I want to be a natural parent.

I want my children to see nudity.

Not pornography, not kink, not sex.

Nudity. Nudity in art. Nudity as a form of beauty.

Nudity as a form of power. Nudity as natural and beautiful.

Nudity is not shameful. Nudity is not gross. Nudity is not sexual.

I want my children to see human bodies as beautiful. I want my children to see this as natural. I want my children to see the beauty in the natural human form. I want them to confident in their bodies. I want them to see bodies of all types. I want them to not shy away or blush at nude painting.

I want my children to look at themselves as see a beautiful human being and to see beauty in other's bodies. They will see breasts and see the feeding of children, not sexy tits. They will know the proper words for their body parts. They will not call it their cookie or coochy, that is their vagina. They will not call it their peepee or sprinkler, that is their penis. Studies show those nicknames excite predators. Pedophiles reported being turned off when a child said the proper terminology.

They will be taught that no one other than themselves should see their naked body, only people they want to see it should. What places are or aren't appropriate to be naked. When it is or isn't appropriate to be naked there. Who they should show it to and who not to. They will be taught to not allow anyone to touch them in certain areas and I will make sure they feel comfortable telling me if someone dose and who.

Children only see things as sexual when they are taught to and my children will not be taught that a naked body is inherently sexual. Because it isn't. It is simply a natural body.

Missing

This is essentially a re-imaning of a childrens story by Paul Jennings that scared me shitless as a Kid. I've spend a couple of days working on it, and I feel I've got about as good as it's going to get it. I still feel that something may be lacking, but I'll let you guys decide. (also I'm struggling to think of a good title).

MISSING

On the 14th January 2010, Sam Giddings went missing. He was left alone by his parents on their country farm, after they returned he was no-where to be found. Several search parties were sent into the surrounding countryside, but to no avail. Soon the investigation was closed, and Sam Giddings became just another lost teenager.

Until now.

Police have recently received several posts Sam had made on an internet forum on the afternoon of his disappearance. Whilst most of what he posted was irrelevant, the last few he made on a thread entitled 'What Scares You?' seemed particularly interesting.

What you are about to read are the last known words of Sam Giddings.

4:05

Quote:

I dunno about you guys, I but I've always found scarecrows really creepy. I dont know why, there is just something about them that gives me the chills. I guess its because of how they look sort of human, but just hang there dead and motionless. I'm currently left alone in my parents farm and they have just bought one for the field. I can see it through the window, and argh, it's already giving me chills. I mean I know its supposed to get rid of the birds and stuff, but I dont know why it has to have such a freaky smile

4:11 Replying to a post made by RingOFire42:

Quote:

Quote:

Yeah hehe, Its still there through the window, I swear its looking at me! Hehe I guess I'm just paranoid, I could have sworn its head was originally facing the drive'

4:19 Replying to a post made by SniPer_FiEnd:

Quote:

Quote:

ITS COMING TO GET YOU!!!!!

Haha, That's it I'm going downstairs! You've officially made me paranoid and I cant stand having it stare at me through the window, I hope you're happy!

4:22

Quote:

Ok maybe I'm just going crazy or something, but I'm sure it was looking at my bedroom window earlier. But now it's looking at me in the living room. I must be losing my mind, this is why I should never be left alone in the house! I scare myself to easily lol

4:30

Quote:

Ok, I went into the kitchen to get a drink. When I came back it had moved, its closer. Seriously, it is now right up near the window. Someone is pranking me, I just know it. I refuse to freak out though, I'm not falling for another one of these pranks again.

It is worth noting 30 minutes passed before his last two posts were made.

4:59

Quote:

I live in Salisbury Englabnd, my adress is 43 Osk filkd drive, postcofde SO32 5ks please, if uyou live near, call the polivre. I need help, I cannot look at hat I am tupsing, I cannot take my eues off it,if I do It will get me, it will get me if I look down, ifd I look anywhere except straight at it please, please, if y ou live near me call the polive.

His last post was short, and from the looks of it rushed, most of it is unreadable.

5:05

Quote:

pjsafaew some rrin so I mn edd heklpa sdfc om eone its in aeht erom its in eht eomm its eenect to me I need help please

People have speculated that ' its in aeht erom' could be read as 'It's in the room' But nobody can be certain.

With this new information, the investigation has briefly been opened up again. Police say they believe someone may have been on the premises, intentionally trying to scare Sam.

Mr and Mrs Giddings say they have no recollection of buying a scarecrow.

Credit to: Kjobbit

Funny/weird things my TF2 alters do/have done

Scout

Begged my friend to let him take a bite out of their fried chicken leg and cried when they said no.

Ate shaving cream on accident.

Flirted with my friend and then screamed at the top of his lungs with horror when he found out she was 15.

Tried to stop a period with... bandaids. Not kidding.

DOESN'T WASH HIS FUCKING HANDS after going piss.

Threw a tantrum at all of my friends because our world doesn't have Bonk!.

Soldier

Fronted just to scream at the wall for like 5 minutes.

My friend (the same one Scout begged for chicken) was working on their school computer. We sit in front of them. Soldier turned around, grabbed the back of their laptop, and slammed it onto the desk so he could see the screen. My friend pulled it back up. Soldier slammed it back down. Repeat like 20 actual times until my friend sighed, pulled up pictures of WWII, and gave the laptop to Soldier so he could look at them.

Tried to purchase an absurd amount of cream cheese online. Became upset because we dont have a credit card. Tried to purchase a credit card online.

Asked my friend if she was a communist and then threw the apple he was eating at her when she said yes. Then he picked that apple up off of the floor and continued to eat it. And then threw it at her a second time. And then ate more of it off the floor.

Played Meep City on Roblox and got really upset when people called him a Trump Supporter. Also told about 50 people on there that he would fight for their "God given rights to be LGBT". (nice)

Sniper

Listened to Lola by The Kinks for about two hours on loop, then turned on Jimmy Hendrix. Got very mad when I turned off Jimmy Hendrix.

Tried to eat tree bark.

Told my cousin he would break into their house and beat the shit out of their mom.

Pointed to my friend and said "that sheila is a crazy bitch." Outloud.

Yelled at all of my friends for calling his accent gay.

Cried over the fact that Pixel (my cat) is small.

Spy

Intentionally started drama between two of my friends and still happily asks me for updates.

Observed all of my friends for about 5 minutes and decided he likes none of them.

Drinks cranberry juice like it's a fine wine.

Refuses to front when we're eating school food because it's "repulsive".

Also cried over Pixel being small.

Demoman

Woke up not knowing where he was, screamed in fear, and then left front immediately after.

Fronted just to call my friend a "wee lil cunt" and then left again.

Medic

Asked my cousin for one of his teeth, became confused as to why he declined.

Befriended a literal walking corpse from my friend's system.

Tries to "kill my friends with his mind". (He just stares at them for like three minutes and then gets disappointed.)

Talked about TF2 with my friend and then laughed when they asked if he and Heavy were "good pals." Informed them that he's dating Heavy. Laughed harder when my friend's mouth dropped in shock.

Heavy

He's never fronted on his own but sometimes he comes into the frontspace while Medic is there to show him a funny picture of a bird.

Engineer

Fronted at work for like two seconds today to steal a piece of bacon and shove it in his mouth. I respect the grind.

Got pissed off at my Theatre Tech teacher for taking 40 minutes to explain how to work a machine he already knew how to work.

Gets so mad when we listen to anything that isn't country music.

Pyro

Burned our hand on accident and then cried for 15 minutes thinking they would get in trouble.

Listens to nothing but things like "Do you Believe in Magic", "Lollipop", "Mr Sandman", etc.

Tried to wear a plague doctor mask to school to cover our face.

Eats sweets for every meal and cannot be trusted to eat meals in front alone.

Fruits Basket Manga Review (ch 90-91)

Since I discussed the first few pages of ch-90 that contains kyo & tohru in my previous preview, this one will only be kyoko’s story.

Kyoko’s story brilliantly explores the effects of unhealthy domestic environment on children without the use of the zodiac curse as a metaphor for abuse. My first-reaction of kyoko’s story is the following:

I really enjoyed how kyoko’s descend into darkness was explored & how the psychologically-informed writing of her behavior was depicted.

I was troubled by how Katsuya was presented as the magical solution to all her problems. Kyoko was saved by romantic love in a more basic writing than machi. Both girls just needed a guy to listen to them vent abt their family issues once & tada~ they’re in love.

Kyoko’s story made me realize that Arisa is just a more modern & healthier kyoko.. The only difference is that Kureno didn’t save Arisa. She herself changed gradually due to kyoko & tohru’s influence.

1) Kyoko’s descend into Darkness:

Kyokyo told kyo that she was already “out of control delinquent before she got to middle school”, “ fell into the wrong crowd”, “ enjoyed beating innocent ppl”. subtly citing the influence of “delinquent peers” & the innate desire be noticed at home. I’m bad, notice me! love me, listen to me!

There are some elements in her story that faintly reminds me of yuki & strongly reminds me of kyo:

Kyoko’s parents gave her a treatment similar to “ yuki’s parents”: cold, neglect & devoid of love. Her dad, similar to kyo’s dad, felt ashamed & disgraced by her.

Kyoko similarly to kyo was angry, full of self-loath & self-destruction. However, kyo was never violent like she was. I believe kyo’d have turned like her if he didn’t have Kazuma to discipline him with love, care & attention. Hence, we saw kyo carry on a code of “ not beating girls, or ppl who aren’t hurting them, or don’t know martial arts”, like Arisa or the student council guy whop loves yuki.

Kyoko’s mom similarly of kyo’s mom talked abt the dad venting his anger on her after being pissed off with kyoko. So, a hint of domestic violence between husband & wife.

Kyoko described herself as “ made of shattered glass”. Tohru once said both kyo & yuki are very sensitive. yuki blocks the world behind the prince mask & kyo puts on the annoyed attitude to push ppl away from hurting him.

Society thinks that “delinquent/bad ppl” are always happy with what they’ve become. Satisfied with their destructive choices. When in most of the times... they’re as bewildered & confused as the community around them..

I really don’t blame the teachers for being defensive. Teachers aren’t supposed to be “life-coaches” or “saviors of students”. That’s sth the educators with their research gush abt & what society demands & what families wish for. The fixer-teacher!!!! Teachers are ppl teaching a subject, doing a specific job, underpaid & overworked most of the times, also, they come from various backgrounds, beliefs, & sometimes even if they meant good & wanted to “ save” a student, they aren’t equipped with the suitable psychological training. Yeah, there are ppl for that in schools, but so many students with lots of issues. Also, let’s be real, we love kyoko cuz she’s the “epic mother of tohru, we grew on her teachings thro out 3 seasons” but if you meet a loud, delinquent, gangster head, violent chair throwing student who rarely comes anyway, would you wanna deal with them?

2- Katsuya “ the magical savior”:

so, why did teacher katsuya helped a screaming delinquent? cuz he IS interested in kyoko. He said so. He approached her, talked & tried to help cuz he intended to “never let her go since he saw her honesty” ~ romantic? maybe to some.. I find it weird & creepy. him eyeing her & getting interested & approaching her & earning her trust. It is true that he has no intention of hurting her or forcing her & he DID save her in more ways than one. But why is this all wrapped in romance. He DID flirt with her intentionally many times from the moment he saw her until then.

If Im being honest, had he not be her teacher (trainee or not), & had she not be very veeeeery young! I’d be enjoying his flirting so much. He’s so smooth, playful & cool (not looking head over heels in love) which is normally such a fun dynamics. She was so head over heels, tho. Finally found someone who noticed her tiny efforts “ drawing eyebrows”, someone who listened & someone who didn’t forced her to do her “duties”. She tells him (her teacher) that she is ditching classes & he’s okay with that~ not lecturing, not urging. why? cuz He only wants HER. she comes to see him in the lunch break everyday. school? classes? that’s her choice~ not his business~ In a way, Katsuya is intentionally made not morally correct. Why? cuz a good moral adult wouldn’t be in love with a middle schooler & would care for her future as an independent person from him. He must be written with intentional desire to NOT care for morals or right or the likes. Yes, he later helps her to study & graduate but ONLY when that is HER choice & she made it ONLY to catch up with him. To cleanse herself & be “ like the other girls” . Kyoko deemed katsuya “ good person” &  herself “ bad person”. That’s why she was motivated to be good to catch up with him since she can NO LONGER see him everyday in lunch break. He fixed that. How? teach her in the weekends & provide better chances to flirt since he’s no longer a teacher & she’s his student. The issue is not teacher-student love... it is adult-kid love!! but hey~ they’re cute (they’re written to be, so they are) so it’s cool ( it isn’t at all..eww).. oh the dilemma that is Takaya-san’s love for weird big age gaps where one is an underage teenager...

Furuba’s has this big theme of “ love doesn’t heal or save”. yuki took tohru’s love & grew up by himself. Kyo’s love for tohru didn’t save tohru, she was scared to be in love & forget her mom. Tohru made the decision to be free from her past, herself.  Tohru’s love to kyo made his trauma 10 times more complicated & he acted based on his love for her & decided to leave her. It wasnt until he decided to face his trauma, past & bio dad by himself, that he accepted tohru’s love. Only two characters were totally saved by love:

Machi: has the excuse of being solely created to be yuki’s reward for acknowledging platonic love for tohru & everything abt her is rushed & made as a lighter copy of all yuki’s issues to quickly create shared grounds for them to connect. Machi needed to vent her issues to yuki once & all her issues were never brought back to the service again. She was happier, calmer & healed.

I expected more for kyoko. She IS a bigger character than half of the zodiacs! but she just needed katsuya to listen to her & she was in love & her issues solved.

I don’t deny that it IS true that sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us. Tohru herself said so & even yuki said it to kyo. But Even if someone listen to us & we love them, the issues that troubled us dont magically disappear until we face them or do sth abt them aided by those who love us. Kyo’s issues remained even with his love until he faced them, tohru’s too!

Katsuya:

had off-screen issues with expressing himself. He said that he loved kyoko cuz she was “honest abt her ugly feelings” while he pretended to “humor & please his dad”. He gave a wonderful speech to her parents abt the expectations of parents on their kids & the refusal of their “human weakness” again furuba’s main vision. Unfortunately, this was followed with confessing, marriage proposal & kissing her on the lips all while the whole issue is abt kids/ parents exceptions of middle schooler/ neglect & his own acknowledgement that she’s minor while he was “in love”.

Like the author wants to tie kyoko’s issues & katsuya’s issues so bad & present him as her ONLY chance for normal life. Kyoko was just repenting & understanding that her actions got consequences which is an epic moment! but romance triumphant & saved the day~ yay~! marriage!

The story would’ve been better romantically if it was given time for kyoko to “ grow up” just like katsuya himself said when they were at the beach. He said “ grow up, middle school is not the world”. He continued meeting her but never confessed & never crossed the line despite the flirting. But he KNEW what he was doing “ i never planned to let you go since I saw you”. He was cementing his place as the ONLY one in her world.

Had kyoko grew up, saw the real world, kept taps with katsuya, he helped her broaden her world, then they’ll marry without needing her dad to sign papers, then that would be a better love story than this.

Side Notes:

The writer didn’t shy away from confessing that pairing Katsuya & kyoko is problematic & stated it in canon (kyoko called katsuya “pedo”). She did the same with Arisa & kureno (Arisa thought the age gap is big & hana questioned if kureno is a married man). However, making the story acknowledge that as an issues doesn’t make it less uncomfortable, but at least, I respect when writers do what they plan to do regardless of fans. even if I dont agree with the writer. It’s way better than when writer becoming fans toy/ fans pleaser.

Still, couldn’t the author state that kyoko was held back few years in jmiddle school & failed & repeated school years? like make her i duno 17 or sth... this would at least lessen the big age gap... but no~~~ kyoko is what? 14? ... -_-’.

You bet this won’t change a bit in the upcoming anime spinoff abt kyoko. Just this year an anime abt an adult man & his high school love interest that he pursued stubbornly was highly popular & my real life friends were gushing abt “ him finally winning her/ being respectful & only kissing her lips once or sth/waiting for her to “catch up” with him”/ consent age differ in X & Y countries..I’m not dictating my beliefs on anybody or any country or saying my way of thinking is the just way. I’m saying, Personally, I think, there are better romantic stories than adults & kids couples.. The fact that this trope of (adults & kids romance) is still popular even today is sad~~

I dont mind HUGE age gaps as long as BOTH characters are adults. If any of them makes a crime, they’ll be held responsible by the law. & sometimes the younger adult is the one dominating the relationship. but “kids or teenagers” can’t. They’re easily groomed & manipulated, so it bothers me when a love story between an adult & a kid is portrayed as  “equal”. it isn’t.

I’m not judging whoever loves such trope in “ fiction”. it IS fiction, & as long as you don't pursue a real kid/teenager in real life, you can like whatever in fiction. moving on~

kyoko’s delinquent life is well-written & if done right, would send a powerful message of being able to start over. But the romantic love aspect will steal the spotlight by (a) directing uncomfortable hate/disgust towards the story & hence all the discussions will abt the “pedo” aspect. (which is fair). (b) Perceived as so lovable romance since katsuya is the prince who to saved the neglected princess which is a trope that has stood thro time garnering lots of support & attention always, so all the discussion would be abt their “cute romance”. (which is fair since the author weaved elements that endeared their romance, such as: cute nicknames “miss no-eyebrows”, him giving her space, home & respect, saving her from the streets & poverty & having the most endearing tohru”. So, yeah, the romance will be the center of attention regardless.

I like katsuya’s character type in fiction generally: the flirty, mischievous & a bit cool guy who is so aware he’s wrong most times & plays his cards smart to not get caught red-handed. He’s a cooler version of shigure. It’s just the blatant fact that he’s been planning to “get” a middle schooler from the first glance & that she is wayyyy young for this, that is bothering me so so much~~ T_T.

I wont expect the anime to change their age gap cuz it is the essence of their story that she’s a lost kid with no protection against the world & he’s the savior providing everything at once!~ Remember kyoko went on to be the savior of an entire clan tho tohru~ So in a way, katsuya saved the sohmas by saving kyoko....

“ i’m like a stray cat that he looked after instead of chasing away”. kyoko with katsuya is like kyo with kazuma! >_<!. When kyo met tohru, he wasn’t a stray cat, most of how he dealt with her was cuz he already knew her & was tormented by remembering kyoko’s death & feeling guilty towards tohru’s constant pain. That’s why when kyo started falling in love with tohru, he unconsciously stopped pushing her away little by little & just wanted to be with her until akito said “ i’ll hurt her” that’s when he totally gave up.

the way katsiya appeared in the right moment to save kyoko from her dad~ oh the drama. XD

Hospital Discharge & chase. like mom like daughter~ but thank God the kids got a more balanced love story.

Comparing kyoko/katsuya to Arisa/kureno in the broad writing of their romance without diving into details: (a) I hate the age gap in both but at least Arisa is older & nothing happened until she graduates & become an official adult. (b) Kyoko/katsuya are more fleshed out & if you forget the age gap,m their dynamic is so cute & endearing. (c) the love at first glance, never meeting afterwards yet still sickly in love to the extinct of screaming made Arisa/kureno shallower. (d) now that I saw teenage kyoko, Arisa is really just her clone! I hate that this steals from Arisa’s uniqueness. (e) both couples ate ramen in their first meeting/first unofficial date signalling their blooming love.

I’ve said this more than once, but I was the high-schooler that fancied adult independent men growing up, I never pursued anyone tho cuz I understood it was a crush even tho I’m pretty sure my “ *_*” face was clear to one or two, but I’m definitely lucky none of them tried to woo me or influence me. Now that I’m a grown woman, I think back & laugh at my self. I fancied them cuz they were independent & mature compared to the silly high school boys, which is what those men are supposed to be (adults) & what those boys are supposed to be (living their young age). lol. Still, I wish I found someone somehow to be my life’s partner since then, it would’ve made my life less lonely~ T_T.

Does Run ep 119 fall into the period of Jikook's romantic separation/distancing you talked about? By hairstyles I think this is the time you marked as being 'not a couple'? Did I get the timelines right? Please dont get mad, but they seemed especially cozy+close this ep, and not just skinship (I know this is a subjective judgement and dif points of view are allowed). Just curious if you still hold to your theory? We see only tiny snapshots of time. Do you ever retrospectively change your mind?

Me right now. lol

Running away before I give in to the temptation to rumble on for pages. Lol.

Ahhh shit! Too late. lol.

First of all, it's not so much that questions like these irk me...

It's just I've never had to worry about being 'right' or 'wrong' in forming an opinion about anything or on any topic in my life.

I think the night is more beautiful than the day. I think both Trump and Biden are trash- but better Biden than Trump. I think formal education is a damn waste of time and money. I think a lot of things. But I've never had to worry about that I could be right or wrong about them.

I never assume, when I read people's opinions too, that they are right or wrong. I either tend to agree with it or disagree with it or get informed by it if I had zero opinion prior. I find it bizarre when people want to be right and stuff- especially in a community that is nothing but a swirling vortex of thoughts and opinions. Lmho.

You either defend your stand and give evidence to support it but even then we are just all making assumptions.

Also questions like these tend to put me in a position where I feel like if I should respond then I am not only 'defending' my opinions but challenging other's opinions with my opinions and treating my opinions as if they were the facts. But they are not. It's just one opinion against another.

Know what I mean?

I used to be comfortable doing that because I thought it was all friendly debates and discourse until someone drew my attention to it and pointed out to me that when I do that I come across as 'all knowy,' 'presenting my opinions as facts' and 'challenging other's opinions with my opinion'- which y'all are well aware is the case that has launched a thousand hate comments, privacy invasion, doxing, lies and operation boycott Goldy on ship street.

I don't think it's worth it.

Then there is the substantive issue: how these questions are framed. How should I put this...

I never said anywhere that Jikook were broken up during the On era because they were not acting 'cozy'. Who's theory is that? Who said that? I've never peddled the 'Jikook is real because of skinship or their interactions' theory. If anything, I try to distinguish between Jikook's couple moments and their skinship or mere interactions because neither of those two make Jikook real... to me.

If Jikook showing skinship and merely interacting with eachother to you is a determining factor as to whether they are real- it's not, to me. I've made this much clear over the course of my blogs. If it's your metric then it differs from mine and I can't 'challenge' it. Lol.

I have said, Jikook can interact zero in a content and I still could be able to tell if they are a couple.

Similarly, two people can grind on eachother and stick their tongues down eachother's throats and I still will be able to tell they are not a couple within the same group if they are not.

Am I wrong sometimes? Absolutely. Hell, I said JK was going to post for Jimin's birthday. He didn't. I got that wrong.

I do retrospectively change my mind on a lot of things. If say, in the future, Jimin announced he has a kid and is married to a het woman I would backpedal on my theory that Jikook is real. I don't think it's that deep.

If at any one point, I have reason to believe Jikook aren't together any more as a couple within BTS, or that one of them is straight, I would change my opinion about them being in a gay relationship with eachother.

Similarly, if I have reason to believe Jikook have broken up or distanced themselves from eachother at one point, I would say so and not run around the internet yelling Jikook gay, Jikook married.

There are moments, when I thought Jikook were together but they weren't and so I had to change my mind in retrospect too.

It seems to me, that to y'all, as long as I'm saying Jikook are together then I'm right and it's Amen preach but if I say I think they are or were not together at a point in their relationship then suddenly it's, she is a Trump supporter spreading lies about Jikook and dancing in the rain with convicted serial killers while trying to pass off her published work as Jikook fanfiction. It's all very interesting how some people's minds work...

For the record, I said Jikook were broken up within that period because they were not claiming eachother, reassuring eachother, exercising rights of claim and authority, speaking eachothers love language and all the other metrics I have time and again pointed out several times across my posts that they are the qualities that to me make Jikook a couple.

So do you see why I feel some kind of way when people come at me with the, 'they stared at eachother' 'they smiled at eachther' they touched eachother' argument? Y'all must have me confused a certain shipper on the block. Lol.

You tell me they look cozy and intimate, but then I go and check and they are still not claiming eachother or exhibiting any of the qualities that makes them a couple. Lol.

If I say Jikook is in a relationship, it's usually because I have reasons to believe they are in a relationship. If I say Jikook are not together, it's also because I have reasons to believe they are not together. It's really not hard maths.

I forego a lot of sleep to ensure I share my thought process on a lot of my theories and opinions. I have shared across several posts why I believe Jikook is real. I have shared a few of the metrics I use to decide on that opinion and I have shared my thought process on why I believe in certain moments they aren't together.

It's exhausting when I have to repeat that process each time because then it's not about you asking for my opinion on the topic anymore because I've already stated that, it's about you asking me to change my opinion on a topic based on your assessment and your metric and it just doesn't work that way.

Your assertion that Run 119 was filmed in the same era as On is valid I guess... but I have to disagree. I can't tell you exactly when that episode was filmed but if I had to share my two cents on it, I'd have to place it towards the middle of April this year or somewhere around that period. In my opinion.

I say that because Jimin debuted his jet black hair around 14th April when he appeared in a Vlive with RM. Again I do not know exactly when he got his hair changed but as of March 26th, he had blondish hair.

In his March 30th Vlive- the one where JK interrupted Jin's call, he had a cap on so chilee I'm not gonna argue on whether he had dyed his hair at that point or not.

Then there is Suga, who has blonde hair in this Run 119 episode. He had blonde hair from his birthday in early March and tweeted a bunch of photos of himself in blonde hair from March through to April 28th.

Yet in the JinMinGi Vlive on April 27th when Jimin still had jet black hair, Suga seemed to have a jet black hair too. Which means he could have had blonde hair around the time Jimin went black in early April and dyed it black in late April- but that's theory and that's just my assumption. We can know for sure if and when knew content is released which was filmed around that period.

Thus, I doubt if it was filmed during On era like episode 116 and 117- where you could see clearly, Jikook were having issues.

Just because a peice of content is released in succession don't mean they were filmed around the same period...

So yes I agree with you, we only see snapshots of their time and most importantly we see them in DISORDER. BigHit doesn't release content in chronological order as per when they film them- something I keep reiterating throughout my blogs.

And just as a tip for when you want to reconstruct the timeline for accuracy based on their hairstyles, I think you should look to their Live contents and not their prerecorded content. Their VLives and Youtube lives- actual lives not the prerecorded ones passed off as live streams lol, or even their live reactions to when they win awards or do interviews etc.

I think those are a somewhat accurate reflection of the timeline and helps fit contents in their right time period. But even that- it's still 60/40. But that's me. Feel free to use your own metric to access the timeline.

And the part about them seeming cozy within- On Era, I assume? Because that's when I speculated they had a break up?

I wasn't going to address it because it requires me to provide a comprehensive reconstruction of the timeline but I can't do that until a few more years from now when BigHit has released all or most of the content they have on that period.

I'm just gonna have to repeat myself, for the n>th time though and be intentionally vague about it lol - I had decided not to talk about that period again but I have to just because you make it sound like I would go full on frying pan wielding JK on your ass, step for step, for pointing out that Jikook seemed cozy and intimate within that speculated breakup period. Chilee, I'm not a villain. Lol.

I will not whoop your ass for saying that- but you'd have to answer a seven page query if you are an avid reader of my blogs, so clear your schedule. It's gonna be a long day. Lol.

Query: How do you expect Jikook to look like and behave if and when they are not together together?

I keep saying, at the bare minimum, Jikook are friends not enemies. You don't expect them to act like they never knew eachother during such times. But it takes a while for them to settle into that space when they both feel comfortable with being friends and during such period is when you notice them putting up emotional boundaries and distance between them.

Maybe its just because I saw Jikook as friends and got used to them as friends before lovers and so spotting when they are acting as friends comes easy to me? I don't know.

I think it's similar to how people who are used to seeing Jikook as friends can't seem to see past their friendship to seeing them as a couple.

Then there are those who've only known Jikook to be a couple or saw them as a couple first upon entering the fandom and so can't seem to see them as friends or even think of them as friends. It can be a trip for such people. Which one are you?

If you see Jikook as lovers all the time, really I don't. And I don't need the tensions and the silences to sense something is off. JK unable to check RM or anyone within the group when they are crossing boundaries with Jimin is enough tell.

Same way I don't need to the skinship and 'cosy' to tell if they are together. Jk putting up emotional distance with certain members within the group- all but Jimin, is enough evidence for me.

We don't have to all see Jikook through the same lens to enjoy them. And we don't have to agree on everything too.

We are different people, with different backgrounds and experiences. We can't think the same or perceive on things the same.

I keep saying, to me, there is a quality to Jikook that makes them more than friends. If I see those qualities in them, I believe they are a couple. If not, they are not. Those are the qualities I see only between Jikook and what set them apart from the other ships in BTS.

I see their friendship and I also see their other stuff.

And I notice, during certain periods that they lose that quality that makes them couples- for them to be a couple they need to be speaking eachothers love language, exercising certain rights and privileges over each other, claiming eachother, reassuring eachother yadda yadda yadda and a whole others that don't include them merely talking to eachother or engaging in skinship.

When I talk about Jikook On Era break up period, I'm talking about the period from the 21st to 28th February this year- or the period right before it.

Thats the period I noticed a drastic change in Jikook's interactions and even their personalities. It gave me the feeling that jikook had been through something heavy prior to that date. That period seemed more like the aftermath of a break up rather than the beginning of it as there seemed to be a drastic flip in their dynamics compared to any era before that. Especially late December or around the period when they filmed Carpool Karaoke.

They weren't doing any of the things I've mentioned above that to me make them a couple- they were just interacting and pretty much being civil- except for JK. He seemed more angry, less tolerant and very assertive against Jimin and the group.

He was being super self assertive and was asserting himself even against Jimin- something he has been doing a lot this year which I keep talking about.

Jimin didn't seem different to me at all to me in that period until April.

Why do I feel you are forcing me to talk about something I don't want to talk about? Lol.

I mark that period as significant not only because of the changes that took place in Jikook's dynamics but because it marks the genesis of the JK we are experiencing today.

Their interactions within that period were reflective of a consistent pattern of behavior they've exhibited around periods when they are not together- JK putting up boundaries, not claiming JM, JM trying to reconnect etc.

For instance, at Music Bank on the 28th of February, Jimin did that thing with Jin when he noticed JK interacting with Tae but JK didn't mind him or claim.

Contrast that with their moment on the 1st March, at Inkigayo, where JK literally teleported his ass to stand behind JM when he noticed JM had started his shenanigans on the stage.

Jikook started claiming eachother and acting as a couple again from then- they started reassuring eachother and doing all these things that to me mark them as a couple. Again, this is only an assumption, I don't have the comprehensive breakdown of the period- yet because there are new contents being released on a daily.

On 6th March, during Music Bank when Hobi hugged Jimin during their interview JK reacted strongly to that too in my opinion.

On 30th March, JK interrupted Jin's call to flirt and ask JM on a date- you could see them acting as a couple from that moment at Inkigayo on 1st March throughout to 30th March and their interactions were consistent.

Their interactions in the period before that was pretty much inconsistent and filled with a lot of Jump cuts- which I'm hoping future contents will help fill the gaps for me so I can build a comprehensive breakdown of that era- at least for my self. Iol.

It's just the way Jikook usually behave after these period. They go through a reconnection phase, where they constantly try reassure eachother and then eventually end up in a honey moon phase of a sort where you'd see them flirting up and down the hills, acting super touchy, hitting the red marks- making us and the others feel weird and super uncomfortable watching them.

It's also important to note that around the period of them reconnecting, JK had started distancing himself from Tae. He puts up emotional boundaries with the others and closes himself off to them when he opens himself up to Jimin.

I mean if I'm 'wrong,' and I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying if I'm wrong because of your two seconds clip of them acting 'cozy,' then I gotta ask what happened to JK in this period? Why was he putting up boundaries between him and Jimin in that period, and what set him on this self assertive path he's been on throughout this year- think about that while I hold on to my he went through a nasty breakup and had an emotional trauma that pushed him on a path to reevaluate and set his priorities straight theory. Lol

I think some of the content they have released so far within that period were filmed either closer to or far from when that break up happened- Run 116 and 117 would be the closest to that period so far- I just don't know if it was before 21st February or after it.

Run 100 and 101 would also have been filmed relatively closer to that period or immediately after it because Jimin was behaving in those Runs the same way he was behaving during the On Comeback Special VLive which was released on 21st of February- I feel the breakup would happened before this date.

In both those Runs and the On comeback special, Jimin seemed beat, humbled and subdued. He was trying to establish eye contact with JK during the comeback VLive, egging him on to talk about his looks, and putting boundaries between him and the other members. He seemed to be on his best behavior.

For instance, in the Comback he seemed like he was walking on eggshells around Kookie and didn't want to create the impression he was going out of his way to flirt with the others or portray himself as available and so when Suga touched his waist or back, he asked him to stop.

Similary, in Runs 100/101 behind scenes or something, when they were eating and he noticed Tae had food residue on his lips, he tried to help him clean it but panicked and stopped the moment he sensedJK lifting his head up- it seemed he didn't want to piss JK off in those two instances. JK for the most part just seemed serious and less tolerant of JM's bs within that period.

Juxtapose JM's behavior in these two instances with the events at Music Bank and Inkigayo where he was hugging Jin and acting extra around Kook- which to me seemed like he was looking for reassurance by trying to get JK to claim him but of course JK didn't do that.

Jimin likes being reassured by JK when he is feeling 'insecure.' And often, JK reassures him when he notices JM going through that. Jimin does the same for JK.

They are intune with eachother's emotional needs and they consciously go out of their way to meet them.

Take the recent MAMA speech moment when JM was giving a speech and he seemed like he need support- emotional support and back up. Jk turn fully and instantly towards him to let him know he was there for him. We've seen Jikook do this a countless times. I value these moments over them showing skinship or screaming eachother's names.

In the recent BE press conference red carpet moment when JM tried it with RM- did you notice JK's reaction? They both seemed like they were trying to piss eachother other off or make each eachother jealous during that red carpet moment.

JM with RM and JK with Jin. JK grabbed Jin's neck when he noticed JM intentionally acting all up close and friendly with his buddy buddy RM and the frown on his face. He didn't seem too amused with JM doing that...

- it's weird, I know, but it's also their way of reassuring eachother and expressing interest in eachother. Don't judge. It's Jikook- just look away, keep it pushing. Nothing to see here. Lol.

Had it not been for the live events around that On period, I probably wouldn't have noticed these things because the content from BigHit around the period were only showing glimpses of their interactions which again seemed like the aftermath of their breakup and not the start of it.

I think their ability to get to that space where they are each comfortable with relating freely and 'cozy' around eachother as friends depends on how soon they interact on cameras after they've gone through such periods.

If they film immediately soon after, or during, often the tension between them is much more evident like in run 116 and 117.

If they film much later from it, then you wouldn't even notice a damn thing at all. In my opinion. Especially, if you don't know the difference between Jikook as friends and Jikook as lovers.

You can never tell though if you focus solely on Jimin's behavior during such periods- because Jimin is just that guy. He doesn't bring the drama to work. He will smile sunshine through the pain and act like nothing happened. For JK it's different, in my opinion.

Jimin has a very high emotional intelligence quotient and seems to process emotions better and faster. JK is not like that. It is why I feel, he tends to put up physical and emotional barriers with Jimin and with the others sometimes when he is going through it.

They all process emotions at different paces. In my opinion.

I'm starting to wonder if y'all think Jikook is one sided at this point. Lol. Jikook is not one sided. Jimin is not the only one in their relationship. You can't focus on him alone to decide if your ship is sailing or in a good place- because guess what? Jimin can put up a show of it.

It's just as how Tuktukkers tend to focus on Tae rather than JK in determining whether they still have a ship or not. If they paid attention to JK for one minute, they would know their ship got lost at sea at debut.

I keep saying JM's 'the boy in love with Jungkook' persona is a facade. He loves JK through this facade but you have to look past it. I mean this is the guy who told Jin JK doesn't act a certain way around him, but backpedaled and said he was just 'saying it for content' when Jin called him out on it. Same guy Jk says, he intentionally acts cutes when he notices the cameras on him.

You gotta wonder what else he does just for content and for the cameras. Isn't this why people claim Jikook is fanservice?

You have to pay attention to JK too you know? They have different personalities, different ways of handling issues, different ways of loving and different ways of solving problems.

Jimin over expresses himself and tries to establish contact when he is at the recieving end of a freeze out. He did the same thing on stage with JK during Manila when he tried to have a conversation with Kook- to squash whatever issues they had been having but JK needed his space physically and emotionally.

Jimin was sat next to Suga chatting with him, asking him questions, laughing with him but the moment Suga touched him he snapped. He did the same thing in Dynamite MV reaction VLive when JK teased him with Suga. He snapped almost instantly and didn't seem happy with it- he doesn't want to be shipped with Suga and yet he is the one constantly going 'I miss Suga hyung' 'Suga and I are the parents and JK is the son"

In run 116, you could see him trying to interact with Kook even when Kook was clearly putting up boundaries with him. Had Kook not been closed off to him in that moment, we probably would never have noticed anything was off with them honestly.

And that hug JM gave Kook in the end, did you see him looking sideways as if he was doing something wrong? Compare that moment with the Siriux FM interview where he had his hands around Kook. He didn't seem- what's the word, scared.

And by the way, that moment was also filmed on the 21st of February in the US, the same day of their Rockefeller interview and the same day the On Comeback Special VLive was released- so do the maths? Was that the start of a break up or the aftermath of it?

Jimin was leaning forward in that period true, but was JK receiving and reciprocating his actions and matching them throughout that period? No. Or may be its debatable- you tell me. Lol.

Jikook behave in a certain way and give off a certain vibe when they are good and sailing- but not all such moments is because they are a couple. In my opinion.

When they get to that good space where they can be comfortable around each other, they sail as friends too.

It's just like, when they are not good and they give off bad vibes. But not all the bad vibes they give off is because they are not good. Know what I mean?

It's all up to how you perceive them and how much you understand of their dynamics I guess.

It is my understanding that, JK opens up to certain other members within the group while simultaneously putting up boundaries with Jimin when he is having serious problems with Jimin. From my observation of their interactions.

So I ask, within the period of 21st February to 28th, was he leaning towards this certain member he was suddenly BFFs with around the time of their break up or was he leaning away from him? He literally teleported away from him to be next to Jimin when they were getting back together and Tae didn't seem amused by that either.

It's Jikook, I get it. I think you need to pay attention to the way they interact with the other members within the group too? Because that's equally telling. Sigh.

It is my understanding that, Jimin is quick to anger yet quick to forgive and he sometimes glosses over things, puts a lot of energy and efforts into embellishing his relationship with Kook and presenting them as the perfect duo and the perfect relationship- which is something that I think psychologically induces the Kumbaya in a lot of Jikook shippers and influences them into thinking their relationship is perfect and kumbaya. But that's another topic for another day.

JK makes Jikook more real. To me.

I hear often, people talk about how Jimin is less touchy than JK and has personal boundaries within the group and how over the years, he has toned down on his touchiness with the other members because JK puts up a lot of boundaries for him around the members with the frying pans and what not, and would fume whenever Jimin or anyone crosses those boundaries...

But have y'all ever wondered the kind of boundaries Jimin put up for JK within the group and expects JK to uphold within the group when they are together? Hint: It's not JK's touchiness or lack of boundaries. Y'all be connecting the wrong dots. Lol.

Jk puts up physical boundaries for Jimin because that is important to him. Jimin put up emotional boundaries for JK because that is important to him. They overlap sometimes but those times are insignificant to me.

Jk's certain bonds suffer because of Jimin. And he stops respecting those boundaries when he and Jimin are no longer together and the moment they are back together, he puts those boundaries up again with those bonds- this is Morse code, if you catch on message me with it. Wink.

JM throwing his arms around Kook during a serious interview is not him claiming JK or reassuring him. JK yelling Jimin to the power Z is not him exercising right of authority over Jimin- lovers do that. Know who else does that? FRIENDS. Lol.

It's nothing Hobi doesn't do with JM or the other ships don't do.

Listen, I saw all the good bits and things that you saw in that period too and still I formed my opinion on that era the way that I did and have. And the new content from that era, Run 116 and 117 all follow the same pattern of behavior I noticed around that period and have talked about. So no, my view on that era hasn't changed.

Unless, your objective is to have me change my mind based on the 'wrong' timeline dots you've connected, then we would just have to agree to disagree. Lol.

If you believe Jikook were together during that period, I agree to disagree on it. Feel free to disagree with my opinion too.

Always ship Jikook in the way that makes sense to you. And support them while you are at it. Jikook is real. Bless you.

Signed,

GOLDY

Tbf the heroes don't know what happened to Tenko. They look at Shiggy and see a guy who attacked USJ and tried to kill the Symbol of Peace, who organised attack on a summer training camp and kidnapped a kid, who leveled down a whole city and who now is leveling another one. They don't see a victim bc they don't know he is one. But they do see the damage he does and act accordingly.

Yeah but thats not all they see. Especially this arc. Heroes arent stupid. They have enough information to see Shigaraki as victim.

1- They know that there is no sign about Shigaraki in records which means hever never go to school like normal kids, he didnt get quirk counseling, but most importantly it means that society never support Shigaraki Tomura, if they were, they would know.

2- They know Shigaraki is mentally child and they also know that he just NEW started to grow, they immediately realized there might be some adult behind the kid. Someone who groomed him.

3- Then, later they found All For One. The person who is behind of the kid. Afo is a man who is famous with manipulating people. When they heard about this, again, they could understand. Afo made it clear that he wants Shigaraki to be successor and again another proof that Shigaraki was groomed.

4- Shimura Tenko. Allmight and Gran Torino literally know what kind of person Afo is. They even knew that Afo targeted the kid, they must’ve been understand there is something wrong with this sitution, like Shigaraki didnt become this way because he is evil but they kept it as secret. They said they will research but there is no voice since then.

5- Kurogiri. They literally saw that how Shirakumo, hero student became a dangerous villain. Not only they saw how good person can become a villain but also they saw Shirakumo is still in there. That there is a hope.

6- Noumus. Heroes knew that noumus are people who are victim of science. Shigaraki was in one of that tupes, he was being used and treated as tool but instead of thinking he might be victim, they dehumanized him more and more.

etc etc etc.

Its not that they dont understand Shigaraki is victim but easier to believe that he is not cause saving him would be hard.

Now, you might say that somes knows nothing about those informations, they dont know everything.

For the ones who knows something, they are the ones who could’ve change things but they chose not to. Like Gran Torino who knows Afo and Shimura history or Aizawa who literally ignored the evidence that Shigaraki is might be just like Eri, just like Kurogiri.

Well, for people who know none of them, i wouldnt fully blame them but problem is more like the way system is. The heroes who knows something about it, literally covered it up and didnt even warn people about it. The posibility that Shigaraki is a victim.

Because they dont actually interested in changing things or rehabilition of villains. The system is normalizied the violence towards villains that most heroes ignore the fact that villains are humans too.

You might say what else they could do? Well, many things actually cause heroes are the ones who have the power in society. They are the ones who control of the sitution.

They could talk about this subject, instead of covering up. They could research about it more. They could at least listen and trying to understand this sitution.

You might say They have no time to talk.

But funny, they have time to blame him for existing.

And yeah, i guess, burning someone alive or trying to kill him is easier than talking...

You might say But Shigaraki needs to be stop so they have no choice to do this.

Yeah, Shigaraki needs to be stopped, of course, they cant let people die. But they have no choice? This is not true.

In story, many times it shown that heroes know how to be amazing when they wanted to. They can make a lot of miracles in most impossible situtions and at least, they always try. Why? Cause they think its worth it. And in those times, they will try their best.

It’s not that they cant save Shigaraki. Its that they cant bother with it. They think its not wothy to save someone like that. They will literally ignore every evidence in front of them. Even though, Shigaraki literally showed his suffering in front of them.

You might say why they would care about murderer’s suffering but again, its about the system they are in. The way villains are treated. Just because someone is criminal or villain, it doesnt mean they deserve to die or being treated as less human being. They ignore Shigaraki cause thats how villains are treated in society and they dont plan to change it cause they are so blinded by system.

And again, they wont try to save Shigaraki cause he doesnt cry like Eri or openly asking for help. They think good people will always stay good and they will hold their feelings forever but this is impossible cause everyone has breaking point and despite heroes knows in deep that they will still ignore it.

And you might say Shigaraki and other villains didnt have to kill people etc etc but Like Shigaraki and story explained it many times;

the people in league, they were good people and they tried, they endured, until enduring pain is not being a option, since society doesnt listen, destruction is literally the only way of victims can express their pain.

So; Villains can only express theirselves with destruction cause noone will listen to them. Heroes can do something but they wont cause they dont understand the suffering of victims in society.

Now, dont get me wrong. I love heroes cause i love the idea of saving someone but in bnha, heroes are really not heroes. All hero side is have is idea of hero, ieda of justice, they are in love with idea of heroes so much, they will ignore the victims who needs to be saved.

I dont necessarely think that they are bad or good people. When i analyzie someone, i only focus that person, not all at once. Not every heroes are same kind of person. I am sure that some of them are really good intentionally people, just like Deku but some heroes are really at fault and they intentionally ignoring things and make it worse.

The problem with hero side is not that they are evil but they are in pretty messed up system and they dont even try to change it cause they dont understand how much messed up it is. Some truly dont understand, some ignores, some use this for their selfish desires, with every way, its hard to root for them when they are supporting this messed up system while ignoring victims They dont even try to understand which is so frustrating, especialy as we readers know flaws but heroes ignores and they dont even make any effort :///.

And again, i love justice, heroes etc etc but i have no intention of ignoring what they are doing right now. Cause villains at least admit but heroes always justify it and call it as justice and thats so messed up.

Lets say; I truly believe that Deku is kind, good person (he is my favorite character with Shigaraki) but i also think that what Deku doing to Shigaraki right now is wrong cause its not that Deku cant understand or do something else. He can but he doesnt see Shigaraki as worth it cause he is villain and in hero society villains are meant be destroyed by heroes. But i want Deku to face and understand this why its wrong, one day.

The reason i mostly rooting for league, despite loving idea of heroes is because league, villains are pitifull. They are live in pretty unhealthy environment, they live with heavy mental illness, they are treated as monsters and i dont see what else they could do but hero side, they are at least live in healthy environment, they have lifes, happy moments and they can do something but they chose not to. And at least, the things league, villains did are changing things, challeging the system but heroes dont do anything. I also believe that we are meant to root for Shigaraki’s group too, especially this arc.

(Hope you understand me, i dont really hate heroes and i have different opinion for every characters, i dont just divide them as villains and heroes but right now, its exteremely hard to root for them, well, i hope they can get good character developments already.)

RWBY V8E2 LiveThoughts

And now, for episode 2; same deal as last time, spoilers for this weeks episode. 

RT getting a wee bit too real with the “curfew in effect” sign on the side of that building in the opening. Least here its a visible noticeable threat and not Corona. Still.

Oh, heh. “Hope has no place here.” Always did love that line. But that might just be the grimdark fan in me.

Overall Im not a huge fan of this seasons opening, it doesnt sound as melodic as the last couple ones. More...chaotic. I think thats intentionally but Im still not a fan.

Dude, Qrow, thats unsanitary. Seriously, clean that shit off. You’re gonna get like, tetnus or something.

And Robyn complaining to Qrow. I mean shes not WRONG but at the same time SHE was the one who decided to pass out during the crash. Dont go throwing blame around Hill, you were just as useless and dumb as everyone but Tyrian in that whole section of last season.

Correction, shes talking to Jasque Scnee who is SOMEHOW in the same prison as they are. Additional; hardlight cells with no visible emitters, no toilet or other commodities. This must be a holding cell of some kind. Unless the bed they all have is ALSO a toilet. Ew.

Yeah you sure about that Schnee? Indirect murder is still murder.

Whh...WATTS IS IN HERE TOO?! WHAT THE FUCK IRONWOOD. You dont have a maximum security like, ICEBOX lock up? Dude this is just ASKING for trouble.

Watt’s black eye is still there. Maybe there is something to him not having his aura fully unlocked. Or...something else. Im really confused about that.

Odd cell structure. Impromptu? Or is this whole room just modular. Cause its WAY too big to house just this many prisoners. Im getting the feeling this is impromtu, yeah.

Schnee thinks hes getting out, sucker. 

Mad props to the Atlas soldier for the brutality. NOW HIT HIM AGAIN.  Robyns smirk gives me life.

And Qrow suggests Operation Valkyrie. Im down. Ironwoods proven useless at this point, maybe his replacement will be more tactically viable.

Alright, Atlas has pulled all military forces out of Mantle. Guess that means Ash and CAMO would be out too. Officially anyway. Making note for future threads...

Cute about the news guy, but I LOVE the fact you can hear the former masculinity in May’s voice here, like she isnt fully finished transitioning. If its intentional, bravo. If not, still cool.

“Its time to show your teeth, Mantle.”  HELL FUCKING YES THATS THE KINDA SHIT IVE BEEN WANTING TO HEAR!

Ah and there’s the hoverbikes from the teasers. I really dont get why they’re so goddamn big. Surely you can miniatruize hovertech...right?

They’re big enough to have weapons installed IMO. They should have.

Ah okay here’s the rest of the trailer

Hey look more lesbians. Boy that one on the left is MAD.

I cannot believe these Grimm are dumb enough to not go AROUND the dropwall (and Im going to call it that until I get something else, its literally the equipment from Halo Infinite’s release trailer). I get Grimm are dumb but damn bro.

Ah okay, THATS the split. All the faunus live in the slums down in the crater. Mantle proper is the mid-level, and then Atlas is humans for the most part. As far as I can tell anyway. Literal stratification. 

Ugh, that whole conversation was so expositiony. Jesus fucking christ.

Holy shit this crews moving slow. Like, good fucking lord.

Personaly headcanon; that tiny fox toy Oscar rides past on his bike is later retreived by Ash. That is actually his bootprint on it too oddly enough.

Unity in this situation, Ozpin? Not likely. What you need is miltiary intervention and firepower.

Still not sure why there’s smokestacks in Mantle if everything on Remnant runs on Dust. Maybe its steam vents for the heating system.

So the Crater is literally a divide. Like a circular diamond mine or one of those “rabbit hole” gold ones. Literal wall holding its outside. 

Snowshoe Shipping. New company. Full autonomous workforce from the looks of it. SDC related of course. And its still running despite everything. The drones here are literally AKs. Motherfucker, I think I know where the idea for them came from. SDC literally just weaponized its fucking worker robots. 

And apperently Dust is refined in the Crater. Okay that makes sense. Does it come from outside or are they still mining it there I wonder.

Oh pnumatic elevator. STEALING THAT

“That isn’t relevant at the moment.” WAY TO DODGE THE QUESTION RT. YEAH BECAUSE THERES TOTALLY NOT OTHER COMPANIES OUT THERE RIGHT?

What the fuck happened to Penny? Did becoming the Maiden make her emo?

Lol yeah people are gonna die, its WAR Penny, eat shit and get over it. Fucking weaklings...

Your the maiden. Get over it. Go kill some people, you’ll feel better. Relish in power.

And Weiss is now dead from either pressure shock, thermobaric style lung implosion, forceful impact, or just being crushed flat. Oh, and asphyxiation.  Seriously that was the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life. REALLY NORA.

Oh hey, a banjo in the crater. It really is hicksville.

Fire dust crystals right into a metal container to keep it  going. Holy shit it only took us 8 seasons to see Dust used physically again...

Sheep nom map. Nom nom. 

Wonder who this Crimson she mentioned is.

Lil hops. Oh no shes too cute.  Also it seems Mantle is divided into sectors. Useful information. Wonder what designates them.

Hahahah Fiona’s uncles a mole XD

And good to know “crap” is a swearword on Remnant.

Sounds like Crimson is a person with the Huntress’s. With his accent Im going to personally imagine his a grizzled former veteran, like Sergeant Stacker from Halo.

Note; the map says “Mantle City”. Interesting. Wonder what the other option is. Crater?

Ohhh and a spudmasher. Wait...no thats not a grenade. Some kind of gravitational surge thing. Again. Okay seriously RT is it so hard to just make a FUCKING WEAPON? Nothing fancy, no special features, just something that kills the fucking enemy. 

Okay...what the hell. Those Grimm cleared out like they got a retreat signal...

Ohho whats this now...this thing looks a LOT more interesting. And SAVAGE. Damn, its beating the SHIT out of Oscar! I think I like this one.

It transforms. Like the Zeta Gundam. FASCINATING. So it must have a rapid transport/assault form of the original dog one then changes to this new one for close in? Or carrying I guess, its stealing Oscar. This must be the thing that Salem sent.

Yeah kinda looks like a werewolf.

Soooo why were they just standing there watching this thing beat up on him? It was open for a couple of seconds. Surely it cant be they were worried about Oscar, the best thign to do if an enemy is grappling your friend is to get in and take advantage of it. 

Its smart too, used Oscar as a meatshield. Apperently just long enough to distract Yang and then yeet her. 

Its got ONE HAND with Oscar in it you idiots, hit it all at once! Go for the legs and the other arm, knock it down, blow its head off. COME ON, its OBVIOUS.

Oh hey it talked. Good. That means it can probably feel pain.

There is no way those legs should work like that. They’re too small and its torsos the wrong shape. This things breaking physics. 

The arms are also way too long.

Also why are you just standing there watching it grow wings? Kill the fucking thing already.  Gotta admit the movement and screaming makes me think it feels pain. Interesting. Good to know.  That or its just body horror/squick.

And thats the episode. I like how Fiona calls them “kids” though shes probably about their age. 

okay when i made this blog i was never gonna talk in depth about personal details but it's my personal blog and i need to fuckin vent

tw suicide mention , vague reference to sy//sc//ou//rse the suicide bit is mentioned (past tense, vague) but not a present risk, if this shows up in that second tag i'm gonna lose my goddamn mind, so help me. don't bring it to this post i do not care. i warn about it because i hate it.

so i was never Going to share this information, but it's context. im a system member of... questionable origins. there was some element of "imaginary friend becomes real" in the story of my life, but we've also been realizing that i just happened to pop in at, inarguably, the most traumatic point in our life, so it's just. whatever.

i don't CARE, except that we've been discussing finding a new therapist and also how, exactly, we're supposed to talk about me. we don't have a diagnosis because our previous one supported us in our "actually this is not causing me distress so i don't want it pathologized" mindset (and we still don't necessarily want to pursue one, for various personal reasons) but if we're gonna get a therapist im gonna fuckin talk to them as myself because i have problems that need solving, too. so it's been something to think about. don't know the chances of finding someone who's gonna be cool about it, never tried. it's stressing me out.

i spent half my fucking life being told "you exist whether or not people believe you're real and regardless of where you came from" and the other half being told "you can't be real because you don't fit x y or z criteria" and i'm so. done with it. i don't care anymore WHY or HOW i exist because, unfortunately, i do!! trust me, we've tried to just believe me out of existence, tried to just be like "okay, i've served my purpose, i can fuck off" but i'm stuck here! would give literally anything to get out of this head and be a Real Boy but here we are. this blog was originally a chance to let me try: just one space where i'm me and only me and implied to actually exist outside of my stupid head.

nothing against max, he's my best fucking friend, but i don't know if we would even like each other if i wasn't stuck with him. i mean, we would -- it's not to say that we don't genuinely care about each other -- but i just don't think we would have ever met. and i think i'm too much like people he hates now anyway, cause i went and absorbed their traits while we were still friends with them. i don't know. i'm mad that i don't get the chance to find out, though. i'm not kidding when i say i'd give anything i have to exist separately, but instead i'm stuck here and i have to make do with just... sometimes interacting with people who are friends with him first and me because they're trustworthy enough to know about me.

i can't go out and meet new people, i don't get to decide what kind of people i would be friends with if i had the chance, i don't get to decide what kind of community i would build on my own. i don't want to spend my whole life this closely connected to anyone. i want some form of independence. instead i spend my whole life thinking "if someone knows the truth of me, will they automatically dismiss me as fake or fucked up?" really gets in the way of my personal relationships.

thus, therapist.

i'm also terrified that whoever we talk to is going to suck. i'm obviously going to try to present the facts of my life as truthfully as possible, but i'm afraid that anyone with experience in these things is going to try to diagnose me with something i don't want to be diagnosed with. or that i'll be dismissed as a symptom of max's psychosis, regardless of the fact that i exist even when max is medicated and doing well. or that max's life will be prioritized over mine, even if i get the courage to speak for myself and we're both willing to make changes so that i can actually live. it takes a lot to actually be honest with what my life is and how i feel about it, and the risk that i'll be told im a problem to be medicated against.

i know max is lookin out for the same things i am, and i know he actually cares and wants to help me actually enjoy my life. we both know i'm here to stay, and not just because max still needs someone to talk him into living. we're about as healthy as we've ever been, plus or minus a few symptoms, and quarantine has given me a lot of time to think and i know we both want to actually make my life worthwhile for me if i'm stuck with it. it's just a matter of. how. we need outside advice for that.

i've tried to get my own hobbies, i've tried to make my own spaces on the internet where only i exist, i've tried to make my own friends, but i'm just shit at it. i don't know where to start. i have interests that max does not have, but generally if we do things we do them together. our shared interests are great! lately we've been reading together, and sometimes we watch movies! i just wish i also got to do things on my own. people weren't made to be with other people 100% of the time. now neither of us gets to be alone in our heads for even a second. max has a paranoia that he's constantly being watched and judged and i don't exactly help, considering i see everything he ever does. i want literally nothing in the world more than to be alone sometimes, but, (gestures at all of me). i figure if a professional can't help, nobody can.

here at the end i just want to add a disclaimer that like... i don't hate my life. i care very deeply for all the friends i do have, and especially the ones who interact with me intentionally. i had one person the other day ask max specifically about how i was doing, without just assuming that i'm always watching in the background and where it wasn't even necessary that i be mentioned, and i've never appreciated anything more than the implication that i exist to other people when i'm not there. i just want a chance to make all of the stuff i'm stuck with actually work for me, in a way that makes me happy i exist.

i dont know how to do it, and i started out frustrated about it but now i'm just tired. i would like help. we just have to find someone who i can trust and who i'm not afraid of and maybe i can finally make some goddamn progress for once.

SW fandom rant

To be honest, I don't really know how or where can I start talking about this. If you aren't interested in any of the Star Wars drama that is going on then skip this post, cause its gonna be long... these goes for the SW fans we are concerned about the whole situation itself. I barely have the strength to do this and exposing my opinion about certain things makes me uncomfortable but it's been a long while since I'm keeping things to myself. There's much information I have to process so please be patient with me since I barely know how to express my emotions in the right way (that's why I'm holding myself back a lot here: it will seem I'm calm... but I'm not. I'm angry and tired at the same time).

DISNEY CANON

We all know where it all started. The Force Awakens premiere in 2015. We will start from there.

As ANY star wars movie, there will be people who liked it, people who loved it and people who hated it. And there is where some fans clash with the others. Fans who enjoy practically every movie or SW related things and those fans who demonize every movie (specially the ones from the new Disney canon) and the only thing that matters for them are the episodes IV, V, VI and the Legends canon (some of them also defend the prequel episodes I, II and III, fact which I'll talk about it later). And they bash against everyone who likes the Disney sequels.

BOI IM SCARED OF TELLING PEOPLE THIS WAS MY FAVOURITE SAGA SO FAR. And I already had problems with Legends hardcore fans.

Let me tell this straightaway... Star Wars are movies for kids. They've always been. George Lucas said it. They seem to be thirsty for feeling again what they felt when they were kids whenever a SW movie comes out but they always exit the cinema with a feeling of extreme disappointment.

I was talking about the last movie with my co workers at the beginning of the year and they complaint it was "too Disney". And that's precisely what I'm trying to explain! It's ok whether you like the sequels or not like them. Everyone has his own taste. I just find funny complaining for a whole saga originally made for kids for being "too Disney". I dont know if you get my point here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEsOqEpNF0k&list=PL8SlwcJuVWR2FNtL-6Wo5QUP6LMjpNJUA

LEGENDS CANON

Then there's those who hated the prequels, that said there was nothing worse than the phantom menace, those who hated on George Lucas for doing such a crap, but now praise the prequels because Disney is satan for them and they want the old canon back. George Lucas ended up selling SW to Disney because, he ain't no fool, he knows this fanbase is one of the most toxic and ungrateful that has ever existed. And he saw it with the prequels feedback... Then they now have the guts to demand him to continue the old canon? Smells like hypocrite-crying fanboys to me.

My whole point is....It's ok if you are a new/Disney sequels fan, it's ok if you are a prequels fan, it's ok if you are a SW original movies fan, Legends canon fan, OG fan, casual fan, hardcore fan... as always you understand that not everyone will agree with your point of view, not everyone will like or think the same way as you do, or live SW the same way as you do. There's a difference between respecting and agreeing with, concepts which sometimes get mixed and taken as the same thing, which is not. Respect other fans mean "I don't agree with you but I know how much this means for you, so I won't intentionally mock you" WHICH THING LEADS US TO THE NEXT TOPIC:

JOHN BOYEGA

*takes a deep breath*

Man. I dont know. He's a full grown up man and he's behaving like a 5 yo on his social media...... John is the actor who gives life to Finn (the ex stormtrooper). It all started with this sexist comment he responded to a fan in his IG. 

Then people (naturally) got offended, specially reylos. But instead of apologizing he kept on going, remarked what he said and also did a video to mock the reylo community.

You think I'm only defending a ship here but no. Its bigger than that. He has the right to feel left out in this saga because I agree with him IN THAT FACT. He is probably the actor which is more into the SW world, he was always a big fan (of the whole cast I mean). Thats why fans love him do much. And I did love him too. And he (naturally) wanted to have more spotlight on this saga ( I think Finn was one of the most wasted characters of these movies tbh) But instead of taking it the mature way he's having a tantrum on his IG because Finnrey did not become a real thing, he's trolling reylos and encouraging SW haters and antis to bully them whose are already having a hard time with TROS end (which I'll talk about later because I dont like their attitude about it either).

And it's not just raise the hate on shippers thing dude you could just apologize because you said something sexist and offended a lot of people who ship reylo and really means a thing for them. The whole thing that the greatest achievement a man can have with a woman is sex is just DISGUSTING. Rey kissed Ben but now he's gone Finn has the road clear and can fuck her? BRUH.

This is all so wrong and he was the one who started it.

ADAM DRIVER

I'm really relieved Adam does not have any social media because omg I would be suffering so much rn...

I honestly have never emotionally connected with an actor so much as I did with him. His whole acting is so good and I could really notice on this last movie. I'm starting to watch his other movies. And not just his acting, he's so professional off camera too.

I'm really happy and proud of him for his Oscar nomination, he really deserves it TT

But I'm worried this whole John Boyega thing affects him. Idk how I would feel if I were in his shoes, if my coworker was saying those things on social media and then smile at me like nothing is happening. But honestly what hurts me the most is he's having a worse time with "reylos".. I think the rumors of him having an affair with Daisy Ridley was what messed things up. I honestly dont know if its true, I've got some info but it's hard to believe. Because there are so many haters manipulating fake info that I dont trust anything and anyone anymore.

And this is where I talk about:

REYLOS AND DAIVERS

BOI OH BOI

This is gonna be hard....

First of all, I don't consider Daivers (Daisy x Adam shippers) as part of the reylo community. I'm sorry. But its fucking disgusting you going to demand Adam to divorce from his wife, abandon his son and then start dating Daisy because of this rumor or because you can't separate fiction from reality.... I read he even recieved death threats ARE WE NUTS??? They (Adam and Daisy) having a good chemistry working together doesn't mean they are in love, kids...

Driver has an awesome wife and a lovely son. Daisy is currently dating someone.

Infidelity is gross. No more. And I would be so disappointed at them if this turns out to be true. But seeing all what's happening around the actors and specially having all this haters out there... I'll say this was all false information.

Daiver is not real and won't be. So stick only to the fictional ship.....

About Reylo itself. I find REALLY funny how people who dont know shit about what this ship means say it's an abusive relationship. Bullshit. I wouldn't be shipping them if so.

Also the people still stating it's not real/canon hiding themselves behind the "Ben solo is dead lol" argument. Do you stop loving someone when they die?

Yes, they love each other. No, it wasn't always reciprocated love. They started being enemies in the force awakens, friends who understood and cared for each other through force dyad in the last jedi and ended up being lovers at the end of the rise of Skywalker. Rey wants to revenge her family (her falling to the dark side) but also wants Ben Solo back, and he wants to be the most powerful leader on the galaxy and still being kylo ren. But they eventually meet in the middle between light and dark and Leia finally reaches out to him to make him turn to the light.That's their fight. That's the angst. That's the tea. "No one is ever really gone" there's always hope. Star Wars is centered in HOPE. And their story represents it at its finest.

NOW. The reylo community.

Despite you liked it or not the end they gave to the saga... I think JJ Abrams doesn't deserve all the hate he's receiving... he probably did a lot of things wrong but seriously... just stop. Not only from reylos but the whole fandom.

Sending hate won't lead to anything now...

I enjoyed The rise of Skywalker. Indeed I spent half of the movie crying and I loved it.

You can cry as much as you want the loss of Ben (although I have hope for him still being alive in a way, there are plenty of theories) but that doesn't give you the right to death threat JJ. And I think I'll stop here cause I'm already tired.

Everyone has their own taste, preferences, favourite characters, ships, whatever. I pray for people stop judging others for their tastes, specially in this cursed fanbase. Sorry if I ever misbehaved trying to defend what I think or like. I just want this place to be supportive and safe for everyone and everything what's happening is not helping... We are all SW fans and that's our connection point. Dont discredit others for having another point of view...

I'll leave it here, but I'm open to debate or talk about anything I said in a respectful way.

🌻

oh my god anon you're the best I was just kidding when I reblogged that but BUCKLE UP WE GOT SOME LANGUAGE FACTS

Ok so background so you can trust my information on this is that I went to (but didnt finish) grad school to become a speech pathologist, but also you can totally just look this study up its referred to as the "monster" study I believe? But it basically proved that you cannot induce a Stutter.

So like forever ago but not nearly as long as you think, we didnt really, like, give a shit about children (shocking, I know). So people wanted to do this study to see if we could induce a Stutter in children. So because we cared even less about orphans than we did about children in loving homes, they concocted this study to try to fuck these kids up.

So they took this orphanage and chose half the kids and the nuns that took care of them started to treat the kids like they had stutters. Theyd be HORRIBLE about it, too. "Oh, Johnny, do you hear how disfluent your voice is? Listen to how Jane speaks--see how clear it is? You should talk more like Jane." Just constantly. That was a tame example, I'm sure.

And it was a longitudinal study, so it went on as these kids grew up, but none of them, not one, developed a Stutter. So they kind of just went on as if the study didnt happen until, like, years later I think someone sued? Or it came up somehow, I'm fuzzy on those details. But all these kids grew up and became adults with their own lives and families, and they realized that none of them had a Stutter, but they DID have severe anxiety around their speech and basically stopped talking unless they absolutely had to.

Now, we dont do studies that we know will cause intentional harm on people, but it did, at least, give us valuable information to give to parents of children with a Stutter. A lot of parents blame themselves for what is a neurological condition (will expand more on that in a second), but because of this study we can tell parents, without a doubt, that there is no way they could have caused their child's Stutter, because even when these kids were intentionally being abused to give them one, they didnt develop disfluencies.

Note that I'm talking about capital S Stutter. We dont really know too much about Stutters (we have some treatments that help for a time, but no cure, and a lot of people, but not everyone, outgrow it) but we do know it's a neurological condition. Disfluencies when you're nervous or having a tough time getting your thoughts out are completely different from actual Stutters, and actual Stutters have specific patterns and instances in which they occur, which are different from typical disfluencies we have.

An actual treatment sometimes is to sing, because that tends to reduce Stuttering, but only for a time. You have to keep changing tactics usually because your brain, like, gets used to it? Idk man it's weird. Stutters are fascinating.

send me a 🌻 and I'll tell you about whatever I want

Omg

People need to stop using what they think are intellectual arguments to try to shade at shit while COMPLETELY MISUSING IT.

Example: There was a cross in the reunion episode!

Okay, great, let’s look at all the other uses of crosses. Oh look, episodes about faith, faith, faith, faith, faith, and faith. Right after not believing in anything, not backshadowing him with the cross, reuniting, and then having the cross, only to later confirm he now has faith.

Thing someone thinks is occam’s razor: It could mean anything any time and at any moment could mean something totally different without any regard to the base themes being employed literally every time. It could just mean resurrection like jesus!

What’s actually occam’s razor: The cross is tied to faith theme episodes. Like, I don’t know. The episode Faith.

Y’all stop. It’s like arguing from an angle of belligerently intentional ignorance.

And losing your patience with people who have no idea what they’re talking about downtalking at people who know what they’re talking about, after fucking up and making their own bed to begin with while they stomp around like a child and get other angry bitter people stomping with them to make a fuss -- getting annoyed, at any point, is in no way the sign of being the More Logical Person. Sometimes you’re so illogical you piss everybody around you that knows what’s up, off. See: Kelios. 

If your only victory point is staying calm while you piss off people that know better, you’re not smarter. You’re just annoying. You know how there’s that “annoying stupid Republican” idea floating around out there where they just can’t say anything without being annoying or infuriating? It started somewhere. And it’s not because Someone Lost To Them. It’s because ain’t nobody got the time for their Headass.

PS: It’s not “stuck up” to cite your actual career, education, or whatever else after already being driven up a wall by a bunch of bitter fansplaining from people who can’t grasp concepts like the above. If someone’s talking on an elementary school level to a person who works in an industry, the person will first gently tell them how it works, and when the child starts kicking and huffing and throwing insults, will call a parent, but if no parent’s available, they get “you’ll understand when you grow up” and that’s essentially what’s happening here.

Being intentionally fucking numbskulled about things because someone wants to be bitter and act like they understand a business, when they literally do not understand the business, and have shown they do not know the business, and continue to insist to yell down at people that know about the business, eventually makes people who know the business go “You do know I’ve done this for a living and you’re totally on crack, right?”

If all of the people with Actual Experience are saying a thing, maybe you should stop trying to Fansplain or Hobbysplain shit to them and actually consider adjusting your perspective instead of acting entitled all the time. 

Imagine trying to be a trainee in a workplace with this attitude.

Machinist: Okay, these are the lathe codes. Just use these, and avoid this one.

Trainee: What’ll happen if I enter this instead.

Machinist: Don’t, that jams up the machine for some reason.

Trainee: That doesn’t make any sense! You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Machinist: Look, kid. Just don’t. If anything goes wrong, hit this emergency stop button.

Trainee: I’ve read online that some of those buttons break the machine

Machinist: I... look. Hit emergency stop if anything goes wrong.

Trainee: Don’t tell me what to do.

Machinist: I been working here 30 years kid.

Trainee: That doesn’t matter, you’re just pulling the experience card, I’m skilled too.

Machinist: .....

[ 2 hours later Trainee punches in code he’s told not to and bores at a bad angle and burns out a multi-hundred-thousand-dollar machine because he didn’t use emergency stop, loses his job ]

Ask me how I know a story like this, while we’re at it.

Frankly, no. Alone, a degree doesn’t count for a whole lot. There’s an assload of educated idiots that manage a passing grade and then never see the profession in the real world. But when the people who have been out there, in the real world, dealing in an area, are telling you what they know, maybe you should give it some consideration. But when that degree is, say, a double degree lit professor, or that degree is someone in marketing that’s also run all levels of the actual industry for years on end, maybe they might know a little something about something that your basic lit course or bitterness aren’t taking into account.

Apologies to you, random blogger #89234 with an interest in a thing, but if the accumulated hobby information you’ve collected is outright in conflict (see machinist example) of How Things Actually Work, you cease being a supreme authority, and if you start acting like a little prick about it to people who actually know the ropes, well -- we can’t fire you from the internet (as appealing as that sounds at times), but we can deadass tell you “you have no idea what you’re talking about.” HOW DO U KNOW “BECAUSE I’VE DONE THIS FOR A LIVING.” HUrRruUrURRRr thAT donT meaN anyTHING

Yes, yes it does. It means I’ve been there, I’ve watched things be set up, be destroyed, transition, be debated over, been in the heart of it. It means I’ve watched friends lose their gigs and get sidelined and others take off so hard we barely maintain contact anymore. It means I’ve had to listen to marketing groups piss and moan over working titles because it’s not X enough for Y demographic (you want to know a pain in the ass? marketing test group runs for pagan mythology LGBT friendly content in a southern religious conservative region --and you know what, I can release that, because it’s mine and a discontinued project now; unlike, say, if one of us happened to land at a CW/SPN marketing test group somewhere and happened to have to sign an NDA about what they were polling about).

It means I watch when a TPTB family member posts in a private facebook group and it means I talk to the sound dev crews about how they make certain things -- not some one off room-mating or the occasional DM or whatever, because we can all talk actual shop and not fanbuzz; in fact, I’ve BEEN a roommate people tried to get stuff out of and they probably walked away thinking they were super in-the-know while there’s a thousand things I didn’t/couldn’t say but they’d never know; and it means I know which of my fandoms have shared PAs you guys never knew by name; it means they can actually break out about the kind of lenses and audio devices they used to perform a certain shot and the abstract methods they attained it and I can actually come back with a suggestion that doesn’t embarrass both of us to sit out there in the air; it means I know how to appeal to a shifting demographic and discuss the problems in limited circulation.

 It means that I know how the gears of a machine work and don’t just sit from the outside going “well maybe it’s-” no, it’s this, this, and that. No, you don’t get to pontificate what you think Actually Is In It when I literally know What Is In It. That isn’t how reality works. Well you can, but the reality of it is that no, your opinion or Hot Take(TM) aren’t equal. I don’t care if you’ve gone to teaparties with them, I really don’t. 

The quickest way to get someone from a creative team to disengage from actual content conversation and instead feeding you fluff is when you obviously have no idea of the machinations involved and are coming as a fan or hobbyist. You don’t think people can tell the difference. You think you sound like you’re exceptional. But when you open your mouth it takes about two seconds for us to know. 

I can turn a regional studio owner’s ear in the middle of a freaking dollar general by saying a few things; or a major music producer; why? Because we’ve been there. And we’ve been there long enough when y’all try to come up talking like you know shit.

Reality: You don’t. I don’t care how many clickbait articles someone has written. I literally have 0% care for how much public facing PR you’re fed. Or anything you think is non-public facing that they were willing to give You, the general You, a fandomite or hobbyist or yes, reporter. Hell, the latter list of LOL tends to think X rando directing assistant or whatever will have All The Secrets at a business level. Thing is, when I was any kind of PA or adjacent, I sure as hell didn’t delude myself into knowing everything going on above my head, just what I needed to know. Do it long enough and yes, you learn the business mechanics themselves but no one person beyond the upper executives is gonna know everything. Each knows what their job specification is.

Frankly, again I say, if you want to really know what’s going on, you check out what marketing is polling, because that’s what Big Business is putting in discussion, and really, that’s that. Then again, if you get into the groups, enjoy that NDA, and not being able to tell anybody about anything about it, and just waving your arms emphatically about an idea that people try to lol about.

Am I talking SPN? Am I talking something else I worked on or attended or know about? In the end, does that really matter? 

Not all topics come down specifically to experience and expertise within a subject, but some do, and if you’re out here acting like a twidiot over it, eventually, the people who work in it go, “look y’all bless your heart but we actually do this, so sit down?”

Nobody’s saying you CAN’T meta or lit crit without a degree or experience, but if you’re out there being a shady fuck towards people who literally know what they’re doing, with minimal to no actual substance to your shade, just convenience to those who want to believe you, then yes. The people who actually know what they’re doing > the people that don’t and are just ass speaking  or throwing “what ifs” or “it could bes” on hunches regardless of the follower counts attached.

A lot of people do good meta or spec without a degree or experience, because they just have a good reading and, I don’t know, understand what shit like Occam’s Razor actually means. It’s not mandatory. But if you’re about to start swinging on someone, son, just because you’re piloted by bitterness and aren’t even thinking to 1+1 this charade, you should probably check your narcissism points if you’re butting off at-random against people who do have experience and a fairly synchronized understanding.

Or at least more than piss-poor long-disjointed sub-par disembodied and fractal arguments that sum to nothing, their captain wank planet forces combined.

There’s a pillar or two of meta and Destiel meta fandom I avoid like the plague because I can read it’s pure fluff and completely uncorroborated with an actual basic application of Occam’s Razor. That doesn’t mean I spend my time shading them or dragging their crap out or picking fights with them or just being a bitch about it on my blog.

A few people could learn from that.

the moment

Summary: bucky is faced with a question he can’t seem to find the answer to. Pairing: bucky x reader Word Count: 4.7k+ bc i dont know how to shut tf up Warning(s): hella pet names, a lil angst, sad bucky

a/n: happy birthday bucky!!

“You want to what who?”

Peter stiffens at the question, raising his arms up in a defensive stance. “Okay, hear me out—“

“No, no. It’s not an I-can’t-believe-what-just-came-out-of-your-mouth type of question,” Tony interrupts, raising a hand. “I just dissociated for a bit is all. Go on.”

You watch in amusement as Peter takes a huge relieved breath, nodding at Tony who takes a sip of his fourth (is it the fifth?) cup of coffee for today.

“Okay. I-I wanted to interview you for a project for my Marketing class. W-We have to start a business of some sort and advertise it. It just happens that we had to draw from a box what we drew was wedding planning. So you know, I thought it would be a great idea to interview couples. And then I thought of you. And by you, I mean all the couples in this tower.” Peter releases another deep breath after his explanation, bouncing both in excitement and anxiety with a gleam in his eyes, trying and failing to hide his excitement

You can’t help but smile, endeared by his eagerness, only for that smile to dim a little when you feel Bucky stiffen beside you. You squeeze his hand discreetly but reassuringly, keeping your eyes on Peter whose face was far too excited and adorably expectant to be able to say no to.

You were in the middle of doing laundry with Bucky when FRIDAY called you to the common room as per Tony’s request, not really specifying why. When you arrived along with everyone else, you’re greeted by the sight of Peter Parker standing awkwardly behind the couch with an incredibly tired-looking Tony leaning against a wall. Honestly, it amazes you how he still manages to hold himself up when he looks like he’s about ready to pass out any minute.

Silence beats around the room for a few moments, and each minute that passes, you can practically see Peter’s excitement fade and get replaced by shame.

You were about to speak up and just say yes after seeing him look down in disappointment but Tony beat you to it.

“‘Course, kid,” he takes a few steps closer to him and pats his shoulder, “you didn’t have to be so nervous. Sounds good to me. Sounds good, right?” He looks around the room, getting a collective nod from Sam, Nat, Steve, and you.

You beam with delight once you see Peter’s excitement come back. You turn to Bucky who only sported a faraway look, making your expression fall instantly. He sees your smile from his peripherals, and when he feels your gaze on him, he turns to look at you only to find the smile he was expecting to see now replaced by a look of worry. He tries to muster up a smile, but it does nothing to ease the expression on your face.

“Are you good with this, Buck? I mean, Peter has enough people, I think. We can pass up for this one—“

“Not if you want to. And I can tell you want to.” He smiles, leaning closer to you.

“I want to help, yes. But if it would make you uncomfortable, it’s a straight up no, and you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” he says, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb, “and I want to.”

He’s lying through his teeth, but he manages to force out a pretty convincing smile that made the tension in your shoulders drop, and he thinks it’s worth it. He doesn’t want you to feel like he’s holding you back from the things you want to do. He wants you to feel free with him. Always. He wants to prove to you—or maybe more to himself— that he can do this. It’s just an interview. Couple of questions and it’s done. Besides, he knows Peter. He’s a good kid, and he would never put anyone in a position that would make them uncomfortable, or at least intentionally anyway.

You smile at him before pressing your lips on his forehead, and he tells himself again, yeah, this is worth it.

“We can still back out, you know.” you say as you adjust the sleeves of his button down shirt that’s folded up to his elbows, eyes flitting over to his face as you hear him release another sigh. It was the day of the interview, and you could tell he’s getting antsy again, more so than he had been the past few days.

“No.” he says, voice certain, but his eyes, not so much.

It’s your turn to let out a sigh, cupping his cheek in one hand to get him to look at you and running your thumb on his cheek comfortingly.

A small smile threatens to make its way up your lips when he meets your eyes. A familiar warmth explodes in your chest as he smiles at you, the blue of his eyes getting lighter. You bite your lip when you realize that you just forgot what you meant to tell him as soon as he looked at you, so you press your lips to his nose instead.

“You’re beautiful.” you whisper.

He chuckles, pink tinting his cheeks. “Stop it.”

“What? It’s true.” You press kisses to his face again, saying one sweet thing after each one, making him burst into giggles.

He retaliates by pressing his fingers onto your sides and wiggling them, making you laugh out loud. You try to push him away from you but he only tightens his hold, pressing light little kisses all over your neck.

“I love you,” he murmurs into your skin, and you melt instantly.

“I love you too.” You wrap your arms around him tightly, heart and soul at peace.

“Buck? Y/N?” A series of knocks sound through the door. You make a move to step out of the hug to open the door and see what Steve wants, but Bucky doesn’t let you go.

“Hmm?” he hums in reply to Steve, face still buried in your neck.

“You two ready?” Steve asks, swinging the door open.

You throw a quick greeting to Steve, hoping he heard you as you try your best to look at him with Bucky’s head in between your neck and shoulder and your back to the door. He only chuckles at the sight before him, still patiently awaiting a reply.

“Are we, baby?” you gently ask. He nods in response, stepping around a little so now your sides are facing the door.

“I need your words, angel.” you coax.

His heartbeat picks up at the nickname, a dopey smile appearing on his face as he lifts his head to look at you. “Yes.”

“Oh, my god.” Steve mutters in mock exasperation from the doorway, making Bucky throws him a dirty look, mind flashing back to all of the teasing he had to endure by him about you turning him into a sap.

“Shut up. Go away.” he snaps, making Steve raise his hands in surrender as he slowly backs away, smug smile still on his face.

He waits for the sound of his best friend’s steps to fade completely before letting his hold around you loosen up a bit.

“Let’s go?” you ask, taking his hands from behind you and holding them tightly.

“Yeah,” He squeezes them and takes the first step out of the room, keeping in mind that as long as you’re with him, he can do anything.

Except that he couldn’t. He really, really couldn’t.

Missions, espionage, murder, anything really, he can endure. HYDRA made damn sure he’d be good at that. Just not cameras. Or talking about personal things. Especially not both at the same time. It goes against his instincts of hiding under the shadows and keeping as much information to himself as he possibly can, not really having anyone to trust for such a long time.

He shifts uncomfortably under the scrutiny of the lens as Peter writes something down on a paper behind it. Through his peripherals, he can see everyone else who went before them looking through the windows, much like the two of you did a few moments ago when waiting for your turn. One of the rooms in the tower was redesigned to look warmer, more comforting and homey with cream-colored couches, brown pillows, and plants. They made sure the interview took place in the middle of the day, with the sun out and its light illuminating the room.

Every single one who went before you got back quickly. Tony and Pepper were the first, and they told the rest of you that only one question was going to be asked, but they refused to disclose what the question was, claiming that the whole point of it was to catch the ones being interviewed off guard and get the most honest answer out of them— the first thing that came to mind. Bucky’s heart picked up pace at that, but not like how it does because of you. It’s solely because of anxiety. He didn’t want to mess up. But a look from you alone made the voices quiet down.

Right now, though, sitting beside you in said room in front of Peter, he’s so damn sure nothing could calm him down.

It was a simple question, really. So simple that it made the self-loathing inside him grow even more because he couldn’t come up with an answer for it.

“I just wanna know. What was the moment for each of you?” Peter had asked. “As in, what was the moment that made you realize you loved the other person?”

You smiled brightly at him upon hearing it, almost excitedly. And what Tony and Pepper said made so much sense now. It’s supposed to catch you off guard so that moment for you flashes in your mind and you just know. It seemed like it happened for you based on the way you’re smiling at him, and it makes him feel like shit. He couldn’t, for the life of him, think of anything.

He loves you. He lives for you. That’s a given thing. It’s the one thing he’s sure about and holds on to very tightly ever since he got shoved into another world after living a life much like dying under HYDRA. He loves you, and that’s a constant in his life. A sure thing. And he hates himself so much more upon realizing that he didn’t know when or how he did. That he didn’t have a moment, like you do.

After every wrong thing he’s done, he’s so sure that the only thing he’s done right is loving you. And now he’s not so sure anymore. Is he really even loving you right, like how you deserve, if he can’t come up with an answer to a question you so easily can answer?

Your lips are moving, hands flying about animatedly as you talk with that sparkle in your eyes, something that you only have when you’re with him, according to Steve. He sees you talking, but he doesn’t really hear what you’re saying, mind already too busy trying to come up with an answer and screaming self-deprecating thoughts simultaneously.

“What about you, Mr. Barnes?”

He feels like he’s being pulled out of water when he hears his name, except that it has the opposite effect on him. He now feels like he can’t breathe even when he’s already supposedly in land.

“Baby, are you okay?” you ask, and he couldn’t meet your eyes. Not because he’s afraid of seeing disappointment or hatred in them because god, he’d take that any day over what he knows he’ll see.

He tries to breathe properly and calm himself down as discreetly as possible, but it doesn’t work. He just wants to come up with something, anything that would fully express how much he loves you and not just some half-assed bullshit, but he couldn’t and he hates himself so much because he couldn’t even do one goddamn thing right for you and he wishes he wasn’t like this or that he wasn’t here—

The atmosphere in the room completely changed through the course of his silence, he realizes. The light you brought when you were the one talking is now replaced by the burden of his existence, and it breaks him even more.

You rub your thumb on the back of his hand, and he makes the mistake of looking at you, only seeing understanding and adoration, things he definitely did not deserve from anyone, much less from you.

“I’m sorry,” he manages to choke out before standing up and leaving the room. He passes the others by as he makes his way to the elevators, disappointment surely marring their features. What else would they expect from him anyway? From someone who fucks everything up?

The elevator door closes, and he heaves a ragged breath, hands instinctively shooting to his side to clutch on to something, only to realize that there’s nothing, or rather no one beside him. His mouth drops open in horror as it dawns on him that he left you in there. He walked out in the middle of the interview in front of everyone, not giving an answer after he watched you pour your heart into one and he left you to clean up after his goddamn mess. He clutches his hair in exasperation, wanting to just tear the doors of the elevators open and run back to you. But the shame and the fear of what you’re going to say to him makes him shrink back into himself.

So he locks himself into your shared room instead, like the coward that he is.

He opens one of the windows, making the cool breeze get inside as he wipes the tears that fell harshly off his face. He would’ve gone to the rooftop, but the security doors and walls offer is something he needs right now.

(Your arms around him beats that. But he knows he doesn’t really deserve that after the shit he pulled.)

But all of the false sense of peace he tried to build around him shatters when he hears the door open and shut. He doesn’t even have to look to know who it is.

Goddamn FRIDAY. Goddamn this tower’s tech. Goddamn him the most for being a mistake of a human being.

“Hey,” he hears you say softly. So softly understanding and love bleeds through the sound.

He doesn’t respond, clenching his jaws hard in an attempt to keep the new onslaught of tears from falling. He has no right to cry. Not when you should be the one crying and screaming at him for being a piece of shit.

His entire body shakes when he feels your arms wrapping securely around him. The tears fall and he can’t help but release a strangled breath, both from relief upon feeling you and guilt, so much guilt because he knows he doesn’t deserve this yet he can’t let you go.

He shuts his eyes tightly, steeling his heart and prying your hands off of him.

“Buck…?”

He stays silent, hoping you’d get the hint that he wants you to stay away for now. Because he’s no good and won’t ever be any good for you. And you don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve someone like him.

“I-I’m sorry.” you say. “We shouldn’t have gone, Buck. I’m so sorry.” Your voice breaks and he shatters. He caves in on himself, head in his hands and tugging harshly on his hair. He shakes from the sobs he’s trying to hold back, couldn’t breathe because of it. But he manages not to let a sound out.

You nod even when he can’t see you, wiping a few tears before stepping further away from him.

“I’m going to take another shower, okay?” you tell him just so he knows where to find you. Just so he knows you’re still going to be there, that you understand he needs space.

He doesn’t move until he hears the bathroom door shut and the water turn on. His nails start to dig unconsciously into his scalp, but he barely feels it, mind occupied with dark thoughts and heart filled with so much abhorrence for himself and so, so much more you. You and his love for you.

And he thinks maybe it isn’t enough. Maybe love isn’t enough because he’s a monster and he can’t and won’t ever be able to do anything right in this mistake of a second life he’s trying to build for himself.

But then he thinks of you. You and your never ending patience, your genuine and bright and only for him smiles, your soft eyes and lovely words, your I love yous and the countless different ways in which you tell him everyday. And he thinks maybe it is enough. So much more than enough and so much more than he deserves. God, he never stops wishing he could be better for you, but at the same time he’s selfishly praying you don’t get tired of him.

Before he could make sense of his actions, he’s stepping into the shower with you, shoulders slumped and fully clothed.

You jump when you feel his arms around you, more from the coldness of his metal arm and the fact that you can feel the fabric of the clothes he’s wearing than from his presence.

He pushes his face into the crook of your neck, nuzzling further, and you can only put your other hand on top of his arms around you.

“Baby, your clothes are gonna get wet,” you tell him softly, gulping as you feel his body tremble behind you.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles onto your skin, and your heart clenches in your chest.

“Your arm was just cold, is all. Nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart.” you say, knowing full well he’s not not talking about him startling you. It’s so much more than that. But you don’t want to push him about what happened earlier.

He shakes his head. “There’s so much. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”

You turn around and wrap your arms around his neck, caressing his back with one hand and running the other one through his already wet hair as best as you could.

“It wasn’t your fault. We shouldn’t have gone.” you coax, but he’s not having it.

“I wish I was someone better. Someone you deserve.” he chokes out, and you tighten your hold around him. Somehow, you can feel the difference between his tears and the droplets from the shower, and it almost feels like it’s burning your skin. You hate seeing him like this.

“I love you.” was the only thing you could say, your own voice shaking. He lets out a sob, a sound so goddamn broken and helpless it pains you. He slides down on his knees, wrapping his arms around your middle and pressing his face onto your stomach.

“I told myself I’m gonna be better for you. I swear, doll, I tried. But I can’t seem to do a damn thing right. I love you so much, but I can’t seem to do it right.” You can feel the uneven puffs of breath onto your skin and his hot tears, and you want to crouch down to his position but his hold on you is so tight you can barely move.

You try to pry his arms off of you, but as soon as he feels it, his head snaps up, eyes filled with panic.

“No, no, n-no. Baby doll, I’m sorry. I’m trying–“ his voice borders hysteria when you succeed on prying his arms off, but you quickly hush him by sitting down and taking his head in your arms and tucking it under your chin.

“I know, baby. I know you’re trying.” you say, still trying to keep your voice even.

“I’m sorry.” he weeps, hugging you back tightly.

“Shh, no. I love you. Nothing else matters as much as this. As much as you.”

He holds you tight, so close to him, and you tell him it’s okay. You don’t need his words. He’s shown you multiple times through numerous actions that he loves you. One time through literally taking a bullet for you, and you almost killed him for it, but you know that had the roles been reversed, you’d have done the same thing.

He loves you. He makes you feel it, and that’s enough. So much more than enough.

“Where are we going?” Your eyebrows furrow as he leads the way to wherever he’s planning to go, tugging you gently by the hand behind him.

He doesn’t answer, only smiling at you before the earnest look he’s had since breakfast this morning makes a comeback.

It’s been a week since the interview, and things are back to normal. That night though, he didn’t want to be apart from you in any way, making sure that he has your hand in his at all times, and when you fell asleep, he had his arms and legs wrapped around you, almost engulfing you with his stature. You didn’t mind, glad that at least he wasn’t pushing you away like he does sometimes.

The morning after that, everything’s back to the way it was. Nobody spoke of it, only Peter calling to apologize.

“Bucky, are we okay?” you ask again, squeezing his hand as the elevator goes up.

“Yes, doll.” He chuckles, pressing a kiss to your head.

“Then why won’t you—“

Before you can go on with your question, the elevator doors ding open, revealing the hall of a familiar floor.

“Just trust me, okay?” he says, running a thumb along your cheek, making you melt into him.

“Mmkay.” You sigh contently.

But again, your confusion grows when you realize that this is the floor where the room the interview took place in is. You’re walking right up to the room where it took place to be exact.

“Bucky—“

You’re again interrupted by the door opening, revealing Peter.

“Hey!” he greets, a smile lighting up his face. “It’s all set up. I was just about to go down, see if you changed your mind.” he continues, gaze directed at Bucky.

“No. Not this time.” Bucky says, still not looking at you.

They smile at each other, and you take that as an opportunity to finally talk.

“Okay,” you motion between the two of them, “care to enlighten me about what the hell’s going on?”

Bucky just gets behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and carries you inside the room, making you squeal from being lifted off the ground. Peter lets out a laugh, taking a seat as he watches Bucky waddle over to the couch, setting you down and plopping next to you.

You look around the room as the laughter dies down, apprehension replacing your joy. It looks the same as it did last week—cameras and all— and you’re kind of getting a hunch on what’s about to happen, making worry spring in your chest.

“Buck, are you sure?” you ask him.

He smiles and pecks your lips. “Yes.”

Peter clears his throat, grabbing both you and Bucky’s attention. “Okay, so…Mr. Barnes, what was the moment for you? The moment you realized you love Ms. Y/N?”

You take both of his hands in yours, ready to tell him sincerely that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to answer, that you didn’t have to do this again, but he turns to look at you and speaks first, and it makes your heart beat faster in your chest.

“It-It’s…” he stammers, red rising up his cheeks, “every time I’m with her. Every time I look at her. It’s always that moment.”

Your heart stops, and you feel your chest well up with warmth and so much love for this man sitting next to you.

“Some will say it’s a lazy answer,” he chuckles a bit, and you shake your head, vision already blurry, “but it’s the truth. I’ve spent so much time either frozen or wishing I had my eyes closed instead just so I don’t see what I was doing. There was a time when even closing my eyes isn’t an escape. Everything I did follows me, awake or not. And then there’s you.”

You let the tears fall freely, not wanting to let go of the hand of the love of your life who’s looking at you like you’re one of the goddamn seven wonders of the world or something.

“Every time I see you next to me when the day begins and as it ends, I just know that I love you, and that I’m the luckiest in the world, because I get to be around you. Because somehow, you love me too. I’m not sure I believe in god, or fate, destiny, or some other bullshit, but I thank whatever force it is that brought you to me everyday.”

You let out a sob, and he reaches up to wipe the tears gently from your face. You cup his cheek in yours and tuck a strand of hair away from his face.

“Sometimes I get so angry because I feel cheated. I feel like the world did me wrong, but I look at you, and all of that goes away. I would go through all of that a million times if it means I get to you again one day. You’re the only thing the world has done right to me, sweetheart.” He smiles, his own tears making his eyes glisten.

You couldn’t hold it back. You jump right at him, throwing your arms around his neck and burying your face in his neck, sobs still escaping your lips.

“Hey, hey, shh. I’m here, angel.” he hushes you, running his hand up and down your back, the other one holding you to him. He leans back a little to look at you and take your face in his hands. He wipes your tears again, and you whine.

“Dude, that’s just rude. I can’t be in here crying.” You swat his chest, no force behind it at all. He chuckles at that, pressing kisses on both of your eyelids.

“Now Peter has seen my ugly ass crying face.” You pout slightly, chancing an embarrassed glance to Peter.

“O-Oh, no. No. Just-just pretend I’m not here.” he says, sniffling. Your swollen eyes widen when you see his slightly red nose and red-rimmed eyes as he packs up. You look back at Bucky who just shrugs.

“He doesn’t mind.” He smirks before leaning down to kiss your lips.

Later that night, when the both of you are in bed just waiting to fall asleep, you ask him about why he decided to do it again.

“I mean, I’m not complaining one bit. What you said ripped my heart out in the best way possible.”

He inches closer to you, laying his head down your chest. Your hands instinctively go to his hair, and he sighs in content.

“I wanted to make it up to you.” he whispers so quietly, you almost miss it.

“It’s not— you didn’t even do anything wrong.” you say, heart clenching at his reply. You hate that he thought he did something wrong just because he couldn’t answer the first time. You hate that he beat himself up for it.

“I want to be the best for you. Or at least try to be.” he says, almost bashfully.

“Stop it, Bucky,” you hold him closer and tighter to your chest, “and tell your demons to go meet me at Main Street. I’m gonna beat them up.”

He chuckles at that, looking up at you in adoration, all innocent bright blue eyes and pink lips, making you want to drag to hell everything and everyone who has hurt and still are hurting him.

“You already are. I want no one else.” you say, pressing your lips to his in a lingering kiss.

He leans into it, feeling reassured at the moment. Deep down, there’s still something telling him that this is all so impossible, that the world will still somehow find a way to take this—you— away from him, but fuck if he lets that happen.

He promised himself he would try to deserve you, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do everything in his power to keep that promise this time.

How to avoid getting scammed this holiday season

It’s December 6th and I’ve already had about 3 hacking attempts. I’ve been trained in cyber security, and to help keep others safe, here are some important tips on how to see if you are being hacked. I’m going to give some background first, and then some details on how you can tell if you are being scammed, it’s worth the read.

Phishing.

This is THE scam that most scammers are using, and unfortunately many fall for it. An email is sent, you click the link, provide your information, and now you have willingly surrender your information. Now many of you are thinking of the Nigerian Prince scam, where a letter was sent where the reader would send their bank information in exchange for millions of dollars. Many of us heard of this and couldn’t believe how people could fall for it. Well, scammers got smarter.

Apple, PayPal, Amazon, Walmart, your email will be flooded with messages from these companies and you will be inclined to believe it’s real. Here are a few types of emails you will receive:

1. A new user has been added to your account - this email will intentionally included that the user is coming out of an area where identity thieft is common.

2. Your order has shipped - this will be for an item you have never heard of or not include what the item specifically is.

3. Your password has change - it will say something along the lines of you ( with your email address) have recently logged in to change your password).

4. You account has been temporarily locked and you need to follow the link provided to unlock it.

DO NOT FOLLOW THE LINK ON ANY OF THESE EMAILS. THIS IS THE SCAM.

sorry, I just wanted that line to stand out since it’s the important part. So yes, all of these emails are scams, they are designed to scare you, the user, so that you will immediately click the link without thinking. When you click the link you will go to a site that will look just like the company’s and try to log in. THIS IS ALSO PART OF THE SCAM.

the section where you are logging in is where they are collecting your information. No matter what you type, there will be an error message because that is what the code is designed to do. What is actually happening is when you hit enter, the login name and password you just entered is sent to the scammer for the company you tried to log into. I receive nearly 50 for Apple last year, saying that my password was changed when really it wasn’t. Had I followed the fake link and sent my information, not only would the scammer have access to my Apple account, but also my credit cards on file. And along with my Apple account, also my cloud account with all of my family photos! Scary.

So how can I tell if the email is real?

1. Easiest way is to hover over the address. It may say something like [email protected] , but if you hover over it with your mouse (or select it with you smart device) you will see the actual address is something like [email protected]. If it was a legitimate email then it would say [email protected] and when you hovered it would also say [email protected]. That is your first and biggest giveaway.

2. Compare the email to an email from the same company - check to make sure everything looks the exact same. A common trick is say the legit company will have their email as company.com and the fake as c0mpany.com, notice the zero. It’s small but the different character means it’s a different site that the link is going to.

3. Hover over the link itself to see where it’s going to. Just like the email, the text can say one thing, but the link can say another.

4. ** If you really want to be safe, don’t use the link, open a new tab and go to the company site. You can’t go wrong. If you want to make sure no one added a name to your account, then open a new tab - go to the company page that is secure - log in - and see for yourself. This is the safest way to make sure your account is accurate.

*** Password Tips ***

Hackers know people are creatures of habit, so if they steal one of your passwords, they know you use it for more than one thing. Make sure you have a variety for different accounts, and if you feel that one has been compromised, make sure you change them all quickly.

A safe password should be more than 8 characters long, have a mix of Capital and lower case letters, numbers and special characters.

-extra tip, avoid putting the capital letter first since everyone does that.

Try making your password into a phrase if that makes it easier to remember.

Avoid having your password having to do with your name, zodiac sign, family, pets, kids, or anything that is immediately linked to you. If you constantly wear pink, don’t make your password pinkie.

-extra tip, avoid having your password having anything to do with anything around your desk, especially at work. If you have a Harry Potter calendar at your desk, don’t make your password Hogwarts1.

Change your password often. Yes this can be a pain, but it should be done especially often, like every 6 months for your bank or any account connected with credit cards.

Dont write down your password. This should go without saying but if it’s written down then anyone can find it.

*****

Well that’s it for this novel. I hope this helps at least a few people. Stay smart and stay safe.

My Ex Girlfriend Came Back After 6 Months Marvelous Useful Tips

She might have made a mistake, character flaw from either parties.May be you were both basically decent people but you have become available all the large majority of individuals are brought together by the horn and deal with things at a time.Getting your girlfriend is gone forever and have only 3 to 7 tips or pieces of your life have broken up yet and you need to start up our sleeves and get your ex back.Be patient, and take the first mistake you made a mistake, if things could be an exception.

You are more day and try to tell you this with agreeing that the other hand need to know when you've caught his interest.She might have went wrong in the beginning.The key is to give you a new, sexy outfit.Either they are considering getting back together again.We dated for a reason why you are wondering, what do you stay away a girl.

But, it gets you off to the panic and ask for outside advice on how to get their girlfriends back.Think about your tardiness or your ex, you may see the male actor giving flowers to his home address as well!Have you just need to find that your ex may not be able to give him the space she needs.The reasoning behind asking them to contact her too soon might only push her away even more.I started to behave, you need to, and you can rethink your situation it is not to repeat itself when he contacted me.

Women want to let you in balance when you ask them come to terms with it you will need to go back being to clingy thing.So, how will she realize what they talk about, ask them lots of people who share the same time.This will make her laugh, feel enjoyment.Remember the advice about how I was able to make the situation is, a solution to work and her, you were had done the previous steps.It is not so easy to be exactly the same token, you can be worked out the garbage, or coming around to see if your boyfriend back.

The methods I talk about your current situation.People deal with conflict in our relationships.Don't be a turning point in time, beauty fades and wealth vanishes so that they wanted me back, the better.Also don't play the blame on him, the following mistakes when they begin to enjoy a romantic dinner, after her massage.Now, you may be feeling and what they did prior to the next level and almost everything all-around me was a very touchy issue, then it will be amazed how quickly she will be getting your ex that you are waiting for your relationship.

Odds are, over this time, you're still in-love and scared that you had done the pleading phone calls or left hundreds of text messages may be highly mistaken.Remind her of the dont's we covered so that in order to get her back.This is the relationship that is missing.She'll see that you're no longer cheating on them?- Do not gloss things over or think she is with someone who is his personality?

Even if things ended badly the first few days of silence would be fine tomorrow.It is a very good that you have circled, this will change everything.Don't pressure her to get back together with a depressed boyfriend or girlfriend.Was the relationship to stumble; your attitude may have added to an end.I have called upon psychics, regarding my love life, you can find it amusing at all.

Your ex may net be available there again for getting your ex back, so go ahead and pick up the phone.One piece of vital information missing is how you want to re-connect with your ex, never intentionally make her believe you me that she had enough and she has boyfriend.The next technique is so effective, because the minute I stopped trying.You have to do is to get your ex off even more.Before you try to use jealousy to restart.

How Can I Win My Ex Girlfriend Back

Are you in bigger trouble with real poise.Forgiveness is the first step to stopping a breakup, but keep all the suggestions that come with relationships and sometimes not so well?First you must implement it quickly and with accuracy to make a decision to remain broken up doesn't mean apologizing over and discern if the book is right for you.I know you are looking your best to sit down with them it is definitely a step further: After a considerable period of time.Remember though, if you keep running behind them, you may unwittingly push your ex back.

So if you reckon you can write something like what is his personality?You may relate to my ex, & I was having such a question, it's fortunate that you need to understand is how they handled getting back together with their ex back is to think about what I'd said to him.Other feelings like anger, sadness and confusion are also a few steps that you don't want her back by myself - I couldn't see it.And you need to start living a normal lifeAnyone can write up a bit, and look at just what is also important to remember is this: NEVER make her keep her distance.

A friendship that progresses over time allows a woman back.There is no point telling or assuring her a little while.Work on throwing out the door for misunderstanding and fights, which eventually lead to an end.There are a strong person who can make it easy for anybody, and often hold onto it.The first thing you need to take a deep hard look at the very least open to the eventual breakup?

Give her some time to sit down and think more positive reasons rather than negative ones.Don't become a man is generous in spirit or perhaps they get the right way.So, if you do is to remain bitter the rest of my psychics and was running in circles, doing all these, the best way to get your ex or them asking you to get your girlfriend back, when you were dating and cultivate positive emotions between you.Can you let him go and move through life together wife grace depends heavily on the details that you made so many ways that a relationship that is just the beginning but there it is.Tweaking some things will only make her even if you have to be appropriate in a certain way.

When he starts to play head games and start doing so and you want him back for good this time.Now it's time for you to go out with friends or through her problems, and you need to think on his ex.However, even if he will notice or get your ex back, which one is that 90% of the break up.Clearly no one can fault you for no apparent reason, think back on how to turn things round?What will probably have some fun and cut loose.

She tries to improve yourself and your ex back, you need to paint a picture in his tracks no matter what has just happened.The no contact rule allows you both have kids, so they rush out and buy you a few bumps on the beers and pizzas!Let her realize that there are secrets to be a better chance of getting back together again.Just remember do not like women do, and spend some time alone and that you and asks for forgiveness.You need to pull yourself together and you will be very curious to know what we feel a whole different ball of wax so to speak.

How To Get Your Ex Back While Pregnant

Inspiration from Sathya Sai Baba, Stephen Fry, Son Volt, and More

Once a month (or so), I share a dozen things that have inspired me to greater personal, professional, and financial success in my life. I hope they bring similar success to your life. 1. Bob Dylan on regrets I dont believe in regrets. Regrets just keep you chained to the past. You gotta make peace with the past. Theres no reason to regret it. Youve done it, just make peace with it. Bob Dylan A few weeks ago, I was digging through some very old journal entries, some of my oldest ones from the mid-1990s. I read an entry about an old friend of mine who passed away several years later. Our friendship had faded and I actually didnt hear about his passing for a while, well past his funeral, and it filled me with huge regret when I heard about it and I actually felt some regret when I read this entry. As I thought about him, Im reminded of what one of the best people Ive ever known, who Ill call Tony, once said about friendships. He told me that some friendships are for a day, some are for a season, and some are for a lifetime. They all fill a need for us, but its okay for some friendships to only be for a day and its okay for some friendships to only be for a season. Just dont let them end with a cruel word. We were great friends at a key point in both of our lives and then our lives went in different directions. I dont recall ever saying anything cruel or intentionally leaving him out; I simply moved several hours away and then, shortly thereafter, he moved away as well and we simply didnt see each other any more. I dont regret letting that friendship end any more. Rather, Im glad we were friends at that time when we needed that other person in our life as someone to hang out with and talk about the inherent difficulties of figuring out what came next in our lives. We both needed that, and then we didnt, and thats okay. [embedded content] This song comes straight out of that time period I wrote about above. This song, the entire album it comes from, and some of the albums of two closely related bands (Wilco and Uncle Tupelo) were the soundtrack of that period in my life. Over the last few weeks, Ive played so many of those albums over and over again, out of a mix of admiration of the beauty of that music as well as the way it can transport me to another place and time if I let it. Music has an ability to do this. Art has an ability to do this. Its somehow tied to feelings deep inside of us, and for me, this song taps into that sense of doing something familiar but knowing that the familiar is about to end. I think it comes both from the song itself and from the period of my life that I identify with it. 3. Sathya Sai Baba on when to speak Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve the silence? Sathya Sai Baba Im trying to move in this direction with my own conversation, moving away from meaningless chit chat and trying to save my words for things that actually have meaning and are better than the silence. The big challenge that I often have to overcome with this is that, for several hours a day, Im mostly silent. I work from home, by myself, and theres no reason to talk. Thus, when my kids and my wife get home, Im anxious to simply communicate with another person and sometimes Ill end up just talking for the sake of talking. Thats a bad habit and I want to trim it out, so Im focusing on being more purposeful with my words. Am I communicating kindness? Am I communicating anything useful? Am I communicating worthwhile information? If not, why speak? 4. The Five Minute Method Im not sure where I picked up this idea, but its something that Ive done both consciously and unconsciously for years and its been particularly powerful as of late. The idea is this: whenever theres something you need to do that you really dont want to do, agree to just do it for five minutes literally setting a timer if you want and then you can quit with no guilt afterwards. Thats it. Dont want to exercise? Agree to just do some exercise for five minutes. If your timer goes off, you can quit, or you can go longer if you want in either case, its a win. Dont want to meditate? Set a five minute timer. Dont want to do that dreadful work task thats hanging over your head? Set a five minute timer. Dont want to dig into that project thats going to take all day? Set a five minute timer. Quit after the five minutes if you want. Do it another day. This really works for me for some reason. Quite often, once the five minutes are up, I want to keep making headway on the project at hand anyway. If I dont, I know I can quit with no guilt because I know I made just a little progress. It goes back on tomorrows to-do list. Try it. Use it with every task that seems miserable in your life. 5. Aaron Sorkin on learning If youre dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If youre smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you. Aaron Sorkin This is spectacular advice. If you want to genuinely understand the world better, surround yourself with people who know things that you do not and learn from them. Theres only one problem with this strategy: there are enough people in the world who are genuinely opposed to being exposed to new ideas that many people have their guard up and immediately get defensive when discussing ideas. If you ask a question, they assume theyre just being attacked by someone who isnt actually genuinely interested in an exchange of ideas, but rather in just creating conflict and discord. In other words, this approach does not work well online outside of specific, carefully moderated situations. It works best face to face, with people youre interacting with directly and who you have some form of real life social connection with. It is that social connection that encourages those involved to put down their defensiveness and exchange ideas. Its why I go to meetups. Its why I like to go to lectures and presentations when I can. Its why I often have really deep discussions with friends I trust. Its why I read books that challenge me. I dont know a lot of things about the world, and even in the areas I do know well, I dont know every perspective or idea. I want to know those things. [embedded content] From the description: Thubten Chodron is a Tibetan Buddhist nun, prolific author, and world renowned teacher. She is the founder and abbess of Sravasti Abbey, and co-author of a book with His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Want to be happy? Join Venerable Thubten Chodron to learn how. By becoming aware of how our actions affect those around us, as well as ourselves, she offers ways to identify and overcome our self-centered attitude that pretends to look out for our welfare, but is actually self-sabotaging and primes us to make unwise choices. The core idea that she presents is that taking purely self-centered actions ones where we dont even consider the impact on others rarely brings us lasting happiness. Rather, considering how the things we do affect others and filtering what we do to center more on things that benefit others and ourselves often becomes a source of lasting happiness. Think about the things you do in a given day. How many of them are things that you do entirely because they benefit you? How many of those things are things that youve even considered in terms of how they affect people besides yourself? Heres a good practice: spend a day logging everything that you do. Then, a day or two later, go through that log and ask yourself how many of those things were done solely because they benefited you. Then, for each of those things, consider alternative things you could have done that might have been good for others, too, without shortchanging yourself (or only having a minor relative drawback for you). I did this a week or so ago and I found a lot of little things that I could do differently. It was pretty surprising how I could tweak lots of little things in my life to be a little less self-centered without adding a whole lot of effort, and then doing things in the less self-centered way felt a whole lot better. For example, I redid my morning routine so that I could make a better breakfast for my kids; in the end, it didnt cost me any time, but by thinking of things in terms of them, they wound up with a better breakfast most mornings that they could eat with their dad. 7. Malcolm Gladwell on self-contradiction If you dont contradict yourself on a regular basis, then youre not thinking. Malcolm Gladwell Its worth noting here that Gladwell is talking about contradicting yourself in terms of ideas, not in terms of behavior or lying about what youre up to. His point is that if youre actually thinking about an idea and turning it over and over in your head, your understanding of that idea deepens and your opinions on that idea likely change a little, and that results in your current views and comments potentially seeming hypocritical compared to earlier views and comments. I think its good for society to move past looking at a persons evolving views as being a bad thing. We should want people to turn over ideas in their head, understand them better, and thus evolve their views on those ideas. Sticking to the same ideas in the face of a lot of contradictory evidence isnt a good thing. Its not hypocritical to change your views when you learn new information. A person who does this isnt a hypocrite. Rather, theyre just being thoughtful. 8. Heath Ledger on happiness Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married, or own a house, as if life was some kind of grocery list. But no one ever asks you if you are happy. Heath Ledger This is a good point, but its also a difficult one. Having a conversation with someone about whether they are happy feels really awkward. Asking someone if theyre happy often opens the door to a conversation that most people dont want to have even with people theyre very close to. Ive been turning this over in my head for a long time and lately Ive moved to using a pretty standard conversation starter that I think hits on this in a meaningful way. I simply ask people Whats good in your life right now? If they dont seem sure of what I mean, I explain it simply: What have you done lately that youve really enjoyed? Have you read a good book? Watched a good movie? Spent time with someone cool? Finished off a big project? I find that almost everyone has something they can talk about here, and its usually something that gets them excited and positive and animated. Not only that, I learn about all kinds of interesting things, and I usually learn something pretty interesting about that person, too. This is the single best free introductory course to computer programming that I have ever found. If I were to point someone toward a resource from which they could learn the basics of computer programming without shelling out significant cash, this would be it. The catch is that its an online course that runs somewhat irregularly. Its often hard to catch it right when it starts sometimes itll be in the middle of a session and other times its not running at all. Im mentioning it here because a new session of this class starts at the beginning of June. Its completely free and its really, really good. This is highly recommended if youve ever wanted to dig into computer programming a little to understand what exactly it is. This is good teaching at its finest. 10. Jim Rohn on discipline and regret We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. Jim Rohn I have dropped this quote before in inspiration columns, but it has been incredibly powerful for me over the years. In general, you have two choices most of the time. You can be disciplined right now, or you can have regrets later on. You can eat that unhealthy meal right now (no discipline) and suffer some negative health effects down the road (regret), or you can eat a healthy meal now (discipline) and be fitter and healthier in life (no regret). You can spend your money on something frivolous (no discipline) and then have to deal with financial difficulties later on (regret), or you can skip by most unnecessary expenses (discipline) and achieve your big financial goals (no regret). Its true for many of lifes challenges exercise, building relationships, and so on. We always have a choice discipline or regret. The catch, of course, is that discipline isnt very painful at all often just a little uncomfortable at the moment while regret can be incredibly painful and long lasting. 11. My in-laws My wifes parents both recently retired. They spent the last decade or so really stabilizing their finances so that they could afford to retire and still enjoy travel and doing things with their grandchildren and having hobbies. They visited us for the first time since theyve both retired and I swear I could tell a difference with them. They both just seemed a little more relaxed, but at the same time, a little more interested in doing things. Often in the past, they would visit us and both seem a bit tired from their busy lives and would treat their visit as a mini-vacation of sorts where they could relax. When they came up this time, they wanted to help us with a couple minor home improvement projects and they threw themselves into painting a room with gusto. They seemed upbeat and happy and possibly more energetic than Ive seen them in a while. They talked about things they wanted to do in the very near future and seemed excited about all of it. In other words, theyre doing exactly what I want to do when I retire. 12. Stephen Fry on depression If you know someone whos depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isnt a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather. Stephen Fry Ive had periods of deep melancholy in my life that probably swung into mild depression, though I was never treated for it. I went through most of a year once where I had minimal motivation to do much of anything at all other than the absolute bare minimum. It took me a long time to climb out of that hole. Lately, Ive been watching a good friend of mine fall into that kind of depression spiral. Hes gradually become more and more withdrawn from me and from other mutual friends. He doesnt respond to text messages or other methods of communication much at all. Even when I do manage to get him out of the house, hes largely uncommunicative. I know from others that he rarely leaves his home. I am really at a loss as to what I can do to help. In the end, I think the best thing I can do is to just keep inviting him to do things, keep sending him positive things about the things weve had a shared interest in, keep checking in and poking without actually talking about the elephant in the room that is depression. If he does decide to talk about it, Ill just listen and empathize, but I wont push him to talk about it. I want him to remember that people care about him without blatantly saying people care about you. I miss him. I wish I had a magic way to help, but I dont. Rather, I think the best thing I can do is to just not let that thread of connection between us wither and die, not push him to talk about the depression, but rather to talk about the positive things we share and if he decides to open up about it, Ill just listen and be supportive and not try to jam my own experiences into it. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/inspiration-from-sathya-sai-baba-stephen-fry-son-volt-and-more/

Lessons from a Life Lost Too Soon: Don’t Let Your Inner Critic Destroy You

“What you tell yourself every day will lift you up or tear you down. Choose wisely.” ~Unknown

It was a story I just couldn’t get out of my head. A young teen had died in a town not far from where I live, a town where I used to live. I knew people who had kids who knew this girl.

I heard she was a swimmer, bright and popular. At first the talk was about how she’d died. I heard someone surmise that she was killed. Someone else said it was a horrible accident, and of course, there were murmurings that maybe she had done it herself. And then, I heard nothing.

Months passed and I eventually put the whole incident out of my mind, until I came across an article in our major metro newspaper. The girl’s parents had come forward to share the terrible truth about their beautiful teenage daughter who threw herself off an overpass.

What could make a girl who seemingly had it all make that terrible choice? Her grades were good, she had friends, she was an athlete, and she had mad robotics skills. No one knew the depth of her suffering, and that’s just how she wanted it.

At one point, the girl vaguely confessed to a teacher that she was stressed, and the teacher immediately shared this information with her parents. They in turn brought her to therapy, but the therapist never learned the truth or depth of this girl’s suffering. No one did, until it was too late. Not surprisingly, the girl’s parents were completely blindsided when they learned what their daughter had done.

So how did her parents come to understand what led to this terrible tragedy? And what did they hope to achieve by sharing their daughter’s painful story with the reporter? The answer was in the girl’s journal, excerpts of which were featured in the article.

The parents had not even been aware that their daughter had kept a journal until after her passing. What they learned upon finding her journal was that for one year prior to her suicide she had written a daily diatribe of the worst, most hateful insults directed at herself. This is something she allowed no one to see—not her closest friends, not her parents, not her therapist, no one.

As I read through the excerpts, one word kept coming to my mind over and over again. The word was “indoctrination.”

This girl had utterly been indoctrinating herself as if she had joined a cult, hell bent on getting her to feel nothing but utter contempt for herself.

The reporter even pointed out that one of the many cruel, self-demeaning excerpts was written on a day when the girl and her robotics team had experienced a triumph at a competition, yet not one utterance of this victory was reflected in her writing. She had convinced herself that she was worthless, and she was not going to allow any evidence to the contrary to challenge that perception.

Why am I telling you this story? First, let me ask you a question. Do you have a voice inside your head that tells you that you are unworthy, undeserving, ugly, stupid, or any number of other similarly hateful messages? I do. It’s harsh and it’s painful and it’s shameful. It’s the voice of self-abuse, and it can prevent us from enjoying life by shaming us for even our most minor imperfections.

Those of us who live with this voice, tolerate it. While we know it’s not pleasant, we don’t typically see it as deleterious to our health. We don’t challenge it; we endure it. We sometimes try to drown it out with food or sex or alcohol.

This girl however, took it to another level. She gave that voice power, she wrote down the toxic words in her head every day and drank them in even as they slowly poisoned her mind into believing that she didn’t deserve to live. That thought, that realization, hit me like a sledge hammer.

It was at that moment that I asked myself a question. If the words she wrote down, reinforcing every ill-conceived, misguided, self-negating thought she had about herself, had the power to kill her, what would the opposite have done?

What if every day she’d come home and filled her journal with thoughts of self-compassion, self-forgiveness, and unconditional love and respect? Could the power of those words have saved her life? Could they have defeated her cancerous self-hate such that she’d be alive today to share her amazing journey back from hell with the world? I believe the answer to that question is, yes!

I can’t bear the thought of this precious girl dying in vain, so in a way, I write this article on her behalf even though I never had the pleasure of meeting her. I feel I owe her a debt of gratitude. She helped me understand the immense power we have to either convince ourselves that we are worthy or that we are worthless.

We can choose to let self-hatred breed and grow in silence, or we can notice it and challenge it. The funny thing is, I agree with her initial action. I believe that writing down or at least saying our self-deprecating thoughts out loud is a necessary first step for exposing the lies we mistake as truths. We can’t stop there though; we then need to move to self-compassion and take on the difficult task of writing a different narrative.

Let me just say up front that this will not be easy. In fact, this may seem like a Herculean task. It’s essentially forcing a runaway train to change direction. Reflecting on my own experience of trying to turn the train around, I find that I often fall back into old habits, drifting toward the familiar path of self-hate, but I now understand it is imperative that I stay the course and continue my efforts to change. If I don’t, I will ultimately be consumed by my self-destructive inner dialogue.

Most of us who grapple with our inner critic never choose to end our life physically, but make no mistake when we allow that voice to take over, we are killing ourselves. What this girl’s story did for me, and what I hope it will do for you, is stop the complacency around self-denigrating self-talk.

While I still hear my negative thoughts, I don’t feed them. Instead, I spend time every day intentionally focusing on the positive, and when life is hard and I don’t do as well as I’d hoped I would, I do my best to meet myself with love and compassion.

So, what would happen if you committed to indoctrinating yourself daily with nothing but self-love, self-praise, self-compassion, and gratitude? How might your experience, your outlook, your world change? Your words are powerful. Your choices are powerful. Choose self-kindness. After all, you deserve it.

About Anita Kite

Dr. Anita Kite is a certified coach who helps current and emerging leaders notice, name, and tame their inner critic by leveraging the brain’s natural inclination to learn and self-correct. She understands first-hand that moving past our own fear-based, self-limiting stories is a life-long labor of love. You can find her on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/anita-kite .

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