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#i am still recovering from covid
callisteios · 1 year
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happy ides of march. in honour of the sitewide holiday i thought id make a new uquiz, so take to find out how you get assassinated
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verahatesglue · 2 years
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mind dog doodles from this week
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belligerentbagel · 2 years
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even Atlas has only two hands
vent art
#this one's for all the teachers out there#horror cw#hands cw#draws#after 2.5 years of caution and masking everywhere; i tested positive for covid on wednesday morning (first day of fall semester) 😔#at earliest; i can be back in the classroom on monday#wednesday itself was an absolutely horrible 24 hours (but admittedly the anatomist side of me has been going 'ah! physiological data!')#but thursday and friday were a grim indicator of how much capitalism has rotted my brain#because after getting through 24 hours of a MASSIVE illness with undetermined long-term effects; i felt compelled to return to the#6-hr-sleep 18-hr-waking cycle that i was accustomed to; out of GUILT for falling behind in work#(note: i was NOWHERE near 100% back on thursday. i could have charitably been put at 50% - still headaches & fatigue & productive coughs)#a friend had to very sternly tell me 'you cannot solve structural problems through constant 80-hour-week heroic measures'#'you especially cannot do this when you are recovering from a debilitating illness which has the potential to remain a -#- serious lingering problem if you overwork yourself'#like. gods. yeah. it's not my fault that my classrooms are stuffed to the student maximum that our union has valiantly maintained#it's not my fault that the district only gave us one pre-semester prep day; meaning that my room & plans were left unfinished before day one#and - even bigger; it's not my fault that public health in the US is careening into 'can we pretend hard enough like nothing's happening'#my students will have a milquetoast start this fall semester. that is fine.#their teacher might not be able to stand and talk for longer than ten minutes at a time#i will do what i can. i still care about them. i am reading their introduction emails and smiling a bunch.#but i refuse to allow myself to be consumed in order to keep this fire lit.
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blinkpen · 8 months
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having long ago made the executive decision to sublimate MUCH more of my rage over all the ways my body identity and personhood have been violated over the course of my life on levels both mental physical domestic and systemic into my writing by the way
#this does not mean we will be Seeing things on screen we don't need to#just that i am going to crank the dial and how much harrowingly visceral information can be conveyed -without- actually doing that#good horror will make a frame with seemingly nothing going on the scariest shit ever bc you Know. you cant see. but you Know.#the tragedy of 'my schizophrenia did not disable me but the PTSD from how i've been treated and taken advantage of bc of it DID'#'and SO MUCH of the WORST trauma was inflicted in the name of Fixing me (be it the mental illness or my gayness or my being a girl wrong)#and a lot of other things really but this is at the forfront of my mind as i finally finish recovering from a lot of repressed shit finally#boiling over to dangerously lethal levels last year and my entire brain just Imploded lmao#i dont know when i'll be able to really forgive my family for refusing to vaccinate or distance and transmitting covid to me twice#resulting in seizures and brain damage the second time#which basically hit a reset button on how well i could manage my pre-existing schizophrenic symptoms and damaged my cognition#i've had to mourn losing a big chunk of my own mind's ability to function focus or even remain anchored in reality because of that#oh yeah the transphobia my family still refuses to work on that and it also contributed heavily to the system shattering so bad#i finally realized that it even existed#some of the alters now have mutually exclusive genders and orientations presumably as weird coping mechanism
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tenspontaneite · 9 months
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Ok so literally no pressure, but I do have a kofi and if anyone feels like showing appreciation for my writing or art or I guess my cat via its medium, now would be a good time because there's a thing I really want to buy and I don't have enough birthday money left over for it lmao
(the thing is an art oriented android tablet. So that I can still draw shit when post work exhaustion compels me to collapse in bed against my desire to,,, you know, draw things.)
Link to my Kofi 👌
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bri-does-art · 13 days
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i know this probably won’t do much, let alone anything at all, but i’m sorry for the stress this site has caused you and so many other creators here. i’m not asking for you to stick around on here, but i hope you know just how meaningful you and your art have been on here. you’re amazing. /pos
Hey, this ask has done a lot more than you would think. Thank you, you are very sweet. <3
I've kind of made up my mind about what I'm gonna do for a while now, but I've simply been... too busy and overwhelmed to take the time to let you guys know. I'm not going to delete my tumblr, there's just. Too much here that I don't want to lose.
So far the game plan is: keep my tumblr. But do not upload anymore art or writing on it - not because it's gonna get scraped, because it was already getting scraped anyway, AI company deal or not. It's pretty much unavoidable at this point, unfortunately. I simply do not trust Tumblr with my data, if they're going to sell EVERYTHING, including private messages and such, so I'm not going to give it anything worthwhile to profit off of. Instead, I'm going to start uploading my art exclusively on Ao3, for now. I'll answer any asks I receive here on there too, as well. I'll figure some kind of system out. 🤔
The cool thing about uploading to Ao3 is that anyone subscribed to my profile or to the containment series I will make will get a notification anytime I upload something new. Having my art and writing in one place is likely going to be more convenient for you guys too, since you won't have to move across platforms to get the full experience. 😄It'll be different... but a platform getting too greedy for its own good won't stop me from finding ways to share my stories with y'all. I'll just find another solution.
(I've also been entertaining the idea of joining or making my own Discord server but. That one is a little more delicate. The idea of joining a server that has hundreds of members like a lot of this fandom's servers have, just. Makes me break into hives, lmao. (I am in the Ghost in the Machine fic server. I muted it an hour into joining, it was way too intense for me. |'D) That is way too many people, I simply cannot handle it. I'd be way more comfortable in a smaller group with a less rapid-fire rate of posting and conversation. I am also. Very picky about which servers I join, which makes asking for recommendations doubly awkward when I shoot them all down, haha... And making my own... Err, I can hardly keep up with a server I helped create for another fandom and mod for, I don't think I could handle two of them - I would need other people to handle the moderation for me, and I wouldn't trust just anyone to be a mod. I'd need to know them well enough to know I could trust them, and I... do not really know anyone in this fandom well enough to do that, sadly. I take server moderation very seriously, as someone who has had experience modding for forums back before social media was a thing. I do not know if that would make for a fun experience for everyone, and anyone who hasn't known that kind of supervised experience. It is comforting to me. It may be intimidating for others. So that's still a very hand-wavy, 'eehhhh' kind of thing still.)
All of this to say, that this isn't the last you'll see from me, far from it. I'll restrict my creative output to Ao3 for the foreseeable future, and I'll let you guys on here know when I make a new upload, so those of you who do not have an Ao3 account know when something new has happened.
So there you have it. 😊
#also just so y'all know#i AM working on the next CotA chapter#i am. about 40% done.#i needed to take a breather after that massive last upload and then life just. fucking tackled me lmao.#in order: my folks put up the house for sale. i have spent half of my weekends having to evacuate the house at a moment's notice.#so prospective buyers could visit. not very good conditions to write in. too stressful.#then i caught fucking covid for the very first time and had a BAD TIME. it took me weeks to recover. couldn't climb stairs for a while.#i think i still have episodes of brain fog 5 months later because of it. my body was really weird for a while after.#(writing is still a little hard after that. but i think i am slowly overcoming it. hopefully it doesn't show too much in the new chapter.)#random unexplained symptoms and more i will not share. then the holiday season came and went.#then we finally got serious buyers after months of having no-shows yank our chains and expulse us from our home for nothing.#the house is sold. then came the cleaning out and packing. we are nearly done and i am finally coming up to the surface to breathe a little#we are moving in a month's time so i might be a while before i feel stable enough to start posting a little more regularly once more.#so this year i may have to give mermay a pass. to my ENORMOUS chagrin. it's just not in the cards for me this year. ;___;)#but we are getting there. we're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. and i am confident enough to say it's not a train.
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andaniellight · 2 years
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The Grumpy and The Slutty (actually mutual pining though neither know it yet) according to Quick Escape 101: Guide Book to be the best spies by Yelena Natasha Romanoff
ID: Illustration of Frank Castle and Matt Murdock both in dark colored civilian clothes about to kiss each other. Frank looks panicked and confused but he’s too stunned to do anything more than grabbing on Matt’s left wrist as Matt leans up to kiss him on the lips. He’s murmuring, “The Hell you doing, Red?” to which Matt replies as he closes his eyes, “Covering you, asshole.” End of ID.
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Maidku :3
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king-of-the-mouseboys · 6 months
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I oove monsters have I mentioned how much I love monsters latwly because I LOVE monsters
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bosspigeon · 2 months
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How is your Tav and Durges' relationship to the other companions? Are they close with any of them, other than their LIs? What is their dynamic like?
Bonus: Do they have any notable relationships among the other non-companion characters?
HELLO I AM FINALLY GONNA TRY AND ANSWER SOME OF THESE YEEHAW
As I love literally all the companions, bc they are all so messy and beloved to me, most of my characters tend to have that disastrous found family dynamic that I adore <3 but ye I think they've all got their own relationships with each other them
I think Pyre gets along really well with Karlach? Which I imagine surprises the others, somewhat. But they're both soldiers, at the end of the day, and there's a comfortable familiarity in that dynamic for both of them. Karlach, of course, is somewhat irreverent when she responds "Sir yes sir" to Pyre giving her an order, but he finds her energy and zest for life really refreshing? They both know what it's like to be a prisoner, after all, and to cherish the freedom they have, knowing what it's like to claw your way out of hell.
He gets along with Lae'zel for similar reasons in one direction, and Wyll in another. He and Lae'zel talk shop and strategy a lot, and she respects his shrewdness and forceful decisiveness, and he her focus, determination, and discipline.
With Wyll, once things come out about Mizora, there is definitely an uncomfortable familiarity for him, and it makes him determined to help Wyll escape the contract however he can.
I feel that Pyre feels much older than the rest of the party, save Astarion and Halsin, and it's sort of given him a reluctant dad vibe 😩 Well, he acts gruff and reluctant, but I think deep down he enjoys having this sort of close bond with them all. He's been alone for so long...
As for non-party members? He and Zevlor get along fairly well, even though I feel like it doesn't seem that way to most who see it. I can definitely see some history between the two of them, and I think they interact exactly how you'd expect two gruff old men to interact.
NOW FOR MOSS
With Moss, I think the rest of the party wind up very protective of him. He's so open and earnest, and also just... doesn't understand a lot of the intricacies of the world around him. He's very clearly completely lost, with no memories to speak of, not even a name at first. Still, he's determined to survive same as they are, and he becomes... terrifyingly loyal to them, very quickly.
They have to help him a lot with just becoming a functional person? And tbh I feel like some of them take that duty VERY seriously. Gale for sure. Especially bc Moss will happily listen to him explain magic things for hours on end just staring at him like 🥺. He and Shadowheart bond over that shared amnesiac trauma, and also later on the fun Abusive Parent situations. Lae'zel admires his power and brutality when it's necessary, and his struggle to resist that brutality when it isn't. Wyll just admires how honest he is about what he is and what he's feeling, and how empathetic he is when he has absolutely no reason to be.
Karlach has decided she's his big sister, even if he is A Good Bit Bigger Than Her. She cannot wait until it is safe to put him in an affectionate headlock and give him a noogie 😩
Halsin takes on a mentor role as a fellow druid because there's a lot about being one that Moss, oddly enough, doesn't really understand? Moss respects him enormously.
At the end of the day, Moss would tear out the entrails of any who dared hurt any of his friends and eat them bloody (ʘ‿ʘ✿)
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hobisexually · 7 months
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#hm its time for a rant again <3#but my roommate has a date again and that makes me feel…….. extra mentally ill snsnsnsn#I’m a little bit upset because I spent this entire year trying to rebuild right. rebuild my social life rebuild the me I used to be#and every time I think I’m almost there shit derails me?#like okay first my dad and I. collide in unprecedented ways#then my back problems got worse than ever before#then I try to recover from not speaking to said dad and work throws a blow in my face that I quite frankly still haven’t really gotten over#then new body problems arise!#then we find out I definitely have pcos and can’t ignore it any longer#then everyone in my life is. moving on to a life phase I can’t follow to#but I had it all under control I was taking it in stride I was Coping#and then ……… I catch covid again#and it really triggered 1) my anxiety again in ways that. Sigh#and 2) im still not okay? it’s been three weeks and I’m still dizzy every day I have a headache all the time I am So tired I can’t focus#and my eyes are being weird#and idk that happened in the last week and also my neck is FUCKED and my shoulders feel like concrete#and last time my eyes were weird and I couldn’t focus and had a headache all the time it was also my neck#but I just…….. am 1) terrified it’s long covid I am so so so scared#2) how can I live life normally if this. keeps happening.#but mostly 3) I am so tired of it being blow after blow after blow#I am too generally busy with work or therapy or physio therapy or FUCKING pelvic floor therapy#which is a whole different kind of hell I can’t even begin to discuss on this website it makes me so uncomfortable#that I. can’t even date.#like where do I have the energy to.#I am about to turn 32 and what the fuck do I have to show for it#and what if this is it#what if? this is it?????!!???!#I don’t know if I can live with that#ugh this doesn’t even touch the root of it but I am Deeply Upset and I don’t like complaining or acting like a victim (im not!) but Jesus#I for once would just like to. be carefree. instead of feeling like I need to fix 29292993 things about myself before I can Live. fuck.
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いつまでどこまでなんて 正常か異常かなんて 考える暇も無い程 歩くのは大変だ
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papiermachecat · 1 year
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naturalbornlosers · 9 months
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if i get covid a third time bc one of my instructors didnt tell us he had it before class im gonna start biting people
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tellnxlies · 2 years
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aleniksimmer · 1 year
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I’ll try to publish something in the next days 🤞
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