okay hear me out modern au where Tommy and Maria first meet in a club in their 20s and they bump into each other while dancing and just start dancing together and they just hit it off but in the end they both forget to give each other their numbers so both of them go back to the same club the next week to hopefully meet each other again (also Tess and Maria definitely go clubbing together because I love them as best friends)
cowboy!!!! yes yes YES i LOVE this. and u could extend this meet-cute into like a whole thing where tommy and maria keep trying to meet at the club and exchange information, but something gets in the way everytime!!!! kid emergency!!! bar fight!!! cocaine bear on the loose!!! zombie apocalypse—who knows????
im thinking the first time, tess drags maria to a bar she likes because she’s been trying to get the attention of this hot dilfy guy at the bar, but he’s always tailing along with his friend. by tess’s design, maria and tommy meet and and hit it off and dance (to maria maria by santana) the night away. they fall in love and decide they want to go home together, so maria goes to the bathroom—but joel randomly comes up and is like “tommy, hey sorry selena’s mom called, sarah had a nightmare and she wants us both to pick her up, we gotta go” and in true miller dad-uncle panic they BOLT. by the time maria comes back, tess is like “idk dude, mine got a call so they had to go. seemed like an emergency. bummer” and they assume thats that
on the flip side: everythings okay with sarah, but after tommy and joel tuck her in tommy’s suddenly just like “fuck—fuck!!!!!” and joels like “what? what???” and he’s like “i didn’t get her number :(:(:(:( fuck” and so joel’s like “it’s okay, i see her friend there all the time” and so tommy’s like “omg :D do you have her friends number?” “well… no” “joel… what the fuck man.” so they make a plan to go back next week with the hopes of at least seeing tess and getting maria’s number from there—tommy also wants to get tess’s number for joel, but he doesn’t need to know that
little do THEY know, tess and maria are already plotting for next weekend. they show up to that bar looking fine as FUCK—they quite literally turn heads walking through the door. of course the miller brothers are there, sitting in a booth all the way in the back and waiting, making eyes. tess and maria are not shy, so they start making their way over. unfortunately, some drunk asshole decides to try to get handsy with tess on her way there—which results in her punching him in the face, which results in him trying to punch her in the face. she dodges, of course, but it starts a full-on bar brawl that the miller boys jump into without hesitation (joel manages to tackle and land a few good ones on og drunk asshole too so. slay.). none of them get arrested or anything, but they definitely don’t get eachother numbers on account of joel and tommy having to duck the cops
so i guess they gotta keep trying ;)
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Okay so-- i was reading some sagau posts and came across this one where the reader was an army vet and my brain just Did Its Thing--
So now I'm here to inflict this on to you--
Would guns be considered as catalysts. And would they only do Phys Damage.
Me reading this ask:
😶 😐 🤨 🧐 🧐 😰 🥲 😭😭😭 💀
STOP YOU'VE INFLICTED ME WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL DMG FROM THIS ASK 😭
(Also srry took so long to respond, when i didnt realize how short this was/was just sitting over here 😓)
^ For the sake of gun imagery being a lot/maybe staff might hate me for it,
we'll put this gay shit instead (i almost mispelled to "gay shot" lmao)
☆
Sun: Army Veteran Reader, Gender neutral Reader (you/they/them)
Orbit: SHORT Headcanons
Stars: everybody bc i think itd be funny
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: gun stuff, mild violence, mild cursing & Trigger Warnings: Gun fun everywhere
THIS ASK HAS ME GIGGLING TO MYSELF LIKE A MANIAC
You're out here having a whole gun they let you take for off-base
And u ofc have a license so u can conceal carry
(idk how non-american gun laws work, but tbh ours are so fucked idk how they work here either, just that an army guy i knew once could have his gun when he got back home)
And ofc ur just paranoid enough (more like it just makes u feel safe)
That when u get yoinked into a portal to a silly little brightly colored gacha game fantasy world, the gun comes with 💀
Id like to add in my silly little "ur in a video game, so video game rules" AU version of genshin so:
The only other gun (ish) wielder (Mika) has unlimited bolts
Sooo I'd think your gun would be the same jfc lol
NO BC YOUD SCARE THE ACTUAL SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE IN UR VICINITY IN A BATTLE
BC GUNSHOTS ARE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF LOUD
When u first stumble into abyss monsters/hostile creatures of the realm, u nearly scare off a Lawlachurl bc every shot's like thunder to these bitches😭
So not only the monsters but the vision holders think u fucking summoned lightning
OMG THE BULLETS ARE SO FAST THEYD PROBABLY NOT SEE IT
ESP BC DISTRACTED BY GUNSHOT LOUDNESS
SO U AIM THIS LITTLE BLACK CROSSBOW (???) AND THINGS JUST DIE (OR GET RIDDLED WITH HOLES) WITH NO CLEAR ARROW STICKING OUT
STOPP- you're becoming a witchy god or smth to all of Teyvat bc it just looks like hella high level magic atp to them LMAOOO
Rumors of you get out of hand and say u just point or snap ur fingers and things get wounded/just die on the spot 💀
Oh another difference between Teyvatians seeing ur gun vs. crossbow (what they know)
Is that guns are wayyyy more destructive
Like an arrow would get shot but it'd bounce off of things like rock or wood or metal, maybe dent a little depending on how close
But a bullet goes thru that shit so easy, and leaves a whole little explosion behind, once again depending on range
(I once saw a Mythbusters episode? of them proving bullets would definitely go thru car doors, like movies lied to u, this is why drive-bys acc work like for gangs)
Lmao, the image of you in like full armor with a Teyvat made automatic gun after showing it to blacksmiths
Makes u just more convincing as a god, esp bc military training
(Ppl like Gorou and Kokomi begging for military tactics/training ur world has done)
...
....Ok.
I'll address it.
But only so u dont think im stupid later.
Yes, the Fatui have guns.
No, this not the same as having a glock LMAO
End of story.
(Also, urs runs on bullets, whereas the Fatui rely on magic/delusions to power theirs, plus they dont seem as fast or destructive as urs, more "explosions aimed at you" than real bullets)
Which,,, u leave the managing of ppl copying ur gun to ppl like the Qixing or smth, but make sure to give them advice on good gun laws if teyvat accidentally revolutionizes bc of ur advanced gun that anybody can wield (non-vision users)
Thats the best ive got abt that
Oh, also enjoy being praised as a War god now.
:)
☆
... dammit i had smth i was gonna tell u guys-
Uh what tf was it, it was important
OH
Next post is the Eldritch God Oneshot! Look out for it :) !!
☆
Safe Travels Kid,
💀♒️
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks
If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"
(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")
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thinking about how red guy canonically has nightmares. and in the qna where this was confirmed he says he “wakes up from the boredom” but we all know that shit isnt true. in that same qna he says his favorite color is medium brown and tbh i just think he was bullshitting the whole time. i don’t believe a single word that man says. he described the nightmare so vividly, it seemed to really bother him and then he was all like “but i wake up cuz im bored lol” NO YOU FUCKING DONT. this really hurts me too because if i remember correctly his nightmares take place in the woods, and hes scared of owls. night time must be so fuckin hard for this guy. he must be terrified or at the very least alone with his depressing thoughts. but if the other two ask hes just “bored”. and even if on other two did comfort him, even if he let himself confide in them and admit he was scared, itd still be forgotten anyway. itll just happen again tomorrow. he must be so lonely in his room, even though he shares it.
anyway fluffybird artists you should draw red guy crying and sobbing and shitting himself at 2am because an owl is being loud in their backyard. yellow guy sleeps like hes dead, so the scream only wakes up duck, whos organs are promptly crushed by a guy twice his size squeezing him like a stress ball. Hes a bit upset about it but its not like he can move, and as long as it gets red guy to shut up and stop yowling like a hurt coyote so he can go back to sleep he really doesnt care
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thinking about how fun mind reader darling could be... CW a bit of violent thoughts and some nsfw! <3
just imagine if you had an all access pass to your yanderes thoughts! but also imagine how terrifying it would be to be laying in bed at night and hearing
'they look so beautiful tonight..' 'i wish i was laying next to them...' 'god, i wanna touch them so bad, please let me touch you soon..' 'they wont notice if i take their socks, right..?'
and being completely unable to find out the source. are they inside? are they outside? can they see you? are they thinking about you? are your neighbors okay? but you've had such a long, hard day and your head hurts so much so you just decide to confront the problem tomorrow. its just too much today.
when you go to get coffee or groceries or breakfast the next day, you hear the voice again in the flood of thoughts around you.
'so pretty.. i hope they slept well, they looked stressed yesterday.' 'did someone stress you out darling? ill kill them for you, just tell me who and ill do it' 'they look kind of upset.. god, i wish i could hug them and hold them' 'ah, darlings trash.. do you think anyone will notice if i go take it?' 'you're buying saltines? does your stomach hurt? are you sick? are you making soup?' 'you're out of icecream but you arent getting more... please get more, i love the happy look you get when you eat it. sometimes i wish i was that icecream haha...'
'if that cashier touches your hand again, im going to fucking kill them.'
its terrifying. whos thinking this? where are they? who are they? why are they so obsessed with you?! you cant even have any sort of deniability anymore! you're out of ice cream, you did get saltines, the cashier did accidentally touch your hand! who the fuck is watching you?! how do you find them?! do they know you can hear them??
on the more nsfw side, i think itd be fun to hear your yanderes thoughts when they pleasure themselves or you pleasure them! just a constant stream of need and want thats impossible not to get an ego boost from.
'ah- yes! yes yes please! oh god touch me, touch me, please touch me!' 'kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me!!' 'holy shit thats so hot yes yes youre so perfect please please' 'dont stop please dont stop!' 'hit me please touch me, hurt me, yes yes say my name yes YES fuck oh god im- im gonna-' 'darling, darling, DARLING!! i love you i love you i love you!'
so fun!! and if you tell them about your powers? i just know theyre first reaction is embarrassment until they realize they can tell you everything theyre thinking now. sometimes, the words just wont reach their mouth so now, they can just unload all their love on you in their head! <3
very much inspired by redactedasmr's mind reader asmr youtube videos! highly recommend listening to the 'hot boi summer' one <33
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