#i don't even need him and Elrond to be Together or whatever I just want them to be on good terms alsdkgh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

runawaymun · 1 year

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6 and 11 for partake please :)

6. Does this chapter/fic have any twists that you’re proud of?

I don't really consider myself much of a twist writer, but one perhaps unforseen and unfortunate consequence that is in full force in this chapter comes from Elrond regaining his Music -- which has led to him really getting the strength of his Sight back at perhaps the best worst possible time for it. On the one hand I'm very glad that Elrond was able to heal in time for how close we're getting to Sauron's return. On the other hand it's very inconvenient for him to be wracked with The Horrors & saying Strange and Unpleasant Things to his boyfriend.

I do really hope that Gil's arc will come as a (pleasant and hopefully not too-out-of-left-field) surprise, but again I'm not going to force it if he simply Refuses to Develop. In any case I am beating him with a rolled up newspaper on the nose in a desperate attempt because he's one of those very troublesome antagonists who has a chance of turning out okay in the end if he actually is willing to admit he fucked up and put in a real effort to do better.

But like idk will he? That's the question of the last section of the fic & that's up to him.

11. was already answered here but I'll answer again for a different scene because I like talking about this fic:

It's a very smol scene. Like perhaps a sentence or so, but I'm very excited for the moment that Elrond actually decorates his room in Lindon :)

(ask game)

#don't fret all ye brimbrond stands they're still endgame #but if I CAN make it brimbrond + gil is also on good terms I WILL #because I like OT3s #but I won't force it #to partake #i mostly just want Gil to Not Be an Asshole by the end of this fic #i don't even need him and Elrond to be Together or whatever I just want them to be on good terms alsdkgh #but oh god is Gil just SO Stinky #how does the saying go? it's rotten work? like i'll do it but christ alive?#ah to be a writer with a Wet Bastard of an Antagonist whom you against all odds somehow Don't Completely Hate #he's my problem child #re: that first tag *stans but i'm not rewriting all those tags

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stacytea · 6 months

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Let me drop some ideas that I haven't been able to kick out of my head lately

there we go

1 ) muchacho

so I've been casually doing my lessons on duolingo , when suddenly I've been blessed with this word being brought back around. Since my last encounter with this word had been while watching the movie ,,Coco" my brain quickly brrrrrrrrred and what came out of it is:

kindnap family in spanish

and yes I could say here how much I would love to see them in a setting similar to that one episode of ofmd where we have Jim's backstory and everyone is just so badass

but the truth is

what I desire is just to read a spanish fic where Mae calls teenage Elros muchacho , like idk , it's cute and feels like something Mae would say. Sure english ,kid' is nice

but muchacho @everyone

idk I've just grown to like this word a lot

basically could've just shortened it to ,Mae calling Elros muchacho' , but I'm in the mood for some ramble

2 ) ,,She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green" (from ,,The Last Great American Dynasty" by Taylor Swift")

so another idea that I bring to the table today is my favourite line from my favourite song (yes, I'm a swiftie)

now everyone close your eyes and imagine it with

Irissë

Celery

& Huan

basically story happens back in Valinor when they're still young and having fun

imagine Irissë getting angry at Tyelko because he's a dumbass (affecionate) or just wanting to mess with him or trying to win a bet with someone or whatever reason

just let's have it result with her stealing Huan for a day or a night and

KEY LIME GREEN HUAN!!!!!

by Irissë

and then Tyelko sees it the next day and falls down crying because ,,NOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOO , EVERYTHING & EVERYONE , BUT NOT HUAN, NOOOOOOO; IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ONE OF MY BROTHERS IRISSË! WHY NOT MAGLOR IRISSË?! "

(confused Maglor in the background)

two days later Celery is still trying to wash the dye off of his dearest friend ; ,,how could she do it to you? *crying intensifies

Note: no magical dog was hurt during these happenings ~ Huan didn't really mind this short change in looks

3 ) Argon and golden ribbons

here I just drop an image of little Argon braiding some stolen from Fingon golden ribbons into his hair because he wants to be like his big brother

and Fingon sees it and just melts

and this is because these moments where he feels like the big brother he is are so rare , mainly because he personally radiates this kind of younger sibling energy

Irissë treats him almost as if they were twins (they have very similar personalities and both of them are secretly dating a fëanorian cousin, just so many things in common between them) , Turgon basically took over being the oldest siblingTM in this family and he may not have told him that it's because he sucks at being an eldest brother figure, but Fingon doesn't need him to voice these thoughts to be aware of them

so yeah, Turgon steals the older brother vibe while Irissë and Fingon just vibe the younger sibling vibe together, but then Argon appears in the picture....

and by that time Fingon has grown up enough to pass the big bro vibe check

so Argon does acknowledge him as the big brother

and Argon wants to be like him

and Argon braids golden ribbons into his hair to look like him

and Argon looks up to him for all of his childhood and even a little longer

and then adult Argon follows him at Alqualondë

and Argon gets doomed

and Argon dies

and it's all because of him

and Fingon might've never agreed with Turgon's overall opinion of him not being a good older brother , but as he looks at his little brother's dead body he wonders

he wonders if Turgon might be right

(okay, enough angst for today)

(or is it?)

4 ) ,,Marjorie" by Taylor Swift

and as much as this whole song gives me the vibe of adult Elrond in Lindon reminiscing his fëanorian upbringing (don't get me started on the angst of him not being allowed to speak about his childhood openly because ,,wdym you consider those MURDERERS your parents alongside your actual parents?????? Oh you poor traumatised thing!!!!!" )

anyway

let me focus here on the

,,The autumn chill that wakes me up/ [...] / Long limbs and frozen swims/ You'd always go past where our feet could touch"

part

let's think about these autumn days that are awfully cold in the morning , but then at noon it's almost as warm as during cooler summer days

now let's imagine Mae taking E&E to a nearby lake , so they can learn/practice swimming

(I imagine Mae would consider swimming a potentially important survival-enabling skill and deem it important for E&E to learn it)

ofc they would have to bring a small troop with them because it's apocaliptic end of first age Beleriand and there are orcs everywhere , but still Mae bringing the kids to the lake would be a very fun ,cherished moment for all of them. Mae being tall and going far from the shore, Elros always trying to follow him without caring that water gets too deep for him, Maglor seeing this and having a heart attack Maglor repeatedly telling Elros not to go past where his feet can touch. Elros going anyway, because Maedhros is there, so even if something happens, it's not like he's gonna die dad Mae would save him. Maglor forbiding Mae from taking them to the lake because this little shit Elros is a menace to himself Mae secretly taking them to the lake anyways because ,,they NEED to know how to swim, Mags , you don't understand , what if they DIE someday due to not knowing how to swim????'' let me quote the song again ,,The autumn chill that wakes me up/ [...] / Long limbs and frozen swims'' Mae waking them up early, so they can leave before his little brother is up; and it's still quite early when they arrive at the lake, so the water is freezing And then, centuries later, in Lindon it's just Elrond and these memories because the rest of the family is dead, gone, dead

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anghraine · 1 year

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This is the longer version of my other post about young Denethor, and mostly some disorganized thoughts/headcanons about Elvish/Númenórean mental powers (please do not quote Osanwe-kenta at me, I'm familiar with it and don't care):

I think it's interesting, wrt the "powers of mind" seen in LOTR and discussed in UT/the Silm, that having a strong rapport or good relationship seems important. It's not that both sides of the communication would need to have the same abilities—I don't think Númenórean horses were themselves telepathic! But telepathically summoning them seems to have only been a widespread thing when there was a strong tie between master and horse. The good relationship, even between masters and horses, appears to ease the exertion of sharing thoughts or summoning animals or whatever.

I also think it's pretty clear that some people are just better at it than others. There's no doubt in my mind that Galadriel is better at that kind of thing than Elrond or Celeborn, but they can all share thoughts together when they want to (aided by their emotional closeness).

I think Galadriel also seems a lot readier to use it than most people are—I mean, Men can lie to the sons of Fëanor without being suspected. It seems a bit odd if the Fëanorians could question people the way Galadriel does the Fellowship and just ... didn't. But they, and most Elves in general, seem much less in the habit of perceiving other people's thoughts or reading their hearts accurately than Galadriel.

Sometimes I wonder if that sort of thing would be considered kind of rude among Elves. It can be resisted, for sure (see: Denethor), but the point where you're trying to reach out to someone telepathically and they're trying to eject you has become direct conflict. And there is effort involved in attempting intrusion or mental domination of some kind, which seems like it would raise the stakes of any reluctant encounter.

Gandalf says that Denethor was "too great" to be telepathically dominated, not that nobody could be, and UT suggests that Saruman was fundamentally dominated by Sauron amidst his own plots where Denethor never came to support Sauron at all. Yet Denethor's rejection was not an automatic victory based on opposition to Sauron but something that took an enormous degree of exertion that aged him by decades. Aragorn is also strained and haggard after contesting Sauron over the palantír, a contest in which he's particularly bolstered by his rights as heir of Elendil.

On the flip side, Gollum is strained by contesting Faramir's reading of him. The light goes out of his eyes, and he's at best partially successful—Faramir notes that Gollum's mind is unusually dark and closed to him, yet he comes away knowing that Gollum is a murderer and full of malice, and "saw clearly in his mind" that Gollum is hiding something about Cirith Ungol. Gollum seems to experience some sort of pain when he tries to lie to Faramir about it (something the traitorous Men of the Silm had no difficulty doing to Elves), which it's difficult to envision Faramir inflicting on purpose.

So I have this vague headcanon that, among both Elves and Númenóreans, this is not actually a casual thing to do except when you're very close to someone and they're clearly cool with it. Galadriel does it more because of a) her personality and b) her exceptional facility with it, perhaps unequaled by any other child of Ilúvatar.

Meanwhile among the Dúnedain, I imagine that a similar sort of unspoken protocol has long been in place, and would be reinforced among the Northern Dúnedain through contact with the Elves. This is even more the case for Aragorn, raised among the Elves himself. He definitely can reach out to at least some degree; per above, he gets through the conflict with Sauron via the palantír with his mind and integrity intact, and is the victor of a mental challenge with the Mouth of Sauron, who in the book is a Númenórean sorcerer.

But he doesn't seem to do it much—maybe because of his upbringing, maybe because it's very obtrusive and adversarial if you're trying to be at all subtle, maybe because he's good at it but not good enough to rely on it except where it's absolutely necessary. His only failure in this regard was in concealing his true identity from Denethor, who seems to have realized who "Thorongil" was back in their younger years because he could look "further and deeper" than other people. We don't know if Aragorn even knew that Denethor had identified him iirc—it doesn't seem that either wanted direct conflict, so it's hard to say how that went.

But one idea I have is that the ability has become quite rare among Númenóreans and there wasn't anyone to actually teach Denethor how it works or any norms around it or anything. I imagine that people can kind of roll with it with Faramir because they're so used to weird uncanny stuff from Denethor. After all, they just sort of assume that Denethor is mentally tangling with Sauron and it's aging him, but something he can do. Faramir can command animals to obey his will and all the soldiers are just like "yeah, that's a thing he does" with zero explanation, but under Denethor's shadow ... sure, why not.

But Denethor is nearly ninety at this point and has been Steward for decades. What about when Denethor was a child? How long did it take to realize he wasn't like other people of his time? Exactly how much was remembered, and how strange did he seem back then?

I do think it was a relief that Boromir turned out so normal, and would be spared the isolation and strains of Denethor's existence. But it was very complicated with Faramir, who despite everything, probably owes a lot of what he knows to Denethor—but it would only have been so much.

#and then denethor dies and he's got an elf-raised king and then actual elves on his doorstep #long post #anghraine babbles #denethor #faramir #legendarium blogging #team dúnedain #húrinionath #anghraine's headcanon #galadriel #legendarium fanwank

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liminal-zone · 2 years

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okay but lowkey the timeline fuckery of how in silm canon celeborn and galadriel having celebrían around SA300 and I don't think there's ever really any.. idk how to put it. 'my husband is dead maybe I dunno I havent seen him in forever' sort of scenario or whatever? happening? that would be comparable to what they're trying to pull in trop? but we know that elrond and her get married! and they Mention celeborn so why!!!! set that up!!!! if not to like!! yknow???? like she should be in play already them saying 'oh yeah well i mean celeborn is maybe dead so iunno fam' isn't enough to write her out of the narrative so far. she should be Somewhere even if celeborn is in the wind the Only Thing I can think of is if galadriel does some hot girl unhinged shit and she and sauron sleep together bc Cosmic Connection or whatever. and that's why she has to sail west later. bc finding out your father is the current embodiment of all evil is A Lot.

i love how unhinged this entire ask is. thank you, anon, you have given me a gift.

MY CELEBRIAN IS HALF MAIA FILE GETS THICKER AND THICKER so I have a lot of thoughts about how this plays out in Tolkien, in the show, and in my deranged mind.

SPECIFICALLY TWO THINGS I WANT TO NOTE:

A problem I see in the show's collapsed timeline is the age difference between a currently not on the immediate horizon Celebrian and Elrond. Not that I care, but I know (gestures to purity culture and some general audiences) they'll care. It's no Twilight, but Elrond will look at bb Celebrian and be like: "ah, the future mother of my three children." And no, I don't think Celebrian exists in the show yet.

It's very important to me in this crack theory that we reclaim the non-con-recovery coded way Celebrian peaces out of Middle Earth. Less "I went through an experience so horrible that I must leave my family, husband, and three children, never mind a part to play in world ending war", and more "I'm too dangerous of a chess piece on this board so I need to remove myself from the conversation." Gosh, this theory just brings me such HEALING from some dumb canon decisions from men who didn't think the ramifications through.

#half maia celebrian crack theory #text post #anon #the rings of power #saurondriel #elrond #ALSO THE MYSTERY OF ELROND SUDDENLY BECOMING STRAIGHT

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curiouselleth · 8 months

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Oh no I got a new fic idea from my 1st age beleriand d&d campaign.

The general idea: The party saves Finrod, and it starts with general Dealing With the Trauma with Finrod.

The party will go to Balar or Sirion after the fall of Gondolin to see Finrod and discover Finrod is missing - he either disappears into thin air, or, for a extra scary almost traumatizing bonus, seemingly drops dead for no reason, one second fine, the next - boom. (Random but I might have him and (child)Elwing share the Nauglimir and become friends and etc because the Nauglimir was Finrods)

What they will figure out is that the valar noticed the changes the party and Finrod made rippling out and think, "oh no ripples bad things aren't going how they are supposed to (how they were written to go.)" so the valar yank Finrod out of Beleriand, either back to Valinor, or in the Finrod-dropping-dead case, into the Halls of Mandos.

The party (who are very attached to Finrod in the first place - hmm I just realized I am really making Finrod go through it, I should spread it around and share the trauma with the other NPC's too-). Get to sail to Valinor to try to rescue him (elwing lets them borrow the nauglimir but they tell no one about that, everyone still thinks it's in Sirion), and because of Changes (TM), they have to try to convince the valar to help out in Beleriand.

Probably spoilers after this (okay definitely but this is pretty far away from even being in the planning stages.)

________________

Whatever the result, I'm going to let this part be very party controlled and I'm not going to railroad them into a certain outcome. I think I'm going to leave the valar's decision unknown to the party because something happens and they want to get Finrod outta there. (Also the whole Finrod situation is not common knowledge, Finarfin doesn't know, in Valinor, only maiar and the valar and the party really know, maybe some of the elves in the halls.)

They will actually get back in late 538 after the third kinslaying because time is bendy around maiar, valar, and their powers so time can pass faster/slower around them then in the rest of the world.

The party walks sails into the aftermath of the third kinslaying (not the immediate aftermath like a week later or something,) encounter a very ticked off Earendil and Elwing panicking a bit about Elrond and Elros being missing still (the party: wheren't those two kids?? how do they have kids) and a Very Tired High King Gil-Galad (who was only 94 at the time, and still technically a child, because elves aren't of age until 100.) Then again if I go the Finrod "dies" route he ends up back in his body and the party gets back ridiculously late.

Finrod is Tired (TM). He is so tired. But he's not about to leave Gil-galad stuck with the kingship because he hasn't gotten a break for longer than Finrod's been alive. (Gil-galad is Finwe - the party saved him and yanked him through time to year 444 but time travel messed with him and de-aged him a lot. Oops.)

Finrod is high king and they still don't know if help is coming from the valar until one day Finarfin shows up!!! Finrod and Finarfin reunion, and Finrod wants to know why Finarfin didn't come to see him when the valar kidnapped him to valinor when he was briefly in valinor. *cue angst and shock* la la la stuff stuff, them leading together in the War of Wrath (I know Tolkien said only the hosts from valinor really fought in that. I don't care they would definitely still be heavily involved.)

I don't know how it will end but it will definitely end very differently because:

Finrod is beloved by everyone

The valar messed with him and did some generally really screwed up things to him

I don't think anyone will stand for that, and it might cause some civilization wide reflection on how the valar has done a lot of Not Great Stuff, even if they had good intentions.

I'm putting this near the top of my wip pile (which only has 3 things. For now.) so maybe when I need a break of Be He Foe or Friend or the Founder (<- working title, it's not sticking around) I'll work on this!

Anyway here's way too much context and me rambling about my d&d campaign under the cut

I've been running a d&d campaign set in first age Beleriand (starting in 455). And I thought a good way to start was they were travelling west into beleriand and encountered Finrod and became friends and etc, possibly with him sending them on missions and quests and such, with this first part of the campaign reaching a climax in the Lay of Leithian.

Problem: the party adores Finrod (who doesn't?) and they're going to try to save his life (when we meet tomorrow). But I've been struggling with just... what the heck to do with Finrod if they manage to save him?

Because he can't stay with the party for two reasons;

he's way to powerful for a level 11 party (let's just say I really failed at making the middle earth and d&d magic systems interact and Finrod is over level 20 via multiclassing and leave it at that 😅).

Trauma (I read a post, but I can't find it 😭, about how the worst thing that could happen to Finrod would be him surviving that, with him surviving but his followers not and etc)

So I've been trying to figure out what to do with him for the past 3 or 4 months, and I finally got it.

The party is going to Hithlim briefly, then Doriath, so obviously he can't go to either of those places - Doriath because then he's too close to the party yet and Hithlim is too close to Angband and the front lines for a extra traumatized Finrod. So he's either going to Gondolin or Balar, (I'll decide based off of how much he needs immediate medical attention and etc.)

So after the whole Finrod situation is wrapped Beren and Luthien will continue on their quest, and the party will either head to Hithlim or Doriath (I try to give the party choices lol.) If they go to Hithlim they'll be escorting Gil-galad who is actually Finwe (party intervention via weird time travel,) and if they go to Doriath they're going to find some kind of darkness or sickness fell upon the kingdom, either after Luthien went after Beren or after they returned to life and left. It depends on which thing they do first.

After Doriath there's a small sideplot with a player character being kidnaped and the avari and such.

There will probably be smaller missions here until the sack or doriath or second kinslaying, the party will play a part I just haven't decided how much yet. After that they are going to head to Gondolin, possibly be there for the fall as well but probably not in the thick of fighting, probably helping with evacuations.

Anyway. After Gondolin its the whole Finrod thing I talked about with the fic idea. I think we're gonna get into the war of wrath eventually but I'm going to need to generate a lot of original plot for the in between stuff and the actual war.

#why do my original posts always get so long lol #uhhh I don't think any of my party follows me here but my d&d party dni lol #silmarillion #tolkien #the silmarillion #finrod #silm #the silm #d&d #d&d 5e #fic #fanfic #fanfic idea #fic idea #d&d nonsense #1st age beleriand d&d campaign

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southfarthing · 2 years

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are you watching trop? and if so what’re your thoughts 👀

I've watched the first three episodes yeah 😌 like a 6/10 so far?

my general thoughts: there's been some quite strong stances both for and against it, and I understand where everything's coming from. personally, I'm happy to enjoy it from a distance but not get too invested; to satisfy my curiosity but not give it more attention than it needs. I'm not seeing it as a faithful adaptation at all, because there's hardly anything to adapt - expensive fanfic, as it were - and that, I think, is the problem in itself. I'm just not sure it was a smart idea to make a 5-season show where you don't even have the legal rights to fully reference the first age lmao??? it makes for bloated storytelling, which was my issue with the hobbit films.

things I like:

the music

pretty shots

idk man I'm a simple girl I hear a subtle reference to anything tolkien and go !!!!!!!!

the dwarves! there were a few weird shots that made me a little uncomfortable but I liked the general vibe, and durin and disa were lovely + it's nice to get the more sensitive side to the dwarves, whereas lotr kinda brushed over it by making gimli comic relief when he's SOOOOO <3 in the book, and the hobbit had three films to give the dwarves some depth and somehow still didn't manage much

elrond!!! still hate the hair but you can tell the actor is giving it his all

again, weird casting choice and styling for celerimbor, but I like the way he's playing the character

poppy the harfoot is soooo cute <3 generally liked the harfoots, and they have some cute hobbity sayings that they pepper into conversation! but I feel like they could do with a little less sceentime, and I still don't get the overly dirty appearance and leaves in their hair - it's a bit much

southlands backstory is interesting!

numenor looks cool! and isildur is soooooooooo <3 also elendil dfhgdfk and tar-miriel is looking promising!

things I don't like:

........galadriel. I know they needed to give her an arc or whatever but this whole arya stark-esque thing going on just isn't doing it for me

elves in general tbh. not even just the appearance (hair, age, costume) but the way they act too just doesn't feel elvish. there's no difference between elves and men except the pointy ears, and idk I just find that odd. feel like I'm watching the witcher sometimes

oversimplification of the first age (essentially they made it out as if one big group of elves sailed to middle earth together to fight morgoth and that's it) means oversimplification of galadriel's motivations, which again makes her character fall flat

some very unnecessary scenes (or dramatic scenes with not enough build up to get an emotional response) to pad it out and it feels kinda choppy in places

we haven't seen him much yet but i am still nervous about ar-pharazon. the way he's given a massive beard when nobody else has anything more than stubble/very short facial hair makes me 😐 at what's to come

yeah just... don't feel invested in most of the characters. idk if that's just me though

but yeah all in all I'm not 100% convinced I'm in middle earth? there's some moments where I go "oh this reminds me of game of thrones" or "oh that's kinda like the Witcher" and... that is not what I want to be thinking when supposedly returning to middle earth

so all in all, it's ok? not awful but not amazing either. maybe it'll pick up later, idk. I'm hoping elrond grows his hair out by s2 🤧

I just don't want too much overlap between this and lord of the rings, which are two completely different things. i get that it's exciting to get new content, but please tag things correctly guys 😩

#rop #rop crit #these are the tags I'll be using for the show and for criticism of the show respectively!#so blacklist whatever you don't wanna see. there won't be too much i promise #anonymous #replies #what do you think of it anon?

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a-lonely-dunedain · 2 years

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heyas friend! would you be interested in taking about ethedis a little bit? she seems pretty cool from what I've seen so far, and I'm kinda curious about her :D

oh! well sure I'd love to! provided I can get my thoughts into a half-coherent state. I haven't really written anything about her publicly, mostly because I don't really write much of anything publicly. or privately, for that matter. it all just floats around in my head like some kinda thought-soup. or smoothie. so it will probably be helpful to write some of this down anyway lol

ahem! so Ethedis was my first character, so the early parts of her story pretty closely follow the elf-intro quests. main difference being that she wasn't there when the Refuge of Edhelion fell. according to the game it was attacked like 600 years ago, and I think she's waaaay younger than that. I wanna say like 300-something? yeah she's baby. I mean still an adult by elven standards but like, in spirit, she is baby.

but yea she ends up there just as an apprentice Loremaster who's traveling with the sons of Elrond, both to help in any way she can and because this was a good opportunity to study some recent-ish history. also even tho she's from Rivendell she's probably been to the Blue Mountains a couple times. she's actually fascinated by dwarven architecture and culture, so she jumped at the opportunity to join Elladan and Elrohir's party. she wasn't even initially gonna be allowed to come, but she gave Elrond good enough puppy-eyes 🥺 he was like "fine FINE you can go just stop looking at me like that".

Also, I'd been toying around with the idea that in her travels to and from Ered Luin in the past she might've met Amdir and became friends with him, so that just makes everything in Bree So Much Worse for her. because now not only is she experiencing the loss of a mortal friend for the first time, But she's the one who has to help put him down. (not to mention the guilt of "could I have prevented this if I made it to Bree sooner?") it takes her awhile to fully understand that he's like, gone gone, on account of her being so young and like This Has Never Happened Before. anyway yeah, fun stuff :)

good news is that she bounces back from that pretty quickly! I mean kinda. She's just putting her strong emotions to a more productive use, that being hunting down whatever bitchass Nazgul was responsible for her friend's death! she has no idea what she's getting into :)

as far as her personality goes, she's bright, cheerful, and a bit of an airhead (surprising for a Loremaster I know). she's not exactly stupid or anything (I just play it up for comedic effect sometimes lol) but she is young and therefore less experienced and wise than most other elves you would meet in the 3rd age. the benefit of that is that she's not nearly as Tired™ as many other 3rd age elves either, and can handle a lot of emotional distress without losing her sunshiny demeanor. good thing too! Corunir definitely could use a sunshiny friend, considering all he's been through.

OH! right, speaking of Corunir and Ethedis!

When I met Corunir in Aughaire I was just like "oh this poor guy. Ethedis, go /hug him he needs it" and their dynamic just kinda escalated from there. Ethedis the Sunshine Elf™️ just goes "sad ranger??? NOT on my watch!". Ethedis provides much needed emotional support, and Corunir keeps her from walking off cliffs or into pools of death-water. mutually beneficial relationship 😊

In my headcannon, after Ethe masters the watching stones she's able to get close enough to one to damage its heart so Corunir has a path through Rammas Deluon, and they do the rest of the Eriador epic line together. Corunir deff wouldn't have wanted to leave Ethedis to east Angmar on her own, he finally got a friend gosh darn it he's gotta make sure nothing happens to her!

also they hold hands sometimes 😳 maybe even cuddle,,,, 👉👈

gah I'm bad at talking about this, what I'm trying to say is that they're adorable together. I personally headcannon Corunir as demiromantic ace, and Ethe probably is too, so their relationship isn't romantic for like a long time (what can I say? my demiro ace self likes to project onto my blorbos). I'm not sure when they develop romantic feelings for one another. I think there isn't one point I can point to and say "that! there's when they fall in love!", it's more of a gradual thing that just always felt natural to them. they don't notice their relationship changing from platonic to romantic, whatever state it's in is just what feels right. it's like, they don't fall in love, they just kinda end up there at some point. I don't know if I'm making any sense lol. point is, yes I ship my OC who has a personality *vaguely* based on my own with my favorite ranger, what of it? what is life without at least one shamelessly self-indulgent ship? I think everyone should get at least one, as a treat :) also:

*gently slides this image of Corunir and Eth over bc my friend did a rly good job on it and I need u to Look At Them*

anyway uh, yeah! that's some stuff about Ethedis :) my lil elf who's head is full of sunshine instead of braincells. I don't know how to end this post.

#lotro #lotro oc #corunir #I feel like I was just rambling here but like #this is what you asked for!#I think #hopefully?#either way it was nice to actually get some of this written down :)#I probably wouldn't've gotten around to it if someone didn't ask

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factorialrabbits · 2 years

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For that ask game, how about Zelda (I am also basic-haha). (And if you're feeling froggy, how about Lord of the Rings/anything by Tolkien?)

Eh why not both. I'm apparently using Spirit Tracks because I'm currently playing it.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Zelda. Zelda is so silly, I love her. The way she moves is really cool. She's scared of rats but she's Link's hype man, and she's just so good. She's doesn't want to be here at first and she just wants her body back, but she's doing her best!

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Link. I mean he's a toon Link how can you not baby him? He has all those expressions and smallness. Also put him and Zelda together and they just squish.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Anjean. Sure she's just your generic old lady quest NPC but she wrangles those kids well, and has tragic angst with one of the bad guys. Plus, steam powered wheelchair things that all the guardian Lokomo have are really cool I want one. Also! She does /not/ know all of the things. She's the elderly mentor lady but she's taken off guard and needs to be taught more info and I like that.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Teacher. I mean look at him, with his anxiety but desperate need to find and look after the princess, even putting on a bad disguise to get you to take him all over the world to try find her. He's the dad she needs but appears not to have.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): I'm not sure I have one in Spirit Tracks. Hm. Is saying I like the rabbit guy and his wife controversial? I /like/ the rabbit haven and catching bunnies. Even if I think Bunio should put a longer shirt on. Does that work? I can't really think of anyone else... If you liked Cole or somehting, but I don't. And I already used Staven for the next option...

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Staven (Byrne for you Americans out there). He's not really a favourite, but I would like to pick him apart and examine his innards while squinting at him.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): The fortune teller I'm sorry I know she's not evil or anything I just cannot stand the fact I have to go through the stupid fortune telling thing using the mic whenever I need anything from her, and half of it is generically scammy.

Now Tolkien stuff, lets see what I can remember...

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Elrond. I mean that's just easy. You'd think its Earendil from the rest of this list, but I absolutely promise you its Elrond.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): I was going to put him elsewhere but, no, this one has to be Earendil. I cannot really comprehend with putting anyone else here. Kid Earendil in the Fall of Gondolin drafts, the only place he gets to speak rather than just be referenced, is my little one. Even when he grows up I keep him there.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Tuor is a fun character actually. (I... yes okay this family name is cool).

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): ... Does Celebrimbor count? Erestor? No? Okay I'm actually going to pick three people - Falathar, Erellont, and Aerandir. They get like a single line, BUT they are the dudes who sailed with Earendil and I can fit so so so many headcanons into them.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): I'm going to put Turin here not necessarily because he fits best but he's definitely winning miserable awards. Just fucked up everything whereever he went until he killed himself. Children of Hurin was the second Tolkien book I ever read, my parents mistaking me losing a free bookmark advertising it in the bathroom as a hint I wanted it for Christmas. I definitely read it too young, and it definitely leaves influences on things.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Boromir. I mean, look at him. I don't actually want him to suffer, its just kinda funny, you know?

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Denethor, but specifically Denethor from the PJ films. In other mediums I'll remain basic and say I'm putting Morgoth in super hell. Or Sauron. Maybe both.

I feel like thanks to fandom half my 'barely shows up' sort of faves are fan favourites anyway... Celebrimbor, Celebrian, Erestor... I see all three of them a lot. Or maybe I just linger in the right places. Also now I'm in half a mind to ramble but definitely too tired for that.

#ask #hi hi hi hope you enjoy #honestly spirit tracks itself is my problematic fave #the tolkien one I had so so so many people #but I was rereading some of my Gondolin stuff yesterday so they're in my brain #Idril is like 2nd place in 4 catagories

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lord-westley · 3 years

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Hi hun, I don't know if your requests are open right now, but I could really use some sort of comfort Imagine right now and I was hoping I could come and ask you. It doesn't even have to be a full set of Headcanons, just a short blurb about some Characters will do if that's fine with you.

I've been really struggling with my chronic illnesses lately, and I keep imagining the Fellowship taking care of me, so I thought I'd ask for an Imagine about that. I have a really weird condition where my right leg is physically longer than my left, which causes really intense pain in my hip and leg and also difficulty walking, so I've been really struggling with that lately. There's also the chronic fatigue from my sleep apnea, I'm absolutely covered in bruises that I don't remember getting, the classic anxiety and depression and executive dysfunction.. it's just been a difficult week tbh.

I'd appreciate any kind words right now. Thanks for being so kind and supportive to me, it means more than you could ever know. I hope it's alright that I ask this of you. Godspeed, hun 💕

Comfort HC’s

Platonic!Fellowship x Reader

Post LOTR; Comfort

Warnings: Mentions chronic pain, anxiety, depression, PTSD

A/N: Hello Ro! I’m sorry this took a while, I hope the pain eases soon and that these headcanons help. If you ever need to talk, my DM's are open anytime!

You’ve known the Fellowship ever since you were a little girl. You met them when your parents sent you off to Imladris to seek the aid of Lord Elrond, one of the greatest healers in Middle-Earth. For you had an unusual physical condition, where your right leg grew longer than your left. It made walking difficult and a burning pain to spiderweb from your hip down.

Lord Elrond tried everything he could in his power to help you, and yet there was little he could do except ease the pain. No amount of magic can prevent physical growth.

The tears that welled up in your eyes that day pained him more than any wound can. A child, barely twelve years old, experiencing such excruciating pain right in front of him, and yet he can’t do anything about it. And from that moment on, he promised to you that he’d do anything he can to help you, and care for you.

So with the permission of your worried parents, Lord Elrond gave you an offer to stay in Imladris for as long as you wish. To heal and receive the care you need. Which you kindly accepted.

For years up to adulthood, you lived in Imladris; drinking Athleas tea every morning and night for the pain and sleep apnea. While it wasn’t a cure, it helped make life much more bearable. Allowing you to enjoy certain activities and walk around with only half the pain.

During those years you became great friends with the Fellowship. For they travelled often to Imladris to visit and rest between trips. They became your family, always joking and telling stories of their travels; teaching you new tricks and how to defend yourself. And in return you’d tell them stories of the elves around you. How the Ellon in the smithy loves to tease the Elleth in the bakery. Or how the children would braid flower crowns for you.

The boys know of your difficulties with your leg and illnesses. They’re constantly worried for you; asking how you are, helping when the pain begins to spike and holding you when you begin to cry. Everytime it starts getting bad again, they tell you it's okay to feel weak and to cry. That you don’t have to be strong all the time.

Aragorn

Aragorn is surprisingly soft despite his tough exterior

He believes that crying and venting about your frustrations is the most healthy way to deal

So on days you are having a rough time he’ll sit down with you in his lap, holding you tightly into his chest. One arm around your body and one hand in your hair

Aragorn will let you cry and yell into him, all while pressing small kisses into your hair

He’s not a very wordy person, so it’s not often he will whisper sweet things, but when he does. It’s always so soft and helps relax you

“Deep breaths Hun, It’ll be okay”

Legolas

A soft baby- an absolute angel when it comes to comforting you

Legolas is very big on grounding yourself and staying focused on your surroundings

So when he notices you’re beginning to have a rough time, nearing a panic attack, He preps a cup of Athleas tea and brings you to a private area

He’ll have you sit between his legs, and his arms gently wrapped around you torso

Legolas will have you ground yourself by telling him 3 things you smell, feel, hear and see

“Close your eyes, little one and listen… Listen to the birds sing”

As you begin to relax, he whispers praises, proud of how strong you are

“You’re doing so well, I’m proud of you”

Boromir

I love this man oml

If you’re bedridden due to the pain he’d 100% do whatever you ask of him

Need more pillows? Steals them from every. Single. Bedroom.

“Boro- holy crap how many did you take!?”

“Uh.. all?”

There is now a national shortage of pillows

Need more warmth? Will make a nest of blankets and wrap you up in his cloak

Comfort?? CUDDLES FOR DAYS

Boromir is there for you every step of the way

If you start crying, He might cry with you- absolutely hates seeing you in such pain

“I’m sorry- Im so sorry Darling. I wish there was more I could do for you”

Gimli

In true Gimli fashion, when he notices your anxiety he 100% wants to fight whoever triggered it

He gets a bit aggressive in the beginning, insisting to fist fight your problems away

but when you tell him that it’s something that can't be fought off, that its a constant thing, he calms down and just

“Oh”

“Oh oh wait Im so sorry”

Cue soft Gimli

Will rub your back affectionately while speaking softly

Asking if there is anything he could do to help

Another babe who will do anything you ask of him

If the panic attack happens in public, Gimli will bring you somewhere more private

He’ll shield you with his body from the eyes of the public and glare at anyone who dares stare

Not very good with soft comfort but if you ever need to feel safe and protected go to him

“Dont worry Lassie” (head pats) “I’ll protect you, You’re safe now”

Frodo

Sweet darling baby angel bean

He completely understands your anxieties and pain

Frodo did carry the one ring across middle earth after all

He absolutely has PTSD from it, so there have been many times the two of you would stay up late together when you can’t sleep, drinking tea

You find comfort in the fact that he’s quite similar to you, and vice versa

Most often, you guys will talk about what's going on and comfort each other

On the nights the two of you don’t wish to talk, Frodo will read stories to you

His voice is so soft and comforting, It never fails to lull you to sleep

“None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window” He reads aloud, peaking up at you and notices the way your lips part, a soft snore emitting. He hums, “Goodnight Y/N, sleep well”

Sam

This hobbit is such a softie

He understands that with mental disorders, you may forget to eat or care for yourself

So he always watches you, making sure you’re eating and you aren’t

Oh boy

Will cook your favorite meals and make you sit with him to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner

“Ah, I hope you enjoy the meal. I made your favorite!”

“Thank you, Sam..”

Ensuring you drink your water

Or if you don’t like plain water, make some tea. Anything really to make sure you get your fluids

As a gardener, Sam is busy quite often, tending to, well, gardens

He’ll set up a picnic nearby for you with finger sandwiches, drinks, and fruit that way you had company and can relax fully in the peacefulness of nature

Definitely will give you a bouquet of flowers at the end of the day

“I picked these for you Y/N!”

Merry and Pippin

Okay so these two are together cause well. They’re always together

Except that one scene

Absolute kings of distraction when you’re feeling depressed

You might want to just sleep it off- but we all know that never really helps

They’ll make so many jokes and sing and dance around just to make you laugh

Which often leads to them singing even louder and cruder, annoying every elf in the area

“Lucky Annie was a lady who’d been pleased by many men- They all would sail away but then they’d come right back again”

Yes they sing sea shanties

Oops

On days that you don’t have the energy to deal with such shenanigans, they’ll tone it down

The three of you will often be found in the field during these days, Tossing a ball back n forth

Or giggling amongst yourself, gossiping about the rest of the fellowship

“I don’t know Merry, Gandalf is kinda hot in an old man way”

“Pippin what the hell”

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erosofthepen · 4 years

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Hello! I had an idea for an imagine that I wanted to get your thoughts on, if that's fine by you. Which Characters from The Hobbit and Lotr do you think would most enjoy dating a Dark Academia-style Writer? So like she dresses in the Dark Academia fashion, reads Classical Literature and her own stories and essays to them while cuddling, excitedly Rants about History and Literature to them, and maybe they even find her journal full of sappy love poems and rambles about how much she loves them? Who do you think would be most down for a s/o like that, if you don't mind me asking. I'd love to get your thoughts on this, and your blog is so spectacular btw!

Oh ho ho, my friend, this is right up my alley. I am obsessed with Dark Academia.

For ‘The Hobbit’:

Bilbo Baggins.

He was literally the first person to pop into my head. He is a perfect mix of cottage core and light academia, and I feel like he would have a lot of love for dark academia as well. When you’d cuddle, you’d both be reading your respective books (or even better, reading the same book with one another, or even even better, reading aloud to one another), and when a particularly deep or meaningful quote or scene happens, you would both discuss it thoroughly. You would both go into rants about history and literature you find interesting, and understand one another perfectly, going into incredible depth about the topics. If he ever found love poems you wrote about him, he would read them with the fondest smile upon his face. Who knows, in a few days, you might even come across a few poems or songs he has written about you.

Bard.

Bard has a lot of respect for history, (I hold firm to the belief that he was one of the very few lake men who really cared about the towns past), and would probably even help teach you some history of Dale and Esgaroth. And if you teach him about our worlds history and mythology, he would be all ears and find it utterly fascinating. He would totally be down to just spending quiet days at the library with you, and would probably read every book you recommend to him (Imagine discussing ‘A Secret History’ with him… that would be quite an interesting conversation). And if he ever came across love rants/poems… this man would get all cute and tell you how much they mean to him. He’s just that kind of person.

Thorin.

This dwarf would be incredibly into Dark Academia. I can just imagine dressing him up in one of those gray waistcoats with the white, long-sleeved undershirt. If he should roll the sleeves up to the elbow… sigh. He could totally dress the part. And he would absolutely love seeing you dressed dark academia style. His color palate is very similar to what is typically dark academia. And get ready for hours of discussing both dwarrow and human history with him. Also, if I may go out on a limb here, there is this headcannon I have about dwarrow museums being carved into old mineshaft used of resources. Thorin would be immensely proud and excited to show you and teach you everything in the museums. Walking down the stone halls and him pointing out various carvings and texts on the walls, your dark academia mind couldn’t be happier. And cuddles with his arm around your shoulders, lying in bed after a long day, ending the night reading. He would occasionally look down at what your reading (possibly asking what’s going on in the plot, depending on if you get annoyed by interruptions or not) and smile to himself. If you read your own work to this dwarf, expect the best feedback possible. He is very thorough with his feedback, and knows how to properly give constructive criticism as well as highlighting the best parts of your work.

Lindir.

This sweet little elf would be beside himself. He loves the libraries in Rivendell, and you sharing and reading stories with him opens up worlds. He would also love the way you dress, and will often ask what has inspired your ‘look’ for the day. He gets excited when you come to him with a new topic to rant about, and will likely contribute some very insightful views on the matter. When you come to him with questions about Middle Earth’s history, he will gladly answer whatever you ask (and probably end up having a history rant of his own. ‘Hey Lindir, what are the Silmarils?’ ‘…how about you sit down, and we’ll chat about it for a few months.’). He would just be the sweetest if he found your love rambles, and would be blushing the entire time reading them. Expect a wonderful thank you and an entire sonnet of his own composed for you.

Ori.

Can’t forget this little scribe. He would be beside himself at finding a fellow reader and writer, and the two of you would have so many reading sessions where you discuss what exactly this word meant in this context, or just ranting sessions where you gush and/or vent about a certain scene or plot development. He would find your outfits absolutely exquisite and probably even help you piece some together. Cuddling with him while reading is honestly the best, because you’ll just be laying side-by-side, surrounded by pillows and blankets (possibly in front of a fireplace in the Great Erebor Library), and just be reading your different books together, content to just read without feeling the need to talk. If you ever read your work to him, he would be beside himself at the level of trust you place in him (being a writer, he knows how daunting sharing your work can be), and he would love whatever you write. Expect him to start sharing his work as well. For the love poems, You’ll probably find his poems/rambles first, tbh. He just loves expressing himself through writing, and expressing his love for you is his favorite thing. You both get all sappy and blushy when you read one another declarations of love.

For ‘Lord of the Rings’:

Frodo Baggins.

Much like his Uncle, Frodo has a healthy appreciation for history and literature. He’d just love pouring over different books with you, and discussing them. His favorite thing to do with you on rainy days is to curl up with a good book and read aloud. Maybe even a walk down the trails and paths with an umbrella as well (Lobelia in the hobbit movies and the end of return of the king has proven there to be umbrella’s in Middle Earth). Hobbits are known for their passion for History, particularly family History, so he’ll definitely go into some rants of his own about the history of the Shire, and will sit and listen to your rants as well.

Elrond.

Lord Elrond is like a living, breathing, history textbook. He would be the absolute best person to discuss historical events and mythology and such. His keenness for knowledge knows no limits. There will definitely be very, very, long conversations about literature and meanings behind what the author writes, and the morals and values of the texts. Honestly, there is just such a depth of understanding between you and Elrond that is incredibly hard to find in others.

Faramir.

This man. This is the man who literally fanboyed over Gandalf and became a pupil to him. He would absolutely be beside himself when he meets you, because another human who is obsessed with learning and history and literature and discussing it and having deep conversations about it??? He would fall hard. And he would always love the way you dress, whether you are wearing a cozy sweater-vest or a dramatic trench coat. The two of you would literally spend hours in Gondor’s libraries, pouring over shelves of scrolls and books, taking notes on them, and maybe with a few older ones, restoring them together. Your favorite thing to do before going to bed is lighting a few candles and reading together. He would especially be fascinated and amazed at anything you have written and willing to share with him. He honestly just loves you so much, and feels so understood when he’s around you. And finding love poems written about him fills him with an indescribable amount of joy.

Aragorn.

When not off doing important Ranger or Kingly duties, Aragorn would just love to spend time reading with you. The kind of quality time where neither person needs to say anything, because the simple presence of the person is enough. He’s very into History, and I can totally see him ranting to you about the story of Beren and Luthien (perhaps the rest of the Silmarillion if he has the time), and would love to hear about your stories and books from our world. He’s the kind of person who prefers to dress practical, but that doesn’t stop him from complimenting your outfits and thinking how great you look every time you walk into the room. He loves the aesthetic of it. And should he ever stumble across a poem about him, he will probably keep it to himself, but memorize every word and repeat it to himself while traveling.

So I may have gotten just a tad bit carried away with this, but it was so much fun doing! Thank you for this ask! I hope this is what you were looking for. Now, i’m going to make myself a cup of tea and go to bed.

#bilbo baggins #dark acadamia #ori #aragorn #lindir #elrond #faramir #hobbit asks #lotr asks #frodo #thorin #bard #claraofthepen #the hobbit #lord of the rings

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clockworkfall · 4 years

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You don't even need to suggest asking for that list because I've already astral projected the request into your ask box

darcy (is it alright if i call you darcy?) you have given me so many gifts i am Vibrating bc of this

ok so - the official list of everything i personally despise the hobbit movies for and i am right things can be added to the list but i will not retract anything due to the fact that again im right also these aren’t in any particular order other than maybe the most grievous stuff will be last for the drama of it all and ive probably forgotten some things bc the last time i watched these movies was when they came out

also this is my personal favourite edition of the misty mountains song and technically it also has part of durin’s song in it but it sounds really cool and it is the appropriate 20 minute length

anyway. the list. i wasn't going to put a cut in but im only through my complaints with the first movie and its already very long so uhhh just a warning that this is extensive

where the fuck is the singing. in the book almost every single chapter has at least one song in it. the movie had two songs and they were not done properly i dont care for any of it

establish the baggins character!! they dont do it!! yes i understand that its a movie and they cant spend every second on every detail but i think its important that we know why thorin & co. underestimate bilbo at first other than We Are Dwarves And He Is A Hobbit like they d i d have that one bit where bilbo faints at the beginning and then sleeps through the dwarves leaving but still. sure i already know he is a largely respectable baggins with a tookish side but the people who havent read the book dont

singing complaint pt 2 see above

gandalf should have left more he isn't there like half the time do i want to see him more yes but give the company the chance to have character development

why is radagast here. give me one reason for radagast.

ok. i have to put them here bc im kind of going in plot order and i am looking at the wikipedia for these movies bc i am obligated to include everything but im not watching those movies again so here is one of my Top Three Things That Almost Made Me Walk Out Of Theatre: why the ever loving f u c k are there orcs. they aren’t in the book. they aren’t a problem for these people at this point in time in middle earth. there should not be orcs in this story.

also why are we talking about the necromancer and sauron and seeing the council there is a reason we dont see whatever the fuck gandalf is up to in the book. also they went to rivendell as a stop in the journey not because they were being chased by orcs. there are not orcs in this story. im moving on because im upset

also im pretty sure elrond doesn’t point out the durin’s day thing they figure it out later he just translates please let the dwarves be smart they arent but let them know their own holidays

there should be more riddles this chapter in the book is called riddles in the dark the riddles are right there you could take them verbatim from the book

fucking. a z o g. he exists and is mentioned Once in the book. he is a goblin. why did they make him an orc. there are not. supposed. to be. orcs.

ok the tree battle with the wargs happens but. its just wargs. wargs are not just Horses But Evil So Theyre Wolves. they are their own whole situation and yea they ally with the goblins later but this fight has nothing to do with orcs

there should be More between thorin and bilbo also a general note that the dwarves should have chemistry let me see them have fun together also the thrush waking up smaug is bullshit but that's less important

ok. im going to try to shut up about the orcs. orc complaint pt 102489248 see above

shut up about the necromancer shut up about the necromancer stop showing us what gandalf is doing that's his business not the story of the hobbit also why was there a message from galadriel about the nazgul this is the hobbit

i want more book beorn that man is incredible we should have had more of him movie beorn is fine i just want more

show me the illusions of elves feasting its such a cool part and it gives us a reason for the dwarves to go off the path other than Lost

also that one river show us why mirkwood is dangerous

i dont think that whole dropping the ring and killing whatever the fuck that was happens. also bilbo doesnt understand the ring and he shouldn't like it sucks for him but its important that he doesnt understand

thorin is captured first and the dwarves later and none of them are captured by tauriel and legolas. namely because neither of them are in this book.

a note about tauriel: tolkien should have more female characters but the way to go about this in an adaptation is not just throwing one in so kili can have a love interest also i fucking. despise. that subplot.

that whole confrontation doesnt happen but thranduil is rad so i dont mind t o o much but still. give thorin character other than Angry And Prideful

gandlafs business complaint pt 20942098 see above

orc complaint pt 203984395 see above

ok also the kili being wounded and poisoned or whatever makes me so fucking mad shut up about tauriel why is legolas here like i cant remember he might be shot by the elven guards but im pretty sure that whole river battle doesnt happen its just unpleasant bc theyre travelling in barrels

ok i checked the book im right that scene is horseshit why did we have to have it. if you tell the story as written you dont need to add random drama its literally right there

gandalfs business complaint pt 982347349 this story is only a prequel to the lot in the sense that it happens before it and bilbo gets the ring but that is it

kili being poisoned complaint pt 3 this is bullshit

we dont know any of this shit about bard yet im pretty sure we dont even know bard at this point but thorin and co. certainly dont

bard nonsense complaint pt 2. this is preemptive i think its third movie bullshit

they spend so much longer at the secret entrance also bilbo is sent to scout not get the arkenstone he isn't even told about it at this point im pretty sure

also thorin should be talking more half of his character is tolkien reminding us that he just does not stop talking

none of the shit at the end of this movie is right. shut up about orcs. stop talking about bard and making his life more complicated than it is. there is no molten gold or chase within the mountain smaug realizes bilbo stole a cup and leaves the mountain in a rage and smashes the area of the mountain with the door and thorin and co. are trapped inside none of this shit happens yes he goes off to destroy esgaroth but jesus not like this he goes back to the mountain first and then the conversation with bilbo happens

also the second movie is called the desolation of smaug which sounds like it refers to smaugs death but that doesnt happen in this movie and if it is actually meant to be the desolation smaug causes that also isn't shown in this movie

things are not this complicated for bard he's just great move on stop talking about his family

shut up about tauriel and legolas pt 308430

also stop making esgaroth so complicated it isn't the master of the town sucks and the people like bard so he is in charge its not difficult

the whole third movie is fucking stupid and i hate it more than the other two combined and i do not have the patience to go through the stupid plot of this terrible movie so i am going to sum up (also the princess bride slaps i was reminded of the the let me explain no time bit which is *chefs kiss* anyway back to terrible things)

also this movie should have only been as long as it was bc it dealt with thorin and keeping everyone out of the mountain and not the battle the main character was knocked out for the man wasn’t there

shut up about the fucking orcs they arent in this movie there is not final battle with azog shut up i fucking hate it here this isn't how thorin dies and fili and kill die defending him bc hes their uncle kili doesnt die defending fucking tauriel i cannot stand it here

also the whole thranduil business is blown way out of proportion

this battle is stupid and wrong and i hate it you can tell that this part is far from the book bc ive stopped trying to explain cause there are close to zero similarities and it would take too long

beorn does show up but again. why is radagast here.

this movie makes me want to scream im so upset like thorin and fili and kili dying already makes me so upset but they did them all so dirty i hate it here

if you want a more coherent and detailed Everything I Fucking Hate About This Stupid Fucking Movie i think the only way anyone will get that would be watching the movie with me and i will only watch that movie with someone who will be just as upset as i am and thats that

anyway this has been thrilling i love few things more than being able to talk about how movies ruined books this has been a gift even if i sound like im about to commit murder i just. hate these movies with a passion

#ask #definitely-darcy #the hobbit #anyway i dont know if this was clear enough but what ruined these moves was #a) the need to make them a prequel to the lotr like its not it just happens before it #and b) putting fucking orcs in it they arent supposed to be there and by adding them you ruin the story and everything is more complicated

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