I do something wrong?” I panicked.

“No,not at all! But what about Amy… isn’t she in your room…” he said.

“Oh. No, she left a while ago.” I said.

“Good.”

#evan peters #smut #evan peters smut

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gutsfics · 2 months

Note

1, 3, 9, 22, and 24 from the OC Interview Questions for Devi please!!!

yaaay thank you!!!! :3 ok im going Devi Mode now >:3

1. Who makes up your family? How close are you to them?

well there's my mom and dad, and i have an older sibling, Avery, and two older sisters, Kennie and Satomi. im pretty close with all of them, especially my parents! tbh though it kinda feels like the five years i was dead made me miss a lot of my siblings' lives so theres like a sort of.... glass wall? i think? thats five years i cant get back, and they're all enough older than me that i wasnt really raised "with" them so much as i was raised after them, you know?

also Noah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Noah's been such a big part of my (un)life that it would be wrong not to call him family <3 plus also hes my boyfriend :3

3. What is your favorite childhood memory?

so Jane's favorite fruit is-- um... was [he looks kinda sad for a moment, but shakes it off] blackberries, but she was allergic to the brambles so when it was blackberry season, i'd crawl into bushes to get the juciest berries for her

anyway the september before, um.... she got a bit sick in september and i wanted to cheer her up so Noah and i went to the biggest blackberry bush we'd found in the forest and i picked as many blackberries as i could for her while Noah kept me company (cuz he's also allergic so he couldnt join me in the bush). we werent as close back then as we are now, and i dont remember really what we talked about, but i remember that it was one of the last warm days of the year as the season changed, and the forest was so pretty and i felt like nothing could ever go wrong

its, um, kind of a sad memory. bittersweet, i mean. but its important to me

9. Are you a spiritual person? If yes, what do you practice?

now that's a really interesting question. i know that there is a sort of "higher power" that exists in the world, but it's not really God, or A God or anything consious really. its more like.... a membrane woven into the world that makes it what it is. like a membrane holding back some kind of juice? God Juice. and there's that spot in the mountains where the membrane has been punctured so more of God Juice is flooding out of that hole than there should be in the world, and i was part of that god juice, and i think that god juice is now a part of me? or it made me or something? and if i focus, really focus hard, i can kinda hear the way the universe sings? not always though

but um. i dont really know if that counts as spirituality. and i dont "practice" anything it just... kinda is? i try to be nice to people and the world but that doesnt feel like "practicing spirituality"

22. What’s the easiest way to flirt with you?

ummm haha ohh..... i dont really know how to answer that..... growing up i was usually either ignored or bullied so its always so weird whenever someone flirts with me. its always like, are you talking to me?? oh, no thanks. i already got a guy for that

and Noah's not really a flirty guy. he'll walk into the underworld to carry me back home, for sure, but he doesnt really do flirting. unless you count just open and honest statments about how you feel about someone as flirting? i'll flirt with him absolutely, but usually gets too flustered to flirt back. its really cute

24. What would you consider your main love language?

spending years of your life devoted to taking care of someone who's lost everything, through thick and thin, even when things get hard, on days when they dont seem particularly... connected to their humanity. just being a constant in their life, a lighthouse in the middle of a typhoon, grounding them when theyre too lost to find solid ground on their own. walking into the unknown to grasp their soul and bring them back from the brink, even if that means everything changes, even if it means you yourself could get stuck yourself. would you still love me if i was a worm. would you still care for me i had nothing to give you but my company and my love, even if my company doesnt mean my touch or my conversation. would you still love me if i couldn't remember who you were.

um.

sorry. what was the question?

oh right! i think my love language is physical touch and acts of service and quality time. both giving and receiving them.

#it lives in the woods #ilitw mc #<- yeah i really like some of these answers too much not to post em in a main tag #oc: devfield

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kyeomyun · 3 months

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YOU GUYS DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE WAR I HAD TO GO THROUGH OMFG

SO I FINALLY GO INTO MY ROOM AFTER BEING IN THE LIVING ROOM FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG AND THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING ROACH.

LAYING FACE DOWN ASS UP IN FRONT OF MY DOOR.

SO I DID THE ONLY KNOWLEDGEABLE THING.......

DROWN THAT BITCH IN FEBREEZE.

SPRAYED THAT 6 OR... 8 LEGGED MF UNTIL THE LEGS STOPPED HAVING THEIR LITTLE SEZIURE.

NOW I PLOTTED MY NEXT AMAZING PLAN AND THAT WAS GETTING THAT NOW DEAD ASF WALKING DISEASE OUT OF MY MOTHERFUCKING ROOM AND HOW YOU MAY ASK? WELL WELL WELL... DONT I HAVE THE ANSWER FOR YOU.

GET A BROOM AND TRY TO PUSH THAT CREATURE OUTSIDE MY HOUSE. BUT THST DIDNT WORK SINCE THE BOTTOM PART OF THE DOOR OPENING IS TO HIGH SO I COULDNT PUSH THE BITCH OUT.

THEN WE HAD TO SWITCH TO PLAN B WHICH I WANTED TO AVOID AND THATS WHY I DIDNT DO IT FIRST. GET A DUSTPAN AND SWEEP THAT CRAWLING PIECE OF SHIT ONTO IT AND CARRY IT INTO THE BATHROOM DOWN THE HALL.

worst 3 seconds of my life.

DROPPED THAT DECEASED DUMBASS INTO THE TOILET AND FLUSHED BUT GUESS WHAT?

THE LITTLE DECEASED, 8-LEGGED WALKING SHIT STAIN, BODY CAME BACK UP AND I WAS LIKE... WTH????? GO DOWN THE TOILET.

2 MKRE TIMES AND THE 4TH TIME THAT SOULESS CRITTER CAME BACK UP BUT THE WINGS WERE OUT. NOW I WAS SO CLOSE TO CALLING IT QUITS AND WANTED TO HEAD BACK INTO MY ROOM AND MAKE SOMEONE ELSE DEAL WITH MY VICTORY ROYALE IN THE TOILET BUT THE MOMENT I STEPPED OUT INTO THE HALLWAY, GUESS WHO TF WAS THERE?

THIS BITCH MOM. CRAWLING OUT OF MY PARENTS ROOM LOOKING LIKE SHE ATE AT LEAST OF SERVINGS I ATE WHEN I GOT HOME.

I FROZE. LITERALLY BC WHAT IN THE LIVIJG HELL DO I DO? TRY TO KILL IT? WHAT IF THE ASSHOLE STARTS FLYING AT ME?

SO I LET HER DO HER THING BC THERE WAS A VENT SO I THOUGHT "OH WHAT IF SHE JUST CRAWL HER 8-LEGGED BOB THE BUILDER ASS BODY INTO THE VENT OR TONIGHT WAS GOING TO BE HER LAST FEAST"

BUT THAT CRUMBLING ABOMINATION STARTED CRAWLING TOWARDS ME.

AFTER HAVING 182838 PANIC ATTACKS, THE LORDS HAD BLESSED ME BY WAKIJG MY FATHER UP (it was 12 AM) AND I JUST POINTED TO THE WALKING CRUMB INVENTORY AND HE GOT THE BROOM AND STARTED TRYING TO KILL IT. BUT GUESS WHAT?

WHEN MY DAD WENT TO PUT IT IN THE TOILET, IT WASNT THERE. THE MF VANISHED. GONE. NADA. NOT THERE.

AFTER BEING IN COMPLETE DISBELIEF THAT A FOOD CRAWLER IS ON THE LOOSE IN MY HOUSE THE SIZE OF 2 HERSHEY KISSES, I WENT BACK TO THE TOILET AND FINALLY GOT MY FIRST VICTIM DOWN THE DRAIN.

it is currently almost 1 AM now, I am paranoid to even lay down in the comfort of my bed bc what if the dad is there to seek revenge? what if the mom is lurking around for the roach slaughter who killed her son?

update: the roach mom was in my room (THANK GOD IT WAS DEAD)

#{🫗} — jada spills :)#also i have a literal paranoia of roaches #a roach crawled on my face before while i was sleeping but those baby ones #and recently when i was about to take my 2 hour shower #mama pig roach and her newphew tom were hanging out on my towel when i picked it up #never jumoed out of the shower so fast #but thats the lil story time 😍😍😍

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ddreamzee · 1 year

Text

The Eighth Sense Thoughts

okay so when i watch dramas i always write notes about how i felt after watching an episode, just to like look back on but like they’re actually funny so i wanted to post some on here to share.

since the eighth sense just ended, here are my thoughts while watching the eighth sense. it’s kind of random but if you’ve seen it it’ll probably make sense. don’t take this seriously bc i just word vomit on all of these lmao and the dashes in between indicate a new episode.

---------oh also HELLA SPOILERS AHEAD----------

blueming vibes idk it's university set - bro she built differenttt. the vibes are so different compared to other korean bl's. it's kind of like itsay a bit? but like with better characters and a better story so far. i like jihyun too, his friend tho is so annoying like always bugging him about going out and joining the surf club, like bro he's a country boy in a new city and school, he wants to try new things stfu (it's also an excuse to see the cute guy he met but shhh) - tell me how jaewon's ex has the audacity to be annoyed at jihyun. she's just mad bc jaewon is giving him so much attention and hanging out with him and being close to him, girl did you expect jaewon too come crawling back to you even tho you're the reason why you guys broke up? he was in the military so he definitely didn't do anything to and everyone's saying that she cheated on him so who you think we gon believe? you fucked up ur relationship yourself and you're salty that he don't want you anymore. you're mad that he's content and doesn't think about you anymore, that he found someone else to take care of and be around. stay mad roach lmao - i love this so far omggg. jihyun keeps reminding me of cha junho btw. but like jihyun and jaewon like each other so muchhhh. like it's so natural, the way they constantly find each other and just abruptly hang out. they LITCHRALLY went on a date to the han river. tell me that wasn't a date. and i am living for jaewon's attitude towards his ex. he really couldn't give any less of a fuck about her and she over here embarrassing herself. she acts like she don't care but then she'll squeal to her friends that he went surfing bc of her and asked to partner with her for an assignment, delusional ass bitch lmao. she gets so pissed whenever jaewon is with jihyun, it's funny watching her be jealous. you wish that was you huh? and like jaewon and jihyun are just going with the flow with each other. the touches, the gentle hang holding, asking about dating, how jihyun always makes jaewon smile just by existing. AND THEY ALMOST KISSED AGAIN, THEY LEANED IN UNTIL JIHYUN'S STUPID ASS FRIEND HAD TO BE NOSY. GET LOST BRO. oh and i love jihyun's boss, she cares about him a lot and defended him when jaewon's ex was bullying him. also that girl that seemed to like jihyun is actually one of the girliesss, she just wanted to be friends. but girl you really made it seem like you liked him. i guarantee she did like him but then realized he was uncomfortable but she still wanted to be close so she said she just wanted to be friends. but i am living for this series it's so fucking good, i love the vibes. it does annoy me how much they eat and drink tho like god damn is that all they fucking do? wanna go drink? wanna go get lunch? we should have a meal sometime! i get that 's like the social life of korean university students but jesus christ good thing i ain't studying abroad anymore, i dont think i could survive this shit - BRO THEY'RE SO IN LOVE I'M SCREAMING. god they like each other so much. they are the only ones who fully understand each other. and that kiss scene in the water that started out as teasing but ended with them fully kissing bitchhhh. the tension is real out here. and like then after they were LITCHRALLY cuddling on the beach,, SHIRTLESS bein all cute n shit. like under the covers just messing with each other, biting each other, poking their faces and just enjoying each others company. i am living. but then wtf was that ending. jihyun drowned? but jaewon got him out but it ends with jaewon sitting on the beach alone. idk maybe it was a nightmare or something bc it was after the cuddling scene so they probably fell asleep and jaewon had that dream. either way i need them being sickeningly sweet in front of jaewon's ex, like holding hands, hugging or even kissing JUST SOMETHING. I NEED THIS BITCH TO KNOW HER PLACE, SHE AIN'T JAEWON'S GF ANYMORE SIT DOWN, JAEWON DON'T NEED YOU NO MORE. - JIHYUN'S FINE DON'T WORRY OMG. JAEWON PUNCHED HIS FRIEND WHO MOCKED JIHYUN'S ACCIDENT THO AND ALMOST GOT SUSPENDED BUT JIHYUN SAVED HIS ASS. THAT ROACH IS STILL ACTING LIKE JAEWON LIKES HER AGAIN AND THAT THEY'RE TOGETHER WHICH WE ALL KNOW IS A FUCKING LIE. BUT JAEWON IS ALSO AVOIDING THE SHIT OUT OF JIHYUN AND LITERALLY ASKED HIM TO FORGET ALL ABOUT THEIR TRIP, WHAT THEY SAID WHAT THEY DID, THE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS THEY HAD, FORGET IT ALL! I KNOW DAMN WELL JAEWON STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR HIM AND SO DOES JIHYUN, BUT JAEWON'S TRAUMA IS MAKING HIM STEP AWAY BC HE DOESN'T WANT THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENED TO HIS BROTHER TO HAPPEN TO JIHYUN. HE THINKS HE'LL HURT JIHYUN SOMEHOW - IT GOT A GOOD ENDING THANK GOD I REALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE GASLIGHTING US IN THE LAST EPISODE BC THEY WERE GETTING ALONG AND BEING SO CUTE, JAEWON SAYING CLEARLY THAT THEY WERE DATING, EVERYTHING JUST CAME TOGETHER PERFECTLY AT THE END I REALLY WAS EXPECTING ONE OF THEM TO DIE OR SOMETHING. them kissing scenes thooooo. and joonpyo and yoonwon got together. but fr like jihyun sent jaewon that conan gray song and that's all it took for him to finally realize he needed to be with jihyun and that man came runnin. but he's such a cute boyfriend, we stan. and even until the very end his annoying ex was trying to get with him, literally like kissing him in front of jihyun and everything. jaewon said no no i don't play that hetero shit no more. SHE HAD THE NERVE TO TRY TO LIE TO HIM ABOUT CHEATING ON HIM UNTIL HE TOLD HER HE LITERALLY SAW HER GO INTO A MOTEL WITH A GUY AND GO ON A BREAKFAST DATE THE NEXT MORNING. SHE REALLY TRIED IT HUH. jaewon caught ur slimy ass and he was so nice about it too, jaewon is better than me cause i woulda laughed in her face if she pulled that shit. but he said it was okay, that he understood and was sorry. I'M SORRY BUT WHAT IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND OR BE SORRY ABOUT??!?! SHE CHEATED ON YOU WHILE YOU WERE IN THE ARMY, SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE TO DO. SHE KEPT SAYING I WAS LONELY I WAS LONELY, WELL GET SOME FRIENDS, GET A PET GET A DAMN HOBBY. THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT YOUR BOYFRIEND WHO IS SACRIFCING HIS LIFE RN WHILE YOU OUT HERE SNOGGING OTHER MEN. YEAH I SAID SNOGGING. S N O G G I N G. IF YOU REALLY LOVED HIM YOU WOULD HAVE WAITED, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. I WOULD HAVE WAITED. YOU REALLY THAT THIRSTY YOU CAN'T WAIT FOR HIM?? LIKE YOUR LOSS THEN ROACH, YOU LOST YOURSELF A FINE ASS MAN. anyways yes jihyun and jaewon are so fucking cute i love them to pieces, jaewon is perfect boyfriend material. the cuddling, clinging, hand holding, shoulder resting, all of the above. yes. and the ending seemed like they were gonna go to the beach again but it felt like the beginning of a new chapter for them. like they are setting it up for a sequel. it really seem like we might get a sequel for this, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE ME A SEQUEL

Rating: 10/10

other reviews

#i'll probably post more #i used to do this a lot before but i kinda stopped lmao #the eighth sense #korean bl #kbl #bl drama #bl series #im jisub #oh juntaek #thai bl #thai bl drama #kdrama #multi bl #asian bl drama #asian bl series #asian bl #blueming

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vczcv · 1 year

Text

its really hard to not try again

its really not that easy to just keep pretending it isnt in my closet

its only 6 feet away from me, all i have is in my closet

they say everyone is bound to have a ghost in the back of your closet

what if that ghost is her

shes waiting to prevail

the closet, its, half my mind, half my brain is dead, waiting to be preserved

do you feel bugs crawling on your skin everyday?

when washing your hands, do you get the urgent perfect picture in your mind of slicing your bright blue veins to ring?

when you sleep do you wake up in a cold pool of guilt and sweat?

sweet dreams about the forgotten are left by morning

she says that if we start now we'll have to be careful

whats the worst that could happen?

i say, everyday, everything and everyone can always be worse, and she says nothing and noone can possibly be worse

the last time we tried i passed out on the bathroom floor

the last time they saw, he threatened to send me away again

is is really worth it all?

she says, of course it is, its worth it all

life under feeling, she prefers feeling over living

i think living isnt living if you arent alive

so what is missing?

its so beautiful to see, we both agree

we both hope the prophecy succeeds

so why cant i start again now?

maybe, unrealistical, but we both agree

i think the only thing holding me is laziness or fear, but why?

we both want to see it, smell it, feel it, taste it, so why shouldn't it be lived?

this was never fun, but maybe it can be now, maybe we can adjust

nothing she wants is healthy enough for her

they know eachother so well but neither know who they are

a doll stuck in another realm, but walking in the same house

shed do anything to repair her half, shed do everything to see her pure

if clean is the opposite of dirty what is the opposition of purity?

ive held my throat for you, and shes been sitting with her hands on her chin undelivered

hold your breath as long as possible in fabric or suffocate yourself for fun?

she knows theres no point in that anymore, breathlessness, she breathes out and in the sickness

beat her blood for control, squeezing organs for love

play games of childhood for closing the closet temporarily

i think everything is too complicsted for the living, she thinks everything is too simple for the breathing

i control her more than she can control me, nonetheless i wish she could take our role and stand in the spotlight to shine in grine

we will have to keep suffering in the waitlist

i hope she retrieves the ghost to bleed

the retrieval of the revenue is near

we are awaiting the release

please dont take your time

it is you who must save us after she compensates

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nervouslaughter05 · 1 year

Text

Stars to Comfort a Lonely Moon

C/W: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kissing, Angst, inspired by "dont look for me in the sunset when I die", inspired by the song "It's Called: Freefall, really sad and angsty, kinda happy ending?

A/N: I'm so sorry this is the first work I bring to the fandom, but this has been living in my head for the past week and I finally decided to crank something out for this today during some free time I had. "Grizzly", the woman in this piece, is an OC I made who is very near and dear to my heart. I have a fic (that's much happier) in the works at the moment that I'll begin to share once I've gotten some decent headway on it. Chapter one is actually almost done! So maybe in the next few days?

Also, please heed the tags and comment below any you find necessary.

Last chance to turn away. I will be completely honest when I say this wrecked me a little to write. Considering you've stuck around this long, enjoy the piece.

Recommended listening: "It's Called: Freefall" by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

Inspired by this TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bejadoodles/video/7203248315381714182?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7195436189938271790

Called to the Devil and the Devil said

Hey! Why you been calling this late?

It's like 2 A.M. and the bars all close at 10 in hell, that's a rule I made

Anyway, you say you're too busy saving everybody else to save yourself

And you don't want no help, oh well

That's the story to tell

Death was something Ghost had come to accept as something normal in life.

With the horrors he’d seen, the people he’d lost, the stories he was told, it wasn't exactly unusual.

He didn’t rush into danger trying to die purposefully, but it was definitely something where if he were to be injured gravely he wouldn’t complain at the prospect of dying.

At least, that’s what he had told himself for years.

Upon joining the 141, this was still true.

After Las Almas where he had dragged Grizzly, unconscious, from the bullets pelting down around them and guided Johnny, injured, through the city, this lessened slightly.

After sharing a quiet moment with Grizzly when they had to hunker down in her father’s house in Alaska, this faded to a murmur.

After the first time they kissed, this evaporated.

That’s what made right now so terrifying.

Because suddenly he was actually wanting to live, wanting to claw his way from the grave just to keep breathing crisp air through his broken lungs.

Seeing her sent a sharp stab of something he didn’t want to name through his chest. She was limp, blossoms of red unfurling from beneath her glove covered fingers. He stumbles, collapsing onto one knee onto the dirt.

“What do you think of the idea of looking at a sunset to remember someone who’s died?” Grizzly asks, leaning back on her hands from her spot sitting in the grass.

He glances at her from his peripheral vision, shrugging. “I’d rather have someone look at the moon.”

She turns her head to look at him. “Why’s that?”

“It stands out like a sore thumb and despite that, it’s alone.”

Grizzly shuffles, trying to raise her upper body up. He gets back to his feet, limping to her prone form in the grass. His other leg gives out this time, sending him back to the ground. Ghost doesn’t care–he crawls to her, shifting so he is sitting upright against a rock in the middle of the clearing with her cradled in his lap. She breathes shakily, hand clutching at the red seeping through the fabric of her shirt.

With her free hand, she reaches for one of his, tangling their fingers together. Then she pulls back, tugging off her glove with her teeth and prompting him to do the same with a weak whisper of his name–not the callsign, but Simon. Her hand is small in the grasp of his own, somehow still not nearly as calloused and rough as his own.

His own wounds are forgotten in that moment and the stabbing pain in his head is pushed away in favor of the sensation of her fingers against his.

The woman fell silent, a thoughtful expression slipping onto her face. Eventually, when Ghost was sure she wouldn’t say anything, she murmurs, “Then look for me in the stars.”

He is silent, looking up at the night sky.

She waits a moment before continuing, words equally as soft as before. “So the moon won’t be alone anymore.”

Night was fallen, covering their forms in the gentle light of the moon and the harshness of the shadows around them.

The moon hung in the sky, stars twinkling into existence around it. They blur together in his sight, and that’s how Simon realizes he’s actually crying. The moisture dampens his balaclava, making it stick to his skin uncomfortably.

The hand clutching her side reaches up to his mask, tugging on the edge of the balaclava resting on his neck. Simon doesn’t hesitate, tugging the balaclava off his face and mussing up his hair in the process. The blood flooding from her wound is slowing down, leaking in a lazy stream now.

She smiles up at him, looking behind his head at the sky. “The stars are out.”

Simon chokes back a sob, nodding his head, his free hand cupping the back of her head. “So’s the moon.”

Ghost looked over at her fully, eyes trailing over the way the light of the moon fell over her features. Her eyes shone in the darkness, filled with a depth he wanted to drown in. She looked at him with nothing but honesty. It tugged at something in his chest, stirring the grieving beast inside of him.

“What if the moon wants to be alone?”

“Simon,” she breathes, breath going shallow as she winces. “I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, pulling her close as a fog begins to settle over his brain. It urges him to sleep, to close his eyes and fall into the abyss. “Don’t.”

It’s all he can manage to say past the choking lump in his throat. She seems to understand, grasping his shoulder to pull herself up. Hand still grasping his own, she brushes the other over his cheek, cupping it in her palm and resting her forehead against his. He holds her close by the hand on the back of her head, helping to keep her upright.

“Simon,” she says, voice full of reverence. “The moon won’t be alone anymore.”

“It doesn’t,” Grizzly replies easily, looking back up at the sky. “The way he acts says the opposite.”

She looks back at him again, gaze soft. He meets her eyes, that feeling stirring in his chest again. It chips away at the walls he put up, spilling through the cracks.

“But the stars won’t shine,” Simon tells her, holding her as close as he can.

She chuckles again, breath ghosting over his lips. “The stars only shine so long as the moon does too. They can’t be-” She winces again. “Can’t be separated.”

One of his hands reaches up, bare palm against her cheek as his thumb strokes underneath her eye. She leans into his touch, tilting to lay a gentle kiss against his skin while holding his palm against her skin with her own. Ghost doesn’t know who leans in first, but before he knows it, his balaclava is shoved over his nose and their lips are slotted together.

It’s soft and tender to start with.

Then that ugly thing in his chest rears its head, pressing him to hold the back of her head and kiss her harder.

Grizzly responds in kind, hands roughly grasping at his shoulders.

She falls back onto the grass, his body over hers as he worships her with his touch.

“No?” Simon questions, wishing that he could just mold their bodies together.

“No,” she affirms, eyes starting to drift closed. “Never.”

He hums, and she nuzzles closer.

The blood–hers, his, it doesn’t matter anymore–is sticky on his clothes, but he can’t bring himself to care.

“And the stars could never shine without the moon,” Grizzly growls against his lips.

He swallows the sound of her voice, staking a claim on her from the searing kiss. He takes and takes and takes and she just lets him, taking and taking and taking in her own way. They were both broken and hurting, granted at different levels, but still were coming together in a clashing of emotion.

It burns and soothes the ugly thing in his chest, nourishing and depleting his soul at the same time.

Her hand falls from his cheek, eyes fluttering nearly shut as the rise and fall of her chest stills. He can feel the own aching in his body fading into a numb sting, eyelids as heavy as her body in his arms. Simon exhales, breath dispersing in a puff of white into the cool air.

The darkness swallows him whole, except instead of painful it’s gentle.

He doesn’t fear it–just like before–but because of different reasons this time.

The embrace is welcome, because he knows that there’s someone waiting on the other side.

A/N: I'm sorry for putting you guys through this

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x female oc #call of duty #mw2 #ghost call of duty #simon riley #angst #inspired by a song #inspired by a tiktok

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groupwest · 9 months

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i want help.. but i cant ask for help… i have to be big and do things on my own… but i need help… i need help i need help….. i do wish i had a partner who could help me… my friends.. cant… they are all too dependent like me… i’m the one always offering help to them… sometimes they will help me with big things like moving house but its the little things that i need support in… i have a social worker but he doesnt offer the kind of help that i need… UAAAARGH i want my mother. and i want her to be different and to help me. i wish she’d continued to smother me like when i was little… it hurt so bad when she detached that codependency… its a good thing but i never really learned how to do things on my own…… its not fair. i want my old life back why is it so hard to be here. i feel so alone and it all feels so wrong and it feels like there should be an answer or a solution but i cant see it and everything feels so wrong and i cant move and feel my body like i used to it feels so heavy and wrong and i cant see it i cant feel it it feels so wrong i’m so detached i thought i missed the delusions but i can feel them coming and it feels so wrong… fuck this isnt going to work is it i cant live here. i want to fix this so bad i want to be a real person. nothing comforts me anymore. only maybe my phone. which sucks so bad and is why i cant get anything done. i wanted to puke and cut myself so bad last night for the first time in a long time, i mean sometimes i get those feelings but it was really strong. maybe its a good thing. ive been more impulsive lately and maybe its a good thing. feels like when you start taking meds and finally have the enwrgy to try and kill uourself. i feel so broken though and like i cant move. i wish i had my room again. my soul is fucking disintegrating without four walls to keep it contained. i didn’t realise i was so depressed i guess it caught up with me. i guess this is just one single moment in time and these feelings dont have to be permanent at all i can let them go. i can let them go i can let them go i can let them go. i managedto soothe myself yesterday… but then we had to go out and it was horrible i almost could have had a meltdown in public which NEVER never ever happens. maybe its a good thing too. i think ive been masking less lately. it doesnt feel good though. feels horriblw and embarrassing to be myself. this self. it seems so weak and so tiny and so stupid. i want to live alone. i want help. i hate myself for these contradictions. why have i been the same for so long. why did i let it all go one like i had no power over it. when i always did. it makes me really angry to think how easy it has been to almost give up smoking this past week. its been several years of sameness. will it be this easy when everything else suddenly changes as well ? have i always held the power to do so ? why’d i have to ruin my teenage years like this then ? it feels horrible. it feels cruel. why cant i make better choices for myself why cant i take my life i to my own hands. ?!! its horrible. i wish i was anyone else. i feel so close to understanding everything i need to to make the most of life but i just hold myself back every single step of the way. i hate my family for letting me be like this. they had so much more than me. now they don’t even appreciate it. they just teach me all the wrong things and enable my neurosis. i dont know. thats cruel to say. but its how i feel. i want help but ill never let anyone in becuz i cant make anyone understand me. i know its all my fault. i just don’t know how to fix it. i wish i was anyone else. i want to crawl up into the inside of my own brain and die. like a sick old cat. all alone.

#no one should read this (youre allowed it just is awful) i just need to post it for some reason its not good enough just saving to my drafts #i need this shit out of my head and into tje air #self harm #emeto #sorry let me know if this needs more tags

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spiritual-meat-grinder · 1 month

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i need to stop wondering about death but the question keeps running through my mind if not by suicide, then how? it seems impossible for me to die on accident even thinking about it feels like im pushing against fate itself bones cracking skin falling off through the sheer force of it i try to knock her down, get her the hell away from me, but when she steps back i stop dead in my tracks i take in the sleeves in hot weather, the haunted eyes, the demons crawling in her skull some things never really change do they? fungi takes root in her skin and it stays to fester in mine i thought i'd be dead by now the next death date is in 3 years then after that it's another 7? 12? then another decade and then i lost count i had a plan a plan carved into hard rock and slammed into my brain, numbing my mind to the thought of dying i dont want to die anymore and some people wouldnt believe me when i say that, some people would think that if i cant think about the future i must be right about to step into oncoming traffic and become just some guts splattered on a windshield but i promise you, although im lost, im not a loss you have to count yet im here im alive im still alive alive when i thought i wouldn't be and although i cant always believe it, i believe i'll make it past 18 even past 30 past 40 50 past my life i can do it ive made it this far and i still cant imagine that future, still feels like im losing my mind but i keep it as numbers on a page numbers that are nothing because i take it day by day now and now i can even say i wont be dead next month, im doing better, a lot better than i was i promise to live so i can see the news tomorrow and tomorrow ill promise again and again and again and again before i know it decades will have passed before i know it ill have lived my life

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tearstoshed4ever · 4 months

Text

"Please, love. Calm yourself. Remember your vow....Things will get better in time." Widow said, trying to console her.

iv tried but al its gotten me is this

emily sniffled

getinering to her arm again

she wiped her tears on the hem of her mothers dress

todays is a very hard day for me

id be 19 today

but inseed im stuck at 18 forever

which in itself wouldnt be so bad

but on top of everthing esle i aslo miss my family

mommy

daddy

lydia

but i never see any of them anymore

im fucking sick of being dead

i want to be alive again

surly there must be some way

Jul 1, 2021 11:47 PM

to revrese this mistake

and let me go back home to my family

she turned back to maggot and widow

maggot was hurt and ready to cry at the of her leaving

widow was alos hurt but maily cause emily spoke like she didnt think they were a good enough family

oh maggot dont u start crying again

i just manged to stop

and widow dont look at me that way

if i hurt your feelings im sorry

u know i think of u as my family

and that i love both more then anything in the world

but i dont belong here

i belonge upstaires

and i think my vow was a mistake

i know i said i would wait as long as it takes but im tired of waiting

i dont want to be patent anymore

iv tried to be happy here but its not working

please tell me is there even the sightst chance i can live again

if so ill anything

Jul 2, 2021 4:47 AM

Maggot and widow looked at each other, trying to come up with an answer. "There's not a way we know dear, not until a human caused a fuss by raising his cousin from the tomb. But that was ages ago." Widow said sadly. "Elder goodnicht might know. But I doubt he would help," maggot suggested

(whars the raising the dead thing from

emilys black eyes lit up and she smiled for the fisrt time that day

"Oh, what a fantastic idea!

she squealed jumping up

ill go see him right now

maggot u stay here with widow

we dont need a repete of last year

(from what?)

(it was from the bible. Jesus raising Lazarus.)

"Gladly. Just make sure she doesn't go petting all those smelly old crows!" Maggot said back.

emily just rolled her eyes that was excaty why she told him to stay

ill be back later

and with that she left the ally

u know u just set her up for dissappment

widow said

shes gonna end up getting her poor little heart crushed

hey i was just trying to help

maggot protested

i know and thats very kind of u

and your one to talk widow your the one whos always trying to keep her hopes up

Jul 2, 2021 7:09 PM

"well somebody has to! Tge poor girl is devastated!" Widow snapped

why are u pissed at me what the hell did i do now

maggot snapped back

Jul 2, 2021 9:36 PM

"I'm not pissed I'm just...I'm afraid for Emily. I didn't mean to take it out on you, love. You're just so darn candid." Widow said

im scared for her to i thought she was over this bullshit

uptill today she seemed fine

no nightmares

no crying

she was eating and talking to people

she wasnt even crying in her sleep anmore

and id know if she was cause i live in her head now

but now shes right back where she stared from

she hasnt left her room all day

she looks like shit

she hasnt eaten

shes crying again

and now shes hurting herself

and wants to leave

i dont think shed even want us as parents

and i know u feel the same cause i saw the look on your face

Jul 2, 2021 11:35 PM

hi! I'm back😊) "We just have to keep trying, maggot. She's got to accept the reality of it all. We have to help her, even if she doesn't want our help. We can't let her become a lost soul, forever longing for life and trapped between two worlds." Widow said softly. Maggot was right. What Emily said, how she reacted had broken her heart. But she couldn't abandon Emily.

crawling over to the pillow she curled up and began to wepp softly

holy shit i havent seen u cry since the furnel last year

wiggling over to her

Jul 5, 2021 4:27 PM

his own hurt feelings resufecing

(Emily or widow is crying?)

widow

emily already left

(

"I can cry! I have feelings just like anyone else in this family!" Widow so bed

*sobbed

well at least tell me why

your crying

maggot asked hesently storking her head with his tail

he was used to emily crying but not widow

shed always been the strong put though one

Jul 5, 2021 6:46 PM

Smartass as he was

And and as hardass as he tried to act

Deep down he was as emotional and kindhearted as both of his girls were

And knowing the women he loved more then life itself were in pain brought tears to his eyes

Jul 6, 2021 6:01 AM

"oh stop with all that nonsense! You're not failing you're mother. Nobody's pissed at you for leaving. They're all drunk and having a bloody good time. Do they wish you were there, yes? Do they understand why you left, yes? Don't worry about it!" Widow said

and that was enough to finally get though to her

she smiled

your right

im done moping

done crying

and done being depressed

"I'm going to take action! I'll find a husband and finally get out of here!" Emily declared

and u and maggot are coming with me

when i leave

she added

Jun 26, 2021 11:51 PM

She kissed her finger pressed it to widows head then stood up

Come on widow let’s go back to the party and have some fun

Jun 27, 2021 5:48 AM

"As you wish, dearie." Widow smiled. She was happy Emily was trying to move on. Even if she wasn't entirely happy yet, she could be way less sad.

Jun 27, 2021 11:37 AM

and with that they rejoined the party

the end

Jun 27, 2021 4:53 PM

Yay! Are you happy with how it turned out?

yes very

now we gotta do the other prequel

the bday one

Jun 27, 2021 8:27 PM

The birthday one? I've forgotten about that, what was that one about?

its gonna be a follow up to this one

its one year into her death

Oh right, I remember now.

this is where the things hinted at in the last one come in

we start with her alone in her room once again

the ally virabtes with tiny sobs

and sniffls

she sits on the stepsa buring candle in her lap

cold tears streaking down her pale blue cheeks

shes a mess

her beauful blue hair is a scarggly clumpy tangled mess

her mascura caked in the hollows of her eyes

making her look like a very pretty raccon

Jun 28, 2021 12:46 AM

Depressed, the only light she sees is the flame of the candle. She'd never notice how alive fire was. It made her jealous. "I could snuff you out right now, if I wanted." Emily tells it, her fingers coming close to the flame. But the fire is unafraid. It flickers in, as if she doesn't exist

Snilffing she boldly sticks one finger into the dancing flame

She expects to be burned, to feel any type of pain. But there's nothing. It all just feels cold. She's completely numb, everywhere but in the inside

If I touch a burning candle I can no pain

She whimpered

She try’s again with all the fingers of her right hand

Jun 28, 2021 3:55 PM

but just gets the same reselt

scwoling she looks at her left arm

though tearfilled eyes

and and hand

the skin has startd to dry and flake

from always having it sticking out of the ground

the thing her best friends warned her about has happened

"Horrid. Positively horrid." She sighs, looking forlorn. She wants to be sad about it but somehow she knows it's just how it is. There's no use crying over it

shed begain to rot

she drys her eyes with the backs of her hands then picking up the candle pours some hot wax into her open plam

"Nothing. No pain at all" she sighed, not realizing her guardians were approaching

she wanted to get the knife from under her pillow and slash her wrists

still not noticeing them she puts down the candle gets up and goes to her bed

drawing out the knife

to lost inher own mirsty

to notice

she puts the sharp blad to her left wrist and pulls it arcross

black tarlike blood ozzes from the the cut

bringing froth the smell of rot

but once again she feels no pain

if u cut me with a knife its still the same she sniffles and begins to sob again

her tears salting the wound

Jun 28, 2021 6:49 PM

hey what the hell do u think your doing

maggot yells

starling her and making her drope the knife

Jun 28, 2021 9:49 PM

Jun 29, 2021 8:03 PM

so this is what happens if im not in your head all the time

u go and do something stupid like this

malating your pretty skin

and getting blood blood on your dress

sloppy carless stupid little goose

maggot snerred trying to hide how worryed he is

hurt embrassed and deprssed emily flopps sidways on the matresss and weeps into her pillow her bedgallged hair falling over her face

Jun 30, 2021 4:38 AM

(hi, sorry I was gone yesterday. I had a rough day at work and then just went straight to sleep when I got home.) "oh maggot, that's not the way! You're being too rough on the girl!" Widow chides. Quickly she runs over to Emily, creating a web with her spindly legs and putting it on Emily's wound like a bandage. "Rough!? I'm rough! If she wasn't already dead, she would have killed herself! We can't let her harm herself like that or she'll turn to dust before we know it!" Maggot bristled.

the thought of turning to dust made emily cry even harder

Jun 30, 2021 5:03 PM

"Shh! maggot! See what you did!" Widow snaps before turning to comfort Emily. "Don't listen to him Emmy, that won't happen. You'll have to be older than an Egyptian mummy before that happens. You'll never see that far because you're going to find a nice young man before then."

i dont see how now that im fucking rotting emily sobbed sitting up

look at me she wailes thrusting her [ealing arm at them

pealing

the cut had ripped off a chuck of skin eposing the bone under nethg

Jun 30, 2021 7:22 PM

more tears spill down her cheeks

Jul 1, 2021 1:15 AM

and her bottom lip quakes

"oh...oh dear, now don't cry! Uhm...perhaps the fancy ladies have something to cover it up! Perhaps needle and thread can do the trick." Widow suggested

well what about this emily whimpered getering to her stab wound that had now decayed to the point that her ribs showed

"I...I'm afraid it's too late for that, dear. But maybe the other spiders and I can repair the dress so it doesn't show?" Widow proposed. "What's the point! It would only get ruined again!" Emily wailed.

this is the wosrt fucking brithday ever she howled bursting into deep gurtter sobs

guttler

Jul 1, 2021 5:19 PM

chocking on her own tears

Jul 1, 2021 7:23 PM

"Please, love. Calm yourself. Remember your vow....Things will get better in time." Widow said, trying to console her.

iv tried but al its gotten me is this

emily sniffled

getinering to her arm again

she wiped her tears on the hem of her mothers dress

todays is a very hard day for me

id be 19 today

but inseed im stuck at 18 forever

which in itself wouldnt be so bad

but on top of everthing esle i aslo miss my family

mommy

daddy

lydia

but i never see any of them anymore

im fucking sick of being dead

i want to be alive again

surly there must be some way

Jul 1, 2021 11:47 PM

to revrese this mistake

and let me go back home to my family

she turned back to maggot and widow

maggot was hurt and ready to cry at the of her leaving

widow was alos hurt but maily cause emily spoke like she didnt think they were a good enough family

oh maggot dont u start crying again

i just manged to stop

and widow dont look at me that way

if i hurt your feelings im sorry

u know i think of u as my family

and that i love both more then anything in the world

but i dont belong here

i belonge upstaires

and i think my vow was a mistake

i know i said i would wait as long as it takes but im tired of waiting

i dont want to be patent anymore

iv tried to be happy here but its not working

please tell me is there even the sightst chance i can live again

if so ill anything

Jul 2, 2021 4:47 AM

(whars the raising the dead thing from

emilys black eyes lit up and she smiled for the fisrt time that day

"Oh, what a fantastic idea!

she squealed jumping up

ill go see him right now

maggot u stay here with widow

we dont need a repete of last year

(from what?)

(it was from the bible. Jesus raising Lazarus.)

"Gladly. Just make sure she doesn't go petting all those smelly old crows!" Maggot said back.

(cool

emily just rolled her eyes that was excaty why she told him to stay

ill be back later

and with that she left the ally

u know u just set her up for dissappment

widow said

shes gonna end up getting her poor little heart crushed

hey i was just trying to help

maggot protested

i know and thats very kind of u

and your one to talk widow your the one whos always trying to keep her hopes up

Jul 2, 2021 7:09 PM

"well somebody has to! Tge poor girl is devastated!" Widow snapped

why are u pissed at me what the hell did i do now

maggot snapped back

Jul 2, 2021 9:36 PM

"I'm not pissed I'm just...I'm afraid for Emily. I didn't mean to take it out on you, love. You're just so darn candid." Widow said

im scared for her to i thought she was over this bullshit

uptill today she seemed fine

no nightmares

no crying

she was eating and talking to people

she wasnt even crying in her sleep anmore

and id know if she was cause i live in her head now

but now shes right back where she stared from

she hasnt left her room all day

she looks like shit

she hasnt eaten

shes crying again

and now shes hurting herself

and wants to leave

i dont think shed even want us as parents

and i know u feel the same cause i saw the look on your face

Jul 2, 2021 11:35 PM

Jul 3, 2021 4:07 PM

(sorry gone on family vacation tty on monday!)

Jul 4, 2021 6:35 PM

(hi! I'm back😊) "We just have to keep trying, maggot. She's got to accept the reality of it all. We have to help her, even if she doesn't want our help. We can't let her become a lost soul, forever longing for life and trapped between two worlds." Widow said softly. Maggot was right. What Emily said, how she reacted had broken her heart. But she couldn't abandon Emily.

crawling over to the pillow she curled up and began to wepp softly

holy shit i havent seen u cry since the furnel last year

wiggling over to her

Jul 5, 2021 4:27 PM

his own hurt feelings resufecing

(Emily or widow is crying?)

widow

emily already left

(

"I can cry! I have feelings just like anyone else in this family!" Widow so bed

*sobbed

well at least tell me why

your crying

maggot asked hesently storking her head with his tail

he was used to emily crying but not widow

shed always been the strong put though one

Jul 5, 2021 6:46 PM

Smartass as he was

And and as hardass as he tried to act

Deep down he was as emotional and kindhearted as both of his girls were

And knowing the women he loved more then life itself were in pain brought tears to his eyes

Jul 6, 2021 6:01 AM

Jul 6, 2021 4:40 PM

(hi sorry I had a rough day) "Why do you think, Maggot? I keep trying and trying to keep this family together, but nothing I do is working. Emily is kind, but we're not really her family." Widow sobbed.

maggot was shocked at how much she sounded like him

right now

he wanted to tell her she was wrong but he could

not

so he jusy layed down next to her hugged her tight

and let the tears ran down his cheeks

i guess this means wer not gonna apot her after all are we

he whimperd

Jul 6, 2021 7:31 PM

"No...no maggot. We are. It's just...it's just going to be harder than we thought." Widow sbiffled

*sniffled

he nodded

as she wrapped her eight legs around him

then the two of them just lay there and cried their broken little hearts out

0 notes

imayhavebpd · 1 year

Text

Some context: the rant below may be disturbing, I talk about my relationship that is not going too good at the moment and about my worsening mental health.

Im nb and queer, so is my partner.

Just had the biggest fight with my partner and now he wants to leave me. after 3.5 years. We are both severely mentally ill and he wants to give up on our relationship. He doesnt care anymore, he has been breaking my trust over and over for the past few months. Suspicious relationship with a friend, going to her house, drinking copious amounts of alcohol and staying the night multiple times. He even confessed to sleeping in her bed once because he "felt light headed" . Her calling him in the middle of the night because she needed comfort. Him being ready to drop everything at any given moment to come to her place. He told me that they have been joking about him cheating on me with her since her newest boyfriend is so similar to him. Couple days ago he told me that he has been smoking weed with her, despite it being illegal in the place we live in. Drugs (each and every one) scare me so much and he knows that and still when I told him that I felt betrayed and disturbed he started calling me conservative and close minded. For the record, I dont think there is anything wrong with using any kind of drug, I just wished he would say something before he started doing drugs with her (and now he talks about doing mushrooms because they have a mutual friend who tries to grow them in her house). He likes to bully and tease me, make me feel bad and says that hes just joking. He lied to me in the past and about something very important too. He has been hiding that thing from me for months and we lived together. His parents are walking all over me, abusing both of us, trying to get us kicked out of our flat, despite being very rich they dont support him financially in any way and since he cant or wont find a job it falls on me to take care of finance (that is rent, food, medicine, transportation). I am beyond tired, Im suicidal and he doesnt care. He just doesnt care anymore. My job is literally killing me and I havent quit yet because the only way we can live together is if I have it. I feel betrayed, I feel emotionally cheated on, Im so disappointed that he would break my trust just to smoke weed with that girl and her friends and have fun.

The thing is.

I love him beyond words. I missed him before we knew each other. We are each others first partners, we are just 20 and we met in high school. Im autistic, and I really cant create deep relationships with other people. I dont know why, I just dont feel that way about the vast majority of people. Before I met him I felt lonely for all my life, there were people around me but no one understood me and they never felt like companions to me. We have been through hell together and its not the first time its bad. Almost every time it goes the same way, I want to fight for our relationship and he wants to leave, says that he doesnt love me anymore, that he doesnt feel anything. Now I lay in our bed, he is in the other room and I wait for him to come and talk to me.

He once crawled into our bed besides me and whispered that he could kill me if he wanted to, since he a lot taller and stronger than me. I never thought too much of it, but always it felt kinda weird.

Im not a good person, I told him that I want to kill myself and when he didnt want to talk earlier I asked what would happen if I left and didnt come back. He says that Im emotionally blackmailing him and he probably is right. I dont know, I have let so many things slide with him. I was screaming and crying and begging and he has been packing his stuff and ignoring me. And then I hit him. On his arm, not to hurt him but I know it was wrong. I wanted him to stop ignoring me but what I did is the worst thing I could have done. He said that this is probably the end as Im in his words "in the worst place mentally that I have ever been in". I cried all night, I cant sleep or eat, Im not thirsty, I just want the pain to stop. I want to hurt myself, I want him gone from my life, I want him to love me and care about what he has done to me, I want him to admit that he has ruined our relationship. I dont know who he is, he is a stranger to me but we have been together for all my life. I love him to death, I want to spend my life with him, I never want to see him again. He is still here, he has been taken away by his new friends and soon probably lovers and he has been taken away by himself and what is left I dont recognise.

Ive always invested more in this relationship, allowed hin to cross my boundaries when it made him happy untill I didnt have any left. I accept him, I love him, Im always there for him, he takes things out on me and I just continue to support him. I help him with his art and studies, I paint his nails and help him with anything he wants or needs help with. I allow him to run different psych. tests on me as he needs them for his studies, I give him my time and attention. Still, he is disgusted with my emotions, made me feel dirty by repeately telling me that I stink for over a month (and then admitted that I dont, he just thought it was a funny joke), told me that my anger is evil and pathological and that I should never feel it. He hates my body, hates that I have a human body and that Im not made out of glass and silicone and plastic. He doesnt kiss me on the lips and he finds my afab genitals to be extremly gross.

I lost so much in the past month, Im scared for my life. I lost a job opportunity that would have been perfect for me, and then I lost even more job opportunities. I may have lost my flat, I will probably have to move out untill the end of april. And now I have lost my boyfriend.

I know how it all sounds, but this is a vent and there is much more good than bad, we have loved each other deeply for a long time now.

#rant #personal vent #depresjon #tw bpd vent #tw toxicity #tw mentally ill #mental illness #anxienty #sewer slide

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loomworld · 1 year

Text

loom(s)

ash | she her

codes, music, thoughts

USER CHANGE !!

loomspost -> loomworld

01 ) who am I?

my name is loom(s)!! I use the prns she her, im chinese and indonesian. I'm a bisexual leaning fem!! im TiNe sx5(w4)94 R[C]UE/I/ (TYPOLOGY)

02 ) what is this blog for?????

this blog is my personal blog / online identity !! haha kiddingg, mainly used js to write down my opinions nd sometimes my thoughts, I share a lot of my music taste here and updates on artists nd bands (mostly the 1975!!) I like. I sometimes post my codes!!

I currently don't have specific tags for posts becoz I'm too forgetful for that

I'm very sensitive, meaning there's gna b a lot about my thoughts and everyday life. If you dont like this, feel free to break moots ^^

My blog is not necessarily apart of a fandom hence personal blog, but its leaning into the 1975 and codeblr. So you'll see a lot of codes, the 1975 and other bands alike!!

I also quite literally just post about shit im intrested in currently, ill reblog anything I find intresting and post walls of text sometimes just writing my thoughts down or answering asks. Chain reblogs are my absolute favorite thing on tumblr, so I reblog a lot of reblog chains either with my own thoughts or just the reblog chain itself.

I advocate for lgbtq and I'm a feminist, I share a lot of my ideals and beliefs here!! I dont try to push them but I blog about them quite often.

This blog is everything inside my mind !! everything that's going on inside there is literally my blog, this is like my identity. If u don't like seeing posts about like one topic that I'm currently fixated on then this blog isn't for u, I post movie reviews and I'm literally a cinophile!!

Beware this blog quite literally is my little diary, if I feel like shit I'll be blogging about what happened that day and how I feel. All TWs will be in #s and I will warn before hand so if you dont like any topics mentioned than just scroll past !! this blog is like an online tracker or an online database of my life. (this is dead ass just my identity.)

03 ) about me

I believe in the magic of science and see beauty everywhere, I'm the biggest fan of The 1975, MCR, PTV, TV girl, and many more. My music taste varies and depends on my mood a lot of times! but I come crawling back to the 1975 everytime. I live in jakarta and my dream is to live in NYC, I can speak 5 languages (russian, chinese, english, indonesian, swedish) im a cinophile and I love music!! I play 3 different instruments (violin, piano, flute) and I code (python). Im into quantum physics and science itself!! I dont really post abt my intrests, just my thoughts and experiences, I do occasionally post abt them tho!!

intrests <- click for intrests

04 ) DNI

basic dni criteria, terfs, lib fems, bigots, the 1975 antis, matty healy antis, Taylor swift antis, rad fems, support harmful labels or ideologies, CC supporters, excessive nsfw blogs, sinophobia in any way, fucking flat earthers, JKR supporters, Vanessa Kirby antis, RCTAs, ECTAs, white feminists (as in white feminism), ai supporters, Elon Musk dickriders

05 ) BYF

selective follow / slow to follow back sometimes. Not following you back doesn't necessarily mean I don't like you!usually it's because of lack of shared intrests, intrests I don't want to see, untagged / excessive nsfw, excessive discourse etc.

excessive reblogging / once I'm on tumblr and I find something like literally anything i like, I'll start reblogging it. I reblog shit a lot so that might clog ur following dash.

I do a lot of 'housekeeping' / for moots, I'm not gna instantly reblog the stuff u blog abt esp if it contains nsfw. I'm very picky on what's on my page !!

Inconsistent posting / what I mean by this, is my theme constantly changed and the stuff I reblog or blog is constantly changing!!

#bookmark #009

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possessivedesires · 2 years

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Injury

How would the yandere Hashira react to their Darling (who's also a hasira) coming home severely Injured and they were trying to hide it cause they knew if they were seen that injured their "partner" would force them to retire?

Kyujuro

“Where are they?” The loud voice made you freeze in mid step, knowing that you were busted. Of course Shinobu would send a letter out to Kyujuro, not knowing of the tendencies he has when it comes to you. No one knew, because no one believed you. Kyujuro was the perfect Angel, the perfect man. Who would ever believe anything he has done to you?

“Ky-“

“Firelily.” He was pissed, you knew that. His eyes didn’t hesitate to scan over your body; seeing the bandages covering your body. When you tried to look over at one of the butterfly girls for help, his hand moved his haori to block them from you. “We talked about this.”

He said with the sweet smile on his face, hiding the anger easily. It terrified you; wondering what awaited for you. Silently cussing Shinobu for sending him a letter, but know she was just wanting to help. “I-I know but-“

“Do you know what I would have done if I lost you?” You flinched at hearing him, looking down at hearing the concern in his voice. Even with him treating you awfully, you could never deny that he cares for you. Truly he does, just in his toxic way. “I thought-“

“You thought? Baby, love of my life, this…” He stepped closer to you, lifting your chin to stare at him. “This is why you don’t think. This is why you need to depend on me and only me. I can take care of you, I can protect you.”

“K-“

“There’s no arguing. Let’s go. Now.”

Shinobu

“Oh sweetheart.” You had no where to go but to her place; she had all the medical supplies and you could die without getting your injuries checked. Tears slipped over your face, staring at the woman who was giving you that innocent smile and letting you know just how much you were in trouble.

“I-I-“

“Hush now sweetheart; we don’t want you to waste your precious energy.” Shinobu had already decided that she was going to take you out of commission when you returned for the fact she didn’t like to be separated from you. But this… This made her realize just how much you needed to stop fighting demons.

You tried to struggle when she wrapped you in her arms, ignoring her sweet shushing. There was a sharp point to the back of your neck; sedatives kicking into your system while you began to slump forward in her arms. “There there, rest easy my love. I’ll take care of everything for you.”

Giyuu

This is the one that you could hide the easiest from. Mostly because he doesn’t know how to show his feelings; all the craziness is just bottling up more and more because he doesn’t know how to release it until it just cracks.

Like now.

“B-babe…?” He whispered, lowering the sword from his hand. There was a crash that made him panic in thinking there was a demon, but it was only you on the kitchen. Blue eyes were focused on the wounds crawling up your skin; poking out from poorly wrapped bandages. “It’s n-“

“Don’t… Dont tell me that this is nothing!!” He exclaimed, raising his voice and making you jump lightly. You’ve never heard him yell at you before, the sword digging into the wooden floor as he marched over to you. You backed up, trying to put the chair between the two of you and grabbing back on the cabinet. After being taken and forced to live with the hashira, this… this is the time you’ve honestly felt nervous of him. You’ve never seen him act like this before so you didn’t know how to predict what he was gonna do.

“Why did you even go?” He demanded, putting his hands on the table. You opened your mouth to answer, but Giyuu knew you. He knew what your answer would be. “Who gives a fuck about those people? You… You are the only thing I care about! I don’t care if all those people die!”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. A hashira, a demon slayer, not caring about the lives at stake. Giyuu looked at your wounds again. “The thought of losing you… No… I won’t…”

He shook his head; making his way over to you and grabbed your arm before you could stop him. He tightened his arm when you tried to wiggle out of his grasp while he pulled you back to the bedrooms. “You’re no longer allowed to step out of this house, I won’t lose you too.”

Sanemi

“Babe, I’m back home.” He announced loudly, kicking off his shoes by the door while he put his katana on the table. Pale purple eyes immediately shot toward the direction of your shared room at hearing the crash, his hands only slamming open the door seconds later.

You were trying to collect the broken shards of a medicine jar, the medicine spilled over the floor. Sanemi narrowed his eyes, wondering why you need the medicine jar in the first place and his eyes turned to look at the bloodied bandies where you were sitting.

“S-say something!” You yelled out; the silence was pressuring for you- making it feel like you couldn’t breath. Sanemi was never quiet, so to know he was standing there and just… watching you; the thought terrified you. Your body flinched when he stopped in front of you, crouching down before his hand lifted up your jaw roughly. “What happened?”

“D-demon…”

“Demon…” He mused as if it was some joke, then stood up. Your eyes widened as you watched him walk toward the door. “Wha-what? What are you doing?”

“I’m going to to talk to the master.” Your eyes widened at hearing that, quickly running toward him and flinched when you felt him grab you. His arm wrapped around your throat, locking his arm as he held you close. “Don’t fight against me, I’m not gonna let you go out on missions anymore. From hear on, you’re dead. I’m gonna go tell the master that I found your body and you’re gonna spend out your days here. By my side. Understand it?”

You tried to argue with him, but Sanemi kept a hold on you till you passed out. Immediately taking his hand off, fingers pressing against your neck to check if you were okay and put you in bed. He tucked you in, thumb brushing over your cheek. “I do this because I love you.”

Tengen

*Before his own retirement

“There’s my darling!!” Tengen cheered excitedly, sliding in front of you with a large grin. Your eyes widened; not expecting to see the hashira home yet since he wasn’t due to be back for another three days. Three days you would have time to clean up, but his smile dropped when he saw the blood on you.

“Darling, what is this?” He narrowed his eyes at you, making you quickly try to wipe the blood from your skin. “I-it’s nothing.”

“This doesn’t look like nothing.” He even put quotations on the word, hand reaching out to grab your arm. You winced are the pain spiking up your dislocated arm. “See! This is what I’m talking about!”

“Lord Tengen, I’m f-“

“Don’t. If you finish that sentence I will lose my goddamned mind.” He pulled you closer, putting his hand on your lower back to guide you into the house. You looked down at the wives were watching you; they didn’t dare to step out to say anything when Tengen was angry like this. No one could win with him.

“Hey! Wait! What are you doing?!” You exclaimed as the shackle was put around your ankle; trying to tug it out from his grasp. “What do you think?”

“L-Lord Tengen, I thought we moved on from this!” You exclaimed; not wanting to be chained up again. He wasn’t listening to you, getting the medicines that he would need. “Can’t have my darling leave again; now can I? Hmm? You don’t need to do that job anymore.”

“You can’t be ser-“

“Girls; you’ll watch her when I’m not here. Right?” He looked to the three women who nodded immediately to his request. Good luck getting out.

Muichiro

Warnings: murder

You don’t know that Muichiro even knew you were hurt; not hearing him when he was close. Especially because he said nothing as he watched you tried to clean the wound and bandage it up.

But he knew he had to do something.

“Oh? It’s the (your hashira pillar).” You looked over at hearing the surprised Kinoe to your left. “I heard they retired yesterday.”

“They’re looking good for retirement.”

“But aren’t they so young? Maybe they just weren’t ready for being a hashira yet.” Retirement? That word stuck with you, making your way over to the kinoes. “Um… what do you mean im retired?”

“Huh? Whatcha mean by playing innocent? Everyone knows you retired yesterday. Muichiro told the master.”

“What? No I didn’t. I just got back from a mission yesterday… and I was going to give my report to the master.” You were confused. But the kinoes didn’t have time to answer because the familiar spoke out from the side. “Y/n.”

“Muichiro… We need to talk.”

“I know.” His pale blue eyes looked over at the kinoe standing there; feeling annoyed with their presence before he looked back to you. “Why… Why didn’t you talk to me about this? I don’t want to be in retirement.”

“It wasn’t up for decision.” You were surprised at hearing that, but your eyes only widened when his sword slashed through the two kinoes standing there. They shouldn’t have gossiped about you. “M-M-M-“

“Let’s go home.” He said, turning his body to face you. Not a thought behind those eyes; only dreaming on living with you and spending out his days by your side. “Now.”

Obanai

There was no hiding the scent of blood from Kaburamaru; no matter how much you tried. Obanai knew as he saw those crimson petals on your clothes; there was no way that he was going to let you do anything remotely dangerous again.

“I’m fine, I swear.” You tried to argue with him, but Obanai was having none of it. He didn’t believe you; fighting against you when you tried to push him away from taking care of you. “Stop! Stop just stop it.”

He growled, demanding your cooperation. It got to the point where he had to restrained you, being able to focus clearly on your wound and taking care of it. “You’re not leaving again.”

“But I said-“

“You’re not leaving again. That’s final.”

“You can’t-“

“I can and I will. Do remember who’s hands your family’s lives are in.” He hated to use that above your head, but necessary times call for necessary plays. Your hands clenched at hearing that and he picked up your sword from the bedside. “Wa-wait what are you doing?”

“You won’t be needing this again.”

“Wait no-!” Pieces of your sword fell to the ground, Obanai breaking it without a remorseful thought. Mix matched eyes looked over at your sulken form, tears slipping down your cheeks. “I’ll be talking to the master. Be good and don’t make me hurt you when I return.”

It was an empty threat, sorta, Obanai was not above breaking your legs to keep you from running. There was no more leaving the house; he wouldn’t let this happen again.”

Mitsuri

“Honeybunches!” Mitsuri cheered happily as you arrived back home, jumping in your arms and hugging you close. You winced, tears springing toward your eyes at the pain flaring but still hugged your psychotic lover back. But she noticed the wince.

“Sweetie?” She asked, leaning her head back; looking down at you and her eyes widened when she noticed the tears in your eyes. “Baby! Why are you crying? No no no no don’t cry.”

She immediately wiped away your tears, peppering your face in kisses. “Don’t cry! I’m right here for you! You’re home now, no reason to cry.”

That’s not the reason I’m crying… You thought, getting reminded of your injuries with all of her movement. Her hands gently pet your hair, putting her forehead against yours. “You’re all home now. And~ I’ve talked to the master, sooooo you’re on vacation. Permanently.”

“Wh-what?”

“I know we talked about you retiring and I thought it was a brilliant idea because you want to stay home with me.” Your head shook, feeling like your heart was stuck in your throat. No, you felt like you were sick. This was another one of her sick delusions; another one of her thoughts where she really thought you’d played along. “What? Aren’t you happy? Don’t you want to spend time with me?”

Tears sprung in her eyes, making you feel guilty. Of course she knew how it effected you; that’s why she uses it to get what she wanted whenever it comes to you. A small sign came from you; letting her down and she grinned at you. “Come on! Let’s go spend our time together! We have so much to catch up on and all the time to do so!”

It didn’t matter if you were hurt or not, Mitsuri didn’t want you to be leaving anymore. So even if you can back completely fine; the end result would have been the same.

Gyomei

“Sweetie?” You didn’t hide your wounds, thinking that you were fine. But he could hear the way the bandages rubbed when you moved; it made the hashira frown. “What happened?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about lov-“

“You’re lying.” His hands gently held onto your face, thumb rubbing lightly over your skin. “You know I hate when you lie to me. Did you get hurt?”

“Yes…”

“Was it on your mission?”

“Yes…” He hummed, thinking about what he needs to do to. His hands moved to your back, pulling you closer to him to hug you closer. “I’m going to go get some supplies from Shinobu; please get some rest my love.”

He guided you to the bed, helping you lay down as he left the house. But he didn’t head toward the butterfly mansion, no, he went immediately to Kagaya. He was going to fake your death, going to keep you back at his house. Gyomei made a promise to protect you and he was going to keep that promise.

#yandere demon slayer #yandere kny #yandere kyojuro rengoku #yandere sanemi #yandere giyuu #yandere tengen uzui #yandere mitsuri #yandere gyomei #yandere shinobu #yandere muichiro #yandere obanai

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