Gender? I hardly know her!

Who wants to come over and have a crush on me

[sits up suddenly in a cold sweat] what if my corpse doesn't rot

I hate work I should be at the (remembers I don't want to go to the club) the imagination

we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

fuck with me

Been seeing a lot of posts i want to unleash the scarab on 🪲

actually there were 0 time travellers on the Titanic, because the time cops have an entire outpost to safeguard that one particular point in history. every rookie spends a least a month on Titanic duty and they all complain bitterly about it since it is, essentially, the time travel equivalent of being the guard who has to stop tourists from licking the Liberty Bell.

what do they put in large rocks that make u just want to. stand on it.

Crazy how quickly playing the lyre made me better at fingering

Waittttt did you keep the name Leah? :D That's so great and epic I'm petting you on your puppy head sorry

people will call me anything and i am helpless to stop them

I picture you in my heads as like a slug. Mucky slug

waow.., we're all so blessed to be able to use such wonderful imaginations aren't we

getting my brake lines fixed every time my wife cuts them is expensive but i dont mind atall. i love her

video game secret: there's clever wordplay hidden in the title of the game "nintendogs". the word "dogs" is cleverly added on to the name "nintendo" to form the word "nintendogs". this is actually a reference to the concept of "puppies"

christian scripture: "Today a calf gave birth to a hot and ready 14 inch pepperoni pizza. You know what that means. Yuuuuup. Christ is king."

why is this about to make me sob