#i don't recommend it though. i really cannot *not* recommend it enough lmao
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Personal rambling under the cut because I feel the need to share this absurdity, feel free to ignore XD
I met and spoke with my mother yesterday for the first time in almost four years, to talk about why my sister and I have cut both our parents off (i.e. emotional abuse and neglect throughout childhood that has resulted for both of us in severe trust issues, c-ptsd, eating disorders, depression, ocd, suicidal ideation/attempts, anxiety, and emotional and social stunting, to name but a few things), and, as an example because she asked for one, I brought up the fact that she and our dad kept sis housebound (she literally did not go outside for like, eight years?) and crippled by her dependence on them that they cultivated, and that the first time sis used any kind of public transportation alone was at the age of 26.
Mom's response: So taking the bus by herself as a child would have fixed everything?
Me:
#the only reason i agreed to meet and talk was because she's been harassing my uncle about it#and he's been so supportive of us so i felt obligated; if it'll get her to back off of him even a little#but like. literally every conversation ever has been like this#doesn't matter if it's just about like. idk. the weather. or a 'good morning' lol. she'll find a way to take offense#me: talks about her dismissal of us as being individuals of our own outside of just being her children and the lack of privacy#mom: why because i asked you to clean your rooms?#me: dontreactdontreactdontreactdontreact#luckily i have an excellent poker face and can fake being the most unaffected bitch really well XD#and then people tell me i have a very intuitive grasp and handling of ze//nos or mai//ron or il//lumi#it's called 35 years of personal experience ✌️#i don't recommend it though. i really cannot *not* recommend it enough lmao#much better to just experience it through fiction#withoutwords
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No Duolingo, no problem
Jere Pöyhönen / Käärijä x Fem! Reader
Summary: You moved to Finland a few weeks ago and can't seem to feel at home: you're starting at a new job, you don't understand the language, you're kind of going through a break up... One tired and cold evening you head into the first bar you can find and briefly meet a cute guy you can't stop thinking about for the next few weeks. You try to forget about him, but when you go back to the same bar for some random gig your coworkers have invited you to go to, you find him again. [This takes place way before Eurovision]
Word count: 5.9k
Warnings: English isn't my first language and I got a little lazy mid writing. Also they smoke a vape oops (seriously now don't do it it's shit for your health). Maybe smut implications at the end?
A/N: I didn't know what to name this lmao. I cannot believe I wrote fanficiton for the first time in YEARS because I fell in love with a Finnish guy after watching Eurovision. Anyway, I noticed an enormous shortage of Jere fics and decided to risk my final exams to serve the people. I hope it's worth it! Also apologies if the Finnish translation is shit I used a random website for it lol
Glossary:
"Anteeksi, pudotit takkisi" -> "Sorry, you dropped your coat"
"Jere, istuimme takapöydässä" -> "Jere, we are sitting at the back table"
"Olen tulossa" -> "I'm on my way"
"Hetkinen, kiitos!" -> "One moment, please!"
"Jere, sinun vuorosi on kymmenen minuutin kuluttua" -> "Jere, you're on in ten minutes"
"Minä menen nyt" -> "Coming"
"Hei kaikille, miten meillä menee tänään?" -> "Hi everyone, how are we doing today?"
"Kiitos, Mikko, arvostan sitä todella" -> "Thank you, Mikko, I really appreciate it"
"Miten uskallat tulla tänne?" -> "How dare she come here?"
"Meidän on hyödynnettävä sitä" -> "We'll have to make use of it"
"Mikä on sana?" -> "What's the word?"
...
It was cold. Hell, it was colder than she could have ever imagined before coming here. Sure, she had checked the country's temperatures before moving, researched online about what to expect for someone who was used to easy winters, had bought the fuzzy-fur-on-the-inside-boots and the heavy jacket and all that was recommended to face the never-ending snowing. But still, it somehow hadn't been enough.
A job offer and the need to find some new purpose to latch onto had led (Y/N) here. Now three weeks in, with no friends and hardly a place to call her home had helped regret start to settle in. So many things felt out of her control: the way her colleagues seemed to think she was a mess, the cashiers at the supermarket sighing because she still didn't understand the language, everyone from her hometown rolling their eyes when she announced she was leaving in a way that meant you're not gonna make it.
Yet being thrown outside her comfort zone, and being forced to move on however she could manage, made her feel at least some kind of thrive. Which was far more than she had back home.
As she walked down the street for some place to find shelter in, hands shaking and breaths almost uneven, a neon sign caught her attention. Even though she couldn't figure out the name, it looked like a pretty okay bar. She didn't need much convincing anyway; anything would do to get out of this freezing gale. She made her way in.
The warmth was a instant relief. Stripping down from the many layers of upper clothes, she took a quick glance to check the place out. Not many people, which was fair for a Wednesday evening. There was low music playing, mild chatter and a bunch of people sitting alone in the stools, which was a relief. At least she wouldn't be the only one.
As she ordered a beer (one of the few phrases she had made sure to master) she felt her hands come alive again. The beverage came along and she took a long, much anticipated sip. It tasted significantly different from the brands she was used to, but it was just fine. Alcohol is alcohol.
Finally feeling at ease, she took her phone out and started mindlessly scrolling through social media to kill some time. It was still early in the evening since she had just gotten out from work. An extra challenging day is what had led her to wander outside for a bit instead of heading back to the dull apartment she hadn't even been able to decorate yet. Going home right after would've led her to start overthinking if this job was even right for her, if she had gone crazy by moving hundreds of kilometres away from what she's always known, if her ex-girlfriend had been right when she accused her of being too impulsive, if it would be such a bad thing to give it up already and leave—
"Anteeksi, pudotit takkisi", she heard a voice say behind her.
When she turned around to give her "sorry I still don't speak Finnish" speech, she was met with a blue-eyed, dark-haired, funky but sweet looking guy holding her jacket, which she now understood had fallen to the floor. It caught her by surprise that she somehow forgot how to speak for a brief moment.
"Oh! Thank you, I hadn't noticed it was on the floor" she ended up answering, taking the jacket back as the man handed it to her with a confused look in his eyes. "Sorry, I'm not from here. I don't speak Finnish yet" she added with a small chuckle.
"No, don't worry, Finnish, uh- hard language to learn" he answered through an amusing smile, with a thick accent and a clear struggle to speak English.
She half laughed at his answer. Until now, people hadn't been so kind about the language-barrier impediment. "Yes, it is a little bit", she followed, now taking in his appearance.
Painted nails. Double nose piercings. Earrings. Facial hair. A bowl cut? Interesting choice, but it suited him surprisingly well. Her brain decided through that brief examination: he was cute. Attractively cute.
"You can try Duolingo. I use for my English, but don't work very very well" the man said the second part more as a correction to himself, making both of them laugh from the random half advice. He tried to fix it: "Maybe for you works better".
"Maybe. I'll check it out. Thank you again" her response was going to be followed by an invitation for him to sit down with her, as she felt a sudden wave of boldness: I need to make some friends in this town or else I'll go crazy. But a group of three other guys that had come in after him caught her stranger's attention.
"Jere, istuimme takapöydässä", one of them said to him, while walking to a table at the back corner of the bar.
"Olen tulossa" he turned around to answer, then looked at her once more, "I go now with my friends. Enjoy your beer" he smiled and small-waved goodbye, as she copied his gesture. "Enjoy your evening".
That small interaction was enough for her to spend the next half hour looking up from her phone, which she had retreated to, to glance at him from time to time. His group of friends and him seemed to be having a good time, and she enjoyed the view of him. He looked like a very interesting person, too, and if she was being honest, she hadn't been struck by someone new in quite some time. Not by her neighbors, not by the people she was starting to coincide with at the grocery shop, not even by her co-workers.
She noticed him looking at her from time to time as well.
When her glass was empty and just as the clock on her phone struck seven, she got up and got prepared to face the freezing wind once again. At least it wasn't that long of a walk to her place.
She lingered for a moment before exiting the bar, then finally did so while warning herself not to get too caught up on the nice stranger she suddenly felt she was leaving behind. It was just a one minute interaction. You probably won't see him again. Quit this teenager act. Focus on the important tasks ahead of you.
It was already pitch black outside, snow accumulated on the sidewalks, the air was even colder than before.
Excitement started to bubble up in the pit of her stomach.
...
Two weeks had gone by and although she had been meaning to return to the bar, she just hadn't find the time to do so. Once the job's training period ended, the hectic rythm started. In her free time, when she wasn't taking care of the house or just resting, she was trying to find some language academy where she could actually properly learn Finnish. Cute guy had been right: Duolingo just didn't do the trick.
She had hoped he would appear around the neighborhood, that maybe he lived nearby. But there had been no luck. It was fine, though. She knew she would let go of it rather quickly at that point, it's not like she had been thinking about his addictive smile or pretty eyes or soft-looking hands. Not at all.
It was Friday, and some acquaintances from work she had managed to pull off had invited her to a small gig. She didn't even remember the musician's name nor did she know where it was going to be, but nevertheless she was happy to go and actually get to have some fun with other people. Who knows, cute guy might even be there.
She didn't even realize they were headed to the bar until they were right in front of it. Inside, a small stage platform had been set up and tables and chairs had been removed to make space for the audience. It wasn't very spacey anyway, the place could hold about a hundred people squeezed together tops.
"Huh, hadn't even thought of this place as a venue" she let her thoughts trail out loud.
"Have you been here before?" her coworker Aubrey, who she had slightly bonded with because she was also a foreigner, asked her. "Only once" the girl explained, already searching for a certain someone's face in the crowd. "So, who have you brought me to see tonight?" she asked, in the hopes of at least getting some conversation non-work related flowing. "I don't really know, coming here was Mikko's idea. He's always trying to get us into these weird small rap-rock Finnish bands, and listen, I've lived here for over a year now and I still don't really get the hype" Aubrey explained making both of them laugh "But it always ends up being fun when we go out" she added.
The rest of the group had moved forward to get a good spot near the humble stage, as Mikko babbled on and on about nonsense the two women couldn't figure out from the distance. "Hey, I'm going to the bathroom real quick. Mind saving me a place?" (Y/N) asked her colleague, who answered affirmatively.
She made her way through the crowd in between "excuse me's" and "sorry's" but got there with quite ease. One of the two toilet doors had a sign that read "Out of order", so she knocked on the one that was left to check if anyone was inside. A voice that sounded vaguely familiar came from the other side: "Hetkinen, kiitos!"
Nervousness suddenly struck her. Is this who I think it is?
When the door opened there was no doubt. Cute stranger was standing in front of her.
"Oh! Hello" he blurted out just as he saw her, sounding surprised. Today he was wearing eye makeup and bottom eyeliner, which suited him very, very well. He has such a pretty face.
She realized now she had not been able to get over this guy in the two weeks of not seeing him, even though she didn't even know his name.
"Hi" was all she could manage to say. She had been looking for him when she entered the bar but she was convinced he was not actually going to be there, "It's good to see you!" she added, as a way of avoiding an awkward silence.
"You as well. You, uh, you come to... concert?" he inquired, struggling to find the last word while pointing towards the direction where the stage was to make sure he was being understood.
She noticed he was wearing an all yellow outfit that consisted of corduroy pants and a button up. He looks good in it.
"Yes, some work friends brought me here. But if I'm being honest I don't even know who's playing" she confessed, slightly covering her mouth with one of her hands to joke around, as if she had spilled a dark secret. Stranger burst out laughing. His laugh was cute. "Do you know if he's good? I wanna know if I'll be wasting my time or not" she asked him, pretending to be a diva to keep his laugh going.
He had his arms crossed and his tongue between his teeth as he slightly giggled. "No, I think he's pretty ok. I think you will like, even if no understand" his answer was playful and accompanied with another small laugh. She continued joking around, this time putting her hands up in pretend self defense "Hey, I'll try my best. Maybe using Duolingo for two days actually did something" she shot back, realizing after saying those words that she had just told Mr. Stranger she had followed his advice.
He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head playfully "You did what I say to you" he stated. "Yes, but you were right. It's not really helpful. Now I just keep getting emails from the goddamn owl and feel scared that he's going to find me and kill me for not going back to the app" she explained exaggeratedly, which made their giggles grow bigger and even he bent his knees with laughter.
Their little chit-chatting was cut when a man who looked like he had been searching for someone stopped in his tracks at the beginning of the bathroom hall and shouted at them: "Jere, sinun vuorosi on kymmenen minuutin kuluttua". She turned around to look at the source of the voice and then back at stranger when he answered "Minä menen nyt". She wished she knew what they were saying, but she assumed it had just been his friend telling him to hurry up. Also, was Jere his name? She had heard it two times already.
"Someone's always calling out for you", she commented when they were left alone again. "It's because me popular, yes yes" he joked, putting a hand to his chest and shrugging. "Listen, I go now. Concert starting soon" he explained, pointing out to the stage's direction once again "I see you there?" he asked, eyebrows raised as he put a hand to her shoulder, looking into her eyes. His blue ones had her mind going blank for a moment. That seemed to happen a lot when he was around. "Uh- yeah, sure, see you there". He smiled again then moved past her to return to the hall. She stared at him leave as she opened the door to the bathroom and finally went inside, smiling to herself and biting her bottom lip.
She hurried back once she was finished not only in fear of missing out the start of the concert, but more so in fear of not finding him again. Aubrey raised her hand to catch her attention and she followed the lead back to the group. The place was packed, it was hot, and there was a lot of chatter going on.
"What took you so long?", Aubrey asked as she got to her side, just in front of the stage, "They're about to start". (Y/N) was standing on her tiptoes and turning her head in all directions. She had just talked to him and the bar was not that big: where the hell had he hid himself?
"There was a long line to the bathroom..." she started off distantly, then turned to face Aubrey "Hey, this is going to sound weird, but have you seen-" just when she was going to make the question, she noticed some people walking up to the stage and everyone started cheering.
As she looked up, she couldn't have been more dumbfounded.
It was him. Mr Stranger was the one performing tonight.
"Hei kaikille, miten meillä menee tänään?" he shouted out to the public, (Y/N) assumed as a way of greeting everyone. He took no time noticing she was right there, which made him grin even wider. "I see we have international people tonight. Good" he said while looking directly at her. She felt her coworkers eyes on her.
"Do you know him?" Aubrey whispered-shouted to her, "I- uh, no, yes? Briefly" she responded back as he continued on in Finnish. She remembered the question she had made him earlier and mentally facepalmed. This cheeky dude. Lying to her face just so he could later get her reaction.
Since there was no way of understanding what he said, she concentrated on what she could see. Two men behind him wearing pink shirts and shorts and sunglasses. A DJ table, no instruments. There was a sign hanging from the wall that read "Käärijä". Was that his artistic name? She was very intrigued by everything going on and wondered what genre he was going to play.
She had no idea what was coming.
As soon as he stopped talking and the music started playing, his demeanor changed. His stare became fiercer, his movements provocative and unleashed. He walked around the stage like he owned it, stared at the audience like he knew they would do whatever he asked them. Every beat before he started singing rumbled inside her, made her hold her breath in anticipation. She let it out once the words started to fall from his mouth.
The lyrics could have been shit for all she knew. His deep voice, the exotic pronunciation, the hard rapping from the boy who had seemed so sweet and wholesome but was now showing another side of him, the song's rhythm and tone. She was all in. So in, that her body started swaying to the sound almost like an automatic response, and jumped around alongside everyone else when the music demanded to do so.
"Ok, he's really good" she said to her coworkers as the crowd sung alongside him. "Mikko, you were right, he's really good" she insisted to the boy beside her, who was clearly enjoying himself. "I told you!" he answered amidst chanting, "Jere is my most talented friend". Oh, okay. Mental note taken.
As he performed his songs, (Y/N) couldn't help but admire the dedication Jere put on and the absolute fun he looked like he was having. Also, she realised he was at least kind of known around here, because people were singng alongside him.
The head banging, self touching, slightly undressing and sticking his tongue out only added more to his eclectic movements and gestures that made the show feel like a mix of energetic, passionate and, why deny it, lascivious state. Her eyes were glued to him in a capitative stare, that he would catch from time to time and hold for a few seconds. Then he would turn to his attention somewhere else, but a smirk would make a clear appearance on his face.
Whenever he finished a number, the loud clapping allowed him some time to take a sip of water. The clothes he was wearing and its material soon became unbearable, which lead him to take his shirt off completely. "Sorry, it is hot in here" he stated into the microphone pretending to excuse himself as a joke, as everyone in the room made a fuss about it. He was heavily sweating all over his face, neck and torso.
If she had previously been absorbed by him, at this point it was almost unbearable. She had not expected to see so much exposed flesh, and the pectoral tattoo nearly had her weak on her knees.
For some reason, freehing himself from his clothes somehow made him behave even wilder from then on out. He started getting closer to the front row, some even holding out their arms to interact with him, him receiving the gesture with no issue. The Fin looked so confident in what he was doing, it only made her feel even more attracted to him.
He moved so quickly (Y/N) didn't even have time to process when he positioned himself right in front of her, amidst performing a song, and full on stroked her cheek for a few lasting moments, all the while mainting direct eye contact. It was as if no one else had been around them, as if this instant had been theirs only. She didn't respond to the touch by touching him herself, since she couldn't find the strength to be as bold; but the breath hitching and swallowing saliva right after were a clear sign to Jere that he made her feel things. He would quite probably feel embarrassed about it later, but right now it made him feel close to powerful.
The whole gig ended on a high note, the applause was strong and lasting. (Y/N) clapped her hands so fast they even started hurting a little, and could understand through the noise that Jere was thanking everyone for coming out to see him. As he was about to exit the stage, some music started playing over the speakers as to signal that the performance was over and everyone could retreat to either leave the bar or get a drink and stay there for a longer while. As the people from the front row turned around and waited to have a chance to move, (Y/N) felt a hand on her shoulder.
Jere looked exhausted, but it also seemed like the whole night had riled him up. "You don't leave now?", he meant to ask, but came out more as a plead. She wouldn't even dream of doing so right now. "No, no, I'm staying" she rushed to answer. "Good. Wait for me?" he went on. She could only manage to nod her head yes. He smiled and quickly went "backstage" to freshen up.
"Okay, what the actual hell was that?" Aubrey took no time to pry her, "It did not look like knowing each other briefly". (Y/N) shrugged while putting her hands in the air and half laughing, not knowing how to beat those allegations.
"It's classic Jere. Finds a girl cute and cannot stop himself" Mikko chimed in, while grinning, "Now I understand, you must be the girl he saw a couple of weeks ago over here, right?"
"He's talked about me?" she said, a bit shocked, while Mikko lead the way for the three of them to go grab a drink. "Yes, well, now that I connect the dots, that evening you came here, it was a Wednesday, right? I came too, but it must've been after you left. When I arrived he was commenting it".
Some of the other coworkers were starting to leave, not without commenting the elephant in the room before grabbing the door. "You're gonna be the talk of the office now", Aubrey asserted, making Mikko laugh and (Y/N) grow redder by the minute. "I don't even- we haven't even talked that much, really. But watching him onstage was..." she trailed off, letting out a sigh and grabbing the drink Mikko offered her, thanking him in the process. "Yes, it's his special trait. That magnetism he holds is what's gonna get him places", he agreed.
"Okay, but does this whole act mean that he always does this? Like, does he take advantage of his concerts to mindlessly flirt with random people?" (Y/N) suddenly tried to rationalize the fast track of actions Jere was taking on with her. Sure, she liked him, and she really, really wanted to have some fun. Needed it, even. This bonding moment with Aubrey and Mikko right now, this non-work related, exciting chatter; the going out; as precipitating as it sounds she was starting to feel like she was finally making friends, establishing a life. But she also didn't want to be played around with.
"Ohhh, no, not necessarily" her coworker laughed, calming her down "Käärijä the performer is seductive, provocative, even uncontrollable" he took a sip from his drink, "But Jere the person is another story. Dude wouldn't even hurt a fly, I mean it" he reassured her. He then was about to say something else, but stopped on his tracks when they all noticed the man of the hour and the tow men who had performed with him coming over to them. However, he quickly commented to the girls the following before Jere could hear them: "If anything, he's the one who has been played around with".
Jere approached Mikko first, going in for a hug, which made total sense given the fact that they were friends. (Y/N) appreciated it, because his last comment had caught her by surprise. He had changed into some track pants and graphic loose t-shirt, and over all he already looked far more calmed down and back to his more, to put it some way, innocent self. Aubrey and (Y/N) exchanged a look before introducing themselves to the guys in pink, who had not changed their outfits. Their names were Jaakko and Aleksi.
"Hey, I recognize you. You were all in the bar that day I was here" she said as a realization. "Yes, we were planning tonight" Aleksi answered, "Did you like it?" he added, to both her and Aubrey.
While the four of them engaged in small talk, the girls understood that Mikko was congratulating his friend on his performance and Jere was thanking him, "Kiitos, Mikko, arvostan sitä todella", he said with appreciation on his face, closed smile and big puppy eyes (Y/N) couldn't ignore. With one last ruffle on his hair from Mikko, the two men stayed with one arm over the other's back and turned to the group.
"Alright, let's talk in English now so we can all understand each other..." Mikko started off. "I see you guys have already introduced yourselves, very good. Now let me introduce you girls to Käärijä himself, although maybe a certain someone doesn't need it" he playfully remarked, making Jere look away while hiding his face and (Y/N) roll her eyes. "Jere, these are (Y/N) and Aubrey from work. Aubrey, (Y/N), this is Jere" he played around using a formal tone and letting out of their embrace.
"Nice to meet you" Aubrey answered, shaking hands with him and gently pushing (Y/N) forward once she was done to signal her to do so as well.
"I finally know your name" he commented, making her chuckle, "Yes, I guess you do". Mikko and Aubrey swiftly moved to give them some space, going over to Jaakko and Aleksi, who were all in in the same unspoken plan.
"You like the show?" he seemed a bit nervous as he rested his elbow on the counter and signaled the waiter to get him a drink, while attentively listening to her answer, "Honestly, I'd never been to one quite like this. I mean, I've been to rock concerts and such, but this energy you guys put on stage was totally new for me. I really enjoyed it tho, you're really good" she sincerely said.
"Oh, thank you, really" Jere put a hand to his chest as to show gratitude, "It was first concert after months of not doing", he further explained, "So means a lot all people who come here, yes. I'm so happy for this, I was worried if not work well". He sounded so humble (Y/N) couldn't help but grow to like his personality even more. She was curious to know why he hadn't played in a way, but also didn't want to intrude, so she opted for another response. "Well you should be. We all had a blast".
"You understand anything I sing?" he wondered with a perky smirk, before taking a sip from the beer that had just landed in front of him. "I didn't need to", she let it out without giving it a second thought, almost as if this was the only real answer she could give, which to her felt absolutely true. He was shocked by it and spilled some of the drink out, quickly catching the dripping by covering his mouth with a napkin.
"Ah, I make fool of me now, great!" he tried to cover up by playing down the incident. She couldn't stop laughing out loud, some people even noticing the whole scene between the two of them, specially Mikko and company who laughed as well from a distance, "That's what you get for lying to me before" she joked, but grabbed a napkin as well to clean his shirt up, softly patting it on his chest. "Sorry, I wanted to surprise" he justified. It was in that moment that she noticed they were almost the same height. When her gaze moved upward from the stain she was cleaning up, his stare was way closer than she had thought. He carried on talking.
"Also, before, I hope I not make you... uh-, mikä on sana epämukavalle?" he looked over at Mikko for help regarding a language inquire.
"Uncomfortable"
"Yes, that" Jere said, "I hope I not make you uncom... uncomfortable when I, you know-" he tried to explain himself, struggling with the pronunciation. He stroked his own cheek to interpret what he attempted to say. "Oh! No no, don't worry, it was- it was okay. I liked it, actually", his relief was evident after she assured him. He let out a nervous giggle.
Then, something caught his attention. His gaze had travelled to the door, past (Y/N), and what he saw made his face turn dead serious, although also sad. Mikko, Aleksi and Jaakko very quickly noticed what was happening. Aubrey and (Y/N) also turned around to check it out: a girl was standing by the entrance looking for someone with a worried expression.
"Miten uskallat tulla tänne?" Jaakko expressed angrily. The three men addressed Jere, who suddenly was a loss of words and course of action.
"Ex alert" Aubrey whispered to (Y/N) while sipping from her drink's straw. "They're asking him if he wants to go talk to her" she informed her friend, which (Y/N) was thankful for. It was really tiring to not catch anything on her own sometimes. While the four men were talking to each other, deciding what to do next, (Y/N) grabbed Jere's arm and everyone's attention fell on her. She just couldn't stop strongly empathizing with him because she had also recently been through a break up and knew how shitty it was. Jere seemed more at ease when she talked, "Are you okay? Do you want to get out of here?" he looked past her again, everyone following his direction and realizing his ex was coming over to them. "I do, please", "Then we're getting out of here", (Y/N) decided, "You guys coming?" she asked the rest. "No, you guys go on. We'll make sure she doesn't follow" Mikko stated, thankful for her determination.
They said rushed goodbyes and (Y/N) got ahold of his hand to guide him towards the door. When they walked past her, she tried to talk, but they were quick to get out.
As per usual, it was freezing. They started to wander off to anywhere.
...
"I'm sorry about having to go"
They had found a comfortable spot in a park overlooking the town's river and had settled there. They had walked for a while, him trying to talk about anything else but his ex.
"Don't sweat it. I fully understand" she comforted him, then took the vape he had previously offered to her and took a puff before continuing, "I got broken up with three months ago... I hate to admit it, but it's part of the reason I ended up deciding to move here", she explained. He listened to her attentively, with a stern face.
The night was silent over here. It was only the sound of the stream and their hushed voices
"Can I ask why the break up?" he inquired, not wanting to pry on too much. "Only if I can ask why the break up", she made him chuckle. "Yes, of course" he accepted.
"She said I was too impulsive and that she couldn't trust me to maintain a steady and stable relationship, because I couldn't even do that with my own life" she sighed after her explanation and rolled her eyes.
"Wow" Jere said, disapproving look on his face "Hard thing to say".
"Yes, but honestly, I don't hold a grudge anymore. She had her right to think that way too. I do so too sometimes" she admitted, handing back the electronic cigarette, since they were taking turns to smoke.
"That's shit" he commented, which made them both laugh, "But I understand, too. "My ex, Sofia, that's her name, she uh- said she not approve of music career" his gaze moved upfront, "She said It's either me or music, and I think she not like my answer" Jere let out a half-sad cackle, "This is all I ever wanted to do. I loved her, I feel like I still do a bit, you know? But..." he nodded negatively before finishing the sentence, "I need someone who give support. What I told you before, the not doing concerts? A part of it was because I got, uh, insecure".
Silence fell between them as they both got lost in their own thoughts for a brief moment.
"You know, for someone who claims to not be good at English, you can maintain quite a deep conversation" her words made him belly laugh again. He looked at her and handed the vape once more. "Don't need Duolingo for that" he referenced. He was about to speak again but cut himself. "You can go on, it's fine", his doe-like blue eyes seeped cherishment.
"Oh, I not know, talking about ex was not in my plans when being alone with a girl I like" he made her blush, "I just thinking that, you know, I'm almost... mikä on sana" he struggled again with the language "Thirty year old?" he doubted if he had said it right, and the girl nodded to indicate him he had, "Thirty year old, and when younger I thought Oh, I achieve my dreams at thirty, have the family, all that... You know? And... nothing of that" he described, "My songs, some say that. But you not understand, so..." he added jokingly to lighten the mood, erupting laughter from her.
"Hey, I'm trying really hard to find a place where I can learn Finnish! Give me a break..." she defended herself, while the giggling from both of them died down. "But, just so you know, most of us feel this way too. Having your life figured out at thirty? That only happens to the lucky ones, I can assure you" she saw his tired expression and put a hand to his shoulder, "And by the way, you're crazy talented. We were all mesmerized by your performance. You can get to whatever place you want to be, and if you don't, well... It won't be because of your fault".
They were once again looking in each other's eyes. His gaze travelled down to her mouth. They were sitting close to one another as to avoid the cold wind. Her heart beat faster. How come did she feel like he had known him for such a long time if this was practically their first ever proper conversation? Yet she couldn't fight it. She had seen so many sides of him in such a short amount of time; she swore she'd never been that much of a romantic but the alcohol, mixed with how vulnerable they both felt in that moment and the fact that she was finally feeling at ease after more than a month of such a big change in her life, probably did the trick.
"Can- can I...?" he started nervously, but was interrupted.
"Yes"
Their lips crashed, finally killing the anticipation. Her hands cupped his face and his ones settled on her waist. She felt his long eyelashes touch her face, his beard tickled her jaw and his hoop piercing was cold on her nose. (Y/N) enjoyed feeling all these parts of Jere on her. He truly was so pretty. And suddenly, she wanted to make sure he knew just how pretty he was and how much he deserved to know it. The wave of boldness she had had to ask him to sit down with her those two weeks ago, but had been interrupted, came back as a stronger force.
When they separated to catch their breath, (Y/N) kept his face close to hers. He was panting through a timid smile and hot red burned his cheeks. She noticed her face doing the same thing.
"My apartment is a five minute walk from here" she suggested.
"Meidän on hyödynnettävä sitä" he whispered, hands going up and down her sides, and the Finnish language had never sounded so seductive to her.
"I didn't catch that",
"You don't need to. I will show you".
#kaarija#jere poyhonen#eurovison 2023#eurovision#esc23#bojan cvjeticanin#kaarija x reader#käärijä x reader#jere x reader#jere pöyhönen#cha cha cha#finland was fucking robbed#finland is my winner#finland esc#justice for finland#käärijä#joker out
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ive been gone for like a bajillion years now but I'm back with a request. idk if your comfortable with this and if not just delete this or use this as a way to tell me and others but what if we got the mcyt with a reader with a taste in more explicit music? like it's so bad my playlist is so explicit but all the songs low-key be vibe. you don't have to be specific (you also don't even need to write this) but just like mcyt would be looking for some songs to play on the readers Spotify and all their playlists are just either songs full of cursing or just explicit topics lmao
once again, don't write this if you don't want to, either way your writing is chefs kiss
🎀 anon
hi 🎀!! missed you lol ; but sure I can do this! I listen to a lot of non family friendly shit too dw haha ; kept the cast short cause like idrk I lost ideas after a while (I think this'll be my new auto-cast but we'll see) ; I decided to make the music taste differ with each so yeah, hopefully I did this right idrk 😭🙏 I can't think of much music with actually like explicit topics for some reason so like idk man
MCYT ; expletive music
includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, maxggs & quackity
warnings ; language, sexual jokes
masterlist
TOMMYINNIT
you listen to rap/hip hop/rnb
the drake/kendrick beef? ofc you're w kendrick tf. tommy is too, he's vibing and laughing with the music/dissing
his favorite songs that you listen too are euphoria, type shit, and i
he likes kendrick & metro boomin in general
he also likes the weeknd, megan, and some others
he can't help but laugh when Megan's more sexual music comes on but he will happily sing along to diss tracks and more sing along type songs
he knows all the lyrics to HISS and type shit front and back cause you play them so much (and cobra (rock remix))
he doesn't mind the cursing at all, he couldn't care less
all he cares about is that you're enjoying what you wanna enjoy 🙏
he enjoys the cooler rnb/rap/hip hop too, but he prefers the angry/dissing stuff a bit more
TUBBO
you listen to mostly sleep token, spiritbox, halestorm, and linkin park
it's not his full cup of tea but he enjoys it enough
his favorites are jaws, nazareth, the little things give you away, the way that you were, take me back to eden, and freak like me
he knows all the words to jaws and the little things give you away for you cause you play them so much
he doesn't give a shit what you listen to or what it's about, as long as you're happy
RANBOO
you like suicideboys / lil peep / bones type rap, like SoundCloud rapper rap 😭
they aren't the biggest fan but they couldn't care, they don't care about explicitives either
he enjoys not even ghosts are this empty, save that shit, vibe, sex with my ex sodium, grey gods, etc
they don't seem like the type to care for rap that much but hey you never know
smiles everytime you sing/rap along, he finds it funny in an adoring way
he'll do his best to learn the words but cannot promise he's completely right
he even recommends songs you listen to to others, he'll ask and make sure he got the right title and everything
"What's that song with the crown of thorns lyric?"
"grey gods"
"Thanks, I'm adding it to my playlist"
"oh?"
FREDDIE BADLINU
you like early 2000s rock lol (real omg)
lots of linkin park, halestorm, slipknot, staind, but also in this moment, pretty reckless, spiritbox, and i prevail
he doesn't listen to heavy music much but he'll enjoy it for you
he really enjoys whore (itm) because of the intro chords
his favorites that you play around him are bloody creature poster girl, duality, the void, fade and miss nothing
he doesn't really know the words well but he still enjoys it, he's just yet to really get into it/it's not really his thing
MAXGGS
like Tommy, you listen to mostly rap/hip hop/rnb
you're more on the 90s/early 2000s side though
like tupac, 50 cent, ice cube, the pharcycles, older rihanna stuff, eminem, jay-z, ne-yo, outkast, yknow
happily vibes with you, couldn't care less about explicitives
favorite songs you play around him are numb, hit em up, 2 of amerikaz most wanted, 21 questions, empire state of mind, and so fresh so clean
he gets much more into your type of music after introducing him to it
will happily learn all the lyrics to sing along with you 🙏🙏
ALEX QUACKITY
you listen mostly to like the weeknd, metro boomin, kendrick lamar etc
he does too so like perfect match bro
your favorites together are like that, type shit, house of balloons, money trees, creepin, not like us, and united in grief
you sing along together and act like you're in edits LMAO
literally always talking about rap beef together cause it's funny
you're both scared of meet the grahams
#lowkeyrobin#mcyt x reader#mcyt preferences#mcyt oneshot#mcyt x gn reader#gender neutral reader#gn reader#they/them reader#tommyinnit x reader#ranboo x reader#quackity x reader#badlinu x reader#maxggs x reader#tubbo x reader
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Anime and Manga Comparison (Encore): Amon
I'm back at it once more, and this time it's at the beginning. Not the very beginning, but close enough! This time comparing the first dungeon. I talked before on the specific humor compared to action we see with the slimes. Now, I want to focus on the design of the dungeon itself.
I love the intro dungeon in the manga. It's great. I do appreciate the comedic timing and framing of some Ohtaka's panels. The manga also shows Alibaba's problem-solving skills better. He has the moment in the anime showing he knows Tran and is well read and can lie pretty easily. But convincing a rich petty man that has never done anything by himself isn't saying that much.
Alibaba is able to deduce the proper way to go is the path left unmarked. Not something particularly hard in retrospect. It is a common tactic to leave some kind of marker where you've been to avoid confusion He is smart to break out of the in-the-box thinking he and Aladdin were stuck in. They thought the markings were something left by the dungeon itself as clues to progress. A good ol' dungeon puzzle. It wasn't though. It was merely something left by former adventurers to not screw themselves over and get lost. Taking a minute to go "wait a sec" isn't that easy, especially in a high stake location like being stuck in a dungeon.
I love the parts in the manga that didn't make it into the anime. It is great, truly.
But goddamn is it Amon generic as fuck.
Spikes in a death pit? Ancient language that you should know or else? Bland stone corridors and caves with multiple paths you have to travel through? Slimes as the common dungeon creature?
It's so painfully generic. I can't even, lmao.
I get the impression that Ohtaka did not know what she was going for in depth with the dungeons. I don't mean that as lack of experience or planning ahead, but more-so as just wanting to get her series off the ground so she went with common tropes she knew her readers would expect and probably enjoy. A safe bet to work her story out.
The rest of the dungeons once she gets around to them have so much character. The second you're in Zagan you can tell: this belongs to an earth djinn. Baal as the first dungeon in SnB feels more standard but has more stuff going for it. I love the creature designs inside a lot of Sin's conquered dungeons.
Belial is an absolute mindfuck and I love it so much. It's a psychological barrage of confronting your trauma and biases because Belial more than anyone else has to make sure he has a King's Candidate that has their shit together. Then it fails miserably. It has to be my favorite dungeon in the entire series.
Amon has nothing on any of that.
The anime in contrast?
From the outset, in a way in which your ass will be fried if you don't pay attention, the lesson is clear: this belongs to a fire djinn. Be careful or you are dead. 10,000 have gone in and very few had come out. It's great. The dungeon had such a powerful glow up in the anime. 10/10 will recommend for certain death.
A couple other things that don't really fit into the theme of dungeon design. In the manga, Aladdin sits around and waits because the time dilation is different for people entering the dungeon. Something that isn't really brought up in the anime is that people travel to and from dungeons separately and at different rates. Anime Aladdin could have been there for a while. I doubt it though as kid would have drowned and been burned alive of Alibaba didn't grab him and bolt out of there.
The bigger more subtle change is how Amon is summoned.
Manga: Story based on Aladdin and the Lamp. Cannot not have the imagery of Aladdin touching the lamp (or its stand-in in this case).
Anime: It's the moment when Aladdin chooses Alibaba as king. The magi has made his choice, and Amon decides that is a definitive time to come out. That isn't something that is clear on first watch. Odd that the room would suddenly light up when Aladdin helps Alibaba up. It is easy to miss the significance with not being introduced to the magi system until afterward. On rewatch it felt like a sledgehammer to me on how blatant they made it. When the anime hits you with the symbolism, it goes all out.
About wraps it up this time. Next, I'll probably try to tackle the beautiful mess that is Zagan's arc changes because BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS.
Mostly how it is surprisingly well done but so many people come out looking dumber in the anime. omg.
#magi#you all have no idea how much i've thought of the changes about everything#i've wanted to do a podcast for it but there's no way i have the energy to ever complete that#literally it's over twenty (admittedly handwritten) pages for just s1#magi: the labyrinth of magic#magi labyrinth of magic#magi alibaba#magi aladdin#alibaba saluja#i still have more comments on the first arc#but Zagan has SO MUCH to unpack#i'll likely end up doing that next#my stuff#long post#includes photo edit#yay going through my long backlog
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Hello!! I am extremely new to demonolatry as I have very recently discovered it and I would like to know if you have any resources for beginners to read/watch that are helpful. Don’t worry about it if you don’t or if you simply don’t feel like it, I don’t mind!! Ty and have a nice day!!!!
Hey there! Terribly sorry for answering this so late. Xx So I've only been into Daemonolatry for about a year now, though I have learnt a lot thus far and I'd be more than happy to share some really important pointers to aid you in walking this path. ^.^
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So first and foremost before I get into the main blogpost, I really cannot stress this enough...
Please educate yourself on closed practices and steer clear of cultural appropriation in your personal practises. There are a group of people in the Daemonolatry community who appropriate the heck out of Jewish daemons, especially Lilith. Judaism is a closed practise and therefore it's only respectful to not incorporate Judaism into your personal practises. Appropriating Judaism is actually a form of anti-Semitism, so please be mindful and respectful of these things! 🖤
I'm ashamed to admit this but I actually used to think it was completely fine to appropriate Jewish daemons last year, thanks to subreddits like r/DemonlatryPractices who would constantly try to push propaganda about Lilith being a "Mesopotamian Pagan Goddess" and other excuses for appropriating her. That same subreddit decided to attack me when I merely mentioned (on a completely different subreddit, mind you) that I disagreed with them appropriating Lilith, and in turn I got witch-hunted so that's great lmao. 🤡
Please avoid that subreddit at all costs, it's an absolute cesspit of cultural appropriation and passive anti-Semitism, and honestly they exhibit cult-like behaviour if you do so much as simply disagree with the appropriation of Jewish daemons. It's pretty disturbing... But yeah anyways sorry for rambling lol.
I'd also recommend avoiding people and organisations such as S. Connolly, V.K. Jehannum, Satan & Suns/Sons, BlackWitchCoven, The BecomeALivingGod Forum, The Satanic Temple, Joy Of Satan Ministries, The Order Of Nine Angles, scarletarosa (a user that literally exists here on Tumblr... yikes), etc. They engage in Jewish appropriation, and some of them even have ties to Nazism, racism, and other forms of bigotry too.
Some other Jewish daemons/spirits that you should avoid appropriating alongside Lilith are; Naamah, Agrat Bat Mahalath, Eisheth Zenunim, Samael, Abyzou, and the Grigori / Watcher Angels.
There are many other closed practices too, but if you'd like to do further research I can leave that up to you. ^.^
Okay sorry about that huge ramble lmao, just thought I would get that out of the way before getting into the main post because I think it's an important point to make and I don't want you to fall down a cultural appropriation apologist pipeline like I did at the beginning of my practise lol. Xx
Anyways, let's talk about The Infernal Divine!
+: GIF Credit :+
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So we'll start with some really basic stuff. What exactly are daemons?
It's not commonly known outside of Daemonolatry that daemons themselves actually predate Christianity. The term 'demon' (alternatively spelled 'daemon') comes from the word 'daimon' which originates way back in Greek mythology. Daimons were a type of tutelary deity as well as guiding spirit whose divine nature was that of both mortals and deities. They were also sometimes regarded as bringers of knowledge, wisdom, and destiny. In this sense, they could be considered deities in their own right.
Contrary to popular belief, daemons are not evil and never were to begin with. It was only until the coming of Christianity that daemons as well as other gods were vilified and ostracised due to the cultish, radical, monotheistic mindset a lot of Christian extremists held back in the day. Lucifer himself was a "demonized" Roman god also known as Phosphorus, associated with light and the planet Venus. From that description alone, I don't really get evil vibes lol.
In my opinion, our world cannot simply be split up into just black or white, and daemons are no exception. Daemons aren't evil, but they aren't completely love and light either; They're neutral. Much like humans as well as the universe itself, the Infernal Divine are various shades of grey, and all daemons are unique and differ in personality.
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So with all this in mind, what are some good resources that don't endorse and/or engage in appropriation of closed practices?
The YouTube channels ESOTERICA and ReligionForBreakfast have great information on the history of various religions and practises!
~ Book Recommendations ~
Livre des Esperitz
Dictionnaire Infernal
Pseudomonarchia Daemonum
Pandemonium: A Discordant Concordance Of Diverse Spirit Catalogues
I personally am working towards being a daemonolatry resource myself, but I haven't been able to post much lately due to my mental health issues. I also took an active break last year, as it was pointed out by a friend of mine that my belief of thinking it was fine to appropriate closed practises was obviously problematic, and so I took time off from posting in order to educate myself and delete any problematic blog posts I had made endorsing that in the past.
But nonetheless, I hope that what I was able to provide in this post was helpful! I wish you well on your spiritual path. 🖤
❀ ~ Many Blessings ~ ❀
-Korv
#asks#daemonolatry info posts#demonolatry#daemonolatry#demonology#daemonology#paganism#pagan#witchblr#theistic satanism#satanism#spiritual satanism#theistic luciferianism#luciferian#daemons#demons#infernal gods#infernal divine
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OK, so normally I really don't like bringing up controversial or scary/disturbing topics, but I just came across this thing recently and.... ht tps: //m.yo utub e.com /watch ?v= u0YXBkKQnQA
Yeah ... :(
But, it made me really curious. How would your OCs Rafael and Magritte react to this phenomenon? How would it make them feel, what do they think?
(Of course I'm talking about when they're in the future, since ik their whole story takes place in the 2010s. But they are still Millenials, so Mags & Raf would be in their 30's and 40's respectively by 2023-24)
(And yes I am aware they're from Canada and this problem is mostly in American (from what I've seen))
I'm especially curious how Magritte will view it, since well... she's someone born with a significant condition that makes it hard to focus, sit still, pay attention, or have certain awareness of her surroundings, etc. (all the things the lady mentions in the vid) How would she feel knowing there's now millions of neurotypical children with the same problems but for a different reason?- Because of their overindulgence/obsession in social media/technology. (really do wonder what the neurodivergent GenZ & Millenials think about this phenomenon and how it's gonna affect the Gen Alpha ones)
Also - and I know I'm really reaching with this one but - how do you think they would combat or prevent this issue with their own child? Assuming they ever decide to have one in the future.. 😅
Yeah, sorry for that whole essay of a question. 😅
And you don't have to respond if this is too deep or personal of a topic for you (believe me I really don't wanna think about how this a reality either), but if you do, I really recommend you watching the vid in full.
so, for context, the video talks about how the current generation of kids are preforming at grade levels much lower than their current grade, and are presenting behavioral problems--that are, apparently, a result of phone overuse. [/simplified]
Raf would kinda deliberately avoid putting too much thought into it and wouldn't have much of an opinion aside from "it sounds like a very complicated situation" and "when in doubt, blame the parents [/hj]"
Margie, though, has some strong opinions about North american school structures/cirriculums haha. the children and technology aren't the problem. The world is changing, it will always change. Standardized grade school is a relatively new structure, and it has hardly changed at all since it was first concieved, especially compared to how much the rest of the world/society has changed since then. School systems have not and cannot adapt fast enough to accomodate the rapidly changing job market, technology, advancements in psychological understanding, etc. And, to Margie, the fact that schools apparently can no longer teach kids in an effective manner is proof to her that the public school system is becoming obsolete and needs to change or be replaced with something more suitable for the current era. Because, after all, "anything you learn after 4th grade is kinda useless in real life application anyways, I haven't retained any of it, lmao."
Margie really very dislikes the public school system and considers it an extremely stressful waste of her childhood 😂 she coulda spent all that time...learning and playing music instead of getting yelled at by teachers and parents and made to hate subjects/activities she might have loved if they had just been introduced to her differently.
As for their own kids, they can't have 'em and don't want 'em haha
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Okay I finally generated an ask for you!!!!
What is your favourite genre of music? Or if you don't know how to categorize the music you listen to (like me), what is your favourite song? Or band? Or album? Something like that.
ohhhhh #1 question i am categorically incapable of being normal about <3
i typically just define my favorite music as "loud" or "aggressive" or "abrasive" bc most stuff that fits those descriptors will be in my faves regardless of the genre.
a more specific answer is that there are 3 main things i've noticed that will typically make me go apeshit without fail and they are:
1. hardstyle/gabber/industrial hardcore- sorta basskick
2. sickass metal guitar shredding
3. huge dramatic grandiose orchestral
if something has 1 of these i will probably like it, if it has 2 it will be a top fave, and all 3.... well i have yet to find it yet but im sure i will Ascend. here are examples of said top fave combos.
laur covers hardstyle+orchestral and i Cannot Get Enough of his shit man it goes so fucking crazy hard
metal+orchestral is unquestionably ruled by nightwish, but theyre not on bandcamp and i dont feel like finding other links so this one goes to the still-very-fucking-awesome runner-up, POWERWOLF
riikira and rabbitjunk hit metal+hardstyle, though it's less strictly hardstyle and more just general hardcore* electronica. if its got crazy amens its enough who cares. i put the ones that use actual kicks for the sake of illustrating the point here but these tracks are both pretty far from my faves from each lmao
*hardcore referring to hardcore [edm] in this case, even though the genre these belong to is called "digital hardcore", which instead refers to hardcore [punk]. it's a mess out here. did you know theres two completely different things called doomcore where one is derived from metal and the other is derived from hardcore. and you never know which itsd going to be when you click on something in the doomcore tag. im dying squirtle
anyway on the other side of the hardstyle+metal combo is kobaryo [with his alias blaxervant], who's much more about the hardcore side of things and just has the metal as flair, but it is still: the best shit ever
laur also on occasion hits this side of hardstyle+metal becaue he just likes using whatever the fuck instruments
there are of course many other things i love a lot, primary examples being ambient/atmospheric, folk, and anything with a lot of Texture.
im not gonna get into all that but i do have an extended list of faves/recs from the last time i was asked about this and went insane abt it. it took forever to make and my actual recs are not entirely the same as my Faves so im putting it on here too.
i keep these curated to the top of my bandcamp profile so they're the first things that display there. it's a bit old by now and some have since been shuffled out, but it's still like 80% accurate.
as for the actual recs: the angel's message is there because it's my fave brand of intense and chaotic stuff and want it to kill you full force. it already has some tracks up there so im not re-linking it
this one i recommend just because i think it's really interesting and out there and i'm curious what other people think of this sort of stuff. it's also the prime example of what i mean when i talk about Textures in music.
wolfgun is an actual rec for being genuinely just really good music. probably the most objectively cool/platonically enjoyable thing in my library
#i could keep going. u kno. forever. i didnt even touch on harsh noise#noise falls under hardstyle AND ambient AND Textures to me but its also its own thing depending on the approach#by the by i also have @bassgator on here for music sharing but i keep falling out of using it#also i always reblog stuff from there to here to add comments anyway#edit: changed the powerwolf track bc the first one wasnt working. rip 'venom of venus' you can go get it on youtube or something
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Hiii ＼(ﾟ∀ﾟ)／
Sooo what do you think about the Haikyuu! Movie without knowing anime? 😀
(I'm sending this ask to discuss our impressions in the comments (and recommend this series a bit haha)
Have a nice day ♡
hiiii!! i didn't realize this was going to become a full-on essay so 💀 apologies in advance for the long-windedness. i don't blame you if you don't feel like reading all the way through lmao (there is a tl;dr at the end if that's the case)
my sister actually got into haikyuu after S1 (pretty much a decade ago at this point 😭) so i've at least known about it and understood the gist of it for a while now. i myself didn't get into anime until a few years ago though! so i've been slowly building up my watch catalog. normally i like funny animes so haikyuu definitely fits the criteria, but due to the fact that 1) it's a sports anime 2) i have very little interest in sports and 3) there would be a LOT of episodes to catch up on, it's just been sitting in my to-watch list for years lmaooo
as i started to follow more people on tumblr, i also started to see more haikyuu content, so i recognized some characters just by their appearance (hinata [obviously], but also kenma, kageyama, and atsumu miya [the guy with the undercut, who i don't remember seeing in the movie]). but anyway, my sister had been saying she wanted to watch the movie once it came out. and over the weekend, i happened to see a lot of people posting about going to watch the movie so i told her we should go! and so we did!
the movie was so hilarious and i thoroughly enjoyed watching!! the rivalry between the 2 teams was sooo funny. i knew i was going to like the movie, but it did end up being a little bit fast-paced for me cause i basically dived in with like. 0.4 background,,,, like ya girl was strUGgLinG trying to keep up. but that's no one's fault but my own 😔 i was kind of hoping it'd be like the demon slayer mugen train movie (which is actually what got me into anime! but that's besides the point). where the premise would be simple enough that you wouldn't need that much context before watching. i knew the movie would basically be just one really long volleyball game so i figured it would be fine... alas, i was wrong 😭 i don't know the rules of the game or any of the characters/their positions so it was all i could do to just watch and try to understand everything as it was happening ;-;
another thing i wanna mention is that now that i've long since graduated from my "beginner weeb" phase and become a full-on weeb, i'm familiar with a lot of voices and voice actors so it's difficult for me to see new characters and their voice actors (that i already know from somewhere else) as one entity 🤔 i'm not sure if that makes a lot of sense ><
for example: the whole time we were watching the movie, i felt like kenma sounded a lot like yuki kaji (who voices shoto [mha] and eren [aot])?? but also didn't at the same time. it was bothering me the whole 2 hours but i looked it up after it was over and i was right 😩
i also immediately recognized kuro as gojo [jjk]/hawks [mha]/greed [fma]; so kuro wasn't even kuro to me, he was just a volleyball au gojo with a completely different look 😭 i feel like that kind of gets in the way of my viewing experience personally, because i couldn't pause and think about where i know this voice from (like i usually do when i start a new anime). but it bOThERs mE because it's like on the tip of my tongue and my mind caNnOT rEST until i confirm my suspicions 😩
anyway, going in, the only people i knew about were like. hinata and kageyama... and it was surface-level knowledge at best. but i've seen kenma around enough where i recognized his character design so i thought i might like him. and he ended up being super cute!! i loved him, but i also really loved kuro (he is very handsome 🥰) and the tall glasses guy from karasuno. he was funny as fuck. but i'm definitely interested in watching the show to see what other lovable goofs the story has to offer. i'm always on the hunt for more blorbos
tl;dr basically i loved the movie, i thought it was really funny; now i have to actually watch the show so i can really enjoy the experience the movie had to offer. the production was honestly great. my sister wants me to get caught up so we can watch it again while it's still in theaters lmao. we'll have to see about that... the first 2 seasons are 25 eps each and then there are at least a few more seasons (even if they are less eps) after that 💀 when i got into mha last year, i was able to blast through 6 seasons within a week,,, but that costed me 3 full days worth of binge-watching and several work nights to catch up 😩 idk if i can do that again
thank you for the ask and interacting with me 🥺🫶 i know your day just started so i hope it goes well!! have a nice rest of the week also <3
#ask#haikyuu#another fun aside: my sister and i went to an anime convention last week and got to meet tanaka’s japanese va!!#he was so passionate about his character and honestly i love that for him
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Hey! We don't know each other but I found you through the PNES tag. I'm trying to find out more info about PNES versus temporal lobe epilepsy, to help me figure out how likely it is that I need medication for what I'm pretty sure are focal seizures.
My question is: can PNES seizures have an aura?
Are there any ways you know of to tell the difference aside from an EEG during an episode? I am planning on getting a neuro referral at my next doctor's appointment but it's been giving me bad anxiety worrying about it.
Thank you for your time.
Hello! I really hope things go well with your appointment! I know how scary all of it can be. I have full faith that you've totally got this though!!
So, to answer your question: yes, some people with PNES can and will experience an aura before a seizure, but others won't. The way that PNES affects people and is experienced can vary from person to person. For example, like I said, I do experience an aura sensation before I have a seizure. My head begins to fog up in a way that's kind of hard for me to fully describe. For me, it's almost like I'm slowly becoming mentally numb, like a fog is rolling in that puts me on high alert. But I also have other tell-teale signs that I'm about to seize: my left hand always starts to tremble, and I always become vastly less-than-aware of myself and my surroundings. Other people with PNES might have different cues, or similar cues, or anything else entirely. That being said, the seizures themselves can differ, too. While mine include no longer being in control of my limbs and violent convulsions and twitches, some people may have ones that look like absence seizures, or even another type completely.
Before I was officially diagnosed, I went to two different neurologists and had two different EEG scans done: one in office and one overnight. They monitored how my brain behaved both outside of a seizure and during a seizure. PNES seizures and epileptic seizures look very different on EEGs, which is to be expected due to their different causes. It's actually pretty cool to see the difference, I recommend looking up some different scans to see! But outside of the tests, my doctors ran through my symptoms and how I experience having a seizure, and were able to jot down the differences in what I was experiencing compared to someone with epilepsy. For example, I'm actually able to hear everything around me during a seizure, but since I'm seizing, I'm unresponsive no matter what, which tends to be abnormal for the type of seizure I experience. I also go completely nonverbal after a seizure for anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. But again, that's just how I experience them. Experiences can and often times will vary from person to person, but the cause is the same: PNES is brought on by an emotional response, while epileptic seizures are caused by a physical response from the brains nerves cells.
Now that being said, temporal lobe epilepsy doesn't seem to be caused by an emotional reaction, but rather, can be triggered by an emotional reaction (usually high stress levels) due to the epilepsy being present in the, well, temporal lobes. Which then circles back around to the overall cause being different, though symptoms can be similar.
To be honest, due to their similarities, I'm not sure if you could be diagnosed with one or the other without having EEGs and other tests done. But the good news is, none of the tests hurt! And for all of them you'll be closely monitored so in the event of a seizure you won't be injured then, either.
(I'm a "glass half full" kind of person lmao)
I cannot stress enough how important it is to be honest with your doctor about what you're experiencing. It's definitely anxiety inducing for a lot of us, but the more open and honest you are with them, the more they can help steer you in the right direction. And if you get saddled with a doctor unwilling to listen or simply write you off, please don't hesitate to really advocate for yourself. You really need to be in your own corner so you can get the correct diagnosis, so you can then get the proper help and treatment you need. It'll take time, and at some points it'll probably be frustrating--I know it was for me--but it's so important to get the proper treatment for the true problem.
I really, really hope that things go well for you and that you can figure out what it is that you're experiencing! I'm rooting for you!!
(Also this got very long very quickly, but I hope it helps nonetheless!)
#bearing in mind that i am not a doctor nor do i play one on tv lmao#the cleveland clinic has some good information on their site about both epileptic and pnes type seizures#i recommended looking there for some more info!#asks#ask#answered#pnes#psychogenic non epileptic seizures#seizures#seizure disorder#non epileptic seizures#epilepsy#temporal lobe epilepsy#tle
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Yo!! Hello!!! I am like 90% sure I've seen you post about dimension 20 before!!
I just got a dropout subscription and I'm thriving but I am looking for advice for where to start/go with the dnd-verse on it? I'm assuming that the separate campaigns are relatively stand-alone but I would love an opinion (or just input on what the actual chronology is lmao)
hehe sleeper phrase discovered i'm honored you came to me :)
so the first thing to know which you probably already do is that there is a main returning cast for some seasons, and then some campaigns are a different group with an occasional different dm. the Intrepid Heroes are Lou Wilson, Zac Oyama, Brian Murphy, Ally Beardsley, Siobhan Thompson, and Emily Axford with Brennan Lee Mulligan dming, so they play as that exact group multiple times. There's usually one or two of them in a non-main-cast campaign, too, including Brennan sometimes as a player when somebody else is dming.
So! In terms of watch order! I recommend starting with Fantasy High because it's the original campaign and also fantastic. There are currently two seasons, Fantasy High and Fantasy High: Sophomore Year, and they are both masterpieces. We're also getting Junior Year this winter which is extremely exciting for me personally because I Love Fantasy High lol. Fantasy High is a great starting point especially if you're new to dnd/dnd actual play shows (which you may not be so feel free to disregard this bit of advice lol) because multiple players are learning how to play in the first season, so there's plenty of opportunity to learn with them. It's also generally pretty light-hearted and funny, though it doesn't sacrifice story for comedy which I love. If you don't know, the concept of Fantasy High is that these young teenagers live in a world where everywhere else is a stereotypical fantasy world but their country is like. Classic high school Americana. It's silly, the characters are great, the storylines are great and only get better in Sophomore Year, it's an all around great time and great intro to D20!
I went right from Fantasy High to Unsleeping City, which is also fantastic (you'll notice a recurring theme here, I love every campaign I've watched so far lol). If you like the lighter parts of Fantasy High but want a little bit more tension, Unsleeping City is perfect. It's set in modern-day New York with a twist: there's a magical underside to the city. Lots of fantastic commentary on modern life in the storytelling that slaps, I won't spoil but it slaps, and also really wonderful characters! Unsleeping City also has two seasons, so you get to see the characters grow and change a lot over two full plotlines which is very fun!
If you like the more serious side of things, my personal favorite D20 campaign is A Crown of Candy. I watched this third and it made me cry hard enough at work that my boss asked if I was okay lol. The set-up is simple: fantasy world made of food, but make it Game of Thrones. It's intense, the stakes are high from episode one, it's incredibly character driven and everybody plays really, really interesting characters, and because of how high-stakes it is, every payoff is just insane. We all talk about Ally's poetic nat 20s and believe me, they exist, but Mr. Lou Wilson (love of my life) has a nat 20 near the end of A Crown of Candy that genuinely made me feel so crazy when it happened that I had to take a walk lol. Cannot recommend it enough, it's devastating and perfect.
A Starstruck Odyssey is really good again if you like the lighter end of thing but still want stakes and tension! The world is based of comics that Brenna's mom wrote which is really sweet, and it's a very different vibe because is sci-fi instead of pure fantasy, which is honestly really fun. Some of the characters are up there on my favorites list, shoutout to Skipper and Sundry Sydney!
In terms of the campaigns that aren't Intrepid Heroes, the first one I listened to was Misfits and Magic, which is a Harry Potter spoof dmed by Abria Ayangar, who's fantastic, and featuring Brennan as an utterly unhinged in the best way player. There's also Mice and Murder, which is a super great mystery with anthropomorphic animals that was shot on zoom over the first lockdown (a few seasons were so don't be shocked by that lol). I'm a bit more than halfway through A Court of Fey and Flowers which has been great so far, and I'm super looking forward to getting to The Ravening War, which is a prequel to A Crown of Candy, and Mentoplis, as well as the current season, Burrow's End. I have to watch Neverafter first though, which is the most recent Intrepid Heroes campaign.
Anyway! To summarize!
My advice is to start with Fantasy High and Fantasy High: Sophomore Year, and then pick which elements you liked best to decide what you want next! All of the campaigns that aren't explicitly linked are completely standalone, like I'm not missing anything important from the one's I've watched by not having watched some of the others, so don't worry too much about chronology or anything like that! The only ones that need to be watched in a specific order are the two with two seasons already, which are Fantasy High and Unsleeping City, but those are labelled quite clearly with season titles! Also if it's easier to keep track of, Dropout has the campaigns sorted into their own shows on the site so you don't have to choose seasons of D20, you can just choose A Crown of Candy.
PLEASE update me as you watch! I love love love talking D20 lol it's one of my favorite shows like ever!!
#dimension 20#dropout#d20 is so so so good have SO much fun watching!!! the important thing is it doesn't matter how you watch just have fun with it!
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Hi! 3, 6, 9 and 12 (TF) and 8 and 15 for Ambulon please
Aecho Hi!!!!!
Transformers
3...which scene I would like to erase from the universe and why.
Auuughgh I'm not even gonna try and think too much but like half the deaths and deaths fake outs in mtmte are grating me, I think if i sat down and actually tried to tell you i wouldn't come up with anything concrete or really worse erasing. Despite how much criticism i give to tf media there's barely anything that makes me mad enough to erase it from existence.
6...which is my favorite platonic or familial relationship in this world.
Charlie and Bumblebee is the biggest comfort to me!! I can't just keep talking abt idw1 LMAO their friendship is so wonderful and I hope we get to see them interact again at least briefly.
9...which characters I think should have interacted more in canon.
Oh man. It'd take another list. I think i would've loved to see Shockwave and Ambulon and combicons in general interact. Would've loved a little more into Shockwave working on the combiners and flashback on the combicons even if vaguely.
Amb got some daddy issues i know he does /j
12...what attracted me into checking it out.
It's actually been with me my whole life i was a HUGE transformers kid with the first two live action movies and tfp, i just kind of fell off when i started using internet much more. I had a HUGE crush on Bumblebee, esp Animated one, even wrote Ded Moroz a letter asking for an animated bumblebee toy. With a drawing. With me and Bee.
I didn't get the toy though and my parents never indulged me cuz they weren't big fans of me being into "boys" things so fucking jokes on them now.
Though if i had to say why i got so much into it recently (its going to be exactly a year since tomorrow. LMAO) its cuz I've had a passing interest in rewatching tfp and then i kind of got Really into starbee and found out about idw1, watched the live action Bumblebee, got Transformers devastation on my laptop, started reading a Lot of starbee fanfiction and eventually started reading idw1 and watching tfa, which became an actual rabbit hole for me. And here I am........
Ambulon
8...if I'm most interested in fics about them that focus on fluff, angst, humor, smut or actual plot?
I'll be real I mostly read fanfiction for smut cuz when it comes to anything non-shippy I'm very picky and particular w the way my favs are characterized and how things are written, but smut is somehow much less commitment to me lmao. Especially w Ambulon I'm very territorial w him.
So yea most fic I've read w him was smut.
I don't mind non-smut/ship fic recommendations I'm just bad at finding fic like that I would like lmao. Which is very funny to me cuz most stuff I write isn't really about shipping.
15...how I wish their story would go/would have gone.
He shouldn't have died like that, my entire Ambulon blog is a fix-it fanfiction. He's such a low stakes character from like. Narrative stand point, that his death is a tool for other characters "development". I don't really like how much his character was warped and twisted in general cuz Jro cannot be consistent w Ambulon for the life of him. But also I get it, y'know? His death was stupid but also not like, getting rid of another bg character is that much of a deal, even though it's insane how much personality and story he was given as a one-off character lmao.
I love the angst around his death though he makes a good story ghost.
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i have a quastion. what is dungeon meshi like i’ve considered watching the anime since it looks amusing…. i trust you as an authority on this hence why i’m in your asks :3c
Dungeon Meshi is so good!!!
So Ryoko Kui (the author of the manga) is a super super great artist and writer in general, and her knowledge of intimate and expansive worldbuilding, including the cultures of different fantasy races is VERY apparent in dunmesh without being super in your face. It strikes a perfect balance between showing and implying and telling; giving you information when you need it but not holding your hand throughout the process. Ecology and biology of creatures and the places (mostly dungeons but yk) is SUPER important and expanded upon in the story. It scratches my Creature autism SOOO well. And all of the characters are VERY distinct and fun AND THE DESIGNS FUCK SOOO HARD. Dungeon Meshi has become one of my favorite series of all time, because it's so. so fucking profound. There are a LOT of funny moments and gags but there's an equal amount of genuinely serious and emotional moments. The character dynamics. GOD. Cannot recommend it enough.
Also. Dungeon Meshi is super fucking horny. LMAO. Not in a "fanservice-y" way (in fact, there is only ONE character that ever gets upskirt/panty shots and it is Senshi, the bearded dwarf man. He's my fave btw <3). But dunmeshi uses consumption (and to a lesser/technical extent cannibalism as well) as a... metaphor for love and obsession, and frequently eroticizes it. I hesitate to say metaphor because it's honestly VERY obvious lmao. Especially with how genuinely autistic Laios is about monsters and eating them. Then there's also transformation and change that's also VERY eroticized. A lot of the focus of Dungeon Meshi is desire. How people experience it, and just how far people will go for it. Which, again, is super eroticized a LOT. All done in a tasteful(? not sure if this is the right word but yk) way and not in a surface level "LOOK, SEX!!!!!!!!!" way. Not that there's anything inherently WRONG with being horny and not being like profound about it but I'm just trying to make a point lol
Now to specifically talk about the anime since that's what you mentioned wanting to watch (though I REALLY reccommend the manga, it is fucking GORGEOUS and there are so many hilarious panels that haven't been brought over to the anime, despite how well it's been doing with that so far. It just happens with turning a manga into an anime yk?)! It's doing a really good job so far!! The only issues I have are relatively nitpicky (I've gone into detail abt it if you wanna see here) and more of an issue with modern anime overall so!
They're doing a really great job of translating over from the page to the screen and the voice acting work (both the original japanese and english dub) is really fucking good. And I don't typically like modern english dubs. The layout of the episodes is really nice so far too, centering around the "dish/es of the day" without feeling too constrictively like your typical "monster of the week" type episodes. It helps that Dungeon Meshi as a media itself strikes a really good balance between that and its storytelling. Though again. Laios is genuinely SO fucking autistic about monsters and eating them lmao and the series focuses on him/his party so! There's so much good in depth discussion about monsters, both their biology (especially in relation to their taste hehe) as well as their natures, and ecology!
I'm also really a fan of netflix releasing the episodes weekly instead of dropping them all at once. It's refreshing coming from netflix specifically considering their... track record.
But anyway yeah! TYSM Marty for coming to me about this and letting me go on an autistic talk about it!! I only apologize for not being more specific, but a lot of my dunmesh posting (reblogs anyway since I'm pretty sure the posts I've MADE about it have been relatively vague??) is already pretty spoilery and I'm a firm believer in a first watch/read being as spoiler free as possible!! It makes subsequent rewatches/rereads all the more fun to me personally <3 Though that's obviously up to you lol
#mud rambles#warewolfish#ask#answered#also I will apologize for not being super........ articulate...? I guess?#I'm bad at explaining my thoughts lol#I tried to at least break it up to make it easier to read#BUT THIS IS TO SAY. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY FUCKING WATCH IT AND READ THE MANGA IF THATS UR THING I THINK YOU WOULD LIKE IT UWU#long post
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47, 30, 44, and 26 (if you have them)! :)
47. What are the last three books you read?
"Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI" by David Grann. This is a nonfiction book about a truly horrific period of history in Oklahoma. It's a good read in that I cannot believe I never learned about this in school but wow am I depressed now.
"Ancillary Sword" by Ann Leckie. Second in a trilogy that I am really enjoying and recommend heartily.
"The Empress of Salt and Fortune." Short enough to be considered a novella, I think. It's an interesting and quirky little story beautifully told.
30. How many books do you have on your 'currently-reading' list?
Three. A history book about Ajax the Greater, Gilgamesh, and "The Vanishing Half" by Brit Bennett.
44. The book(s) whose stories have become part of your very makeup.
100 years of Solitude, ROTE, Probably Lioness Rampant from when I was a child lmao, and Discworld, The Iliad...
The very first Discworld book I read was Small Gods when I was like 12. I don't remember much of the plot, but I have always remembered Bilius, the god of hangovers. Coming down with chronic migraines, I suddenly related so hard to this character I had read about 15 years prior, and I think about him often. You and me both, Bilius.
26. Favorite novella(s).
I can only think of two that I've read off the top of my head--Candide by Voltaire and The Empress of Salt and Fortune, mentioned above. I recommend them both, though I don't think either counts as a favorite story.
#how do determine which books changed me#honestly I could list a bunch more#the good women of china hidden voices#snow crash probably affected me for years and who knows how much of that is still written in my brain#same with catch 22#and a fine balance by rohinton mistry affected me for months and months and I'm afraid to go back and read it#and find it doesn't hit as hard as it did back then
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alright heres a shit ton
6, 7, 11, 20, 21, 24, 27, and 28
oh boy here we go i had to switch from mobile to desktop for this. thank you for sending so many i love answering these <3
6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?
oh for sure! i reread a lot of my friends fics so anything by @cryptophasiac @lakemichiganlolita @petefromarma @buildarocketboys assume i have read it multiple times. and also go read their fics asap<3 as far as individual fics, i'm sure there are specific ones that i cannot think of right now lmao chances are if its in my bookmarks, i've read it a few times
7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?
flushed out ideas, not many lol my brain writes dialogue first, i'll hear someone say something and then write in my notes app so i can use it at a later time, but not actual ideas really
11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?
i don't actually haha i'm usually watching tv or a youtube video while i write honestly. when i listen to music i get distracted by it lmfao
20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?
i really liked that all of the titles of my girlpete fics were from the same album "if i can't have love, i want power" by halsey (which is absolutely one of my All Time Absolute Favorite albums and can't recommend enough) but only 4/6 have titles w lyrics from that album. the other two are lyrics from "fall with me" by the wild reeds and "snake charmer" by blink 182 lmao
21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?
i've had full complete fics that have gotten chopped up and repurposed. what usually happens is there's something about the finished fic or scene that doesn't Scratch that Itch i want it too, so it'll get put on the back burner until i can take my favorite bits and pieces and use them somewhere else.
as far as outright like, backspace delete a scene, no i don't think i ever have. i save every single draft of a fic just in case. sometimes i look through old drafts and end up finding something i like lol
24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s).
i don't make moodboards i do have a girl out boy pinterest though which is mostly just like.. clothes lol
27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?
every single one lol before i post any fic, there's always a moment of anxiety like its going to go over super poorly or whatever. i've been super lucky that people tell me how much they enjoy my fics and it really does mean to world to hear bc i'm my own biggest critic lol
but specifically? "i'd do anything to make you feel" because it was kind of the darkest fic i've posted? and "if everything could ever feel this way forever" bc it does have the non-con tag and i had never posted anything so dub/non-con lol
28. Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”?
not that specific tag no but i did tag "i'd do anything to make you feel" as dead dove adjacent lol there was nothing inherently dead dove but the themes i understand could make ppl uncomfy so i added it for a heads up
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ambie! i’m contemplating buying dd2 but i’m not entirely sure. could you perhaps share what your experience playing has been like? it looks like fun from what you’ve posted, but i’m curious if it’s worth the price tag? thank you!
hi! this depends tbh - have you played the first game / ddda? if yes ABSOLUTELY buy it I cannot recommend it enough.
even if not I would still absolutely recommend it but bear in mind that I am heavily biased because ddda is my comfort game and the games themselves have huge sentimental / nostalgia value to me.
to be honest, this game is incredible to me. it's exactly like the first game but better, the combat is more intuitive, the world feels more vibrant and the pawns themselves feel more alive! the story itself / lore is a bit ambiguous and you have to piece things yourself, just like in soulslikes. actually, yeah, I would describe dragons dogma games as dark souls lite turned dnd game idk why its just the vibe!!!
i have been enjoying dd2 immensely and its already my comfort game. bear in mind that if you play on PC there are some performance issues, depending on your rig, but capcom stated that they might be looking into it in the future patches. it didn't discourage me from playing at least and there are some helpful tips online on how to improve it a bit.
the world is fun to explore because it feels filled with things, there is stuff happening around every corner. you initially can't fast travel but i never mind that because I honestly love exploring everywhere and seeing everything! there are no quest markers and such but the pawns themselves can offer guidance if they already accompanied another player on the quest!! they will also point out points of interest and loot that you might have missed. i think that's super cool + you can high five them after a battle!!! which honestly is a high-light to me. sometimes. the pawns also talk a lot - which i honestly love, personally - and this time they interact with each other!!!! there is banter!!! and it can be so funny / sweet sometimes idk they just feel more rounded out this time and i love love love them so much!!! i also love the addition of camping to the game - i know its there to rest while out and about but i just find it so cute and cozy.
i love the combat. i honestly don't play games for combat and I usually don't have strong feelings about it but I love the combat here. i mean dragons dogma always had a well-designed combat imho but dd2 improves it. it just feels more intuitive, more streamlined but without reducing the complexity of it. i play a mage (have to heal. i have healer main syndrome) and I love how squishy I am and that I have to mind my footing and keep an eye out on my party members so I can heal and buff them in time. i usually do not care for difficulty in games (hello resident "always plays on easy" girlie here) but I love how dragons dogma handles it. because you really do improve as you go and it doesn't feel as overbearing and punishing as soulsborne does.
cant speak much for story yet + obviously want to avoid spoilers but i personally find it intriguing. i really love the side-quests though. and how deep they can go. what starts as a simple fetch quest can actually evolve into a full on storyline with twists and turns and multiple endings. its good quest design!!! and I love how the game doesn't hold your hand but if you do need guidance you can get it!!! the pawns are here to help!
i love the overall vibe and the aesthetic, it feels like I am in a medieval fantasy fairy tale with fabled monsters, legends, and beautiful landmarks. and there are so many secrets to discover, so many moments that made me go "OH". I get excited whenever I discover anything new, or when I level up, or beat a boss. this game rewards you for your time!! it rewards you for exploring and honing your skills and finding out stuff!!! idk its just. like a drug to me lmao I love the sense of accomplishment it gives.
i can honestly say this is going to be one of my top games of all time. i think a lot of that has to do with the love I feel for the first game but I would recommend the game to newcomers as well (you will just miss out on the nostalgia and it might take you a bit longer to find your footing, but story-wise its a stand-alone adventure and things are explained to you). ultimately, if you are still on the fence, and haven't played ddda yet, I would recommend that also, you can get it pretty cheap nowadays and dd2 is basically the same as that but with better graphics.
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Happy Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day~!
As per this post, today is a day for fanfic writer appreciation! So, I wanted to share some of my current fave fics🥰 (Since I’ve been on a Star Wars kick for a while, these will all be Star Wars.) As always, follow the rules: mind the tags and don’t like, don’t read <3 And if you read any of these, leave the authors a kudos & comment!
(If you are on this list and do not want to be, please let me know!)
Without further ado, here’s some fic recs in no particular order:
1) look at me (with your eyes closed) by @maderilien
Boba Fett/Din Djarin, Rated T, 120k+ words.
Aaaaah, this fic was delicious. A canon-divergence fic after season 2 episode 1, it follows Boba and Din as Boba goes in search of his ship (which was sold off rather than conveniently still in Jabba's Palace). It's got it all--Allies to Friends to Mutual Pining to Enemies to Lovers, adorable scenes with Grogu, action, angst, a happy ending! I loved the world-building in this, and the alternate story for Boba--especially in his personal journey. I highly recommend this one (and its prequel)!
2) Broken Threads by @sadiebwrites
Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Rated T, 78k+ words.
Brooooo, this fic!!! Set in the immediate aftermath of RotJ, Luke is dealing with unforseen consequences from his torture aboard the 2nd Death Star, and Din is, as always, a bounty hunter whose conscience hits just in the nick of time. This is a fantastic read for OG trilogy fans (especially lovers of Luke & Leia), Fallen Order fans, and prequel-era Jedia fans (3 cheers for T'ra Saa everyone). A wonderful adventure and slow burn romance, I really recommend this one! I definitely cried, like, twice lol. (No worries, though, it's a happy ending.)
3) Hot for Teacher by @astrangebird
Din Djarn/Cobb Vanth, Rated E, 40k+ words.
I started reading this because I love trans!Din and I also love Cobb Vanth, but then this fic just hit me with ROMANCE and FEELINGS and ugh, I adored it. Set in what I can only describe as a "sorta-modern, but definitely still Star Wars" AU, Din is a Tusken sign language professor and Cobb is the retired sheriff taking a class to fill his sudden free time after an injury. It's a wonderful story with a somewhat messy romance and happy ending, I highly recommend!
4) hunting toward heartstill by @blackkatmagic
Mace Windu/Cody (Main), Rated M, 207k+ words.
Okay, this one is basically a fandom must-read at this point, right? Mace/Cody may be a rarepair, but it's No.1 in my heart thanks to this fic. Not only does it have the ultimate "Fake Relationship/Married" trope (with possibly THE most romantic marriage vows ever), it has some real edge-of-your-seat action and turn-you-to-goo romance. Multiple plot lines are masterfully woven together into a very satisfying end (of the story, and the Clone War). Cannot rec this one enough!
5) Now Comes The Tide by @purplesauris
Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Rated E, 9k+ words.
An absolute banger, I love this fic. It's mostly porn, with a sprinkling of romance and Force sensitive!Din, and also features trans!Din (a personal fave), armor sex, and inappropriate use of the Force (a classic). I loved Luke and Din's chemistry in this fic, and the sex scenes are wonderfully steamy~ I highly recommend this one!
6) The Abyssal Plain by @lyresnake
Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul, Rated E, 25k+ words.
Obi/Maul is a messy fave of mine, they're just so much fun and this fic really demonstrates that. Maul is in his trash planet years when Obi-Wan crash lands and ends up in a very uncivilized situation lol. I loved how this fic portrayed Maul and his entire mess, but also the mess that is Obi-Wan Kenobi. It built a fascinating romance between the two, striking a balance between them that I found really interesting and engaging. Definitely my fave Obi/Maul fic <3
7) A Slow Fall Towards Grace by @glimmerglanger
Obi-Wan Kenobi/Cody, Rated E, 116k+ words.
If you're like me, then you really enjoy seeing Obi-Wan suffer lmao, and this is definitely the fic for you (don't worry, it's got a happy ending, too!). In what I can only describe as Obi-Wan's disastrous journey to love, this fic follows Obi-Wan throughout his life to the end of the Clone War in an A/B/O AU. This fic features some heavy stuff, but it has a satisfying ending and possibly one of my favorite scenes ever in a fic (idk what it was about that birth scene in chapter 5, but the Drama really grabbed me by the throat lol). Really recommend this fic for angst and A/B/O lovers, this one's def for you!
8) Beekeeping and Husbandry by @meggory84
Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Rated M, 135k+ words.
Y'aaaaall this fic. Is. So. Good. I loved the disability rep in this fic, and the whole portrayal of Qui-Gon is probably my favorite of any fics I've read. Heavy on the deep dive on Qui-Gon's character, this fic follows an alternate ending AU of TPM where Obi-Wan "heals" Qui-Gon and Mace gets a terrible vision of the future (aka, he sees everything leading up to his death). Usually with time travel / full-vision of the future AUs, we see things from the POV of the character with all the information trying to save the day--but not in this AU! And I loved that, it made things so interesting. Cannot recommend this one enough!
9) A Safe Haven by @hixystix
Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Rated E, 146k+ words.
Listen, if you're even a little bit of a KalluZeb shipper, or even just a Kallus fan, I cannot recommend this fic enough. Following Kallus's rescue above Atollon, this fic follows Zeb and Kallus through the rebellion and after as they find themselves and each other. I loved Kallus's character development in this, and the world building of life in the rebellion, especially for an ex-Imperial like Kallus. This fic really takes you on an emotional rollercoaster, but the ending is very worth it (and the sex scenes... those are also worth it. Woof.).
10) How the Other Half Lives (series) by @reedroad
Luke Skywalker & Leia Organa (Main), Rated G to T, 660+k words (on-going).
Do I even have the words to describe this series? I'm literally in love. An AU in which Leia goes to the Lars' on Tatooine and Luke to the Organa's on Alderaan, this fic follows the two from childhood through AU-versions of the OG trilogy, and heavily features Ahsoka Tano and Ezra Bridger. What the author does with their world-building and characterizations is just *chef's kiss* perfection. My absolute favorite iteration of Prince Luke Organa and Leia Skywalker with a killer depiction of Darth Vader and Han Solo, this fic has everything you could possibly want in a role-swap AU.
11) Reconstruction Corps AU (series) by @cacodaemonia
Waxer/Boil (Main), Rated G to E, 518k+ words (on-going).
Once again, I'm in love. Not only is cacodaemonia an incredible artist with much of their art featuring in this series, their writing honestly takes my breath away. The sheer depth of emotion in this series!!! If you're a clone fan, I literally cannot rec this series enough. I've laughed, I've cried (a lot), I've rolled around in bed like a happy rolypoly, it truly evokes the full range of emotions lol. Mostly following Waxer and Boil throughout the War and after, this series is just such a heartfelt love letter to the clones and the Star Wars universe itself.
12) a simple thing by @ryehouses
Boba Fett/Din Djarin, Rated E, 700k+ words (on-going)
Originally, I put off reading this fic cause it was just so damn long. And then I started reading it... and didn't stop for, like, a week. This is just one of those fics that you cannot put down. An incredible deep dive on Din Djarin's character, this fic features fantastic world-building (especially for Tatooine), a very well-written BDSM relationship, an exploration of "religious"/cultural trauma and recovery, and a nuanced look at Mandalorian culture and politics. This fic has one of my fave portrayals of both Din and Boba, and I just cannot recommend it enough.
13) Why Not's and How To's by @trixree
Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Clone Troopers, Rated E, 54k+ words (on-going).
Honestly, all I needed to know about this fic was that it’s a “Legally Blonde AU” and I was SOLD. While not following the plot of Legally Blonde, Obi-Wan definitely carries the energy of Elle Woods in this fic. In an AU where Obi-Wan left the Jedi on Melidaan and eventually becomes a lawyer and Darth Maul is never cut down on Naboo (and picks up Anakin along the way), this fic follows both the build-up of Maul and Obi-Wan’s relationship and also Obi-Wan’s attempt to help the clones gain their rights in the Republic. This fic is very fun, and takes an interesting approach to the whole “fixing the Star Wars” fic plot.
14) efface the footprints in the sands by @blackkatmagic
Rex/Agen Kolar/Kix, Rated M, 78k+ words (on-going).
🥺🥺Efface the footprints, my love… Not even finished, and already a comfort fic for me, this fic follows Agen Kolar as he takes over Anakin’s battalion when Anakin faces charges for his slaughter of the Tuskens. He must not only deal with a distraught Captain and Padawan, but a mysterious and dangerous creature lurking in the deep. I love the hurt/comfort in this fic, and the whole atmosphere of the planet and characters really lends itself to the drama of it all. Cannot rec this one enough!!
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