Molly Judith Ward 🖤

After a brief hiatus, Molly has returned but found herself in a new location. She now resides in SoHo, Manhattan and has also gotten herself a new look. She is ready to take on the city with her fluffy companions and maybe find some lovers along the way.

big deep breath OK SO . ive been so excited for this comeback like idk with every new cb i feel like i get even more excited than with the precious one yk so i was really waiting for it to come out!! they released the mv while i was in class (they hate me) but during a little break not long after i managed to watch it and i was bobbing my head and swinging my feet at the sound LJKE U DONT GET IT I WAS GENUINELY SO HAPPY

honestly this is one of my fav svt albums and idk it just makes me so happy all the songs are so perfect and good there's not a single one i don't enjoy and the aesthetic is so cute and im so excited and impatient to FINALLY HAVE MY ALBUM IN MY HANDS ARGHHHH but yes this was such a success im so happy they broke so many records and they just continue to prove how talented they are wooooo

for the songs there isn't one i dislike at all but i really like SOS idk the beat js so nice and the lyrics are really good and this may be also due to me loving marshmello when i was younger but STILL !!! Diamond days makes me SOOOOO NOSTALGIC i love it so much im so glad they used kind off the same sound/sample as Shining Diamond im in love 💔💔 i think back 2 back is my fav song of the album!! i love minghaos highnote and the beat and just the overal vibe idk it stood out to me sm their voices fit the song so well im obsessed with the part around 1.30 where dino and hao sing in like a low voice? YGM BUT ITS SOOOOO GOOD just the entire song is so good i think tbh i have a soft spot for pu songs 😭😭😭😭 i haven't had much the time to really analyze yawn but the soft voices and vocals are heavenly i genuinely passed away BECAUSE YOU ARE MY BREATH 💔💔💔💔 LIKE WDYM UR MY BREATH WHY IS THIS SONG MAKING ME TEAR UP DONT EVEN LIE RNNN monster is such a fun song i just know I'll play it on repeat like fire while im walking to uni to wake me up and get me in study mode 💥💥💥 it's giving Halloween vibes and im here for it!!!! it's also just fun to me because my roommate/bsf and i bet on who sang the first line and she swore it was gyu and i swore it was vernon and today we didn't see each other much so like 1h ago she told me she saw in a lyric vid that gyu sang that line and i was like ??? girl i have weverse and i follow it religiously so ik it's both of them AND WE COULDNT AGREE BECAUSE WE DIDNT HAVE ANY PROOF so i ended up showing her weverse and it was so fun we were both right in the end and we did a silly dance LMAOOAOOOO IT WAS SO FUNNY 😻😻😻😻 but lemme tell u about headliner. FUCK THAT SONG BRO WHY AM I CRYING ??????? no it's actually my fav song along back 2 back like are u actually kidding me ???? this song makes me wanna study even more for my Korean classes like FUCK HEADLINER SO BAD 💔😭😭😭😭😭 I CRY AND LAUGH WITH YOU THIS NIGHT💔💔💔💔💔 WHERE WE OFFER ALL OUR LOVE💔💔💔💔 HOW BEAUTIFUL💔💔💔💔💔 BEVAHSE YOURE MY HEADLINER 💔💔💔💔💔 this moment when we shine together don't lie rn I'll actually kms and take a bath with my toaster like wow jumping of the 9th floor of the apartment building next door seems like such a fun activity today 😻😻😻😻😻😻

RIGHT OMG I WAS LITERALLY TUNING IN EVERYDAY AT 12 AM KST TO SEE IF THEY DROPPED FHE ANNOUNCEMENT AND WHEN THEY DID I WAS SOOOOO HYPED ‼️ like fml was SO huge i couldn’t wait for this one ALSO THE MV LITERALLY RELEASED DURING A PRACTICE FIRE DRILL FOR ME 😭😭

it genuinely is one of my faves too, like although the songs aren’t necessarily my fave of each unit (i still LOVE each one) the album was just so well put together ?? everything flowed perfectly and like usually it’ll take me like two or three listens to like some songs but i listened to the album start to finish ONCE and fell in love w EVERYTHING i’m not even kidding ❤️‍🔥 I CANR WAIT FOR MY ALBUMD TO GET HERE AYSHSHAHDJHS

right like there wasn’t a bad song at all !!! my fave has to be headliner bc it’s just so fucking emotional like woozi why u got me crying on the train home 😐😐😐 it gives me MAJOR our dawn is hotter than day vibes which i love sm !! the whole album vibes reminded me a little of you make my day a little i think it’s just me but yeah ‼️ i LOVED back 2 back too omg perf unit ALWAYS hits and YAWN OMG 😓 every track was amazing 😓😓😓 STOP THE DEBATES ON THE MONSTER FIRST LINE LMFAAOAOAO 😭😭 speaking of monster, cheol’s part.. changed me . i loved SOS too omg it gave such like band vibes ??

ALSO HELPPPPP HEADLINER’S LYRICS OMG 😓😓 my mom heard me listen to it and said “girl why are u listening to such sad lyrics..”

Hi, I’m new to your page but I love your writing so far!! I’m so happy that your back! I was wondering if I could do a match up request?

Physical appearance: I go by (they/them), 5’4”, and super scrawny. I have curly dark brown hair in a short bobbed haircut that only reaches my ears. I’ve got light olive skin that only makes by eye bags super pronounced. My face is covered in beauty marks, and I have droopy dark brown, almost black eyes. My arms are covered in tattoos of sea creatures. My hands are super tiny littered with artist callouses. I have a resting sad face with a crooked smile, as well as a VERY thick NJ accent.

Personality: Im a very perseverant and confident person, and not someone who shows a lot deep of emotion, instead I try to rationalize my own and others emotions using logic. That, or use humor to deflect serious situations. I find it incredibly easy to talk others, but I have a hard time understanding when to stop talking, and I end up running my mouth. I’m not afraid of confrontation. At the same time I have ADHD and I get over stimulated easily, making being out in public for long periods of time difficult for me.

Interests: My passion is art, specifically animation and illustration, but I’ve tried almost everything that makes me use my hands, you name it, I’ve tried it! I am also OBSESSED with marine biology omg, my room is covered in fish paraphernalia and I’m an endless encyclopedia of fish facts 😭 I also love fashion history and history in general, and I usually wear vintage clothing. Another interest of mine is traditional Japanese fashion, and you’ll usually see me out wearing my kimonos 👘

Sorry if this is to long���� Thank you so much!

(Don’t worry, it’s not too long! Also you didn’t specify gender so let me know if you would like me to redo this)

I ship you with…

Ariel!

Obviously there’s your interest with marine biology that makes her an obvious choice but there’s so much more! I think your personalities are quite different and you would be able to help each other out, Ariel could help you push your boundaries and explore and you can help her think through her actions and not just do the first thing she thinks of. She would love your tattoos and would adore looking at them and seeing all the different creatures. And the two of you could talk about different marine wildlife for hours! Ariel would also love your art and would encourage you to pursue it and would be your number 1 hype man.

Thank you for your request

Heey!

I would love for you to write me a BoB-Ship :))

I'm about 5' 4" tall and have long blonde hair and blue/grey eyes.

I work in a real estate agency and speak three languages: English, French, and German.

In my free time I love to write stories, read books, dance, sing and go out with friends (a little drinking is always involved ;)) And I'm a smoker.

I am a real extrovert and open to new things. A lot of people would describe me as creative in every way. I am an absolutely chaotic person in all my life. Sometimes in my head, I'm far ahead of the conversation we are having right now.

I'm a real dreamer, but also I'm a typical Pisces. I'm sentimental and sensitive, and I love to help others with their problems, maybe even before I try to work out my own ;)

The most important thing for me is to have fun in life and my friends and family are the most important things in it. I'm a loyal friend, but I will never forget if you "betray" me.

Hope you can work something out :)

Thank you so much! x

Thank you for your request! I’m stunned cos I honestly feel like I relate to you sm as a person and a lot of your characteristics described !!

I ship you with… Floyd Talbert!!

First of all you and Floyd would literally be a beautiful couple, like oh my god, the intensity and attraction between the two of you would be instant?!

the first time he saw you would most likely be in a pub or something social seeing as you’re both very social people. He’d practically get lost in your eyes- and don’t tell anybody- but he stumbled over his words the very first time he introduced himself.

sounds very typical, but Floyd has a thing for blonde hair, just the way it cascaded down your back and framed your face- oh my god Floyd was in love.

Kinda gets portrayed as a womaniser? But seriously he’s young and attractive, of course he’s gonna find the attention fun.

but he’s fiercely loyal, like his friendship with Winter’s.

Pretty soon after he gets to know you his eyes are only focused on you. I feel like he’s deffo got a high sex drive- so be prepared.

but nah when he finds out you can speak not just two- but three different languages?! Oh my god he’s amazed, constantly would get you to teach him different languages just cos it turns him on hearing you speak it.

if you speak German to Liebgott, Tab deffo gets a little jealous cos you’re so beautiful and oh my god- Liebgott stop flirting with her in German.

can speak broken parts of German, so he shoots daggers at Liebgott who practically smirks back in his direction.

when it’s been long enough& you’re both comfortable would deffo announce you as ‘his girl’ and is soooo fucking proud to walk around with you.

His fav thing to do is take you out to soo many different places and keep an arm around your waist. Every now and then will deffo give ur butt a quick grab followed by the cheekiest smirk.

the two of you would deffo make such a chill couple? Like your bond is so so strong and there’s so much trust between you.

if you wanna go out with the girls then go ahead, wear whatever the fuck you want- he’s so fucking good for you like omg. Wouldn’t dare stop you having a good time because ew, he’s your boyfriend not your owner? Finds it weird when people are overbearing.

always there to open the front door for you when you come home from drinking- deffo would make you some kinda drunk snack (maybe he’s not the best cook but he can make a banging cheese toasty).

Would wipe your makeup off and tuck your hair out of your face- omg he’d deffo kiss your forehead too and the two of you would just be so so so fucking in love I can’t.

tells you he loves you like so often- always wants to kiss you and isn’t afraid of PDA- not too much but, he can’t stay tf away from you he’s obsessed.

flirts with you despite being together for years- always gives you the eyes and sometimes he literally pours at you to get what he wants.

Gets random bursts of energy or excitment whilst you’re reading and just launches himself on top of you?

wants to wrestle with you.

loves a play fight and sharing a cigarette after.

expect him to steal your cigarettes- the man always forgets to buy his own.

would buy you a pack in return as well as some flowers.

your conversations would be fucking everywhere, kinda like with Babe? The two of you are so chatty and other people might struggle to follow along?

Expect him to match your levels of chaos and open mindedness. Tab wants somebody he can have fun with and has 100% found that in you.

obsessed with the idea of having sex in every single state in America with you? Don’t ask me why- the two of you probably get through about 30 before your interests turn elsewhere.

Maybe when Chuck gets shot and Tab is clearly frustrated he confides in you? Literally just wraps himself around you desperate for a hug???

kinda needy when he’s had a bad day.

your sensitivity is a perfect match for him, he needs it after all the trauma he’s faced, so the fact he can be vulnerable with you and just hide his face in your neck is all he ever needs.

pls give him cuddles.

maybe tab isn’t the most sentimental? Like sometimes he might not understand it, but when you maybe surprise him with a younger picture of the pair of you for his birthday it literally makes him cry??

Cries cos he’s found such a perfect fucking partner that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you?

the honeymoon stage ending? Hell no, you sound like such a fun person Tab looks forwards to seeing you after you’ve been apart for 2 hours?

finds it sexy that u can sing and dance omg.

gives you the biggest heart eyes.

your priorities of friends and family really aligns with Tabs. You two have no trouble or disagreements in arranging plans or visiting family. The two of you thrive of socialising with who you’re closest to.

Tab wants babies and dogs with you- maybe even a farm? Tells you this fairly soon.

expect lots of baby making, thanks.

would never EVER dare disrespect or betray you. If anybody does this to you Floyd cuts them out of his life- gets angry if it’s another man getting too weird with you.

been in one or two physical fights over you? Isn’t afraid to punch somebody for you.

isn’t unreasonable for it either, the asshole probably deserved it.

gets touchy feely when he’s drunk, wants you to kiss him, sit on his lap, dance with him? He’s obsessed with you.

nope nope nope- you being a Pisces and Tab being a Virgo would be more perfect OMG. When I was researching this it was so so fitting.

You bring out a more spontaneous side of him that he didn’t realise you had- you make life fun for him, literally just what he needed.

he also maybe brings you down from day dreaming? Helps you whenever you need and literally can’t do enough for you.

stops you from daydreaming cos he literally IS a dream himself???

lots of babies and doggies eventually. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I ship you platonically with… Babe Heffron!!

This friendship is chaos central.

you and babe could talk for England. Could probably save everybody else from A LOT of awkward situations by talking your way out of it.

babe is an extremely loyal friend. Would definitely give you some of his rations just because???

Values your loyalty so much and has your back omfg.

if anybody chats one thing bad about you they’ll feel the wrath of Babe. Legit won’t speak to them for a good month because of it????

Iconic duo, seriously.

if you’re looking for fun Babe can a million percent provide that.

genuinely feels so much happy for you in anything you do.

Puts his head on your shoulder when he’s sad- Tab gets a little pouty about this.

gets protective/ worried about you during the war.

especially after he lost Julian and then Bill was wounded, he’s so so scared you’ll get taken away from him?

genuinely thinks you are THE best friend ever and he is that to you.

wants you to name one of your pets after him or some weird shit? Idk but you one up that and if you have any children name them after him.

cries at your and Tabs wedding.

you cry at his wedding.

The two of you burst out laughing in the WORST situations. In church, in prayer- you name it.

seriously friends for the rest of your lives omg let me have this

~~~~~~ nooooo I seriously had too much fun writing this, Tab is my FAV and I feel like I was writing about myself? Idk who u are but I feel like we’re the same person.

Two weekends ago was full of fun and activity and then I went to New Orleans for work and this past weekend was a lot of downtown.

On Friday, my old friend Kirstin, who I have been friends with for nearly 15 years now, stopped by with her son. The kiddos are about 1.5 years apart, but they had the best time playing together. It was nice for the adults to just sit and chat too. Keegan later asked if "that boy" could come back. Unfortunately, they live about 2+ hours away.

Post-run and soccer, we went to go see firetrucks! There is an annual firetruck competition that is free for spectators so we went and walked around for about an hour. Keegs is totally obsessed with firetrucks, so this was a blast for him. He couldn't get over how many there were.

Post-lunch and nap, we met Jenny, Bob and Eliza at a new-to-us park. The park was very cool, with tons of equipment, including some kind of mister they were obsessed with. After that, we stopped by a local winery for some treats for the adults and were joined by Nads.

I was too nervous to run alone outside Thursday before dawn, so I ran easy on the treadmill with the Peloton app keeping me company. I kind of hate the treadmill, but I was grateful that I had the opportunity to run. After that, it was a log day of conferencing. That night, I grabbed drinks at another reception and then went to see HANSON! I was totally on the fence because it would be late and blah blah blah but I went and am so glad I did. I had so much fun.

I didn't get home until after 11 (omg!) and I had an early flight. But my body still had me up, so I went to the gym for a little then packed and got ready to go. Thankfully, my first flight went smoothly. I had a 3+-hour layover in Atlanta, but I ate a great gf pizza and then just walked laps around the airport because it is gigantic. My flight home was delayed and I was panicking, but it ended up just being 20 minutes and I was in the door by 6.

It was so good to see Keegan! I don't think he missed me too much, we talked every morning and FaceTimed every evening. It was just good to give him a big snuggle.

Gale Reacts: Rocketear (no subs)

LIVE REACTION NO SUBS.

spoilers below

My Portuguese is shoddy (but being able to speak spanish helps)

Dinosaurs are real. I S*** YOU NOT. DINOSAURS ARE REAL. I already LOVE THIS EPISODE. ITS NOT CAUSE AN AKUMA. ITS JUST F***ING DINOSAURS! Which means Jurassic park is canon in ML.

-Im glad Chat noir got to help out Ladybug and Carapace

-So Bob roth wants them for a movie OF F***ING COURSE

-Nino is wondering why Alya/Rena Rouge wasnt there. Daww

-Rena explaining her new form is her suit compensating! I KNEW IT WASNT A POTION! SUCK IT EVERYONE WHO SAID I WAS WRONG

-NINO THOUGHT THEY WERE BREAKING UP BABY NO! She says the lie that she isnt rena rouge anymore. Which Nino was fine with. But she is lying.

-Alya wants to post on the ladyblog about her new power stuff BUT marinette says no. (Marinette being proud of alya for doing the right thing)

-Oh... Nino thinks Alya be hiding something else! OH THIS REMINDS ME OF MY ABUELA'S NOVELAS

-Marinette wingwomaning like a pro.

-so thats why they went to the movie.

-Nino still sus.

-OH NINO IS PISSED AT THE MOVIE! side note, Rena rouge looks SO WEIRD IN 2D

-Alya trying to explain its just movie crap.

-But Alya acting sus and Nino being the perfect gentleman but being ignored.

-Nino decides to get ice cream for them by Andre. Why do I feel like this will go wrong.

-OH GOSH NO! LADYBUG NOT NOW! DO NOT RUIN MY DJWIFI!

-And now Nino is more sus!

-Cheek kiss was cute tho

-DUDE! The universe really wants nino to think he is getting cucked by chat noir

-Nino is obsessing. But to be honest, with the amount of coincidences I REALLY cant blame him for being suspicious.

-"DUDE CHAT NOIR IS STEALING MY GIRL!"

-Adrien laughs and tells him to relax. Something about jagged stone being more likely to be trying for alya I think? It was hard to catch. Basically saying highly unlikely or Jagged stone... likes em young (shudders). I am going to assume the former.

-Okay so I think i figured it out before This even happens. Adrien to go talk to alya and assure that she ISNT crushing on him. Plagg did NOT help this situation.

-And nino is going to go investigate and see this misunderstanding!

-OMG he is acting like a NOIR DETECTIVE. NINO I F***ING LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

-Also that SAX THO!

- Nino is a master of disguise.

-OH NO! Nino arrived right there. That looks so bad!

-Chat noir talks WAY TO FAST to translate! But I think I get what he is saying

-Okay I got it! So Alya thought he was sus of her but really when she found out he thought she was into him she clears up the misunderstanding.

-But to Nino it looks SO BAD.

-But Alya assures him that is NOT the case. Which Chat noir is RELIEVED TO HEAR. The Alynoir is cute tho.

-BUT POOR NINO!

-Damn, I gotta give the VA props. Nino sounds Heartbroken. I actually feel a bit choked up

-...OMG HE IS BACK TO HIS HABIT OF BLOWING BUBBLES. DID...DID NINO NOT GO HOME?!

-NINO TURNED THE BOILER ROOM INTO A DETECTIVE OFFICE! I

CANT!

-Bubbles are like his cigerattes

-He shows the proof

-He had music playing! for the detective effect.

-Adrien explaining how there couldnt be anything between them. Them being alya and Chat noir. He is trying to convince his heartbroken friend.

-If I could understand the entire thing, I would say this is the best adrien nino exchange I have ever seen. Adrinino is strong

-NINO TOLD ADRIEN... THAT ALYA IS RENA ROUGE! OH SHIT.

-Which Nino explains is how Chat noir could have fallen for Rena Rouge

-Adrien is pissed cause he is wondering how Nino knows Rena Rouge is Alya

-And Adrien also finds out Nino is Carapace. Oh WOW! THIS ANGST POTENTIAL!

-And Adrien is trying to stay calm here but he is clearly shaken that Ladybug didnt tell him this. And Nino assumes Chat noir already knew. OH WOW!

-Oh is pissed, but using it as a way to say that Chat noir didnt know anything. Oh DOUBLE DAMN! I cant tell who is getting angrier.

-Nino said something that just SHOOK Adrien. Something about giving him the miraculous all the time.

-Okay so Adrien processed the stuff. That Carapace is Nino, Alya is Rena. But he asks how he knows that Chat noir would know that.

-So basically (if I am right) Nino thinks that after countless rejections from Ladybug, Chat noir decided to go for the next best heroine, Rena Rouge.

-Nino's acting this out is amazing

-Nino is heart broken. And wants to punch out chat noir

-HE CRIED TEARS FOR YOU GIRL!

-Well I will give Nino this. Gotta put it to bed. Nino CANT be Luka. Cause he actually gets upset when the woman he loves might be in love with another guy.

-SHADOWMOTH YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU BASTARD!

-Adrien is trying to calm him down.

-oh no.... ADRIEN RUN!

-Nino accepts and ROCKETEAR IS HERE.

-PLAGG NOT NOW!

-Chat noir, NOT A SMART IDEA!

-Rocketear ready to rip open the cat's ass

-Alya explained what happened to marinette and the girl just shakes her head.

-ROCKETEAR CHUCKED A CAR AT CHAT NOIR!

-WEAPONIZED TEARS!

-Chat noir is trying to calm him down.

-Alya now feels like its her fault.

-THEY FOUND THE OFFICE

-ITS STILL PLAYING THE NOIR MUSIC! I F***ING CANT. And they found the phone

-Marinette ... looked a touch bit concerned. Or am i just wearing my clown nose.

-Alya explains but Marinette says its a problem.

-Lucky charm is a projecter.

-I dont understand the plan.

-Yo! Chat noir actually putting on a good fight despite NOT wanting to fight nino and trying to explain. Haven seen him fight this well since Gang of secrets, so nice change of pace.

-FOOL NO! DONT THROW THE BATON!

-CHAT NOIR YOU IDIOT!

-Okay that looked REALLY F***ING PAINFUL.

-Was... Was nino about to blow his head off?!

-OH I GET IT. The projection will show the rest of the evening with the help of rena's mirage! THAT IS GENIUS

-Okay thats cute.

-DAMN THAT ALYNINO IS TOPS

-Nino appologizing for that.

-Wiping his tears

-MY HEART IS SO FULL RIGHT NOW I CANT

-NINO BROKE FREE! MY BOY!!!!!

-I AM SO PROUD.

-Okay this is my favorite akuma of season 4.

-Shadowmoth being salty

-Nino gets a ladybug charm

-Nino appologizing

-Oh Chat noir almost let it slip that he knew about Carapace and Rena Rouge. But... didnt.

-Adrien is now salty, saying something about Ladybug not trusting him with that. But plagg points out he has no reason to be.

-But Adrien just feels it but seems to simmer down.

-Correction! she told Nino everything! Alya tells nino everything!

-Wow so only adrien is getting no trust. Damn

____________________________________________________________

I NEED THE ENGLISH SUB SO I CAN FULLY APPRECIATE THE DETECTIVE NINO BITS!

This maybe my new favorite episode of season 4.

VHS Christmas Carol Live Thoughts

OMGGGGGG STARKID LIVE AND ON STAGE TOGETHER AGAIN AAAAAAHHHHH

They let more people sing different parts of Bah Humbug and omg that's great

We get more harmonies!!

JANAYA

Scrooge, Fredge's nephew

Fred teasing his uncle is so cute!!

Sorry still screaming about people singing different parts

They way I almost forgot the interlude into 3 Spirits. As soon as it started I was smiling so hard (harder than I already was). I forgot how much I loved that and it was so much more epic this time

Scrooge and Marley's interactions are so funny. They are so annoyed with each other. Jacob is questioning why he's even helping this guy

WOOOO WOOOOO THE GHOSTS LETS GOOOOOOO

I don't remember every interlude from last year but I believe all (or at least most of them) are new and I'm obsessed. Especially for the ghosts intros

I am OBSESSED what they did with Christmas Past. They added so much to her character through little things. The way she teases Scrooge about being uncomfortable with his past. The way she's so eager to move on after each scene. When she pulls the cigarette showing her working out is mostly for show because pleasure over health. I love her. She's so shady

JANAYA!!!!!!

That Scrooge hits so much harder seeing Scrooge and Belle interact. She loved him and you can see it

When Brian came in for the interlude I absolutely lost it

HIS INTRO IS SO EPIC EVERYTHING IT SHOULD BE WHAT HE DESERVES

I was watching with my mom and I kept saying "Here comes the boy!!!"

I'm not really a fan of the wig. LOVING his light up shoes. It's what he deserves. Those shoes are everything I want for him

THEY LET JAMES HAVE A DANCE BREAK OMGGGGGG

AND THEY ADDED MORE CHOREO THAT YOU KNOW IM LEARNING

SCREAMING AND CRYING CHRISTMAS PRESENT I LOVE YOU I WANT TO JOIN THE PARTY

We got drunk Scrooge good for us

Oh woah we got way more kids than last year

JOEY CARRYING BRIAN OMG

Bob and Emily are so incredibly in love and you can feel it. The way they look at each other 🥺🥺. They deserve everything

When they started encouraging the audience to clap along !!!! Yes being together really is a treasure excuse me while I ball my eyes out

I don't feel so good-

Shout out to that moment in Final Ghost where they had AJ play unnamed Brian character's partner instead of Meredith

THAT JACKET REVEAL

OMG ALI

Scrooge is vibing so hard that man really is drunk with joy

I believe Fred forgiving Scrooge so much more this time. Last year I got the vibes that Fred only really talked to Scrooge because he's family. This time I got the vibes that he actually really loves and cares for his uncle and has just learned to deal with his grumpiness. I'm happy Scrooge is finally reciprocating that love

Bob and Scrooge's hug 🥺🥺 I am being so normal about this right now

Yes yes starkid I will spread the Christmas electricity. I don't celebrate Christmas but that won't stop me

ALSO the lighting was AMAZING

I thought with it being live it would loose the music video feeling but no. The screen in the back was great

These extra bits of choreo. I need to learn this before my ticket expires. They looks so fun

I loved this so so so much I'm about to rewatch it right now

The Difference one Woman can make.

Late Friday night in June, we had stopped for a burger on the way to the cinema, we used to do family movie nights at the cinema when a new film came out that the majority of us wanted to watch, this time I was the one who was reluctant to go, sadly we do this significantly less now.  So, stubborn 2015 me, rolling her eyes and dragging her feet up the cinema steps to find our seats to watch the new Jurassic World movie. Pathetic! I thought, why pay money to watch a movie about a dinosaur theme park! My parents had completely lost it! Huffing and puffing I took my seat on the aisle and sipped my blue raspberry slushie and looked up at the big screen. Ugh! I wanted it to be over, quickly. I sat down and shut my mouth, despite not wanting to watch it, I wasn’t going to spoil it for the others; but I didn’t get why they would want to watch it, I watched the trailer before going, was not impressed, it looked dumb!

However, as much as my pre-Jurassic self would not like, I found who I was during that movie, I discovered a whole new admiration for actors and movies. I found that I related to the main female protagonist, Claire Dearing. She did not need a man, or children, she was so focused on her career and let no one boss her around. She was top dog, and I completely fell for this fictional character. I evolved through that movie with her character, I felt content with being a strong female who put career over family. I wanted to embody this fictional woman; I wanted to be her.

On the journey home I typed ‘Claire Dearing actress’ into google and saw this stunning redhead- Bryce Dallas Howard. I immediately recognised her from movies I had watched prior, and I was completely astounded at her range of characters she can portray and portray them well. After scrolling through her Wiki page and reading news articles about her, I learned that she is the daughter of Ron Howard, one of my parents’ favourite people in film.

“Dad, that woman in the movie is Ron Howard's daughter”, I needed to inform my family that my now favourite woman in film is the daughter of my parents’ favourite people in film. My parents were shocked that I enjoyed the movie despite my loud vocalisation of not wanting to watch it.

Googling ‘Bryce Dallas Howard’ became my new after school routine, learning that she applied to acting school as Bryce Dallas to avoid people knowing she is the daughter of an already famous actor and director, and she had met her true love at nineteen and is still happily married to him. Yet what most stuck out to the self-conscious, body hating 2015 me, was that Bryce wasn’t a skinny twig of a woman that you see in most movies, she had classy curves and promoted body positivity despite some backlash the media gave her. I made a connection with this woman I had never met because I too received negative comments about my figure, yet Bryce took that on the shoulder and learned to love herself. I wanted to feel that self-love about myself that she acquired.

After watching Jurassic World, I explored many more fandoms, and from there I became obsessed with movie franchises and TV shows, actors and directors. I could not give you a full list of all of the fandoms I am in, there are too many to count, and they have all played a role in helping me evolve to who I am today. All because I latched onto one character from one movie I did not even want to watch, one film got me hooked on this life: it’s like a drug. I cannot stop. I also went back and forth with my hairstyle due to this woman; in the movie Bryce has a stunning ginger graduated bob with a fringe, however I never had the guts to go ginger until now; shame the hairdressers are all shut.

Now, almost six years later Bryce Dallas Howard has had great success in directing two episodes of The Mandalorian. Over the Christmas break I watched the show with my dad, sat on the sofa, fire lit, the chocolate Labrador curled up between us, peach vodka and diet lemonade in my hand, hot cup of tea in my dad’s. We binge watched both seasons in a week (it’s amazing) and he was shocked to see ‘Directed by Bryce Dallas Howard’ at the end of one, let alone two episodes. “Shit, she’s come far in the past few years” he said putting another episode on.

Bryce allowed me to find my best friend, Iz, through Instagram; Bryce has brought so many people together it is so surreal. And when I found out that Iz was going to Southampton University in 2019, a 20-minute drive from my house, I was finally able to meet her, because of one woman we both adore. I was friends with Iz for three years before I was able to meet her, I asked my school friend to come along with me so she could film the moment Iz, and I met! We got pancakes and watched the second Maleficent movie at the cinema, it was one of the best days of my life. I was so thankful that I met a truly hilarious and loving girl through this one actress! Because of Bryce Dallas Howard, I have made so many other friends from all over the globe as they too idolise Bryce and together we have created the ‘BDH online family’. A small group of us do regular zoom calls to catch up and chat about the recent photos and updates that Bryce has posted on Instagram, talk about Covid-19 and the types of restrictions and lockdown rules each of our countries has. During one of our calls, we had the craziest idea- Invite Bryce to one of our zoom calls. Bryce said yes! And after a few months of organisation, we had the date. The date was-

My.

Birthday.

The day came around and I was so nervous, it was 11pm exactly. The Wi-Fi had cut out fifteen minutes before the call. I was in tears. Mascara down my face, puffy eyes, I joined the call with a few minutes to spare before Bryce joined it. My mum hung around off camera for the first 5 minutes to double check the Wi-Fi was stable, luckily it stabilised. The other girls had never been so glad to see me, everyone was panicked for me; I could not miss it for the world (despite telling my parents, in floods of tears, that I cannot join and that it’s the end of that).

“Kat! You’re here!” “Happy birthday!” “Are you okay? The Wi-Fi sorted?”

They all chimed, happy to see my little face in the bottom right corner of their computer screens. Luckily Iz was there, otherwise it would have been extremely awkward with only one of us since we are known as a duo in the online family, we have to do everything together, we come in a pair and there can’t just be one of us.

“Shit girls, that was stressful”

I hadn’t realised I was holding my breath until I exhaled the large breath when my    Wi-Fi settled, and I was on the call, I fixed my makeup and was ready to meet Bryce.

The few minutes we had before Bryce joined were intense, two of the girls left to get a drink and we weren’t sure if they would be back in time, luckily they did return.

“No way!” One of them, Anna who was hosting the call, gasped “Bryce is in the waiting room!”

We all freak for no more than 10 seconds, we compose ourselves then our faces are reshuffled, and we see this stunning glowing face that we all admire smiling at us. Omg, it's her.

“Hi girls!”

I have never smiled for so long in my entire life, my cheeks hurt afterwards. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining at all, it just hurt as I thought I would only be smiling for half an hour, since that is how long we were told Bryce had. However, we were speaking to Bryce for nearly an hour and a half, she just kept talking and asked us questions! She was so lovely to talk to, so relaxed; it was if I was talking to a friend that I had known for years!

“Before we go I want to all sing Kat a happy birthday!”

My idol wanted to sing me a happy birthday! The other girls were really ecstatic for me, I still can’t believe to this day that The Bryce Dallas Howard wanted to sing to me!

It was both the best and the worst happy birthday song that has be sung to me. It was the best because, well my idol was singing to me! And proposed the singing! It was the worst in terms of the actual song as they were all out of sync and lagging, it was bloody hilarious!

At 10:27pm the next evening, watching a rerun of Game of Thrones on Sky, I got a notification ‘Brycedhoward just posted’, I clicked the notification then see our smiling faces on her page, she posted a screenshot of our call on her social media! The call was supposed to be a secret so other fans weren’t upset. There’s a few snotty comments on the post, but they’re just jealous and to be frank, I don’t care! My smiley face is on her page forever! All ten of us have printed the screenshot of Bryce’s post off and put it in a frame, one day all ten of us hope to congregate somewhere, most likely in America, and sign the backs of all of our photos. I’m still in utter awe and shock-  How many celebrities have you seen that would do a free zoom call with some fans? Not a lot, and that amount is even slimmer when they talk for an extra hour than scheduled. Bryce truly is one of a kind and the best idol anyone could ever hope to have.

Compared to a zoom call with Bryce herself, the few times she has liked my comments on her posts feel like nothing in comparison! I remember being so excited, running downstairs to my parents.

“Mum! Dad! Bryce liked my comment! She knows I exist!”

“Was it actually her? Remember when you got a Facebook request from Robert Downey Jr and it turned out it was a fake account?”

I rolled my eyes at her, it was Bryce, it was her verified account. The comment was a book recommendation I had for her, she posted on her hashtag BDHbookshelf and I thought I’d take a chance and comment a book recommendation I had for her, and the chance paid off.

I cannot wait to see what the future holds with Bryce, she has been such an inspiration to me for the past few years, and she promotes such wonderful causes and body positivity! I hope to one day meet her and thank her in person for changing my life for the better, and I think I’ve come up with the perfect opportunity to meet her- Iz and I have decided to travel up to London for the Jurassic World Dominion premiere in 2022 (if Covid lets us!), we’d get a hotel and actually meet Bryce in person, as well as meeting other members of the online family!

Words cannot fully contain the admiration that I possess for Bryce, her soul is utterly and truly exquisite, she has been such a visionary while I’ve been transitioning from a girl who had no idea who she was with no dreams or aspirations, to a woman who has now found so many new friends and now knows who she wants to be.  

Survey #451

“taste the waste of their god’s grace & spit your hate upon your young”

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube? A shitload of people. Do you like to go to the farmer's market? Yeah, sure. What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be? Probably black. What's your favorite melon? I don't really like melons, actually. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :( When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? Literally every day. Seriously. It's funny, I dread fighting to sleep at night, but I also just want it to be time to sleep so time will pass. My life is just so fucking boring that I just... wait for something exciting to happen. Name one person you've never had a fight with: Tez. What are you currently listening to? "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment. What would you rather have: cat or dog? I prefer cats. Who is your least favorite person in real life? Probably my sister's husband. Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really? I'll sometimes watch live let's plays. Does your house have security cameras? No. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I'll be dyeing it. What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened? I'm not sure. What soundtrack do you listen to the most? Silent Hill 2's, definitely. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I don't know if it's really a secret, but I didn't know until this year that my dad did some really dangerous drugs before us kids were born. Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you? Yes. What’s something you like to have many options to choose from? Food, ha ha. Feels great to have a full kitchen after a grocery trip. What’s the strangest decorative object you own? Nothing "strange" to me. What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now? One biggie is having a baby. I just... could not imagine. My life would plummet. What’s been your proudest moment? Graduating in the top percentile in my high school graduating class. What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen? Omfg, Sausage Party. That movie was so gross. Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals? Thankfully, no. I don't even think I could befriend someone who doesn't like animals. Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts? No. Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal? Yeah, like me with whale sharks. Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer? Not really, no. Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills? Amy Lee's. And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand? Yeah, such as Bob Dylan. Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf? Tui T. Sutherland, but only because I read their series Wings of Fire. Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today? I'm sure on Facebook at some point. Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? Does the freezer count? If so, this Healthy Choice grilled chicken pesto bowl I have in there. I am like addicted to them. Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately? I don't know. If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it? It varies month-to-month. Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to? I had my Markiplier tattoo essentially redone by a better artist. I also plan on getting my "ohana" tat covered, as well as my "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" one (I adore the quote, but it's not an original design, which I don't like having anymore), and I want to move and redesign my "perfectly flawed" one because I want a bigger tattoo in its location. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind? Yeah; I'm pretty sure I like-like my friend Girt now, something I was never entirely sure about. When was the last time you did something on a whim? *shrug* Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Well, I guess both, but Dad didn't do a lot of the teaching part about life and stuff. Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week? No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’ Yes. Colleen tried that with me and Girt and only succeeded in making us very uncomfortable. She said something I wanted to slap her for that I won't repeat. What is your card game of choice? Magic: The Gathering. What is your favourite books series? I think my favorite series of all time was the Shiloh trilogy. I adored both the books and movies. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? You'd better give me landmarks, ha ha. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Of course. What was your favourite gym class moment? There're such things as GOOD gym memories in school? Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yes. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? No, I always thought it was very flattering that they even wanted mine. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie? The Phantom Virus one. I had the video game as a kid, too. Could never beat the damn thing. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down? No? I don't like seeing children - or anyone - fall. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past? So, this really only happened once, and it was coincidentally the day I learned of her pancreatic cancer, but before Mom told me. I had an assignment to interview someone of an older generation about how various sources of media affected their lives, like the development of TV and such, and she really got into it. It was very interesting to learn about. Do you have a crush on someone? I guess I do idfk. If so... what does his/her name begin with? "D." What attracts you to them? More than anything, the fact he's been there for me without fail. Both single and when I was with Jason and he was interested in me, he's just... been there and has made an effort since high school to be in my life in one way or another. Do they know that you like them? Not anymore, no. We dated for a few months, but I broke up with him because he felt more like my brother, so I would assume he doesn't think I do. Maybe he still is family to me. I really don't know what I feel. If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? I might at some point, idk. We just haven't talked in a while. Name two people that you miss: Jason and Megan. Have you ever seen Titanic? When I was in the hospital, yes. Everyone was crying, lmao. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No, but I would. When was the last time you had a stomachache? Now. Mother Nature finally visited me after three whole fucking months and is v angry. What's going to bed early for you? Like 7:00. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Of pets! Human kids ain't for me. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Hell if I know. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes. I got Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? I did on my second dosage. I was OUT of it the day afterwards, but then I was fine. What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself? I need new bras badly. What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? It's called "Not Just A Pet Rock (Python regius)" and is a group for advanced ball python husbandry. It is very informative, but I will say there is a SHITLOAD of very rude elitists. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? NO because it's a PANCAKE and I want CAKE. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? I personally think so. When Sara visited and we were trying to go to my older sister's so she especially could meet her, Ash entirely ignored Mom's messages. I know her homophobic husband well enough to nearly be able to guarantee he didn't want us coming over because the kids "don't need to see that." Ash kinda does what Nick says, so... you know. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I know I'm happier with pets. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. What’s your favorite way to curl your hair? It's too short to do that. At what age did you start swearing? However old I was in 7th grade. What is something you physically can’t do? Clean up vomit lkdsjal;sdkjfa;lkwd. I can't clean up my pet's or even my own. I literally can't. My mom has to. What do like better, apples or oranges? Apples. I don't like oranges. Around the holidays, do you hope for snow? Yes!!! What are your top two favorite bands? Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica. How many people do you 100% trust? Like two. Maybe. Do you care what others think about you? Way too much. Has anyone ever called you a bitch? My grandmother has. Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger? Omg yes, I was obsessed. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat? No. Not because I don't want to, because I do, but I would have an extreme protein deficit if I did that. Besides meat, I don't like enough protein-rich foods. Have you ever had a rolling backpack? Yes. Did you make any money today? I haven't made any money in a very, very long time. I'm only ever paid when someone hires me to take pictures for them. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I don't know. Definitely not very high. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? I have zero clue. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? Hm. Perhaps this techno-y remix of "Psychosocial" by Slipknot. I don't know for sure, though. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Either the violin or piano. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Nope. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)? Probably clouded leopards aesthetics, but I think lions overall. If you had $500,000, what would you do with it? Pay off school debt as well as help Mom with various financial issues, buy new glasses, buy Mom and I a new house and car, get Venus a great tank with all the optimal supplies, get LOADS of tattoos, donate to various charities, adopt a few specific pets, travel to Yellowstone, get laser hair removal on my legs and teeth whitening... There are a lot of possibilities. Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid? Just scaly ones. :') "First loves are never really over." Is this true for you? Yeeeep... Did you like Michael Jackson before he died? I didn't really have an opinion on him. I know/like a couple songs, sure. What are some things that would make you break up with someone? If they became abusive, started doing drugs, acted arrogantly, didn't understand my mental conditions and were unwilling to be emotionally supportive, stuff like that. What was the worst breakup you've ever had? Ha, the one with Jason. For. Fucking. Sure.

16-22

16. What thread that’s not your own do you remember watching closely?

I will do ANOTHER one! I literally was joining as the giant Coral fight was happening and I remember watching it so closely like HOLY SHIT and that was def part of the reason I got Aquata because I was so obsessed with the Tritons

17. What locations do you normally use?

Hatters ALL THE TIME, mainly for gossip blog reasons. I also do a lot of stuff at Pride U, in the Forest of Enchantra, at Tiana’s Place, and at Chippamunka

18. Pitch three different plots for characters that aren’t your own? What plotting opportunities may your peers be overlooking/missing out on!? 

       1. I wanna shout out the cheerleading squad of Mei, Su, and Ferb and I would like to encourage them to cheerlead for a non sport thing. Like, maybe they do a fundraiser where they follow you around and cheer for you like in that Zoey 101 episode or they have a COMPETITION and drama ensues maybe someone gets DROPPED i would just like to see more of this because I love it

      2. SOMEONE SHOULD GO ON LOVE ISLAND. SWYNLAKE IS FULL OF INFLUENCERS. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. GO ON LOVE ISLAND.

      3. Would love to see the Adults of Swynlake have some kind of petty small town organization like a PTA or HOA. I keep wanting to get a parent character for this reason. 

19. Write some love for three Muns of your choice!

Oh man who do I even pick!!!!

McKala, we’ve really been through it all together lol. I don’t know if you remember or even realize this but back in the olden days when shit would go down in our old rp I remember we would just side chat about music and stuff and it would make me feel so much more calm and I just think you are such a wonderful amazing person who cares SO MUCH and puts your WHOLE HEART into things and I just really appreciate that about you. And I’m so happy I get to keep writing with you <3 @mrsrcbinscn

Sid, MY BRO <3 You were the first person I plotted with when I first came back and you are just so thoughtful and intentional and such an amazing writer. I literally could not believe my eyes that there was already a Ferb in the RP when I brought Phineas (and tbh... I am not sure I would have brought him if not for you so thank you so much for that). And I also really love Henry and Eric so much, they are such a unique and special dynamic and I love that our niche is just boys with really deep bonds. Oh and I also have to say your description of Bob and Charlie literally made me tear up you are so talented and I’m so lucky to get to write with you!!! @maritimeericandersen​ 

Silv, you are a worldbuilding genius and I love this unique story we’ve built with our girls and I’m so excited to see where it goes. Whenever I see I have a message from you I’m so excited!! And you are genuinely such a kind and understanding person not to mention HILARIOUS Flynn is so funny and amazing and I remember watching that Lobster Palace stuff go down and truly I still don’t understand but I thought it was so great and I just love off the wall muses. Like your RANGE omg. I am in AWEEE @all-a-man-has

20. Write some love for three Muses of your choice!

LACHLANN FREAKING MCNABB: Name a guy who is more involved in his community, more willing to befriend a total stranger no matter how batshit, more ready to literally expend his financial resources just because someone is going through it!!! Launchpad is the definition of community and honestly it makes me wanna do more stuff with him and Tiana... remind me to hit you up. Btw thank you x100000 Jean for giving me that beautiful quitting thread for Tiana with him I just really admire your ability to take things to a crazy new level and you’re never afraid to dive in and take a risk @lachlann-macnab​

Rapunzel!!! I’m so glad Sloane brought her back because she is so sweet and I really love this direction she is going in where she’s looking to redefine her sense of family. I think quite a few characters are dealing with similar things and I really want to see that happen for her <3 @rapunzelcorcna​

Pip/Boba: Pip is always rent free in my head but especially lately and I was just rereading our future AU thread from Wrimo and gahh I just think Pip is so great. I really love how Lauryl has shaken things up with The Spill and I love seeing her take the things I send and totally run with them in such fun and wild directions. And I just want to say AS i was typing this Lauryl posted a Phinnip aesthetic that definitely didn’t make me cry so yeah!!!!! @exsqueak-me

21. Make a character aesthetic for any of your characters!

Will come back to this I promise <3

22. Make a character aesthetic for anyone else’s character!

Will also come back to this I promise <3

i binge read

the finale, episode 15 - the tower of nero

!!!SPOILER ALERT FOR THE TOWER OF NERO!!! this post under the cut will be completely riddled with spoilers, as it is a personal account of my views on the book as a whole. 

it will be spoiled!!

(obviously.)

I’m almost too heartsick to write this omg. It’s been such a long, heartwarming journey, and it came to such an electrifying ending.

I’m quite proud of Apollo. I knew I was going to be, but the way he realized it, the way he realized everything... how Nero’s abuse mirrored Zeus’ and affected him just the same, how much of an asshole he’d been because of it. He made the conscious choice to change, and he decided he could love. He was capable of true love, he was capable of moving forward and being better. And he was. I was just,,, I was so proud of him. Seeing him mature was a really eye-opening experience, especially in this book, when he talked so much about the small complexities of Nero’s abuse, how every move was calculated and how it affected Meg. We’d seen wisps of discussions of abuse before, mostly in the lightning thief (smelly gabe) but we’ve never before gone into the complexities of emotional abuse. The way it was described was fantastically clear, in a way that undoubtedly painted Nero as the true villain, but also gave us the chance to see him try and convince his children that he was good. Apollo breaking down his every move was good for the audience to distinguish the meaning behind his words. Fantastically portrayed. The way it helped him realize his own abuse, too, was good.

And Meg. My sweet darling Meg. What an absolute baddie, I swear. She made the same decision - she went back to Nero to fight him, to test her own strength and power of will. Her decision to drop her rings and refuse to dual wield anymore was strange to me at the very beginning, but I understood it later. It was her refusing to use the weapons he forced her to use, to even defend herself against him. It was her turning her back on the methods he’d armed her with and deciding to take her own path. “The Beast is dead” is the rawest f-ing line in this entire novel, the Beast representing Nero’s psychological abuse. “I killed him” - she liberated herself by believing she was better. I’m so insanely proud of that girl, too. She’s come a long way as well.

Okay. After that analysis, let me just say:

THE GAYS WON.

I spent this entire book terrified that Will Solace was doomed. There was a line in the prophecy about the terrible ending of ‘Apollo’s flesh and blood’, and I figured that meant his offspring - his son, rather than his human form. I kept muttering to myself ‘Will’s gonna die Will’s gonna die and it’s gonna BREAK Nico’. I was just so worried. I didn’t think anyone, even William Andrew Solace, could survive Rick Riordan’s patented Blond Boy Curse.

But he was fine in the end! As fine as you can be. Solangelo boyfriends lived to fight another day. And their development as a couple was also quite nice. I loved their dynamic. We only saw a little of it in the hidden oracle. Though it was great there too, we were able to go more in depth and explore how they truly function. Nico’s dry sense of humor combined with his whole lord-of-the-darkness aesthetic x Will’s genuine compassion and joking nature combined with his glow-in-the-dark-ness was fantastic to see.

Speaking of Solangelo - they not only got stronger as a couple, but as individual people as well. To be completely honest, we really haven’t seen much in the way of Will Solace. He healed, he was nice, yeah, sure, but what about him? What was his personality like outside from other people? In this book we find out. He’s kind, compassionate, easily flustered, overly protective. He craves parental approval, hence him repeatedly referring to Apollo as ‘dad’ and being so watchful over him. He gets embarrassed when asked to glow on command and upset when people mistake him for a lamp. He’s impulsive and a little hypocritical - he follows his instincts (being led off into the tunnels by a random voice) but gets very worried when Nico pulls the same thing. He’s a fantastic character, and his contrasts to Nico and the rest of the ton crew were great.

Nico - he seriously was the hero of this book. Or at least the secondary hero. He saved them all so many times over - he took everyone through shadow travel away from the bulls, he met the troglodytes, saw an opportunity, prepared an offering to said troglodytes because he saw an opportunity, became an underground ambassador, later saved Apollo’s life again by turning a germanus into a skeleton. He led this quest, and you can pry that from my cold dead hands. And that one paragraph about him enduring all this shit?? MASTERFUL. He’s had such a boatload of trauma and still he stands. One of my very favorite consistent Nico traits is this: no matter where he is or what he’s doing or how he feels, he ALWAYS takes the chance to talk with those who feel alone, because he knows what it’s like to be truly fighting one’s battles alone and he’d never wish that on anyone. It’s consistent, too: him being the only one to talk to Hestia at the hearth in Camp Half Blood, him talking to and befriending Bob the Titan, him talking to the troglodytes. And I have really gotten to see his progression firsthand, sped up - I read the Titan’s Curse in my binge read series maybe two weeks ago, back when he was this hyperactive ten-year-old with a Mythomagic obsession and now he’s this prince of darkness saving people with an adorable glowstick boyfriend and man. I love this kid. If he wasn’t my favorite character in this universe, he is now.

Also, even though with this book Rick has closed the gateway to this world (sad), the end alluded to a possible journey through Tartarus again to look for what’s been calling him, but this time he’ll have Will. Rachel Dare even whispered a prophecy at the end, probably pointing to it (but we’ll never know for sure). Will and Nico through the depths of Tartarus - now that’s a series I’d want to read for sure. It’s really too bad we’ll never get to see it in canon. Sigh.

SPEAKING OF CANON.

Another way the gays have won: Piper Mclean.

She has a canon girlfriend!! We really struck gold. I figured she was aro//ace when reading the Burning Maze - her whole monologue about being forced into love - but it turns out she’s just wlw!! I love this, I love this. We seriously won with this book.

Other noteworthy thoughts I had while reading below:

- The scene with Apollo defeating Python and hanging on the edge of Chaos was great. Especially when the goddess Styx came out. I was wondering how all of his broken oaths would serve him and come back to haunt him. It was quite well portrayed. A serious rip to the Arrow of Dodona though. I always loved it,,, a lot. It made me laugh and sometimes grind my teeth in frustration, but it was always a nice presence.

- Apollo’s return to Olympus was better than anything I ever could have hoped for. I was really hoping that returning would give him a new insight, not just of being mortal, but of Zeus as well. And it did. It did! I’ve said it before but I am quite proud of him. His new perspective on the Olympians was refreshing. You can really see the change in narrative if you go back to the Hidden Oracle.

- It is always always always nice to see Sally Jackson. Woman of many talents, including novel writing, blue chocolate chip cookies, and excellent seven-layer dip. She was my favorite character at the beginning of this binge-reading frenzy (as stated in the first post). Now she is still very up there. Definitely top 5.

- Why does Estelle have Percy’s green eyes?? I thought Percy had his father’s eyes????

- Grover knew about Jason dying. If Grover was on the cross-country field trip with Percy and Annabeth, and they didn’t realize Jason was dead until they got to New Rome, then was he just sitting on Jason’s death this whole time??? Rip to Grover, he must have been seriously traumatized for THAT to have happened.

- The last two chapters were basically just Apollo making his rounds and wrapping everything up, so Percabeth isn’t just in a perpetual cross-country ride and Piper doesn’t live out her life forever in a grief-stricken taxi. I’m glad those chapters were there, though. Nice to see everybody again in their element.

Okay but you don’t understand the fear in my heart. I seriously thought Will Solace was a goner. I cried out of relief because he DIDN’T die. It just makes me love the two of them all the more.

This post has been way too long already, but I gotta add an obligatory outro - I read these books once as a little kid, and the past two weeks has been amazing getting back into them. It’s been magical and wonderful, falling in love with these characters, and I’m so sad to leave it.

The Fiery Priest...my new drama obsession!

Warning! This post contains serious spoilers cos I’m going to geek out over this show like nobody’s business! 

Hi all! I hope you all had a good week and are on track for having an awesome weekend! Sooo if you have guessed by now I love a good K-drama and boy have I found a new one to be singing praises about *pun intended* today. 

I found this accidentally when I was scrolling through Netflix and thought the premise looked fun and interesting. I am so glad I gave it a go and ended up box watching all 20 full length episodes in less than a week! IT IS SO GOOOOD! 

So the premise of the show is this; 

Kim Hae-il is a kick ass Catholic Priest looking for vengeance! After someone close to him is murdered by a corrupt police force that has hands in the criminal underworld, Kim Hae-il and his team (which comprises of a priest with a background in acting, a nun that used to hustle money via gambling, a hip-hop obsessed rookie cop, a scaredy cat senior detective, and an equally fiery Prosecutor) are on a mission to bring the bad guys to justice. 

This show is action packed, witty, and downright hilarious. I sooooo recommend this program and I really do hope they come back with a second series!

The literal translation of this show is Hot blooded priest  열혈 hot blood 사제 Catholic Priest.

Now watch as I fangirl over all the things I loved about this show!

Kim Hae-ils’s fiery temper and kick ass attitude. This guy takes no nonsense from anybody. He doesn’t like what somebody has to say to him, no problem they end up with a broken nose and probably a missing tooth!  His one liners are amazing. The best one that got me was when he was told to use a plastic ruler instead of a metal one to beat a suspect up with, and his response was along the lines of ‘oh I don’t like plastic rulers, they don’t whip as much as metal ones!’ I mean... I think I may shit my pants every time I see a priest now...like are they all trained in military combat? Is that the deal now to become a priest you have to know how to knock somebody out cold with a bottle of holy water and rosary beads?

The friendship between the group and how it slowly grows until they become a family. They argue, they make fun of each other, however they have each others backs and if one of them is under attack they all come out ready for a fight!   Word of warning don’t. Mess. With. Ssongsak!

I laughed so much at the scene when the mobsters are given laxative plant extract! Omg when they pooped their pants I couldn’t stop laughing as little flowers flew out of their arses!

I really enjoyed watching how the criminal underworld all had links within the police and prosecution services. It was shady as hell man, I mean all of them were in on it weren’t they! For all that money too… I was watching it thinking daaaaamn how high up the chain does this go to! From Russian mobsters, to cult leaders to the chief of police and then the secret service. It’s intense man….intense! 

The friendship between Ssongsak and Oh Yo-Han. Their friendship is just too cute man! And what is going on with Oh Yo-Hans trippy audio skills. Give him a mocha bread and he’s like a human telephone mast!

Seo Seung-A’s rapping skills! I nearly popped a rib laughing when she turned up for her first day on the violent crimes squad and busted out rapping! I mean the girl can spit a bar or two...but it’s probably best left to karaoke and not a team meeting! All her colleges were like who the hell is this? Her clothing though is on point!...I want those jackets that she wears!

Kim In-Kyung’s fire gambling skills.

I love the way Kim Hae-il and detective Koo Dae-Young talk to each other.  I mean if threatening each other wasn’t enough their fights are legendary. I mean I didn’t know a beef rib could be used as a weapon but now I do! Plus the dog masks guys...the dog masks alone! If you’ve seen that part you’ll know what I mean! Their BFFness is adorable and cute and I. Can. Not. Get. Enough. of. it!

I feel so sorry for detective Koo Dae-Young. I mean how many times does he have to get hit on the head? I really liked how the show used this to include a slapstick sort of vibe. He hallucinates the strangest things though…

Omg I nearly died when Kim Hae-il and Nam Suk-Goo go head to head and it took two teams of cops to drag them away from each other….their legs though...omg so funny when they still carried on trying to kick each other even when they were both lifted into the air by like 6 cops each!

Jang-Ryong’s character in general. He’s the worst bad guy ever. He can’t fight properly, his suits look like something from the 1980’s and that bob! I mean every time he went to fight he had to move it away from his face. It looked more like he was trying to film a L’oreal advert than beat the crap out of somebody. He deserved to poop his pants after the way he treated Ssongsak! However I did like how he and  Ssongsak became friends in the end. He learnt his lesson….don’t tease a trained fighter!

The OST for this is pretty alright. The music style definitely fits in with the theme of the show! More songs to be added to my Spotify playlist!

And finally I have to say the acting in this is SPOT ON! One of my most favourite K dramas so far! I give 5 outa 5 stars to this heavenly drama! 

Have you guys watched this show yet? I’d be so interested to hear your thoughts on this! Like I am the only one to fangirl over this show! 

Overall I highly highly recommend this drama. It’s got something for everybody and if you find crime drama’s boring give this one a go, the comedy in it alone makes it a five out of five for me! 

Right then lovelies I’m off to go find another drama to watch....

Until next time

Bye x 

What one event, big or small, are you going to tell your grandchildren about? I won’t even have kids...

What is your least favourite thing about your full name? it’s long, it’s polish, it’s feminine, it starts on a letter Z that is rarely used, people don’t know how to write my surname down, it reminds people of a stupid song that I hate etc. 

Do you like sunglasses? it’s complicated Do you think dreams can give us insight to things? sorta, sometimes Besides your computer, what else is cluttering your desk? what isn’t...

What is your favourite glass to drink from? prefer a mug When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? they were born in Poland where we still live What time is it in the country you get the most of your heratige from? 14.42 Would you rather live in the 1960’s or the 1910’s? 60s  Is the computer your only current light source? window/sun too Do you think you look good with a hat on? I’m ugly no matter what so...

Do you have anyone you fully trust? not fully, not even myself, some I just trust more than others  When did you last talk on the phone with someone? yesterday with M.

Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? kinda When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? mom, this day Was the last movie you watched a horror film? noooo Do you own a lot of tee shirts? shitload Do you handle pain well? been told  Have you ever been so nervous you threw up? I never threw up out of stress, I can feel nauseous though Do you enjoy your hairstyle? not really atm but it’s not the worst How much make up do you wear on a daily basis? none, ever Do you have a leather jacket? fake

What is the worst insult someone can call you? I’ve already heard everything I suppose... Do you write on your hands a lot? not anymore Do you think hugs are awkward? often Ever play Angry Birds? flappy bird only How late did you stay up last night? till mornin’ Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? mhm Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? they would have to be really stupid to choose mine tbh Is there a place you’d rather live right now? on my own... Do you go out often? lately Is there anyone who is overly nice to you? my current partner, I don’t deserve her If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? I’m not reading anything Do you have a job you like? I don’t have a job How many scarves do you own, if any at all? uh oh :x

What is one way in which this year is different from last year? where should I start... Do you feel like you have too much on your plate and your life is too hard? for me it is too hard Did you do anything you regret within the last 24 hours? probably What is your favorite day to go grocery shopping? I don’t have a favorite day to go but I don’t shop on Sundays and Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays are usually the hardest to get anything  Would you follow God even if it meant losing your home, your source of food, all of your friends, or even your life? jeśli byłabym 100% pewna, że Bóg tego chce i co mam robić Who’s death has affected you the most? my brother’s Have you ever grown sunflowers? they didn’t turn out well Are you scared to stand up to a police officer? no idea What is your doctor’s first name? which one?

Do you hate political posts on facebook? when there’s plenty, especially wrong  How many pictures do you have stored on your computer? omg  Which type of camera do you prefer: digital or Polaroid? hard to tell Have you ever had a camera that took film? we had when I was still a kid Do you ever squirt whip cream onto a plate and then eat it by itself? disgusting Have you ever had a hot flash? common Are you ok? my heart hurts badly Would you rather wear purple glasses or black glasses? black If you’re a girl, do you ever shop in the boys or mens section? absolutely If you’re a guy, do you ever shop in the girls or womens section? I’m a woman What do you think of when you hear the word “Christian”? religious person lmfao How many pullover hoodies do you own? bunch Which do you take more: videos or photos? pics What is the most embarrassing thing you can think of happening? my imagination is vivid What are two names you used to get mixed up when you were younger? for example - Ada and Adrianna What do u think of the quote “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing” I disagree Do you wear earmuffs when it’s cold out? I don’t own any

If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? on my phone, not computer What do you smell right now? luckily nothing much If you were an instrument, what would you be? smth annoying? Do you hate the usual 100 questions surveys? EX: Eye color boring Does your house have a doorbell? of course Do you know someone who has dropped out of high school? my classmate  If you were to get a pet turtle right now, what would you name it? mine was called Bob and I don’t want a new one  What’s your most hated commercial to watch? most of them are shit What was the last thing you charged? cellphone When you were younger, did you believe you could fly? if I did I would be dead by now (jumping out of window or smth) Favorite farm animal? chicken What’s your favorite name that begins with B? I don’t like polish names starting on B letter If someone payed you $500 would you take a bath in milk? why not Do you enjoy having time to yourself? :3 Can you do a cart wheel? still but crappy Do you like Ed Sheeran? blergh Would you rather become an author or teacher? author How many people are you currently texting? just 1 This time tomorrow, what will you be doing? hopefully spend time with @jonasz-cat Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? money Have you ever been inside a recording studio? I have not Would you rather visit Mars or Neptune? Neptune Does it bother you when people keep talking to you and you want to leave? very Have you ever texted a landline phone by accident? my sister did Do you like quotes about love or life better? love is part of life What color is your garage? not applicable Do you like it when people give you compliments? they’re lying Was your hair straight today? my hair is wavy Do you ever share things on Facebook? quizzes from buzzfeed, music link from yt and selfies Do you pick out your outfits for the next day the night before or the AM? am What color was your swim suit this year? bluish Do ladders scare you? I’m cautious

1 through 10, how would you rate your day? low Any specific reason why? how I feel physically and those mirror demons mostly + some minor things

Salt or pepper? salt If you look to your right & then look down.. What do you see? bag Did you use swear words today? sigh... What did you buy today? food

If you had the choice to meet three famous people, who would you choose? dead or alive? Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic? dog is domestic ;)

Do you think people under fourteen should have sex? hell no How old were you when you had your first alcoholic beverage? 20+ What is something most people think of as lame, but you don’t? my interests? Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part? just my teeth, fingers or eyes Do you like gore? no thx Would you rather receive a kiss on the cheek, or on the forehead? neck :P Have you ever had a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend flirt with you? someone who seriously tried to become my friend’s bf flirted with me and her sister and that’s one of reasons I say that you can lie with both actions AND words Where is your biological mother at the moment? kitchen Do you enjoy going places with your mother, like running errands? ... Do you have any annoying siblings? she indeed annoys me  How many people are in your immediate family? I count my parents and eventually my sister as immediate family Would you say you have good or bad luck? bad Do you like your laugh? uh... Do you hate it when people ask you how their survey was at the end? because they should do better, be more unique, sorry not sorry What are your plans for the rest of the day? we’ll see

Have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? ... buttons? not zipper?... What does your last text say? it was the link to the article

Do you ever think about the past? I’m nostalgic and an overthinker Is math your favorite part of school? even in middle school when I was getting high grades for math I didn’t like it that much Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? yesterday  You’ve taken fifteen shots of vodka, what are you doing? exactly, WHAT AM I DOING?! Do you regret any of your relationships? yasss but I guess I learned yadda yadda yadda Whats the last taste in your mouth? stomach acid :(

What are your countries staple dishes? (Italians - pizza, pasta etc) *shrug* What was the last thing you felt disappointed by? my very own self Do you play games on your phone? nothing else but Choices Do you have music on your cellphone? spotify Name three black things that you can see? necklace, cellphone, calculator Do you like your best friends parents? Could you even tell me their names? I liked my elementary school’s bestie’s mom - Mrs. Krysia she was like an aunt to me and still recognizes me on the street, I miss her  Are you more of a mums kid or dads kid? dad’s Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Marilyn Monroe forever anything silly that annoys you? (i hate hearing nails being clipped) for example - someone scratching their plate with a fork, jak ktoś sztućcem zgrzebuje resztki jedzenia mam ochotę go zamordować >.<  would you perfer to do the dishes or hang washing? dishes

clarissa explains it all season 2 finale livewatch!

that’s right folks, season 2 is finally over! to celebrate, i’ll be doing a livewatch just like the premiere. sit back, relax (watch the ep here) and enjoy the show! :D

clarissa: “in order to be happy, enjoy life in strict moderation.” *looks at my yt history of a thousand beatles songs and bob’s burgers eps* oh no

24 HOURS OF TV THE HECK THAT AIN’T GOOD FOR YA GURL

na na na na naaaaaaaaaaaa

wait the tv thing is homework

oh it’s not CLARISSA’S JUST CHEATINGGGGGG

clarissa’s gonna die in this ep isn’t she

pre tv bc is the greeks and only the greeks

greek dad: “sportopilous” lol

greek clarissa: “fergopilous breath” lol lol

clarissa: “i’m glad to be in time with the 20th century.” almost the 21st! ;)

sam’s speaking in twang and it’s so cool :D

america’s funniest home shopping sounds like a show i’d watch. the weird world of mud wrestling and roadkill 101? not really...

and janet and marshall are picking out an early xmas tree

ferg: “mom, dad, don’t you remember my aching sacroiliac?” your WHAT now

clarissa: “happy digging!” ferg: *isn’t happy*

clarissa: “the future of tv might lie in my hands.” it certainly needs you now...

clarissa watching tv would make THE BEST LIVESTREAM

omg she’s watched 4 hours tv with a 30 second break HOW IS THAT LEGAL????

clarissa: “the shows look like commercials and the commercials look like shows!” maybe you’re watching... THE TWILIGHT ZONE!!!!!!!!!

clarissa: “live tv is instant history!” and so is a livestream! ;D

paul revere on live tv would be coolio

clarissa: “make tv live... all the time!” you mean like a livestreaaaaam? ;D

why is ferg acting so evil

the funny farm is like sending kids to dr. phil’s ranch

clarissa: “i’ve already missed 11 and a half seconds of tv.!” GIRL THAT WAS MORE LIKE A MINUTE AND 11  SECONDS

6 hours and she’s turned the channel over a thousand times? HOW IS THAT LEGALLLLLLLLL???????????

OMG SHE’S TAKING A BREAK THANK THE STARS

....oh wait she brought it outside

but how can it work without a plug? dun dun dunnnnnnnnn

the 24 hour weather channel is perfect!

ALMOST 14 HOURS OF TV THE FRICK

clarissa thinks the channels are changing on their own SHE'S GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

but she has to continue “in the name of science!” :D

tv: “it’s 2 am. do you know where your children are?” clarissa, wasted out of her mind: “shakes her head” lol

wait a sec she’s been watching tv since 6pm and her fam didn’t have dinner WHEN DO THE DARLNGS HAVE DINNER I NEED TO KNOW FOR SCIENCE

oh wow she’s slowly dying

her special total tv news update IS THAT SHE”S DED

jk it’s that yesterday afternoon her parents and ferg planted a magnolia tree at midnight?????

maybe the ‘2 am’ thing isn’t literal but if it is, the darlings are seriously night owls

oh it’s saturday at 5/6:30 central ok

why is janet obsessed with tofu

OMG A GIRL JUST HOPPED INTO HER ROOM WHO

YAY CLARISSA WATCHED 24 HOURS OF TV AND DIDN’T DIE???????

hillary sounds annoying af

OMG DO THE OTHERS HEAR IT TOO????????

FERG PLANNED ALL THIS THAT LITTLE JERK

ooh clarissa REVENGE >:)

she’s carrying around a tv is she smushing ferg with it

i just realized this is the total opposite of the season 1 ep where they have no tv at all! :D

clarissa: “heeeere’s johnny!” EYYYYY! :D

ferg’s big smile is so creepy

clarissa’s acting like a tv lol :D

ferg’s middle name begins with ‘w’ ferg william darling isn’t half bad

YO CLARISSA TRAPPED HERSELF IN THE TV WILLY WONKA WHO

how in the world is she pulling this off

it’s not a tape... so what is it??????????

OMG IS THIS PUBLIC ACCESS

OR A LIVESTREAM???????????????????

they filmed it with a camera but how was it on the tv????????

lol ferg’s scared of the tv lol

oh no and janet is allergic to the tree

square peas, huh?

oh wow clarissa taped her project

i’ll watch clarissa vision any day! ;D

and it’s just like interactive yt vids clarissa is a pioneer before her time

lol she made us turn the tv off

and she turned it off to end the ep! clever clarissa! :D

well, that’s the end of clarissa season 2. and what a great finale it was! stay tuned for season 3 of clarissa at 5/6:30 central only on bctv! ;D

TASK OO1 / OOC SURVEY.

[kermit voice] hallo.... its me 

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — nora

AGE — 23

TIMEZONE — gmt

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — enfp-infp border cos im an introvert who Masquerades as an extrovert :)

HP HOUSE — i spent 10 yrs of my life thinkin i was gryffindor.... to find out.... huffle....puff...... 

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i fuckin wish! being a student was dope af i got stressed about essays like once a month and apart from that i was just chillin, surrounded by really intelligent people every day n livin it up on the party scene. adult life fucking sucks no one wants to have fun cos we all work fuckin tonnes of hours so we can afford to eat and get paid peanuts xx

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — im really afraid of bein one of those jock types who peaked in high school but i deff peaked in uni like 100% i was way more interesting 2 years ago

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im not showin u my instagram bc im a fuckin embarassment but this is pinterest , this is my personal blog, this is my writing / 1x1 blog i never use any more n this is my trash talking twitter where i mostly just cry about timothee chalamet and bash the tories. 

DISCORD USER — kristine’s forehead vein#8664

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — i dont read fanfiction much but when i do u can be sure it’s slow burn angsty enemies to lovers mutual pining heart attack every time one of them accidentally brushes the other’s hand

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — suspiria (2018 luca guadagnino version rogue i kno but i prefer the remake), the lobster, before sunrise, baz luhrmann romeo + juliet, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,  thoroughbreds (REC!! so underwatched pls watch it. compelling female characters), hunt for the wilderpeople (also so underwatched), swiss army man, call me by your name, atonement, moonrise kingdom, trainspotting, the florida project. i rlly like films ok

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the song of achilles by madeline miller n also fen by daisy johnson

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — booksmart cos its fuckin dope

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — libra

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? —  i like to pretend im super invested in it mostly to anger my friends but tbh.... i just use it as a rough guide for character creation.... its fun but i dnt .... fully invest in what it has to say..... altho i am the most unbalanced n indecisive bitch on earth so i guess they got that right !! i just live to please baybeyy!

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — tumblr for about 8 year (omg) n before tht facebook..... i was very embarassingly in a twilight rp..... i wrote jane..... i also rped as a scene kid oc n when i was like 12 i was on some weird forum harry potter roleplay where i basically played a self insert with georgie henley as the fc......

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i used to have so many hobbies but now i jst lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. but before i was workin like a dog i loved reading, writing, acting in theatre productions..... going out on the town getting bevved..... big druggy EDM nights in warehouses tht probably weren’t liscenced for tht many ppl..... gigs... costume-design and making, spoken word poetry, acrylic painting n rollerskating but my sister broke my skates abt two years ago in vengeance and i’ll never forgive her that fuckin bitch

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — no my landlord is a fascist

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — i’ll never stop reccing euphoria!! also i was pleasantly surprised by looking for alaska!! but i also rlly like bob’s burgers, parks and rec, good omens.... black mirror, n sharp objects. lovesick on bbciplayer (n netflix i think) is also rlly fun

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — maybe love island, idk if i talk abt that much bc i am ashamed but i am so obsessed with it. i even got the love island game n got so invested in my fictional relationship w bobby tht i had to delete it

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — god god... i haven’t finished a book in ages.... i recently started reading milkman by anna burns, the bees by laline paull and everything under by daisy johnson.... bt the last book i read cover to cover was probs circe. defs read it. feminist and witchy

CURRENTLY READING? — i jst said this but the bees, everything under and less so milkman cos im finding milkman a bit tough

LAST FILM? REC IT? — i watched ladyworld the lord of the flies all-female remake n even maya hawke could not save it.... dnt get me wrong from an art film point of view i loved it but it felt a bit underdeveloped n a level media studies for me..... apart from tht?? the runaways (yorkshire film not released yet at a preview screening) and threads (also a yorkshire film from the 80s about nuclear apocalypse)

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — portrait of a lady on fire, i work at an independent cinema n we recently had a preview screening and everyone said it was SICK, uhhhh short term 12, n the new eliza scanlen movie babyteeth

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — madagascar because when i was 12 my parents bought me a little television with a dvd player in it for my birthday and madagascar was the only dvd i owned for like..... the first two years of havin the absolute luxury of a tv in my room so i just used to watch it all the time n i now basically know the script inside out

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — nothing, life is pointless n i hate fun, let me rot in peace

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — ughhh god probably lcd soundsystem. gorillaz, the streets, tame impala, talking heads, soft hair, i also love lizz tho n also angry twangy guitar girl bands like girlpool, courtney barnett, best coast, cherry glazerr,

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in my party days are over i cant even be bothered to go to the shops if its past 4.30pm and dark these days

ANY PHOBIAS? — clowns n rats

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — absolutely not

BIRDS? — yes but not if they fly in my face

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — i love both i want one 

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — tory middle aged boomers who treat me like actual shit on their shoe because i work in the service industry like thats my choice and their poor economic decisions didnt mean i have to do a shitty job to afford to live bcos of austerity n cuts to arts funding meaning i cant get a job writing unless i self-fund :)))

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that everyone ive met through rp is a fuckin LAFF

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — god .... diana silvers, timothee chalamet, margaret qualley, kristine froseth, froy gutierrez, zendaya, elle fanning, astrid berges frisbey, hunter schafer, leonardo dicaprio

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — herman tomeraas, hunter schafer, saoirse ronan, timothee chalamet, froy gutierrez

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — linda mccartney 1/2pounder mozzarella veggie burgers, sweet potato wedges, tomato soup, mozzarella sticks, brownies

WORST FOOD? — green things like broccoli n sprouts gross. baked beans cos as a kid ppl used to do baked bean baths for comic relief / red nosed day a lot n i thought when they were finished in the baked bean bath they just put all the cold beans back in the tin. actually anything small that moves around on your plate. peas. spaghetti. sweetcorn. i dont like small things i cant control.

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — last year my housemate had an xbox n i went through a phase of obsessively playin fable 3 it was amazing. i had like 5 husbands and 3 wives and loads of kids but they all ended up leavin me cos i spent so much time out doing quests neglecting them

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — this

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — im one of those bitches who was in this grp all the way back when it was swipe... so quirky and original!! i knew the band before u! anyway im goin now this has been sufficiently embarassing..... i am lame

Well Zach is in his hometown for a few days and I’m in this weird restless mood while being super tired at the exact same time. 

I want to go drinking and I want to dance. Actually, I mostly just want to dance.  I want to be happy and so fucking giddy that I’m out of my mind and care free and just be in that moment when nothing matters so I’m going to have a good time.

Do you ever have a conversation and you realize hmmm, I probably shouldn’t have said that because now it’s weird? I mean, that’s kind of every extended conversation I have with anyone but still.

I kind of want to punch myself in the face (((: but at the same time, I want to go dancing, so? 

I am not going to beat myself up over this! I refuse to! You know, I have gotten so much better about feeling guilty over everything! And I was being vulnerable! So bonus points, right? 

Anyway, I’m friends with my ex. I guess we’ve become good friends in the past several months. He asked me if I still was planning to move to Charlotte and of course my whole situation is convoluted (in my mind) so I was like, can I explain it to you over skye because I didn’t feel like talking about it through text. 

Jesus, I have no idea how anyone deals with me and talking to me because words don’t come out of my mouth correctly? Like in my head I’m just like this is what I will say! But when it comes out of my mouth it’s like scrabble with words. Have fun rearranging my sentence and guessing what I’m trying to say! AND I SAID NOT TO BEAT MYSELF UP. I will learn how to talk to people one day, I swear. 

SO, we’re skyping and he finally gets me to start talking about the situation at hand and I’m explaining the developments in some sort of way and telling him my options. I then proceed to kind of casually mention my hesitation of moving to a new place with Zach because I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be with him. AND boy oh boy oh boy, why did I mention that? To my ex. 

Granted, he took it well. He is probably used to my awkwardness by now so I’m guessing that helps and he was very nice and understanding about it and didn’t ask any further questions and I don’t even remember what I said after that.

But I’m kind of mortified. 

Btw, I was finally emailed the new leasing terms for my apartment as this current lease ends in July. The new rent will be nearly $1000 and I’m just in shock that they put it up that high out of seemingly no where? With no justification. This is a nice place, I have been very fortunate to have been able to live here for the past 2 years but fuck that. I’m going to start paying my own rent in July and I’m not spending that much money on rent in fucking Winston Salem. Literally, the only other apartments in this area that are that expensive are the fancy luxury ones downtown. 

Is $1000 a month normal in other cities or even considered a steal for a 2 bedroom 2 bath? Oh absolutely, but this is Winston Salem. I was told that the price I’ve been paying this past year was way too high but this extra $150 is just head-scratching. How? Why? What on earth. I know Charlotte is worse but like, this isn’t Charlotte. 

Yikes can I go on a tangent. Anywayyyyy, yes. I am mortified. Yep yep yep yep yep. Always saying a little toooooo much to people who don’t really need to know that much. Is he a good friend? yes. But he is also my ex and he doesn’t need shit like that dumped on him as I’m sure he has his own problems to deal with.

But it’s been done. It has been said. He was nice about it! I will let this feeling happen for as long as it needs to and then I will resume normal business. I will apologize in the morning and it will be fine. He’ll be cool about it like he always is.

However, there is some adrenaline in my system right now. Like, my mind is going wwwoooooosh all over the place. 

I always used to be on my toes around my ex, even during the month and a half we dated. Even during everything that happened after that. He gave me soooo much social anxiety. I once held my pee in for like 4 hours hanging out with him because I was too afraid to move or say I had to go to the bathroom. But Jesus, I reallyyyyy liked him and I wanted to get to know him better and whelp, it’s several years later and I finally am getting over my social anxiety with him. Talking to him regularly has definitely helped. 

Honestly, my social anxiety hasn’t been bad lately. I’m still reluctant to make phone calls, except at work. I’m doing so much better with calling people at work. That used to be my most hated task at the bookstore. I hated calling customers to give them bad news about their orders. I always tried to send out emails instead. 

But I’ve been chatty with my coworkers and trying to establish “bonds” with them. Dave and Busters opened in the mall so I’m trying to slowly and low-key convince my coworker to go with me. She’s pretty cool. We actually have a lot in common but sadly we are both awkward introverts so it’s taken a year of working with each other to finally figure that out. 

The coworker I really wanted to be friends with quit. I feel like we could have been pretty good friends because we have SO much in common and she definitely tried getting to know me on multiple occasions but my personality can be so unforgiving. I act uninterested in fear of being overly interested and IT IS FUCKING GREAT ((((((:

It’s also very possible that I may have had a tiny crush on her. Not like an OMG I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS PERSON type of crush.  More like, she’s cute and quirky and I really think she’s cool but I have a boyfriend so these thoughts will stay subdued. 

But I haven’t really felt socially anxious lately? And that’s been great. It makes my world a smidge more easier. Depression though? Still here. Always lurking. Always waiting for a moment to strike. The nice weather helps so much though. I’m still weighing pros and cons of medication and therapy in my current situation. I definitely want to put a lot more research and thought into it before I make any decisions. I just know that I want to be on some proper treatment path before seasonal depression hits again. 

You know, I have the day off tomorrow. Originally I was going to stay in for most of the day. I was going to leave to pick up a package from the front office (because I bought the most  “me” shoes ever”), but now I’m debating actually going out and doing something. 

I kind of want to go downtown. That’s so far been my favorite part of this city. There is a brewery/bar that makes an amazing vegetarian burger and though I’m not vegetarian, it’s a fucking amazing burger. Right next to that brewery is a really cool store that sells local items and they have a huge selection of vintage clothes! I walked in out of curiosity a few weeks ago and fell in love with the atmosphere and just the general vibe of the place. 

I’m now considering this because I just got an email (who sends emails after midnight?) from the metaphysical store downtown. There is apparently going to be a flash sale and while I don’t need new crystals, they had some really cool ones last time I was in there and hey, maybe this is the time to pick some new ones up. 

This is all just a late night and too tired to be alive fever dream though. Honestly, I’ll probably just stay in but one of these days, I’ll do something fun. When I finally get this driving thing down, I’ll have as many fun days as I want because it just sounds like a hassle getting an uber there and back and walking around downtown (which is huge and not every street is entirely safe) by myself. Like the crystal store. It’s really only a ten minute walk but I’m a chicken, okay? I’ve never dealt with so many creeps in my life in any other city as I have here. Did that sentence even make sense? Probably not, I don’t care. 

BUT I MIGHT SEE SUPERORGANISM SUNDAY. SO THAT WILL BE FUN.

I’m really hoping Zach will be up for it. I’m praying he will be. I really really really want to go. I’ve become so fond of this band. I’d be so happy to see them live. Also the venue is in a former mid-century car dealership so I’m dying to see it. Zach is the only person whose been around me often enough to know this but I LOVE mid-century modern design and architecture. 

I also want a reason to wear fun make up and dress up. Like, this is an excuse to use crazy eyeshadow and glitter because the band is fairly eccentric. 

We’ll see though. Zach was supposed to be driving back Saturday evening but his dad bought tickets to see some musician (Bob...S...something) in Virginia for Saturday evening so he’ll be driving back Sunday morning instead :/ It’s like a 4 hour drive from there to here so I don’t know if he’ll have the energy or motivation to drive 1.5 hours to Durham for a band he is only mildly interested in. 

I really should just stay in tomorrow though. I could really use the time to answer the essay questions for my application for school and answer back to the advisor (that they already assigned me?). He just wants to go over the program details with me because it is a bit rigorous. I’m up for the challenge though. I need something productive to occupy my time with and I’ve had a good break these past 2 years.