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mothdruid · 10 months

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The Physics of Love - Prologue

series masterlist | part one

pairing.

robert 'bob' floyd x afab!reader

warnings.

insecurities, previously experienced misogyny in STEM, self-doubt. this content is meant for those who are 18 and older.

authors note.

professor coleman (hondo) is a real one who loves his students. but let me know what you think so far! i will be doing a tag list for this series, so if you would like to join that, let me know.

The red ink stared back at you menacingly. Every minus one, minus two, minus three points marks taunting you. Sixty-eight out of one hundred. It wasn’t the worst you had scored in the class, but it was too far into the semester for you to drop. If only you had actually considered it a few weeks ago. That foolish woman in STEM mentality got the better of you though.

“If there are any issues with scores, let me know after class.” Professor Coleman announced.

It was as if the whole classroom failed, many students hanging back to talk with Professor Coleman. And you were no exception, slowly packing your bag while leaving your test on the table. You flipped through it a little bit as you waited after packing. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed, you just weren’t sure what to do from here on out.

“Issue with your score?” Professor Coleman asked.

You shook your head, letting out a soft chuckle.

“No, I just,” your hand tightened on the marked up papers, “don’t know what to do.”

Professor Coleman gave you a questioning look. You watched as he adjusted his glasses, staring at you with an odd kindness. The tension in your shoulders started to dissipate, your body finally relaxing enough to let your frustration sift into worry.

“If I don’t pass this class, boom, bam, degree gone,” you set the packet on the table. It was annoying to think that this class would potentially make it or break it for you. Stripping you of that geology degree you had yearned for since junior high. Math? A struggle but doable. Chem? Not too bad. Physics? The bane of your existence.

“It’s not like the final is next week. You have passed both exams so far.”

“Barely,” your hands were starting to clench up. It was a nervous habit, one you couldn’t seem to shake.

“Still passed though,” Professor Coleman offered you a smile.

"My degree requires a C plus, something that looks impossible right now," you sighed, tightly running your forefinger and thumb across your forehead to block your vision. It was beyond frustrating.

"Have you thought about looking for a tutor?"

A tutor? Was he being serious? How could anyone help you learn this cursed subject? Let alone get you to retain the information. Plus, you had tried it last semester. It ended in a bit of a failure, on your part and the tutors.

"Yeah, last semester. Tutor got frustrated because I couldn't pick it up, and I got frustrated about not picking it up quickly and it was just," you removed your hand only to be greeted with a soft frown, "it didn't work."

"Would you be willing to give it another try?" Professor Coleman asked, pushing his hands in his pockets.

"I uh… I don't know. I'm not a huge fan of the tutor program here, especially after last semester." You looked over at him with a frown and shrugged. "Maybe this is the universe's way of telling me to give up on geology."

"Hey, some of the best things in life are hard to get, and this might be one of them." Coleman smiled softly at you.

Doubt with a hint of shame swirled around your mind. A storm cloud that didn't want to dissipate. As much as you wanted to believe his words, it was hard. It was hard enough to make it in this field anyways. Hell, any STEM major was hell to get into. It was exceptionally worse though being a female in the field though. You had had classmates and professors act as if you didn't belong among them. And now, it felt like it was all true.

"What if I found you a tutor? Hand picked by me," Coleman shrugged, his words catching your attention.

"Oh, you don't have to do that, I can just fail and go about taking it next semes-"

"I don't want to see you fail."

The two of you stood there for a moment, staring at each other. Coleman had been the first professor that had seemed to actually care about how you did, which was rare for a STEM professor. Most of them had a sink or swim mentality with their subjects, but not him. Not good ole Hondo.

You had heard about Professor Coleman through a few of your other classmates in your program. He used to be an astrophysicist for NASA but then decided to pursue the field of teaching. Or at least that is what you heard through the grapevine. He taught a collection of undergrad students and grad students. You heard Professor Mitchell call him crazy one time for teaching so many students, but you didn't think that Professor Mitchell had much room to talk.

"I don't know if anyone you pick will put up with my incompetence for physics," you hate to admit it, but it was true. You were incompetent at the subject, basically hopeless.

"You're not incompetent, we all have areas we struggle with. I have the perfect person in mind anyways," Professor Coleman said with a smile while leaning back against his desk, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah? Who?" You gave him a curious look.

"It will be a surprise," Coleman said as he pushed up off his desk. He took a few steps over to you. "He will be helpful and patient, because it sounds like you haven't had much of that so far."

"But what if–"

Professor Coleman held his hand up to stop your words.

"No buts, and please just trust me."

"Fine, but if this doesn't work out," you grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder, "you're paying for my second semester of Physics ll."

Professor Coleman grinned, holding his hand out for you to take. The two of you shook hands, sealing the deal. As much as you didn't want to, there was an overwhelming feeling about you failing flowing through you. It felt like the only outcome, all your insecurities about your place in the world bubbling to the surface. But somewhere, deep down inside of you was a bubble or two, telling you that this tutor would help you survive the rest of the semester.

#bob floyd #robert bob floyd #robert floyd #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x afab reader #bob floyd fic #bob floyd fanfic #the physics of love #tutor!bob floyd

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otdiaftg · 6 months

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The Raven King - Chapter Eleven

Day: Sunday, November 12th Time: 5:05 PM EST

"Oh, Luther," Andrew said. "Oh, good. You made it. Saves me the trouble of going downstairs to find you. Hey, as long as you're here, do you want to explain what Drake is doing here? I can't wait to hear it. I hope it's good." "What in God's—" Luther started, voice hoarse. "Oh, no," Andrew interrupted him. "No. Don't ask what. You know better. You know better," he said again, with heat. Andrew tilted forward as far as he dared. He started to sway, but Neil caught his shoulder to keep him from falling. "Looks like I was right about him after all. Or do you still think this is all a big misunderstanding? Go on, tell me again how I'm too unbalanced to understand normal brotherly affection and love. Tell me this is natural." Nicky looked like he'd been sucker punched. Aaron's flinch was full body. Across the room Kevin was staring at Andrew like he'd seen a ghost. Andrew was oblivious to the effect his words had on any of them. He was smiling with vicious glee as he stared Luther down. "Hey, Luther," Andrew said. "Speaking of misunderstandings, am I remembering this wrong, or didn't you promise me you would talk to Cass? You told me she wasn't going to foster any more children after me, but apparently she's had six more since I left juvie. Six, Luther. I'm no good at math but even I know that six is an awful lot higher than zero. How many do you think were in her house when Drake was home between deployments? Now you let him into your house. You put him under the same roof as your son, as my brother. After everything I did to keep them away from each other?" Andrew gave Aaron's hair another fierce tug, inadvertently yanking Aaron closer to him, and finally let go. "As soon as I get my balance back I am going to take you apart, Luther. This is the only warning you're going to get." Aaron's face was white with fear and horror. "This has happened before." He said it low, like he was afraid the words would make it real. Aaron stared at Andrew like he'd never seen Andrew before in his life. Andrew didn't bother returning the look, so Aaron finally dragged his attention to Luther's face. "This has happened before, and you knew about it. You knew what he'd done and you brought him here anyway." "Is that true?" Nicky asked, but he couldn't look away from Andrew to face his father. Luther opened his mouth, then closed it again, expression bleak. Aaron only gave him a couple seconds to answer before snapping. "Get out of here," he said, and when Luther didn't move fast enough, screamed, "Get out of here!" Andrew laughed as Luther retreated from the room.

Art used with permission by Rhyva. Thank you @rhyva

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ssirenah · 7 months

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Seraa! 😭 I'm just so fucking tired, exhausted and so done with everything it's like I just wanna die and that's it :)

Actually I've Just completed my exams and today my maths teacher came to me and scolded me so hard in front of the whole class ( I feel like dying tbh ) and they took me to the principal room for not performing well in my maths exam ;( I hate maths , I always scores almost full marks in every subject but... math , sucks . I don't want them to call my parents or give them a chance to insult me in front of the whole class again

So, how do I fucking go abt that?? 😭I want to get full marks in my maths exam and show that teacher who scolded me that they was freakingg wrong and what they did was not good ..u tried to shut the ego and just be self bc this is what I am but I failed , I FAILED 😭 the ego kept coming with the worst case scenario ever possible but still I just imagined getting full marks and moved on but still nothing happened , I was thinking that I've successfully manifested full marks till my teacher scolded me ,then I knew that I failed I didn't work out

I genuinely need your help

😭~

CW: mentions of d**th (in the ask)

Oh my gosh ma lumière..😭 I'm so sorry to hear this experience! It really does suck being put on the spot like that... </3

Fortunately, I am here to help you, so don't worry! Please don't give up on yourself and your reality! <3

So first, I want to tell you this: I will explain to you in terms of nondualism, not manifesting. It seems like you are interested in nondualism but are mixing terms. Okay?

Here it goes:

Do NOT fight against your ego. Don't try and get away from it or tell it ANYTHING. Yup. Let it be. Why? Because it's not real. Not one bit. It's an illusion, it's the false self. Your true Self, "I AM," does not "DO" anything. It just IS. It just EXISTS, and "I AM" is the awareness of existence. You cannot be aware of the fact that you are already aware of your existence, aka, you cannot be any more aware of "I AM" than you already are because "I AM" is your true Self. All of these circumstances, as a result, are not real either. The ego thinks in separation and duality, but there is no duality between you and every thing that exists, because you ARE every thing that exists. Nothing can exist outside of "I AM."

So what does this mean in relation to your ask? It means, you ARE the full marks, you ARE proving this teacher wrong. It will not happen in the future because there is no such thing as time either. It IS because "I AM." There is a distinction between ego and Self, even though there is no separation between them. Remember, when you say "I," you are referring to Self. So even when you're identifying with the ego, you are STILL "I AM."

Please read this post from me and this post by vesora.I think it will help you start to re-realize your true Self. And the truth is, you are always "I AM," so there is no realization to do! :D

In short, there is nothing to do or get or achieve, because you are all there is and there is nothing outside of you!

I really hope this helps! I wish all the best on your journey and I hope you are okay! ❤️

You cannot fail!

#sseras mailbox #consciousness #non dualism #non duality #nondualism #nonduality #awareness #ask #😭

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tsutsumi-kurose · 2 months

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The announcer in 101 confirms the ones participating in the school play are first years, and since Tsukasa helped on it it means he's also a first year. Because Amane was a second year in 1969 they both would have been first years in 1968, meaning that's when Amane was fixing the clock...basically, it hasn't been officially stated it's 1968, fans just did the math.

Anyway! I wanted to ask: in the last chapter, when Akane stops time and freezes everyone in place, you can see that Tsukasa is grabbing Amane's jacket. Do you have any thoughts on this? I like how Tsukasa seems to grow more serious after Amane throws that accusation at him...I think it's something new? Tsukasa is used to being called a fake, but perhaps this is the first time Amane has done it. Regardless, the way he seems to show more concern for Amane ("Amane, look behind you") really shows Tsukasa's own feelings are a low priority for himself. Though maybe he's just able to prioritize the very real threat Kako presents to them both. I like to think Tsukasa's grab might've been to protect Amane from Kako, the beginnings of a maneuver to neutralize the threat...

Regardless I think it is so disappointing Tsukasa didn't get a true chance to react or say anything...I have to assume that was intentional on Kako's part. ;_; But!!!! What do you think?

ooh thank you sm for clarifying that!! see this is why fandom is the best ever, media is even better when you get to talk about it with other people who love it (and who are better at doing this kind of math lmao) <3

and anon you KNOW i have thoughts about it!! lol the jacket grab k i l l s me. i think it's deliberately vague, but i definitely interpret this stance as protective as well!!

hands on amane, curled, ready to pull him close or push him aside, while his eyes are on kako, who he just warned hanako about, so who i assume he sees as a threat in this moment.

and god, i love the "amane, behind you" even more.

how quintessentially tsukasa. not a moment spared for his own physical or emotional needs, not when amane could be in danger. no matter what hanako hurls at him, the first thought in his brain is always to protect him. amane can push him and yell at him and kill him and say he's not his brother--and none of it is ever enough to keep him from protecting him. i don't know if he even had the time to process what hanako was saying, because it seems like kako got up the very second hanako mentioned being suspicious of tsukasa. tsukasa is in protecting amane mode before hanako can even declare his verdict.

the words also sound almost like he's making a request... no panic in his voice, no shoving amane away to protect him. no offensive moves against hanako even though tsukasa would definitely win. looking up to amane, not wanting to break free from his hold or yell at him, even with what hanako has just said. it's such an interesting response, and so sad. everything on hanako's terms, no force used here. just a soft warning.

i definitely agree that it is emotionally crushing to not get tsukasa's response to being called an imposter… but in a way, i think we did? is ignoring the accusation in favor of protecting amane not all the response hanako--and readers--need? is that not a way of saying "you are more important than any negative thing you could say to me or any questionable state of my soul"? is that not proving that, possessed or not, tsukasa's priority is protecting amane? maybe he would have more to say if the situation weren't so dire, and i would love to hear it!! but he still says so much with the limited time he's given here.

but!! that's just my personal reading as someone who loves tsukasa very much and is very invested in his and hanako/amane's relationship. i think so many of these expressions and actions and panels are very deliberately up to interpretation. i think that's why there's been so much interesting debte after this chapter! this was a chapter of many new mysteries and questions; i think the readings of this chapter are very swayed by readers' preset opinions and feelings, bc we actually don't really learn much! (at least anything definitive about the tsukasa/god situation). and i find that SO interesting and a both testament to aidairo's talent and a beautiful example of how much a reader brings to a story. i love how emotionally swept up in this story i get, and how the clue hunting this chapter is so emotionally informed. i think it's so beautiful that aidairo almost aren't letting us have the one without the other, yknow? we don't have information, so we readers have to let our feelings guide us! how beautiful!! how on theme for the story as a whole!!

as for what kako's goal was… i'm still pretty dumbfounded!! but to offer some very scattered thoughts and theories: he definitely seems to act on hanako's words, and given that the year on the little clock we see lines up with amane messing with the big clock, i think whatever kako has planned might have something specifically to do with hanako/amane's beliefs, motivations, actions, etc… he says the god is the root of the problem, but wouldn't there be so many other opportunities to do something about it that aren't in 1968? if they're going to 1968 then amane must be the one whose actions change things the most? unless whatever tragedy happened that the disembodied hand talks about in 101 is what they're going to fix? or maybe there was a point in 1968 when the god was particularly vulnerable, or gained more power?

in terms of the timing of kako's interruption, it could just be that kako was waiting for a certain confession or puzzle piece, and he simply acted as soon as he heard it… though it would be very interesting if he was trying to keep the twins from communicating for some reason!! and 101 tsukasa's whole "do you want me to stay, or would you rather me gone? it's time you decide what you want, amane" haunts me always lol, so maybe kako went back to change that specific choice? and that maybe made him want to prevent anything else from being said between them? it would be really interesting, but i really have no idea about that at this point!!

i hope this wasn't too disjointed or hard to follow lol, thank you so much for the ask!! i was so excited to talk about this!! and still so many thoughts to sort out lol

#tbhk 111 #tbhk spoilers #tbhk theory #yugi twins #tsukasa yugi #amane yugi #hanako kun

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squarebracket-trickster · 2 months

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Sorry guys, rant incoming. I considered deleting this but I put too much effort in.

"girlboss" "girl dinner" "girl math" "boy math" "gen z are making fun of us for wearing x" "here's how to dress like gen z:" "girlies" "girl's night" "boy's night" "me and the boys" "90s kid"

"I don't feel like an adult" "I'm 34 and I can tell you, I still don't feel like an adult either." "My parents seemed like real adults when they were my age." "I still feel like a teenager."

Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you started calling yourself one. Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you stopped trying to dress like a teenager. Maybe you should move your bed out from the wall and get a wallet. Maybe find a calendar app that works for you.

You are an adult. Even if you live with your parents. Even if you do part-time shift work at minimum wage. Even if you haven't graduated college. Even if you are single. These are adult things to do. Because you are doing them. And you are an adult. Start treating yourself like an adult. Fake it 'till you make it if you have to.

In other, writing-related, news:

That trend on TikTok of 20-40 something women authors (and writers yet to be published) promoting their books like,

"Omg! I can't believe I've sold X number of copies!! I never thought I would!" "Ahhhh imagine publishing your book and all your dreams come true and now you get to meet famous authors and work with big names in the industry!!" "Would you read a book where [proceeds to list a bunch of oversaturated tropes that tell me nothing about the actual plot]?"

It reeks of infantilization. If you didn't believe anyone would want to read your book, why should I? You made it on the NYT bestseller list! Stop acting like a mega-fan who got to meet a celebrity. You are their peer! "Would you read a book--" What if I wouldn't? Why does it matter to you what I think of your book? And for the love of god stop hiding behind tropes you know are already popular. "Here is my book: This is what it is about." Have some goddamn confidence.

It is fine to mention in passing "this idea was really far-fetched so I didn't know if it would appeal" or "I was struggling with self-esteem when I wrote this". It's fine to fan a little bit. It's fine to discuss the tropes in your book. But why are you building your brand as an author off of your inferiority complex? You are using your poor self-esteem as a marketing tactic to seem "humble" and "relatable" but it's coming across as unprofessional and desperate for reassurance. You are an adult. You are competent. The more you act like it the more you will believe it.

And of course, I haven't seen a man promote his book this way...

On another note, do any of the 20-40 something women writers who do "write with me" videos on TikTok actually enjoy writing or are they just doing it for the aesthetic?

They all have gorgeous minimalism writing spaces full of white and pink and a macbook beneath a window. Their makeup is done and they are conventionally pretty to start with. But their entire video is just them talking about how little progress they made, how many pages they deleted, how often they got distracted, how frustrated they are. And like, yeah. We all have those days. But what about the good lines you can't wait to share? The days when the words just flow? The cool stuff you learned while researching? Why don't you ever make videos about that?

Is this some other attempt to seem "relatable" by only talking about the "bad" side of writing? Because again, it's coming across as lacking confidence at best and, at worst, that you don't actually know how to write. And that is not the brand you want as an author.

Again, its always women. Why must women market their self-esteem issues in order to sell their art? Why must we be perpetually awestruck children (girlies, book girls) in over our heads?

#also why do I get the sense these women are selling a lifestyle more than they are actually promoting their own books?#I feel like someone more qualified than me could link this to modelling good christian gender roles #and cultural conformity or something #it isn't lost on me how much of this is about trying to seem humble #and how much validation is tied to protestant success and hard work ideas #is this where the indoctrination starts?#give us 'role models' as influencers #also Alex Aster of Lightlark fame is the WORST for this #her content makes me physically sick to watch #and again interesting that it is pretty widely agreed on at this point that she is an industry plant #interesting that the industry plant is leaning so heavy on the humility and infantilization of women tactics #as though appealing to protestant christians is a major concern of the industry #what's that about? is it just sales? or is it related to those evangelical groups trying get books banned?#how much influence does conservative christian america have within the trad pub industry?#maybe I am really reaching here idk #I don't have any sources #it's just speculation I am open to be proven wrong

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galkyrie · 1 year

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First Kiss

Jason had thought about kissing Tim before. Early in the morning, when the pre-dawn sky was signaling their time in the shadows was up for the night, he thought about it. Sometimes, Tim'd look at him a little too long or his lips would quirk into a little too lopsided of a grin- the real one, the one reserved for his friends- and he'd think about it.

Moments like now, when the only clear way out of the unbelievably shitty situation they were in was certain death. Sacrifice, for the greater good.

Watching Tim fight against unbeatable odds, the downturn of his lips broadcasting he'd come to a similar conclusion about the way out of this? He wanted to throw his helmet off and kiss him for the first time. For the last time.

Jason loved this city. So fervently that it once felt like there was no room for anything else. He could do good here, still- had been doing good. Making his second lease on life really count.

He lived for this city.

But-

He'd die for Tim. If it was gonna be one of them- and nobody else was even close enough to the breach to be a factor, too busy trying not to be overrun- it should be him. It seemed fitting to have to do this in an old cathedral.

"Babybird," the endearment sounded off coming out of the helmet, far too monotone for the affection it carried when it left his lips. "I'm trustin' you to take care of my turf-" he kept himself calm as he spoke, ducking when Tim signaled and launched himself into the air from his shoulders, tossing disks in a rapid-fire spin.

"Shouldn't be too hard for ya- seein' as you live there already-" Bruce was fighting his way up to their position by the breach, Jason noted- probably having done the same math they had regarding their odds. He wasn't going to make it down the pews to the chancel in time to take either of their places, not at this rate.

"Hood, you don't-" Tim started to argue, landing in a roll before stabbing at one of the invading creature's joints with his bo and twisting until he heard a crack. Jason'd usually compliment the fancy footwork, but there wasn't time. Wasn't time to argue, either.

"You don't see any better option-"

"It doesn't have to be you-"

"It can't be you." His tone left zero room to argue. He- for all the good he did- Tim was better. Balancing the work in the light of day and in the dark- knew himself well enough to be able to walk up to his own line and work with people who crossed it without losing himself. He was Bruce if the man could truly wrestle the darkness and win. He wasn't an echo screaming out in that dark.

"Tim," the man's fighting was taking on a frantic edge- this argument was going to be meaningless if Tim got sloppy and got himself killed. "Take care of them for me, promise?"

"I," Tim spun again, driving his staff through a mechanical lens and activating the stun function with all that built up momentum, "I will." It was almost too quiet to hear. "I'll take care of them all." He promised, flicking his wrist and setting the ring of planted disks around them to ignite.

It bought them a moment in the onslaught- apparently all that Tim needed, because he was pressed up close and flying through the steps to unlock his hood before Jason could process the explosions around them.

Lips pressed to his, slightly chapped from the frigid winter air. It was everything he could've asked for in that moment, months of working cases together, sharing late-night meals, trading lingering glances clicked into focus.

He didn't dwell on how many of those moments- how many idle daydreams would've been able to come true, if only he'd done this when they'd had time-

Tim had done everything he could to buy them this much. It wouldn't do to use it to despair.

He kissed him back, guns dropping in favor of gripping his waist to savor the moment.

"I love you," Tim declared, resolute when he broke the kiss. "Remember that," he added, and Jason felt the blade slice through his hand.

Tim didn't hold back, using every bit of force to drive the knife through his hand and into the altar behind them.

Jason screamed, the pain spiking along his nerves a pale imitation of the wrenching feeling as he watched Tim bolt for the breach and leap into it. The tear in the universe shuddered, and Jason got a grip on the bloody hilt of his own blade and yanked hard. He wrenched himself free, heedless of the pain in his desperation to get to the breach before it-

Energy burst through the breach, hurling him back with the force of it. Bruce raced forward, catching his body as it was thrown back before he could make impact with the cold stone wall. Jason couldn't hear anything, eyes glued to where the tear folded in on itself, the only indication that he was still yelling the burn in his throat as the breach vanished, taking Tim with it.

#starting the year off with angst #jaytim #galkyrie writes #prompt response

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daintyduck99 · 5 months

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Always a sucker for an accidental first kiss for Reggie/anyone?

“You know,” Reggie says teasingly, “if you wouldn't whine so much, we'd probably be done with all of these problems already.”

It's true. They've been sprawled on Luke's bed with their math books for an hour, and he's ranted more than he's let Reggie explain. Not that Reggie really minds—he loves being here—but it would be nice to do something else with their afternoon.

Luke scowls, just like Reggie knew he would. It's too soft to be a real scowl—it's more of a pout, really. Luke likes to put on a bit of a show. He always has, but it's worse now, now that he has those muscles and that fringe and—

Well, he's always had the eyes. The smile.

It's just that everyone else notices now.

Reggie pushes those thoughts down, along with the twinge in his chest, and tunes back in as Luke tries for sympathy.

“Come on, Reg. I didn't say a single thing during class, I deserve to complain about it now. Aren't you proud of me, anyway?”

“Mhm. Congrats on not getting detention.”

Luke huffs, but it holds a hint of laughter, and he smiles as he jostles Reggie. “I can't help it. I hate this stuff, you know? You're the only thing that makes it bearable.”

Reggie flushes, jostling Luke back in the hopes that he won't notice. “Flatterer.”

Luke's eyes narrow, which is all of the warning Reggie gets before he pounces.

“Take the compliment!”

Reggie shakes his head, too focused on flipping them to speak, but it doesn't last.

They're rolling all over their math notes as they wrestle, yelping and laughing, and Luke's eyes shine. He's sure that he'll win.

He finally manages to get Reggie pretty well pinned, and he grins, triumphant.

“Got you.”

Reggie lifts his chin defiantly—

Just as Luke's ducking his head to say something else. Their lips catch like lightning, twin points of fleeting electricity before the shock jolts them apart—

Well, their mouths, anyway. Luke's still laying on top of him, and Reggie swallows.

He has no hope of hiding his flush now. He simply stares at Luke, wide-eyed, heart hammering in his throat.

Luke exhales. He runs his tongue along his lip, and his eyes are hooded when Reggie forces himself to meet them again.

“Reg,” Luke says, “can I kiss you again?”

He nods, unable to believe—any of this.

But he knows, as their lips connect and sparks ignite beneath his skin, that this is real.

Needless to say—their homework doesn't get done.

#first kiss prompts #peterpatter #ruke #ficlets with ash #julie and the phantoms

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mcflymemes · 1 year

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THE PARENT TRAP PROMPTS * assorted dialogue from the 1998 film

what's going on?

i have class and you don't.

i'll tell you what i'm gonna do.

what was your mother like?

i agree. it totally sucks.

we actually did it!

still biting those nails, i see.

oh, don't do this to me. i'm already seeing double.

any of your pictures ruined?

it's time to break up this little love fest.

you're young, beautiful, sexy...

i may never be alone with you again.

what do you expect? to live happily ever after?

what did you call me?

yes. to all of the above.

ooh, let me help you with that.

you know, sometime if we're ever really alone maybe we could talk about what happened between us.

i'm sorry, it's just i've missed you so much.

get the picture?

it ended so fast.

wow, suddenly you're so interested in math!

have you seen your father?

i would pay big money to see that woman climb a mountain.

who are you, robert de niro? yes, i am talking to you.

you probably don't remember me...

if that's the way you want it, then let the games begin.

this arrangement really sucks.

come here, we have to talk.

i think there's something on your head.

i love oreos. at home, i eat them with peanut butter.

okay, sorry. got a little nervous!

the man went completely ashen like i was the bloody ghost of christmas past.

can one of you get something cold for my head?

this is so scary.

i promise i'll make your lives miserable.

i think it's an awesome idea. inspired. brilliant, really.

i know. it seems like it's been forever.

okay, on the count of three, we'll show them to each other.

this is beyond coincidence. this is beyond imagination!

i know she was really beautiful.

most people find that totally disgusting.

totally, it's like a dream come true.

will you stop thinking about your stomach at a time like this?

i'm really thirsty.

i think you're kind of missing the point.

hey, you sounded just like me!

i learned it at camp.

it's me or them.

let's discuss this calmly. calmly and rationally.

this is so scary.

i've never been so happy in my entire life.

i have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea!

excuse me?

may your life be far less complicated than mine.

that's where i have to go.

what are you doing here?

we were so young. we both had tempers, we said stupid things so i packed.

i made the mistake of not coming after you once. i'm not going to do that again no matter how brave you are.

what has gotten into you?

you didn't come after me.

that's perfectly... perfect. have fun.

you can't get married!

i'm not so hungry anymore.

that really doesn't matter anymore.

i suppose you just expect me to go weak at the knees, and fall into your arms, and cry hysterically.

don't shut your eyes!

i'm going to take the lead.

we have a butler?

we decided to switch places.

honey, you never looked better.

this is where we're eating?

that girl is without a doubt the lowest most awful creature to ever walk the planet.

can i hug her?

how exactly are we paying for this?

i'm supposed to, aren't i?

start unzipping.

go on, just do it.

i'm crawling back into bed, and sleeping 'til lunch.

i'll make you a little deal.

i didn't even know you spoke french.

nobody. forget i mentioned it.

i've loved you your whole life.

that does not sound like a possibility, babe.

it'll totally ruin completely everything!

you wanna know the real difference between us?

how did you know that?

that would be correct.

you have no idea.

mine's a pathetic little thing.

i just hope that one day you could love me as me.

thank you, thank you very much!

don't look at me. i don't know a thing.

you're g ood, but you're just not good enough.

what are you rummaging in your trunk for this time?

don't you realize what's happening?

this is so freaky.

if i didn't know any better, i'd say it's almost like you were... forget it. it's impossible.

i hope you're not mad because i love you so much.

loser jumps into the lake after the game.

i changed a lot over the summer.

i've never seen you and i've dreamt of meeting you my whole life.

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muckmage · 6 months

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Your imaginary number explanation only works on paper and not in a physical space. That's kind of what pisses me off about math - so much of it just isn't physically real and most of it is just used for tracking wealth/money/other capitalist bullshit. Math should be about efficient ways to count and measure, not arbitrary ways to put people into debt or make rich people seem even richer so they can scam other rich people.

I also think this is why so much of our understanding of physics is flawed - our counting system has less to do with the real world and more to do with social structures, so attempting to apply it to physics doesn't work.

I just. Maybe I'm just out of the loop bc I genuinely cannot process simple math equations but I really feel the reason for that is bc it's not grounded in a sense of reality OR in a mindset I can understand. Idk I'm autisitc and also there's a likely chance I have discalculia or some other learning disability/disorder that impairs math comprehension but seeing talk abt these kinds of math problem really make me think that I'm not the problem here.

enter at your own risk, you've been warned

ok oouuh i- Well. I think you seem to have a pretty cynical outlook on maths. To say that it's all about putting people into debt and letting rich people scam each other is just. That baffles me, to be honest. It's like saying language is all about constructing the most brutal insults possible and telling people to kill themselves. Like yeah a lot of people use language to do just that but that's just one tiny part of it. Maths isn't just about efficient ways to count and measure either, by the way, it's its own language, its own art form, a vast mountainous landscape with peaks we've yet to climb and valleys we've yet to discover. Forgive me for getting poetic but maths just isn't that... small, y'know?

I also disagree that this is why our understanding of physics is flawed. To be clear: It's flawed because we're idiots. We're idiots figuring out how our new toy works by throwing it around and pulling and squishing it randomly, because it didn't come with a manual and we have no idea what we're doing. Also, mathematics isn't our way of understanding physics, it's our way of building models that try and predict what would happen in certain circumstances. That might just sounds like I'm being semantic, but I think it's important to point out that nobody actually, truly, has any idea how physics really works. In fact, no ones ever even seen physics, when we make observations about the physical world, we're just seeing what physics does. So we use maths to make models that predict what we expect to see in our observations, and then we use those models and our observations together to try and infer the nature of reality. But we're all just guessing at that point, really.

So with all that in mind, to say that our understanding of physics would improve if only we had a better suited system of mathematics is. Well, I disagree. I also think that there isn't just some "better" system of mathematics out there waiting for us to discover it. I'm reminded of Gödel's incompleteness theorem. I encourage you to look it up on your own if you want, but basically, in any reasonable mathematical system there will always be true statements that cannot be proved. So there certainly are other systems of maths and we have looked into them. They do have their own upsides and downsides depending on how they work, but to say one system is better than another is, well, if I may use the language analogy again, it's like saying one language is better than another, when really it's just different sets of words and rules for us to say the same sentences.

So when it comes back to our current system of mathematics, it's not better or worse than any other system except for how widespread it is, just like how most of the world uses metric, a standardised system of maths makes it easy for anyone to communicate the same mathematical ideas to one another. But there are other systems of mathematics that become useful tools in more niche areas of maths for people to talk and understand those difficult topics.

With all that being said now too, I don't think our current system of mathematics, or any other system really, inherently has any less to do with the real world than it does with our social structures, or anything else for that matter. In fact, I don't think any system of mathematics inherently has anything to do with anything except itself. People didn't invent maths, we discovered it and then we invented ways of talking about what we learned. But numbers are their own thing. Their own abstract metaphysical objects. And they'd exist whether there was anything alive to know about them or not. Saying that there's a special way to use them to understand physics to me implies that numbers are what physics is, in a way, but like I said we have no idea what physics is. It just so happens that numbers are an incredibly useful way of talking about what physics looks like. But it's also incredibly useful to talk about our social structures. Frankly we're incredibly lucky that we've been able to saddle these concepts from abstract space, that our minds are powerful enough to reach out beyond the real to give us these tools of ideation that we can use for so many things.

You said that maths difficult for you because "it's not grounded in a sense of reality OR in a mindset I can understand" and I think those two things are the same problem in a way. I know I just did some big talk about how maths is really this abstract thing that isn't inherently connected to the real world, but we're all still the idiots I said we were, so a lot of maths does need to get grounded in reality for it to be reasonably comprehensible. And being able to ground a mathematical concept is often about shifting your mindset until you can see it at an angle you understand.

Like, you also said that my explanation only works on paper and not in a physical space, and I actually disagree! But I do think I get where you're coming from. I suspect you're thinking about numbers like physical objects, as in, the number 1 is like having 1 apple. So well of course, negative numbers kinda make sense right? I mean you can't just have less than 1 apple but you can get an apple taken away. But when you introduce i, it's like. What does that even mean? And you'd be right that it really doesn't make sense when you think of numbers as objects like that. But numbers aren't physical objects, we're just taught like that as kids, 1 apple, 2 bananas, 3 oranges, because they want us to build the association between the symbols (1, 2, 3) and the idea of that amount of something, of that value, of 1 being 1 apple or 1 step. But that's it, 1 isn't the apple, or the step, it's the idea of "oneness" or "singleness" and 2 is the idea of "doubleness", 3 is "tripleness" etc. It's difficult to even describe the idea of "singleness" without using physical metaphors, which is why we rarely ever do think about numbers in their purely abstract forms. And it's of course why we teach kids with apples and bananas, and why we go on to teach addition and subtraction by giving them more and taking them away. Even though, likewise, addition and subtraction isn't really about giving and taking. Now, I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't think about numbers as physical objects, or addition and subtraction as giving and taking. I'm just saying those are the initial ways we ground maths in reality in order to teach the concepts in the first place. And for a lot of people, this understanding of numbers is all they need for the rest of their lives. But the truth is there are different ways of understanding numbers and the operations we perform on them, and shifting your mindset on how these things work is an important part of being able to grasp more complex concepts, like imaginary numbers.

Finally, I said my explanation does work in physical space, how is that? Well if your understanding of numbers is that they're like objects, and that addition and subtraction is like giving and taking, then it doesn't work in physical space, no. What you need to do is think about numbers as a distance, and think about addition and subtraction not as giving and taking, but instead about direction. So what that means is that numbers don't tell you how much of thing you have, they tell you how far away from zero you are. Now when people talk about the number 1, what they usually mean is positive 1, like 1 = 0+1. (We just don't always draw the addition symbol out front.) So now if 1 is the distance away from 0, then positive + is the direction you travelled away from zero in. And when you write -1, the negative symbol isn't saying you have an "opposite 1" or that you're "taking 1 away", it's that you're travelling a distance of 1 in the negative direction, which is exactly the opposite of the positive direction. On a number line, this idea is pretty easy to comprehend since you only have two directions you can travel.

However, i is defined as being the square root of -1, which doesn't make much sense if you stick with the traditional understanding of what a square roots is, since it seems impossible to take the square root of a negative number. You can take take the square roots of +1, which are just 1 and -1, since obviously 1*1 and -1*-1 both equal 1. I'd also like to point out that taking the square root of any positive number works like this, you always get two solutions which are both the same distance away from zero in opposite directions.

(Square roots and square numbers are usually taught using, well, squares, introducing exponent notation where, say, 5*5 = 5² = 25, which is explained visually with how a square of side lengths 5 naturally has an area of 25, then that the square root is the opposite of this process and that 5 = √25. As you may expect, there are other ways of defining the notion of a "square" and "square root", and I'm sure that some of those ways can help make the existence of imaginary numbers become much more obvious, it's just, to be completely honest I don't know them.)

Now, if you do try to take the square root of a -1 anyway, and you just don't accept that it looks impossible, you'll have to invent a new number that explicitly has the property of squaring into -1, and since this new number won't be able to fit on the number line what ends up happening is that the number line gets extended into the second dimension, as in, it used to be a number line but now its a number plane. And if this sounds ridiculous let me remind you, this isn't the first time we've invented new numbers and extended the number line, again: negative numbers didn't always exist.

Also, remember how I said +1 and -1 are both square roots of +1? well +1i and -1i (or just +i and -i) are both the square roots of -1, and as you can see, they also sit a distance of 1 away from zero in opposite directions. In fact, √16 = +4 and -4, and in the same way the √(-16) = +4i and -4i. I know this likely won't really be able to help you understand, but hopefully it's nice to see how it is self consistent in a way and that it does kinda help to think about numbers like that.

or anything useful at least- i'm no teacher i just like talking about this stuff:> fhsdkjhs

#viciously holding myself back from talking about the unit circle and more trig stuff and how e and pi are involved augahaugahuagh #and also from mentioning that like. antimatter exists. you literally can get -1 apples but that's so not the point fhsjdhks #oH ALSO (i) does have a use in physics too like it's used in a ton of electrical engineering it's not just a pure maths thing it's real #02 #maths moment #no joke i started writing this post hours ago. i literally got on my computer just to reply to this cause i knew it'd be a while lmaofdhkjs #ok but i. i think that's it. ouh.... i think i can finally post it ffdsgfks

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rock-swag-tournament · 11 months

Note

i just found this blog but sadly its now the quarterfinals. hyped af for this!!

(im also a rising geo major (freshmen) and was wondering if you had any words of wisdom?)

It is the quarterfinals, but I do still plan to have a rock tournament (no minerals) and another funny rock/mineral/etc tournament which you can submit things to here!

As for words of wisdom...I've had this sitting in my inbox for a couple days and the best I can do is someone else's words. One of my favorite professors has a saying. And this man, I think, is legally considered a dinosaur. That is to say, he got his degree before plate tectonics became the widely accepted theory. Anyway, he would constantly tell us "You're only as good a geologist as the amount of geology you've seen."

Rocks are WEIRD. But the more weird shit you've seen, the better you are at identifying (or at least coming up with a hypothesis about) weird shit in the future.

And I used to be like "I can never be a good geologist because I have not seen that much geology. I can't afford to travel the world, or even the country, to see more geology!"

The good news is, you don't have to travel the world to see more geology. Chances are, there are some weird and cool rocks where you are. Or at least pretty close by. Museums, parks, outcrops on the side of the road, stream beds, field trips, university hand samples, etc are all ways to see more geology.

This professor had a couple other mantras and things, some of which were his and some he borrowed. "All models are wrong but some are useful" (George Box) and "No rock is accidental" (which may be original) but I wont get into those unless anyone is dying to hear more geology philosophy.

My own advice would be 1) Have fun. It's so dumb and cliché, but it's true. In particular, field trips were some of the most fun I've ever had. Even when I was wet and/or cold and/or miserable and/or exhausted (and/or a bit hungover), they're a good time. You get to see real rocks (that sometimes aren't accessible to the general public)! Stand on the edge of highways (and sometimes people stop and ask what you're doing)! Go inside caves or ford streams to see rocks if you're extra lucky!

Also, I haven't met a geology major who stayed with the major who didn't like it. I mean there were times that I was in the basement of the geology building at midnight like, "I have to memorize the names of 155+ rocks for a test tomorrow and I am going to fail why did I ever do this?" but I passed those tests, and there was always at least one other girl in my class who would show up and put on Studio Ghibli lo-fi and we'd study together.

It isn't all fun field/lab work and licking rocks. There is a lot more math and chemistry and physics (and even biology) than most people might anticipate. But it's all more than manageable. And it's COOL to see those fields interacting. So if you hate every second of it, something ain't right!

Which leads me to 2) It's okay if the plans change. When I showed up to campus as a freshman, I was CERTAIN that being an archaeologist was my calling.

I changed my major before the end of September.

Now, I was taking both geology and archaeology classes that first semester. I intended to get a minor in geology or maybe even double major. But I switched to a geology major with an anthropology minor (and a few other minors thrown in for fun). And the best part was, I was able to do both! My capstone project was using geophysics for archaeological investigation!

So, words of wisdom: See all the rocks you can. Love the rocks. Have fun with it! I don't know any other majors at my school that had field trips! I went to museums, outcrops in the middle of nowhere, and National Parks (and Greece for my research) for FREE. I got to play with rocks and acid and big machines and draw pictures and color stuff (the stuff I was coloring was a completely incorrect cross section of the local geology, but still).

And if all that ends up NOT being what you wanted, change your mind, but try and keep your love of rocks. You can always get a minor!

Obviously I hope it is what you want and it stays what you want! I want every person I meet to LOVE geology. So even when you are confused and there's too much shit to memorize and you want to change your major, see if you can't find some of the really fun shit about this amazing field.

Also, if you get the chance to use a rock saw, fucking take it.

#and if my ramblings are not enough i'm happy to elaborate #i am nothing if not long winded and passionate about geology #ask #geology

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asongofstarkandtargaryen · 4 months

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Not to demonize Cat but the woman literally said Arya was a trial and she wanted her to be like Sansa; she admired Edmure’s efforts to look after his people but at the same time she saw them as useless mouths to feed; she wanted 14 year old Jon out of his own home in Winterfell. How is that supposed to be similar to him? Same with Sansa being Ned 2.0 just because she’s in the Vale. She doesn’t recall any of his lessons like his other kids do. He is a man who lived and died for his family and was overall well liked by his people. He carried Lyanna’s secret to his grave. Sansa snitched on her family (bitterly regretting it) because she was in love with the little psycho who tried to murder her sister and she barely had any contact with the smallfolk. The math doesn’t add up. Just reads like a Jon/sa fetich of NedCat 2.0, same people who insist Jon longs for Cat’s love and approval since he has oedipus complex or whatever. But one can not erase canon and none of the women Jon felt attracted to had anything to do with Cat. They need milk of the copey.

Yes, I agree with you.

Comparing Catelyn saying that Arya was "a trial" while the latter was missing to Jon gifting Arya the Needle, it's clear that those two characters view Arya's behavior differently.

Arya herself was doubting that her mother would want her ( which mind you wasn't true, Catelyn wanted both her daughters back. But it says a lot about the impression she had given to her child through her behavior). Meanwhile, she was certain that Jon would want her even if no one else would. Jon's acceptance is wholeheartedly, he doesn't criticize Arya's parts their society considers unwomanly ( and in fact, all the girls he finds attractive share those traits of hers).

Here is the thoughts of Catelyn when her brother gives shelter to innocent people in Riverlands war zone:

Only my sweet brother would crowd all these useless mouths into a castle that might soon be under siege.

ACOK - Catelyn I

Jon Snow in ADWD is doing exactly what Catelyn is criticizing her brother for, he gives shelter to "useless mouths" ( aka all the Wildings that can't contribute to the fight against the Others).

Jon's worldview, beliefs and behavior is so different from Catelyn's that it's laughable to claim that "he's Catelyn with Ned/Lyanna's characteristics". Do they have a couple of things/ traits in common? Surely, but so does almost any pair of pov characters. That doesn't mean all of them are copies of each other.

Moving to Sansa, I disagree with the fandom's notion that she's Ned 2.0. As you said, she doesn't recall his lessons like his other children do. That's not to condemn her because Ned taught mainly the boys and Catelyn was responsible for the girls ' education ( Arya is the exception here because we know that she liked to follow her father and see him performing his duties as the Castle's Lord).

And then there is the scene where Sansa tells Cersei her father's plan. Again, I'm not gonna codemn a 11 years old for making a silly decision but considering that a major theme in Ned's story is that he never revealed his sister's secret, preferring to soil his honor in order to protect it I fail to see the similarities between father and daughter in terms of personal values and priorities.

As I often say, Sansa was way closer to her mother than she ever was to her father and she shares some core beliefs with her ( plus her narrative comparison to Cat is important due to the Littlefinger obsession with both of them). So if the fans want to link Sansa to any of her parents, Catelyn the correct choice imo.

On a side note, I'm sure that you probably meant no harm but I don't like the word "psycho" to describe awful characters. Joffrey was a little shit but that was because he was spoiled by his mother and neglected by his father. He didn't have any psychosis. Mental illnesses affect real people and that's why I don't like seeing them being used as slurs.

#asoiaf ask #laren-dorrs

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autogeneity · 4 months

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Hi, I was looking into computer science and I wanted to ask you what drew you to it and how you feel about it as a career choice?

I don't think my reasons for getting into it are likely to be very helpful to anyone else because they are very specific to my life at the time and not actually much about computer science at all. Skip to the last section for more relevant things.

But here is my story —

I went into university with a starry-eyed idea of understanding the True Fundamentals of Everything and was majoring in maths, physics, and philosophy. also my brain was broken and I had a very fuckd't relationship to reality as a concept (mega derealisation with substantial perceptual distortions and potentially some delusional features) and some part of me saw this as Deep Philosophical Insight, while another hoped getting The Answers would solve it.

after a year it became apparent that this was probably at least a little silly and not going to happen, and I didn't actually see myself being a professional physicist irl.

additionally, I felt more drawn to doing something with more tangible outcomes in the real world rather than chasing maximum abstraction. I had a growing interest in neuroscience and AI and simulation, but also could maybe see myself becoming a professional mathematician. so I kept the maths and switched the others to computer science and psychology.

I guess the specific CS appeals were: I already knew some programming and had found it basically trivial to learn, so I sort of figured it is probably a good match for my brain. and I like puzzles (actually when I first got to uni all the departments were doing little recruitment speech thingies and the CS department actually gave us puzzles! I somehow imagined this would be representative of literally anything (it is not)). I still find those, like, code challenge type problems a lot of fun though.

the final thing that sealed the deal was the availability of a scholarship for maths+cs major, and the fact that it could provide a backup plan if my academia plans failed.

---

As for how I feel about it — well, my academia plans did fail so I am very glad I had a backup in place. Even if they hadn't gone wrong at the time, it's pretty clear to me now that the many mental health issues I continued to deal with in the time since would have led to me fucking up in academia sooner or later in a way they did not in my job. There is much, much more latitude here.

And it's pretty alright as a job; I'm not ecstatic about it but I don't really mind overall and it is sometimes fun. I actually like bug-fixing, lol — the kind where there's an immediately-obvious mistake and I just gotta correct it is boring but the hunt is fun. In general I dislike the amount of small, tedious tasks where I just gotta do some obvious thing, but I like it when I get to build something more substantive that requires more figuring out. I am somewhat fond of the way the shape of the things feels in my brain (not sure that makes any sense lmao). Albeit there are not really many puzzles. :(

But I'm not intending to stay in my current work. I worked briefly in data science and found it much more engaging. I plan to move towards that and/or stuff in the direction of bioinformatics or scientific computing or computational neuroscience. Which is all still computer science but not. software development.

---

Which is probably the biggest thing I would want to highlight for someone considering computer science. In general working in software development (the most typical career path) is very different to working in computer science. Very often someone interested in the one will not be very happy with the other. I would encourage identifying which is your interest, and seeing what they both actually entail, before pursuing anything.

Because like, if you want a run-of-the-mill programming job, in many places it might be worth considering just doing some sort of bootcamp and projects. The company I work at gets probably like 20% of their graduate hires from that stream. Much cheaper and faster than a degree! Or for various other types of work certifications might be a good approach.

If you like mathy things, you probably want computer science proper. If you like engineering, tiny technical details, performance focus, etc, you probably do want formal education and may want to look at things requiring low-level languages, e.g. embedded software. I think people who like twiddling and configuring enjoy cloud shit? or infrastructure and ops work more generally but I think these days most places that looks like cloud shit. If you like the big picture, modeling, and the human side, you may be interested in systems analysis (I find this Very Shaped tbh but am not up for the human side and honestly don't like making big judgement calls).

Somehow I don't actually know what the people who like everyday application development actually like about it specifically lmao? even though they are surely the majority. But ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#asks #shinyangelwombatknight #long post #guess I took the opportunity to go off #I am sort of contemplating my career future and motivations and recently applied for a masters and several jobs #so thinking out loud somewhat also #also it is technically not true that the puzzles are not relevant to anything #they are relevant to job interviews. for some reason.#I have encountered a situation where I needed to apply that sort of thinking exactly one time #and that was a cryptographic thing #I don't really understand what they are proxying

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ethanngenloss · 4 months

Text

Merry Christmas Here is Ethan pov of Episode 2

Tw: murder, cannibalism, homophobia, mentioned explosives, mind control, sleep drugs, open bodies (patient Charlie), mentioned gunshots, anything else mentioned in mastermind of the warehouse

Ethan never knew whether to like or hate filming the shows. At least this one was over now though. The plot was a bit awful, something Ethan couldn't even keep up with. All he knew was he had killed Vinny and eaten part of him. He always hated how much he enjoyed the taste of human meat but it was something to eat. He knew that one of the drones would come by to reset him soon, he didn't even bother to move from his spot. They'd already taken Vinny's body away so he was left in an empty set next to a pool of blood. Not even registering the figure walking up next to him.

"Ethan?" He wiped the blood off his face and turned his head to face the other person.

"Oh hey Austin, what's um, what's up?" Ethan was surprised Austin actually wants to talk with him after probably witnessing all he did. Not that he's exactly complaining, he enjoys Austin's company.

"I need to tell you something before they reset us, it's important." Austin seems nervous to say this, as if he was breaking a rule. Which technically, he was but Ethan didn't know that. Ethan tilts his head to the side as a sign he is listening. "I-i think I'm in love with you. I think you're just amazing and I-" Ethan is no longer listening. He has too many thoughts running through his head to register the words coming from Austin's mouth. Too many thoughts to notice the employees carrying masks towards the two. He's too focused on how he's been taught to think about how disgusting and wrong gays are. How he's been repressing his own feelings for Austin to keep the two of them safe. And then Austin just makes all his hard work disappear. Before he can really respond, a mask is shoved on his face and it all goes blank.

When he comes to, he's strapped to a carousel with a bomb around his neck. He turns his head every which way to see what's going on with this set. Vinny is still unconscious on his right and he remembers the taste of his flesh. Austin is on his right and he realizes that he didn't forget anything this time. He remembers the last show, and he remembers Austin's confession. As he looks, he sees a door and some kind of control panel in front of him. Niki and... what's left of Frank is also on the carousel. Surprisingly, so is Sneeg. He's sat directly behind him but Ethan can tell that he's awake. Showfall is probably gonna get stronger sleeping drugs for them soon. Ethan makes sure that the cameras aren't on yet before attempting to talk to Sneeg.

"Any idea what we're doing this time?" Sneeg barely responds,

"New guy, Puzzler's probably here too given the spirals and TVs. There's also audience interaction this time around. Which is new."

"Oh that's just great." Ethan says sarcastically. Now all they do is wait for the others to wake up. Ethan and Sneeg are, unfortunately, trusted enough by Showfall to where they don't need many implanted memories to put on a good show but the others almost always have totally fake backstories.

After the others wake up and a while of mostly fake panic, the new guy Sneeg mentioned opens the door. Everyone instantly switches to pleading for their lives and for him to get all of them out. Eventually The Puzzler has to come in because someone (probably Sneeg) broke the TV and explains that Ranboo, so that's his name, gets to pick someone to come with him and the rest die. So Ethan starts to explain his case. He wants to get out, to get back to Turner (is Turner real?), that he lost everything in the 2008 recession (is that why he was sent here?), that he's unemployed (technically true), his fiance left him (Did they really leave? That doesn't sound right), that he's bad at math (didn't get a full education), but he's good at other things (he knows how to be useful to the show, how to be entertaining, how to appeal to the audience). He's cut off and after some issues with the carousel controls, they move onto Austin. And what Austin says nearly breaks Ethan. He claims to have a wife and kids. The group tells him he's lying and pressure him to admitting that it's a lie, but Ethan's the most adamant about it. He hates to hear that and after his confession, its so much worse. At some point Charlie is rolled in, his stomach cut open and his guts visible. Ethan notices his mouth watering and stops himself. The cycle continues on and the audience votes. Picking Niki and Sneeg. The audience has to do a puzzle and then they're gone. Even the Puzzler and the Rats have left. But they weren't killed. There's silence. And later, Ranboo comes back through the room and the pleading starts up again. He goes into the room he originally came from and brings back a game piece. Apparently they're playing Mousetrap. The Hero leaves and all is silent again. Two gunshots are later heard and Vinny is unbound and ushered to the next room. And still they are not dead. They still have use. Charlie stopped moving and talking a while ago, probably died. So that leaves only Ethan and Austin strapped to the carousel. The cameras are off with no sign of turning back on and so Ethan attempts to do something risky. He tries to reach and grab Austin's hand. But his hands are too tightly bound. He can't reach. And so he looks away and hopes Austin didn't notice. But what Ethan didn't know was that Austin had noticed. Some time later, they're brought into a room that looks like a huge closet. The clue The Puzzler gives them is vague and none of them have any clue what to do so Ethan suggests something.

"He said looks can be deceiving so what if we deceive him with our looks?" The others don't have any better ideas so they try that out. But Ranboo is clearly controlled and Sneeg got put further under at some point too so it's mostly him and Austin trying. Ethan hopes his idea might jog Austin's memory since he's still very insistent that he has a family. It sorta works. Austin's at least more comfortable in himself and is now wearing a wig and heels. The Puzzler comes back and they do a small fashion show but that wasn't the puzzle so they take all the stuff off and start looking around the room again. They find two buttons that turn on the blacklights which illuminate drawn arrows and words. It's too obvious and the group doesn't trust it. The Puzzler comes back and leaves again and Ethan thinks he knows where the Puzzler left through. He tries to pick a shoe off of a shelf and it begins to turn. He yells that is the way out before he's turned enough to see Security. He screams as Security behind to tear into him and he doesn't know why. Maybe it's because he basically did drag and tried to get Austin to as well. Maybe they found out about his feelings for Austin. But he's being killed and he's bleeding out. He can hear Austin screaming about the blood and begging for the others to react to it. And then nothing.

Little did Ethan know that this was enough to make Austin remember. Little did Ethan know that Austin realized how much Ethan was trying. Little did Ethan know that Austin was so distraught he could hardly think.

#sorry the voices #merry crisis #merry crysler #this took me like a day

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thekingofcrochet · 11 months

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please pretty please share your thoughts on the label of gifted and how we burnout because we need more about this and how it places pressure on children when they’re just supposed to be kids instead of the expectation of being a baby scholar

So because there's no true national standard in the USA for K-12 education, there can't be a standard of what a "gifted child/student" looks like.

A high schooler studying astronomy on their own time is only "gifted" if that student doesn't have access to an astronomy class. If the same student is able to take an astronomy class and doesn't, that's called "wasted potential".

But if we step back any further and look at the cookie cutter yet unstandardized education system as a whole, we end up with real concerns.

In some school districts, an elementary school student testing well and above average for their grade group can skip a grade. In some other school districts, that elementary school student gets pulled out to a seperate advanced math or reading (cause it's only math or reading) class while still being with the same grade group for everything else. And in other school districts that elementary school student is getting extra math problems/reading/writing assignments given to them by the teacher as extra credit or for fun and to develop skills. And in some districts still that same student could be told to sit down, shut up, and stop being bored while the drone of material they already understand washes over them for 8 hours a day every day.

The main thing here is none of this means anything unless the kid tests well. You could have experienced all of Shakespeare by the time you were 15 but if you don't know how to differentiate between verbal and dramatic irony or how to find sinθ of a 30-60-90 triangle then you're stuck with the rest of the 9th graders in 11 out of 13 cases.

Teacher's may have called you gifted because you were the one child who understood complex sentences in 2nd grade before everyone else. But in that class of 25 were 3-5 students who couldn't tie their own shoes or button their coats, 1 student still in pull-ups, 2 students with parents' going through a messy separation and the rest are 50% just average kids who don't ask questions and 50% students who ask one question per unit. You have a few close friends but try not to be a bother to others when you're frustrated because speaking out didn't get you anywhere.

You may have been called gifted and then were sent to a different grade/school without any of your friends and so felt like an antisocial outsider thus hindering your social and emotional growth. You have anxiety but you're good at math and finding things to do on your own.

Maybe you're old enough to have been called a savant - spectacular in a few areas and dismal at everything else.

You learned how to take tests cause that's what all your grades were based on. You could make the most creative and thought out diorama showcasing the political assassination of Julius Caesar. But if you didn't do good at standardized tests (which were always math or reading) you could be repeating 6th grade. So you figure out what they test for and you get good at that and maybe you do okay at everything else.

At a point you burn out.

I was 1 point shy of testing out of 2nd grade in elementary school. It was probably because I'm bad at math. Or I was bad at math because I was good at reading and writing so I was always given books and notebooks and pens (the gel pen era has never died in my heart). No one cared to see how bad at math I was until it got to the point where I got a D on my 4th grade report card. I don't remember a call home saying I wasn't doing my best in math. I just remember the physical and mental punishment from achieving a D (something I thought only happened in fiction). It didn't matter that I was being bullied for being "good at art" either. The thing wrong with my bullies is that they were jealous of me. The thing wrong with me was that I couldn't remember the answer to 7x8.

In 5th grade I got to borrow my teacher's copy of Wicked (the novel) and devoured it over a long weekend. I read + finished the 6th hp book in a day and my mother got mad at me because I was "running out of books to read". We didn't go to the public library even though I had a library card (my father got me and my brother a library card but he worked 2nd or 3rd shift.) So I only read for fun when I could afford it.

I don't think I read a single book between 2015 and 2021. Not for fun anyway. I was too busy failing ever thing that I'd never done before. No one had ever asked me the month/date/year that Rodin's The Thinker was made. I never had to interpret music into visual art before college. It turns out that everyone hates when you read slam poetry at open mic night for the 6th night in a row. And one day you wake up and wonder why you've been pouring all of yourself into a job you hate while also pouring all of yourself into finding a job that isn't as bad as the one you have now.

If I was younger, this would have been cute. Most of child development is hands on. Tying shoes, telling time, learning to cook, learning to drive. What to do in case of an emergency and how to identify different types of emergencies.

I was getting CPR certified to become a licensed babysitter when I was in high schooler. My pre-calculus teacher thought that I was cheating by looking at answers in my lap, but I didn't want him to see me doing math on my fingers.

I had to learn how to drive but I don't know anything about car maintenance because I was supposed to become rich and successful because I was "special" and "gifted".

I'm not special or gifted - I'm a human adult that doesn't know how to check the oil in their vehicle or do math (like leaving a tip) without a calculator

But I'm also getting back into reading for fun and making dumb art since i realized that being a "gifted" child can't define me forever.

#ask me anything #long post #no one wanted me to write all this #but I have feelings

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pyrrhocorax · 8 months

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4 10 20 35 !

OKAY I know you asked this a bit ago sorry i got busy!!! work!!! turtle took a tiny chunk out of my finger!! the usual! y'know What's a headcanon you need to work out? i am blanking real hard with this but i Guess what i consider to be estonia's true name b/c von bock is von bullshit has been a constant Thought of mine for a long time. sme goes for a lot of nations that have bad canon names or no canon names like what the FUCK would i name them. it takes so much effort for me to decide. How long have you been in the fandom? What's your lore? i've been around a while! i can't date exactly when i started but it was at least sometime in 2008. i Think it was in the late fall of 2007, i've been trying to do the backwards math and i think this makes sense timeline wise, but my memory isn't exactly great. i figured out yesterday i am Pretty sure i was into hetalia before den/nor/ice were released?? which is. wild to me. anyway the story is that i occasionally saw hetalia fanart in passing and i was like. what the fuck is this but i don't care enough to investigate. and then i watched darker than black and was like wow i gotta tell my (now ex-)friend about this new cool anime darker then black b/c i am enjoying it a lot and i think she would too! and then my friend was like "i am going to totally ignore you. watch this thing called hetalia instead. you like other countries and history and languages and shit you should like this it's so funny" and i watched it and i didn't find it as funny as she claimed but i thought the concept itself was utterly Fascinating and i became Obsessed. my initial favs were japan/prussia/estonia initially, all for radically different reasons. i can elaborate on that if prompted it's just more text than i care to put here. then the den/nor/ice dropped and we had some comics with the nordic 5 and i was like oH FUCK these character dynamics between them are So Fun!!! and i have been in Hell every since. this is my third time getting back into hetalia after swearing it off for good and uhhh i think i have just been in denial this entire time that i am stuck here forever. Favorite Hetalia relationship dynamic? Any combination of the Anko Trio without question. they're such an interesting little complicated group. Post a Hetalia sketch or draft you want an excuse to share i am not very good at drawing and draw from the perspective of a more refined 8 year old child or something (positive). but i also don't have anything currently drafted writing wise that feels complete enough either so i am gonna share a dumb doodle i did and also share some upcoming things i plan on doing.

one of the chapters of the SOS sequel is going to be called "The Joy Machine" and i am. very excited about that.

also have a neat NorAus idea i am obsessed with and will probably write soon-ish. once i sleep and think a bunch

#pyrrhocorax fic #pyrrhocorax ask

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