#i dont really share art so i figured might as well | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wasyago · 8 months

Note

Dear Wasyago,

Strange, I have always thought it was spelled as Wasayago. But recently I've realized, I can't read very well.

I want to send appreciation today, to you.

You've taught me a lot about art. You've taught me a lot how to draw certain things, and you have opened my eyes to new perspective of art, ever since I started following you. Colours are brighter, I experiment more, I can see a specter of visuals that was previously hidden from me. It's like gaining shrimp colors.

Your art feels like an art classroom. There's sun pouring in from the windows, and there's tree leaves in front of them. Every time you come in you see different art projects. Paints add on to the tables, that will never scrub off again. There's dirty cups with paint water, and brushes, in the sink. It's lunch break, and there's people here. Some are just doing their math homework right before class, some are working on their sculpture, some are picking out paints, some are working on their new piece, on a fresh canvas. And it is so alive.

Your art feels so alive. Like the leaves, the people, the stains. It's really nice to see, every single time you post, how lovingly you bring a character into the world (My favorite so far is that one doodle of Modern au Gillion eating noodles, I have it in my favorites gallery).

I would like to see some unfinished, maybe forever to be so, doodles that you weren't especially proud of. We'll love it all.

Respectfully,

Marcus Bloodsmith

oh, thank you so much, this is so sweet qwq

im happy to know that you feel this way about my art, and im glad i could help you with some advice! it feels a bit weird to show unfinished or scrapped art under such a nice message, but yeah why not. and its funny that you mentioned the gillion eating noodles one, because its also one of the pieces that i really didn't like and didn't want to post hdgsh. i dont have that many unfinished drawings left because i delete or redraw most of them, but i have a couple that might be fun to share... and i guess it's gonna be a long post bc i wanna tell a little about each one or at least name them.

there's this art of chip, the first time i properly tried to figure out a way to draw him back when i just started listening. redrew this piece later, kept the sketch on the left, but the right one i changed completely because i didn't like the vibe this one has.

there's this attempt at redesigning caspian after i found out he was a water genasi, plus the first version of that art of caspian, pretzel and gill. this design didn't feel "caspian" enough, it looked too soft and kind where i wanted him to be more layed back and chill and sarcastic and with a bit of an edge. redrew both pieces later. the underwater drawing also has an unfinished background in this version, i added some fishies later so it didn't feel that empty.

some random sketch of gillion to show off how the lightning scars look on his face and neck. i quite like it, but it didn't really fit in the post with three proper drawings and one sketch so i decided to scrap it.

there's this drawing where i tried to figure out how the capital of the undersea looked like. i really didn't know where i was going with it and didn't have a good idea when i started drawing, so its a mess of things with nothing to really focus on. i tried to add a character on it later to breathe some life into it, but it didn't work out since i didn't focus it on the character from the beginning. plus i don't like how the colors turned out, and the entire concept of the environment feels weak and boring to me. i still want to draw more concepts of the undersea and try a couple other ideas, but probably at a later date...

the first version of whatever try it was to design gill's armor. (fun fact, i have more armor designs scheduled for tomorrow). this one i redrew almost immediately, i really didn't like how it turned out and how the legs were cut off and it looked so messy with no real accent point or personality. plus the smaller copy of the drawing in the corner just didn't look good. im not exactly proud of the redrawn version either (that's why i did another one yesterday lol), but im glad i redrew it anyway, it looks a lot better than this one.

the first sketch of that one gillion drawing. i couldn't figure out the colors for it for so long and wanted to drop the idea entirely. but i left it to sit for a couple hours and eventually got the motivation to come back to it and finish it. for most of the illustration pieces i did for jrwi there were multiple versions, where i just didn't like the first one and redrew the whole thing with a different composition and colors. didn't save any of those drawings tho...

this drawing of jay but with green wings and a slightly different color shirt. it was actually the first version of this drawing, and i changed the colors to blue later. wanted to post both of them side by side but then decided against it. that's why this drawing survived and was properly saved and not just deleted.

more recent attempts at designing the chaingel. i like the concept, and the pose in the second sketch is pretty badass, but the execution is just not there. it doesn't feel right, doesn't have the right kind of vibe that this character gives off. so im sure i will try and draw her later when i figure out what's missing and how to show her personality in the way it feels in my head. but these two sketches were never going to see the light of day, so now they're here.

aand this is it, this is everything that wasn't deleted in the past month for one or another reason. i feel like im more chill with deleting and redrawing things, so a lot of initial sketches and concepts never get saved or seen by anyone. im also on mobile so i can attach only ten files lol. not that it matters, the last two were just random figure drawings for warm up, not much to talk about.

#very sorry to the tagging anon but im not tagging this as jrwi. this is just nothing.#yagotalk

142 notes · View notes

youredreamingofroo · 3 months

Text

For those awaiting an answer on one of my more recent posts, and whether I'll be leaving, here it is. .....Under the cut, as it, in my usual fashion, gets lengthy, you can skip to the end for a TL:DR :)

I'm not going to leave tumblr/simblr, I'll be floating around and still liking people's posts, I'm probably gonna unfollow some people (not my mutuals ofc ilya) just because it's hard to keep up with my dash when I get over 10 notifications every 2 minutes or so especially when if I'm not going to primarily consume Sims 4 content. I'm going to put my mods folder into my external HDD, in order to preserve them ykwim, and I'm going to uninstall TS4, I'll try to make one more sim before the sims 4 gets poofed off my laptop, although as it stands even after freeing up 20 GBs of space, my space went back down to 400 MBs so 😭😭 I will probably be posting variety content, even though I know all my followers are primarily Sims content consumers (some of ya'll do other stuff, but I mean as a whole, my audience tends to be more Sims 4 related), I might play and share some of my Sims 1 content, which is not story oriented, it's just a little gameplay of Roo in the Sims 1 :) I'll also probably post Baldur gate stuff (if I can free up the storage for it LMAO), I'll post witcher content maybe, and plenty of other things, and like I said, I'll continue to float around, and I'll continue to reblog any Sims content I see and enjoy... as well as other things. .... So what about W.A.S? Yea. I dont know, while W.A.S IS supposed to be a fleshed out story, and while I know I AM leaving sims 4 behind, completely limiting what I can and cannot make story-wise (just cuz I don't know how to make scenes and stuff lmao), I will ATTEMPT to make W.A.S content, I will still make and post the Official teaser, and I'll probably introduce the characters myself sometime after the teaser (I'll take screenshots in CAS and just hope my storage doesn't dip TOO low). I may release some of the story in just text form, as I do really want to continue to post about the story. I'll try to come up with something tho, don't worry :)

I may also start getting back into art, I still need some hobby to preoccupy my time that isn't gaming, I will still do blender stuff (since I have a bunch of my Sims' DAEs) and I will maybe make more edits, but regardless, I still enjoy art and Sims 4 kinda consumed the time that I wanted to spend doing art, soooo yeah.

For the unrooleased tag, I have a bunch of sims that I've never posted, as well as renders that I've never posted, and I may, as Sims 4 filler, post those to fill the void that will become my Sims 4 content

and FINALLY. LAST THING I promise :) I know all of ya'll LOVE Roo, and I do want to reinforce the fact that ROO IS NOT A SIMS CHARACTER, I did NOT make him originally from the Sims, if you were at any point worried I would stop posting about him, I will not be, I will continue to share about Roo, probably with a lot less pictures considering I really only used TS4 as a visual assistant for his story, I do have his DAEs, so I can make SOME Roo blender content, albeit limited with Scenes and stuff. Roo is a character that I will continue to be passionate about, I never mentioned this but I LOVE to make Roo in pretty much every game I play (besides Skyrim................ and ofc games where u dont have customization), like Animal Crossing, I made a variant of Roo there, and in Stardew! You get the point, he will always be a prominent figure of my content. I may also bring back some characters I made from TS4, like Nirvana, I LOVE her character and would LOVE to continue to post about her, as well as Roo's family, I love posting about his family members and sharing their own story and what importance they are to Roo.

WOW, okay that was a lot, if you're skipping here for a clear answer, or a sort of TL:DR, here ya go, I don't want to leave tumblr, so I won't, and I won't necessarily leave the Simblr ring, TS4 is going to be uninstalled, but I WILL preserve my TS4 mods in my external HDD, and be on the look out for the last sim I make in TS4 :)

#not a goodbye to tumblr but a goodbye to sims 4 🫡#yapping

22 notes · View notes

sabrerine911 · 6 months

Text

So recently I made a discovery about myself I dont know how to feel entirely about.

Ill drop in a long example that made me discover that.

A few days ago I posted all my themed art in a FB BG3 meme group, since most of my art is humor based, it got a lot of positive interactions, and that stuff really made my day and motivated me to get back into BG3 and get more inspiration to do more fun BG3 stuff, but after a few newer goof art, the page seemed to have stopped accepting them. so I figured, well, its a meme group, maybe my art is just not meme material enough, so I figured Id post it in another more general group. So I uploaded the same stuff and I find out that its refused for a reason that was vaguely explained and I cant modify it anymore, I dont wanna reupload the whole thing with another text cause I dont like spamming and dont know what to change so all I can get is a response from a mod there wich i might not get since its hard to ask proper since my refused post doesnt exist anymore...

Combine this with the recent art stuff I posted in reddit being completely downvoted(wich was a big bummer since Ive gotten good reactions there sometimes), tumblr stuff barely gets any reactions and Deviant art is the only place where people like my stuff more...but I was hoping that finding fan based pages I would be able to share my love for the franchise with my fan based art... and now I found out that a lot of my more fan based productivity is very heavily based on the interactions I get from it. This art is like my own form of communication. And now, as absurdly dramatic as it sounds, Im feeling like with the newer atempts and more stuff Im just doing will not even be heard, and that really bums me out.

Both because my motivation is so connected to interactions and the fact I dont want to just spam my art in hopes to find the right group, it feels obnoxious, like im trying to show off my character and art, wich is not really what Im doing this for.

#artist ramblings #baldur's gate 3

39 notes · View notes

iraprince · 1 year

Note

I draw significantly better on weed for some reason, I think its a combination of calming my shaky hands n helping with the confidence of my brush strokes. and its not good for my relationship with it. I keep it in check but its demotivating when I know I can skip over alot of the things holding me back with a drug, when I really should do it the hard way through practice. basically re: the other anon, I dont think substances improving your art is something you really want.

yeah, this is something that would be my concern for myself as well. (before i talk too much about it, i do want to clarify that i don't think the prev anon was really barking up this tree specifically! my mind immediately rambled toward maintaining a healthy practice re: recreational drug use bc that's something i'm particularly vigilant about, but anon's question was more about handling mindset in those situations, so tbh in my answer i was already veering off topic a bit).

but, on this topic — and as someone who jokes a LOT about frequent weed use i do think it's good from time to time to be frank about it — yeah, as much as things vary from person to person, i think a piece of advice i Do feel comfortable giving a little more universally is if u are ever in a position where u find urself feeling Bummed Out that you're sobering up, that's probably cause for concern and something worth examining/reevaluating. whether that's to do with specific activities or not it's just something it's good to be habitually alert about imo.

(veering to the side again but: anyone who will not shut up about how weed is ALWAYS 100% SAFE U CANT GET ADDICTED NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN EVER!!!! is being childish and irresponsible and u shouldn't listen to them. u can get addicted to fucking exercise. all habits are worth being thoughtful and intentional abt.)

also — and like based on ur phrasing i think ur already aware of this, i'm just making this note bc i'm a stickler for precise wording + potentially for the benefit of anyone who might read this and get something to think about — i would say i instinctively disagree w the concept that u "should" be doing things "the hard way." practice isn't better bc it's harder; and on the flip side that has nothing to do w why the combo of weed + art doesn't work for u, u know? it's not worse bc it's easier or bc it lets u "skip over" parts of the process; it doesn't work for u bc you've already figured out that the mindset it creates isn't healthy for u and u don't like the way it makes u feel, and that's reason enough on its own. idk, like i said i think ur already aware of that so i don't want this to come off like i'm Correcting u on how ur talking abt ur own exp, it was just something that popped up in my mind right away so i wanted to share the thought!

#cw weed #cw drugs #prob not gonna take further qs on this bc like i said earlier: this is so individualized person to person #and also i DOOOO my best to keep this an art blog lol #but also. yknow. fine to be weedy bongman for jokes but i do think abt this stuff actively and im careful abt it #which is why it can be fun and enjoyable for me to be weedy bongman instead of it. like. sucking

117 notes · View notes

loversgothic · 10 months

Note

Maybe you've done it already and I missed it, but what would Gabriel's two-week-notice look like in the Ultradanse AU?

This has nothing to do with any other comments you have made about feral Gabriel or any other desire to see how he changes from The Gilded Nightingale to The Nightingale.

:3c. OOOHH. WELL

ive been really trying to think about that hard, since comparing the characters to those in fairytales and ballets tended to skew the story a bit.

and uh... my descriptions wont be the best.. im not the best at explaining things in ballet terms moreso just based on my perception of the art form and what i see in it through my eyes.

also im gonna go off of the concept that ultradanse is almost like a stage performance, a show

the most i can do to describe how it looks is to compare it to my vision for the first encounter with Odile/V1... because of the way i designed his lil costume he has a sort of princely look, and even though hes yknow. out to kill V1 because V1 traversed past his warnings, his dancing with V1 then is much more... poised. it might feel a bit distant, maybe it might even seem like hes unsatisfied doing it, as at the time there is no personal connection with V1, no love nor hatred. its not romantic, hardly so. i dont know if this is a good example, but i was thinking abt Prince Siegfried's dancing in Waltz: Tempo di valse...

once V1 is pretty much responsible for his 2-week notice, i like to think Nightingale/Gabriel starts to match V1's high energy, his grace is kinda going out the window... itd be much more intense. if its a pas de deux hes probably getting his fucking hands all over them like hes about to tear them apart. hes abandoning that princely facade. i feel like though in the second half a pas de deux between them would make them slow their pace. now that both of them are dancing together and able to match intensity, it starts to slow down into something more... romantic? yeah :3 i like to think this, this is where any romantic tension starts

now about how he changes from the gilded nightingale to the nightingale. you see... after their second encounter, Gabriel is convinced hes going to die, after all thats what he was told. once he returns from heaven, he seeks out V1 to ask of one final request. he doesn't want to die lonely, and asks V1 to dance with him until the final hour runs out. V1 has no reason to accept his request, other than something pulling at it do so and the possibility it could take a little bit more blood before he's gone. dancing together, progressively Gabriel becomes weaker and weaker.

i REALLY wanted to keep this secret for a scene i wanted to draw but honeeesttlyyyy i dont think its too bad if i share it. after all, im not sharing V1's feelings here. im sharing Gabriel's :3

i had this whole.. plan

my thing abt pas de deuxs is that. i like to find symbolism in the fact that traditionally, the male dancer is supposed to support the ballerina to be able to perform moves she typically wouldnt be able to on her own without someone holding her.

towards the end of their dance, V1 switches positions to hold and uplift Gabriel instead, who has this entire time been in the place of the male dancer. in his approaching final moments V1 lays him down on the ground. he's hardly moving, and V1 holds onto him, finding itself not wanting him to just... disappear.

now im still figuring out HOW i want this to work. but i thought abt V1 in desperation, grasping onto the sides of his helmet and ripping his helmet in half being the symbolic thing that sets him free. the thing about the gilded nightingale, is that the armor is the bird's cage. Gabriel's design in this AU only really has the helmet and no other armor, so it just... makes sense to me. this is what sets him free. how the transformation works though? i am.. still thinking about it. you might need to give me a bit to think about that

#im trying not to make that transformation magical girl esque LMAO BUT ITS SO HARD NOT TOOOOO #.txt #ask #sorry for rambling meoww #ultradanse au #crazy? i was crazy once #im considering redesigning ultradanse gabe a little again im not sure why

20 notes · View notes

pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 1 year

Text

diiary 2/25/2023

okayyy i been needing to write a longform post for a while! just to chronicle some thoughts in a cohesive way. & getting straight to the point: i'm realizing there is very little, if ANY payoff, to being an artist online. i'm not talking about money. im talking about the way it's like, the more ppl start to see you as an "artist", the more they feel like ur some kind of public figure they can lash out at w no repercussions. ur humanity is just wiped from their minds. i don't have some huge following by any means but for ME its gotten big since in the past i've been a serial deleter. usually at 800 followers im gone.

i love being creative & sharing for the sake of sharing but i deeply fear any kind of spotlight. since i came back onto tumblr i made the pledge to myself not to delete my account if it started growing but now im having second thoughts!! well i'll never delete this account cus im too sentimental but part of me just wants to stop posting in the ways i tend to do. like maube im too forthcoming & need to slink back into the shadows a bit. because i don't want to stop contributing art & music to the world but idk how to protect my heart.

like it's so crazy to me that artists are expected to b these idealistic icons of everything the viewer represents & if they make a single mistake its like fuck we better launch a pUBLIC HARASSMENT CAMPAIGN!! genuinely like, how are people supposed to want to put themselves out there when the climate is so hostile? it has got me feelin rly nihilistic i must admit. trying to put nice stuff into the world shld not be generating drama for me, especially when it's just my hobby & not even my "career".

for a while ive had no idea what to do for work or how to generate income in a way that works for me but honestly? im gonna bite the bullet & do some coding bootcamps so i can try n get a remote job doing some tech shit & making a fat salary. i guess i never rly considerd it before cus all the silicon valley stuff susses me out but idk. im naturally really good at code + my only real dream in life is to be able to support others & redistribute wealth. like ive never had anything of my own to share but if i could actually do this & become the secure+charitable person i wish to be, i think i cld finally have some inner peace/sense of fulfillment. plus i cld still be a recluse ^_^

ok well i guess that my diary entry for now. im rly grateful to everyone on this site who is genuine & respectful towards me. i am really enjoying all my creative projects right now & i just dont want it to ever stop being fun just because the internet doesnt want it to be fun for me. i seriously wonder why artists are the number one targets right now, i mean not to get too conspiratorial but like, this is exactly what the CIA wants :/ wahtever....i have no agenda other than plur. but yeah, i might just start to distance myself more from posting anything other than my work. we'll see. just kno that i dnt want it to b this way. ilu guys

32 notes · View notes

madame-mongoose · 2 years

Note

Here be my questions :0

1: Will ooie be including the darker aspects of fnaf (Willam Afton, Vanny, etc) or will it have those removed?

2: Will this story be a long one with different arcs or a short one?

3: What are some things you’re excited for?

4: Is fanart okay and are there ref sheets of the characters?

5: Will we meet other employees or animatronics or will this story focus more on sun, moon, and y/n?

6: I’m assuming this is a no but might as well ask anyway but will there be an Eclipse?

7: What sort of troupes can we expect to see?

8: This isn’t a question but every time I see your y/n I think of a depressed Garfield

Sorry if you’ve already answered some of these questions before and if I came off rude- I’m not the best at wording things ^^’

Omg so many questions!! Ty :D

1. Most likely not, besides virus stuff. In all honesty me and Sy uhhhh DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT FNAF ANDHSJ other than the DCA of course. I've only gotten past the daycare in my Security Breach playthrough. Fake fans I know lmao

2. Sy says probably shorter!! Not like super short but also not as long as CCRT or Solar Lunacy are looking to be

3. SO. MANY. THINGS. I can't even share like,, most of them 😭. The one thing I'm most excited for tho is for y'all to see how nasty and mean Sun is he's TERRIBLE (I love him)

4. YES YES fanart is ABSOLUTELY OKAY!!! I would cry if y'all draw fanart for this fic 😭 as for refs, the ref for y/n is here. And for Sun and Moon I don't have any updated refs?? But!! I will be posting full body colored art of them soon so watch out for that 😁

5. Yes we will meet other employees and mayyyybe other animatronics??

6. Sy doesn't think so bc they wouldn't really know how to incorporate them? And honestly I don't either akhdjs tbh I always.. forget Eclipse is a thing don't kill me lmao

7. Sy will be tagging stuff as they go but some things you can expect to see are hurt/comfort, angst/fluff, enemies to friends to lovers, bully sun and sympathetic moon, and some other stuff we'll figure out along the way!!

8. LMAOO THATS SO FUNNY I CACKLED AT THAT AJDHJS

Sorry this took so long to answer I had to send some of these questions to Sy!! In fact if y'all have any questions specifically about the plot or story of ooie @sycopomp is a much better person to ask ajhdsn

#sorry this took so long to answer #what great questions!!!#tysm for all of these #i loooove answering ooie questions #yall rule #our orbit is elliptical #ooie #monnie answers

87 notes · View notes

applin-bottom-jeans · 4 months

Text

trying to reorganize my life for new years

through the power of agile brainrot i'm doing a new thing for time tracking and i kind of want to share it here (especially since i don't have a real update for pigeon-splice like i wanted)

so last year i tried to figure out organizational methods for the stuff i had in my life because my current system - writing down weekly todos and then breaking those into daily tasks - wasn't really working, both in the short term (large tasks that need to be done during the day get kicked, forever) and long term (no tracking for long term projects with deadlines)

but then two things happened

i read up on agile stuff

i got put on a better release type of my meds and holy shit i am less wiaefrjueiwahjfdeioswAFHeouihf (and then got put back on the old version because of a miscommunication between docs and then put back on the new version, more on that later)

I'm not a big fan of kanban because i feel like in card form seeing all of the cards you have in your queue gets extremely overwhelming, especially if you dont have a good way of organizing them by tag (so really, i just hate trello).

but scrum. im in a deep love-hate relationship with scrum. Here's my understanding of scrum, which may not be entirely accurate, with commentary -

Sprint - a length of time where work is measured, usually 2 weeks - no comment, perfect length of time, love that

scrum points - how much work you think a task will take, which will help determine the amount of work you have planned for a sprint - this can get ambiguous depending on the work you do. What happens if something goes wrong? What happens if you need more information and need more time? I understand that there are many tasks that you can learn to estimate well, but at what point is a bad estimation due to your performance or outside factors?

burndown chart - how many scrum points you estimated vs how many you've actually done - this helps with the issue with points and i think its good in theory but also i really don't want a chart of how poorly im doing thats easily accessible by someone higher up in the food chain who might want to decide who to lay off

Sprint planning - a meeting where you plan what will be in a sprint - great. no commentary.

standup - a meeting with your team every day to discuss what you're working on - introspection is good but why do i have to tell my entire team this information every single day. i have an anxiety disorder

sprint review - discussing how the sprint went and how much you got done - good, great

sprint retrospective - basically the same as the review but with vibes - not sure why this is a different meeting but ok

Basically i like the idea of scrum and i really like the philosophy of its work tracking but i feel like the implementation of it in a team turns it into glorified micromanagement. But this is for personal use? Seems good, lets try it out

This still doesn't really help solve the long term project problem but for that i organized the year into financial quarters, like a completely normal person.

So for every quarter this year, i'm planning on having a set of quarter wide goals (duration measured in a month or more), a sprint level goal (duration of days - weekish), and a daily goal (should be as simple as possible).

My general goals for the year is get better at art to the point where i'm finally happy with it, get through all the craft supplies i've accumulated through the years, do big stupid projects, and get healthier i guess. This quarter I'm working on a big BD2 project, a couple of sweaters, a few art challenges, and cleaning my apartment. In the end, my breakdown for this looks like this:

Q1:

Quarter-wide

* BD2 Project

* Two sweaters

* 3 art challenges

* Deep Clean apartment

* Ramp up back to exercising regularly

* Get 6 pages into the pokemon cross stitch project

* Get 2 haircuts (usually i get 1.5 every 3 months...)

Every sprint

* Run 4 times

* Make 1 good painting

* Make 1 practice painting (Q1 emphasis on portraits)

* Make 1 jewelry set (necklace, or earrings, or whatever)

* Buy food

* Clean out previously cleaned parts of the apartment

Every day

* Draw a bird (practice painting)

For this sprint I'm about to start, Bidoof (I named my sprints after dinky pokemon), I have the following specific goals which may intersect with the list above:

Ooblets Painting

Carpenters Close To You Practice Painting

Ahmed Aldoori's 100 head challenge

Clear out my closets

Make a fish pendant and lil anchor earrings

Page 2 of the pokemon cross stitch

Make squares for the current sweater i'm making

"Wtf is LSDJ" and beg people to listen to what i come up with

Get the music plan into LSDJ

And for any tasks that I didn't finish, they either

get kicked to the next sprint, in this case Carbink

get obliterated to hell

so i have the flexibility sometimes to push things off if they're not working out. i have already kicked out a lot of the LSDJ stuff because last week i had to go back on my old meds so i had to transition to old antidepressants and then transition back again to the new antipressants and my brain didn't like that. but its fine, we're fine. help

I then have a todo list i make for the day in the morning and i try to grab whatever i can from the goals list.

and yeah. i hope this helps getting my stuff together for this year. i already feel more on top of things but that might just be the antidepressants so

#uhhhh #life things...??#organization stuff

4 notes · View notes

cultofsappho · 11 months

Text

WIP WEDNESDAY

I don't have a fancy banner for wip wednesday, but I thought the bi flag would do. I don't usually do these, and the rwrb fandom rarely has these posts, but idc bc i'm very excited about the rwrb fic im working on!

I'm going back to work on my art school AU after a long break from it, with renewed energy!

Quick summary:

Alex transfers to a private art school in New York and ends up sharing a studio space with Henry, the golden boy of the school who just got back from an artist's residency in Paris. Henry is everything Alex thought he'd be by now. He already has such a sucessful career, not having even graduated yet, and Alex can't help but feel behind in comparison.

Excerpt below the cut:

[this scene takes place during a crique in thier shared Figure Drawing class.]

“Yes, thank you for starting us off.”

Alex gives her a winning smile. “There’s a lot of talent here, everyone did really well for the first project. I’m new here, so let me know if I’m out of left field, but it looks like everyone, myself included, might have focused too much on the torso and not enough on the limbs. We’re all a little hesitant, maybe?”

Sarah nods “I agree, good observation. Don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time to practice arms and legs in a few weeks. I might be able to squeeze in an extra session on that if we think we need it then.”

Alex sees movement out of the corner of his eye.

“Yes, Henry.” Sarah turns to him.

“Just, on the same note,” His eyes dart to Alex then back. “Weren’t we to focus on the overall proportions this time, and not to get caught up in the fine details?”

Alex scowls at him, he crosses his arms and looks away, back towards the drawings as if he were unaware of Henry’s tone.

“Yes, that was the intent. But it’s also good to take stock of overall weaknesses as well, so we know how best to spend our time for the rest of the semester.”

Alex bites his lip so he doesn’t smile. Get fucked, Mr. Perfect.

He inspects Henry’s drawing, looking for a weakness to exploit. His limbs are all on point. Elbows at the waist, shoulders just under three heads apart, accounting for the model’s lean build.

It’s too perfect. There’s always a flaw.

If he squints, he sees a hint of cross hatching on the edges, like Henry got bored too, and couldn’t stop himself from a little shading.

Alex smirks and gestures to the piece next to Henry’s. “But this one- I’m sorry, I don’t know everyone’s names yet- This one is great. I can still kind of see how many times you erased and started over, whoever made this one is really focused on measuring. They have more patience than me, for sure. But the one next to it,” He gestures to Henry’s. “Is that shading? I can’t really tell.”

Henry glares at him from across the room. Alex imagines steam coming out of his ears.

“Yes, that’s mine, I had lost track of the internal oblique muscle and used a little cross hatching on the edge to find it again.”

Henry takes a step closer to Alex’s piece. He eyes it carefully, the corner of his lip twitching up.

“You put a lot more emphasis on the skeleton than I did. I can almost see it peaking through.” It was a harsh dig; the model wasn’t skinny by any means. Meaning that- “I think it’s affecting the likeness. I don’t quite recognise Martin in it.”

Of course he learned the model’s name. Of fucking course.

I'm still working away at this, but I honestly can't tell how long this is going to end up being, so I'm hesitant to post ch 1 until I have more done!

Idk who to tag bc i dont which mutuals i have that actively work on fic... so, if you're working on something, please join and tag me in your excerpts!! or reply here so we can start this up in the fandom! the fic rec fridays have been so fun, time for wip wednesdays!!

If you made it this far tysm!!!! I'm! very! excited! (and currently working on some slutty ass pottery scenes rn tbh. just another teaser.)

Keep an eye out for this fic in the near future on my ao3: notcanoncompliant

#wip wednesday #rwrb #firstprince #writing

6 notes · View notes

omegasmileyface · 2 years

Text

Of All the People - Ch. 9

journal time! written by @attackradish and me and @ectolemonades. art in chapter 1 by @/toasty-ghosti

whole fic summary: After a stupid dare puts Dash Baxter in the lab at Fentonworks during the middle of a ghost fight, he finds himself a little more spectral than usual. Apparently Danny Fenton’s gone through the same thing (someone has got to call OSHA on these guys eventually), and who could better help Dash than his hero? His lame, stubborn hero?

warnings: Nothing for this chapter! In others, existential crises, and Spectra.

words: 1645

AO3 link

first chapter

previous chapter

next chapter

===

Star stabbed at her chow mein from her place on Paulina's couch. Her mind was racing trying to sort everything in her life. Between Dash's ghost situation, the hectic state of student council (you can't find funding for two new school dances in one year. You just can't do it!), and a tricky new Government paper, she felt like she couldn't afford to give all her attention to her friends.

"Oh my God."

Well, alright, she could always spare some attention for Paulina.

"What is it, Lina?"

"Dash has been spending an awful lot of time with Fenton recently."

"Huh." Kwan set down his broccoli beef and slowly leaned into the couch. "I guess it's probably a ghost thing. Like, Fenton's got access to a bunch of portals and weapons and stuff. Or at least he did when we went up against those pirate ghosts. How do you think Dash is keeping his secret from the guy?"

"It's more than that. Dash is fully putting up with Fenton. Even though it looks to me like Fenton isn't enjoying it much. If he needed equipment, wouldn't he just go to the guy's sister? She's actually tolerable."

Huh. She had a point.

Kwan shrugged. "Well, she is really smart. I bet he's worried she'd figure out that he's a ghost."

"Hold on. That might be it, but I think Lina's on to something." She was clearly going somewhere with this, and Star wanted to know where. "I feel like Dash has been following him around like a puppy. Almost like… he's started, like, admiring him, or something."

Kwan's eyes brightened in understanding. "Hey, if Dash has been getting help from Phantom sometimes, do you think maybe they're sharing resources? Say, if Phantom had any help getting into tough places and getting his hands on equipment, I bet Dash knows about it too."

Star liked how this was coming together. "Gosh, guys, have you ever noticed how Fenton seems to leave and take that thermos with him whenever there's a ghost? And that time that we were all over at his house, he certainly knew how to hand out weapons and get us using them."

Kwan smiled back at her, just as satisfied with a mystery solved.

"Wasn't it weird," added Paulina, "when Dash said Phantom had experience with half-ghosts?"

Oh.

'Oh my God' indeed.

Well… Star could work with this.

===

Kwan 7:38 PM hey man sorry u missed hanging tonight

Kwan 7:38 PM: dont really want to have this conversation over text but i get why u missed

Kwan 7:39 PM: paulina has this theory that the nerd ure hanging out with is Celebrity Ghost Watch

You 7:39 PM: what hes not

Kwan 7:39 PM: whatever man

You 7:39 PM: shut up

You 7:40 PM: you cant tell ANYBODY!!! u guys super were not suposed 2 find out

Kwan 7:40 PM: yeah i get it i read spider man

Kwan 7:40 PM: we would never do that to him or u

Kwan 7:40 PM: dont worry

You 7:40 PM: thanks.

===

"Hey, Fenton."

"Star. What's up?"

"I know you're Phantom."

"What?"

===

"And it's just them?"

"Looks like it. Paulina and Star swore themselves to secrecy. Kwan did some kind of intricate bro handshake with me that ended in a pinky promise. Dash wasn't even there."

"I wouldn't trust a word out of their mouths."

"I don't know, Sam. I, for one, think we could use this to our advantage."

"Of course you would, geek."

===

"I'm so fucking sorry my friends found out about your thing!"

"Don't call it that."

"I swear I didn't tell them."

"I know. They already told me. I'm still trusting you to keep them in line, though, alright?"

"Of course! I'll try not to let them bug you too much either."

"Good luck."

===

"What's up with the sudden interest in ghost culture?"

"Well, really, Danny, it's such a fascinating topic. But there wasn't really anyone we could ask about it before we knew you were, you know, not a massive loser!"

"Thanks. My reputation is saved. Hallelujah."

"So? You've got to have something you can give us a lesson on."

"Fine. Get prepared to dive right in, though."

===

"Specter Speeder is ready. Everybody got your bags secured?"

"This is going to be a fun new form of Hell."

"Don't I know it, chica."

===

November 19

I didnt realize how long its been since I journaled. Shit's just been so hectic lately I kinda forgot to be honest haha. Well for one thing my friends know about Dannys secret now. Paulina just sorta put it together. Shes always been good at problem solving and that kind of stuff, apparently I've been hanging out with him way more now and that was enough to make a conection? When Danny found out he insisted his friends and him get to talk to them to make sure they don't rat him out to the G I W or whatever but honestly it looks like their getting along pretty good after that. My friends wanted to see more stuff about how ghosts live(?) so we got to go on a trip Danny and his friends wanted to take me on some time anyway. It was Ok so apparently when Danny got ice powers he had to figure out how to use them and also not freeze to death (am I gonna get ice powers?? is he gonna have to teach me? or would I learn straight from these guys) and when he did that, it was these like sasquach guys who had to train him for a bit. So now their like buddies. They live in an ice tribe called the Far frozen and that's where we went today. That's in the ghost zone!!

It was really scary worrying tbh. The ghost zone is super not designed for humans to be in it so it was kinda like we where going to space or something. Aparently people can breathe and stuff but their organs will get all fucked up from the weird gravity and radiation if theyre out there for too long. Danny said I'd be fine though. So anyway we had to wait untill the fentons weren't home, and Dannys' friends got this spaceship car thing out and told us a bunch of safety prep like we were going on a roller coaster. Do they really think we were just gonna fuck around and put ourselves in danger in a new dimension? It was like listening through the instructions before the C A T. ugh. But it was cool becuz after that we got to go into the ghost zone! The portal kinda sucked to go through, it reminded me of when I the bazooka. But when we got in it was super cool, it was like you could taste the air without opening your mouth… it was like when you drink an energy drink to stay awake and it actually works and doesn't feel like shit.

When we were driving there was all these doors and islands and stuff just floating everywhere. Danny started talking about it, and there was so much cool stuff I didn't know about ghosts!! The doors usually go to ghost's lairs which are like there personal homes (do I have a lair or is it just my house? I should ask Danny what his lair is) but sometimes they just go to diffrent time periods and places in the normal world?? There was this sick ass island that had a giant skull on it. Some Junglanji shit. But Danny said we couldn't get close cuz the island belonged to that Skulker guy. I don't see what the issue is when I've seen Phantom take him down so much before but there was too much other cool stuff to put up a fight. One time it looked like we were gonna run into a school of fish, but they were little green blob ghosts. I've seen those in town a couple times but theyre never in swarms like that back home! Blob ghosts are SO CUTE. Maybe I can have one as a pet some day.

So when we got to the Far frozen it was cold as hell. What a surprise huh? The whole place was just this massive plain of snow. It was like those pictures of Canada. But as soon as we got off the ship, the main chief guy Frost bite greeted us. He was this yeti sasquatch polar bear thing and he was HUGE but once my friends were done being scared he shook our hands and offered to carry us and oh my god he was so soft. Also his arm was like made of ice and it had bones showing thru it, which is just wicked. He took us into the town, and they had igloos and furs and stuff like those Alaskan tribes but there was also electronics and stuff? I didn't even think ghosts had towns let alone made tech. Everybody was super nice and they had all this great art made out of ice. I get that they have ice powers but oh my god?? Oh yeah and everybody kept calling Danny great one like he was the guy in one of those midevil romance flicks. I don't think he wanted them too but when we asked why, Frost bite told us he saved everybody from that viking dude who put the town in the ghost zone freshman year. God I didn't even think about how it was Danny who did that.

Yeah. We got to eat some of their food when we knew it was human safe and then we went home. I could sleep for a day but it was sooo cool. (Heh that was kind of a pun)

#srry theyre doubletexting in a time of each individual text costing money i like it better this way #also to repeat our ao3 endnote:#look. 3 adult gen z writing nerds trying to emulate the pov and writing style of a teenage millenial jock is hard enough #and trying to balance realism (i proofread a lot of (college) jocks' writing) with readability/pleasure has been #terrible. so let it be known that we did our best :) and theres more coming (with writing choices that look both better and worse) <3 #danny phantom #invisobang 2022 #my writing #swagger bishie #halfa!dash #halfa dash au #dash baxter #teddy ghost #check ao3 for more tags!

23 notes · View notes

rontra · 1 year

Note

Okay, your ideas are just so fascinating.

First Raven x Willow, and now Summer x Salem.

They're curious ideas, and I would really love to know what inspired you to create fanworks based around these two AU crackpairs?

BHSDFHBJD i'm glad you think it's interesting 😌

i think it comes naturally with the territory of having my particular media interests. OR maybe my brain is just wired in a special way and it's not as natural as i think. i dont knowHBDSFMJ

I MEAN OKAY the most barebones, un-entertaining logistical answer is: as someone who is a big fan of the rwby milfs i necessarily end up with a lot of rarepairs on my hands because the pool of characters i choose from is already chock-full of rares who have minimal or no interactions w each other. but that mostly accounts for my one-off "huh that's neat" posts that i don't really pursue further (certainly not to the point of. umm. how many words is TCaBS now)

the second tier is of course that i just think it's fun. right. it's fun to come up with ways to execute something like that and it's fun to see what other people think of it. it's not always very deep sometimes it's just a fun prompt challenge or experiment. it doesn't take a lot of effort to think of these ideas because this play is very intuitive to me, so a lot of the time i'm just in my little playpen and it produces fanworks that you can also see

the third layer of the answer is the storyteller instinct (lol) and where it really starts burrowing into my brain. that's when there's character to dig into. bc i LOVE doing character stuff and figuring out how 2 weirdos would interact and what would ripple out from that…

Raven/Willow and Summer/Salem are great examples of this to be sure. definitely rarepairs that have STUCK with me and ive gotten INVESTED in making fanworks for. this is because i find their characters complement each other very well and create interesting stories just by simply pairing them together… i've already talked At Great Length (and could easily talk for Another Great Length) about summer and salem's relationship specifically in the context of my art of them, and there's something like it going on with blackswan too--

the type of narrative relationship that they have… raven and willow are sort of mirror characters to each other too. both are absent mothers to the primary characters, who vanished from their positions after being knifed in the back by someone they loved (raven was let down by team strq when she needed them most; willow's husband finally tells her that her entire life is a stageplay farce) - both of them are totally checked out from their family and reclusive - both of them are inclined to drink (overt with willow obviously drinking on screen, more subtle with raven strewing bottles all around her tent) - neither is recognizable to their daughters as the same person they were before breaking, and reuniting with the woman who vanished is still a resolution hanging over us - a great deal of emotional real estate is vested in them despite having relatively scarce screentime, right? they're both very interesting characters in their own right and it made me hop around like a little goblin that RT gave me a pair of mirrors who Do Not Know Each Other's Existence (well, that's not necessarily entirely true; raven might know willow EXISTS on account of roughly knowing the schnee family roster since theyre . kinda famous. but even that would be one way and sort of Conceptual rather than personal lol)

the way they handle their problems is different, as is their overall strategy for engaging with the world. but those differences ultimately highlight their similarities too, and the end product is that its only more interesting to try and imagine how they would function as a pair, sharing so many of the same wounds but coping with them differently. could they condemn each other? are they used to not being condemned? TCaBS is at least partially about willow being the only bitch in the world who looks at raven and goes "no i get it", you know? i'm into that kind of thing--this is ALL OVER the summer/salem fanworks too--and any type of interesting dynamic like that is what really gets me into making works to explore it…

i'm using raven/willow as an example here just to demonstrate the line of thinking i had particular to that ship of course. there's a lot of various dynamics in the world that you can easily spin up by picking two or more rwby milfs and pushing them together. it's just one example but that's sort of how my brain works with this stuff in general. i don't really ever think about if the characters have a defined relationship in canon or not. i just think about what would be interesting or complementary… i'm following my heart!!!!!! playing in my playpen!!

this is a long post just to say pretty much it's largely that i operate without thinking about things like "rarepair" or "crackship". i just go "look at my ships boy" and post something ludicrous that still somehow sells people on it. amen

13 notes · View notes

ambalambs · 1 year

Text

So idk if this is something strange to post but ive been trying my hand at writing fanfic about miko lately since I dont trust my art skill to do the little scenes that I come up with. But I also have zero skill in writing so this probably isn't any good either lol but im having a good time with it. And if anyone cares about my little miko musings I figured I'd share

———

"If you have a moment or two to spare, pray consider playing a little tune or two on it to practice."

Miko trailed behind Artoirel and his manservant through the Firmament, but he immediately froze in his tracks as they came upon the twin grand pianos the man had been describing.

"Often it takes time to get accustomed to a new instrument," the manservant continued.

Miko, however, was barely listening as he slowly approached the pianos. The pair truly were a spectacle of craftsmanship. One was pure black, the light of the day peeking through the clouds brightly reflecting off it. The other was white. The soft ishgardian snowflakes dusting its surface just barely visible as they rested upon it. Miko made his way to the white one, his fingertips barely brushing along the edge of it as if his mere touch would mar its surface.

He moved around to the bench before the piano and immediately took a seat. The keys laid out before him just beckoning to be played.

"I must say our hero might not need much time to practice at all, Foncrineau," Artoirel grinned. "You look right at home, my friend. Have you played the piano before?"

Miko smirked lightly and placed his hands upon the keys. He didn't press down just yet, instead taking a moment to simply get the feel of it again. Being as musically inclined as he was, Miko had tried his skill on many instruments. If he put his mind to it he could play just about anything to a relatively pleasant extent. Enough to carry a tune at least. He found he was most fond of anything with strings but there was something special about the piano.

And as Miko felt the weight of his fingers on the keys it occured to him just how long it had been since he played. It really had been too long. And as he mused upon this thought a memory seemed to push itself forward. Not in the way the echo painfully did, no, but simply just a memory of his own from a simpler time.

———

Miko was just a boy in this memory. No more that nine or ten summers old. He had only just begun staying at this farm and its hyuran family for a couple of days. It had been strange but not unpleasant. The trauma of his loss was still fresh during this time so it was still difficult for him to truly allow himself to settle in. He still hung onto the expectation that his father would find him soon like he promised and take him home.

On this particular day he found himself wandering around the family's home. The man was somewhere out in the fields tending to whatever farmers busied themselves with. The woman was in the back of the house putting their small child down for a nap. This left Miko unattended for a time so he claimed the opportunity to quietly explore.

He wandered into the living area and trained his focus on a particular piece of furniture that had grabbed his attention when he had first arrived. It was big and wooden, but although the top of it seemed flat enough to hold trinkets, it was clearly not a shelf. Or at least not one he had ever seen before. There was, however, a booklet of some kind resting against the front of it. Miko glanced back over his shoulder for a moment to confirm he was still alone and reached out to skim through the booklet. He wasn't sure what he expected since he was well aware he wouldn't be able to read its contents even if he wanted to. But he didn't expect the strange lines and scribbles that filled the pages. He was fascinated by whatever these strange symbols could mean but he quickly lost interest in their mystery for now and placed the book back in its place.

What next caught his eye, and honestly the main reason the piece of furniture had caught his attention in the first place, were the small intricately carved designs on the wood. There were leaves and vines and flowers, all clustered together in the corners and along the surface. And among them were carvings of little creatures he instantly recognized to be sylphs. He had seen sylphs before playing among the toadstools while gathering herbs with his mother. She always warned him not to get too close. The green ones were nicer than the purple ones but they were still known to be tricksy.

As Miko reached out and began trailing a nail through the grooves of the carving, he liked to think this sylph was one of the green ones.

"It's pretty, isn't it?"

Miko jumped, immediately dropping his hand from the carving and whirling around to stare wide eyed at the woman behind him. His ears pressed flat against his head. The woman stood there leaning against the entryway with a soft smile. She had told him her name once when he first arrived but he still felt little reason to commit it to memory. He'd be leaving soon, after all, once his father returned for him.

"Oh goodness sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," she laughed lightly. Her laugh was sweet just like his mother's and it briefly tugged at Miko's chest as he inwardly berated himself for being so easily snuck up on.

"It's called a piano," the woman continued and gestured to the furniture before him. "Here let me show you." She tottered her way over to him, a hand on her pregnant belly. Once she made it to him she moved to reach beneath the piano and pull out the bench hidden below that Miko hadnt noticed before. He quickly hopped in to pull it out for her and she thanked him with a warm smile. She sat with a sigh that only a young mother can give and patted the spot on the bench beside her expectantly. Miko hesitated a moment before relenting and sitting beside her.

The woman tapped a finger to the wooden surface before them. "Go on, lift it up." She sounded almost giddy as Miko turned his wide eyed gaze from her to the spot she was pointing at. He wasn't sure what she expected of him to be honest. It didn't look like something he could lift, but as he curled his fingers into what seemed to be a seam in the wood and lifted, the panel easily gave way to reveal a long row of black and white keys beneath. Miko was instantly captivated. It was like he had revealed something mysterious and magical and hidden.

"My grandfather used to be a very skilled carpenter," the woman began. "He used to make all sorts of things but musical instruments were his specialty." Miko listened as he gazed at the keys before him. This was an instrument? They had many kinds of instruments in his village that he had played and loved but nothing like this. Suddenly the woman leaned in close to him, their shoulders bumping and whispered, "You know they say he even made some violins for an ishgardian orchestra that played before the archbishop himself."

Miko stared at her in awe. He didn't know what ishgard or an archbishop was at the time but it mustve been something truly important if she was being so secretive about it. She smiled and lightly giggled as she leaned away, Miko's attentive gaze never leaving her, hoping to learn more. But she instead gestured to the keys, "Go ahead. Push one."

Miko glanced at the keys with wonder. He carefully placed a finger on one and made to press down but it was sturdier than he anticipated and didn't give at first. So he tried again with more force.

DONG!

Miko jumped, ears once again flattening as he turned in the direction of the bedrooms where the toddler was sleeping. Immediate fear filled him. He hadn't expected it to play so loud.

The woman beside him laughed lightly again. "Dont worry about waking the little one. Once he goes out not even a calamity could wake him. Thank the Twelve for small mercies." Miko nervously looked back to her, calming a little. What happened next would remain in Miko's memory forever. The woman placed her hands on the keys and began to play. It was a pleasant tune. Something light and relaxing but Miko watched as her fingers seemed to dance along the piano. He found himself already placing each note and position of her fingers into his memory, the melody already latching onto him for later. He had always loved the sounds of the instruments back in his village, the strings and the flutes and the drums. Each would fill him with their deep and winded tones. But the sound of this was so different from any he had heard. It was almost like a chime but it rang so deep he could feel it run right through him and into his core. Oh he was already in love with this. He wanted to keep hearing more. To test out its limits for himself.

As the woman beside him played she began to speak to him as if the very act of playing the instrument was second nature. "This piece has always been one of my favorites. You strike me as someone who can appreciate it, too." Miko quietly nodded without taking his eyes off her hands.

She then suddenly stopped just as quickly as she began and gently placed a hand on her belly. "I hope to teach the little ones someday, but I dont think their hands will be quite dexterous enough for quite a while." She looked up towards him then, a gleam in her eyes. "How would you like to be my first student?" She said as she briefly booped a finger on the tip of his nose.

Miko's face scrunched up at the sudden contact but he turned his gaze down to the piano before him. He carefully and slowly placed his hands on the keys just as she had. For a moment he pressed his lips together in thought, then began to quietly hum the melody he had just heard her playing. It was soft, a bit raspy and broken in his throat from lack of use. But he ever so gently began to play the first few notes. It was slow going but the ease at which he so quickly picked it up was impressive. He felt a small smile tug at the corner of his lips and immediately stopped. Letting his hands rest upon the keys he thought, maybe it was okay if his dad took a little longer to find him if it meant he could learn how to play this just a little. He let the smile fully claim his face, as small and soft as it was, and turned to look at the woman next to him. "...sure."

———

As Miko pulled himself away from the memory he found himself smiling that same soft smile to himself. Remembering Artoirel had asked him a question he quickly straightened himself up and ran his fingers down along each of the keys with trained skill. "I have but I confess it's been quite a while," I replied with a grin.

"Well, it seems the Firmament will be in for quite a show," said Artoirel.

Miko chuckled and quickly scanned over the sheet of music already placed on the piano before him. Artoirel claimed he had written this piece so Miko was already determined to do his friend's creation justice. He softly started humming the new melody to himself, as he was wont to do with new pieces, before turning his attention back to Artoirel.

"You keep up writing music like this and you'll soon be writing symphonies for the Eorzean orchestra."

Artoirel chuckled, "Please, you praise me overmuch."

Miko laughed softly and turned his attention back to the piano before him. His heart suddenly warmed at the thought of performing before the people of the Firmament despite the cold of the snow. He'd have to write home about this and let mom know he got to perform a musical number to the esteemed ishgardians.

#i really hope that readmore works cuz this is a little longer than i expected it to be #also i havent written anything creatively since high school so idk how structure works anymore lmao rip #i might lose my courage and delete this tho hhhh #lambs personal junk #lambs tries writing #miko jinjahl #final fantasy xiv

2 notes · View notes

creatorloveralchemist · 2 years

Text

july 16 2022

today i had a weird dream.

I dreamt that i was married and my husband was perfect. he had dark hair and rich skin. he had a full beard and defined jaw. dark eyes, and a strong and tall figure. he was a work of art. Looking at him, i could feel how much he meant to me. I dont remember all the scenarios very well, but i remember that i had a friend. she was petite and blond, pale skin, big blue doll eyes, soft round face. the complete opposite of my husband. i remember i was in “my” bedroom (the one i share with my husband) and i was moving things around before getting into the bed. Then, i was tucked into bed and i turn to my right to see my best friend in bed with me. her face looked so sweet in the warm soft light from my bedside lamp. her big blue eyes turning into sapphires. We smiled at each other as we talked and i remember feeling flushed about being so close to her face. i turn to my left and my husband was in bed with us, wrapped in the blanket and facing the other direction. i felt jealous, like i wanted her all to myself. if he caught me kissing her, he might encourage me for his own satisfaction. and the thought of being in that scenario with them lusting after each other too got me upset. I ached for her, wanting to kiss her soft lips, but my husband needed to be gone. I woke him up and asked him if he planned on sleeping in the bed. That was wife language for get out. He said he would go sleep in the living room and got out of our bed.

The next thing i remember is that we were at a party at my house, that my husband and i were hosting. my friend had came up to me and i get butterflies as i look at her face. We were planning on staying at her house tonight and we were both giddy. I felt such a strong attraction to her and i wanted to sleep with her. i desired her. We are holding each others hands and we’re interrupted by my husband calling for me. I turn back and see him searching for me through the crowd of our guests. I saw his handsome face and wave of guilt hit my face as i remembered how much he meant to me. He asked me what was going on and i felt frightened by his urgency. I told him i was only going to stay at my friends house for the night. he said no, i know you’re lying, i know you’re really going to go out and see someone. I felt such inner turmoil. he was right, i was going to meet with my lover, but she was my best friend. I love him so much and we have a life together already. this is a man i had a home with, he married me because he was committed to me and he loved me. and i felt so terrible for being interested in someone else. But I felt so strongly for her. If i go through with my desires, I break his heart too. Thats selfish right? so must i bare the pain of not being with her because im married? is that selfless?

#dream #journal

7 notes · View notes

afreakingdork · 3 months

Note

I got so excited when I saw you updated Weak Spot that I actually almost puked while in the middle of reading 👍👍. Sorry I cant express how much I adore your work but you make really really really good stuff. Thats 3 reallys cuz I mean it a lot. Legitimately life changing I think I might even use the reader character and donnie as a reference point on how to approach communication better in the future, like, in general, not just in romantic relationships.

I think you're one of the very few long fic writers who my frustratingly impatient and short-attentioned brain was actually willing go wait for on every chapter, I've never read a fic that gripped me by the neck this strongly since I've left the Undertale fandom. Weak spot is just that good and I think I'll crave everything you have to provide as long as you're willing to share them with us readers.

Oh yeah and also as young adult I really look up to you btw, in general because I like the bright yet tempered energy you show through your posts and also I think your work ethic is admirable and the fact that you're very literate in the way you respond to ask as well (kind of expected since you're a seasoned writer after all, of course youre very literate), and also, as someone who's attempting to actually down my fic ideas and day dreams, I've recently been trying to look just a bit closer on your work and how you approach descriptions and dialogue and learn better that way, kind of like how artists do master studies and observe and attempt to replicate experienced artist's techniques, quirks and art style to apply to their own work as well. Currently I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate that use of metaphors you do often to sort of indirectly and almost abstractly describe what someone is going through, like in this week's chapter 56 where Donnie's self exploration is described as a journey with Reader simply accompanying them to a certain point. This is my favorite part in each chapters you write and I know there's a term for this technique but that might distract me from my train of thought so uhm. Make of that as you will I suppose.

I especially love how maturity really shines through your work and I love how slow and almost inconsequential/very normal (yet tremendously intimate) their daily life as a couple and honestly, in a lot of romance books I see I dont think they highlight that part enough and I'm so glad you let the readers breathe between chapters while still being able to build up tension when something bigs about to happen. I'm assuming (though I am pretty sure) that this is probably born from years and years of writing considering this is a type of writing paired with that mature energy I was picking up is something I could rarely find in the fics (or books in general) made by teens and people my age, and thats pretty incredible. I've never seen characters treated so very clearly lovingly before and whenever I compare my current work as of now it feels like playing in a kiddie pool then being met with the experience of looking on into the deep blue waters from the white beach then deciding to run to the sea to see the near-immortal multi-colored corals and all the beautiful thriving life underneath the waves. Its exhilarating really. Theres a depth in your work that makes it feel alive and almost timeless which I'm extremely motivated to achieve basically. Considering you've never let on or at least hinted that you're a professional writer irl or anything like that at all, and the fact that you somewhat implied you write because of passion is incredible because that means (this is all assumption of course) that you've likely been doing this stuff for years for free out of love and (likely) for yourself which is. Actually crazy honestly, as someone whos very prone to giving up even if I'm passionate about my work.

Okay, wait, this is getting too long, whoopsie.

I kinda want to say more but unfortunately I dont have the energy to type everything down since my mushy emotions about the fic are hard to pin down enough to make a coherent description right now. Ah and sorry if this ask gets a bit incoherent at times, english is my 2nd language and I'm also not very good at spelling either 😅.

But yeah.

Thank you for taking the time to make each chapter a wonderful, awe inspiring experience Miss Dork, you're a fantastic writer and I'm hoping I'll be able to see more of your fics/works in the future, even if its not in the Rottmnt fandom.

-K.M

First off KM, you are SO FREAKING SWEET!!! WHAT A TREAT IT WAS TO READ ALL THIS!!! YOU ARE TRULY DARLING AND I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!!

Ah no puke!! Was this chapter nerve wracking?? When I write I get a little removed so I don't really know sometimes what emotions it might illicit...

Life changing? Ahhh! 💞 They always say communication is key to a relationship and sometimes when people harp on something it's absolutely because it's true! A big part of Weak Spot is I wanted to challenge myself that the relationship itself was never a point of contention. These two loved each other right off the bat and them being together was never going to be something contested. Now everything around them happens to be an on and off dumpster fire, but c'est fiction~

Wah!!! I'm truly so honored by everyone who seems to wait on pin and poodles for my writing! I am constantly in awe that you all want to read my silly indulgent story!

You look up to me? I'm going to cry for real. No like, no joke, reading this actually is making me a bit choked up! 😭💞 I'd love to dive into my experience if it might help. I would not shun being called an experienced writer as it's something I've done on and off for almost two decades, but I only began writing seriously (read hyperfixiating) since 2019. Since I have zero chill, I sort of speed ran the writing process, but that's not what I attribute to my media literacy. I don't know if I'd call myself a hypercritical person (some would call me that for sure), but I have always loved to examine the media I consume. I can absolutely turn my brain off and have a good time (I have a long love affair with 'bad movies'), but I also love thinking and love expanding. When it came to reading, I often trend toward fiction books that talk about peoples lives, Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe and Eva Luna by Isabel Allende come to mind, in addition to autobiographies such as Just Kids by Patti Smith. For visual media, my friends often like to joke that no one can pin down my style because I happen to like such a broad range of films. I think all movies are good in different ways, whether they are indie, autobiographical, fictional, magical, poignant, bro comedies, ect and so forth. You mentioned the recent chapter (56) with the field metaphor. I watched Lamb (2021) this past October and was picturing the large estate pictured Iceland when writing it.

I think studying others writing styles is good and I often do it to my peers. I've surely geeked out to both TheKingPen and desceros about their own writing styles and metaphors, the like, as you described of mine! I asked them probing questions on how they work because I was/am endlessly fascinated by their prose! We're all sponges, humans I mean, and I believe that our lives are pinball machines where we bounced wildly off one another. Only we are malleable creatures and with each ping, we take a little bit of that other person with us. Whether that be actual people or media consume, I consider that the same. We're tapestries to be woven as the Greeks said about fate and this fact isn't just romanticized, it's science as indicated by epigenetics!

The technique you're searching for sounds like one under the house of metaphor, maybe extended? 🤔

It's funny you call me mature because as soon as you said "slow and almost inconsequential/very normal (yet tremendously intimate) their daily life" I literally screamed and bounced as if my tail was wagging! Hello, you've tapped something Dork is feral about so prepare for another tangent:

I am OBSESSED with what I call banal dialog!!!

Now this is a point of contention with many of my movie friends, but I will die on this hill any day of the week. For this example, I'm going to take one of my favorites: Reservoir Dogs (1992)! Now do I like Reservoir Dogs? Honestly? Meh. I'll never forget their use of Steeler's Wheel, but that's not what's important here. What's important is the opening scene! We open on a seemingly innocuous and, to many, boring scene with eight gangster at a diner who aren't even talking about the heist. They're talking about other things and interacting with their food and the wait staff at the diner. Some think this scene is useless and doesn't do anything for the film and I will punch every one of those people in the face with my ferocity alone. That scene does EVERYTHING for the film. In fact is does the most heavy lifting out of most scenes in Hollywood. Sure, a monologue can do wonders or a silent following of a character through say their morning routine reveals a lot, but you know what really fucking reveals the most about a person? How they act in public!! The fact that Mr Pink doesn't tip isn't some fucking pseudo speak on tipping in America (though it could be) it's a jumping off point for you to know EVERYTHING about his character in one tiny itty bitty seemingly nothing display! We know he's staunch. We know he's steadfast. We know EVERYTHING we need to know about his personality and BONUS? Because he pushed back against the norm, every other character at the table (if they wanted) got a chance to voice their opionions so we got reads on all their personalities too. We see one many get easily swayed, we see another show his intelligence, we see yet another show the level of sympathy he has. All these things end up dictating how the heist in the movie actually goes and why and it all came from a few paltry minutes at the beginning of the film where they ate breakfast!

UNF JUST TALKING ABOUT IT HAS MY HEART AFLUTTER!

Now the most lethal Reservoir Dogs for this purpose (btw fuck Quentin Tarantino) because it is WITH PURPOSE! You can't just be banal for nothing. You have to be banal for a reason. I've been pretty outspoken about it before, but I also don't believe films/movies/shows/ect should ever have scenes without purpose. Everything that's done should serve the plot! Banal moments SERVE PLOT and I think it's a very underutilized concept.

Honorable mention to Hayao Miyazaki and his art of silence. I mentioned it above in following a character, but Miyazaki (and typically other Japense directors) know when to let scenes 'breathe' so to speak which does what banal dialog does in a literary sense. The breathing gives perspective for both the characters and the audience and I think is very much worth throwing into this conversation.

Also hey, look! You did a metaphor right there with your deep waters comparison. I could see it though I would totally disagree with your kiddie pool reference to yourself. You will never be me and i will never be you. Your work has just a right to exist as any other and who knows, I might have read it if you've put it out! I might recommend it to other people! I'm a big fan of many works, whether they're 'good or not' (whatever that means) that doesn't mean they don't have place! There are fics I've read that story wise or say writing wise are a TOTAL MESS and I love them regardless because maybe their character portrayal was flawless or their idea was just so good I loved that they were creative enough to share it!

Plus and I don't mean this is a braggadocios kinda way, but no one and I mean NO ONE should compare themselves to me. This is written in a derogatory sense: I am not a normal human being. One of my best friends asks me all the time "how are you still alive?" and my answer is "I DON'T KNOW MAN!" I am not someone to look up to or someone to emulate. I am just feral and hungry and no one in the this world, not even me, can get a handle on this leash.

That being said, I am so blown away by how you describe my work! Consider me shifted from choked up to misty eyed! I am not a professional writer by any means, but I'd love to turn my work into books. I just have no idea how to break into the market! I definitely do this all out of love (READ HYPERFIXATION!) and yeah for free (not discounting my pateron folks, I love you endlessly forever, but it ain't a living though it is IMMENSELY appreciated! Ya'll pay for the patreons I sub to and like a fast food meal once a month XD)

No apologies for the length! It was such a blast to get this! Also you did AMAZING! I was never confused once and your thoughts had a clear through line without being confusing in the slightest! Your English is impeccable!

Thank you for taking the time to read and write to me!!! Def got more fics coming (Valentine's fic, a aroace Mikey fic that also happens to be a Donnie x reader, and more weak spot and her sequel!)!

Feel free to hit up my DMs if you want to talk more! Thank you again!!!!

#ask

1 note · View note