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hegrowth · 2 months

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Have you considered that you may need a break from roleplaying as a creative outlet? if even just for a month to reset things and come back with a fresh set of eyes. Every single solution you've tried for your indecision has led you to a path where you're feeling anxious and guilty, and that's a set up for disaster leading you right back to making more blogs than you have the mental capacity to handle. This isn't meant to shame you, and I'm sorry if the tone is poor. it's hard to watch you struggle this way, and no one wants you feeling guilty over a hobby all the time. It may just be time for a break away from it all to reset your expectations for yourself and how you interact with this hobby.

honestly, the only anxiety I've really had through this whole thing has been central to simply talking about it and asking for feedback from folks. I feel annoying and silly because I am talking about it, and I am being flakey and indecisive, even though I really do appreciate receiving feedback and seeing what ya'll think.

then, there was feeling guilty when I remembered the struggles I've had with multis. in general, I kinda always feel guilty about the muses and characters I'm not showing attention to, even knowing I'm happiest focusing on whatever character I'm most excited about or have the most inspiration for. however, lately I noticed it's an "out of sight, out of mind" situation, because I've honestly had no anxiety or guilt in regards to the canon blogs and oc sidelogs I had that I wasn't showing attention to. which is weird, I know. I knew that I'd use them when I was ready / wanted to. the guilt only seems to come when I have a whole roster of muses present; presently, that guilt is based in the fact that someone may follow my multi for a specific muse or muses that I'm not really focusing on. I just feel bad about that, plus I love all of my characters and want to give them their due !

and, this isn't to say that I haven't had guilt or anxiety in the past about running multiple blogs, etc, or that I won't find I struggle with one or both when I get to that point in my decision making, I'm just trying to explain where I am right now / lately.

like, again, I really have been taking my time with this ! honestly I have ! when I feel anxious or uncertain I step away and come back to it later. it's why it's taken me this long and I've talked about it this much. uwu; I'm trying not to jump into things without thinking it through so I don't find myself in a situation I can't handle. it's just lately I've been rather flakey / wishy washy in many areas, so I've been changing my mind and going back and forth on things quite a bit. it's not a struggle, just the process I'm going through, and it's taking a lot of time and consideration.

as for your suggestion, I kinda... have ? I haven't really done anything creative in regards to roleplay on this blog or any in a... shameful amount of time. owo; I do take breaks. I mean, you probably mean from tumblr completely but this is my social platform and it's honestly hard to. that sounds super unhealthy I know but I am chronically online because I simply don't live in a place that allows me to be social in other ways. the friends I make online are the only friendships I have, and that is the sad truth. so it's difficult to remove myself completely. though I have genuinely tried and managed to take breaks, but even so I always end up in the same place unfortunately. and in the same dilemmas, quite honestly.

also, I don't know if you're the anon from before. I don't really care. I do appreciate your concern and you taking the time to say something, as much as I wish I knew who the person was behind the words. I realized it is the facelessness of anon that sets my hackles up, but I can see you genuinely tried to be gentle and supportive in writing this message, and I greatly appreciate that.

as for what you said. I mean, I already said a bit on that but. you're probably right. my therapist did say I should try new stuff and break away from doing what I have been doing in an effort to refresh myself. she seems to think I'm bored, and I kind of agree. I just... don't really know where to go from here, what to try or focus on. I'm a puffin, I don't do much lmao like really. I sleep and do homework and check tumblr and play video games, that is my life. it's also a matter of having the energy and willpower to do things, which I also struggle with. I can engage with tumblr from my phone, so it's accessible and easy and low effort.

I don't know. I'm doing my best. this response completely sapped my energy and I feel like I just talked myself in circles. I appreciate your concern and you taking the time to say something, and I know you're right. I just honestly don't know what to do about seeing that through. it was easier when I had other social stuff I could focus on, like the guild. but I don't have anything like that anymore unfortunately. if you or anyone else has suggestions I'm down to hear them, honestly.

anyway. I hope I touched on everything, I think I did. sorry for the length and talking in circles. I really am doing my best, and doing the best I know how. ♡

#《 ° inbox 》 we just got a letter ! i wonder who its from ?#《 ° selkie.exe 》 oh im trash just not approved trash

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thebuckleydiaz · 2 years

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1.4 Phantom Traveler

and we're back again for another installment of "God I Hate John Winchester". On today's episode: Jackles Derangement Syndrome, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, and demon lore that will be completely disregarded in every future episode!

Dean's first scene in this episode is a full body pan as he is sleeping facedown. This is… odd, especially because up until now, it's women who've been used for sex appeal. Now, I sincerely doubt they've realized that their audience is strongly female (who am I kidding, they never catch on to this), so, assuming they are still targeting a male audience, this is... still weird. Also taking into account that, at this point in their lives, neither Sam nor Dean really fits the build of typical male power fantasy. Dean is frequently shown in manners more traditionally suited to female characters (neverminded that nearly all of his character analogs are female, queer/queer-coded, or both) but in this case, I actually can't fathom what purpose this served, unless the writers/directors/crew already had themselves a case of ackles derangement syndrome.

Performative 'Masculinity' (or something like that): Dean makes a big show about hating the monkey suits, and he'll do this off and on for a few years, but I'm calling this as a performance because he absolutely LOVES dressing up later. But right now, he plays at hating it, and probably doesn't even know he's doing it, because it isn't how john works a case, john would hate it, and bc he's still at a point in his life where that's all that matters, he's hates it too

Underrated Intelligence of Dean Winchester: he turned a walkman into an EMF-meter. He's very excited about it. Sam's a dick about it.

A+ Parenting: John apparently says lots of nice things about Sam, but can't actually show any fucking appreciation for his kids when they're right there.

John Winchester is a Piss Ass Hunter: might as well have set his voicemail to day "I am a deadbeat dad and a deadbeat hunter. My children will solve your problems for me."

This is two episodes in a row now that feel like Dean-episodes despite the show claiming Sam is the Main Main Character. Two out of four episodes are more focused on Dean, and I would argue that only the pilot feels like a Sam-episode so far.

Final thoughts: This is generally on of my favorite episodes of season 1, even though the demon lore is wishy washy and doesn't make much sense at all with anything we learn later. Taunting Sam about Jess was a nice touch.

These episodes are so bleak and colorless!!! A lot of people rave about how much "better" film is over digital, and in some instances it may get footage better suited to the narrative, and hell, I'll even give you that it's probably true here. The color balance works well enough for the eerie ghost feel they're going for early on. I just don't like it. It's not visually pleasing.

#deranged winchester rewatch #dean winchester #supernatural #john winchester's a+ parenting

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wrenhyperfixates · 3 years

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Loki Series Thoughts—The Variant

With the release of episode 2, I’m back with another analysis. Spoilers ahead!! This will be a combination of personal thoughts, theories, and objective analysis. This is overall, a positive review, so if you do not want to see that, I would not recommend continuing to read. I am however more than open to some friendly debate and discussion over any and all of the following points, whether you agree or disagree with them.

With all that being said, let’s dive in:

I feel gypped on the Holding out for a Hero fight scene. I mean, I liked how the scene was shot, especially with the whole loudspeaker thing (it set the mood very well), but where’s Loki fighting to that song?

Alright, I might as well address the elephant in the room: Is Loki OOC? Well, for my money, the answer is both yes and no. And I don’t mean to be wishy-washy; it really kind of depends on how you define OOC and/or who exactly you take this Loki to be.

What does OOC mean? To me, the literal definition of “out of character” would be the character acting in a way unlike they’ve been seen acting before. Likewise, according to Collins Dictionary it would be defined as “not typical of the apparent character of a person or thing.” Now, that’s a bit too black and white. What if you have a character in a new situation, how do you know how they’d react? By analyzing their past actions and seeing if they line up. And if you stop at this point and deem Loki entirely OOC, well you’re allowed to and that’s valid. I, however, would not say entirely is the word to use. Somewhat, yes, but not terribly and not inexcusably so. I’ll come back to this in a moment.

Who is this Loki? He’s the one right after the Avengers, of course, but he’s something different too. Think about it, the whole series is centered around how different choices can shape the very fabric of the universe. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that changes in Loki’s story would cause him to behave differently than what we’ve seen before? This is, in essence, a different Loki, albeit one who’s own narrative is shaped by a shared backstory with ours. It even says it on his jacket in big, bright letters: VARIANT. So while he shouldn’t be too dissimilar from the Loki we know, I do not think we can entirely look to the old to determine the new.

Now that we have that out of the way, we’re back to my somewhat noncommittal answer of the original question. Loki has some moments that seem OOC, but almost always has a (valid) reason for acting that way, both in and out of universe.

Loki’s OOC moments:

◦ The Renaissance Fair: And I by no means think this applies to his whole spiel. In fact, I think it was largely in character. What got me was “Which is absurd, because my people are, by nature, gullible fools. A trait that I, the God of Mischief, exploited time and time again simply by listening.” And then again, right after B-15 announces they are one unit away from red line. Though, my issue with the latter is how rushed it is. This could make sense because he’s worried about having time to finish his ploy. It’s a small thing to harp on for sure, though, for the point I am trying to make.

◦ In the hallway: This is where I think he’s most OOC. It feels rambley and pointless. More a desperate plea than a calculated last resort.

◦ With the librarian: I was hesitant to put this one in, but he seemed a bit unsure at points in his dialogue here. The inflection of his voice in the middle just sounded, like I said, unsure.

◦ The cafeteria (both times): More so in the first. The metaphor was, like Loki himself said, clumsy. But what I really think is OOC here is how excitable and obvious he is after Mobius concedes, “Not bad.” And the only thing on their second cafeteria chat is at the very end. His response of “I know” to being called clever, once again has an inflection to it that I would not typically associate with Loki—it’s too pronounced.

◦ Pompeii (beginning of scene only): Loki seems pretty flippant about the whole thing in the immediate moments after their arrival. (As an aside, I don’t think he’s necessarily unsympathetic here; he knows what happens and to keep himself safe and prove his point, he can’t branch the timeline.) To be quite honest, I think he might just be goading Mobius as he’s done to our God of Mischief many a time already.

◦ Before Roxxcart: He seems nervous, and his speech is a bit rushed again. Then again, this is something he wants—to be better. I’d think he’d be a bit more calm about it, though. Then again, with everything that’s happened recently, maybe it’s a natural response?

The reasons why he seems OOC:

◦ It’s on purpose: He knows what they think of him. If he plays into that, even in an exaggerated way, they’re not going to call bs on it.

◦ He’s been through a lot/Not our Loki: Like I mentioned earlier, not only is this a new environment, it’s a new Loki. He’s been shaped differently from our Loki because of how he was immediately thrust into the world of the TVA after many traumatic experiences.

◦ It’s an acting choice: No, it’s not one you have to agree with. But I believe Tom could be doing it to highlight moments where Loki is saying things he personally does not actually believe or that he knows others believe. Just to distinguish from the more calculated lying he does.

So, are there moments when Loki acts OOC? Yes. Is it inexplicable? No. Are the answers to those questions always the same from person to person? No, because like so many things, it’s all about how you frame it. And, of course, every person perceives each moment of time through their own eyes, with their own thoughts, in their own ways.

Loki has plenty of moments in character, too. In fact, I’d say he was overwhelmingly in character, for my understanding of it. In the earlier parts of the Renaissance Fair he is witty and lying with ease. At all other points that I didn’t mention, I found his vocabulary and inflection perfectly fine. I can’t think of any one moment his hand gestures particularly stuck out to me as out of place. And during his impromptu magic lesson, he seemed so sure of himself. He has snark without being rude. His interactions with “the variant” are on point. Even in the majority of the Pompeii scene, he’s not acting OOC, he’s just acting. He wanted to make an over-exaggerated splash to test his theory. Between that and speaking Latin, aren’t we seeing his cunning and wit?

Well, with that divisive and slightly negative topic out of the way, let’s move onto Mobius, his character, and his role in the show. He’s a bit different than the Mobius we see last time. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still moments where he seems to be manipulating Loki, or at least attempting to (the walk to the elevator; dangling a meeting with the Time Keepers in front of Loki’s face). In episode two, he’s presented as a victim. Mobius is just as much a slave to the “sacred timeline” as those living in it. He can’t go into the world and do the things he wants to do. Even any questions about time that Loki has, he answers seemingly by rote (perhaps drilled into his brain through propaganda?) or he can’t explain well (note, two times he somewhat hesitantly deems what Loki says as “an oversimplification”).

We’re also told that Mobius has a soft spot for broken things. That seems like a bold thing to say if Mobius hasn’t done something big before. Has he possibly ever used a variant like this before? Could he even possibly have a deeper connection to the rouge variant? Probably not on that second one, but it’s not wholly impossible. Though, going back to “has he done this before?” (and get ready for me to get absolutely insane now) do the rings on the table have deeper symbolic meaning pertaining to this? Yes, it could have just been for comedy, it may have just been a cool shot, but why put so much focus and emphasis on it like that with the camera and dialogue if it has no significance. Basically what I mean is, it’s symbolic of Mobius messing up. He messed up Renslayer’s table, maybe he botched a mission. Or maybe he even screwed up when working with another variant. Regardless of whether that’s symbolism, we do see him have a soft spot for the people at the hurricane shelter.

Mobius’s role in episode 1 was trying to break down Loki and recruit him. In this episode, he was more of a guide, more of a friend. Yes, there are lines like at Roxxcart when he says he knows he can’t be trusted, but there’s also a lot of camaraderie between the two. By the time Loki and Mobius are having their second chat in the cafeteria, they seem familiar with each other, engaging in what seems to be a friendly bout of verbal sparring. They seem, at very least, fond of each other, and I believe Mobius is, to some extent, on Loki’s side.

In fact, Mobius and Loki share something in common; they want something more than what the time keepers have preordained for them, even if Loki is more ready to admit that. Mobius is still, however, playing the part he’s been assigned, his “glorious purpose.” And, yes that includes some digs like that at Loki, whether Loki’s in the room or not, and whether they’re subtle or not. Is “I’ll delete him myself. He’s really arrogant.” really a dig though? I mean, it sounds like he could just be saying what Renslayer wants to hear. And when he talks about Loki wanting something more, wanting to change, I don’t think he’s actually talking about Loki. With the inflection and stage whisper, it almost sounds like he’s projecting. Remind you of anyone? Mobius will likely end up helping Loki, or may even turn into a tragic hero, his fatal flaw being his unwillingness to admit the TVA is not infallible.

The TVA workers. Isn’t odd how some of them have names and others don’t? Do they name themselves? More likely, I think whoever is in charge of a branch of the TVA gets a name, and all underlings get the less than human mix of letters and numbers with which to identify themselves. It also seems that the people with the most personality are the ones with names. B-15 has a personality, sure, but it’s more just in line with “I work for the TVA. This is what they want. I will do exactly that.” It’s almost lacking something that the named characters have lying beneath the surface of their character arc.

And then she gets enchanted, and if Wunmi Mosaku wasn’t already shining with the limited story for the character, oh boy she is now. When B-15 comes to, she is scared. It’s on her face and in that little shuddered breath. And when asked what happened, she seemed so unsure, timid. I’m definitely interested to see how that progresses!

Back to the workers in general, they didn’t seem as sad about their coworkers this episode as in the last. Even with C-20 it seemed to be a respect thing. I mean, they reset the timeline with their colleagues lying dead on the floor. I think in a lot of scenarios, dead soldiers would be given a proper burial.

Ravonna Renslayer and the time keepers. Renslayer is even more steadfastly devoted to the sacred timeline and the time keepers than anyone else. Why? Well, I think it’s because she is the time keepers. Any time they’re brought up, it’s quickly explained away with a simple “they’re busy.” That’s because they’re not real. But Renslayer sure seems chummy with them, huh? What other reason then its her timeline she has everyone protecting.

Then again, she may only be second in command, but not to the time keepers. (I mean, omniscient and omnipotent beings who are relatively aloof and unreachable? They’re perfectly set up to be revealed as not real. Plus the constant non-answers when it comes to them, I’ll be more surprised if they’re real than if they’re not.) But in the comics, her plot line is interwoven with that of Kang the Conqueror, a time traveler, among many other things. Even more likely than her being in charge, is him being in charge.

And now for the variant. It’s not Lady Loki, we all know that right? Ok, that comes off a bit harsh, but she is listed as Sylvie in the credits for languages other than English. This was also who Sophia Di Martino was previously listed as on IMDb. I won’t get into her story in the comics now, but I’d bet we’ll take elements of that in her story in the series. And if you’re still not convinced that’s who this is, why have her blonde? It just doesn’t make sense to change that about her. Plus, Sylvie takes on the name of Enchantress. What does Loki say her powers are? Enchantments. She doesn’t want to be called Loki either. She does say the main Loki variant is her, but if she’s framing him or taking on his persona for her crimes, why stop now? Her language is distinctly un-Loki like, too. She also boldly declares “This isn’t about you.” And finally, there’s the foreshadowing in Loki’s line, “I would never treat me like this.”

I only wonder what her motives are. Is she looking for revenge on the Loki from her timeline? Or perhaps she’s working fo him? Maybe he’s dead and she’s avenging him? Or he’s alive and she wants to grab his attention? Maybe she has motives all her own. And what of Mephisto? Does he actually play a part in this? I’m just spitballing, I need more information.

When Loki finds the file. No. Like. Give a detailed description of this please!!!!! He thinks he’s evil. That he causes all that death with malicious intent. Even if he doesn’t, there’s clear pain over the destruction of Asgard. And look at his eyes, the only thing we’re shown as he process the information fully for the first time. He’s hurt, confused. Disappointed and angry with himself. The bit we’re shown of his face before it zooms in on his eyes portrays this too. He looks so lost in that shot. And he looks to be tearing up a bit.

Maybe I’m just being dumb, but what does it mean 9,719 casualties? Didn’t they all escape? His face as the scene zooms back out is... defeated. Scared. Scarred. He’s barely holding it together. Then something else catches his eye, giving him an idea. And I’m sure more than anything he wants to be distracted from the storm in his mind. So yeah, he’ll happily throw himself into his work. The epiphany on his face as he’s still recovering and discovering new things is just so perfect too.

The confrontation at Roxxcart. This was really well done, I felt. Loki felt in character, and he was fighting smartly, using what he could. Because clearly the enchantment also lent Sylvie’s powers to the person. But Loki manages to hang in there and dig for information while keeping the battle going.

He gets mad, too. He starts yelling. And that makes sense. He wants answers, and for so long he’s been denied them; it’s a recurring theme in his life. He’s losing control of himself a bit here. And that’s a large part of the reason why he goes through the time door. Loki doesn’t want to lose control again. I don’t even know if it was exactly a betrayal of the TVA. I don’t think he’s on their side, but I think he just saw that he couldn’t lose the variant again. Because for what he says his plan is, he wouldn’t have followed the variant. However, he does because he wants answers.

What about that plan though? I’m working a bit in reverse with this scene I realize, but bear with me. That look on his face as he stands, it’s calculating. I think he’s lying about his plan. I think he’s trying to bring the variant in, not work with them.

Also, I’m so concerned for C-20. What’s real? I want to know!! But we’re already getting a feel for Sylvie’s powers. The people she enchants live, but they’ve seen something they’d rather not. What other reason is there for the similar way B-15 and C-20 act? And I know she mentions telling Sylvie the time keeper’s location, but really, it’s their location to her knowledge. It doesn’t necessarily mean they exist. Or maybe it’s just Kang.

And Mobius at the very end of this scene, the very end of the confrontation, the very end of the episode. The last thing is him calling after Loki. And he sounds genuine, almost. It didn’t sound like he was fearful for his own life, but rather more worried for Loki. Though, maybe I have that confused and it’s worried about Loki. Whatever the reason, it sounded like genuine fear in his voice to me.

Finally, some random thoughts that didn’t fit anywhere:

Gugu Mbatha-Raw is so talented. I mean, I got a lot of emotion from Renslayer. Confident and proper at the beginning, panicked and afraid at the end. Even in her talks with Mobius, there’s many subtleties to pick apart. I think it’s heavily implied through her words and actions that she’s evil.

The casual magic use was great. Hope there’s more.

Why do setting off reset charges in the main timeline have a different effect than setting them off in the branch timelines? Like shouldn’t it wipe it, not make branches?

Loved all the rapport happening in the episode. There was a lot of good dialogue.

Despite the manipulations going on, I like the relationship forming between Mobius and Loki. I think they make a nice little duo.

I love all the Loki variants we’re shown. Very, very interesting. Just give us Jötunn Loki for real, please.

Loki was very clever this episode, particularly with figuring out you could hide in an apocalypse and at Roxxcart.

Does Roxxcart have a link to Roxxon?

Their little motto thing is a bit creepy. “For all time. Always.” Sounds like it’s just part of their propaganda.

“You see, I know something children don’t. No one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.” I love this line. Seriosuly, why not use this sound bite in the trailers? Loki himself is morally gray, and I love that we’re addressing this fact of life; the world is not all black and white, not all good and bad.

CASEY!!!

In the second cafeteria scene, there is a guard in full armor just standing there. I guess they’re monitoring the employees. How likely does whoever is in charge think it would be for an uprising of sorts to happen?

Between sleepy Loki, him putting that jacket on, his hair, that talking to himself and that annoyed little shh in the library, and just being the happy goof that he is deep down (Miss Minutes scene and salad metaphor) Loki was just so adorable this episode.

I think it’s important Mobius said sorry when talking about ragnarok. He knows Loki cares.

Mobius does kind of understand Loki when saying he has an “insecure need for validation.” He’s right, honestly, albeit harsh. But that’s all he wanted throughout the Thor movies too, not to be looked down upon. To be treated as equal. As worthy.

Of Mobius’s two options for why he’s sticking his neck out for Loki, I think they both hold some truth.

Interesting how TVA agents like to keep souvenirs from lives they can never live. Though maybe Renslayer keeps them for a different reason. Like from timelines that were particularly a threat to order—her order.

The score is still on point. Loving the theremin.

Wow an explanation pertaining to time travel I’ve found no holes in. It’s unstable and they have to enter in real time (furthest point on the branch) because of that. Ok, yeah. Checks out.

I’m so glad they kept the title card from last week. I like it so much better than the one from the trailers, and it fits the vibe of the show better.

Is it bad I want all these new branches to red line? I think it seems a little too early into the show for that to happen, but maybe a few of them will? Perhaps improbable but not impossible. But think of the chaos! What better playground for the God of Mischief than a universe thrown into disarray.

And now, my final thoughts. A very good episode with a mainly in character Loki. I like how we’re slowly learning more with what’s going on, while still keeping an element of mystery. Though, Marvel’s twists aren’t landing as well as I think they were hoping (assuming I’m right of course. I’ve seen plenty of other people who were thinking along the same lines though, so). It’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoi that Glorious Purpose had, but I still enjoyed it. Overall, 8/10. Let’s just hope my rating doesn’t go down point with every episode.

Like something I said? Totally disagree? Really want to talk more about one point? Whatever it is, I’d love to hear! Reblogs and comments are appreciated. My ask box is always open, and anon is always on. I look forward to hearing your thoughts! Thanks :)

Me, after not liking one, but two episodes:

#this is very long and I apologize #I’m garrulous and go on far too many parenthetical asides #but here are my thoughts however profound they may be #*throws thoughts into the void*#loki analysis #the loki show #the loki show spoilers #the loki series #loki series #the loki series spoilers #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki friggason #no proofing only posting #ik I said this would post on Thursday #and it’s Thursday somewhere #even if it’s not where I am 😂#but I’d like to post sooner rather than later #so here it is ahead of schedule

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agent-bash · 2 years

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I wanted to join this Burzek conversation because I’m already seeing the attack on Gwen. I’ll start off with stating I am not invested in Burzek. My feelings towards them are the same as yours, and I agreed with an old ask response you made about them.

This is how I see it. The reason Burzeks are disappointed and frustrated by their own doing. To me it seems as though they are seeing these scenes and moments differently than how they are being portrayed on the show. The common theme between Kim and Adam for almost 3 seasons now has been this modern family. Two people who have a past and love each other dearly but can’t seem to make it work between them. I see a lot of the fandom saying how they want clarity about where their relationship stands, but to me it’s been shown. They haven’t been linked romantically in a long time. They had a hook up in season 8 that didn’t have deeper meaning for one of them which was made clear in that car scene right after. Right now, they are two people who love each other but haven’t been able to make it work as a couple but as this family they work.

I’m not saying this is it for them because I don’t see that either. I have no idea where they are going which is the suspense that was built for this couple. Some couples are the will they won’t they, but for Burzek it’s the will they ever be able to figure it out suspense. But to me they are not currently looking for a relationship together. I can’t see how this works out in the end, but for the last season and now this season their focus is on their family (Makayla) and not a relationship. I feel like the love they have for each other and being shown in the scenes are not showing the in love their fandom is wanting and hoping to see which is leading to the disappointment and frustration. I think Gwen and Rick have done a great job bringing them back from what happened to them in seasons 1-4. In the earlier season they never developed them consistently. 7-9 has been the most consistent writing the couple has had. The problem is it’s not what some fans want to see for them right now. They want them together now and that’s that. Time doesn’t make a couple work. They have a lot to work through and I think Gwen and Rick have written this progression well. I just think the fandom is confusing what they want to see to what is being shown and taking it out other people and things.

Right now I want to see what’s going to come from this Makayla storyline which involves both of them.

Whoa, this is a long one Nonny. But I like it. I’m going to put all my stuff under the cut, but purely because of length.

So I do want to jump to the defence a little here to start off. I know plenty of Burzek shippers who were more than satisfied with the episode. They’re positive and hopeful for the future of their ship for the first time in a while. Are there maybe rose coloured glasses on for some? Sure, that’s not uncommon. But mostly what I’ve seen, is just people being excited and sharing their positivity and there’s nothing wrong with that. They’re not expecting some of the things they’re posting or tweeting about to actually happen anytime soon. It’s excited exaggeration. We all do it. Most of them have their expectations managed. But let them be happy and have their fun. Don’t read so much into it, especially if you know the source and how they are. And of course we know the loud, negative, minority exists too.

I agree with you in that Kim and Adam have both made their feelings clear. And that people seem to lay the “blame” for them not being together on Kim being “wishy-washy,” and leading Adam on. All the while Adam is a perfect little angel who’s being used. I would argue these people are Adam stans more than they are Burzek fans. Adam knows Kim’s feeling and is choosing to do things on her terms, because he wants to be with her. He is, they are, adults making a fully informed decision in that regard.

That doesn’t mean it isn’t frustrating.

The back and forth is frustrating. Even if it is in line with what’s been expressed by one of the characters as their want. Because it’s asks asks the question: why?

Why doesn’t Kim want this to become an “actual” (there might be a better word I just can’t think of it) relationship again?

Why won’t she take that step?

Why is she happy with things the way they are?

Why?

Look I don’t think Eid was the devil some make him out to be. I dont think the why is as simple as ’he doesn’t like Burzek, so…’ If that were the case he would have put the nail in the coffin years ago. And probably by killing one of them off. So 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ bright side? But you do have to admit the why is not a question that either of them (though I mean we do have to give Gwen a chance, it’s only been one episode)has answered. Not satisfactorily. I think that needs to be explored. Especially if Burzek are going to “actually” get back together.

#Asked and answered #Chicago PD Spoilers

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Doppelganger" *Part 8*

Okay ladies and gents, this is where I'd say you really need to have read Black Magic to understand this chapter. You can read it here.

Or, y'know I guess just accept that magic is real in this universe. Whatever. STILL READ IT. YOU WON'T REGRET IT I PROMISE.

If you read this last night, I did rewrite it and reuploaded it. Don't freak out, it's better now I swear.

I did make this signifantly longer though, but I won't lie to you kids-- it's not good. Angst wise, not plot wise. 😉

ENJOYYYYYYY!!!!

Part 7

Part 9

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

---------------

The next day Rafael decided he needed help, and if he couldn’t go to the squad, he only had one choice.

"....WHAT?!" Chloe screeched after Rafael told her the whole story after meeting up for coffee.

"I know, it's insane I just--" Rafael shook his head.

"I have so many questions. So many--" she started.

"Look I just wanted advice, and maybe …" he trailed off looking in the distance.

"Maybe what….?" She looked at him suspiciously.

"Supernatural help?" He sipped his coffee.

"Oh good God like what? Do you think that's what he used on YN?" Chloe sipped her tea.

"No doesn't need to, he can imitate me perfectly. I'm pretty sure it was just your standard date rape drug." The words made Rafael's fist clench and his lip curl at the thought of Nevada using date rape drugs on you.

"We have to get her out of there, Chloe. We have to," His voice trembled in fear for you.

"Well no shit Sherlock" Chloe pointed out. "You sure it's not the mind control stuff Liv used on you?"

"Liv didn't use mind control potions. She just used an ultra unhealthy amount of love potion. Although I wouldn't put it past her to get some more potions,” Rafael rolled his eyes.

Nearby Alex was listening in on the conversation, since Rafael knew what Javi looked like now. He listened to the rest of your conversation, then bolted before the two of you noticed him.

-----

“Magic potion?" Nevada laughed. are you fucking kidding me?! Dime qué tienen been smoking?!”

"I don't know Vada, he seemed pretty sure about it. And I mean look at the two of you, you're identical and there's no explanation for that. So I don't know, anything might be possible." Alex shrugged. "He said it's how they got together. Some chick named Olivia tried to tear them apart but their "true love" prevailed"."

"Oh , these two are even more fucking pathetic than I thought.” Nevada scoffed. “What do they live in, a fucking Disney movie?" He shook his head, but then had an idea.

"…. Seems like we might have to check with this Olivia," He smiled evilly.

--------

"Rafael" showed up to the squad room to talk to Olivia the very next day.

“Hey Liv” He nodded at her with a sly smile.

"Rafa!" Liv exclaimed. She was excited but nervous to see him. Mostly because she hadn't seen him since the whole 'wedding; debacle.

"Liv, I need you to tell me where you got your mind serum,” “Rafael” told her straight out. Olivia was shocked he was so flippant about it, and being so loud.

".... It wasn't mind serum Rafa it was love serum and-- wait why do you need it?" She looked around nervously, then quickly realized something must have gone wrong with the two of you.

"I think I'll be asking the questions here Liv, you're the one that fucked with me first." “Rafael” crossed his arms.

"You know if you need to control YN with potions, it may not be worth it Rafa.” Olivia told him softly, touching his hand. “I love you just the way you are...." She put a hand to his chest and gave him a sweet smile.

"Why do you think I'm asking? She's getting too wishy washy for me, I just want her to forget about us." Rafael put a hand to her face. "Just tell me where you got it, and we can be together."

"Ok!!" Not questioning it, Olivia started to text the address to Rafael's phone.

"No, I need you to write it down for me." “Rafael” grabbed a notepad and pen from off her desk.

"Why…?" Olivia raised an eyebrow at him.

"....So if my boss decides to do a random sweep of my phone he doesn't think I'm insane, Liv." He replied in a “duh” tone.

"...He can do that?" Oliva’s mouth dropped open.

"...The government can do a lot of things, Liv. Don’t trust them,” “Rafael” sneered. Sure Olivia should have taken that as a red flag, but she was so happy she might get her happy ending with Rafael she didn’t care.

"Right…." She wrote the address down and slipped it to "Rafael".

"Thanks babe," he grabbed Olivia in a giant kiss. Then he strutted out of the office leaving her with a huge smile.

----------

Not even a few hours later, Nevada took the address to an old antique shop. He walked in to see an old woman cleaning an ancient looking broach.

“An old antique shop, bruja? Were you going for totally predictable, or are you just lazy with fronts?”

The woman stopped cleaning and glared at him. “And who the hell are you?”

“Let’s just say I’m a friend of Olivia’s.” He smirked. “And as such, I’m going to need a favor…”

“Oh great are you a cop too?” She sighed.

“....You could say that.” He chuckled.

“So what do you need?” She looked at him skeptically.

“I need a...mind control potion,” Nevada felt like an idiot saying it out loud, but the old woman’s face verifying that such a thing existed made him feel better.

“You people and your God complexes…” She rolled her eyes before disappearing into the back. After a few minutes she came back with an orange liquid in a vial.

“Think of the name of the person you want this to control, and then once they drink this, whatever you think, they’ll do.”

“....Really?” Nevada gave her a sarcastic laugh.

“Oh you doubt my majeria, pendejo?” She snarled. “Then why are you here?”

“Lo siento, señora,” He quickly apologized. “Gracias,” He nodded to the potion and sauntered out of the shop.

--------

The next day Nevada texted Rafael to meet him in a warehouse on his side or town. Rafael immediately went to Chloe’s apartment for advice on what to do, since he didn’t have anyone else.

"This could be a trap." Chloe warned him.

"Of course it could be a trap but what choice do I have?!" Rafael argued.

"Ok but I'm coming," She insisted.

"Oh no you're not" Rafael shook his head.

"I'll stay out of sight, okay dad?” Chloe rolled her eyes.

"No, I don’t like it.” He protested while ignoring the 'dad' comment. “If something goes sideways in there I can’t protect the both of you,”

"I don't care if you like it, she's my best friend so you can suck it up," She crossed her arms. “And I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself,”

“....What’s the chances of me talking you out of this?” He sighed.

“....Ehhhh slim to none,” She smiled.

“Fine, but you��re staying outside,” He warned her as they headed to the address.

------

Rafael and Chloe went to the address, it was a giant warehouse. Rafael went inside, ready for anything. The place was pitch black so he couldn't really see anything.

"Nevada?" He called into the darkness. Suddenly one light in the middle of the warehouse lit up. He walked closer to find you lying there unconscious.

"YN!!!" He screamed, running over and waking you up.

“...What? What happened?” You stirred awake, totally disoriented. Nevada must have knocked you out again.

"Baby! it's me," He picked you up in his arms, holding you so tightly you thought you'd stop breathing. "He let you go, I can't believe it," He was crying now, he was so happy.

"...What? That makes ZERO sense," you pushed him away, looking at him angrily. "....Wait no no, it does make perfect sense-- you're Nevada!"

"What?" Rafael looked at you in shock. "... I'm not Nevada, I'm Rafael, YN! It's me!"

"Okay look I get it,” You crossed your arms. “You can’t just keep me drugged up all the time, and you need new and innovative ways to "be" Rafael-- but this is just cruel,”

“Baby it's me I-- it's me! it's Rafael,” He put his hands on either side of your face, staring intently into them. You wanted to believe him so badly, but all you could think about was the first time this happened. How perfectly Nevada had played Rafael, even down to the look in his eyes. That’s all you saw now, an act. A façade.

“....You've done a hell of a job researching him and perfecting his moves Nevada, but I'm not going to fall for it and I'm not going to keep hurting Rafa,” You pushed him away further, crossing your arms tighter so that he couldn’t get a free show of your exposed breasts in the barely there clothes he dressed you in.

Rafael stared at you in shock and disbelief, how much did he fuck with your mind? How could this be happening?

“....It's me. How else am I--- what can I do to prove to you that it's me? Y/N how can you not see it in my eyes? Look at me!” He grabbed your hands and searched your eyes for some kind of recognition, some kind of feeling.

“Yeah okay it's ‘you’. You are going to save me, and then we're going to go to some ‘safe location’ right? And then we’ll celebrate being ‘back together’ by having some amazing sex. And it’ll be wonderful and amazing, and I’ll cry and tell you how much I love you and missed you, and then you're going to be like ‘hahaha I got you again!’ I’m Not falling for it” Tears came to your eyes as you thought about all the times he had tricked you, and how much it had hurt Rafael every time. You couldn’t get the heartbreak in his eyes out of your brain.

“....God, this is exactly what he wanted…” Rafael muttered. “Carino, it's me I swear to God you have to believe me-- Look I brought Chloe!” He gestured to Chloe who came running over to the two of you.

“...Oh my God, Chloe?” Your eyes widened in seeing your best friend for the first time in days. Usually you two were attached at the hip. He brought Chloe-- Nevada didn’t know about Chloe, did he?

“....Remember the penguins? I proposed to you with the penguins, and-- and I told you that it was my favorite place in New York, and I did that nutty musical number? I worked on that for WEEKS!!! Would Nevada know that?” You heard Rafael talking while you looked from Chloe to him. You took his head in your hands, searching his eyes. They were full of tears, searching your own eyes for the same thing. Love.

“....Rafa?” You whispered, wiping the tears from his cheeks. He took your hand and kissed the side of it.

“It’s me,” He pressed his lips to your forehead. “It’s me, mi amor,”

You grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. You could feel the difference now, between his mouth and Nevada’s. Rafael kissed you in such a loving, beautiful way. Nevada groped your mouth like a hungry shark. You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him several times on the neck, not getting enough of him. He ran his fingers through your hair as his lips did the same to your face and neck.

Suddenly, a lone clap came from behind you.

“Awwww. No es tan dulce?” Nevada came stepping out of the shadows. “The two lovers, finally reunited. Es tan hermoso,” He wiped away a non-existent tear.

“....What the hell …?” Rafael asked while he helped you both stand up, Rafael stood in front of you protectively.

“Well I had to get some ‘inside’ information didn’t I, cabron? I can’t have you feeding her information only ‘you’ would know to try and break a spell, ¿Correcto??” Nevada crossed his arms as several men came out of the shadows all around you.

“....Spell?” You blinked, trying to play dumb. How did he know about magic?

“Oh shit…” You heard Chloe whisper as she and Rafael exchanged a guilty look. They really should have thought about having that conversation in private.

“I visited your friend, Olivia. She told me where I could find some very interesting...concoctions,” Nevada smirked as he held up an orange vial.

“What? No...no no no!!!!” Rafael’s head darted back and forth as Nevada’s goons inched towards you. Two of them pulled out pistols and aimed them right at him while two more walked up and grabbed you, dragging you away from Rafael.

“No...No! RAFAEL!!!” You screamed, trying to get away from them. He tried to run to you, but two more grabbed him by the arms and put him on his knees.

“...I don't know what the hell it is but don't you dare give her anything else!!!” Rafael yelled as the two men that had you dragged you over to Nevada.

“Oh okay, well just because you said that SO nicely, abogado,” Nevada nodded sarcastically as he grabbed your face.

“Now, open up baby. I know you can swallow,” He smirked while looking between the two of you. You shook your head violently, but Nevada gripped your nose between his fingers preventing you from breathing. You held out as long as you could, but you finally had to gasp for air. As soon as you did so, Nevada poured the orange liquid down your throat. After a few moments, your irises flashed a deep orange.

“....Vada,” You looked at Nevada with dreamy eyes as Rafael stared in horror.

“Finalmente I can stop wearing those God awful trajes,” Nevada grinned, stroking your cheek softly before looking at Rafael.

“And y’know, your girlfriend Olivia really should have just opted for this mind control potion, it works so much more efficiently. Pero, if I had just made your little puta in love with me, I couldn’t get her to do this,” He turned to you. “Baby, go take care of that hijo de puta, para mi,”

“Anything for you, papi,” You nodded with a smile, then turned to Rafael with a deep raging fire in your eyes.

“Let’s dance abogado,” You growled.

“No! No, Y/N you can't do this! I'm not going to hurt you,” He pleaded with you.

“Well that sucks for you,” You lunged for him, but he grabbed you by your arms. “

“Hey no no no, look at me!” He forced you to look at him. “Remember the penguins? I took you to see the penguins and I--"

Nevada closed his eyes and changed your memory with his.

”Nevada took me to penguins and that's how we got engaged, you lying piece of shit!!!” You yelled at him.

“….Fuck that’s what he meant. Now he’s used that against me,” Rafael grunted in frustration as you wriggled in his arms. “Y/N you have to believe me you love me, not Nevada. You love me!!”

“No, I DON’T!!!!” You broke free and started to punch him, but he threw you to the ground.

“...You're going to regret that,” You sneered, getting back up.

“I already do!” Rafael began to cry. He didn't want to hurt you, but he had no other choice.

“Alright, break it up,” Chloe stepped in trying to reason with you.

“And who are you? His bitch?” You snarked at her.

“Oh God now what? I'm your best friend, Chloe! We’ve been friends since you moved to the city! forever I helped you get Rafael, remember? All the hijinks we had to go through? Y/N you're my best friend come on, remember!”

“....I don't know what the hell you're talking about bitch, but if you’re against Nevada, you’re against me!” You lunged for Chloe. Unfortunately for you, Chloe had no qualms about kicking your ass. She punched you, making you go down.

“Chloe what the fuck are you doing?!” Rafael yelled angrily at her.

“Wha-- she was trying to kick my ass!” Chloe defended herself.

Well as much as I enjoy this, I'm going to need a status on that transfer, Barba,” Nevada stepped in and helped you to your feet. You started to lunge for Chloe again but Nevada held you back.

“Down girl, you’ll get her next time,” He pulled on the collar of your dress like heeling a dog. You straightened up and walked into his arms. He draped one of them around you as he smiled triumphantly at Chloe and Rafael.

“Well if you would let me work instead of fucking with my emotions and fucking with my fiancé's head I might have some time to do it, tarado!” Rafael barked while glaring at the two of you. “Why are you even doing this, don't you want me to fight for her?”

“Yeah I thought about that,” He nodded, moving his arms around your waist and pulling you back into his chest as you smirked at Rafael.

“And having her on my side actually works out better for me, because you can't hurt me if I have her as my guard dog,” He chuckled, pulling you to face him as he gave you a hungry kiss.

“I swear to God, Nevada… I'll….” Rafael started to charge Nevada, seeing you all over him in person was ten times worse than having to witness it over a face call.

“You'll what?” Nevada challenged him with a laugh. "You gonna call your cop friends on your 'true love?!'” He air quoted true love with a mocking sneer.

“That's right she is my true love; and our love has beat stronger things than your manipulation or mind potions,” He spat as Nevada’s goons began to surround him again in case he tried anything.

"Oh I very much doubt that." He smiled wickedly as he looked into your eyes. "Go on baby, tell him why you chose me" He nodded at Rafael. You nodded back and stepped towards Rafael with hatred in your orange eyes. Nevada thought of the perfect speech to really destroy him.

"Nevada is a real man Barba, he's pleasured me in ways you can't even think of. Our love was fake, you just kept me under your own spell. Nothing we had was actually real, and you're just gonna have to get over this obsession you have with me." You crossed your arms and spoke with absolute disdain.

"No….." Rafael's eyes filled with tears more and more after every word you spoke. "No!" He grabbed you and pulled you towards him. Nevada’s goons started to go after him but Vada put a hand up.

"Ah ah ah, señores. This will be more fun," He grinned.

"Baby come on, look he's...he’s just going to let you go!” Rafael tried to get you to go with him.

"Please, carino…." He put both hands on your face but all he could see was orange in your irises. Now he knew how you must have felt at the church when he didn't remember you. But then he remembered how the real him was deep down inside, screaming to get out. You had to be there too.

“....Rafa…?” Your head began to pound, the orange in your eyes began to flicker as the real you tried to break through.

“Yes, yes Y/N Baby it’s me!” A small hopeful smile crawled across his lips. He started speaking as fast as he could to draw you out more.

"....Carino, remember you told me about your parents, and I told you about my dad, and-- We beat Liv, we've prevailed over anything that tries to tear us apart. And I know you are in there, because I know I was in my body too. Please baby please, oh god please, YN you have to remember!” He pressed his forehead to yours as he begged you with whimpers and tears.

“Baby…”? You bit your lip as you tried like hell to fight the potion. Rafael rubbed your cheeks with his thumbs.

“....If you go back to him now--I'll lose you forever. He’ll just keep using you against me, and I won’t hurt you!” He hugged you tightly, your arms slowly raised to hug him back. Nevada saw what was unfolding and quickly thought to himself “NO. YOU’RE MINE. HURT HIM.”

Suddenly the orange flared in your eyes once again, and you pushed him away from you.

“Well that's really unfortunate for you, douchebag. Because I can,” You took one swift kick to his stomach and he fell over to the ground

“Ohhhhh shit!!!!!” Nevada clapped his hands together happily.

"That was even more delicious than I could have imagined, this magic thing is the best. Thanks for the tip, bruja,” Nevada nodded at Chloe who just glared at him as she helped Rafael up on his feet.

"This isn't over," he growled.

"You're right, you still need to get me those transfers" Nevada reminded him. “....And I think that red head will help you out, I may have 'made up' with her for you," He added with a wink.

“Oh for fucks sake…” Rafael groaned. Now he had lost you and he'd have to break Liv’s heart all over again.

“Now I'd leave before I set my queen loose on you," Nevada cackled.

“Let's go Rafa, we'll figure something out,” Chloe pulled him away from you and out of the warehouse.

Rafael knew you were in there, he just knew it. He was going to get you back somehow.

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanficton #nevada ramirez fanfiction #nevada ramirez #nevada ramirez x you #nevada ramirez x reader #trouble in the heights #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #doppelganger

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tabriscadash · 3 years

Text

I was asked this on my old blog right as I set about transitioning to this one, so...

The first character I ever fell in love with: for DA:O, dare I say Daveth? What can I say -- I irrationally got incredibly attached to him. otherwise, DEFINITELY Morrigan, and I have crystal clear memories of my first run through Lothering and looking at Morrigan like 😍 the whole time. For DA:2/E, Carver -- unless you count Anders & Justice since I knew of them from Awakening beforehand, in which case probably Justice. For DA:I, it’s a toss-up between Vivienne or Cole -- I technically liked Cole first but SPECIFICALLY in the supporting material (Asunder), and didn’t vibe with him anywhere near as much in the game, AND I got him as a companion after I got Vivienne, so probably Vivienne.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I guess Oghren? I never loved him, but I liked the idea of him because I really liked the dwarves/Orzammar side of DA’s worldbuilding -- but he’s such an unlikeable character that I just.. don’t vibe with him at all. I debate recruiting him every single time now, and I don’t think I ever do his personal quest (in the base game OR Awakening). for DA:2/E, I don’t really have anyone that fits -- but I REALLY wanted to like Merrill and Aveline more than I did, and especially in Aveline’s case, I can’t stand her and genuinely think she’s the unintended, secret Big Bad of the whole game. for DA:I, probably Cole, bc I was really into the idea of a little walking-corpse serial killer animated by a spirit as per the book, but that’s not really the vibe in DA:I, and combined with the somewhat patronising/ableist language and how significantly he is infantilised (including by the fandom) I just got put off him. I do still like him, but not as much.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I don’t really have one? I guess see my DA:I answer, lol... for DA:2/E, has to be Anders - I don’t think he’s OOC in 2, but I think his writing does so little with him and he feels v. reductive. Where his relationship could be SO interesting and angsty, it instead is written in a really dull and/or cringey way. It would have been nice to see Anders more like the Anders of Awakening near the beginning of the game (rather than random, infrequent and questionably rare snippets), and then see the progression of his relationship with Justice as the game went on -- I want more interesting abominations, PLEASE. for DA:I, listen I cannot express to you HOW EXCITED I was for my planned Lavellan to romance Sera… also I used to be way more tolerant of Cullen x Amell/Surana ships because, like, hey dark ships are fun, right? But since Cullen’s ~wholesome whitewash~ in DA:I, and his fandom clamouring to absolve him of any wrongdoing ever.. it’s boring to me.

My ultimate favourite character™: for DA:O, probably Sten? or Morrigan. They’re both fantastic, and also are significant comfort chars for me. for DA:2/3, honestly, probably my own Hawke -- I feel so hugely proud of her, and can’t imagine I’d enjoy the game anywhere near as much had I not played it as my Hawke. If not her, maybe Sebastian or Carver? for DA:I, I really love Vivienne, as well as Blackwall, and Solas is a great character even if I probably would not say I liked him.

Prettiest character: for DA:O, we all know it’s Zevran. for DA:2/E, I think Aveline -- although her aggressively bland colour-scheme lets her down in a major way (although I respect her dedication to all orange all day every day). There’s just something about her arms -- very Abby from TLOU:2. for DA:I, maybe Josephine? Ser Barris is very pretty, too...

My most hated character: for DA:O, I really didn’t like Alistair, Wynne and Oghren, and of my companions - Oghren is probably my least favourite. He’s vulgar and also profoundly uninteresting. for DA:2/E, it has to be Aveline. There’s just something about ineptitude and a complete, wilful refusal to take accountability for your actions that I can’t stand. It would be okay if it was an intentional character flaw, but the game/narrative treats her like she’s lawful good and it really annoys me. for DA:I, maybe Iron Bull? He was a huge disappointment for me. I also really dislike Sera, Cassandra, and Varric. I’m so sick of Varric - I never want to see him again.

My OTP: for DA:O, I really loved Zevran’s romance -- but I am also very amused by the fact that Leliana got to ‘love’ status with Kallian accidentally, AND I got the ‘love’ glitch for Justice (👀) and Velanna. I do sometimes wonder about an AU where Kallian is forced to make a politically expedient marriage with Nathaniel Howe for diplomatic reasons in order to consolidate her position as Arlessa, and it being an entirely platonic arrangement (it’s not like anyone expects an heir from an infertile Grey Warden) -- and maybe Zev and Nate kiss sometimes, who knows? I also LOVE my Darkspawn Chronicles AU where Kallian and Nelaros are a happy, married couple each hiding their skills with weapons from each other like dumb, cute sweethearts. They shelter Zevran when he fails to kill Alistair and a poly couple evolves. for DA:2/E, I love the IDEA of a Seb romance that isn’t so strictly conditional around the structures that abused him -- he should be allowed to love, chastely or otherwise, but free from the Chantry OR his position as prince/heir. I’d LOVE to actually have a romance with him where you can actually challenge the abuse he’s experienced. for DA:I, Malika doesn’t have a canon romance (although I think when I replay, I’m going to romance Josephine!) but I think Blackwall has an amazing romance. Solas’ is also iconic, it must be said.

My NOTP: for DA:O, I really dislike Alistair in a shipping capacity; he’s immature and says a lot of misogynistic shit and I don’t think he’s the worst for it, but I don’t really vibe with shipping him, having played the game as a female city elf. for DA:2/E, I wouldn’t say I have one, particularly? although I really dislike Aveline’s relationship with her husband simply because it seems incredibly inappropriate, given that they work together and she has power over him -- and because I dislike her, generally, I don’t feel inclined to do something nice for her. for DA:I, I suppose Sera/Lavellan -- although I’m not AGAINST it, it just really isn’t for me, having attempted it. I also don’t really vibe with Dorian x Iron Bull. Something abt the way the game handled BDSM and their relationship banter specifically I don’t really like.

Favourite episode quest: for DA:O, probs Orzammar/the Deep Roads. I really love the dwarven lore! and, of course, Fort Drakon is really funny, even though it’s not canon in my game iirc. for DA:2/E, maybe the murder mystery with the serial killer, where ultimately Leandra dies? I also really enjoyed all the companion quests. for DA:I, The Descent (just, all of it, lmao) and everything to do with the Avvar. Crestwood also BANGED.

Saddest death: for DA:O, it’s frankly a fucking INJUSTICE that Shianni gets murdered if you make her Bann of the Alienage -- the idea of that happening whilst Kallian is in Amaranthine and unable to protect her :( genuinely very upsetting. I go back and forth on who is made Bann, tbf, so idk how canonical it is: I think maybe Cyrion would get it, but I’m also endeared to Soris holding the position, with Shianni as Hahren. for DA:2/E, Bethany. I wish both twins had had the chance to reach Kirkwall :(. Let Leandra die instead. for DA:I, maybe not the saddest death, but the most memorable for me was that one sleeping dragon in the Hissing Wastes.. leave her alone. Stay out of a womans’ business.

Favourite season game: DA:O!

Least favourite season game: DA:I.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but I hate: for DA:O, Alistair. I cannot deal with his complacency and hypocrisy. for DA:2, I really disliked Merrill but I honestly cannot remember why. DEFINITELY Varric -- I hated how the game forces you to be his best friend, and if you’re low approval, you have to endure these pointless pissy little comments with this little anti-dwarf centrist pissant. After the expedition, I literally have no reason to put up with him, and I NEVER take him out. I hate that he plays the same role in DA:I, too. for DA:I, the Iron Bull was hugely disappointing, and I also really don’t vibe with Cassandra. She just seems very wishy-washy and complacent and hypocritical, and many of her comments about other cultures seem snide for literally no reason other than bigotry.

My ‘you’re a piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: for DA:O, lbr probably Sten. Mans is gonna launch a HORRIFYING invasion in the next game iirc and frankly, I’m ok with it. Just wanna see that big bastard again ❤🥵. for DA:2/E, I LOVE Gamlen, ok? for DA:I, I am not sure if I have one.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: for DA:O, if any of you so much as LOOK at Velanna wrong, it’s hands. That includes Bioware. I also feel incredibly protective of and sad for Morrigan. for DA:2/E, probably Sebastian -- I feel so sad for him, and so frustrated by the limitations with the game. for DA:I, I’m honestly not sure.. maybe Josephine? I don’t really feel this way about Sera, but I do think she deserves better from the game and its writing, and also from fandom: there are valid criticisms of her, but the hate she gets is not proportional to any valid issues with her -- and gee, I wonder why that is.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: for DA:O, I did use to find Cullen x Surana/Amell intriguing as a dark ship -- I actually hc that Neria Surana is actually Nelaros’ sister, and have dabbled with it as a dark ship. I also am interested in Loghain/Alistair - which each pretends the other is someone else. Alistair is wooby, hate ships are, in general, fun -- so long as we acknowledge that they are, indeed, unhealthy ships. for DA:2/E, I kind of feel like Sebastian romances are, invariably, kind of dark... and, similarly, Anders romances -- especially with certain red Hawkes, The way it ends is, invariably, bordering on fucked up. ALSO Hawkecest is weird and wonderful: GET WITH IT.

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and I lowkey ship them, but I’m not too invested’ ship: for DA:O, I joked about Velanna x Leliana once and I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it ever since… Velanna x Sigrun is also something that can be so personal. Ariane x Finn is adorable and are paid DUST by Bioware AND fandom. I actually am really into Anora x Nathaniel & NO I will NOT explain myself; it’s a crackship but it’s MY crackship. for DA:2/E, Isabela x Fenris is super cute, but I don’t pay enough attention to them to really have super committed thoughts & feelings on them. for DA:I, Blackwall x Josephine is cute as a background ship; I also think Maryden x Cole is sweet.

#meta #mun

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manjuhitorie · 3 years

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Hitorie Interview - Skream! Magazine - Feb. 2021 Issue

First and foremost, I'd like to address REAMP as a whole. I couldn't help but pick up on signs inner turmoil and sorrow over wowaka's unfortunate passing, among a brand new resolve. What's your opinion on this such take?

Shinoda: We voluntarily chose to vent those feelings without any beating around the bush. This band has taken a huge twist in terms of the one who sings, writes, and produces the music, after all. There’s no point in hiding that, we felt. To be completely honest, even after all this time we still haven’t exactly regained our balance at all. Sad is sad. In order to express our choice to push onwards, the cards we had in our hands are.... -Actually the word “cards” was a poor choice. We merely had no other option but to express our feelings outright. ygarshy: We weren’t in the place to put together a theme or concept for the album or anything like that either. We felt baffled and confused by the very fact that we were making songs at all, but nevertheless I felt we had to do it, we just have to. We were wishy-washy so, we decided to hold the times we 4 made songs together close to our hearts, and use that as our foothold: to just try and write as we always do. Shinoda: Squeezing a song out was our one and only objective. Yumao: Yeah. The universe wowaka alone had created and his structures and all that.. To be honest, this new album is cut off from it... We chose to not agonize over trying to recreate it, and to rather let whatever we could just flow out of us.

I have a question about the timeline. After wowaka’s passing, when did you make the concrete decision to keep Hitorie alive?

Shinoda: To be real, we still haven’t even made that decision. Yumao: We haven’t concretely said “Let’s keep this up.” or anything. Our mixed emotions are still churning, or how to say it... When we wrote the music we become immersed and even excited about it but, once our songs were laid out on the table we came back to our senses, like “Uhm? Is this okay?” ygarshy: Even now I’ll have sudden thoughts like “Hm? What am I doing here?”, even when we toured as a trio for the Hitori-Escape Tour 2019, I never thought ‘Let’s keep going on like this’ as well, owing to the circumstances. Just, if we didn’t do it we would’ve lost out minds is all. Shinoda: He speaks the truth alright. ygarshy: If we had to make a thoughtful commitment, I think it would’ve taken us hundreds upon hundreds of years until we finally made a move.

Was there not any type of critical moment during the tour wherein you realized “We can do this?”

Shinoda: Truthfully, during the tour I was so deep into it that I barely even the foggiest memory as to what was going through my brain back then. What I can say for sure is that 2 years ago on June 1st at the Memorial Concert (At Shinkiba Studio Coast), before that day I hadn’t stood on the stage in months. For the past 10 years of my life I haven’t gone that long without the stage. So when I got up for the Memorial Concert, despite it being a tragic event, I felt that when I’m up on stage with this band my mental state is the most stable it ever is. We even all went out for Chinese food after that.

The three of you did?

Shinoda: Yep. We drank our heads off and talked about how “We could totally manage a tour too, eh?” Yumao: Since our HOWLS tour (Hitorie Tour 2019 “Coyote Howling”) was cancelled, we felt we owed something, that we had to do something. We may be sad but, even more important than that was the urgency of the situation.

So there was no resolve or concrete decision to tour and make an album then.

Shinoda: Yep, looking back, I think that’s right.

Were you writing songs while touring?

Shinoda: We started writing around March of 2020? Yumao: Due to COVID-19 we had a lot of free time on our hands, so we took the oppurtunity. Though it wasn’t as if we said “Alright, let’s get going!”, we just all knew it was imminent, and that we had to do it at some point. That point was then.

Which was the first song you wrote?

Among the ones which made the cut, “Marshall A” was the first one consummated at the studio. Though “Utsutsu” was the first one made in my head. Around the end of the tour in 2019 the idea for the phrases took form. I felt that if I was to ever write for Hitorie again, this would be it.

”Utsutsu” stresses sorrow way thicker and heavier than any of the other songs in the album, so it makes sense that it came first.

Shinoda: It gets my feelings across, doesn’t it... The lyric and sung melody of “Utsutsu da ne” were around since the beginning.

Did you each make a song voluntarily?

Yumao: Yessiree. It was like “I’m’ere writing, so you'd better pick it up too." Shinoda: We had the slogan "Let's make 10 songs in one month". Yumao: Even if it was one chorus of a song, that would be okay. Shinoda: In the end, the ratio of songs I, ygarshy and Yumao completed was 8:1:1 (Though in the album itself it became 6:2:2). It might seem unbalanced, but this is perfectly balanced for us. ygarshy: Shinoda just makes a heap ton of songs. Shinoda: From there we picked and chose.

Did you have any standards for which would make the cut? Such as befitting of the current Hitorie or not?

Shinoda: That too was all over the place. Personally when I write, I place importance in how it will pan out with Hitorie as a whole but, I also contemplated what would fit our band's current climate. "Should the guitar not be too distorted?" "Should it not sound too 'rock band-ish'?", my mind was going crazy, I thought it would be best if it was entirely chilled out and mellow. There was a moment when a switch flipped.

It is true that songs such as 'tat' do take that direction, but after listening to the complete album I have to say, the rock band-ish style is in full bloom. There's a lot of distortion too.

Shinoda: Yep, it's distorted. Yumao: And it's rock (giggling). ygarshy: Listening to Shinoda say that just now made me upset.

Why is that?

ygarshy: Because I had purposefully intended for it to be distorted. Everyone: Ahahaha!

So you like distortion (laughing). To push this point further, would it be true to say that those are core aspects of Hitorie's style? Shinoda: Ahh, there’s definitely truth in that.

Yumao: The one most mindful of that had to have been ygarshy. Whatever we release next can’t be too distant from classic Hitorie, he was the one who secured how best to keep the string in tact.

Where was the poster song ’curved edge’ made in the creative process timeline? Shinoda: We upheld the slogan of 10 songs a month for about 2 months, and ‘curved edge’ was the final one. I wanted to make a classic Hitorie style riff-based song, but I didn’t want high-tempos. ‘curved edge’ was where I finally found the perfect balance between my wishes and Hitorie’s standards.

Hitorie never made songs with unwavering low tempos that take off into an uplifting dance breakdown at the chorus up until now after all.

Shinoda: Yeah. We all made the silent agreement to absolutely not try and make songs like wowaka’s.

I can definitely detect wowaka’s influence on your music, which is natural after being in a band together for so long. So, you kept it at.

ygarshy: We’ve each grown a keen sense for this. Suppose we were to show wowaka a song we wrote that mimics his style... He would make a really disgusted face. We just know, we just have a sense for it.

Shinoda: That’s the thing he despises the most after all.

ygarshy: That’s right. It would be but as a parody. And we wouldn’t want to do that.

ygarshy, you wrote the songs ‘Image’ and ‘dirty, correct. The melody of them feel nostalgic and longing, yet simultaneously evoke a rush and shivers.

ygarshy: In my current state letting the music flow out of me is all I’m capable of. Last spring, or summer was it, where we were showing each other our songs I.... Felt sad. So sad. Like “Why am I writing songs for Hitorie? Why is this what it’s come to?”

Yumao: Yep yep.

ygarshy: That’s why “dirty” and “Image” both are not very elaborate pieces. There’s much room to mix up chords or arrange it to be complex but, I just really had no heart to do that. Whatever popped out of my head wasn’t tinkered in the slightest, my wish was to keep in its organic simple form.

So when you handled the arrangement of music as a band, did you change as little as possible?

ygarshy: For the two songs I brought in, they were nice and stayed as close to demo version as they possibly could. “dirty” especially has a garage-style melody and tone which clicks immediately, so the lyrics and singing were molded to follow suit. Shinoda: Him (ygarshy) and I are the same age and all, so I pretty much can grasp whatever he goes for. Like he was probably going for those late 1990’s declining vibes. ygarshy: Exactly. I had thought to myself that I wanted dirty lyrics, and he actually delivered just that. I’d like to hear the story behind the two songs Yumao wrote as well, “YUBIKIRI” and “faceless enemy”. Both melodies are pop.

Yumao: That just kind of happens with me. Shinoda: He makes my contemplating and agonizing look stupid, because those songs are just as clear as fresh water. Yumao: All I did was squeeze out whatever I could (laughing). To be honest, I think my songs will be the most unacceptable to Hitorie’s listeners. I may be a member of Hitorie, and understand Hitorie like the back of my hand but, from the start I knew I’m incapable of writing songs to Hitorie’s standards. I took a realistic approach. ygarshy: Though I really enjoy the music Yumao wrote before Hitorie. So when he brought it those genuine honest pieces, I was so happy. I think I like the songs more than he himself does.

The fact that you chose to keep Yumao’s songs in the album despite them not being perfectly Hitorie fashioned, sounds like proof that you’ve found your answer for this album.

Yumao: Pedaling to the mettle is what I have to do, it’s all I can do. No matter if it’s acceptable or not, I’m doing what I can. That’s one message behind my songs.

Your song “YUBIKIRI” as the final track of the album has a lot of impact as well. It’s a bright and cheery song yet somehow it brings a tear to the eye.

Shinoda: Doesn’t it?

Yumao: It’s very cheery and it’s the brightest of the mix, isn’t it. When I wrote I was riding the groove in over my head, so I asked Shinoda to make the lyrics sound immature, like something a teenager would click with. I felt knotted up inside, and I needed something to break the chains for me. Completely divert from what Hitorie should or shouldn’t do, I alone needed to express and vent myself. And that’s how this song happened.

Shinoda: Yumao made that direct request of me, so I steered my word choices far away from any purple-prose. The keyboard was played by NariHane of Passpied, and when those 3 were off recording the music without me, I finished the lyrics. That’s how quickly they were zipped out.

After completing a whole album, how do you feel, do you think you will be able to continue on like this?

Shinoda: I don’t know yet. We’ll have to hear the people’s opinions. ygarshy: And what are we going to do after hearing them? After performing all these concerts? is one apprehension I have but,.. everything feels so up in the air.

Yumao: I know we haven’t said anything conclusive but! I want people to know we have a mountain of hypotheses on how we could move forward, on how we could keep Hitorie going, on how we could keep wowaka alive but, for now this album was just a do-or-die for us!

Shinoda: We made it, that’s all we needed.

Yumao: Yep. It was an absolute for us. I want to get that point across. This album is our declaration: that “We’ve taken one step forward”!

#Hitorie #interview #ヒトリエ #REAMP

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leupagus · 4 years

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My Stationery Box, or: The Douche Chest, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Being A Terrible Parody Of Myself

So I really love to write letters, and have since i was a kid — when i cleaned out my grandparents’ house I found a few I’d written in grade school, and my parents’ files are chocablock full of the weird collage type things I sent to them in college.

I’ve also been a huge insufferable fucking snob about stationery since way too young (yes I did have a fountain pen phase, no it did not go well) and have been collecting fancy paper and cute cards and assorted weird writing paraphernalia forever. Up until recently, things were just kind of haphazardly stuffed in various drawers and shelves and I could never actually find any said fancy shit when I wanted it; but a couple of months ago I discovered an adorable little chest of my late mom’s that had previously housed, I think, her knitting and has mostly just been collecting dust since. And voila: The Douche Chest was born:

(Pictured with my elderly laptop and coffee with my coffee warmer, which I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE everyone to buy one day when we’re not under worldwide quarantine, seriously it will change your life.)

Keep Reading for some top tier stationerdery

First off, the stuff that helps me write! I still use my family address book, which was purchased sometime in the early 80s and has the name and address of everyone my parents ever cared enough about to want their name and address, which is actually not that many people. I keep it updated and have added a few people, but mostly rely on my phone’s address book. Mostly I like it because it’s got a lot of my mom’s handwriting.

My planner, which has a whole correspondence section where I keep a record of who I write to regularly, when I write to them, and what kind of stationery they usually get (because there are different types and you don’t want to give a correspondence an inconsistent letter-reading experience! Yes I know, I can’t believe I’m like this either) indicated by the m, s, x, l, b notations. That will be relevant later. Also yes the planner is where I scribble down both story ideas and my gratitude journal. This is what I’m saying in re: yikes.

At my own house, I have a whole huge box of letters I’ve gotten over the years, mostly organized by sender and date. Since I’m at my aunt’s house for quarantine, my correspondence is all being kept in my dad’s old... I dunno what to call it, basically it’s a trapper-keeper type thing that I literally never saw him go to work without. (A running theme of this tour is that a whole lot of this stuff is inherited from/given to me by my parents and grandparents.) Inside is also various labels that have come in handy when addressing packages etc, as well as our local neighborhood directory.

Next up is my pen bag, which is — I mean, it has my pens. I prefer writing with a black .5 tip rollerball type pen, and by “prefer” I mean “I cannot abide writing letters with anything else and will go to Staples and buy a new box rather than use a ballpoint pen except obv not right now, which makes the bag real important for keeping track of all my special pens.” Also pictured: my grandpa’s ancient letter opener that I’m pretty sure he stabbed multiple people with, and my blue Le Pen which I use to annotate my letters when I’m reading them through before sending. I KNOW.

This is my assorted letter-writing stuff storage box (no we’re not even at the cards yet this is TERRIBLE); please note that I sort of jerryrigged this box together myself, which will be another running theme of this tour. Glue, roller whiteout thingies, washi tape (which I don’t really use but people keep sending me?) post-its and my address stamp because no matter what I do, the fuckin’ Audubon Society refuses to send me a single donation request with cute stickers showing my address even though they’ve sent my deceased dad like three THIS YEAR. Anyway. Also please note the incredibly awesome initial stamp thing — I came up with the rough design in college and use it in place of my name a lot, but I went to leoniebunch and they transformed it into this super professional and lovely design that I want to use for the rest of my life. Not pictured: the fucking wax seal I also had made with that design, because yes, I’m like this.

WE’RE STILL NOT DONE WITH THE PARAPHERNALIA: here’s the other misc. stuff that I use on the regular. Cup with sponge because we’re not really licking envelopes these days: tons of weird stickers that I’ve collected, YET MORE PENS, including rainbow ones because one of these days I’m going to write to one of my friends with alternating rainbow colors and they’ll have to murder me. Also pictured: the letter opener which I forgot to put back in the pen bag, as well as my dog’s nail clippers and brush because that’s a handy place to keep them. Also also pictured: my dog, who does not help in any way with letter writing.

OKAY FINALLY ONTO THE STATIONERY, Jesus just writing this all out is making me both proud and ashamed.

I’m sure you noticed in the first pic how everything is meticulously, not to say monomaniacally, labeled. Some stuff might require a little bit of explanation; some stuff is pretty wysiwyg though. For example, BEAR CARDS, which:

(These are sent exclusively to my nephews, who go absolutely apeshit over them every time. Come to think of it, I have a LOT of cards/letter stock/etc that is just for one person or one set of people, which maybe I should talk to my therapist about.)

PUN CARDS are likewise exactly what you think they are; they’re the most recent addition to my hoard, having found them at Powells when I went to Portland in February. They are extremely My Kind Of Thing.

Then you’ve got things like BIRTHDAY CARDS, THANKS, POSTCARDS which like — guess what:

(Please note that of these birthday cards, all but two were actually inherited from my grandmother who passed away in 1986. See if you can guess which two are my purchases.) (Also I’m running out of thank-you cards but to be fair I am rarely grateful so this should last me another few years at least.) (Also shit, I didn’t take a picture of the postcards I don’t think? Whatever, they’re postcards that I’ve either inherited from my parents or collected over the years. There’s also a very odd collection of wolf-themed cards that SOMEONE in my family collected, and that I have been using exclusively for allighater because she’s the only one who could ever appreciate them enough.)

Then there’s the BLANK CARDS and BLANK AND WRITTEN CARDS WITH/WITHOUT ENVELOPES, because sometimes I just need to know what I’m getting into before opening the boxes. I’d say a good 50% of these were inherited from my folks, with the cutsier ones being my own purchases. The cards that these boxes originally contained are looooooooong since used up but they’re nice boxes and that meme about adulthood being an endless debate over whether or not you should keep a box because it’s a really good box is accurate as all hell.

(There are a lot of cards in here that I bought when I was like, in college — those square ones, for example, were purchased at Faces in Northampton when I was in college and I’m probably never going to actually send them which is kind of ridiculous but see: this entire post.)

And finally, the actual letter-letter stationery! Which I also have an embarrassing amount of! First up is what’s labelled MADOC TREE CARD/LETTER because I honestly had no idea how else to describe it; it was inherited from my grandma who everyone called MaDoc (on account of her being both a ma and a doctor, go figure) and it’s really lovely. I doubt it’s the original intention, but I like to unfold the paper and use both sides of it, because I always have a lot to say. These are used only for family members on MaDoc’s side, and of those, only the ones I really like, which accounts for there still being a lot left.

Then there’s the X-LARGE paper, which isn’t actually that large — it’s just normal computer-sized — but in context is the biggest stuff I’ve got. All of this paper is from my mom, who loved using cute themed paper, and I use this stuff mostly for the friends of hers I keep in touch with (which is actually kind of a lot).

Then there’s the letterhead I use for — okay, so like, we know by now that I’m deeply weird, but this is probably just DEEPLY WEIRD, but whatever, you came this far. So I found a metric shitton of 6 3/4 envelopes in amongst my parents’ office supplies — I have literally zero idea why they had about 5 100-count boxes of these envelopes but I’m one of those people who can never, ever throw shit out, so! I gathered together all the letterhead that they’d also collected over the years from the various universities and hospitals they worked at, cut said letterhead down so that it a) didn’t have University of Tacoma or whatever still on it and b) perfectly fit a 6 3/4 envelope if folded three times. The resulting shape is a little... odd, I’ll admit, but it pleases me greatly and that’s the important thing. In fact this has been my go-to correspondence choice for a couple of months now.

(Also pictured: the cover for this hinky-ass box I made out of a Beekman 1802 box from when we went to their store for their Rose Apothecary popup shop. Zero regrets. Not pictured: the really cute pad of paper I also use for these envelopes that’s a more normal size and shape because where’s the fun in showing you normal stuff?)

And finally, my pride and joy, my Crane Stationery, some of which I have had since I was in high school and my mom bought me a box of it for my birthday (I told you, running theme). It comes in small, medium, and big; yes, I absolutely have rules as to who gets what size of these, too. The medium box kind of fell apart a few years ago so I cobbled a new one together; Crane stationery is notable for not being as exciting as that cover might imply. I’m also kind of pleased that I still have the airmail stationery that I got in college that apparently isn’t sold anymore, which I find baffling because what the fuck is the point of international correspondence if you don’t have to use special stationery? Anyway:

(In re: the lined sheets — I actually have them for every size, because I loathe lined paper but also loathe writing crooked, hence these guides that I put under each sheet as I write. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

So that’s the complete guided tour! If you aspire to have a collection as viscerally unnerving as mine, feel free to send any questions my way. You’re welcome/I’m sorry.

#'you're welcome/I'm sorry' is ALSO a running theme #anyway a whole three people on twitter wanted this so tadaaaa #stationery station

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destroy-the-cannon · 3 years

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Chapter Three: A Detestable Obsession

Hello hello hello! This week’s chapter is exciting because it’s in Olivia’s POV this time. I’ve decided that I’m going to alternate it from now on, which I think was the best choice. I was hoping to be able to get to the derby and really get things going, but I had to cover a bit of backstory, the masquerade from Olivia’s perspective. I think it’s a good one this week!

Taglist: @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @kingliam2019 @cordonian-literature @kamilahsayeet2063

Story Tags: Eventual lemon, sexual tension, enemies to lovers, slow burn, idiots to lovers, weapon loving women, woman loving woman.

Story Warnings: Swearing.

Olivia let out a long sigh as she wiped the last of her makeup off. She started on pulling out the million little pins from her hair, dropping them into the dish on her counter. She was absolutely exhausted, and not nearly as satisfied as she’d hoped to be.

I’m sorry, Olivia. I don’t want to hurt you.

I’m Lady Paige Langley.

She let out a frustrated growl as the events of the night played in her mind. Too many surprises had popped up at once, and she felt knocked off balance. She had swaggered into court with a loud look-at-me kind of confidence that made the weaker girls tremble, and she had left looking no more impressive than a deflated balloon.

I’m sorry, Olivia. I don’t want to hurt you.

Her time with Liam had started out fine. She had grown up with the man, so of course she knew how to work him. Coy smile, low laugh, dart the gaze towards his lips. She had popped out her hip and chest and watched how his eyes fell predictably to her cleavage before moving quickly away. He’d been stuttering like an idiot, which she’d taken to mean that he was liking what he saw. Until, that is, he finally stilled, ending the fidgeting and stuttering. Instantly, she knew that something was off. She had seen that look on his face before, and she knew what it meant for her.

“Olivia, listen-”

“Liam, l-”

“No. Please, this needs to be said.” She hated the way he squared his jaw and finally, finally held her eye. He had made up his mind on whatever he had been struggling with.

“Olivia. You know how much I care about you, and I’m glad you’re here, but this isn’t what I want. With you. If you prove to be the best candidate, then of course I’ll choose you, but I would be choosing you as a queen, not as a wife. I say this now because I don’t want…” He paused.

“I don’t want you to look back on this ten years from now and feel betrayed. Or like I led you on. You’re my friend, and you always will be, but I just don’t feel anything more for you.”

He might as well have put a goddamn knife through her chest. He wasn’t subtle, or vague, or wishy-washy. He had essentially just told her that he never loved her and didn’t think that he ever would. They were barely half an hour into the ball, and already it was completely ruined. She hunched her shoulders, feeling suddenly too exposed in the night air.

“Is there someone else?” It was a last, desperate attempt to regain control of the situation, and they both knew it. There was a horde of other women on the other side of the palace doors, each one more eligible than the last. But this was personal. This was him saying wasn’t him saying that Olivia Vanderwall Nevrakis, Duchess of Lythikos, wouldn’t make a good queen. This was him saying that Olivia, just Olivia, wouldn’t make a good wife. But maybe someone else would.

“Whether or not there is someone else, my feelings remain the same.”

“You didn’t answer the question.” He started fidgeting again, but she stopped him with a look.

“You owe me that much, at least.” Liam stopped and nodded hesitantly.

“You’re right. The truth is, there might be. I don’t know if she feels the same way, but I…” A ghost of a smile appeared on his face, and Olivia’s heart squeezed painfully.

“She’s got something about her that’s just so... different. Incredible. She’s smart, and ridiculously strong, and-” He stopped when he noticed her expression. He cleared his throat and looked away bashfully.

“Sorry. Wrong audience, I know.” Olivia sighed and tilted her face up towards the stars. The moon was nothing but a sliver in the sky. “I should go. Your time with me is running long.”

She turned to go back in. Just before she closed the door behind her, she heard him call it over her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Olivia. I don’t want to hurt you.” She clenched her jaw and pulled the door shut behind her, leaving him alone in the cold air.

I’m Lady Paige Langley.

Olivia was sipping on champagne when she heard the herald announce the new girl. She didn’t bother to look up from her drink, even as the gasps and murmurs echoed through the room. Whispers of envy and shock flitted around her head like butterflies.

Hm. Must be a pretty one. The girl was announced with Maxwell Beaumont, so she must’ve been his date, some pretty little nobody he’d fallen for in a bar somewhere.

Sighing, Olivia swirled her glass absentmindedly, watching to see what the old fixtures of these types of events were doing. It was the same as always: Drake was in a corner practically snogging a glass of whiskey he’d managed to scrounge up, Hana was making polite conversation with an old, half-dead looking duke, and Kiara and Penelope were whispering together in a corner.

After her conversation with Liam, Olivia barely had the energy to stand from her chair, let alone walk about the room and mingle. She downed the last of her drink in one quick gulp, hoping it would give her the strength she needed. All she had to do was keep a low profile, do some eavesdropping, and introduce herself to the newbie. Should be easy enough. She adjusted her dress and pasted on an enticing smile, scanning the room for a figure she couldn’t recognize.

She spotted her target, a dark-haired woman in the corner talking to Drake. From the look on his face, she must have been chewing him out over something. She wore the angel outfit that went with Olivia’s devil costume. Interesting.

She came up behind the woman (Paige, wasn’t it? Olivia couldn’t quite remember how she’d been announced) and stood for a moment, waiting to catch Drake’s eye. It was always funny to watch him notice her: his features would go big and frozen, like he’d just seen a ghost. He seemed strangely wrapped up in his conversation with the girl, though, so Olivia took another step forward.

“Pardon me, but I must steal her away.” She shot a devious grin his way as Drake finally reacted, vague panic spreading on his face.

“Um, I’ll just…” He flew towards the bar. As soon as he was gone, the girl spun around to face Olivia.

In retrospect, the duchess didn’t really know what she’d been expecting. Some seemingly overwhelmed goody-good, maybe, excited to spend a night in the one and only royal palace. One of the girls Maxwell would bring in to these events and then probably never see again, a girl who wouldn’t have the guts to compete. A lost little calf, marveling at how the other half lived.

But that’s not what Olivia saw. The woman before her was no delicate little thing, as she’d expected. She had a kind of roughness, grit, that the other nobles there could never even dream of knowing. Kario akys, they said in Lythikos. Warrior’s eyes.

Her eyes travelled the rest of the woman’s shape. God, she was gorgeous, almost infuriatingly so. For a moment, Olivia said nothing. What could she say? Her usual fear tactics weren’t going to work on someone like this. She had been counting on Paige being a meek commoner, terrified to stand up for herself. But this woman clearly wasn’t going to take any bullshit. Even in a lacy angel outfit, she stood like a fighter, just the sort of stance that made Olivia’s heart hammer. She started to speak, her voice a low tone.

“I am Lady Olivia Vanderwall Nevrakis, Duchess of Lythikos.”

“I’m-”

“Lady Paige Langley. Yes, that’s right. That’s why I’m here.” As soon as the other woman spoke, the trance was broken. Olivia shook her head slightly, trying to regain control of the situation. She searched for something she could do to fix that, something she could say-

It came to her. She chatted idly for a minute or so, making sure that the girl really was planning on entering the race, before planting the bomb:

“When you go to meet the king, here’s what you’ll do…”

* * *

Finally, Olivia pulled the last pin free from her head. Her crimson hair pooled around her shoulders as she shook it out, the riot of color a sharp contrast against her pale skin. She paused a moment to stare into the bathroom mirror, trying to anchor herself somehow. Her face was completely free of makeup, and she wore only her pyjamas and a silk robe. Just yesterday, she had been so sure of herself, positive she was better than everyone there. But the face staring back at her seemed so fragile and lost that it surprised her a little. Maybe even worried her. She had no friends here anymore, and she’d ruined her chances of making an ally of Paige. She was alone again, and only in the solitude of her room could she admit how much that was starting to frighten her.

Or maybe she couldn’t. Not yet, anyway. She let out a groan as she straightened, banishing her doubts from her mind. The derby was tomorrow, and that was where her most important obstacle lay: the queen. The queen was really more important than the king, in a few ways. If she didn’t approve of you, she would let you know. It would become impossible to win unless you somehow made it up to her, which, seeing how stubborn she tended to be, was quite the challenge. A few of the girls would probably even drop out, which meant that the competition would be growing that much smaller.

Climbing into bed, Olivia reviewed her mental checklist. She had an appointment at the boutique scheduled for tomorrow morning, an alarm set so she’d wake up in time, a period to do her makeup, some time for breakfast…

She yawned as exhaustion settled on her bones like a heavy blanket. Turning off her lamp, she tossed over in bed, trying to use her last moments of consciousness to cobble together some sort of plan. Her two biggest problems right then were Liam and Paige. She needed to figure out some way to get Liam to start falling for her, and some way to get Paige… out of the competition. Olivia would never be able to focus with the girl around as a distraction. Her heartbeat seemed to speed up as she remembered gazing at her, having that one moment before she got her wits about her, a moment where she could just look and want and appreciate.

As sleep closed in, the duchess couldn’t help but wonder where everything had gone so ridiculously wrong.

* * *

Sun streamed through the windows as the beat of traditional Lythikanese war drums pounded through the room. Olivia let out a low grumble as she rolled to reach her alarm. Shutting it off, she lay in bed for a moment, trying to collect herself. It was the morning of the derby at last, a golden opportunity to get herself back on top. She knew she couldn’t risk being late, but the bed seemed to swallow her up as she tried to roll over and out.

Finally lugging herself across the room, she went to begin on her morning routine. Brushing her teeth and washing her face were important, obviously, but the focus of the day was makeup.

Some noblewomen searched for weeks to find the perfect makeup artist to hire for an event like this. The best and most promising ones were usually snapped up a month or so in advance, which meant that you had to start looking early. The artists would travel with the women to the various duchies, and fix up their makeup to suit whatever the day’s activities held. This was, of course, in addition to the team of other specialists that were typically used: a stylist to accompany you to the boutique each morning, a dietitian to make sure you didn’t fall ill during a trip, a facialist to recommend the best products to keep your skin glowing, and so on.

Olivia, though, hadn’t bothered. Partially because she knew Liam didn’t really care about all that, and partially because she found the whole thing to be dreadfully over the top. If there was one thing Olivia despised, it was a lack of independence. Draping herself across plush chairs while someone she hadn’t exchanged more than five words with rubbed, buffed, and polished away at her sounded like an expensive hell. She was perfectly capable of doing her own makeup and picking out her own outfits, thanks very much. It didn’t even make any of these women more likely to win. It just made them feel more secure in their chances.

Rubbing sunscreen into her skin, she went over her plan in her head. Once she arrived, she would meet with the press and talk a bit about who she was, her plans for Cordonia, why she was different from the rest. She’d walk around for a short while, grab a drink, and settle in to watch the races. The queen was coming to speak with everyone once the races were finished, so she’d have a bit of time to herself before then. Hopefully she’d be able to spot Paige as well. No doubt she’d be good and mad about last night, hopefully mad enough to make some irrational decisions. Hopefully she’d scream at Olivia, or push her, or even throw a drink in her face. Olivia could then play the victim to the press, Paige could drop out, and the two would never have to see each other again. Expect, perhaps, when Paige was invited as a guest to the royal wedding. Oh, how satisfying it would be to watch the girl kneel before her throne. Olivia grinned as she finished up with her lipstick, grabbing her purse. Making her way to the boutique, she sighed in satisfaction as she imagined her entrance to the derby. The press would swarm her, desperate for a quick word or photo. She would positively glow in the sun, and even Liam would have to notice and be awed.

She threw open the doors to the boutique, breathing in the mingling scents of a thousand expensive perfumes from visits past. She was relatively early, so only a small, terrified looking girl remained. Olivia shot a sneer her way, and she dashed out so fast she crashed into a servant in the hall. Laughing, Olivia strode to grab her outfit off the rack. Red was her signature color, but not really derby appropriate. She had picked out a floral fit-and-flare with blue and yellow roses, something elegant yet fun. Her hair was going up in her signature braided bun, complete with…

It was the derby. You had to wear a headpiece. But as Olivia stared down at the obnoxiously cheery looking bird that sat in a nest of feathers, she had to suppress the urge to chuck it out the nearest window. ‘Bright’ and ‘cheery’ were not words one typically used to describe a Nevrakis’ wardrobe. ‘Terrifying’ and ‘awe-inpring’ were much more within Olivia’s comfort zone. God, the things she did for her goals.

Adjusting the pin in her hair, she checked herself out in the mirror. Perfect. She looked perfect. Her morning was starting to shape up, at last-

“Okay. Here we are. Remember to pick something that the queen would like. That’s the big goal here. I’ll meet you in the car in like and hour, ‘kay? We’ll be parked out front.”

“Cool. See you then.”

Olivia froze. Goddamnit. She closed her eyes, willing herself to remain calm. There was no getting out of this now. She stepped out from behind the dressing room curtain.

“Paige. What a pleasant surprise.”

#olivia nevrakis #the royal heir #the royal romance #the royal romance mc #trr au #trr fandom #trr maxwell #trr mc #trr #hana lee #drake walker #liam rys #liam rhys #maxwell beaumont #slow burn #slowburn #enemies to lovers #idiots to lovers

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emmys-grimoire · 4 years

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Season 2 review

It is done!

I’ll preface this review with the obvious but nevertheless important: these are my opinions. I am fine with others criticizing my opinions, mind you, but I’m usually disinclined to changing them. Like most opinionated people.

And as with most things covered in this blog, spoilers ahead. Don’t read it if you don’t like ‘em.

The Good

I believe the devs did the side characters justice in terms of character development, which is impressive because they have to fixate on seven other characters for most of the story (the demon brothers are the draw, afterall). It’s a little frustrating because it shows they are capable of revealing a lot about a character in just a single conversation, but they spend a great deal of their time on fluff. It is nothing unsurprising given the aim of the game as a whole (romantic fantasy/escapism), but it does detract from… well, everything else. If you don’t care about everything else, this doesn’t matter. If you’re one of the few who do, like me, you’re in for a drought before you get to the next juicy story morsel. Alas, that is the price we pay.

But, this is ‘the Good’ section of the review, so I will focus on that. Diavolo, Luke, Simeon, and Solomon get fleshed out more than they did in the previous season as promised, and their growing closeness to MC doesn’t feel hamfisted; there’s little realistic hooks strewn throughout that makes the relationships grow organically compared to, say, the newt syrup arc.

At the end of the season MC is set to become Solomon’s new apprentice, they are now instrumental in Diavolo’s plan for realm-wide peace instead of just being a particularly charming exchange student, Simeon is more interested in learning more about MC due to MC’s meddling during the retreat and their performance in his play, and Luke finally can bring himself to admit that he actually enjoys being in the Devildom. Michael is being alluded to more and more and finally drops in to say hi, even though the game stops short of explicitly revealing that it is him. It all feels like a good transition into more romantic things with them in the next season, and I look forward to exploring more hidden depths.

I am relieved they steered away from additional time travel due to its potential to confuse everyone and everything. We need to learn what the deal is with Barbatos but I’m sure it can be done without meddling with the time continuum. The introduction of the Reaper has interesting worldbuilding implications: the souls of all beings are overseen by what appears to be an unaligned third party, though prior lore implies that the departed souls still return to their respective realms (Lilith allegedly forgot how to ascend to the Celestial Realm in her desire to watch over her siblings). But, like with Michael, they avoided actually showing him by having him take a vacation right before Solomon and the brothers arrive.

On the whole, I’m happy with the season’s ending. It’s probably as good as it can get, and sets up the next season well -- assuming there is one (I think there will be).

The Bad

It’s hard to frame this because there were never any explicit promises made but wow was the build-up wasted and the climax went down dry.

Diavolo’s wishy-washiness and reluctance to tell Lucifer about how MC’s presence was slowly tearing the Devildom asunder, his growing jealousy and his doubt in the strength of Lucifer’s loyalty, the foreshadowing in Simeon’s play, Barbatos warning Lucifer that one day he may need to choose between Diavolo and MC/his family and how he was reverting back to his angelic self, the very foreboding storm that was brewing outside, how Lucifer was certain “something bad” was about to happen… all that juicy potential rendered impotent because of the Ring of Light and amnesia.

It didn’t lead to a tortured, difficult choice Lucifer had to make that had the potential to put either his relationships or the realms in jeopardy -- and it really felt like it was headed in that direction. But it couldn’t really lead there because Lucifer lost his memories, and he was just re-familiarizing himself with all those relationships. Instead we had to choose whether or not we let Lucifer martyr himself, and of course he’s willing to do that because he loves us even if his memories aren’t fully intact, and it’s heavily implied that he’s his angel-like self again. The choices we made during the play don’t really come into fruition, and the Ring of Light helps make our choice ultimately irrelevant anyway.

It felt like they winded up for the pitch and then lost their nerve.

Though I’d argue that Lucifer would ultimately be okay with sacrificing himself for MC and the realms even if he was still his full-fledged, assholish demon self… but it definitely felt like fate was going to make him choose between his loyalty and his love. You know, the whole “love is the death of duty”/”duty is the death of love” shebang. It would have been more rewarding -- they can even let the Ring of Light ultimately fix everything and I’d be happy if it was that dilemma! But this isn’t Game of Thrones, so I can’t be too disappointed that my expectations weren’t met.

If you like Lucifer and Mammon fluff, this season gives it in spades. If neither of those two are your favorite you might have been bummed out. They give Asmo an arc but he ultimately concludes he was trying too hard to be like Lucifer which left me all ?????? How? Satan tutors you, but he doesn’t really deviate from what he usually does (though his minor tiff with Simeon when he’s physically affectionate with us was amusing). The devs did suggest they want to explore Satan’s origins more thoroughly in the future in one of the newsletters, and I think we’re due for that in the next season. There’s hope for the others yet... just not much in this season.

The Future?

I think there’s a high probability that we’ll get a season 3. Nothing about season 2’s ending felt like they were wrapping things up. The season as a whole felt like a transition.

I think we’ll get more romantic scenes with our “undateables” and they won’t officially be considered “undateables” any more. We’ll probably get more cards with them. I’m not sure if they’ll fully graduate into dance battle sprites because that’ll require more creative color assignments for glow sticks, but I wouldn’t entirely discount the possibility. There are many shades in the rainbow.

I think worldbuilding necessitates more exploration of the Celestial Realm, and an eventual conclusion to the game storyline requires officially mending relations between the angels and demons and healing the wounds incurred by both the wars of the distant past and the Great Celestial War (which was essentially a civil war). Such a thing requires an honest dialogue between the two factions for it to ring sincere, not just a continuation of the exchange program. The game doesn’t hesitate in stating how violent all of it was.

To that end, I think we’re going to at least get a full-fledged Michael eventually, though I understand the reluctance to add him due to the work that will follow in adding another handsome man fans will undoubtedly want to make blush and kiss. They may leave him a disembodied voice for as long as they possibly can, but at some point fans will start complaining at the teasing. It’ll be like continually having to skip a missing step on a ladder.

Until then, though, he’s a missing step that’s fun to conceptualize.

You won’t get routes. The setting is ideal for a harem: all the potential love interests loved each other before MC ever entered the picture, so they will eventually accept having to share them, jealousy be damned. I’m pretty sure they’re all aware of MC’s affection towards each of them already: it’s just a matter of contention of which among them MC prefers the most. If MC wants to pursue only one of the brothers, it is up to them to do just that -- in the confines of the presented story.

Conclusion

There were some good story bits to chew on here and there, but as a whole the writing fell flatter than season 1’s writing, in spite of the predictability in the latter. The general unpredictability of this season has made things more exciting than the conclusion we eventually arrived at; it’s hard to commend it when it just doesn’t lead to something intriguing.

Welp, at least we get time to level up our cards for the next season. I only have three URs so it was pretty rough.

I’ll probably do more analysis and essays in the interim, as I work through hard mode and think more about stuff. It’s been fun, in spite of my critique.

#obey me!#obey me #obey me spoilers #obey me season 2 #obey me season 2 review #review

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percysblakeney · 3 years

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1, 9, and 14! :)

These will be fun to answer! I’ll try not to ramble too much... I tend to talk a lot when I get excited.

1. Describe your dream house

I think the best way to describe my dream home would be... well... old, first and foremost, which is probably obvious, but I tend to fluctuate between wanting a smaller house (like an 18th century home in New England or something - I loooove the wide-planked floors) and wanting a large drafty English manor house with ghosts and passages, you know? I feel like my personality is so multi-faceted that it’s hard for me to stay going in one direction. However, the house I picture is ALWAYS old. I feel a strong desire - almost a need - to protect old, crumbling architecture. I think the inside of my house also tends to fluctuate with my moods, as I have a deep broody side and a side that prefers lighter, airier things, so it’s hard to say, but I love both lush, dark interiors and also minimalistic and bright ones. I have quite a fascination with bones (I studied them in school and hope to go to grad school so I can study them for a job) - and I just know my house would have articulated skeletons and specimens everywhere, so I see this as well. I also love the natural world and animals and would love to try my hand at taxidermy (only on animals that have died naturally or ethically, of course, I don’t like hunting, even though I know it’s necessary). I’m a closeted goth, so expect that to come out in my decorations as well lol. Ultimately, it’s an old house with eclectic furnishings.

9. Talk about your favorite historical period

This one will be so difficult for me because I don’t think I have one solid favorite - if you’ve noticed, it’s difficult for me to make up my mind on things! lol - I think I will have to give you a wishy-washy answer of... the 18th and 19th centuries! (sorry). I’ve always had an interest in the Revolutionary War and the clothing of the late 18th century, as well as the French Revolution, and when I was a child I was fascinated with the 1860s and the American Civil War. I think that I have always been interested in (and have become obsessed with) the darkest and most gruesome events I could learn about - I was a strange child and I am a strange adult - so you tend to find my interests lying in the dark corners of history. I think, as well, that these moments in time are fascinating because they resulted in so much change (for the most part) and were so crucial to the development of today’s world. For example, I’ve always felt drawn to the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire of 1911, to the point where I feel like I must have lived it in a past life. Edgar Allan Poe once said that there was nothing more poetic than the death of a beautiful woman, and I think the romanticism of dying young and tragically while you’re still full of life and rosy really tugs at something in me - which is why I’m drawn to these things. So... I haven’t really given an answer... and I’m sorry for that. Truth be known I don’t actually know a huge amount about history outside of the United States (but I am always learning and I love history with my whole heart).

14. Write a review of the last film you watched

I had to write many formal reviews for my film class freshman year (and I got really sick of it), so I’m going to make this pretty informal 😉. The last film I watched was “The Hunt for the Wilderpeople” directed by Taika Waititi. I absolutely love Taika’s films (What We Do in the Shadows is one of my favorites). I watched it with my sister on a whim when we were looking for things to watch on Netflix, and I’m really glad I did that! We did this once before and found “Knives Out”, which is now one of my favorites, but this review is not about that movie lol. This film is a comedy, which is a rare genre for me, but I really really enjoyed it. It’s one of those films that is not only funny but heartfelt and emotional at times. It’s about a boy who leaves the foster system in New Zealand to live with a couple out in the middle of nowhere and how his relationship with them grows and changes. There are some pretty crazy and unexpected events that transpire that I won’t spoil, but I definitely recommend it. I thought that the cinematography reminded me of Wes Anderson at times (with less symmetry), and the soundtrack was unique and interesting. It was overall just a very cute, quirky, and heartwarming film. Plus the actor who plays Ricky Baker is just the cutest kid. His character makes a lot of tongue-in-cheek references to other movies and things in pop culture (he names his dog Tupac) which I think is really fun - I found myself comparing a shot to The Lord of the Rings, right before his character joked that it was like The Lord of the Rings. I don’t know - I’m rambling - but it was a really good movie and I’m really glad I watched it. I would probably give it a pretty high score... like an 8/10 or a 9/10.

Thanks for asking these! It felt nice to use my brain 🤤

I know I rambled a lot, but it’s late so I blame the time and not my (very present) inability to stick to one topic. 😂

#get to know me #ask game #@buster-keaton

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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 4 years

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**SPOILERS** Featuring Netflix’s Cursed

SPOILER FREE REVIEW:

When I first heard about this show coming to Netflix I was excited. As someone who loves watching King Arthur inspired shows/movies, I was interested to see how the story would change by following Nimue aka the Lady of the Lake. I was surprised at how few Arthurian references were made. Mainly just focusing on characters names (like Arthur) and re-inventing them. This is more inspired by Arthurian legend than a full re-telling (or at least for this first season). From what I’m familiar with, there isn’t a whole lot of similarities with the King Arthur legend. When I first heard about the focus on Nimue, I thought the story would have followed a time long before Uther. Instead it’s more like an alternative story.

There are a lots of characters and plots that can feel info dumpy at times, but you kind of roll with it and see how important they are as you go. Due to having SO many characters, it makes it easier to watch and doesn’t make me want to read the book. I think fans of Game of Thrones will like it because it feels like it’s trying to bank on filling the fantasy void that GOT left. (Especially with all of the characters involved and mini story-lines.) Disclaimer: There is A LOT of blood and gore. Sometimes it feels unnecessary and that they had a blood quota. So watch out for that if you’re squeamish or don’t like gory things. (There were a few parts I had to look away from.)

Despite all of this negativity, once I understood this was a show that’s loosely based in the lore, I actually grew to like it. Of course, there’s things I would be okay without, but overall if/when a season 2 comes out I would watch it.

SPOILER REVIEW:

Two things that I think made this watch even more enjoyable/fun was 1) Watching it with someone 2) Watching it with the captions on. [Mystical Twinkling]--Every time the sword made a noise.

Like I said before, there were A LOT of characters and for some of them I really didn’t care. As the show went on, it made more sense, but still had a lot going on. At times, I wished I could see more of the characters I liked (ie: The Weeping Monk) compared to the Raiders.

I definitely made a lot of Game of Thrones references and surprisingly The 100 too. Also, naming people other names. When the Widow showed up to Merlin we were joking around that it was his Mom. Also, thought Squirrel was Nimue’s brother for the longest time.

Villains:

SISTER IRIS!!! She needs to stop and I hate that she survived at the end of the show. For a small moment it looked like she might have changed her mind about killing the Fey Queen, but after that creepy scene of psyching herself into it, I knew she was a lost cause. Her and the paladins were very creepy and eerie. All the red just felt uncomfortable. So, that made them a chilling villain. I’m just frustrated that won’t be the last time we see Iris as now she’s been truly welcomed into the fold.

“Born in the Dawn to walk in the Twilight”

MERLIN!!! I really enjoyed this incarnation of him and the direction they decided to take. Basically every scene he was in I enjoyed. The idea of him losing his powers to the sword and then the SWORD BEING INSIDE OF HIM!! AND THAT ENDING!! Such an epic scene when he used the sword. (I kept making Thor references with all the lightning.)

1x06 was probably my favorite episode because of his backstory/flashbacks with Lenore. They easily are one of my top ships of the show (very close to Pym and Dof). I GUESSED he was Nimue’s Dad (because it made a lot of sense) and was SO HAPPY when he was revealed as her dad. I really loved their dynamic. Gustaf did a fantastic acting job showing how much Merlin cares for Nimue. His watery eyes in so many scenes! And that the last one when she called him father and he couldn’t hold onto her! No wonder why he decided to use the sword again. I’m very excited to see what happens to him in season 2 (if/when there is one). I’m also interested to see what happens with him and Morgana. In Arthurian legend they are adversaries, but can have a very complicated relationship. Despite all of the changes in the show, I’m sure they’ll keep that in (or something close).

Speaking of Morgana.... I really loved her character from when we first met her. I thought it was an interesting choice that she went under the name Igraine as she was Arthur’s sister and that’s his mother’s name. And then when the reveal happened with her actual name I got excited. When she was talking to Celia (when she was dead) I kept shouting NOOO and wanted to run into the TV. I like that they are going to explore her sorceress side. Now that she became the widow it should be interesting to see how powerful she will be. (We don’t know much about that character.) So happy she stayed loyal to Nimue at the end.

I’m a HUGE fan of Daniel Sharman and after watching Medici earlier this year, I was very excited to see him back on Netflix with another show. Even though he was a villain in the show I kept holding out hope that he could be turned. (Probably because of my love for the actor.) Very early on I felt he was Fey. This was mainly due to the fact he could smell them out. This isn’t a trait that any other man blood had. There was also the fact he didn’t harm kids that sent a red flag to me that something probably happened in his childhood. I was pretty accurate when his backstory (or some of it) was revealed in 1x10. My one major complaint about this season is that we didn’t get more of him/more of his story sooner. Because if there isn’t a second season than we won’t be able to see this transformation happen. That is one of my favorite tropes in TV shows and books.

While the Weeping Monk’s relationship with Squirrel was only a little part of this season, I really enjoyed them together. So I was very excited that they ended up together at the end, which will probably have them together for a good amount of another season. Their dynamics will be interesting to see. Definitely get an Arya and The Hound vibe.

AND THAT NAME REVEAL! I can’t believe I didn’t piece it together!! Squirrel as Perceval makes so much sense! I read the romance of Perceval and the Story of the Holy Grail when I was studying in college and Preceval starts out as this young kid who longs to be a knight and is very hot-tempered and innocent. He will jump into anything without thinking about it first. That’s squirrel! So when Gawain named him before knighting him a knight of the Fey it was just perfect! I am very excited to see how his character develops. I just hope he doesn’t age too much before the next season. AND LANCELOT! I can’t believe I didn’t see that one coming! But it also makes sense as Lancelot is a skilled fighter and so is the Weeping Monk. With a name like Lancelot, he has a lot to live up to. I am very ready to witness this transformation.

While watching the show I was doing my best to avoid all spoilers, yet in my YouTube feed I came across a few videos shipping the Weeping Monk and Nimue. This made me believe the two would have a true scene together, but no. I was very shocked that they did not and that the fandom already loves them so much. I can understand it because there are a lot of similarities between the two characters. From both in a way being cursed and the parallels with them having scars (specifically on their backs). He’s fire and she’s water and we know the connection there. Plus, the whole enemies to lovers trope feels strong. I also know about the lore of Lancelot and the Lady of the Lake which they have to explore. So, I can definitely see myself getting aboard this ship.

For me Arthur’s character started out very wishy washy. I’m not a big fan of love at first sight ships just because I feel they’re not realistic. (I guess that’s the unromantic in me.) And then the fact that he backstabbed Nimue by stealing the sword all to try and restore his honor (which he failed). Now I know this was all within the first few episodes but when he tells her he doesn’t want to be saved yet they still love each other...idk. It felt like it was contradicted the female queen power being showcased. For me their relationship overall just felt rushed. Perhaps if it wasn’t so fast then maybe I could have gotten on board with it. I think time apart will help me like Arthur’s character more.

.....

Definitely watch Cursed on Netflix if you’re a fan of medieval fantasy and don’t mind keeping up with a ton of characters and gore. Then you’ll hope for a second season as much as me!

#netflix cursed #cursed netflix #lady of the lake #spoilers #katherine langford #merlin #gustaf skarsgard #nimue #the weeping monk #Daniel Sharman #lancelot #squirrel #arthur #pym #morgana

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fyeahfandomtrash · 3 years

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ep 2 thoughts (spoilers beware!)

okaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy so i am entering that brainrot now :))) we all know these two are going to be toxic af but y’know what we’re going to descend into hell whilst looking hot doing so :)))

jae-eon is just so slimy but at the same time i do get why nabi is acting this way. he’s so good at cultivating intimacy with girls and is so good at manipulating them to fall for him. shoutout to song kang and han sohee though - their chemistry is actually insane and nothing i’ve ever seen in any kdrama before. i’m not gonna lie - i was pretty scandalized when i was watching that dream sequence. but damn it was off the charts - an episode highlight for a very obvious reason.

i’m now firmly of the belief that this show is going to stick with the original webtoon ending. if they don’t, then i’m throwing hands, because it doesn’t make sense given how much they’re sticking to the webtoon now (and showing just how much of an ass jae-eon is). i’m very much in love with han sohee’s acting here. she’s balancing nabi’s sweetness with her occasional levelheadedness and i’m ~almost~ convinced she’s a twenty-something college art student trying to get by

ALSO: can we talk about this sapphic storyline??? i thought it was going to be a one-sided thing and end up being strong queerbait or something, but the fact that the two girls are both developing strong feelings for each is such an interesting development. i’m hoping that they continue down this path and don’t get wishy-washy as the series goes on. really excited to see where we’re going in episode 3!

#nevertheless

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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Hello, everyone! I come bearing a new recap series to fill the void until Volume 8. This came about because a bunch of friends went, “Hey, this book is really bad” and I responded with, “Really? I should check it out!” Now here we are.

Thrilling tale, I know.

The rules for this project are simple:

Each recap will cover a single chapter

Each chapter will be read as time and energy permit

Each chapter will contain typos because such is life

Recaps are a general response to anything and everything I notice about the text. This includes positives, negatives, and the wishy-washy stuff in between. Despite the summarized conversation above, I’m not going into this with the intention of ripping BtD to shreds, nor am I looking to absolve it simply because it’s ~RWBY~. I’m attempting to be as objective as one human individual can be

However, given that there will be criticisms (a lot of them so far)... any rude messages taking issue with that will unceremoniously be deleted :)

Onward!

We open with Sun’s point of view as he wanders the streets of Vacuo in the very late night/early morning. We learn that he’s been back for a month, but it’s “only now that he felt like he was truly home.” Why that is isn’t made clear. There are two actions connected to this thought: getting into a dangerous battle and helping out a stranger. It’s up to the reader to decide which (or both) is what makes Vacuo feel like home to Sun, but either is going to say a lot about his characterization. Is he a Yang, only feeling like things are normal when there’s something exciting going on? Or a Ruby, attaching feelings of self-worth and belonging to his ability to help others? As said, it’s arguably both.

To clarify this situation: Sun is following a group of three who in turn are following a woman. He says that they were “three goons who were up to no good. At least he’d assumed they were up to no good when he spotted them stalking a woman out of some new nightclub downtown.” Which begs the question, which is it? Do you actually know the three are “stalking” her or is this another “assumption”? Are they up to no good or not? Retroactively, their fight with Sun and the narrative connections to the rest of the plot seem to prove that they are indeed baddies... but Sun didn’t know this at the time. By his own admission he’s drawing very firm conclusions (they’re “goons”) based on circumstantial evidence. I’m torn between praising him for taking action - that woman is presumably safe now thanks to him - and acknowledging that this is a problem with our whole cast. All our heroes jump to conclusions like this and have very confident ideas about who is “good” and who is “bad” based on little to no evidence. Really, I take far less issue with this particular situation and its context (Huntsmen in training sees a woman potentially in danger and takes non-disruptive action to try and prevent a tragedy. That’s good) than I do this trend of characters “assuming” things about others across the series.

But enough on that. Sun’s plan to keep an eye on the situation fails as they “somehow noticed him” despite taking extra precautions to keep out of sight. From this he deduces that at least one member, Brown, is a faunus because the faunus are much more attuned to their environment. Both due to biology and growing up trying to keep safe from humans. I find the bigotry part of that explanation to be odd. I’ll admit that I might be reading way too much into this. So far there’s a lot in this novel that’s not obviously bad but did make me pause and go, “Ehhh...” Just because this moment draws a line between the racism allegory and (literal) animal traits. Take a second to swap out the fantasy term of “faunus”: Character, as a black man, is more attuned to his environment because he’s learned to protect himself from white people.” There is something to be said for minority groups being more cautious in specific situations, or being wary of how they present themselves to new people, etc. But in this case faunus are supposed to just be more attuned to things 24/7 because of fantasy-racism, which sounds a lot like an evolutionary, animalistic trait that they... already have? Saying that the character with animal eyes and ears can more easily pick up on someone tracking him is one thing. Saying that the discriminated against character can more easily pick up on someone tracking him because he’s just hyper-aware at all times very much like an animal...that’s “Ehhh.” It’s one of those things I doubt I’d be paying any attention to if RWBY had given us better representation overall. It’s reached a point where the way the faunus are handled is so messy that any statement like this invites at least a dollop of suspicion. But I’ll leave that to others to cry “Yea” or “Nay.”

So Sun is forced to confront these three. They wear masks and “matching silver armbands around their right biceps.” Sun thinks that they’re “just average gas masks” and thus way less scary than the grimm masks the White Fang prefers. All I could think was:

Gas masks are plenty scary, Sun, you’re just watching the wrong TV shows.

These four start the obligatory pre-fight chit-chat which includes Pink calling Sun “kid.” Every time this happens I feel a tiny bit of my soul wither and die. The protagonists’ ages and the implications attached to them have been a thorn in my side since Volume 5. I mean, heaven forbid we acknowledge that these are teenagers often making immature decisions when the text itself keeps reminding us of how young they are.

But I digress.

As the fight begins Sun concentrates to activate his semblance and we’re given a rather strange flashback. Sun, along with his older cousin Starr Sanzang, are moving with their clan after their “previous settlement had become too attractive to Grimm.” Which is its own, massive can of worms labeled with the question “What suddenly makes a home ‘too attractive’?” But we have nothing else to work with there so I’m leaving it alone. The primary takeaway is Sun’s reaction to the move itself. He wants to know why they don’t fight and despite being told that a) not everyone in the clan is as strong as him and b) he has a tendency to be hotheaded (even though that’s presented as familial teasing), he’s not happy with those answers. It’s amazing how much of this characterization makes it feel like Meyers barely read the RWBY wiki, yet he’s simultaneously managing to hit on a lot of the series’ major themes - including the idea that heroes must never, ever retreat. We could easily take Sun’s thoughts and chuck them into any of Team RWBY’s heads during Volume 7 and you’d be good to go. Not standing and fighting when that would likely mean your death? The horror!

This perspective also (for me) says a lot about his semblance itself. This is the moment where he starts working towards it, so given what we know about semblances, souls, and the circumstances in which they’re developed, I’d say his emotional state is pretty important. Sun wants to stay and fight. He’s told that not everyone is powerful like him. He’d need more people in order to defend his home. Then he literally creates more of himself to help him in battle. Problem solved.

The strange part is what kick-starts this development. Sun sees a magical (???) tree that appears to him and him alone. It’s “a desert willow, green and flourishing with white, rose, and violet flowers” and it’s what he focuses on whenever he needs to draw on his semblance. It’s unclear what, if anything, this tree is meant to represent. There’s obvious symbolism regarding a “flourishing” plant in an otherwise desolate wasteland, but we are not (as of yet) privy to whether this tree is a real thing with a real, tangible connection to Sun. It would be easy to conclude that Sun just imagined it despite his own insistence otherwise, but in a story where semblances, magic, and gods do exist? Who knows. I hope this is going somewhere because it’s frustrating to drop something ~symbolic~ into a universe that’s supposed to be governed by concrete, magical rules and leave the reader floundering over how to categorize that.

We come back to the fight where Sun decides that Brown was “both the leader of the group and the most dangerous. Why? Because he was hiding the most.”

Hold up.

How do you know he’s “hiding the most” when they’re all wearing identical masks and doing the same, shady stuff?

Why in the world is the concept of hiding things connected to leadership?

Not going to lie, it feels like a dig at Ozpin. “Oh yes, the most secretive one must be the leader because we all know leaders do nothing but hide things. The two are so intimately linked that I can look at three people who are all acting suspicious, single out the guy who I’m assuming is a faunus based on no evidence, and thus further conclude - since he’s totally hiding that part of his identity - that he’s the leader here. Simple deduction.”

Sherlock Holmes would be ashamed.

More importantly, you know who’s also a dangerous leader who hides things?

Oh, also this guy.

But instead of acknowledging this we’re offered the simplistic explanation that this is the leader of the bad guys because only bad guys hide stuff. Right.

I’m already getting the sense that Sun’s characterization - like Ruby’s - is going to suffer in this book. They should absolutely be written better given who they were when we first met them, but both end up being mouth pieces for the weird themes the story keeps insisting on including. To be clear, I’ve got a lot of issues with Sun in this story so far, but they’re issues that I don’t think should exist. It’s not “I dislike this character” but much more “I dislike this character but that’s only because you’re making them do and say really OOC things. Give me back the version of this character we had before.” There are characters I don’t vibe with and then there are characters who should be on my wavelength but the creators went and changed course somewhere. That’s always disappointing.

(Aside #1: Can we just take a moment to acknowledge how awkward posing and answering your own question is when we’re supposed to be the PoV? That “Why? Because...” is incredibly jarring. I’m focusing on content over prose here, but the prose needs a whole lot of work in places.)

So Brown is apparently a faunus, and the leader, and hiding extra stuff because Sun says so. The two begin fighting in earnest (with Sun’s clones taking on the other two), but don’t worry, Sun has enough confidence to spare:

“Brown had some kind of martial arts training similar to Sun’s – but he wasn’t nearly as good.”

Brown proceeds to knock Sun down and disarm him. Easily.

The fact that Sun can’t land a hit on this guy then causes him legitimate shock. “‘Oh crap’, Sun thought. ‘I’m losing. How am I actually losing?’” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a second year student going up against an adversary of unknown age, origin, and skill? The confidence of all our characters is astounding to me. Doesn’t anyone ever question whether they can win a fight? Or acknowledge that losing one is expected? Both Sun and RWBYJNR seem to have come out of the Battle of Beacon thinking, “We have survived one (1) battle and therefore we are the best ever. Losing? Never heard of her.” There’s a difference between writing a confident character and writing a deluded one. Sun should not be blindsided by the fact that someone else in the world is more powerful than him.

(For the record, the eternal exception to this is Toph Beifong. They really let a tiny blind girl say, “I’m the goddamn best” and made it fact. I am, and will always, be here for that.)

Amidst this shock Sun thinks about Beacon and immediately shies away from those memories. I quite liked that. I wish the web-series did more to acknowledge how traumatizing that battle was (akin to what we got with Yang’s PTSD and Ruby’s nightmares before both were dropped), so I’m pleased to see nods to it here.

Sun is just acknowledging how he probably should have brought some friends along when a copy of Tri-Hard lands nearby. Huzzah! Velvet is here! Sun should be pleased right, especially since he was just thinking about how much he needs help?

“Great. Team CFVY (coffee) was here.”

Ugh. Well this is frustrating to read. What precisely is going on here? Sun is the guy defined by “You should always get friends involved!” Then he ditches said friends to chase after Blake. While working through this decision he finds himself in a situation where he’s alone again largely because his team is mad at him. So he’s coming to terms with how much he misses and needs those friends... only to think a sarcastic “great” when someone actually show up to help him?

He’s written as an asshole here. Velvet and Yatsuhashi save him - the three baddies use a smoke semblance to run off - but “Sun bristled at the implication that Velvet and Yatsuhashi had rescued him.” Can’t we have one character with a bit of humility? The writing attributes Sun’s attitude to a competitive school where prestige is everything. Team CFVY’s unexpected arrival and their subsequent fame seems to rankle... but we’re really going to ignore that they’re here because, you know, their school was destroyed and their headmaster murdered? I know that people think stupid, selfish things all the time (god knows I do), but it’s a bit much to have Sun be so over confident that he gets himself into serious trouble, get annoyed when he’s offered help, and then insist that he never needed that help in the first place. That kind of behavior rankles and for good reason. It’s fine as a flaw for one or two characters, but we’re seeing this across most of the main cast. Is no one able to look at someone outside their team and just go, “Thanks for the assist”?

The one redeeming part of this scene is Velvet practicing her quips. I support her attempts to sound like a cheesy action hero.

(Aside #2: There had to be a better way to deal with the team names other than writing “CFVY (coffee)”...)

As the three chat we learn that the rogue huntsmen Carmine and Bertilak may be involved with these shady characters, the missing people with powerful semblances, and I, who has not read the first book, learns about Gus, someone capable of amplifying negative emotions. There’s... a lot attached to that reveal, but I’ll leave it alone for now. It’s not fair to drag it when I’ve only gotten a passing mention.

Alongside discussing Very Important Plot Points, the group dives into Sun’s difficulties with his team:

“Besides, the guys are still a little annoyed with me for ditching them.”

“To chase a girl,” Yatsuhashi added.

“It wasn’t like that.” Not entirely. “Blake needed a friend.”

“And your team needed you,” Velvet said firmly. “After everything we saw at Beacon, with everything going on in Mistral—”

“They were fine.”

“But you’re their leader,” Yatsuhashi said.

“They’ll come around.”

“Maybe you would be able to regain their trust if you didn’t keep running off without them,” Yatsuhashi added, sheathing his great sword.

Sun narrowed his eyes. “I liked you better when you didn’t say much.”

Sun is, again, written as an asshole! It might be understandable that he wants to ignore all his mistakes, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating for those around him - or the reader. Like admitting that he needs help and then getting annoyed when he gets it, here Sun refuses to engage with the actual problems in his behavior. He won’t admit those mistakes. You ditched your team to chase after a girl. No, no, it wasn’t just about chasing her... Your team needed you. No they didn’t! You’re their leader. Pff what does that have to do with anything? It’s deny, deny, deny. On top of a mean quip at Yatsuhashi. I’m just reading this train-wreck like

I want to re-emphasize here (because I keep getting asks with the accusation) that yes, I do understand that stories need conflict and yes, I do want characters to have flaws. It’s just that lately RWBY feels like all flaws all the time, most of which are never even acknowledged as flaws. Which mean the characters aren’t improving. There are very few moments lately where I feel like our heroes are legitimately kind, or wise, or intelligent, or compassionate, and that’s making it hard to connect with them. Knowing what I do of the fountain scene with Yatsuhashi, Fox, and Neptune makes things even worse. Would it be so horrible for Sun to be happy that his friends came to help? Or not sneer at Team CFVY so much? Or admit that he messed up? It’s the amount we’re getting across the whole cast that’s a problem, alongside rejecting other conflicts that would be much more logical for the story and much more emotionally fulfilling (such as Team RWBYJNR disagreeing about anything). I find it exhausting to watch. And now read.

I did, however, like Sun calling Yatsuhashi out on his own insults:

“Besides, people have attempted [invading] before,” Sun said.

“Back when Vacuo had something valuable, like Dust,” Yatsuhashi said.

Sun whistled low. “Spoken like a true outsider. If you don’t want to turn Vacuans against you, you’ll stop making comments like that.”

Yatsuhashi looked away.

It’s a legit thing to call out. Please don’t imply that our city has no value now that we’re not producing this specific commodity. Sun expressed those feelings in a way that didn’t crucify Yatsuhashi, but let him know he’d spoken out of turn and helped him understand why he, as an individual, should care about changing his perspective (“If you don’t want to turn Vacuans against you...”). I’d say this is one of the better exchanges in the prologue, showing us unexpected sides to each character (Sun isn’t just a laughing goof, Yatsuhashi isn’t the wise Asian stereotype) without them feeling OOC.

We then end the prologue with Sun promising to help CFVY with these investigations. Offering on behalf of his team without asking, that is. I’m sure that will go over splendidly.

As a final note before I sign off, I apologize if these recaps are... bad? Lol. Yeah, we’ll be blunt and straightforward in that description. While working through this I found myself reiterating so much of what I say in the regular recaps + asks, just because these problems seem to be creeping their way into RWBY’s supplemental material too. Doesn’t mean it makes for engaging reading though. In addition, I found myself struggling to articulate thoughts on this prologue simply because I didn’t know what to make of these writing choices. What’s up with that tree? Why are Sun’s thoughts going around in a contradictory circle? What am I supposed to do with all these lines that grind the story to a halt because my brain goes, “Wait what?” The easy answer to all this is, “It’s not a well written book, Clyde” and yeah. From what I’ve read for myself and heard from others, fair enough. But I feel like there’s just enough here - that potential RWBY is known for - that I want to try and clearly lay out as much as I can... even if it still comes out a bit muddled.

It’s summer. I just finished another massive project. There’s a pandemic on. My brain is as fried as my eggs this morning. If you’re okay with the outcome of all that, stick around :D

#rwby #rwde #mymetas #Before the Dawn #BTD Recaps

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