remember when I considered posting poetry? *throws at you and runs*
i want to be allowed to live-
another day in the sun,
another ribbon in my hair,
another laugh, another smile, another restless night in june,
to sit and cry is the greatest thing i do,
tears upon tears in the passenger seat.
for love to take root, the pavement must crack
i will blossom,
yellow, or pink, or green,
stubborn and unrelenting at the side of the path you walk
there can be another day in the sun,
another ribbon through my hair, perhaps a flower,
I will smile, you will smile, and we will laugh through tired evenings in may,
there will be a reason to continue, a day like today after the next,
but for a chance to live, experience, to the extent we wish-
There must be change.
Change is the folded covers on the bed.
Change is the progessive clearing of my floor.
Change is your hand in mine.
Change takes time, change takes grey days in march.
Change will change me, will change us, as the world stays untouched,
Yet I will have all I've wanted. I will learn to live, and I will learn to grit and bear it, for another summer, another spring, another Christmas, another show, another song, another dance, another another another until I am so full of experience I can settle, i can breathe, and look back at the people I have changed, for the people who've changed me,
and smile.
If I learn to love, it will be the greatest thing i have ever done.
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i love when words fit right. seize was always supposed to be that word, and so was jester. tuesday isn't quite right but thursday should be thursday, that's a good word for it. daisy has the perfect shape to it, almost like you're laughing when you say it; and tulip is correct most of the time. while keynote is fun to say, it's super wrong - i think they have to change the label for that one. but fox is spot-on.
most words are just, like, good enough, even if what they are describing is lovely. the night sky is a fine term for it but it isn't perfect the way november is the correct term for that month.
it's not just in english because in spanish the phrase eso si que es is correct, it should be that. sometimes other languages are also better than the english words, like how blue is sloped too far downwards but azul is perfect and hangs in the air like glitter. while butterfly is sweet, i think probably papillion is more correct, although for some butterflies féileacán is much better. year is fine but bliain is better. sometimes multiple languages got it right though, like how jueves and Πέμπτη are also the right names for thursday. maybe we as a species are just really good at naming thursdays.
and if we were really bored and had a moment and a picnic to split we could all sit down for a moment and sort out all the words that exist and find all the perfect words in every language. i would show you that while i like the word tree (it makes you smile to say it), i think arbor is correct. you could teach me from your language what words fit the right way, and that would be very exciting (exciting is not correct, it's just fine).
i think probably this is what was happening at the tower of babel, before the languages all got shifted across the world and smudged by the hand of god. by the way, hand isn't quite right, but i do like that the word god is only 3 letters, and that it is shaped like it is reflecting into itself, and that it kind of makes your mouth move into an echoing chapel when you cluck it. but the word god could also fit really well with a coathanger, and i can't explain that. i think donut has (weirdly) the same shape as a toothbrush, but we really got bagel right and i am really grateful for that.
grateful is close, but not like thunder. hopefully one day i am going to figure out how to shape the way i love my friends into a little ceramic (ceramic is very good, almost perfect) pot and when they hold it they can feel the weight of my care for them. they can put a plant in there. maybe a daisy.
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bam! angst!
more virus shen jiu au !
part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4
During Maigu Ridge when yqy apologizes (to sy)
virus!sj is there with the silly lil idea is his appearance changes on how he feels
so he unintentionally changes into xiao jiu
idk when sj would actually gets a body again (it'd prolly be before Maigu Ridge but shh)
but i like me some angst, sue me
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this moment in the game made me oddly really emotional because it's like, you were loved unconditionally once. you had a mother, you might still have a mother, and you can't deny that she loved you at least once and wanted to keep you safe. it's your name. and there's nothing you can do about it, you can't refuse this name once you know it.
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