#i dont know how i survived the first time
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TG: i thought about taking his sword
TG: when i was there
TG: but i couldnt
TG: couldnt really bring myself to try to pull it out it was too weird
Even if you did, you’d have to break it in order to wield it - and unlike your regenerating sword, I don't think Bro's katana will be very effective as a half-blade.
GG: dave we have to stop him!!!!!
TG: what
GG: jack! […]
GG: why dont you stop jumping around through time like a maniac and stop being like a hundred daves all the time and come to my house so we can make a plan to kill him??
I’m liking this new, more pro-active Jade. With Rose distracted by Doc Scratch's games, we probably need a new leader, and I think Jade could fit the bill.
However, I don’t think any number of Daves would be enough to take Jack down. That’s exactly what Aradia tried, and we all know how that turned out. If a thousand telekinetic necromancers can't put a scratch on him, I don't think Dave will fare much better.
TG: besides we cant beat him
TG: look what he did to bro and davesprite together
TG: im at the top of my echeladder with all the fraymotifs and i stand no chance
Dave’s already stronger than Future Dave was when he came back to the past. His progress is astounding - but the session's power creep has got so bad that it doesn’t even matter.
Like - let's imagine, for a second, that all four kids attacked Jack with their full power, right now. If they all synergized perfectly, taking full advantage of John's hurricanes, Rose's Horrorterror connections, and all the time duplicates Dave can make....
They'd still be reduced to a fine mist.
Jack has inherited a power strong enough to raze the entire Earth, and none of the kids can touch him. Becsprite initially seemed like an opportunity to match that power, Sun-to-Sun, but Vriska, for her own godforsaken reasons, nixed that plan.
The kids have got nothing. Even their plan to cheat by destroying the Green Sun is probably hopeless, because we know it ultimately serves Doc Scratch's ends, not ours. Things are really dire.
TG: only thing we can do is hold out until the scratch
GG: what is the scratch?
TG: guess i shouldnt really say
TG: since you sort of lead the way in making that plan
And then there's the Scratch plan itself, which is apparently Jade's idea - although I'd be extremely surprised if Doc's grubby little fingers weren't all over this one, too.
Opening rifts in space is certainly Jade's department, so I think she's going to suggest it as a counter-plan to Rose's more risky Sun strategy.
TG: if we cant beat him
TG: all we can really do is exile him to a place where he cant teleport back
TG: which hopefully buys us some time
TG: to try to take out his power source in a crazy suicide mission
A two-pronged approach, then. They trigger the Scratch, push Jack through a rift, and then send Rose's dream self out to destroy the sun before he's able to return.
...man, this is such a dangerous idea. Even if it wasn't being influenced by Doc, it'd still set off some huge alarm bells.
Like - sure, destroying the Green Sun might help this session survive, but what about every other session? Don't they need the Sun, to power their non-corrupted First Guardians? I just think we should maybe think for a second before deleting a critical piece of the reproductive mechanism for the entire multiverse.
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hey! i’m on break at work, time to get this issue DOWN
the title and cover of just mallow is not worrying /lie
the pinepaw art in the first page is so cool BUT DAFFY NOO :( shoutout to mallow for being on action, and him hesitating on coot :(.. PINE HESTITING ON CORM NOOO even if barren survives will the otp?!? OH SHIT CUPID!!! AND FERRIC’S SHIT PARENTS!! IS THAT HEART OF WINTEE THE GAAANGG. OH FUCK RANGER ANE HACKSAW.. PROWL FUCK OFF PROWL NO PROWL DONT TAUNT THEM.. WHAY DOES DEEP WANT WITH ROSE?!? NO FUCK NO FUCK MALLOW NO NO FUCK NO FUCKKKKKKK
suing for emotional damages. i have to go back on shift in 10 minutes how am i meant to be nornal
I always manage to strike so many people who are either at work or have to go to a shift when an issue posts, which is very funny to me. Gotcha dude.
Glad you like the issue though :) Love seeing the dread building. Clap if you know the dread everyone!
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DICK KNUBBLER MAYE STILL BE ALIVE
Kinda
Alright before I do anything take this with a grain of salt, cause it’s probably a continuity error / can be easily explained away BUT if you all would like to hold onto some hope please just hear me out. And also it offers a question for yall.
Alright! So!
On twitter someone had asked Brendon and Gene about Murmaider III and its placement on Dethalbum IV ( which btw shoutout to Gene’s wife that was brilliant ) and Brendon had mentioned that what sets 3 apart from the other two was that it was more dreamlike, and that it was made AFTER Army of the Doomstar. Now since Brendon and Gene weren’t the ones to make the order on the Album we can’t set a timeline for the songs ( though they are set in Brutal to Dreamlike order once again shoutout to Genes wife you goddess ) we can at least say that some songs were made post Army. In fact we could also make some assumptions about what songs were made DURING army. So I’ll separate that list here.
NOTE : YALL DONT NEED TO READ THIS PART THIS IS JUST ME RUNNING WITH “ some songs were made post AOTD which ones could they be teehee “ JUST KNOW MURMAIDER AND SOS WERE AFTER KUBBLER DIED OK SORRy I’m not deleting that whole thing I like it
Songs with “ * “ are canon, the rest are personal interpretation.
DURING ARMY OF THE DOOMSTAR:
* Aortic Desecration ( the first song of salvation but obviously not )
* SOS ( song of salvation )
Gardener of Vengeance ( Nathan directly references this during the scene where he confides in the band and Knubbler that he doesn’t write songs about hope and he’s just doing what he knows. I believe he wrote and recorded this but felt it wasn’t good enough to be the song of salvation and moved on. HOWEVER the language he used could place this as post AOTD because it sounds more like a thrown out there example kinda like how he figured out SOS in the cave )
Poisoned By Food ( Again I think this is a scrapped song of salvation since besides the actual poisoning of food a lot of the imagery feels like the what the metalocalypse was described like )
BLOODBATH ( guess what another scrapped song of salvation. This one feels like a ‘you don’t scare me I’m going to confidently stop you because if I go down you go down with me’ song. Also it could be Nathan trying to reach out to Magnus since he was one of the people on his list. Also quick note I’m going song by song so I don’t know if I’ll notice if any other songs would reflect the list I just got out of work so I’m not gonna catch it all rn )
Horse of Fire ( this is tricky because lyrics like star still blazing allude to this being written before aortic desecration but also Nathan didn’t have the talk with the whale until the deadline came up in which he had to go with aortic desecration <he wouldn’t have had time to write about the fist or the hand.> But the lyrics don’t have the <we should reach out to the fans> revelation that SOS has. Maybe this was a draft for SOS but I think once Nathan figured out what SOS was meant to be it just came to him naturally. I’m not sure. HOWEVER since the doomstar is referred to as a star that is still blazing and not a portal that’s been destroyed it’s safe to say this is not post AOTD. Either way this is an important song to keep in mind if you look at this speculating )
POST ARMY OF THE DOOMSTAR:
* Murmaider III ( stated by Brendon Small in the interview. He said he feels that the boys would have written this after AOTD and based off of interviews he’s had in the past about his songwriting process it’s hard to not take this as canon so. )
DEADFACE ( I think this is post because while the song plays during the movie only Skwisgaar knew about the possession so the lyrics wouldn’t quite make sense yet. It’s a tricky placement but I can see Skwisgaar playing around with it since he does play the notes during the movie )
Mutilation on a Saturday Night ( this feels so much like a we survived so now we’re gonna party song I can’t see Nathan Skwisgaar or Pickles make an argument for this being a Song of Salvation. Also all the fucked up shit they talk about references what happened during the metalocalypse but it’s spoken in past tense like a ‘hey we fucked shit up but we fixed it so now we’re just gonna keep fucking around haha’)
I am The Beast ( simply cause I don’t see this as something Nathan would write during AOTD but the ‘ I am a beast this is my domain and when I speak you scream my name ‘ could work as a salvation line but it feels too much like a Mutilation Saturday Night ‘I can write whatever I want cause I lived and I’m not gonna hold back’ vibe )
Satellite Bleeding ( this feels like the first song they would have written and recorded after the doomstar died. Kinda like watching the sky clear up after a storm. )
Now despite me rambling on about this I would like to draw attention to what’s canon. Specifically SOS and Murmaider III. These songs came out after Knubbler died. Yet Dethalbum IV credits Knubbler for production.
Drawing your attention to how crediting in the Dethalbum works, each album has a little section for Dethklok to get musical credits and thank whoever and whatever. There’s also production credit and location credit. On ALL of the Dethalbums Knubbler is credited as producer. Cause he’s the producer makes sense yeayeyaeyah. But whenever there’s a change in location or production, there’s additional credits.
ANOTHER NOTE: I DONT HAVE THE KLOK OPERA CD I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE CREDITING SYSTEM LOOKS LIKE ON THERE but if someone happens to be selling that cd outside of eBay please let me know
Let’s look at them.
Dethalbum I ^
Shit ton of credits right, and on the other page which I didn’t take a picture of and can’t because I’m not home at the moment there’s credit to Snakes N Barrels for “Kill You” with each member listed. Take note that songs that are considered exceptions are credited differently and locations not at Mordhaus are credited.
I lied I have the other page. For those without the dethalbum cds the actual credits are usually on another page and “Kill You” got mixed in with it
Anyways
Dethalbum II
Hey Knubbies gets to thank someone this time! Anyways once again Knubbler is credited for production, but also Dethklok. Keep this in mind. Also the fact that different location credited for Murmaider II but it’s recorded at Mordhaus
Dethalbum III
Knubbler credit AND Abigail credit along with Dethklok AND once again location credit is Mordhaus and another fuckass place. Only thing that’s not really credited is Magnus with The Hammer but idk if he was like Toki and William where they play the songs but don’t really write or if he actually wrote The Hammer. I’m not a HammerHead, I’ve seen people interpret him as both, but at the end of the day idrk.
So what about Dethalbum IV
Knubbler is credited. At Deus Keep. Only Knubbler. Only at Deus Keep. “But he’s not credited as a Producer” True! If the album was released in universe it would probably be a producer credit. Especially since Brendon and Ulrich have Producer credit on the page prior. Maybe it’s because Knubbler didn’t make it to the final production stage. Or maybe he’s staying hidden undercover..
Remember earlier. He canonically was not around for two of these songs on this album. He could not have recorded OR mixed SOS or Murmaider III. Even if you don’t fully think that Murmaider III was made Post AOTD, SOS was done post Knubbler death. Hell, the song was dedicated to him by William! But there’s no separate credit for SOS.
If we went on the same basis as previous albums SOS would have been credited to that part of Norway where they traveled to that I forgot the name of and I’m not gonna look up but you get the point. Or even Dethklok would have been credited as production. I could also say something about how Murmaider III wasn’t recorded in the Mariana Trench and how the whale isn’t calling to Nathan anymore but that’s for another day. Right now though, it’s just Knubbler. Just Knubbler and Deus Keep.
Which leads to 3 possibilities.
Knubbler Lives: Knubbler survived ( the flashing things on the ground were teleporters ) and Deus Keep is rebuilt. To celebrate their survival they make Dethalbum IV but don’t release it
Knubbler Died: The band recorded the last few songs on the album at the remains of Deus Keep. Knubblers presets aren’t changed so credit remains to him. Once again not releasing it.
It’s not an album: Dethalbum IV doesn’t exist in universe. That’s why there’s no producer credit. That’s why Nathan doesn’t thank the klokateers ( he thanks the army of the doomstar which is just him thanking fans ). Dethklok recording it post AOTD is more to do with how Brendon records dethalbums than in universe writing.
I like to think that this is just an unreleased album in universe since the record label is more than likely destroyed, but it has the possibility of releasing one day if society is rebuilt to what it once was. But it really depends on if you think the album is canon to the universe. Cause there’s no Mordhaus credit on Dethalbum IV and there’s no way for SOS to have been recorded at Deus Keep and blablabla
something fun to think about tho yk?
TLDR: two songs on dethalbum IV were made after Knubbler death yet the credit doesn’t change for him in the dethalbum so there’s a chance that he recorded and mixed those songs cause he is alive and well horray
#metalocalypse#take this with a massive grain of salt#take it with a rock of salt tbh#dick knubbler#I’m rambling like crazy but :(#also I just noticed on dethalbum IV it’s the first time Murderface isn’t placed last in credits#I’ll be honest if Knubbler wasn’t credited at all on dethalbum IV I would have cried very much#I FORGOT TO SPOILER THIS I AM SO SORRY#ARMY OF THE DOOMSTAR SPOILER#SORRY#ARMY OF THE DOOMSTAR
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closing time
#you know situation's dire when sparks breaks out the color block sona vent art LOOOOOOOL#sparks speaks#vent#again to all my new-ish followers i do post stuff like this from time 2 time PLEASE block one of those tags if you don't want to see it#long post#edit: fine to rb idgas#ummm NEway. i go back to college in like a month and the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. idk if i can do it again tbh lol#i dont know how i survived the first time#<- LYING he does. and it was by letting the dissociation he is currently bitching about swallow him completely#if i really committed and tried i could probably claw my way out of this. but there's really no point when i'll just fall back into it soon#the forgetting my entire life does suck though. it does suck.#its really cool learning you've lost the only thing you thought you couldn't lose.#anyways. i'm fine im chillin i just. needed to get this out#if youre reading this preciate you. drink water
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gg buddy am I right (ethubs doodle that I don't know what to do with)
#ethubs#Ive wanted to draw ethubs angst for so many days but art block is still hitting hard and this thing has been sitting around for awhile#hey ethubers how did you. survive#last life ethubs upsets me so much make it end#The way after Bdubs dies Etho is trying to justify to himself not having given him a life to begin with rather than#telling him to prove himself#its like he expects the others who are with him to comment on it but they dont. Etho's all "I couldn't have just given it to him you know..#without them asking about it or anything. And Etho just keeps going. god damn it Etho I feel so bad for them#dont even get me started on what Bdubs said to G about Etho grrrr GRRRR I saw that for the first time not long ago GRRRRRR#I still wanna draw proper ethubs though. someday#also the damage to Bdubs' face is supposed to be from the rocket Lizzie shot#does it make sense? No probably not but its an excuse to make him look more dead#tubby art
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the fact that buck has canonically tasted eddie's blood is still just so fucking mindboggling to me. like everything about the shooting is made 10x more insane by the fact that it's so exclusively a buckley diaz event, and no one other than them in their circle bore witness to 1/10th of it, including the will and buck breaking down in front of chris, but the blood in the mouth thing is just positively batshit. I imagine one time they're all hanging out drinking together and for some reason the conversation turns to the weirdest foods they've ever eaten and buck zooted out of his mind drops "eddie's blood" and everyone just
#i dont know how yall survived watching that episode live im still going through life like i watched it for the first time yesterday#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#weewoo brainrot#911 abc
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trying something new pt. 2
no makeup vers ⬇️
#first of all he definitely didn’t do the eye makeup himself i don’t know who helped him but somebody did#second of all this was fun to do and i like it but im worried this is something i like and then in like a month ill look at it and#all of a sudden it will be bad and i will be EMBARRASSED that i posted it bc whateve blah blah artist insecurities you know how it is#third. of. al. .. i cant talk about that art he commented on i start gettying dizzy im serious ohmygod im sorry i cant talk about it i will#pass Out ive said it eight hundred times i’ll say it again i won’t survive the face reveal i actually won’t Ok im fine im calm im composed i#i went. insane on my private just DONT. dont contact me don’t come by my house im in love with him oh my god who said that#dream fanart#dreamwastaken fanart#dreamwastaken#my art#reblogs are welcome
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i made 2 new ocs and i love them but one of them is going to die and im upset about it
#my post#local man attempts to write a tragedy for the first time. wish him luck#its about a person whos disconnected from others and just. generally apathetic. survives and keeps to themself and thats about it#and then they meet another person. and they choose to let themself get attached. and its wonderful and exciting and fulfilling in a way thi#person hasnt felt in years. but like i said.. the other person is going to die.#and the person blocks it off turns it off pushes it down at first. but that just leaves a sinking feeling in the persons stomach every time#they look at the other. so they choose to feel it. they choose to feel the grief and the love at least until its time for them to part#and when they do. the person only considers pushing it down again. i mean its reflex at this point. but they let themself feel it and they#let themself cry and they let themself breakdown#and like. even though it hurts it hurts so much.. its better than not feeling it. and just the years of all of it of all the not feeling#comes out. and they head back home alone again#but this time. they think they might get themself a pet. and maybe theyll even talk to people when they go into town#the end#augh#i have no idea why my brain decided i was gonna make this. i dont know where the hell this came from#just went 'oo i want an oc whos learning how to care for others again' and oops! dead people!
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rambling in the tags
#sometimes its hard to be happy for other people and you dont know why#it's a feeling im no unfamiliar with but it's been a long time since i've felt it that i dont know how i coped with it the last time#i really feel like i should be happy for her#and i know that deep down its not about the car it's more than that#she's already so independent and ambitious#this is just going to multiply it tenfold#and maybe it's also because im older than her that i feel that i should be the first to experience things#but that's never been my life#not compared to hers or any of my friends#right now it feels like my life is in a survival mode#im really only thinking day to day and not long term#and the stuff that is long term is so daunting and big#all of that to say that im in my feels and im probably going to be here for awhile#gonna make an appointment with the therapist for next week#dl
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these past few days i have been uncharacteristically. emotionally open. w my friend and it has me thinking about how truly for all of my life i just did not expect anything from anyone
#like since i was a kid i just accepted in my head that all the ''friends'' id have were ppl who either were just putting up w me (probably#bc they had no one else and i was like. what was available) or ppl who cared ab me yeah but i was still their second or third choice#and i was just like. yeah ok. i can survive w that. like consciously i made the choice to hang out w people i knew didnt really like me#bc it was better than not having anyone to talk to#did it hurt any less when those ppl eventually stopped talking to me or i learned theyve been talking about how annoying i am to others?#no it didnt. bc i still cared about Them and had Them as my first choice. but i just thought. thats just how it is. im jist not really#likeable. so ill take what i can get#when i was like 7 or 8. i had one friend at school. and she had like some issues at home or smth idk but sometimes she would just start.#treating me badly or just ignoring me for months at a time. and its not like it deeply traumatized me or anything i honestly didmt remember#this fact until like last year but the thing is that i just. accepted it. i was just like yeah ok for half of the year or so my only friend#will act like she hates me and ill have no one to talk to. thats fine. ill just wait until next year when she likes me again. at age 7. and#now im just like what the fuck man why did i just accept that as my life. through all my childhood and then with other friends in my teen#years why did i never not once try to do better for myself. yknow?#when i was 11 and in another school my best friend suddenly started not talking to me. after a month or so of this i decided to invite her#to my house to play like we had done so several times before and she just looked at me like she was confused i was talking to her at all#and said ''why?''. and i was just like. ok. thats that i guess. genuinely why did i just accept these things#and like yeah i have friends that i feel Get me now and one i love just so much and i can tell loves me back but theyre online. i dont talk#to anyone irl. i dont know how. and im happy im so happy but im also scared that im just doomed to be extremely lonely forever irl#because i am legit just not likeable. not to be a weird a weirdo but yeah im just too different from ur average person my age i cant#connect with them in any way. and i also dont know how to talk to people or make friends or to find people that are like me. ill just#not have anyone forever#i guess#especially bc now i dont hate myself enough to hang out with people i dont like so like. i dont even have that as an option skdbskdjks#Every friend i ever made happened bc the other person reached out to me first and insisted on it. all the friendships that stuck were the#gay autistic/adhd weirdonerds who can relate to my hyperfixations and dont expect me to act Normal™. idk how to find the former group irl#and have never once iniciated a friendship. my fate is to be someone who has online friends only and exclusively#and dont even get me STARTED on the topic of having a girlfriend someday-#anyways. certified magnus archives moment
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i just cried myself into a headache because nimona and my brain has been dogshit all week so goodnight, good luck, godspeed and enjoy rampage or whatever i hope it's fun im gonna dip
#hey psst i dont actually really know how to accept birthday wishes#and this is the first time in literally 30 years ive actually like openly talked about or acknowledged my birthday#so like if you were planning on doing birthday wishes or whatever you can totally do that#but also if you just think it at me real hard ill feel it and know and that would be extremely cool too#like therapy has done a whole lot but it hasnt even TOUCHED this ahit yet so like#publicly acknowledging my birthday is a big step but like actually engaging with it is another and we can totally skip that part#too big a step if you ask me#so just like#stay quiet and if the world survives another year maybe ill be ready by then#but like donwhat you gotta do im not your boss
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watched tusk today that film is so funny and also so harrowing like wow let me lie on the floor for a min
#like its sucg an absurd concept that i was laughing all the way through but then at some points ur there like#it forces you to see it as ridiculous until it becomes all too real and theres a guy who's a walrus fighting for and clinging onto his life#that will never be the same#and when he CRIES at the end like 'crying is important bc it seperates us from animals & shpws that we're human' (powerphrasing)#maybe he didnt go 'full walrus' but has some of his humanity in tact and maybe hes crying for the life he once had and the way he#took his freedom for granted#& the scene where he's underwater and there's all the past walrus experiments corpses like. do u think he was the only one to survive bc he#was the only one who wanted to. who fought for it. did the others simply give up because they couldnt let go of what they once had and so#spared themselves a life they didnt want to live created by a monster#ALSO ok the scene where he kills his creator. the man who rebirthed him as a walrus is the same scene where he for the first time does#exactly what the man wanted to do and helps the man to achieve his life's goal and he dies happy but at the sacrifice of his creations#humanity.#so the creation kills the killer and emerges as the killer's masterpiece and purpose. then he's nearly put out of his misery but not and#put in an animal sanctuary where he's constantly exposed. how is that okay#i do wonder whether he'd have thanked them if they did just shoot him after he killed his creator but. i dont know. i dont know.#ok ive run out of thoughts can u tell idk these characters' names lol#tusk 2014#movies#‚
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today was awful and idk if things will ever get better. but spending 30 minutes listening to voice clips of starscream being very awful and evil and murderous put a little bit of life back into me. he’s rly just out here yelling abt how he’s going to destroy autobots and im like “yesss that’s my powerful lord and ruler!! that’s my starlight!!” and every time he snarls or snaps it always makes me feel... idk the proper word for it... but i feel rly loved bc it makes all of his whispered sweetness to me feel so much more wholesome? because it’s so rare? he’s so unlikely to be so loving but he is loving with me and,, i dunno, that’s special. that’s something i’d rather think abt right now instead of everything stressing me out anyways
#vent#but whatever. one day at a time#i think id feel better if i got a fixit cameo but i'd need money first#i havent gotten a cameo in almost a year. except that one from silco's VA#i had to recently pay over $1200 in car repairs and they still dont know how to fix it#and i have a rly expensive dr appt this monday thats supposed to be like. 500-700#i need to open emergency commissions but im so burnt out#i dont have a choice tho what else am i supposed to do#my new department isnt gonna give me a pay raise like i was told#and im just gonna be stuck there my entire life apparently thats everyone's plan :)))#keri is born keri isnt given anything and then keri is shoved into a company for 60 years#i will just work until i die <3 and never have enough money to survive <3 thats fine <3#maybe the universe will throw some sort of opportunity in my face
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so turns out it isnt normal to constantly be ready for the fight of your life literally every second of every day
#today i learned#so like yall people just go about your lives without thinking about how everything near you can and might kill you and how to survive it?#like seriously how#and yall survive????#how.#what are ypu gonna do if that random guy walking behind you in the store decides he wants to know what it feels like to take a life?#take precious time to think about what you have to do (after it's already started happening or happened) OR think about what to do the#moment he comes within your perception???? obviously the latter. and no it isnt just about males either#i dont have friends in person because i know they can just go batshit insane for no reason at the drop of a hat#look at how many groups of girlfriends decide to gang up and visciously murder or maim one of their 'friends' just becuase they can#obviously the first that comes to mind is the slenderman attack but there are MANY many other examples#or what happens if someones tire blows off and it goes through your windshield? what would you do?
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i really do wonder if we'll see the end of the mcu soon though cause the quality of the movies has undeniably been getting worse, and ive noticed a lot of casual fans (which is what most people i know are, including myself, at least a few years ago when i would have actually considered myself a fan at all) are completely uninvested in phase 4 and havent really liked any of the movies lately. plus with how fast theyre pushing them out, overexposure could lead to a huge backlash soon
#when i say soon i mean like within 10 years because the disney project plans stretch out so far into the future#i mean idk we might get a big collapse that cancels a ton of future projects like with star wars but i doubt it#avpost#but idk i think mcu backlash is definitely a lot more common now than it was five or six years ago#but then again i think of how like all they had to do was get people from the raimi trilogy to stand on screen#and that was enough to get a ton of people to consider nwh to be great even though it sucks#not that thats necessarily proof that the movies are gonna survive either since a lot of people also didnt like nwh#i dont know it just feels like every release is either middling reviews or extremely mixed reviews. only those two options#plus they all get like almost no hype and excitement and then they leave the conversation so fast#people were talking about infinity war for MONTHS before release. like IN DEPTH talk. big major hype.#and then after it came out people were speculating and writing theories the ENTIRE time until endgame#nobody is talking about doctor strange 2 anymore and that was like two months ago#in two weeks or less nobody will be talking about love and thunder anymore im sure#nobody even noticed eternals. nobody talks about shang chi or black widow.#even the shows like the only one that left any sort of impact was wandavision.#the rest just like. air. and i dont ever see them come up in conversation or online after like the first couple episodes#(keeping in mind that im sure the most hardcore of fans are invested but im talking abt the general population)#(which is like. probably more important cause you cant keep a project this big alive on a specific fanbase alone)
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a random draft where i was ramblingg about witch hat & art to myself for myself :)
rare time i feel like actually going off about the thing i’m having fun with right now in more detail ... but not on twt where strangers might try to discuss back at me lol sorry but that is scary. (not that you even have the room to soliloquy on there)
i love how there's characters for varying types of artists to relate to. people like agott who have been adept at drawing from a young age but feel overwhelmed by feelings of not meeting their expectations. and are driven mostly by feelings of wanting to prove their worth..
people like oru who have always been around the art but now are burnt out from commissions and wondering just what they're drawing for... and ones i relate to the most personally like coco and qifrey, who started drawing at an older age to the skilled people around them. like coco i'm so happy that i'm in the world of drawing(/magic) now and excited every day but also weighed down by fears that i'll never get to what i where i need to be after starting at this late stage and also whether i'm really cut out for this....
and like qifrey i only started drawing after a narrow escape from trauma... i started drawing to make sense of what my life is now, just as he was invited by beldaruit to become a witch because it was the only safe path he could take. (although i've not been through anything quite like what he's been through... ouagh)
and there’s tetia who just wants to draw to make other people feel happy about what she’s made, to have fun, and spread hope and happiness and gratitude. who feels so happy whenever someone thanks her for what she’s created - i understand now how it feels to want to thank them for thanking her and how making art, when you get a meaningful response, can be a truly warm communal type experience. but you do need that response - her overwhelming happiness when the dragon thing was happy and she said it was the first time she’d ever felt fully appreciated for her magic and it made her soooo happy. she had been drawing until then, but it was the last puzzle in place to make her realise the breadth of what magic can be for her.
and riche who is determined to not lose the “her”-ness from her art, doesn’t want to learn new techniques and become more regular and orthodox in style if it means she feels she’s losing something... i get that!!! precious autistic-coded child... the ways we feel about our art differ depending on our own mental landscapes. hahhhh... shirahama said she began this series because she was having a conversation with artist friends about how it feels like drawing just really is magic. i mean..... it is.
i think writing feels like magic too, and i’m glad i can do both now. any creation is total magic. i’ve drawn scenes that were in my head and that’s let other people see them and if i can trust their comments about it, has moved them in some way or at least let them imagine a scene or a situation that they wouldn’t have imagined otherwise. but it’s different from just telling someone about it. when you draw something, or write something it really exists now - outside of you. THAT’S SO WEIRD.
i liked drawing a lot of takarazuka things (before i realised i got kind of burnt out drawing all this transcore stuff that people were not exactly responding to because it’s so niche and weird lmao) but drawing fanart for something that also ONLY exists in art is so special. it’s not acted by real people. like.. they’re just little people that someone drew and now i draw them too. total magic. and she gets up and draws them every day the same as me...
i love that a manga isn’t just art, it’s storytelling too. doing both writing and drawing at the same time - it feels like such a perfect and fascinating combination of skills and facets of creation. i’m better at writing than drawing, so i don’t feel like i can express my original stories well enough in comic form just yet. but i might just get there.
the world is so confusing and overwhelming and terrible every day. only creation is something i can understand. sometimes i can’t understand it - when i feel REALLY bad, it’s definitely like, what’s the point. and i wish i had more things to experience at present than just creation - i want to be outside and just feel and be as well as create. and at some point i’ll definitely stop posting my creations online. but creating has become something that i don’t need to understand the reason for it - so at those times when i wonder what the real point to any of this is.... lately, i usually still create anyway. just as you’d still breathe and sleep even though you’re hurt and confused by the horrors of the world. it’s becoming how i express myself. i find myself drawing pretty much every day because it’s part of how i make sense of shit now and i naturally want to do it. not doing it is painful.
i hope this magic continues. i hope it becomes far more wonderful than i can even imagine from here.
and i won't lose.
#things really are different if you start drawing in your mid/late 20s or onwards.#you haven't developed your idea of yourself as an 'artist' at the time your brain was developing your identity.#but reading something that is basically saying- it's not too late and you have your own magic that only youan do... is so heartening.#also the manga is very gay. it's not THAT shockingly original and fascinating a story- but like...#i just don't know many ongoing fun series with interesting lovable characters where there are also major representations#for disability race queerness etc.#esp if tetia is trans. shirahama-sensei you can tell me...#MOSTLY IM LOSING MY MIND AT WHERE THE SERIES IS GOING LIKE I AM SCARED. my theories are dark and i fear for qifrey SOMEONE HELP HIMMM..#ONCE AGAIN LET SOMEONE HLEP YOU YOU QUESTIONABLE AND TRAGIC GAY LITTLE SKIRT MAN#i hate that i had to just let my fic be so short. I CANT WRITE ANY MORE RIGHT NOW...i would have to make up so much plot stuff#bc orufrey CANNT happen they cant freaking KISS until so much is sorted out between them which requires the plot moving forward and..#AUGHHH !!!! sensei please just tell me what happens please please please please please please please please please#the next chapter looks hella plot-ful but STILL..it's going to take YEARS..i just want to know if qifrey IS GOING TO SURVIVE THIS SHIT !!!!#if the brimhats [redacted] then he'll [redacted] and THEN WHAT IF [redacted] has to [redacted] I FEEL LIKE SENSEI'LL DO THAT !!! SCARED#SURELLLY she'll have [redacted] have to [redacted] but i dont think shed go as far as [redacted] ??????#i plan to go to japan next year if possible anyway but what if it's too early for an anime-fuelled merch section in animate. please#this is like the first new and non-zuka thing i've been hyperfixated on for years. i need official qifrey and oru items. I need the items#once again i feel weird putting my personal feelings and theories on the internet to an audience of nobody but once again we will die.#am i going to be on my deathbed thinking 'oh i shouldn't have happily gone off about witch hat on tumblr that time how embarrassing' no.#do you know how worthwhile it is to enjoy something. and to basically avoid other fanworks for the most part so you're just surrounded#by your own pure and enjoyable feelings.#i actually went to a local queer art place yesterday and like. man i was very different to them but#there are people somewhat like me out there huh. somewhere. i'm going to make zines and art and express my world. even if just a bit.#literally why would you priv reblog something like this i think there is something wrong with you? i feel better about myself now#i will find the ones like me not the ones like you <3
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