pro tip: if you think you have adhd then don't start a master's program before you even get a diagnosis (also you need a stronger prescription, you have astigmatism, and reading glasses aren't gonna cut it)

hey! i hope this isn’t too personal, but how did u go about getting diagnosed with autism or how did you bring it up to your doctor? i’m pretty sure i have autism but i don’t have a diagnosis and as a woman in her 20s i feel embarrassed 😭

okay so, actually i was having all sorts of issues that i now know are autism related and i didn't really know why and i spoke to my doctor and my therapist about it. they both were actually the ones to tell me i should get tested and they were the ones that referred me to a specialist in my area. my therapist even told me she couldn't diagnose me herself but she was willing to bet on the fact that i was on the spectrum just by what i've told her and the things she observed about the way i talk to her and other ppl when i was doing group therapy, etc. i honestly didn't really know anything about autism other than common knowledge and actually some misconceptions too. i was actually kinda shocked when i was told to get tested. my therapist had given me a referral and was trying for quite a while to get me a date to get tested. and then i brought up my sensory issues to my doctor and had a longg talk with him about other things i was experiencing emotionally and physically. and thats when he suggested getting tested too. after having a 2nd person tell me the same thing i asked if he could help set up an appointment and once HE put in the referral i was scheduled for a test in a matter of like a week or 2. so overall it took 2 separate referrals and about 3 months of waiting for the actual test.

sorry if that sounds confusing. basically when my therapist referred me 3 months went by and then when my doctor put in a 2nd referral it only took about a week. im not sure if it moved along faster because of my doctor or that just happened to be the time i got an appointment. either way it took a little while and it wasn't a quick process.

i've heard other ppl tell me different ways they went about getting a diagnosis. for example my mom's best friend got diagnosed as an adult and she actually scheduled the appointment herself without any referral. so i know it can be done. i really hope you get the answers u are seeking soon! i know i only just recently got a diagnosis but i know how frustrating it can be to not know whats going on with yourself or to feel like an alien most of the time. please don't feel embarrassed. you know yourself better than anybody and if you feel like you may be on the spectrum then you are absolutely right about wanting to get tested. even if you find that you aren't autistic you will at least know for sure and you won't always be wondering. and you may even uncover some other issue that you don't know about.

my bf was tested for autism as a kid and he's not autistic but he found out he had adhd by the same ppl who did the testing. i know it feels awkward especially if you are unsure. i felt the same way leading up to my diagnosis because i truly never imagined that thats what i was dealing with. but after finding out for sure a lot of my anxiety has been eased in a way. because i finally have answers to a lot of things in my life. sorry for the super long post. i've had this in my inbox for a while now and i didn't want to answer it until i had time to sit down and explain everything i know for you💜

i wish you the best of luck and i hope things go smoothly for you🥰

Idk if this is something you feel able to give advice on, but Seeing Wolves Where there are No Wolves is a big comfort to bc I know I too need help & its good to know that it's out there, but I don't know how to start. Like how the hell do you choose a therapist?! I google and still dont get the difference between lpc vs psyd, let alone what questions to ask or how to tell if they're a good fit. Feel free to say pass, but if you have tips I would so greatly appreciate it. thanks and sending love

hello, anon!

im actually able to help with this! im good at finding counselors! (and dentists!)

so, there are a couple of ways to go about this, but the truth of the matter is that if you've never been to therapy, or you're new to an area and are searching for a counselor, you may have to shop around a bit before you find the right fit. This can be emotionally taxing, so seeking out the right one will take some refining.

Acronyms To Know:

MSW: Master of Social Work

M.Ed: Master of Education / M.S.Ed: Master of Science in Education

M.S or M.A: Master of Science and Master of Arts, respectively.

LPC: Licensed Professional Counselor

LMHC: Licensed Mental Health Counselor

LCPC: Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor

LPCC / LCMHC: Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor of Mental Health / Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor

LMHP: Licensed Mental Health Practitioner

MFCC: Marriage, Family and Child Counselor

LCSW: Licensed Clinical Social Worker

DR is someone with a doctorate while MD is for Medical Doctor, and a Ph.D is someone with their doctorate of Philosophy - and all of these are people that are capable of obtaining certifications and licenses in a variety of counseling types, what it means to you is how much time this person has spent in school. In my experience, how much time a person has spent in school is not super indicative of how helpful they are, and it's much more informative to find out how many years they have spent in the field, and what their listed specialties are.

If you've been to counseling before, you may already be aware of what modes of therapy work best for you (Talk Therapy, DBT, CBT, EMDR, etc), but if you found Seeing Wolves to be comforting and that is the kind of therapy you're looking for, you will want to seek out a counselor that specializes in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) and/or Trauma Focused Therapy.

I highly recommend seeing counselors that have at least 5 years in the field, and in particular, at least 5 years of training or experience in dealing with trauma focused therapy. You may see counselors listing years of experience in rehabilitation centers with people who have substance abuse disorders, or working with veterans in VA hospitals and such - these are good indicators that they are aware of, and well practiced in trauma-informed approaches of therapy, even if they aren't specifically licensed or advertised as that.

Remember that your initial meeting with a new counselor is about you sussing THEM out, to see if they're a good fit. It's okay if you don't click right away, or if the vibes are off and you're like 'hmm :T i think im gonna keep looking.'

When picking a counselor, read their bios and work histories - determine if their field work feels relevant to the skills you want in a counselor, and look out for red flags, like 'faith-based approaches' as this can either be PRECISELY what you're looking for, OR it can be extremely limiting and unhelpful if the faith they're basing their practice on is only one, specific faith that does not align with yours.

That's all the advice I can really give on this without knowing what you're specifically struggling with. If you feel comfortable divulging more to me, I can help you narrow down your search more, but I hope this is helpful!!

This is a bit ventish so sorry already

I'm coming to the disability tags for help. I have knee pain so bad it makes me unable to walk at time (hot and cold gel usually doesn't work), similarly to my dad I also have really bad headaches that I kinda just got used to because my mom refused to give me advils or similar things during most of my life. I also have trouble breathing but its confirmed to not be asthma (did the test twice+ lung x ray).

I have a paediatrician , she is pretty bad at her job (not looking more into my leg problems after a blood test, telling me to take melatonin because I said I was way more tired then usually (I sleep just as much) and to stop taking Tylenol to fix my headaches (did not work)). Everyone around me says she is trying her best and agree with her that its "all in my head". I got a social worker by her and said social worker refused to give me a therapist because I am also waiting for autism screening (still don't understand why I can't do both) so they won't even let me confirm that.

I am also going to other doctors for my transition, they said they might give me a therapist if my social worker still refuses so I guess I at least have that? My social worker has been sick for the past 4 months however. I can't contact her for help and because I'm trans , no social worker at school wants to help me because I'm "impossible to help" because "only hormones can make me feel better"

Everyone around me makes me feel like I'm faking being unwell , intentionally or not. I feel like I can't trust my own body scream for help and I don't know what to do. She makes me so depressed I don't actually want to go see her again , thinking about going to her office makes me stressed. Should I just wait until I'm older and hope people take me more seriously , should I just give up in general and suffer ?? Since I have no note from the doctor that say sport is extremely distressing to me because of transness or cannot physically do sport because of my issues I am seen as lazy and am actively forced to do them even tho it hurts me a lot (physically and mentally) to a point where giving my all makes me unable to walk properly for a few days.

Im sorry for coming here for help but I have nobody else to ask.

I feel uncomfortable related to the mental state of the read in Stranger at the Door.

Like I was in her place mentally, but I got good mental help, even my family (mother) isn't the best at least isn't that abusive.

So this fic makes uncomfortable but in good way, like, the worst way that I can ended...

And some details that I have seen and I don't know if I image:

The unhealthy and abuse mother, like when reader told her that she wanted to look for a job, the "mother" makes her feel unable and he emotionally blackmails her.

How the mother likes her now out of her way, but no out, like don't break my illusion of perfect romance, but say and complet my "perfect family". Like mam, isn't normal to engage to some one that your child isn't uncomfortable, yes, she is an adult but lives under your care and home.

It's. Not. Normal.

Because your child is an adult your work isn't done, you still in charge of them (and more in the case of the reader, because if I'm correct, the shitty psychiatrist gives her the legal guardianship, that makes me think that this case have been even worse) and that doesn't give you the right to abuse them.

We don't have here good sides here only bad and worst. Bad Loki because being a and abuser (and Thor too) and worst the mother for being one AND bring home another abuser plus be a horrible mother overall.

Her shitty psychiatric, like, your patient who was remarkably improving suddenly has an episode and regresses significantly, blame her; do not pay attention to the fact that a strange man walked into her home, her mother needs more therapy than her, and that, very importantly, she has just confessed to you that she was sexually abused. Like, is a textbook example! A young, vulnerable and dependent girl with a recent entry of a male relative into her home has a horrible regression to the point of being in a catatatonic state, and the first thing that crosses the mind is that she is being abused; it literally checks all the points of sexual abuse.

(Sadly sexual abuse occurs in the family, to the weakest members, and is well known by any health and legal professional)

I hate mental professionals that do their work like shit, that's even worse than the mother, he knows it's wrong and chooses to ignore it. The one how professionally trained, chose to do the exact opposite of all that is been recommended and taught.

I have been in her position, depressed and auto isolated, but I have been lucky to find the best psychiatrist for me (I have been to countless mental professionals but I didn't connect with them) who I can trust and have treat me with respect and decency.

Yes, my mother haven't change, but at least I have some one who understands that I not broken (and, said in my family, mad) and has the right training to help me.

Sorry for the TED talk, but I see myself in this reader (with the distances that, fortunately, I did not have to go through sexual abuse)

I love this fic, and I know that this is a tragedy, but I don't expect a comedy either (a play with a good ending), I hope for that but I know that you don't write that. I love your tragedies ♥️

Firstly, thanks fo sending this and thank you for reading!

I'm happy you go appropriate help and the therapist in this story is not a good doctor at all. I hope we all can have good help one day.

The mother sets up the reader to be stuck. Somehow she is encouraging bu discouraging. She no doubt has her seeing a doctor who feeds into her own self-righteous opinion that she's her daughter's keeper and has kept her safe. The mom is very selfish and borderline narcissistic.

Loki definitely doesn't help. He's opportunistic and cruel. He sees reader as vulnerable and knows the mom is easily sweet talked and fooled. He easily uses mom pent up resent against the daugter and for his own ends.

Im sorry your mother hasnt taken the effort to look inward but it's a hard fact to sccept that not everyone wants to get better or change. Sadly. And i know for a fact how toxic parent can be.

Wishing you peace 💗

I'm in my twenties and have had anxiety and depression for a while now, and maybe some other undiagnosed conditions (im suspecting ptsd from emotional abuse) and recently this thing has been happening where some idea or concept causes my mind to shut down, I can't think about it and as I try I start panicking and want to cry, because it's like something blocking my brain. At first it was connected to discussions about emotions, so I thought it was trauma response but recently it happened with some dnd creature description which was not triggering and super random. Now I'm thinking maybe I have experienced this before but milder? I don't know, im very confused right now. Would you maybe know if this has a name? Or if it's a symptom of something. I found the term thought blocking but I don't struggle with memory at those moments. I imagine the panic feels akin to claustrophobia. And you just can't think even simple thoughts, like that specific random topic is locked behind a wall and it feels terrible because it's a very simple action, like if you wanna pick up a coin and then your body refuses, that but with thinking. Hope it makes at least some sense, thank you in advance

Hey there,

Have you ever sought any mental health advice or support? To me (and I am not a professional I am just going on my own experiences and what you have mentioned) but it sounds like you may be going through some kind of dissociation. There are many different types of dissociation, hence the asking if you have ever sought any mental health advice or for any help or support?

It can be so scary when your mind begins to shut down and you can’t even think the simplest of things and get your body to cooperate to do what you want it to.

There are a number of things that may cause a person to dissociate (if this is what you have – again I am not a professional) it could be a trigger which may be something that you are conscious of or it could be something that may trigger you subconsciously that you are not aware of which may help to explain why this might have happened with what normally doesn’t trigger you if that makes sense?

It can be hard to come out of something like dissociation but with a lot of hard work and practice it is possible to help train your mind I guess you could call it to try to come out of it. Have you ever heard of grounding? This is something that I have found very helpful, we have a page on different grounding techniques that you can check out here.

I would definitely recommend you seeing your local doctor or GP though for help and advice and if needed then a referral to see a counsellor or therapist. They would be able to best help you with helping to explain what you are going through, possible reasons and causes and of course different coping strategies that may be helpful for you to use.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren  

hi i hope this isnt a weird question to ask but. uhm tomorrow i have to tell my therapist about a maybe-psychotic-depression episode i had last week and im like, Nervous:tm: and unsure how or what to say? this is probably So stupid to ask but is there. i dont know. a script for this kind of thing, a limit to what i should disclose (im trying to avoid institutionalization, im in college and i cant afford to miss class)? therapy in general is new to me and while ive maybe had episodes like this in the past, the one i had last week was a new level of intense, too, so im just very out of my depth. thank you so much if you reply to this and if you cant thats okay too <3

This took me a long time to get around to. This probably won't help you in particular, anon, but I hope it helps others.

I will disclaim before this post that I have had extremely traumatic experiences in therapy. I came out of therapy with more disabilities and more severe ones than when I went in, and at least one of my therapists can be pinned as a direct cause. That will color this post.

The problem of therapy and disclosure is that... therapists are people, and they are people whose word holds an incredible amount of sway when considering how to act in regards to their clients. That sway is a problem because of how ableism and specifically saneism interact with the medical industry and with society. We are not seen as arbiters of our experiences. They are seen as the authorities on us. Everything you disclose will be filtered through the therapist, all of their prejudices and preconceptions, before it becomes something that the medical system will take seriously.

Amplifying this is the unavailability of therapy and how very few therapists are also mentally ill. If they are, it's even rarer to find one with a disorder that is considered "threatening"- for a reason. The inventor of DBT was BPD, and the second she revealed this, she was essentially exiled from her community. This means, in order, that a) a lot of people have to either adapt to their therapist or go without therapy and b) that therapists can very rarely actually relate to the experiences of clients that need heavy-duty help.

They might be presented as cutesy and "just here to help", but therapists are still medical professionals administering medical treatment with medical authority, and should be treated by disabled people with every caution that you treat a normal doctor with.

As such, this is my advice.

a) Don't disclose any heavy duty symptoms or trauma until you've tested them on some lighter topics, and they've handled them well. "Well" means not denying your experiences, respecting boundaries that you put up, and not acting like mental illness being in your head means you can think yourself well in a few hours. To define "heavy duty" generally, think about what you would put behind a trigger warning for an audience of adults.

b) Don't sign anything without reading it in full. If you don't understand it, tell them you need time to understand it before you can sign it. If they respond to this by telling you to just sign it or that it's not important, that should send alarm bells clanging in your head.

c) Request your medical record. Even if you're not concerned about your therapist, it lets you see their notes. It can be very informative.

d) If they pass as a decent person, then only one disclosure should get you institutionalization: confessing that you are going to hurt yourself or another person. If you can't afford institutionalization, and this is a problem for you, then you are going to have to find ways to deal with that without telling your therapist that. This is actually very easy. As long as you don't tell them that the feeling is current, you can ask for advice. "I sometimes have problems with wanting to hurt myself. Can you help me?" or "I worry that I might do harm to other people- what can I do to avoid that?" are great ways to phrase it that should still get you help as long as you can keep them in the past or future tense. If either of these is an active problem for you, seek whatever help you safely can.

e) Understand that therapy is medical treatment. It is very possible to perform great healing with it. It is also very possible to perform great medical malpractice.

You only have one mind. Be careful who you trust with it.

Tw suicide

Hi I just wanted to say something about your therapists are scam post and that they don't work something something I don't remember the details. And this is my experience with therapy and suicidal thoughts, and the treatment might vary in different countries. But my point is, if you are on a blink of suicide, therapy is not your place to be. Like if you are actively suicidal, if you have specific thoughts or plans, your emotional pain in 10/10, and you are not in right condition to be in therapy. Your therapist needs to know that you have these thoughts, but you need more help than what therapy can offer you atm.

People go to ER about bee sting, but think that being suicidal is not like 'big enough reason' to get help. But you deserve help. And you need to see a doctor or someone idk it's different from where I live but therapy is not a right treatment when you are this suicidal. And im sorry that your experience with your therapist hasn't felt helpful, but there is hope that you will find the right help to you, I believe in you!

unfortunately unless ur literally unconscious in the ER from a suicide attempt they don't care here :/ at least thats been my experience, not saying it’s that way for everyone always but. i've had an ambulance come to my house 12 hrs after they were called because i tried to kms, and all they did was make me eat chocolate (to "get my blood sugar up" ) and then ask if i'm ok, make me fill out paperwork and leave. so i rly have no faith in them or the idea that going to them would help, though i totally get what you mean. also yeah i do think that's partially why therapy just does not work for me. i think another factor is that it's more suicidal ideation w extreme moments of high risk suicidality rather than constant high risk suicidality. so idk it's all a mess really but it is what is it, they don't take that seriously here. also no worries, i've had a lot of good moments w therapy despite the negative experiences and even just having someone there i can talk to feels nice. thank u angel <3 hope ur having a great day today x

babe. babe, im so so sorry you had to go through that. um, if your friends are mad because you left because the owner is a white supremacist, it hurts a lot, no doubt about that, but maybe youre better off without them. ask your landlord if they can give you a break or maybe start a kofi page? im sure some of your followers would help out. im very sorry you and your gf parted. its horrible and awful and all i can recommend is finding something to snuggle, a pet or a warm pillow helps. about your roommate, that must be a very sorrowful thing. im sorry she had to leave. i hope you find a good one soon.

about the rape. lovely, i know you lost your primary care doc, but there are clinics and places that can help you. please, please, even if its just searching for five minutes, try and seek them out. if there are any planned parenthoods nearby, or their equivalent, or free clinics, or hey, some universities offer free therapies and pro bono um, sessions be it with a doctor or a therapist. just. please. dont put it away in a bottle and metaphorically toss it away. please, talk to someone. if you feel uncomfy about it being a stranger, a friend, virtual or not.

please dear. i know its hard and sometimes you just want to go to sleep for a thousand years, please talk to someone. find out where the nearest clinic is. you dont have to go, but the information will help you, ground you. youll know youll have a place to go if you should need it. also, and im very sorry if this, um, is trigger the word? i mix them up, if there is a womans shelter or a mans shelter, maybe pass by?

just know that whatever you need, you have people that care about you and wish you well. i hope things get better and i hope you can at least get a break from your landlord.

-someone who cares very much for you

Thanks for this. Losing the friends at the dungeon sucked, but you're right. If they're willing to stay members after finding out the owner is a literal proud boy, fuck'em. I have a new pcp, but I can't meet with them until February. I have had medical treatment for the rapes, don't worry. As for therapy- Thanks for the tips! I'll do that when things calm down. As for a kofi, I do have one actually for my main. If you want to donate, by all means but don't feel like you need too just because I have had a shit month and wrote a fic you liked. I still can't thank ya'll enough for your support. You're wonderful. https://ko-fi.com/neala_draws

I also want to clarify, I'm poly so I still have one gf left. I love her deeply and I'm not alone. But any poly person can tell you, it doesn't make getting dumped any easier. <3 That said, I'm tough as fuck and I'll be okay.

(So this isn't sexual by any means but I guess I just need to vent.)

I'm beyond stressed the fuck out. I know, I know people have it worse then I do. My life's not that bad. I've recently have been spiraling.

My self loathing is through the roof. I'm constantly thinking about how badly I hate myself and how I clearly don't care about my weight enough to deal with my problem.

I'm normally this goodie two shoes girl with a foul mouth and a tomboyish attitude. However I didn't drink or do drugs.

I'm 25 and I'm finding myself so stressed out that I'm lashing out at my spouse. Without meaning too. I don't think my medications are working anymore. (How do they just stop?!)

I've been drinking everyday and I'm trying to get my hands on some edibles (which isn't hard but I'd rather get it from people I trust not a stranger. I'm spiraling but I'm still cautious)

I just don't know what to do. I feel like crying and screaming.

I have an appointment with my primary care doctor about my medications but they can't get me in til like April 10th.

I'm afraid for what that means for me.

having been a SH I'm afraid. Terrified even..

I know this is depressing and dark I just.

I'm sorry. If this is to much just write a post saying it is.

im going to preface this by saying that there’s absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. yes other people are struggling and it can feel selfish to focus on yourself at times but that’s because you are the center of your own world and it’s a good thing to invest time in yourself, especially when you are struggling.

but im not sure im the best person to help you if im being honest, and i appreciate that you’re probably mostly looking for a place to vent, and that’s cool too.

the only advice i can really even think to give is to focus on the fact that you do have an appointment with your doctor coming up. and it’s further away than you’d like, but it will definitely remedy some aspects of your problem at the very least. so that’s a huge positive. and if it’s at all possible it would probably be worth talking to your doctor about getting a referral to a therapist, or counselor even, if your symptoms aren’t helped by your medication alone.

i know you’ve said you’re lashing out at your spouse but if you have someone else in your life that you feel comfortable talking to i think it’s important that you do that. just having a support system can go a long way in improving your mental health.

and if you genuinely do need a more qualified person to talk to than me, there are plenty of phone or text based help centers, depending on where you live they’re different, but i know Crisis Line is global and they have plenty of trained volunteers with much better resources than i do, and they really might be able to give you some guidance or actionable advice.

in the meantime, if you need a place to vent im still here, but i really hope things start to turn around for you soon ❤️

I wasn't planning to be unemployed for as long as I've been (almost an entire year now with the exception of a job i held for two months but was terrified of something similar happening to me that caused me to leave my last job) and my partner has been so supportive and she really is amazing being the breadwinner. but we just can't afford to only have one income any longer. Plus I've been feeling guilty as HELL about it.

I've been hesitant to get back to work partly because dealing with antimaskers was a nightmare the short amount of time I have worked during this pandemic. and partly because I have really bad respiratory issues but now that I'm getting my second vaccine next week I don't have that as an excuse anymore.

I'm glad your family is so supportive and understanding. Thanks for letting me vent in your ask I feel like my friends (while non of them say it) think I'm being a giant baby about having to work another shitty job. because a lot of people work shitty jobs and just deal with it. but WHY. like why are we all so complacent in this hellscape we call society? we were not born for misery. and we absolutely weren't born to be yelled out over things out of our control. I really wanted to find a work from home job or at least a job I wasn't working with costumers but the only places hiring/calling me back based on my experience are costumer service jobs. and retail I think caused some of my worst anxiety issues and it certainly made my depression much worse. but here I am going back to it. like. the pandemic has been stressful but I've felt much better not being berated by people on a daily basis or doing work so soul crushing I feel like my brain is rotting.

I do plan to talk to my doctor and I really want to find a therapist but im having a hard time finding someone accepting clients or who specalizes in the shit I already should have been seeing a therapist for in the first place. im still young enough to be on my parents health insurance at the very least but thats another reason I had to get this job. I turn 26 next year. I feel like I've done nothing with my life. I don't want to die I don't think but I don't want to live like this.

I’m glad you have a supportive partner <3

I don’t think you’re being a baby about it, tbh I think you’re being realistic. It’s shitty as hell that people have to work, have to put up with the worst conditions just to keep themselves alive. Yes, a lot of people do put up with it, and maybe, in practical terms, you’ll have to tolerate it for a while as well... but it isn’t bad to recognize how shitty it is and to want to find another way.

I obviously don’t know any specifics about you or your situation so I can’t, like, offer specific advice, but-- if there is a kind of work you can picture yourself doing, perhaps working towards that as a goal can help ease the pain of your current situation? Like. Teach yourself new skills on your days off, when you have the capacity. Or take online classes, or try to find a community (a writing group, if you want to be a writer, that sort of thing). I talk about using distractions to keep myself from going under, but distractions are even more effective when they feel productive.

Retail is the actual worst and I hope you find a way to get out of it. I ended up stumbling into a manufacturing job, before the pandemic, and the simple fact that I never had to deal with customers made it the best “I have to work to survive” job I’ve ever had. (Not that manufacturing jobs are particularly great, but at least it wasn’t retail, you know?)

It’s funny, I find myself wanting to say things to you that are basically what I need to hear right now-- I’m 36 and I feel like I have done nothing with my life, and I don’t particularly want to die but I also don’t want to keep living like this. I don’t know if it will help you to hear, but my friends are always quick to assure me that even if I feel like I have contributed nothing, my presence in their lives is worthwhile, and I contribute simply by existing. So that’s what I will say to you: your existence, your life, and your presence in the lives of those around you is worthwhile. You exist, and therefore you have not done nothing; your existence makes the world better for the people around you. You do not need to earn your place. You are more than your job, more than your productivity, and the good you bring to the world by being you is more than enough.

Hey negan, i feel like im going crazy. I kust wish someone could appreciate me. I have everything pent up inside me that i know im going fucking insane. The only people that love me are my mom, dad, and sister. They're the only reason why im still alive. I can't kill my self because that i dont want them to feel like it was their fault. I feel like the stress is going to make me explode. I feel like i can't do anything right and i don't deserve good.

Darlin’, I just wanna hug you so tight and fucking never let you go. I want you to feel wanted, needed, loved. Because you are all of those, and so much more. I hate that you are in such a place that you can’t see it, know it. I hate that your mind is telling you things that are so not true.

First things first, let me hold ya for a bit, I won’t bite, love, promise. A hug can cure a lot you know? Now, what’s this about feeling like you can’t do anything right? Sweetheart, you do plenty right, most especially getting up and facing each day, surviving to see each glorious sunrise, that is some amazing shit right there. Do you realize just how much courage that takes? The strength you must have? I wish you could see just how astounding that is.

And right now, maybe all the love you need is your family, at least until you’re in a better place. But let me tell you a little secret, I care for you, I love you. Always will. And I will do everything in my power to help you realize just how magnificent you are, how you deserve more than the world seems to be offering you at this moment. And I hope that you will learn to love yourself as much as I do

Something a little serious here, putting my fucking Dad shoes on, are you seeing someone, like a counselor, therapist? Sometimes a fresh take on our situation, most especially from a professional, can be a great help. How about medications? Have you tried them before? Not suggesting you need them, I’m far from a fucking professional, but maybe a talk with your family doctor is in order. I’ve benefited from some help before.

Okay, now that the serious shit’s outta the way, how about we do something fun? Got any suggestions? Maybe watch some old movies, play some cards, or my favorite, ping-pong? We could even make our own ice cream sundaes, fuck I love that marshmallow and shit!

Doll, I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but someday you will feel better, you will be in a better place. Both body and mind. I have faith in you and what you will become. You are fucking going places, love, don’t let anything, or anyone, hold you back!

I’ll be with you in spirit, always

XO Negan

hii im sorry i don't know who to talk but im having severe (not that severe but it worries me) pains on different parts of my body. im searching everything and it leads me to one possible cause which is depression. im so scared to go to the doctor yet i want to get treated. i don't want to confirm but i think im having some symptoms of it. is it normal for your head to hurt and suddenly have an urge to cry? i also feel extremely sad and happy sometimes without reasons. i don't know what to do :(

Oh omg bubbie I’m so sorry to hear that :( I’m not really a therapist or something so I really can’t help with what it could be and if it’s normal to feel that way! mental illnesses share quite a few symptoms so it could be depression but it could be something else. even if it is depression however there’s really no need to be scared of it! like yeah it’s terrifying and yeah no one ,,,, wants (or should) want to be mentally ill but even if you are it doesn’t mean the entire world is ending. you will learn to live with it and you will eventually learn to accept that it is a pretty prevalent part of you. at least that’s what I can say goes for my experience with depression!! honestly, I would say definitely go see a doctor or a therapist because again it could be depression or it could be something else! you never know until you find out. finding out will also give you a peace of mind (at least it does for me) because then I don’t need to spend time being anxious and worrying about what it could be since i have an answer for it!! I hope this helps my love and I hope you stay strong and no that whether you’re mentally ill or not that you are still a wonderful human being and that you’re loved!

Hey... I know this is a lot to ask of someone, but I was wondering if you have any advice on dealing with depression. I'm scared to ask for help because I'm a minor, and I don't want my parents to worry, but some days it's just so hard. Sorry to bother you.

hi! you’re not bothering me and im glad you asked for help. i’ve got a lot of advice for you! :)

the first step is to look for support, which you are doing and it’s really good! I don’t know how old you are, but if telling your parents is not an option, then you don’t have to! i really encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to however. this can be an older sibling, a relative, a friend, a teacher, etc. i do think that talking to someone who is a bit older or who you know has experience with this kind of stuff, either personal or professional is a good option since in some cases friends your own age might not be as well equipped to deal with these kind of problems. but of course friends can be very wise and helpful as well! everyone’s situation is different. even if they can’t provide you with like professional therapy it helps when you don’t have to hide how you feel all the time and just have someone to hug you when you need it.

take yourself seriously. i know this phrase is overused on tumblr, but your feelings are valid. this at least was a problem for me, thinking that “its not sooo bad……. i’ll manage……. people have it worse……” etc. but if you feel that you are depressed then you are. you are not faking and depression is an illness that needs treatment just like any other. it might feel embarassing or like a failure to ask for help but its not. depression is actually really common. there is help to get and you should get it.

Your school probably provides a therapist/counselor of some sort. even if it feels scary i really recommend that you see them and discuss your situation. either they can help you there, or they can refer you to someone else. I dont know where you’re from but i’m almost 100% sure that they don’t have the right to tell your parents.

i also recommend googling a little bit on where you can turn with these sort of issues in the area where you live. for example what clinic and such. you can also read a bit about depression online and doctors that you can ask anonymously for advice. even if you don’t feel like you’re ready to contact a doctor or therapist it can be nice to know what your options are. but these things your counselor can also help you with!

asking for help is not easy, it’s scary as fuck. i’m not gonna lie, it took me years until i did, but i really don’t recommend that…. hahha. finding people on tumblr to talk to can also be really good! it really helps when you find someone who understands and has gone through similar things.  it will be hard at first but it will be worth it.

here are also a few practical things you can do in everyday life that personally have helped me:

write down your feelings and try to make sense of them, why are you sad? what makes you feel depressed? is there something you can change? sometimes it helps A LOT just to identify negative behaviors and actively changing them. if for example you see a pattens that you feel really bad at night when you’ve just been on tumblr for 5 hours, thats a negative behavior and you need to change it. when you start feeling bad, close your laptop, and do something else! read a book or just walk into another room or whatever you can think of that might better your mood!

go on walks! i know this is a standard advice but there is a reason for that. when you’re depressed it’s really easy to isolate yourself and get stuck in your own mind and it really helps to change your scenery, move your body, get fresh air and just see that there is a world that exists outside of your own head. go outside at least once every day. 

another cliché advice is yoga. i really like yoga with adriene on youtube, cause every workout is only about 20-30 minutes and its chill cause you can just do it alone in your room :P

instead of binge watching tv shows i’ve started watching documentaries, it’s really good for me cause if you only watch one documentary instead of like 5 hours of tv you don’t get stuck as easily. you also learn a lot of stuff and you feel productive! if you want any tips for good netflix documentaries or something just hit me up!

you can also follow @depressionresource here on tumblr for a lot of good advice!

i really hope some of this could help you. good luck and i’m rooting for ya! ♥

Today I found out that my parents won't even bat an eye when I hold a knife to my neck I've got nobody to reach out to and nobody gives a fuck about my pathetic ass No I don't have friends No the psychologists aren't help No talking has only made it worse The only damn thing holding me back is my cat who gets separation anxiety when I'm not around No I can't move out either I'm broke I can't even afford to eat Im a legitimate lost cause and here I am still clawing at a grain of hope help me

Hi love,

I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. How did you find out that your parents won’t even bat an eye when you hold a knife to your neck? What happened exactly?

It’s good that you’re in treatment, even though it might not be helping much at the moment. Some treatment is always better than no treatment. How long have you been in therapy for? Keep in mind that sometimes it takes a while before you can start to see the positive effect of therapy (like months). In fact, I think I read somewhere that you need at least 6 months to a year of therapy for it to be beneficial.

Have you seen a doctor or psychiatrist yet? When it comes to treating mental illness, it’s always best to have a team of therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, etc. A doctor/psychiatrist will be able to prescribe you medication, which a psychologist can’t do. I’m a firm believer that the best treatment for depression or any type of mental illness is a combination of medicine and therapy. There’s also different types of therapy: like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) or DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). So if one type of therapy isn’t working for you, it might be worth trying a different type.

Honestly, the fact that your cat is holding you back from hurting yourself is a good thing. Anything that keeps you from hurting yourself - no matter how small - is a good thing. Your cat loves you and depends on you. If you were to die, your cat would be devastated. It sounds silly, but it’s true.

You’re not a lost cause. Nobody is a lost cause as long as they are still alive.  You can be helped and you can get better! The only people that can’t be helped are those who are dead. Right now, it may seem like you’re in a dark tunnel with no way out. But just because you can’t see the end doesn’t mean it’s not there. You have no idea what is right around the corner. You have no idea what doors will open in the near future. As long as you are alive, there is hope. As long as you are alive, things can get better! So hold on to that hope with all of your might. I actually think it’s admirable that you’re holding on to hope despite everything you’ve gone through and everything you’re going through. That’s a really good trait to have, and I think that will be what saves you in the end.

Please keep me updated,

I really don't have friends. I have a hard time connecting with people on a personal level. People tend to judge me bc of my addiction & PTSD episodes. A lot of people my age like to just go to bars or party. I rather do quieter things. I been so lonely and alone. No one texts or calls me or anything. Im just having a hard time. At my job either everyone is 40+ or under 19+ yrs old. It's not even bc of the covid stuff.

Hey lovely,

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling! I can imagine it feels very lonely when you don’t really have friends and no one to connect with. It definitely won’t be like this forever though! There is hope <3 

While it might be true that a lot of people your age like to go to bars or parties, that is not for everyone and that’s okay! You’re not the only one who doesn’t like to do those things though. The difficulty is meeting the people who are in the same boat as you. The people who like to do quieter things or prefer to stay at home rather than going out. A good example of how you could people like this, is for example by joining a book club. I don’t want to put a stereotype in place, but the likelihood of meeting people who like quieter things is higher at a book club than at a party. A book club is an example, but I think that would be the direction to look into.

You might also want to look into joining online communities. I met some of my best friends online and even though it can be really hard that they don’t live close to me, it makes it extra special when I get to see them again and I wouldn’t want to miss out on having them in my life for a second! 

Age differences at work can be really tough! It can feel like you fall in between. But the nice thing is that there is one thing you have in common; work! That is always a topic of conversation, which I’ve found really helpful to connect with my coworkers. I’m younger than all of my coworkers and they’re at all really different places in life; getting babies, having kids move out, buying houses, etc. So while those aren’t really topics we can relate to each other, I do like to hear them talk about what’s going on in their life. And they seem to want to know what’s going on in my life as well. So while it started as talking about work, it gradually moved on from there and I now would consider them my friends. So I can definitely recommend giving it a try, even if there is an age difference! Even if it only is during a walk on your lunch break, it’s a start! 

Are you currently receiving professional help for your addiction and PTSD? If you aren’t yet, I’d recommend visiting your GP / local doctor and explain to them briefly what’s been going on. They can arrange a referral to a therapist, counsellor, or other mental health professional. You can read more about getting help here. I also think it would be beneficial to bring up the loneliness you’ve been experiencing. You don’t have to deal with this all by yourself! I hope this helped at least a little bit. Let us know if there’s anything else we can help out with. 

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard. Love Pauline