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#i didn’t want to make it a whole huge post bc i actually wanted to post it LMFAO
junicult · 7 months
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okay so i love to crochet and i was wondering how you think the bachelors would react to like a handmade crocheted gift? like can you imagine giving harvey like a knit sweater or something like 🥰🥰
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omg as an AVID crochet lover myself, this is so cute. when i’m not writing i’m literally crocheting.
contains ; established relationship. fluff. gn!farmer, gender non-specified. drabble. this is lowkey sloppy but i haven’t posted in a few days & i wanted to post something lol. also i love crochet UGH this idea was so cute😭😭
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i just imagine the first time they come over to your little cottage, they’re just observing the place absentmindedly while talking with you. the large blanket dangling over the couch, the potted plant hanging from the ceiling, the mug rugs on the tables. some notice it more then others (harvey & elliott lmfao) but otherwise they’re leaning against your crochet pillow without a deeper thought.
it’s probably not until you’re relaxing together, around the second or third time hanging out at your house when he looks over and you’re sitting cross-legged beside him, hunched a bit, crocheting so effortlessly it almost looks like you aren’t even paying attention to it.
“you made this?” he asks, shocked at how quickly you’re able to.
“hm? yeah, you didn’t know?” you laugh, now a little more self-aware of how your hands move, looking up at him.
sam would be starstruck, and now all of a sudden he stops caring about what’s playing on the tv and he’s asking you all sorts of questions about the hobby.
seb and shane would find it interesting, for sure. seb might even wanna learn it, he has long fingers & it’d be so easy for him. and shane would act super impartial aside from his initial comments, but he’s constantly looking over and watching you silently LMFAO.
dare i say alex is familiar with it, being it was probably a common hobby of evelyn’s that he’d be used to using her projects for comfort. maybe even his mom used to crochet a bunch, and he’d just sit and watch, mesmerized as a little kid.
harvey and elliott, however, would be so enthusiastic about it. they’d think it was so cool, especially harvey considering he finally learns you have a hobby that keeps you in the safety of your own home and away from danger LMFAOO.
but they’re all interested in the same thing, “what do you know how to make?”
“a lot, to be honest. i’ve got a few sweaters in my closet, but they aren’t necessarily the most comfortable to wear when i’m working.” you chuckle, continuing on the large blanket currently draped over both you and your boyfriend’s lap.
it’s almost hypnotizing them, while you talk, they’re leaning closer and closer.
i know they’d all be excited when you send them home with one of your smaller projects, despite it being an indirect gift. they’re still looking at it with the knowledge that you handmade it all on your own.
so when it’s a few weeks or months later, they’re much-acquainted with this hobby of yours because they’re constantly drowning in those blankets every time they come over—when you ask them, “what size shirt do you normally wear?” it doesn’t register why you’d possibly be asking that in their mind.
that’s not until their individual birthdays show up, and you’re beaming with a perfectly wrapped box in your hand.
“you didn’t have to get me anything,” he smiles all cliche, taking the box in his hands.
“oh hush and just open it.”
it’s much to his pleasure to rip the wrapping paper off, opening the box to see the softest knit sweater laying perfectly folded right in front of his eyes.
“did you make this?”
“maybe,” you drawl. “do you like it?”
he lifts it up, watching it unfold to it’s full length. it was made with thicker yarn, definitely something intended for winter. it was almost instinct for him to press it against his chest, even more so when you reach to stretch the arms over his own to see if your measurements were right.
“i love it, it’s so soft. when did you make this?” he asks, because now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t even remember seeing this anywhere in your house.
“a couple weeks ago. i just kept it in my drawer. do you want to try it on?”
you don’t have to ask him twice; he’s throwing it over his t-shirt, a little more carefully then he’s ever put on any other item of clothing. before he turns to the mirror, he faces you with a little grin.
“you look handsome. i knew that color would like nice on you.” you smile, giving him exactly what he wanted to hear while looking him up and down.
when you gesture towards the mirror, he takes a look on his own. maybe it’s because you made it, and it was a gift from you, but suddenly—this is his new favorite sweater.
because someway somehow you got his perfect measurements, the sleeves cuffing right at his wrists, the hem perfectly braided right along where the waistband of his pants start, and, you were right. that color does look nice on him.
he spends the rest of that evening with it on, not even bothering to take it off because it feels just like his favorite blanket of yours.
it’s an even bigger plus when you slide your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek against the soft material as another excuse to give him a hug—probably the biggest advantage to his new favorite sweater.
and believe me, months will pass, even more sweaters will be gifted, yet; he’ll continue to show up at your door for another date night, cozily snug in his favorite present he’s ever received.
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albedobeheading · 6 months
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last day in Rome probably ever
#didn’t see the Vatican or statue of David but hey ya win some ya lose some#I still would not be surprised if I get a huge text from my friend after I leave saying that we’re no longer friends#I think I’ve said all of this stuff before#and it wasn’t even that like. I actively wanted to go home and was sad outwardly the whole time#my posts may beg to differ but I think like three days in it became a wanting to go home situation to be away from here#not back to where I wanted to be#I did go to a few churches and those were amazing every time and the one museum I went to was also very cool#maybe I also associate a lot of stress with my camera#I think my friend is also maybe just a bit narcissistic?? Ik everyone is the main character in their life but like. reminds me of my mom#when she exaggerates how scary something was or how a story only happened because of her#my friend always tells the story wrong of how we met where she makes herself the one who instigated the conversation but it actually was me#and I slightly helped my friend make mashed potatoes for thanksgiving and she made direct eye contact with me and said she did it all by#herself and the potatoes were actively trying to kill her#she also misgendered and deadnamed our mutual friend to her other friends and again I just#I’ve said this before and I know it is fucked but I am thankful and privileged that my gender fuckery is not so extreme that I can be#deadnamed. bc it really is your own people! and sure everyone is learning but!!!#and I also have not always been the ally I need to be and corrected people in the moment#that’s also its own thing of who people are out to so I’ve gotten better about asking if they use their pronouns with everyone or just with#friends at whatever point in their transition. even at that yanno#I think it’s called a red lie? where it hurts someone but benefits you? bc there were also times I didn’t want to have to explain#who is trans to my mom. depending on the day she’ll either be so phony and welcoming or just refuse to get it. anyway#half of that doesn’t relate to my current situation#I also do sometimes worry though if I’m coming off as self centered/ narcissistic if I take up space in convos or if I’m not checking on#people/ if I’m actively making a situation bad for others. the cop out answer would be to say that there’s a learning curve to this stuff#but I still need to be actively trying. I think I need to not be a bitch when I’m planning things bc sure even tho I sometime get stressed#it’s for all of the people I love that also love each other to hang out. what could possibly be bad about that#I’m gonna get up now
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beefboyandbabygirl · 10 months
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Pretend It's Someone That Came for You (18+)
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pairing: coworker!wonwoo x fem!touch-starved!reader
genre: coworker au, office au, strangers to lovers, angst w a happy ending, smut (MDNI!!), fluffy fluffy fluff fluff
description: you're lonely. you're so lonely you think it might actually kill you. but when wonwoo transfers to your office, he might just change that fact.
warnings: unprotected sex (do NOT pls my babes), soft dom!wonwoo, sub!reader, v loving sex, praise (f. receiving), confession of love, riding, fingering (f. receiving), pussy rubbing tihi, pet names (pretty girl, good girl, baby, darling, etc), VERY angsty beginning, yn is truly v sad so DO NOT READ THIS if u fear it will make u sad!!, they say i love u unrealistically fast but i had to do it, yn uses sex to feel less lonely/ends up feeling more lonely, relatable yn frs, slightly dramatized symptoms of touch-starvation (?), kinda boring plot but idc bc its CUTE AF
quotes from my creative director (@joshibambi): "finally!!" (she was fed tf up), "stanley is the most stanley man ever. i hate him but i love him.", (more r coming she actually didnt have time 2 read this and i didnt want to wait with posting.)
wordcount: 10.0k
a/n: this story was supposed 2 have more angst, like it was supposed to have this whole misunderstanding, but it just didnt feel right, it made me sad, so instead this is a short n sweet love story xx
Sometimes you think that the loneliness might kill you. 
You weren’t always like this. You remember being a sociable, joyful child; half-broken bikes and teddy bears and booster seats. You remember pigtails and popsicle sticks and Power Rangers, and what came after that? Being a moody teenager, became being a moody adult. High school became college, and college became an office job that served to keep you alive, even if it didn’t feel like being alive. College wasn’t that bad, you remember, so at what point had you mistaken isolation for privilege? And at what point had you gone too far into that tunnel-hole to turn back? 
 You must’ve been cursed, you think, putting on your outfit for work in the deadly still apartment. Dust dares not move, dares not give you hope that you are not alone. 
You must’ve been cursed, you think, coming into work to a string of half-hearted, mumbled greetings. Your office is off-white and black and gray and everyone inhabiting it is also off-white and black and gray, and their skin is faintly oily and sickly and their faces are dragging down as if the very earth was reclaiming them and you think that you fit in here better than anywhere else. 
You must’ve been cursed, you think, when you spend your day writing emails and organizing documents of information into different formats to send to huge corporations. Sometimes you fantasize about the other end of the transaction. Maybe their office is warm and brown with an accent of blue, and maybe people put hands on each other's shoulders, when they tell one another they’ve done a good job. 
Yes, there’s no other explanation, you think, and can’t even muster the energy to feel bad when you blame some old hag from your hometown. You think she must’ve conjured up the worst ingredients, something cartoonishly evil, and a spell befell you, sunk into the crevices of your skin and dug into your pores.
You lie on your couch with a glass of wine and the television going, but you’re not really listening. You don’t think anyone has touched you in six months. You’re not even sure you’re real anymore. You swear, you could live with no one hearing you out, because you’re not sure you’d have anything worthwhile to say, but you just needed someone to touch you. To reach out a hand and confirm, you’re real, you’re right underneath my fingertips, and I’m squeezing your shoulder, and I see you, and I feel you right here.
Sometimes you think that the loneliness might kill you.
Lying physically very still, you still feel like you’re scrambling, fighting the clutch of the curse, and tugging on metal chains. Maybe that’s where all your energy goes. 
What do normal people do when they feel this bad?
Sometimes you leave open the window, and when the wind tugs at your door, you pretend it’s someone that came for you. 
Tug, tug, tug. The door rattles against its hinges when the fatally empty sky brings to you, in outstretched palms, the wind interlaced with glimmers of hope. 
There’s never anyone at the door.  _____________________________
This particular day starts like any other. You wake to your alarm and you put on clothes and you get ready and brush your teeth. Then you trample down to the bus stop. The sky is smothered by a duvet of heavy rain clouds. The rain hasn't come yet, but you know it will. Your fingers become stiff and hard, where they adhere to the polyester strap of your bag, massaging it. The bag is cold and dead.
The bus ride is by far the greatest part of your day. It’s quiet - early enough that you’re only accompanied by a few other souls. You rest your head on the window, vibrating gently against the curve of your forehead, and watch the people in the street. 
 The bus hums a gentle tune and snakes down the streets. Then you’re there, and whatever solace that it offers you under artificial light and mediocre, felted seats is gone. 
Your office building is maybe the most depressing place on earth. It’s no glamorous feat of architecture. It is but a large, orange-y, puke-y, brick square, and the building is shared between yours and the Forester company. You don’t talk to the Foresters, but you know they eat cream cheese bagels on their breaks and throw birthday parties and once you saw the branch manager squeezing a salesman’s shoulder and telling him he had done a good job. His fingers squeezed down and the movement of the fabric revealed a shoulder pad built into the suit. You remember thinking it was a shame that it blocked the real touch. 
Today, you walk up the stairs with heavy steps and you idle into the office building, eyes cast down to the dirty, gray carpet. You begin the long trek into the back of the building where your desk is located.
“Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Tina.
“Morning, Tina,” you mumble back.
“Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Gerard. 
“Morning, Gerard,” you mumble back. 
“Morning.”
“M-”
Wait a minute. 
Your greeting falls short. You don’t recognize that voice. Stopping in your tracks, your shoes scratch on the rough carpet, and lift your head to see him. 
The first thing you notice is that he’s the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen. He looks like he jumped out of an underwear commercial; he’s all strong jawline, sharp eyes, round glasses on his pretty nose, neatly trimmed, short dark hair stretching down the planes of his face. He’s wearing a button up (usually you wouldn’t even register the clothing your coworkers adorned, but something about how he wore it was noteworthy), a tie draping over the dress shirt, and formal slacks hugging his thighs. 
He smiles at you sheepishly, hands nervously smoothing down his thighs. 
“I’m Wonwoo” he says curtly, nodding to you. “Just transferred from the Wallingset branch.” 
You nod. “Right. Wallingset,” you nod more. “Nice to meet you. I’m Y/n.” 
“Nice to meet you too, Y/n.” 
Something about your name on his lips makes your heart flutter. It’s pathetic, you know, but his peregrine being in his office chair, spilling your name from his pink lips makes you feel a little more real. You look at him and then you nod again-again, kicking your legs into gear again and walking the last stretch to your desk. 
You can see the back of his head from your orange-wood desk. Papers and sticky notes are scattered among the desktop. The monitor watches you accusingly, all big and square and black, waiting for you to open it up and begin working. Your eyes linger on him for a moment. Then you work. 
A few hours pass on emails and translating information from a company into a comprehensive sheet. However, today you’re having a hard time focusing on work. 
This is not new. 
Sometimes you briefly talk to a man at the grocery store, and your mind will wander to him for next week, wondering if he’s thinking about you too, imagining yourself cuddling with him, watching movies, imagining him telling you it’ll all be okay. Sometimes you briefly talk to a man on the street, sometimes it’s even a date, but whatever the case you obsess and you dream and you always end up alone. 
Today the victim of your depraved mind is Wonwoo. The guilt is easy to push away. You feel sorry for yourself. You think you deserve this. You think you can’t survive without this. And so you imagine him hugging you, stroking your hair, and you imagine him falling in love with you, and you imagine not being alone. Your fingers rest on your keyboard. It’s old and mechanical. You think it’s from a yard sale, probably an old woman whose children moved away. It’s plastic, and it curves inwards underneath the pads of your fingertips. The keys are cold and dead. 
You fully zone out, eyes blearing into the back of his head, but you don’t really see it, your mind has traveled elsewhere. You guiltily imagine his hand between your legs, on your chest, straddling him, kissing him. And it’s not rough, it’s loving, because in this world he loves you, and he’d do anything for you, and you don’t have to be alone again.
You don’t love Wonwoo. It’s not some magical love at first sight, it’s not a romance book, it’s real life. You’re lonely. You need this to survive. 
“Hey, Y/n?” 
You snap your head up. Maybe you were still daydreaming. But you recognized the voice well and true, and it was Wonwoo, leaned over your desk, hands in his pockets.
“Oh, uhm, hey-” your voice is shaky and you quickly rush to compose yourself, hands moving frantically and uselessly to glide papers over one another and, then, realizing that there was no point to your movements, stilling and looking up at him, cheeks flushed. “Hey.” 
Wonwoo smiles gently. “Uh, you know, I was wondering,” he looks around the office, as if surveying the area. “If you knew where to get a good lunch? I don’t know this area at all, so..” 
He trails off, looking at you expectantly for an answer. Now that he’s standing before you, it’s much harder to ignore the guilt you feel. You wanna gnaw at your nails until they’re nubs, you want to crawl under your desk and cover your eyes. Does he see how red your cheeks are? 
“Uhm- well- I don’t- I eat a packed lunch, so I’m-” 
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I’m, uh, no expert,” you giggle awkwardly and watch his gentle smile drop into pursed lips. “But! Uh- I hear the- the hot dog stand, uh, just a little down the street is good!” 
“Really? Maybe I should try it,” he contemplates, smile returning to his lips. “Would you mind showing me this mysterious hot dog stand?” 
“Uh-” 
Just seconds before you were thinking of his fingers in your pussy, and his hands caressing you, and him making you feel loved. He’s standing before you and he’s a totally normal guy, and you feel like shit. You feel like shit for using this fake image of him to comfort yourself. You can’t be around him, can’t convince yourself that maybe this’ll turn into something more - not when you always end up alone. Your brows furrow in determination.
“Actually, I have to, uh, get this done, so-” you gesture vaguely to your monitor. 
“Right! Yeah,” Wonwoo seems embarrassed, biting his lips and nodding. “It’s, uh, just down the street?” 
“Yeah, to the right when you walk out the building.” 
“For sure. Thanks,” he doesn’t even look at you then, just waves you off half-heartedly and starts trailing down the office. His shoulders are incredibly broad and his belt wraps tightly around his small waist.
You feel like shit.  _____________________________
Why is no one else cursed? 
You look out of the window, lying on your bed after work. Everything is very still and unmoving - your whole apartment feels like it’s knotted in strings, tightened until everything is snapped into place, and if you move the wrong muscles, the invisible hands will let go and everything will fly and hurdle through your home, and you can almost hear the sound, like the hard, empty sound of throwing a bowling ball and getting a strike. 
No one else is cursed. People crowd the streets with friends, family, partners, and they’re talking and laughing. You rest your head in the windowsill, a lone spectator in the window. The glass cuts you off from the streets. 
The afternoon after daydreaming the way you did about Wonwoo is always hard. Your apartment seems intent on suffocating you. Your daydreams serve as a reminder that you’re alone, that you truly have no one, and the act itself is so humiliating, you sulk into a glass of red wine and sometimes you cry. What do normal people do when they feel this bad, you wonder again, sobbing in your bed and spilling wine on your nightie. 
Nighttime falls early while you’re crying. You weep on and off, hug your knees, eat a microwave dinner and watch TV, light casting onto your pathetic form on the couch.
And in your most vulnerable state is when you most easily slip into your old habits. 
You press an old contact in your phone, one you’d tried to steer away from recently. You wipe mascara from your reddened cheeks, you wear pretty lingerie, and you lie, completely empty, void of any warmth, on your bed, awaiting.
It’s the first time he touches you in months. When his hand finds your shoulder, you shudder terribly. Sorry, he says, and he seems taken aback. Just ignore it, you plead, just ignore it. He does so, unsurely, and every time his hand grazes over your body you shudder and sob and every time he hesitates, asking if you’re okay, you cry at him to continue.
It feels good while it’s happening. Skin beneath your fingertips, hands on you, a face close to yours. You and him are the only thing moving in the apartment, synergizing on your bed, conjoining and writhing, and for just a moment, you don’t feel so alone. 
When you’re done the anonymous man stands back up, sliding on his pants in the late hour. He says it was great and you hum. But then he looks around, hesitating on every old piece of furniture, on every photo on the walls, and lastly on you.
“What?” you ask, lying naked in your bed. He grimaces at you, as if signaling that he can’t quite figure it out himself. 
“I don’t know,” he says slowly, hands on his newly-clothed hips and surveying the corners of the room, where shadows pool. “It feels haunted in here.” 
He leaves. 
When the warmth is gone, the bile rises in your throat. Old habits die hard, you think, and you feel totally empty. You couldn’t go on like this. It was nights like these you began to feel like a martyr - sacrificing yourself for a brief escape. Because when the door is closed with a click and you’re alone again, you feel yourself trembling and your heart is glowing red in the empty astral plane. Brief, easy forms of pleasure are often the most harmful.
It feels haunted in here. You remember his words, and before you finally fall asleep, you wonder one thing. You wonder if you’re already dead.  _____________________________
The next day is a pain to overcome. You’re slightly hungover, slightly sore, and very uncomfortable. But you comply with your routine, and you enjoy the bus ride, and when you get to the office everyone greets you. 
 “Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Tina.
“Morning, Tina,” you mumble back.
“Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Gerard. 
“Morning, Gerard,” you mumble back. 
“Morning, Y/n,” Wonwoo says. You look up from the carpet carefully, flashing him an apologetic smile. You hope he can read its intention: Sorry about being weird yesterday. You think he got it.
“Morning, Wonwoo.” 
And then you’re landing yourself at your own desk and beginning work once more. It’s boring, but today you ward off the daydreams and you focus, and you’re getting an exceptional amount done. 
The clock on the wall (off-white, but yellowing near the top) reads 12:28 when your boss, Stan, approaches your table. He’s half bald, and his suit is much too loose, and he has a ladder of wrinkles climbing his larger-than-life forehead. 
“Hey, N/n!” he calls, so loud that a couple of heads turn at the commotion. You’ve asked him several times not to call you that. 
“Stanley,” you breathe, tapping a stack of papers on your desk to neaten the pile. You wonder if you were in trouble, but if his smile is anything to go by, you’d guess not. 
“My favorite woman in accounting!” 
“Hehe,” you laugh half-heartedly. You catch the eye of Wonwoo, glancing over his shoulder with a small, teasing smile. You smile back. 
“I have a big- oh wait, wait, new guy, uhh, Jeon? Come over here real quick!” Suddenly his solid fingers waft the now scared Wonwoo over. The spectacled man’s shoulders hunch up as he moves off the chair, nodding respectfully. Wonwoo stands beside Stanley at your desk, and you focus your attention on Stanley, hoping to not get too lost in the idea of Wonwoo again - you were doing so good today. 
“I have a big job for you, and I thought you could work with Wonwoo on it,” Stan moves his hand up to cup the side of his mouth, as if telling you a big secret, “seeing as he was a bit of a star over in Wallingset.”
Shit. The guy you were daydreaming about was working with you? Wonwoo laughs, embarrassed, but you hardly have time to catch it. You can’t do this. Yesterday you were thinking about him fingering you while looking at you lovingly!
“We have a massive, new client! Just dropped a big competitor of ours, and they want us to do their six month report!” Stanley seems genuinely excited about this, so you can’t help feeling a little guilty that you’ll be a gobbering, slobbering mess, sitting beside Wonwoo on this. 
“That’s great-”
“I know! So, my two star members in accountancy, I’ll hand this off to you. The data should be coming into your emails soon,” without letting either of you react, Stanley hunches over, like a coach does before a little-league baseball game, wrapping his arms around both of you and Wonwoo. “You got this, troopers!” 
Stanley claps his hands on both of your backs, so hard you jerk forward at the movement, and then he bounces off to the elevator at the far end of the room. You sigh heavily from the interaction. It’s quiet for a moment, while you fiddle with the papers in front of you.
“What a guy,” Wonwoo muses finally, thin fingers resting on the edge of your desk. You giggle, unable to look him in the eye for fear that you might remember how you’d thought about starting a family with him. “Yeah.”
You and Wonwoo settle into an unoccupied meeting room, and it’s all very professional. Markers and post-its, trying to find the best way to structure the report, excel sheets to categorize and overlook data, double check numbers. 
However bad you think it’s going to be, you’re wrong. Wonwoo is easy to talk to - he’s quiet, but he’s intelligent, and he understands how to bring on conversation, even when you fold in on yourself like a used napkin. 
“Yeah, we used to steal signs from our neighborhood,” Wonwoo admits halfway into a conversation about your hometowns. “I don’t think that’s gonna fly anymore.” 
“Why stop now? You’re letting societal rules hold you back,” you joke, and the two of you laugh, and it’s so pathetic, you’re certain you haven’t laughed this much in years, and the conversation has lasted maybe 20 minutes. 
“Well, I could show you the craft, you know, it’s a delicate process-” 
While Wonwoo talks your phone buzzes and you absent-mindedly pick it up, reviewing the notification.
Your grin drops. Faintly, you hear Wonwoo stop talking. He tilts his head to study the way you frown at the screen. “What’s up?” he asks. 
It’s the guy from last night and he’s asking if you’ll be available again tonight. 
Maybe it’s how you could almost forget it - how you let yourself into positions that would hurt you, just to feel seen and heard and touched. Maybe it’s the dichotomy of that encounter and now, talking to Wonwoo, and having the laughter steal away the loneliness. But you’re reminded so terribly of your position. You’re reminded that this, too, will end, and that the loneliness will return. You’re reminded that once the shift ends, you’re alone again. 
Suddenly you’re a thousand daggers all pointing out. You shield yourself. 
“Uh,” you trail off, putting the phone down again. “Just some guy.” 
Wonwoo’s eyebrows raise. “Boyfriend?” 
“No!” you say quickly. “No, he’s, uh. Just some guy.” 
A pause. 
“Okay,” Wonwoo says. You don’t even remember where you left off the conversation. You bite your lip because everything is all agony. The table is cold and dead beneath your hand. 
“I’m thinking we group these together,” you say, eyes now tuned to your screen and fully submerged back into your work. Work. That was all that could cover your beaten down, cursed self. 
The rest of the shift you feel Wonwoo looking at you carefully, as if he’s trying to read you. You don’t talk about yourselves anymore, no more banter, no more witty comments. You structure the report, and try to ignore how his eyes laser you open. You don’t like it. You feel like he can tell you’re a pathetic, lonely woman and that you have nothing and no one. You feel like he can sense the curse upon you. 
This would be torture.  _____________________________
It is not torture. 
The next day, to your surprise, Wonwoo is nowhere to be seen. You wait 5, 10, then 15 minutes in the meeting room you’d camped in, before you begin working on your own. It’s slower without him, but you manage. 
You can’t help but slightly worry about him. It feels stupid. You know you’re putting too much emotion into a person you’d known for two days, but you can’t help it. You wonder if he’s gotten hurt or injured, or if maybe he hates you and has transferred back. You think even Excel finds you pathetic. 
You sit there for three hours, among the ruins of paperwork and your open laptop, running your hand through your hair and typing in sentences that mean nothing, and the wallpaper is off-white and yellowing at the top, and the blinds are closed to the meeting room. 
Around 1 PM the door to the meeting room is opened, wood smacking against the glass that surrounds it, and Wonwoo stands in the doorway, slightly out of breath. You snap your head up to him, like the jerk of a lifeless doll, suddenly interrupted from a very disorganized Excel sheet.
“Hi, shit, sorry,” he gasps, slinging his bag off of his shoulder to sit down next to you. 
“Are you okay?” you ask immediately, and Wonwoo nods blindly, pulling his laptop out of his bag. “Yeah,” he says, cheeks slightly flushed and licking his lips. “My cat- my cat needed surgery, she got sick last night, it was an emergency.” 
You nod in understanding, “it’s okay-” 
You can hardly get the words out before Wonwoo rolls his chair back, wheels resounding hollowly on the floor, so he can look at you clearly. “I’m really sorry about this, it was not nice of me to leave you alone with this.” He gestures vaguely to the scattered papers, and you shake your head.
“It’s okay, Wonwoo, I get it,” you say reassuringly, peering up at him through your lashes. “You don’t need to worry about it. You’re here now.” 
Wonwoo seems less intent on personal conversations today - it’s probably because he was so late, and now is trying to make up the time. But it’s okay, in fact you’re somewhat relieved, because it dampens the false hope that blooms in your chest, whenever he asks you about your life. 
Even if you and Wonwoo work hard and quietly, you slip into the late hours of the night in an attempt to keep on track for your schedule. Outside the windows that separate you from real life, the sky turns orange, and then dark, muted blue, and stars begin dotting its impressive stretches. People begin to leave around five, and by the time you and Wonwoo finish all your work, you’re the last ones left on your floor of the office. 
Wonwoo lets out a loud sigh when he finally finishes the second segment of your report, and the both of you slump back in your seats. 
“It’s so fucking late,” Wonwoo limply throws his hand in the direction of the window. You smile a little, looking out. Smaller buildings spawn geometrically from the ground, and every once in a while someone walks by with their dog, spotlighted by the stretch of street lamps that stand outside the parking lot. “I really am sorry about this, you know. Really ruined your night,” he says quietly. 
You shake your head. “It’s fine, I had nothing to come home to anyway.” 
There’s a pause.
Wonwoo looks at you intensely. Oh shit, you realize, was that too obvious? Was that too pathetic? Has it just clicked that you’re a loser that no one wants? You nervously look back at him, but there’s no malice in his eyes. A totally unreadable expression adorns his features, where he’s leaned back in his leather chair, legs spread invitingly. You look away, feeling dumb. 
“At least we followed our schedule!” you say. Wonwoo snorts.
“Yeah, thanks to you. If you hadn’t completed so much before I got here, it would’ve been hopeless.” 
Now it’s your turn to scoff, blushing lightly and looking at the linoleum flooring. “I don’t know about tha-” 
“Seriously, Y/n, just take the compliment,” Wonwoo reaches a hand over, and you watch its movement.
It’s like time slows down, not like the movies, no, like you can stop time with the heavy weight of your gaze, pinning his muscles in place. But you can’t, and it lands on your shoulder with a soft thud. Fuck. His hand is warm and alive on you. 
“You did so well today, I-” Wonwoo cuts himself off, because suddenly you’re trembling. 
He feels your body shuddering and jerking under his hand, like the wind rattles your door when you leave it open, and he can’t see your face behind a curtain of hair, but he hears you gasp, and, fuck, you look like you’re sobbing. 
The man from last night had become so hesitant when you reacted this way. When your body trembled and shook and when you cried, but Wonwoo seems to understand. He peers at you from above the rims of his glasses, and his hand stays put right there on your shoulder. 
“Y/n,” he whispers, so sincere it causes a pathetic squeak to escape you. What must he think of you? The thoughts spiral and you can’t control a single one of them, they dance like freed souls in your head, and you can’t stop the spasming of your muscles, and you know you look so pathetic beside him right. “Y/n, look at me.” 
You don’t. You can’t. You can’t because there are tears spilling from the rims of your eyes, and rolling down your cheeks, wet and glossy. Besides, you’re an ugly crier. 
“Look at me,” he says seriously, finger tightening on your shoulder. You try to steady your breath and calm your tears, before you obey and begin to turn your chair. The simple motion requires so much effort - it’s like the air has become so thick, that the friction against your leather seat slows you down. 
Finally you turn to him, eyes first resting on his knees, then, carefully, traveling up to his face. He’s frowning. 
Your face is reddened and your eyes are puffy, your cheeks are shiny and you chew your bottom lip in a futile attempt to keep the tears at bay. 
Wonwoo looks genuinely devastated. The hand on your shoulder softens its grasp, then begins petting your arm, rubbing up and down. The action has you choking out gasps, trembling even more in his hold, and Wonwoo feels the need to roll his chair closer to you, so his other hand can grab yours. His thumb rubs over the back of it, and he lowers his head to look at you. 
“Shh, relax, relax, Y/n,” he whispers, and you try to nod, but it’s so overwhelming; being touched, being seen, being heard, all at once. For months, maybe years, no one has touched you like this - as if they care. Now the feeling is foreign, so scorching hot on your arm and your hand, your body can’t take it anymore. You’re stuck between wanting to lean into his hands, wanting to feel how real you are, and how physically true your existence is, and wanting to shy away. What must he think of you? 
“Y/n,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut to banish the sigh of your sobbing. “When was the last time someone touched you?” 
You hiccup painfully. “Uhm- I- I don’t, ” your eyes are bleary and your lashes are wet. Your lip trembles and your whole body shakes when you try to breathe. 
Apparently this was enough of an answer for Wonwoo, because he suddenly stands, somewhat harshly tugging you into a standing position too, and pulls you directly into the harbor of his arms. 
Instinctively, you wrap your arms around his torso. His chest is pressed flat against yours, so, so warm, when he nudges your head into the crook of his neck, and presses his face against its side, sighing softly into you, and breathing warm air onto your hair. His palms push you into him, soothing your trembling body, and holding you like an anker. One hand travels up to your hair. 
“W-Wonwoo, you don’t have to-”
“Shh,” he quiets you immediately, voice the softest wind of a peach tree. “Just let me take care of you.” 
You do. Wonwoo holds you until you stop crying, and though it must’ve been twenty minutes or so, it feels like no time at all. Standing in his space, breathing in his dark cologne, and letting his heat thaw your dead heart is a totally timeless act. Joy and serenity flows from the places where your bodies touch. When you stop crying, Wonwoo holds you for longer. 
Eventually, he lets you go. 
You step back sheepishly, now much calmer and the red in your face faded. You wipe your tired eyes shyly with your sleeve. 
“Thank you, Wonwoo,” you mumble, voice thick and garbled. When you look up at him, he smiles softly, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 
“Don’t worry about it,” he says softly, arm extending one last time to squeeze your forearm. Then it falls limp again. 
“I, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” 
“Of course.” 
When you return home, you’re buzzing. Your entire apartment buzzes along with you, things seem to clatter and beam along with the bright, glowing of your heart. You snuggle into bed and nothing is still and even when you’re drifting into sleep, your nerve endings spin in joyful circles, and your feet are a static hum. Suddenly you are very, very real. _____________________________
You’d think the next day would be tense and awkward, and maybe it is at first, but soon enough you’re talking again, more intimately than before even. 
This is Wonwoo’s doing - you know this. You know he’s smart and you know he doesn’t want you to feel bad, so he makes conversation and builds trust between the two of you. You know he hopes you don’t feel insecure. Every word he says and every flick of his eyes is riddled with it. 
The conversation decidedly slows down your progress, so Wonwoo once more suggests staying overtime. You look at him for a moment before agreeing. 
You can’t tell what his end goal is. A chamber of your heart has been revived and rebirthed, and you’re more chipper, more bouncy, but the rest of your heart insists: you’re still cursed - eventually it’ll go back to how it should be. You listen. You try not to get your hopes up that Wonwoo really cares about you. Why should he, really?
Although when you’re done for the day, about an hour after your usual 5 PM, you stand up and begin to pack your things, laptop sliding into your bag and clustering pens in your hand. It’s gray outside, but the sun comes in a single strand through a gap in the smog and the clouds. The wind hoots by the windows, and it smells like the indian you ordered for lunch together. 
You stop your packing, feeling a set of eyes in your back. You twist your head to see him.
Wonwoo is sitting completely still in his chair, slack-covered legs spread open, and he makes no move to collect his own things. He just stares. 
“What’s up?” you quip. You’re slightly nervous. Just before it was all silly childhood stories, college and weed and life before the dead-end job. Now Wonwoo has that unreadable expression on his face again. 
He slowly lifts his hands from the armrest, eyes locked with yours, and claps his palms on the tops of his thighs. 
Your eyebrows furrow. 
“Wha-” 
“Come here,” he says simply. When you stand completely still, like a deer in the headlights, Wonwoo scoffs and rolls his eyes. “What? You think you’re cured because someone hugged you once?” 
“Cured?”
“You’re touch-starved, Y/n,” Wonwoo states matter-of-factly, “you need to be touched.” 
“Touch-starved?” you echo, a bewildered expression on your face.
“We can also just hug, like yesterday,” he suggests calmly. You envy his collectedness. “I just don’t want you to feel bad. So please. Come sit.”
To emphasize, Wonwoo pats his thighs again, patiently. You step away from your bag with hesitating steps, pursing your lips. Your cheeks blaze when you look at his thighs again - they’re so long, and the folds in his slacks stretch down and centralize on his crotch and- You’re being a pervert. 
“Okay,” you squeak and Wonwoo tuts. Why is that hot, you think, why the hell is that hot?
“We can just hug if you-” 
You feel bold.
Without letting him finish, you swing your leg over his, and plop down, straddling halfway down his thighs. You thank God you put pants on this morning instead of a skirt, when you look down at where you rest on top of him. 
Wonwoo is a little taken aback, but when you’ve settled on him, his hands find your waist and he looks up at you with a hum. Your breathing is a little shaky. Once again his hands provide a pumping of golden joy into your body, and more of you comes alive and becomes real, and you smile. 
What had Wonwoo been talking about? Touch-starved?
“What’s, um-” your question is cut off with a gasp, when Wonwoo uses his hands on your middle to tug you closer. You rest on the highest point of thighs that you can without sitting on his dick. Cheeks red and eyes squeezed shut, you hear how Wonwoo hums, pleased. “What were you talking about? Touch-starved?” you whisper, keeping your eyes shut. 
Wonwoo sighs, and once more, like the movement is entirely replayed, his hand finds your hair and pushes your face into the crook of his neck. You sigh against it, enjoying how his arms protect you and hide you from the evil of the world. 
“If you don’t touch anyone,” Wonwoo begins, his voice low bass in your ear, “you become touch-starved. That’s why you reacted the way you did yesterday.” 
His hands run up and down your sides. 
“But- but I’m not crying today,” you say quietly into his neck. Wonwoo hums.
“No, that’s good,” he says. “We can stop if you really want, I just wa-”
“No!” your voice squeaks immediately, and, as if he were running from you, you fist his shirt to keep him close. 
“Okay,” there’s a smile in Wonwoo’s voice. You can’t see it but you can imagine it. 
Comfortable silence. Wonwoo traces patterns on your back and you breathe deeply against the skin of his neck. The two of you function as one living thing, the only living thing left in the office. Chairs are turned halfway, a couple lights are left on. The desks betray the past presence of humans. 
“Wonwoo,” you pip. 
“Mhm?” 
“You don’t have to do this, you know? I don’t want you to do it if you- if it’s just.. Pity.” 
Wonwoo sighs, and you feel the way his torso deflates underneath you. He trails his hand up from your back to tap your cheek. You move back and look at him. 
Your faces are very close, you can feel how your exhales collide and then scatter, hell, you think you could count each of his eyelashes from here. 
“I already told you. I’m doing this because I don’t want you to feel bad. I-” he hesitates for a moment, pursing his lips. “I’ve been there. So I know what it’s like.” 
The thought of Wonwoo feeling like this, like you, is sickening. Genuinely sickening, you feel your insides turn to rot and mold and you frown so deeply, you think your lips might forever lock in that position. 
“I’m okay now,” he reassures, reading you immediately. His hand finds your cheek and he almost cries out at the way you lean into it blindly. 
“How did you-.. I- I always thought it was, like, a lifelong curse,” you say.
“A curse?” Wonwoo grins, thumb stroking over the skin of your cheek. It makes you happy, it makes you feel like your heart will burst. 
“Yeah. I guess I just blamed some old woman from my hometown,” you giggle, blushing a little because, yes, it did sound stupid when you weren’t just echoing the theory to yourself, like playing a team sport alone. 
“You’re not cursed,” Wonwoo promises, tucking your head into his chest. “I’ll help you, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you from now on.” 
He does take care of you. 
Every day you work overtime, and every day when you’re done with work, Wonwoo slides you into his lap and holds you, while you curl up in his chest. Then you talk and you laugh, and you listen to each other's music. His hands run warm up your back and in your hair and on your hips, gentle caresses, deeply intimate. For two weeks you and Wonwoo indulge in this nighttime ritual. 
You have not felt lonely since that night. And Wonwoo can tell. Your skin is warmer and brighter, you smile wider, your eyes twinkle, and there’s energy in every movement. Your body thaws under his warm hands every night, and sometimes when you smile, he gets so happy he could kiss you. 
You realize you like Wonwoo one particular night when you’re falling asleep in your bed and you can still feel the ghost of his arms around you and it lulls you into a deep, dreamless sleep, and when you wake up you smell a little bit like his cologne. That’s how you realize. You like how considerate and how gentle he is, you like how sweet he is to you, you like how he looks when he smiles and when he laughs and you like how much he loves his cat. You like how his arms feel wrapped around you. 
And you like him, and suddenly your apartment is a song that you dance in, and every photo on your walls is smiling and your bed is always warm and so is your heart. 
There’s nothing dead in here, you think, when you cook a delicious meal on the stovetop, sauce bubbling in a stainless steel pan. Nothing haunted about your home or your heart. _____________________________
“We’re almost done.” 
“Mhm.” 
“I can’t believe we’re almost done!” 
Wonwoo looks up, bemused, lips made small and pointed. You’re staring at the almost-done document, scrolling up and down through long and arduous paragraphs. It’s nighttime again - not that you had to stay late today, it was a choice - and the city glimmers brilliantly in the coolness. You and Wonwoo wear sweaters to keep warm. 
“Feels like a lifetime,” Wonwoo murmurs, same smile upon his beautiful face. His cheekbones point out from beneath his skin. 
“Yeah,” you breathe, leaning back. You won’t put your fingers back on the keyboard. Not when it could be done so soon. You look at him, all snuggled up in a brown sweater. “What if..” 
A pause. He tilts his head.
“Well, are we still gonna talk?” you chew your lip dejectedly, feeling a little sad and desperate, but Wonwoo only laughs. It’s a beautiful sound, it’s one you associate with joy. 
“Of course,” he says, as his laughter quiets down. “If you want to.” 
A shy smile forms on your lips. You turn to look back at the computer, but you hear the now-familiar sound of Wonwoo patting his thighs. You flit your eyes back to him, teasingly scolding.
“We’re not done.” 
“We don’t have to be done now,” he shrugs, an equally teasing smile on his lips. You roll your eyes, but, unsurprisingly, you shift over to him, sitting down in his lap. He immediately tugs you closer, fingers searching for stimulation on the seams of your jeans. There’s something different about Wonwoo today, you realize, his touch is more feverish, his fingers dig deeper into the fat of your hips and he looks up at you like you’re a diamond-encrusted chandelier, hanging from the ceiling, all glittering jewels. 
“What’s up?” you giggle nervously. It’s becoming hard to breathe with the way he paws at your hips. 
There’s something in the air between you, but maybe you’re imagining it. Maybe it’s your mind playing tricks on you, concocting the magnetic pull that lingers between you, the thicker, heavier air, that urges you closer. 
He sighs heavily, as if he was dreading this. All of a sudden composed, cool, icy Wonwoo is chewing his lip and avoiding your eyes, looking instead down where your fat gives way for his needy fingers. 
“I, uh, I really like you, Y/n,” his voice shakes. “Would you. Maybe. Want to go out some time?” 
At the last syllable his gaze locks on to yours, and you watch him visibly relax, because you’re fucking grinning. 
Not maliciously, not crudely, not a dime or a dab of evil, only genuine joy. 
“I-I would like that,” you control your smile, pointing your lips in the same way that Wonwoo does and blushing all over. Wonwoo grins too and it’s unbearably boyish. 
“Okay,” he says, as if he can’t believe it. “Okay. Great.” 
The window slams shut, the spell is undone by his hand, the dead defy their only law to bow to his necromancy. Wonwoo is alive and warm underneath you, and you are alive and warm on top of him, thighs pushed up against his and tugging at the fabric of his shirt. Your balloon of heart pops in your chest, and the bone-cage of your chest is filled with helium, that has you floating. Rosy and shiny, your heart beats at twice its normal speed.
There’s a lull in the conversation. It would’ve been a more comfortable silence, if you couldn’t see by how Wonwoo looks down and purses his lips, that he’s itching to say more. 
Sparked by his confession, you confidently snake your hand up to tap his cheek lazily. He turns to you with a loafy smile. “What is it?” 
He breathes out unsteadily.
“You’re-” he closes his eyes. “There’s so much I like about you. It- It makes me feel really bad that you weren’t feeling well, so I-” 
He cringes at himself, one hand pushing away his glasses to rub the eyes underneath them. 
“Can I make you feel better?” he asks vaguely. 
You huff out a laugh. “Are you trying to ask if I want to have sex?” 
He laughs too, behind his big hand. “No. It’s not the same, I want it to be about you!” 
You laugh more, and Wonwoo’s face reappears as he lowers his hand. He looks up at you adoringly, dotingly. He’s smiling.
“I’m being serious,” he says quietly, when you finish. He seems less embarrassed now, more so smug. “I want to make you feel good.” 
He’s paying an awful lot of attention to your hips, which he has not let up massaging and squeezing roughly. 
“Can I..?” he begins, eyes fixed on your hips in his lap. “Can I make you cum?” 
Then, slowly, Wonwoo lifts his hands and gently places them around on your face. His touch is always as soft as a hope-laced wind. He’s warm and he’s alive and he’s holding onto you, and you see it in his eyes: you’re real, you’re right underneath my fingertips. 
“Please.”
That’s all he needs, before he presses his lips against yours.
The kiss is everything you want it to be; because it’s loving. It’s slow, it’s deep, it’s gentle, there’s no tongue, just the soft, warm, real, alive flows of his lips against your own. His hands on both of your cheeks caress your cheekbones gently, and warm air is spilled in the small space between you. He pulls away, panting. 
“I don’t understand it,” he mumbles, before he’s pressing his lips back to yours hungrily. You let out a confused hum, and you have to gently push at his shoulder to back him off again. “What do you mean?” you ask.
“Why you were so alone,” he breathes, transfixed on your lips. “I want to be with you all the time.” 
Before you can respond, Wonwoo grips the underside of your thighs, lifting you and himself from the chair and placing you on the desk. You gasp at the impact when the glass table meets your bottom, and Wonwoo is standing over you, suddenly so tall and so broad, and slimming at the waist. His narrow eyes become hooded behind the reflection of his glasses. His head is tilted down to meet yours.
“Can I take off your clothes, pretty?” 
You don’t answer, only grip the edge of your shirt, tugging it over your head, so your bra-clad chest is exposed to him. He groans at the sight. 
“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles, nimble fingers dancing across your back to unclip the bra, sucking in a harsh breath the fabric becomes loose, sliding down your arms. “Such a pretty girl.” 
“Stop,” you whisper, face warm and red. Your heart has never beat this way. It’s utterly unbearable and addicting at the same time, it’s without rhythm or class, it’s wild. And it’s because he’s looking at you and it’s not just lust. It’s adoration. There are deeper strings to the make-up of his eyes, there are lines connected to his heart, and he’s all flushed.
“What?” he asks. “I’m just telling you the truth.” 
Wonwoo throws your bra on the floor next to him, hands finding the hem of your pants. “Can I take your pants off?” 
You nod, still so shy and abashed, because Wonwoo’s eyes feel like a pink spotlight, and you are bathed in its warmth. He unbuttons your pants and you gently slide off the table to work them off your legs. 
“Your panties are cute,” Wonwoo remarks (it should feel lewd, but he has a hand on your hip, that brushes the bone and he smiles at it). “Thank you,” you breathe, before you’re taking them off too.
Wonwoo doesn’t need to, but he still insists on gently lifting you back onto the table, and he kisses your nose when you’re sitting before him. He’s standing in between your legs, and then he’s looking down at where wetness drips onto the glass table. 
His hand slides down your stomach, resting on the fat of it. He’s smiling, he’s so gorgeous, because he’s smiling the most gentle smile at how wet you are and how it leaks onto the table and his hand is so warm on your stomach, doing nothing, yet turning you on even more than you’d ever been before.
He sighs like he’s carrying the greatest burden on his broad back. “You’re so pretty,” he says, almost exasperated by it. He pinches some of the fat of your stomach between his fingers lovingly. “I can’t believe I get to have you like this.” 
Then the hand on your stomach slides down further. His large, veiny hand cups your pussy, the tips of his fingers just barely teasing your hole. You whimper against him, hands finding his biceps for support. Wonwoo studies you, craning his neck down to peer at your face, while his fingers begin swaddling your folds. 
“You’re so wet, baby,” he mumbles, trying to catch your eye where you bury into his chest. One finger dips into your hole, penetrating slowly and settling knuckle-deep. 
“Wonnie!” you cry out, squeezing your eyes shut. 
“Mmm, clenching down on Wonnie’s finger so hard. My beautiful girl.” 
He begins pushing his finger in and out of you, pace slow and torturous. His other hand slides up and down your body, squeezing your waist then your thigh, then coming right back up to fondle your chest. He pushes your back flat against the glass, so you’re all splayed out for him and you watch him from there, eyes hooded and legs spread to accommodate him. He breathes in shakily at the sight of you. 
“Shit, Y/n. What were you doing hiding all this from me?” His finger picks up the pace, as another finger slips in alongside it. You’re moaning and panting, lips red and hair mussed, unable to focus on his words, when his fingers curl against that spongy spot inside you. Apparently Wonwoo expects an answer though, because he speaks again, voice lower and rougher. “Hm? You didn’t want to go have lunch? What, was it that guy?”
“W-What?” 
“Just some guy,” Wonwoo echoes your past words, emphasizing with a harsh thrust of his fingers. 
“N-No, I- Hng!” you cry out, when Wonwoo’s thumb presses onto your clit. He rubs it torturously. “I-I was embarrassed because I- I was thinking about you!” 
“Oh?” this catches Wonwoo’s attention, as he diligently works his hand within you, staring down at your naked form, fully clothed and tall. “Tell me what you were thinking about, baby.” 
“This!” you cry out, too high off the pleasure to really feel embarrassed about it.
“Pretty, sweet, dumb baby. You were thinking about you whimpering and writhing while I fuck you with my hand, hm?”
“N-No,” you mumble, cheeks aflame. “W-Was thinking about you l-liking me.” 
At this Wonwoo hastily leans over you, pressing his lips onto yours again, and this time his tongue pries open your mouth, wet and warm in the cavern of your mouth. You moan into the kiss, hips canting into his hand. There’s something so desperate about him then, something so eager in the way he crooks his fingers, and how he kisses you, panting and covering your face in warm air. You feel a tight knot in your stomach.
“Cum on my fingers, please, pretty, sweet, baby, darling,” he mumbles into your mouth, rushing out the words before he’s sealing your lips again. 
“God, I think I might fall in love with you.” 
That makes you cum. You cum so fucking hard, clenching around his fingers like an air-tight seal, and your cum spills onto his fingers and his name spills into his mouth. The curse comes out with it, escaping like the air that spills out from an ancient, rediscovered chamber, and dissipating into the night. Your heart is beating and you’re breathing into his mouth, nose brushing his. 
“Good girl,” he breathes, finally releasing your lips and letting his lips fall heavy and wet on your cheek. 
He pulls out his fingers, unbearably wet and slick, and you think for a second that he’ll let you calm down and then maybe he’ll put his dick in you, but as soon as the fingers are out of you, they’re settling back on to your clit, rubbing heavy-handed circles.
You whine, arching your back off the table and wiggling your hips at the overstimulation. His other hand catches your hip and he shushes your cries softly. 
“You can cum again, can’t you, baby? You can take it,” he says, so nonchalantly, while his slick fingers rub you. You cry out. Your legs are shaking. “Think you can cum again from just this?”
“Y-Yes,” you sigh and when you look down, his entire hand covers your pussy, as he pets your clit in circles. He smiles at your words, pinching your clit teasingly. It causes a squeak to escape you, hips struggling against his hold, where he pins you to the table.
“Good girl,” he praises, purring. “Letting me use your pretty pussy like this, letting me make you feel good.” 
His body in front of you prevents your legs from closing, but, God, do they try, knees pinching his thin waist, and hair bunching up on the glass when your face scrunches up in pleasure. 
“A-a-ah!” you cry out. Your hips involuntarily begin to inch away from him, but Wonwoo pulls you back with one strong hand, tutting. 
“Don’t do that,” he mutters, pouting. “You need to be touched, remember?” 
The whole thing is so heart-achingly intimate. The way he stands, still fully clothed and with a huge fucking tent in his pants, simply rubbing your pussy and looking at you with heart-eyes. Seriously, eyes swimming with adoration for you, teasing words slipping from his mouth unable to mask the genuine wonder he feels, at how you gasp and you arch and you clean and you jerk from the simplest of his movements. And your pussy is so warm and wet under his hand, and his body between your legs is so warm, and you cum again from just that; from how much love he looks at you with, and from the fingers crooking to pinch your clit again, wet and swollen underneath his glistening fingertips. 
“W-Wonwoo!” you cry out, cumming again, and your body convulses around his, when it oozes out of your hole. Wonwoo’s fingers gently work you through it. His gaze on you is so intent, so careful and insistent, you can’t bear it, the way he sees you totally lost in the pleasure he brings you. 
“There you go,” he whispers gently, fingers letting up and disappearing from your pulsating pussy. 
“Wonwoo,” you mewl tiredly, pushing yourself onto your elbows to look up at him. He looks at you, so sweetly, so attentively, hands immediately finding your back to stabilize you. “Can I please have your cock now?” 
“We don’t have to-” 
“I want to!” you interrupt him, brows furrowed and lips in a pout. Wonwoo grins at that and though he may deny it, you don’t miss the red that twinges his cheeks. 
“It’s just if you were too tired..-” 
“I’m not,” you say decidedly, and Wonwoo nods. 
“Okay. C’mere then.” 
You’re confused when Wonwoo sits back down in the office chair, fingers working his slacks open. He doesn’t answer to your grimace though, only manages his pants unzipped and in one lift of his hips, peel both them and his boxers down. 
His cock springs free, and your confused grimace is replaced with one of awe. It’s pale and veiny, the head is red and thin, white liquid oozes from it, like melted candle wax. And it’s huge.
You’re too slow to mask your amazement, it seems, because when your eyes return to his face, he’s already looking at you, smiling smugly. 
“Come ride me, baby.” 
You don’t need to be told twice. You slide off the table eagerly, lumbering over to where he’s relaxed against the back of the chair. He looks up at you, all naked and pretty, with a grin. 
The top buttons of his dress shirt are unbuttoned, but he must’ve given up halfway. Either way, the milky plates of his chest are exposed, shining gloriously in the warm office light, and he discards his glasses, face fully exposed to you. He’s beautiful, and you think to tell him.
“You’re beautiful,” you whisper, planting each leg around his, so you’re straddling him. Like your ritual, Wonwoo grips your middle and pulls you closer, but this time it’s even closer than normal. Your stomach meets his dick, all heavy and hot on your skin, and your breath hitches at the sensation. 
“You’re beautiful,” he teases, looking up at you. You smile. 
“Can I put it in?” you ask. 
“As if the answer was ever gonna be no?” 
You snort out a laugh, raising yourself by your thighs and gripping the base of his dick to steer him inside. He hisses at the feeling of your hand grappling with his impressive size, and he hisses once more when the head of his cock buries into your heat. 
His hands on your waist anchor himself while you slowly sink down, until he’s so fully sheathed in you, you think the tip of his cock must be brushing your heart, because it feels like it’s swinging in your chest. 
“You’re so big,” you whimper, clutching his broad shoulders, and scrunching the fabric on top of them. 
“Don’t say shit like that, I’m gonna cum, babe,” he grits out, fingers bruising your waist. You mewl, clutching his shirt. Then you begin to bounce. 
Your thighs flex on either side of him as you heave up and down his cock, the both of you gasping into each other, and clutching each other for stability. 
“Shit,” he pants out, genuinely out of breath. “Fuck, you’re the loveliest girl in the world.”
You cry out, pressure already welling in your stomach and burying yourself in his neck like you’ve always done, and it’s so intimate and he’s warm, and, fuck, he wants you. You can feel it in his grip, in his cock, in his words; he wants you more than anything. The thought makes you wanna cum. 
Wonwoo is not quiet at all. He grunts and whines and his words are strangled and garbled, but frequent, showering you in affection and praise, while you bounce eagerly on his huge cock. 
“You’re so pretty, baby.” 
“Your tits are so perfect, shit.”
“Pretty girl.” 
“Loveliest, prettiest, sweetest girl, bouncing on my cock, fuck.”
Praises spill from his lips in purrs, one after another, and when you cum you can’t help but return it tenfold. 
“Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonnie, fuck! Gonna- fucking cum, I think I’m- f-falling in love with you”
You and Wonwoo come alive. Cum spurts from his cock and into your pussy, and you both cry out, entangled and completing one another in the space where you meet. 
And it’s true, falling in love with him is so easy. And falling in love with you is easy too, you realize, because the second he’s spilled his cum in you, he pulls you from his neck to kiss you so deeply, so thoroughly, you think your lips might never unpuff from his hasty, bitten kisses. 
His cock, now soft, still inside you, his warm chest against yours, his nose nudging yours, his eyelashes fluttering against your skin, the kiss is totally perfect, and you’re warm, and the windows are all closed and fogged up and there’s no curse other than the most fatal and most perfectly tantalizing of them all: love. 
You are not alone. You’re sitting in his lap and you think if you give it a day or two more, you might want to spend the rest of your life with him. 
You catch your breaths. 
“You’re really good at that,” you say finally. He grins again, perfectly undone, hair tousled and cheeks flushed. “Yeah?” he asks. You hum. 
After some minutes of keeping him inside you, kissing lazily, running your hands over his pretty chest and arms, you pull back, beginning to flex your legs to pull him out of you. 
“What are you doing?” he asks, hands wafting to still your movements. You furrow your brows, confused. 
“Am getting your dick out of me?” 
His hands sink down on your hips heavily, fully encompassing his dick again. You sigh at the feeling. 
“Don’t do that, silly. You’re touch-starved, remember?” 
He tilts his head teasingly. 
“So why don’t you just sit snug on my cock, so you can get all the closeness you need?”
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what i would do if i was a gilmore girls writer:
april storyline:
i feel like instead of the april storyline liz could have given birth a bit earlier and and luke and lorelai would have to step in to help raise doula a lot. first of all we’d get to see them with a baby, which is cute. but there’s also a lot of room for conflict in deciding how to handle the situation. aka conflict that makes for good TV (”should we even have kids together if we can’t even do this?”, ”we have to make these decisions together, we’re getting married!” etc.) but isn’t life altering enough to ruin the couple. it also draws parallells to the jess storyline (which was a huge part of the earlier seasons), luke’s established family issues and his earlier disagreements with lorelai which makes luke’s character arc and the show as a whole more cohesive and satisfying. i could see this drama lasting for all of season 6. in the end because these characters have grown, they would actually figure it out somehow. and then they’d have season 7 to settle down and be happy. i actually do love april but they could have made her a young sheldon type of guest character at yale and paris could have developed a soft spot for her or something.
literati in season 3:
so i feel like they wanted to show us that this is rory’s bad boy phase. they made their relationship about dean a lot and most of the episodes centered around them were like ooooh jess did this sucky thing and dean never would have. and i get that maybe they needed to try something new and didn’t want to just recreate the boyfriend storyline with a new guy (aka see how he fits into her grandparents world, saying i love you for the first time etc). they already did the good stuff with dean so they decided to make this rory’s bad decision and only came up conflict to show us. but they didn’t even fully commit bc rory didn’t change with jess the way she did with logan. that was her bad boy phase, literati was always supposed to be something more. so instead of showing how bad of a couple this was compared to dean/rory, they could have drawn different parallels. because dean/rory was not a perfect relationship and they could have shown how in some ways why this is better for rory. what does she want? not her grandparents and not her mom. after all the buildup literati was the audience’s favorite and most anticipated couple, so i really think painting it as an unexpected but positive change of direction in rory’s journey would have been worthwhile.
like show us how when they go on dates they want to do the same things (as opposed to donna reed or rory just watching dean’s games). show us how they both want their alone time and them not calling each other every day because rory wants to study and jess has to work can be an OK thing (as opposed to the infamous 14 calls a day). show us how jess maybe doesn’t fit into lorelai and rory’s flow as well as dean did BUT how that’s also ok because rory is getting older and going off to college so this makes sense. but then also show us some god damn character development and lorelai and jess actually learning to get along (pls make that an entire episode’s storyline actually. have them be funny together and make it emotional). and show us nice scenes with luke, lorelai, rory and jess. where was all of this when they were dating??? nowhere to be seen. although i would have liked for luke not to kick jess out (i will make another post of how i would handle jess and luke’s relationship in season 3) i know it had to happen because milo had to leave. and i wouldn’t change major plot points like that because i like jess’ arc too much. but if they had shown everything i wrote here, literati’s realtionship would have canonically been stronger and jess would have at least told rory about not graduating and his dad showing up and why he felt like he had to go before he went.
dean cheating on lindsay with rory:
actually i would have had lindsay push him in the lake luke pushed jess in but oops plot twist, dean can’t swim
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gavi4me · 6 months
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Hiii! Can you make a smut where y/n is studying for a while and Pablo comes home and gets upset that she’s over working herself leading into a smut? Thank youuu 😘😘
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Study session
I know very little to nothing about law so don’t come after the questions or answers in the book. They are copy n pasted!
Okay so AHHH. ofc!! I love this idea bc I’ve had a study smut in my drafts for a minute and was thinking about posting it.
Warnings - unprotected sex, slight age gap (19 - 21), cursing, blowjob!, (lmk if there are more)
I was listening to promiscuous the entire time of writing this fic haha
“Baby, I’m home!” Pablo yelled as he slammed the door shut. You didn’t respond though, too focused on your notes and studying to answer. “Baby? Where are you.” That was a stupid question on Pablo’s end, of course it was in your office. “There you are, why aren’t you answering me cariño?”. “Sorry I didn’t hear you.” You lied, not taking your eyes off your notes, “Bullshit. I yelled that I was here.” You didn’t respond. Only a little “hmm” making Pablo aware of you not listening. “What are you doing?” He asked coming over. Another stupid question. “Studying…” you said, analyzing your textbook. You were majoring in law. Becoming a lawyer was your biggest dream. And it was slowly becoming true, gaining an internship at a huge law firm for a whole summer. “You were studying when I left Bebé. That was almost 8 hours ago.”. “Hmmmm” you mumbled while writing down something. “You know how important this exam is for my grade. I need to do perfect.”. “And you can still achieve perfect if you take breaks.”. Pablo reached his arms around you to close your notebook, picking it up as well before putting it on a high shelf where he knew you couldn’t reach. “Pabloooo” you whined tugging on his shirt, wanting to continue to study.
He came over behind you, finger tips massaging your shoulders while kissing your temples. “It’s time you take a break bebé.”. “Pleaseeee. I promise I took a break. I went to the bathroom once.” You argued back, just wanting to get your textbook back. “Once in an 8 hour span. Besides, I’m sure you’d enjoy to something else much more than studying.” He said as he turned your chair around to face him before kissing your lips, then jaw, and neck. You couldn’t contain yourself from moaning when he found your sweet spot, not wanting him to stop though you knew it was wrong. “Ugh Pablo. Your so good at bribing me with your kisses.” You pushed him off before standing up to leave. He grabbed your waist, pulling you back to him. “Come back. How about we do a game involving studying, but I’ll play too.”
You looked at him with a weird face. What game?
He went over to your drawers, searching through the giant mess you had created, finally finding what he needed.
Flash cards.
“Flash cards?” You asked. “But you don’t know anything about the test. How will you play?”. “Sit on the bed.” You did as you were told and sat at the edge of the bed, waiting for Pablo to come over. “Here’s the game. For every question you get right, I take off an article of clothing. For every question you get wrong, you take off an article of clothing. Same rules for me. Just studying. Nothing else. You want to play?” You starred at him for second, deciding if this was just him wanting to have sex or to actually help. “Fine. But we actually need to study. Act as if this was a regular study session and nothing more.”. “Fine by me. Jewelry doesn’t count” he said putting his hand out for you to shake. You shook it as he picked out the first card.
“First card is criminal law for defense. What is defence of property regulated by?”. “criminal damage act 1971 is a ‘belief that property was in an immediate need of being protected”. “Good.” He started off strong, taking his shirt off making you choke on the glass of water gavi had gave you before he left.
“Your turn”
“Hmm okay I’ll go easy. What does ‘actus reus’ mean in latin?”. “I’ve known you long enough to know that ‘actus reus’ means guilty act”. “Wow well done” You looked down at your feet realizing you didn’t have any socks on. There goes that plan. You pulled your shirt off, revealing a tiny, lace bra you knew Pablo loved. “Wow” Pablo said starring at your chest, licking his lips. “Hard to keep my promise.”. This continued until all you were left in were your shorts and bra and Pablo in boxers. “Okay if you get this problem right, you win.” Pablo announced picking up one last flash card, expecting to lose. “what type of test is the one outlined in the criminal justice and immigration act 2008 for reasonable force and what were they?”. “subjective. s76(3) force was ‘reasonable in the circumstances as the defendant believed them to be’. s76(7) ‘a person acting for legitimate purpose may not be able to weigh to a nicety the exact measure of any necessary action.” This game was making you so needy for Pablo’s love and affection and anything from the boy though that was against the promise you two had made.“Yeah whatever you said” he said before gripping at the waistband of his boxers. As he was about to pull them down, you reached your hand out holding his hand in place.
“Do not want me to?” He asked trying pulling them back up higher, searching for his shirt. “No no..I do, but I want to do it for you.” You said looking deep into his eyes. His hand let go of his boxers, giving you full access. You took that as a sign a pulled them down, revealing his already hard cock, bouncing off his abdomen to meet your gaze. “Okay Ms ‘I only want to stud-" before he could finish his sentence, you already started rubbing your thumb against his slit, earning a groan and a lip bite or 2. After a second, you climbed off the bed to go on your knees in front of Pablo before finally put your lips against his tip and started to circle your tongue around it, keeping eye contact with Pablo. “Fuck” he groaned while tilting his head back, keeping a tight grip on the back of your head, though not giving any roughness, letting you take control. “Tastes s-so good.” You said in between kisses on his tip. Finally after a second of having him wait, you shoved your face in fully, adjusting to his size and gagging around him as you felt him touch your uvula. “Aww is it too much for you.” He snickered, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear as you stayed in one place, his shaft buried deep down your throat. You nodded quite quickly but beginning to hallow your cheeks and pulling out for air. “Look at you taking me so well. What a good girl you are for me, eh?” He said, stroking your cheek, earning a smile from you, giving you more motivation to continue your act on him. “-f-fuck..I’m gonna cum” he announced a minute later. He tried his hardest to not become needy and dominate, but the pleasure took over making him start to thrust into your mouth and shove your mouth even deeper. It Came without warning so you began gagging again, unable to breathe due to how far down he shoved himself down your throat. A moment later you felt the warm substance fill your mouth, beginning to swallow.
“Shit” he mumbled out of breath. “Open up” he said while lifting your chin. You stuck your tongue out showing him that you had in fact swallowed and was ready for what was about to come next. He gave a few tugs at his shaft before letting out some more cum, doing a cum shot all over your face and tongue. He came in for another kiss, tasting himself all on your tongue before picking you up with your thighs wrapped around his waist. He took you to the back of the bed and placed you onto his knee, allowing you to grind against something as he recovered from his last high. You let out a few moans into his mouth, his knee rubbing against your clit. Suddenly, Pablo flipped you over so you were on your back, giving perfect access to do whatever he wanted. He started from your ears, kissing the lobe and licking the helix before trailing off to your jaw, lips, and down to your neck, leaving hickeys everywhere for tomorrow you to deal with. He started kissing all around until finally finding your sweet spot, sucking and kissing into it causing you to bite your lip in order to conceal your moans.“Pablo” you whined out as he stopped kissing your neck. He started to go down your body once more, going from your collar, down to the valley of you breasts where he gave a small kiss on your sternum before continuing down and pulling your shorts with it. You were left in your underwear, your clothes discarded somewhere along with Pablo’s. At this point, you had forgotten all about studying, the only thing you wanted right now was him to be inside of you. He sat on the bed, back pressed up against the headboard, inviting you straddle him. You crawled over to him and got got on your knees, right above where Pablo shaft was. You gave it a few tugs and toyed with the tip again. You loved when you got Pablo needy and riled up.
“Sit on it.” He said, grabbing a hold of your shoulders to stop you from moving around. “As you wish….papi” you winking before moving your underwear to the side and sinking in. You both gasped at the feeling. You because of the stretch and Pablo because of the tightness. After a second you began to move, bouncing up and down slowly, gaining pace after each bounce. Each time you went in-and-out, you felt him getting closer and closer to your cervix, making you want pablo to take over. You felt his hands move to your back, searching for the clasp so he could undo your bra, wanting for you to be on full display for him. A second later, it came off and Pablo immediately started leaving small nibbles along the nipples. He pulled you down so your forehead was resting on his as he began to thrust up into you, causing you to moan loudly into the poor boys ears.
He kept abusing you g-spot for a while, making you become paralyzed with pleasure , not wanting the feeling to end. “I-I’m sooo glad you lost that g-game” you said with a vibrating voice and a couple of gasps in between words. “I’m so glad you decided to play..” he said, kissing your lips and speeding up. “Pablo” you moaned, feeling on the edge, almost to the point of cumming. A moment later you released the knot and came all over Pablo.
“F..fuck your tightening around me so p..perfectly…” and with that you felt Pablo twitch inside of you, followed by the feeling of his cum filling you up to the brim. You rode out your highs and you collapsed onto Gavi’s chest, the high being a little too good for you to comprehend. You got off of him and laid down next to him, still catching your breath.
“That was f..fun!” Pablo mumbled while laughing. “Oh and also, I think I broke that promise”. “What promise?” Showing that Pablo fucked the brains out of you.
“The ‘study session’.”
~
A/n
I love this idea because I’ve had this idea ever since like June 2022 and never got around to writing it so here it finally is. In my head the idea sounded good so let’s hope it actually works out 🤞
Btw I’m too tired to do the text coloring rn so I’ll probably get around to that tomorrow (hopefully)
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rodolfoparras · 6 months
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Just wanted to leave this out here because I've seen it mentioned a few times in your posts. Please ignore it it makes you uncomfortable!
Just imagining Price wearing lingerie or other feminine articles of clothing around the house/in the bedroom when he’s with you— something that you no doubt had to convince him of at first because he was too shy/embarrassed to actually want to do, insisting that he was “too old” and that the clothes were too “feminine” for him to be wearing. After tons of coaxing and lots of promises about not taking pictures (a total lie, wink wink) of him though, he reluctantly dorns on this pretty, frilly piece of lingerie that you suspiciously already had lying around at the back of the closet, which of course, after tons of teasing and foreplay, leads to the most mind blowing sex this man has ever had.
Just imagining Price wearing these pieces only in the privacy of your shared bedroom at first, but eventually, he finds himself enjoying how it the lingerie/clothes feels against his skin, the strange sort of comfort it gives him, and how it makes him feel small and cute— pretty, even. He soon finds himself starting a whole collection of pretty/fem clothes that he wears around the house. It's the only thing he wears when he gets back home from a long, stressful day back at base. Some days, he even wears a pair of frilly panties as well a pair of stockings (maybe even a bralette to hold those huge bazongas of his) underneath his uniform. It makes him so horny and yet so undoubtly embarrassed at the same time. Because here he is, a thirtyish - fourtyish year old man (and the Captain of a taskforce at that) wearing underwear meant for a girl. What would people say if they caught him?
Just imagine all the ways he’d tease you as well! Him purposfuley bending down to pick something up and intentionally giving you a peek of pretty pink lace from underneath his pants, or wearing a sexy little black dress that hugs all his curves and fat and that pushes up his cleavage. I swear, this man is giving me fucking brainrot. 😩
Anonie I have waited to post this bc I didn’t wanna reveal my Drabble idea so early BUT PLA KNOW this was one of the most beautiful asks bc YES YES YES.
I need price who comes home from work irritated and stressed only to have the tension bleed away once he puts on a lingerie and one of your old shirts and he looks absolutely fucking lovely in it cheeks matching the same color of the lingerie, looking so cozy in your shirt while cuddling up to you and even though he’s not even trying to tease you cant help but feel your cock twitch to life when he straddles your lap and nuzzle your neck
ALSO PRICE IN HEELS??:?;?: price wearing those and using them to step on you? Going from all shy and careful about sharing how much he loves wearing them how pretty he feels in them to straight up pushing the heels up against your cock watching you grunt out in pain while also getting hard
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sugarsnappeases · 1 month
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fnvjfnbjgnjb I really hope this isn't weird but I am actually so desperate to hear some of your rosekiller headcanons (the more fucked up the better < 3)
hello!!!! i am. actually…. would you guys murder me if i said i didn’t think about rosekiller like all that often….. when i do think about them it’s normally prompted by things that saints @foursaints (lord and saviour of the rosekillers) posts. but. just for you, my dearest futurequibblerjournalist, i’ve been racking my brain for some vaguely interesting things to say. so:
to start off, in terms of characterisations, in my mind, barty is a ‘worshipper’ and evan is an ‘investigator’ if that makes sense - like my barty (and again this is heavily influenced by my whole barty michelangelo variant thing which i never shut up about) is someone who will completely offer himself up to, in this case, evan, like he’s trying to get under evan’s skin both idiomatically and literally, there’s this whole kinda masochistic self-dispossession thing going on which is him just entirely putting himself in evan’s hands, at his disposal, a ‘whatever rosie wants, rosie gets’ kinda thing (and all the things that rosie wants are a little fucked up… like evan wants. a rib, let’s say, and barty is immediately offering his up, like take mine please take mine i have a few to spare, and they do the surgery, no anaesthetic, lots of eye contact, and it’s the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to either of them… evan likes to run his fingers over the stitches before they’re fully healed up, maybe pull a few out, just to see….)
anyway i digress but also kinda not a huge digression bc that leads me on to evan as ‘investigator’ - disclaimer!!! evan as a character is a lot more nebulous to me than barty, like i feel like i haven’t entirely grasped him yet so allow me some wiggle room please and thank you but. evan is curious, that’s his central characteristic in my mind, he just wants to like… see, to understand. i think he doesn’t care much for people in terms of them being like actual people, he cares more about. how they work i guess biologically, like how their bones connect to allow them to move in particular ways, how the neurons in their brains do things (i’m really not a steminist i’m sorry guys) to make them say things and act in particular ways. his like. life mission. or whatever. is to figure out how ‘humanity’ works if that makes sense….
and barty is a bit of an aberration in some ways bc he doesn’t interact how he’s supposed to interact and he doesn’t move how he’s supposed to move and evan is curious, bc he normally doesn’t allow anything to bother him but barty is just. a bother. like in general. and evan wants to crack barty’s head open and get a good look at his brain, prod at it, investigate it, and barty would let him. barty would genuinely actually let him and that sort of power, someone being that devoted to you, is a little heady in a way that evan has never really experienced and barty would do anything bc he sees evan and he sees someone who wants to dig deep beneath the surface of him, someone who wouldn’t flinch away from whatever ugliness their digging revealed, bc both of them are so rotten at their cores imo, and he sees a sort of ascension, a higher purpose maybe… it’s absolute body and soul devotion, it’s ‘he could physically cut my heart to pieces and put it under a microscope and that would be divinity’
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whispering-ways · 10 months
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•♡✷ matched hearts (pt. 1) ✷♡•
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✷ summary: shinsou downloads a dating app and starts talking to you
✷ pairing: hitoshi shinsou x reader
✷ tags: no warnings, just fluff!
✷ notes: slanted texts indicate actual text messages (purple is shinsou, white is reader) :)
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Shinsou wasn’t a big fan of dating apps. He wasn’t even a big fan of talking to the people around him nevertheless new people. It’s not that he didn’t like people, he liked his friends of course, it was just hard to maintain a conversation with people is all.
But seeing all the couples on campus did honestly make him feel a bit lonely, leading him to download Hinge. He honestly never took it seriously; it was fun to swipe through profiles but he never took the time to have any sort of deep conversation with anyone. That is until he saw your profile.
He’d seen you around UA a couple of times and thought you were pretty, but Hinge let him see you in a whole new light. Apparently, you really liked crocheting, which he found interesting because he always wanted to learn how to do it, but never quite found the time to actually learn. You were a huge movie buff which was yet another plus since he was too. You also seemed to be really smart; UA didn’t just choose any old student to be part of the Department of Support after all. Something about you just carried this bright aura that pulled him in. Soon enough he was liking your profile and sending you his best pickup line in hopes of talking to you more.
You’d just gotten home from a long day of tinkering with a new gadget you’d been working on recently when you saw that someone liked your Hinge profile. At first, you were going to ignore the notification; you were way too tired. But even after you took a shower, ate dinner, and took a melatonin gummy, it seemed like you’d never be able to fall asleep. So you opened up Hinge, thinking that if you were going to be up, you might as well look through some profiles.
That’s when you saw that Shinsou liked your profile. You didn’t know him too well, but you had seen him pop into the support department a couple of times. You definitely thought he was cute, but you’d never really gotten a chance to talk to him since he mostly just talked to Mei when he needed repairs. But his pick-up line?
“‘Is your name yarn? Because you’ve got me all tangled up in your stitches’?” you said with a laugh. It was for sure one of the cheesier pick-up lines you’d been told, but still pretty sweet. You thought about it for a second and then decided to reply. I mean it’s not like you were falling asleep anytime soon anyways.
Lol that’s really cheesy, but you’re in luck bc cheesy pick-up lines are my fav :)
After a few minutes, you thought you wouldn’t hear a reply back till tomorrow morning so you started scrolling through Instagram. But after looking through a couple of posts, you saw that Shinsou sent you a reply back.
Haha, well I’m glad you like it. How has your day been?
Its been a little tiring tbh, I’ve been working on this one gadget for who knows how long and I just can’t seem to get it to do what I want it to do lol. How’s yours been?
This time the reply was instantaneous.
Tiring as well. I’ve been doing nothing but training all day today. What sort of gadget are you making?
That surprised you; most people thought making gadgets was boring and didn’t want to know too much about it. But as you gave him more details about what you were building, he seemed genuinely interested. It was refreshing, to say the least. That question lead you both into talking about your careers and the passion he had to be a hero was evident. It was inspiring to see how much he cared about quirks that were looked down on in society. To you, it was certainly admirable and made you want to work harder in your own career.
Shinsou thought your dedication to the support department was amazing. It was good to talk to someone who was equally as ambitious as he was, but not actively trying to be competitive, which was a big issue between students in the hero industry. As the night carried on, the both of you kept texting about anything and everything.
There was just something so comforting and natural when talking to you. It was just simple. Before you two knew it, it was 4 am and you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore. You’d felt yourself drifting off a couple of hours ago, but the conversation was just too good for you to end it then. You and Shinsou said goodnight and you hoped that this wasn’t the end of the both of you talking.
When you woke up the next morning after talking to him, you were greeted with a text from Shinsou which immediately put a smile on your face.
Good morning. I hope you have a nice and hopefully less tiring day :)
It was simple, but sweet and lead you both to continue talking throughout the rest of the day. It had been now about three days since your initial conversation and you both had been texting the entire time. Getting texts from Shinsou had now become one of the most delightful parts of the day. Whenever you saw a notification from him, you felt a wave of giddiness flood through you.
Shinsou, although he didn’t want to admit it, also found himself grinning at your daily texts. Every time he heard the chime of his notifications, he secretly hoped it was you texting him back. And while he knew he shouldn’t be so quick to answer, he couldn’t help texting you back instantaneously. You were one of the only people he enjoyed talking to after all.
It took a lot of courage out of him, but after an hour of hyping himself up and drafting out the text in his mind, Shinsou finally asked you out on a date.
Would you happen to be free this weekend? I’ve really enjoyed talking to you and I’d like to take you out on a date if that’s okay with you.
When you saw that text, you squealed and threw your phone on your bed in excitement. After a moment, you realized that you’d actually need to settle yourself and reply to him.
I’d love that! Are you free on Saturday around 11am?
Shinsou’s nerves instantly settled; he was absolutely elated reading your last text. He took a minute or two to think of some places he thought you’d enjoy and then sent his reply.
Yeah, that works for me :) there’s a cat cafe nearby UA, would you like to go there?
That sounds lovely! I love cats, so thats acc perfect!
Great! I’m a big cat fan myself. I guess its a date then ♡
Soon after you two had set up your date, you both said your goodnights. But you were far too excited to fall asleep any time soon. You were already laying in bed, planning your outfit, and thinking about how you wanted to do your makeup even though the date was two days away
. A couple of blocks away, Shinsou was thinking about the date too. The more he'd talked to you, the more he truly felt this connection with you. It just felt like kismet. All he was hoping for now is that you weren't any different in person.
You spent most of the night thinking of different scenarios of how you thought the date would go in hopes of calming you down enough to fall asleep. However, it did the exact opposite, the lovely thoughts keeping you awake. After a while though (and with the help of a melatonin gummy), you were able to fall asleep and you dreamt of your date the whole night.
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peachy-lemon83 · 2 months
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Why am I reacting to these like it’s my first time seeing them?? I’ve watched these like at least 3 times and that’s for the new episodes because I was absent in the fandom bc I am a wondering cat who can not stay in one fandom house or even fandom neighborhood lol)
Okay but I actually love Logan giving Deceit room to speak in selfishness v. Selflessness Redux (wether he wanted to or not)
Him being upset at Patton for skipping his information just bc it didn’t contribute to his side
Logan teaming up with Deceit! it was great
It definitely felt like a “you’re both hurting him too” moment for Patton and Roman, especially Patton who seems to be like the purest of light sides. We’ve seen them unintentionally hurt Thomas before but this was huge
(Also is it me or does Deceit seem kind of salty/passive aggressive, almost like he’s upset that something happened bc Thomas wasn’t taking time for himself… mmmmm wonder what big things have happened bc Thomas wasn’t taking his time and listening to parts of himself… -glances at Virgil ducking out- on top of the three of them already being pushed down and out for so long, not being given the seat at the table)
Also why do all the dark side so far have the same humor, it’s always the sarcastic not technically wrong mixed with the taking things literally
Virgil: oh I’m sorry, was I not wanted at this exact second? (His literally 2nd line in the whole series lmao)
Virgil: do you actually want me to count them? (See a previous post of mine for more details and a better actual quote but it was a response to a question from Logan where he couldn’t tell if he actually wanted him to count out how many times they’d done something or if it was rhetorical)
Remus: (in reaction to Logan saying “and figuratively dress him down”) oh! Well if that’s what you wanted, Logan *pants unzip* you could’ve just said so!
(To which Logan screams about how this is the exact reason he puts the silly “figuratively”s in there for since Roman constantly calls them unnecessary)
Also Logan seems to have gotten this form of combating this down pat(ton) and it makes me wonder if he hangs out with them or just maybe just Virgil and that’s why he has this habit or is it just him being himself
Janus: you’re right we wouldn’t want to plant too many trees (after giving a face/noise of “well…” when Patton said something like “everything in moderation”)
Janus:(in response to Romans: “well when is it enough?” Where he’s pretty obviously talking about the previous topic) …trees?
All to come down to my point I love their sense of humor so much lmao
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saerins · 4 months
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Girl, you don’t have an idea of how much interesting i found the argument/ angst between Mirin & Sae(? idk only if u want, u think u could give us some “extra” (it can be just a single short post) about them? Like, I think Mirin was A LITTLE right to be mad bc he was practically the love of her life and let’s be honest 😭 it’s heartbreaking that ur first love that promised u everything now is in a arranged married AND ACTUALLY loves his wife😕 idk THEIR ANGST IT’S SO GOOOOODDDDDD😢😭😭😭😭
ok hi nonnie !! lemme preface this by saying i was gonna write a whole part of mirin’s pov but it will just be centred around the same scenes and i don’t think you guys want that haha so here’s some extras for you, some small parallels between sae/mirin and sae/yn :) + my own opinions on them mwahahaha
fun fact: sae fell for mirin first. imagine the rich cold guy awkwardly trying to get closer to her & eventually winning her over because she gets to see all the sides to him that nobody else can.
+ mirin was always cautious with relationships because well, her family’s own personal issues. & sae was always patient with her, always entertaining her little ‘tests’ - think something along the lines of: continuously pushing him away and expecting him to always come back (which is exactly why she acted that way abroad). <- this was obviously very tiring to sae but he always did it, but that was why her dating other people was considered a huge blow to him and honestly made him feel like giving up on her altogether.
would he and mirin have worked out if yn wasn’t in the picture? maybe. a hugeeeeee maybe. pros: if yn wasn’t there, then mirin wouldn’t have acted the way she did and sae would still think the world of her. cons: they had their own issues that weren’t so apparent only because sae is laser-focused on making it work with yn.
would he and mirin work it out IF yn and sae don’t work out? nope. HUGE nope. he finds out she slept with oliver? done deal bye bye <3
also, mirin and sae never made their relationship too public :) they were always sneaking around because mirin wanted it private. aside from their inner circles, to everyone else, the most that they were were rumours.
did sae mean what he said to her back then? absolutely. 100%. it’s the kind of love where he realised “shit what is this fucked up feeling and why am i willingly diving into it?” and she taught him a lot, tbh. a lot of which helped him personally when trying to communicate with yn.
anywho !! i feel that given the context of what happened between sae & mirin - how she insisted on the breakup, dated other people while abroad and both of them naturally drifted (because sae didn’t really have the heart in him to keep trying since it looked like mirin was kinda trying to move on, even if she said in the end after that that she couldn’t forget about him) - for me personally his only fault was not offering her closure when he knew her intentions. that night at the karaoke bar when she was there, he should’ve set things straight (not that it would change much but still 😭).
mirin had a right to be angry - she didn’t get any closure and it’s easy to spiral but she knew he was married. didn’t even bother to ask him why he agreed or nothing and just tried to win him back. in comparison, we have yn who wants to try to understand him, who goes along with what he says because despite now it being sae who’s trying to push her away, she’s still there. despite him knowing she’s a passive person and easily scared, she stands her ground and covers for him even when he’s being an ass. that’s a huge part of the reason why he so easily faltered - fron personal experience he knows it’s not easy.
when sae fell in love with mirin, it felt more of chasing after something seemingly unattainable. it was a new, first love that exposed him to any such feelings. but with yn it was subtle. it was him noticing little things and growing to love them. it was him realising the beauty in trying and understanding yn will be much more of a bigger person than he could ever be. his respect and admiration for his wife grew with each day and that is why ultimately in the end, from sae’s pov, he has to learn to catch up with her in order to be able to give her the kind of love and support she deserves.
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heretherebedork · 4 months
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Hi, just wanted comment on your last last twilight post. Hope it’s ok.
I totally agree with a lot of things you been saying about the last episode and am mostly on the same page, I just think you are a bit to harsh on Day. And I wanna say that my opinion totally depends on what happens next episode.
But I think it’s only human to overreact sometimes when one is hurt. Mhok never mentioned his worries and his troubles to Day, so it makes sense for him not to know about it. And while I also think the break up is a bit to much of an overreaction and I’m also pretty unhappy how the scene played out in general, I can understand Day being unreasonable in the moment and not being able to see past his own feelings and insecurities. It makes him look like an ass, but when one already feels hurt and angry it’s pretty hard to be rational and take the other parties feelings into account. The thing is that once Day has calmed down he has to realise that he fucked up and go and apologise.
And that why it really depends on how the next episode plays out. I think from a writing standpoint it would totally make sense for Day to go talk thinks out with Mhok, just like he did with August and his father.
It would be a total disservice to his character if that didn’t happen, bc he did it twice before and it showed his growth as a character that he confronted the dad without Mhok having to push him to do it.
But if that doesn’t happen Day would just look like a total dick. It would send the message that August and the father deserve more respect and forgiveness for their actions than Mhok. And that’s just fucked up.
I really hate how Mhok gets punished for being traumatised and I hope Day genuinely apologises for his overreaction and they talk about it. If they decide to take a break after that or have a long distance relationship, it would be fine by me either way. Day should get a chance to support Mhok as well and Mhok shouldn’t need to get over his shit alone.
I’m kinda just writing this bc I see so many people hating on Day for not supporting Mhok, when the show never gave him a chance to do it, bc how could he have known. It’s more a writing problem than it is a problem with Day in my opinion. But yeah the scene was so bad it made my skin crawl.
Anyway sry for this whole ass rant. I really love your metas and writing and I hope you have a lovely day.
I will admit it's a writing problem. It's a huge writing problem.
And, maybe you're right, maybe the finale will open with Day going to talk to Mhok the day after because he came to his sense and realized what Mhok was saying and that this can't be the end and the entire preview was just Aof mocking us like he did in Bad Buddy.
But I just can't trust that.
Look, is there a chance that they will start the episode with Day going to talk to Mhok and all the moments we saw in the preview will be something else entirely and feel different and I'll be thrilled.
But just... what a way to throw so much out at the end of the penultimate episode and in a way that left such a bitter taste in my mouth.
If they had shown Day supporting Mhok at any other point in the show... I would feel better about this. I would feel better about it. But there wasn't. There was nothing. Just Mhok being everything for Day and then Day instantly turning on him and kicking him out?
Actually, one of the bigger problems was how they also handled Day's mom because fuck that noise. How did she go from cutting her son off from the world to suddenly being the one who could ~see his independence~. Fuuuck that noise. That makes me trust it a lot less, honestly. Because they handled that so badly.
I'm just... I want to trust Aof and believe that this will turn into something I can at least accept.
But I just can't trust it.
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project-sekai-facts · 7 months
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Considering the other post/ask about the new comission sounding like its from descendants. Which characters would be who? Like I feel like Tsukasa would be Ben maybe
God I haven’t watched this film in years but I’ll give this a shot. It’s hard to match them up honestly. Like there’s not a huge amount of similarities between the casts of both franchises, or at least from what I remember of it. I just based this off the first film bc I barely remember the 2nd and 3rd. Also I didn’t take the fact that the film has romance (sub)plots into account lol.
Uh I think Mizuki could work as Evie. Fashionista who makes her own clothes, pretty smart and the most girly one of the group.
Carlos is the smart tech guy which obviously is a Rui thing but other than that they are not really similar from what I remember.
All I remember of Jay is that he was sporty and liked to work alone pre-character development, which is similar to Akito actually. Ignoring the fact that Jay flirted with girls a lot from what I remember which is something Akito definitely doesn't do.
I struggled with Mal because I don't really remember much about her despite her being the main character. I remember she wanted to prove she could be evil to her mother and then fell in love with Ben and became a good guy somewhere along the line, and I don't remember much else. Mafuyu? Just going off the whole doing what her mother wants and then making her own decisions plot.
Audrey as well because she's too mean for any of the prsk characters. Also iirc a lot of her arc was built off her being pissed at getting dumped and I have no idea how you'd write that in here.
I don't remember Ben having much personality outside being nice and being the love interest so I'm gonna let you keep the Tsukasa casting because he has the king card.
And Jane is the only other character I remember and I guess Kohane could work for her? Iirc Jane was the plain normal girl who wanted to be pretty and special and Kohane was the plain normal girl who wanted to be able to do something she could be passionate about so at least the first part is the same.
This is a mess I tried I hope this is okay anon
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elainafinds · 2 years
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*please read* i need help.
hi everyone, this is a post i never ever ever ever wanted to make. i feel really bad making this actually and scared bc i don’t want it to come off the wrong way at all.. however, as you guys know i recently got surgery. i know i wasn’t open about what but for the sake of this post i will be. on august 30th i got vsg surgery. it’s a weightloss surgery. i’ve been extremely depressed and isolated these past couple years because of how uncomfortable i was in my own skin, and bc i have PCOS and this surgery was essentially to kick start my life again. almost the whole time i’ve been on youtube i’ve been working towards getting this surgery and it already has been one of the best things i’ve ever done for myself. the day before surgery the hospital called to get my payment for the procedure. i was always under the impression that it would be fully covered by my insurance and that the down payment would only be a couple hundred dollars. i’ve been saving up to pay my deductible but then they hit me with the fact that it was actually going to be $2,400. they told me this the day before surgery. i felt like i was going to throw up hearing that bc it’s just something i don’t have. but i needed this surgery. so i had to pay it but it’s borrowed and has to be payed back. my youtube and patreon are my only sources of income since i knew that this surgery and my recovery were going to be my main focus. but even with both of those i don’t make nearly enough to pay back that money on top of everything else. and i haven’t been able to put my full focus into youtube recently and creating bc of the fact that this journey has been so hard for me and a huge adjustment. but also physically since surgery was in my stomach its also hard to sit at my desk right now and put my full energy into creating. so i guess the main purpose of this paragraph is to ask for a little bit of help. i really really have tried to keep things like this of my platform but i’m really struggling and in an extremely tight spot. even a couple dollars would help me. you guys are more than supportive watching my videos and pledging to my patreon and i appreciate you for that more than anything. if you can’t i completely understand and do not feel inclined to. but i don’t know where to turn. i love you so much im so sorry for this i feel terrible. but if you do decide to help out i will make it up to you all with the future of my content. again i feel terrible about this. but i am hopeful that i can get through this hurdle.
my cashapp is $elainaa13
paypal is https://paypal.me/elainasewell?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US
and my venmo is $elaina-sewell
again, i’m sorry for this post but i didn’t expect this to happen. and it’s been weighing on me. i love you all.
likes and shares would also be super appreciated 🥺
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imrinababy · 1 month
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Day 8 of Crona’s April CAS Challenge!
I hope this posts on time + I’ve skipped a few days bc my sims didn’t come out the way I’ve wanted them to with the stuff I have but I was really looking forward to this day. I was debating on making a brand new pair of twin sims but I also wanted to bring back a set of twins that I grew really fond of. I decided to revamp them & give them a whole new life so here we go!
𝙽𝚢𝚕𝚊 [𝚜𝚑𝚎/𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢] & 𝙻𝚢𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 [𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚜]
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Coming from a line of fairy elves that are more physically superior than humans (have an easier time doing physical activities than regular humans such as being able to run longer distances without tiring, climb and swim for hours without breaking much of a sweat, stronger naturally in general, etc) Nyla is someone who easily fits the bill.
You’ll always find her in the smallest, tightest & girliest little dresses with heels to match (and yes, she’s always ready to party) so you might think she’s always just got off the latest catwalk, too busy to care for the average person but it’s actually quite the opposite. Nyla has a huge passion for her little plants.
Most people actually stumble across Nyla crouched down and poking at dirt. People often come up to her with concern as it’s an odd site to see someone all dolled up & playing in the dirt but, if you were to ask her if she’s okay, she’s passionately tell you about the plant she’s trying to save at the moment.
Nyla loves the outdoors. She gets sad if she’s cooped up for too long. Her favorite color is purple and she has an obsession with butterflies. You’ll usually find her tending her garden, in greenhouses checking out the latest plants, in fields watching the butterflies or letting loose and enjoying a party.
She has a good heart and is very outgoing. She also enjoys being physically active and loves involving herself in charity work. She can hide her wings if needed but she takes pride in them and enjoys having them on full display. Overall, she loves being able to be out there in the world, waiting to stumble on her next adventure & Lyndsay…
“Can we go home yet?” is something you’d commonly hear out of the younger sister’s mouth. If it wasn’t for how my Nyla mentioned her sister, you probably wouldn’t realize that Nyla had a sister at all. A twin sister at that.
Although their species have a physical advantage over humans, you wouldn’t really be able to tell that observing Lyndsay. Lyndsay never really preformed well doing physical activities and much prefers to stay inside. She’s a geek and really good when it comes to tech stuff. She’s a huge gamer and does all her stuff online so she doesn’t have a real reason to get out much but when she does, you’d probably hear her grumbling about how she “has an event to grind” or how she “should have stayed home anyways.”
She hates wearing heeled anything (minus her favorite boots) and hates wearing anything too revealing. You’d usually find her in a baggy hoodie and cargo pants at home lounging around. You wouldn’t think these two were related by how polar opposite they were but they’re twin sisters for a reason.
Although the two are insanely different, they value each other like no other. Where one lacks in an area, the other makes up for it. They’re one killer team and no matter their differences, they always know that they have each other at the end. They have immense love for each other and know each other’s strengths/ weaknesses so they always know how to boost each other up in situations. Wherever one goes, the other is always soon to follow. You can’t separate these two little peas in a pod. They’ll always find a way to get back to each other.
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lqfiles · 1 month
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ANON WHO BROUGHT UP LUCAS THANK U I WAS ITCHING TO TALK AB HIM BUT I WAS SOOO SCARED BC i didn’t know if it was a safe space free of lumis or not…
my ig feels kinda curated to show me content of him there’s so much of his stans there compared to tiktok and the specific posts im getting is like “dreamies winning for smoothie!! …lucas in the back🥺💔” OR “dejun introducing lucas for his stage🥺🥺” SHUUTTT UPPPPP
it’s especially aggravating when there are situations in the industry that were far less impactful than his allegations the ones i’m thinking of specifically is soojin ex gidle as well as chuu have not promoted on music shows BUT WITHIN LIKE TWO MONTHS OF HIM COMING BACK HE GETS TO HAVE HIS SOLO DEBUT AND PERFORM??? and don’t even get me started on seunghan. what the fuck do you mean ot6 siren gtfo
i gave up on editing and was making shitposts on my tiktok praying for the downfall of sm ent because it seems they have a 7 member group curse DIEEE!!! (respectfully..! i lov u lee donghyuck i hope u can be free from the sm shackles in due time)
HSDJDKSKS don’t worry this is never a safe space for him and his fan i rlly do not like that guy and you’ll never catch me praising him.. anyways i got some stuff to say too but it will probably be the only time i’ll speak on it here because i don’t like giving that man attention 😶‍🌫️
bro i’m not surprised that you’re getting that stuff because when i tell you 99% of nctzens on insta are all lucas fans it actually shocked me 😭😭 i remember once commenting smth like “we don’t want him back” and i got sent death threats like OVER DOZEN???? MR CANT FIND THE BEAT?? 😭😭😭 tiktok is really 50/50 with a side that’s here for him and another side that doesn’t like him. the only platform i know where it’s mostly people disliking him is twitter but even then he got a pretty large following on there that is LOUD and ANNOYING
and you’re so right about that ITS SO CRAZY TO ME how SM just wouldn’t let go off him like they were so adamant on keeping him in the company for some reason and have been soft launching him for a good year trying to get the public to ease a bit, (the amount of concerts he’s attended to make his presence known.. you’re not slick SM) and i just don’t get what value he has to that company. he doesn’t bring the talent like he literally invented the term dozen because he dozen do anything right, he doesn’t bring the visuals, you can argue that he brings fans because he got a very huge SEA and latin (?) fan population that is veryyyy loud but even then the number of haters is much bigger, china literally hates him and korea barely tolerates him.
they didn’t hesitate to put seunghan on hiatus and are literally erasing him from the group in real time with the ot6 siren ver it’s crazyyy, all because he got his privacy invaded and did acceptable teen things? they kicked that SNSD member out for starting her own clothing brand and i’m sure they blacklisted her too, jaejoong got blacklisted too, soojin and chuu got kicked out, but the guy who has literal criminal allegations (that he basically admitted to himself) gets a whole pity sob documentary as well as rebranding as a soloist? chris lee is the biggest dick rider ever for this and it will never make sense to me😭
i honestly don’t like talking about him or mentioning him because 1. any type of publicity can be good publicity to him 2. arguing with his fans is useless and tiring because they will NOT change their mind 3. his face and existence annoys me so yeah i don’t like mentioning him because what’s the point hate-watching his content like that’s still publicity for him
but yeah if i find out any of his fans follow me i’ll literally block, even if you dont follow me and i find you’re his fan i block 💀 NOT A SAFE SPACE FOR LUMIS PLEASE LEAVE BEFORE I HAVE TO BLOCK U MYSELF 😭🙏🏽
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ambassadorarlert · 4 months
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currently laying in bed sick and figured i’d get some things off my chest
being on tumblr and interacting w ppl on here is strange bc 2023 was the roughest year of my entire life, like no joke. irl and online, i’ve been forced to stay quiet, hidden, and endure being burnt from every possible angle. i’ve gotten out of one toxic cycle barely by the skin of my teeth and the second chance of life i was given would be a wasted if i didn’t change the way i live and think.
this blog used to be a safe haven for me, a place where i could share my writing (which is something I wanted to get back into since falling out of it for years.) i had a huge medical accident, and never got treated properly for it because I couldn’t afford to see a doctor (financial abuse woo!! 😀) and was gaslight to believe certain things weren’t as they seemed, so my health was pushed to the back burner and i had to press on for someone who never even loved me. now that i’m away from that situation, i’ve been trying to not put pressure on myself to write and upload. i see writing as a whole an art and the things i want to create cannot be rushed or mass produced, which is what a lot of younger people are used to and why they’re so rude and demanding requests, why they don’t read rules or respect boundaries, why they say out of pocket shit because they’re used to commenting on their fav creator/celebs pics without repercussions. writers aren’t influencers or content creators — we’re people who do what we love for free. no creators programs to pay us and gives us platforms, no sponsorships, some of us don’t even get tips. when i see mutuals leave certain fandom spaces because of hate, it genuinely makes me sad.
on top of abuse irl, i’ve been getting abused on here as well. internet harassment hardly constitutes as “bullying” in the eyes of some but not to me. this is an especially hard topic for me to talk about, and i can hardly be vague about it because it will kick up a bunch more shit. but if want see the change, i have to speak up. if i want to be comfortable, i first have to get used to be uncomfortable. I never said anything until now, because it’s been dragged out long enough. they’re younger than me and are clearly suffering psychological issues. i for real don’t want them to be hurt. but it’s hard to not notice what they’re doing when they’re doing it. they keep tabs on everything i say and people i talk to, make blogs and remake blogs when I block them. i don’t have definite proof of this part in particular, but i suspect they go around and tell stories about me which makes sense as to why mutuals i’ve made will block/unfollow me out of the blue. (anyone can block who they want for whatever reason they want, but the pattern is there and it’s strange.) i’m sure they’ll try to take this post and create an issue, victimize themselves and change the narrative, but I don’t care anymore. i mentioned no names and i said what i said.
i want my blog back. i want to write my silly fics and stories. i want to be able to support people unapologetically and see all the self ships, say what i want to say and post what i want to post and show ppl that love is everything and there’s no place for hate in 2024. i’ve always been outspoken and called bullshit when i smelled it, and have said whatever has come to my mind. so if there’s anything I’ve ever said that may have offended someone in anyway, i actually truly am sorry and will 100% say it to your face if need be. its easy for me to troll real trolls, and stick up for other people who have a hard time defending themselves. i need to learn how to do the same for myself, and relearn how to take care of myself. i feel more comfortable doing that one step at a time.
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