#i am like actually nauseous
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mfhddsffdasfadfmmdndasndsmn
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
what do i even do with that
what can i even say
#toh#i am crying#i am like actually nauseous#that owl sure can house#uhh spoilers in tags below#lmao i reused that tag from my hollow mind rant#anyways#flapjack????#died???#why dana why#she really just said#i am going to make an episode that will make everyone cry#and she fucking succeded#hunter died for a whole ass minute#my boy was not breathing#and flapjack#bleeding and dying#gave their life#now hunter has way more scars#they look just like the original one#has belos posessed him before?#i cant imgine what hunter must be going through right now#his first friend who's been with him through a ton of shit#gave their life to save him#after they were crushed by his own hands#hunter my boy#im so sorry#the owl house#toh spoilers#toh season 3
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How do you people who get regular migraines like. Survive.
#spazzcat barks#delete later#currently experiencing the rare occasion by which i get a migrain#there is an ice pick wedged in my right eye#sounds make me nauseous#i threw up when i tried to put in a headphone earlier#this is hell actually#everything tastes like blood#how the heck am i supposed to drive home actually
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Hey y'all! A word of advice about going to a new doctor (this is US-based, but I think might be applicable to more than just that):
If they do not ask you for your medical history, that is not a good sign
#the person behind the yarn#medical mention#I went to a neurologist and they did not ask ANYTHING about my medical history#except about my migraines and muscle spams#I means spasms but muscle spams is funnier so I'm leaving it#but like...I have two different 'does salt wrong' disorders#it is extremely implausible that my muscle spasms are NOT related to my Need More Salt disease#but they did not ask about my Need More Salt Diseases#and also my migraines are COMPLETELY fixed by benadryl so the chances of them not being allergy based is...small#I went there for issues with flashing lights and they didn't ask if I had a family history of epilepsy!!#and they kept asking if I only saw the flashing lights when I had migraines#I had to say 'when I see a physical light that is flashing it is disorienting and makes me nauseous'#before they understood I am not seeing flashing lights that don't exist#I have issues with flashing lights when the lights themselves are actually flashing#they didn't ask about concussions!!! I've had several! I had to bring it up#and the doc was like 'nah probably not important' and I was like 'I have a dent in my skull from one of the concussions'#so he did feel the dent in my skull but still!!!! why would the neurologist NOT ask if I'd had concussions??? I've had at least three!!
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doing so well (lie)
#good omens#good omens season 2#good omens spoilers#my head is actually in pain bc of this like i felt nauseous...#i am still in shock
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sorry i need to vaguepost real quick (its not about anyone here) bc i am sdgjkl so nauseous from this fucking up my nervous system on another account but GODDD i wish ppl wouldn't assume that if ur criticising a spiritual practice u must not know what ur talking about :'''))))
also the fact that ppl seem to think "well, it's a spiritual/religious/etc practice, so that means it is above criticism :)" drives me up a fucking wall,, with the huge rise of new age spiritual practices and belief systems, that is such a garbage way of thinking
so much of new age spirituality is based in racism and/or encouraging maladaptive thinking patterns and behaviours that can easily push a person into psychosis and/or white supremacy and im just...... head in my hands.
i know what the fuck im talking about bc i was deep in that world for years lmfao and it can be extremely scary in there. i still dip my toes in every now and then bc spirituality and religion and the bit where they intersect is fascinating and oftentimes very beautiful, but I have to be so careful to not fall in too deep or I'll end up in a very fucking bad place yet again lmfao. i just wish ppl wouldn't assume that "oh u said xyz spiritual thing is bad, so you must just not know what you're talking about" BRO TRUST ME. I KNOW FAR MORE THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON, AND I ALSO HAVE A VERY OPEN MIND. if i am criticising smth it is with good fucking reason !!!
#and im so careful because like. no not everyone who does xyz thing is stupid or in danger or whatever#but i think the Vague Concepts being so public is dangerous when the Actual Info is not as public.#because it encourages a lot of young people (teens and adults) who are desperate to escape their reality to feed into these things#and they do not do the proper research !!! they also do not know HOW to do the proper research oftentimes!!#so its just encouraging ppl to get into shit that encourages bigotry and poor mental health !!!#theres so much more i could say but i've already said too much probably fdsjkl im just. genuinely shaking#i hate this nervous system i hate this body i am so tired of things making me turn into a nauseous chihuahua#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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also hey tim please don’t have another eddie sex scene this season you are actively killing my sex repulsed ass
#my sex repulsion is so so much worse when it’s a character i project onto#like i don’t think people understand how bad sex repulsion can be sometimes after watching these scenes i get physically ill#i will feel nauseous for like a day#it’s not fun and i don’t like it#it’s all fun and games being until your a disabled person who has nothing to do but get obsessed with fictional characters#and the media wants to actively kill you#rey actually speaks#911 spoilers#also tim if you want to kill aspec eddie good luck i am actively doubling down
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rly wish you didn’t feel the need to make biscuits directly on my chest but you know more about baking than i do, i guess
#help she looks so small#my one day off and i spent almost all of it feeling nauseous and getting nothing done#now that i finally feel better it’s 11pm#when is the last time i actually felt good. mentally physically emotionally?#when is the last time i felt present in my life and not like my anxiety or depression or whatever else was piloting my body#while i just kind of watch and let it happen#when’s the last time i laughed for real and not my stupid fake work laugh#WHY AM I SAYING ALL OF THIS ON FUCKING TUMBLR#guys. i just. feel Bad. most of the time.#the beginning of this year is a blank spot in my head because i spent almost all of it so depressed i barely remember anything#it’s me#it’s sushi#(literally)
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I’d love to be given an ice pack by a cute guy tbh. Would love sick cuddles. Would love to acquire a boyfriend.
#I’m not actually sick rn but I am very very very nauseous#also am playing fnv#boyfriend yearning hours#mlm thoughts#mlm yearning#mlm#definetly not catching a boyfriend or making people swoon by saying shit like ‘aquire’
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lesson learned this week: if your teenage niece asks to throw a party at your house, say no because you might end up feeling trapped in your bedroom due to not wanting to encounter a group of teens in your own home so now you’re thirsty, and being thirsty triggers anxiety and anxiety triggers nausea and nausea triggers more anxiety which triggers stomach cramps which triggers more anxiety which triggers more nausea and i’m still thirsty on top of that. i am fighting for my life in here 😭😭 i think i could start crying i’m having so much anxiety 😭😭
#i am so tired of the cycle of anxiety 😭😭😭 like bro my body is TIRED#it’s tired of being in an anxious state and hurting and feeling nauseous and throwing up and i am constantly dying#i’m also wearing makeup and i need to take it off but i can’t bc that requires going to the bathroom!#and going to the bathroom means encountering people!#i need a xanax#maybe 2 or 3 actually#i also need a hair tie my hair is starting to drive me crazy#i’m getting a headache#i’m also congested bc my allergies are bothering me#i’m also shaking i cannot with this rn#i am overstimulated#and i have to pee#we are just not doing well team 😭😭#strawberrybyers text post
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no but seriously the next person that makes a joke/comment about me fucking/dating my only guy friend because people 1) feel the need to press heteronormative bullshit onto every different-sex friendship and make the mass generalization that men and women always secretly want to fuck each other and 2) genuinely don’t view asexuality/aromanticism as valid and cannot comprehend how to be supportive and validating of it,, is going to get their shit rocked bc I’ve had about fucking enough of it :)
#no bc it’s happened to often#I’ve never really had guy friends tbh#like guy friends that were just mine#I’ve hung out in groups where guys were there but I’ve never had a guy friend that only me and him went and did things#bc I don’t feel safe around men uwu#but this year I’ve made a guy friend. and he’s super sweet and I really like him!! we have a great time hanging out and it’s purely platonic#he’s dating a girl and he knows I’m aroace and is totally chill with that !! so we have the understanding that I am genuinely INCAPABLE#of being into him. and he is NOT into me. we are just. friends.#but we go out to lunch/dinner and hang out and blah blah#and today we hung out to a few hours between classes and wandered around downtown and we bought matching stuffed mice lol#they’re so cute I love them#and I was showing off my mouse to people and happily explaining my day#and so many of my friends… all of my irl friends… were like#‘so you went on a date? so you’re into him? that’s a date sweetheart. you’re totally gonna get married and have babies with him’#like those are ALL things that friends actually said#and it just made me feel like actively nauseous#bc 1) the thought of it makes me sick and 2) the fact that my friends just. don’t care about my sexuality#and my expression that I’ve reiterated time and TIME again makes me crazy#bc I know that every single time i mention Caleb people are hopping on it and wanting me to date him#and this is another reason I’ve never had guy friends!!#like oh my gOd!! I’m not into men!! leave me the fuck alone!!!!!!#yeah it makes me really upset :)#that’s my complaint of the week sigh#it’s heteronormative BULLSHIT!!! and the permeation of sex into oit society!!!#some of us don’t want to fuck our guy friends!!!!#leave me alone or be fucking nice to me#nobody would make jokes if I got matching mice with a woman#I HAVE matching stuffed animals with women!! it’s just something I do with FRIENDS#why are different sex friendships different#die maybe have u considered that
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Hm. Sitting up for extended periods of time is having the same physical effect on me as standing up for extended periods of time does. Hoping this doesn't last because if it does that's gonna be Very Very Bad for me
#it's happened before and eventually stopped but I cannot figure out any correlation. nothing is different#like man I am trying to do homework I cannot be stopping every 5-10 minutes to lay down for 10-20 minutes because I feel#extremely nauseous. dizzy. high heartrate. shaky. blacking out. nauseous. dizzy. have I mentioned nauseous and dizzy.#idk what the fuck is going on but I don't like it#fuck dude I fucking hate my body can it not be normal for 3 fucking seconds#armchair speaks#actually disabled#physically disabled
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staring at various flavors of pank
#conflicted bc i love obnoxiously pink (said so lovingly) pank but also valentine hanks softer pinks r cute i like the main pink a lot#n of course hank p has hearts everybody lieks hearts#tho visually i think he sort of comes off more on the reddish side at first glance other than the goggles#also i saw someone complain abt pank not having much variation in his design and that the colors were tough on the eyes n i can see that#but i liek it and being an ex-pink-hater i think i am allowed to indulge in the worst combinations of pink ever (hes not that bad)#actually on that it is funny that i used to Not like pink at all like 4 some reason the color made me nauseous for a long time#but now. my beloved. is exclusively pink#ive been over my pinkhate for years at this point but ykno
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yall im getting at least 200k inheritance
#i feel bad even posting about it but its just so wild#ok like one my RAPIST dad fucking DIED#i am SAFE for LIFE#I LITERALLY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO FLEE TO THE HIGH HEAVENS ABOVE#two like this is a life changing amount of money AND I COULD GET MORE..........#i have given up on all of my dreams like i have accepted that as an adult your childhood dreams in some form have to die#but i have always dreamed of having a home of my own and i can have all my pets and plants ect ect#like it was a longterm “dream” like you dont think youre actually gonna get there#but its actually coming and i feel like im going up a rollercoaster like it physically makes me feel nauseous lmao#i feel like i cant even talk about it cus it sounds like a brag#its just all so wild idk how im supposed to feel#am i happy am i sad am i angry am i numb am i regretful am i remorseless#dunno man
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EVERYONE SHUT UP. I’m so in love with her actually shut up
She is actually so fucking gorgeous looking at her is like. Breathing for the first time. She is my EVERYTHING. I would kill somebody for her idc. She says jump I say HOW HIGH. I would jump over the fucking. CN TOWER. If she wanted me to.
She’s stunning. Don’t even she is STUNNING. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen I feel sick.
#I would go to war for her#she can do no wrong#I feel nauseous like she’s actually so beautiful I am DIZZY#my WIFE…..#I wish I had the energy to draw I NEED to#selfship#f/o gush#mel medarda#♡.love letters
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Bad news, got back from the vet and my beautiful baby son is going to have to be put down soon, probably tomorrow or the next day, so send him best of wishes for his next few days~ Luckily, he's actually not in a lot of pain (for now, hopefully he won't be) and is acting pretty normal, so I'm hoping he won't suffer at all and everything will be peaceful for him.
#pet death tw#death mention#let me know if I need any other tags#I would post something to help pay for his euthanasia expenses or etc. but I don't know of any secure methods#since I don't know much about stuff like that. I've heard that like on paypal and ebay and stuff people can still get your real name#and some information from their payment receipts or whatever sutff like that. thats part of why I've held off on selling clothes and sculpt#res for so long is trying to find a way to do it that's the most safe. aside from literall yhaving to start an llc and open a business bank#account and run everything on an entirely sepreate thing just so it has no association with my name and etc.#and obviouskly I don't feel like figuring out all of that stuff right now lol#I am busy just trying to make my beautiful meatloaf son comfortable and spend some time with him whilst I can#It's sad. but I'm glad the issues were caught before he was in terrible pain or anything. So suprisingly it was actually a pretty easy#decision. I would rather him go out while he's feeling okay and relatively content then wait until he's in severe#pain or extremely lethargic or etc. So it seems all very sudden but . It's better that way for him.#anyway#of COURSE this has to happen during a heat wave also.. hhrgghhh...#more fuel for my vendetta against summer lol.. Not that it's the season's fault but. something bad happening in the winter#vs. seomthing bad happening in the summer which just adds an extra layer of 'oh yeah on top of everything else#you're going to be sweating and nauseous and chronically uncomfortable!' is like.. >:T#Also for him. part of the issue is lung cancer which has spread and caused a bunch of fluid to build up in his stomach (which is what I#noticed. even though he's acting perfectly fine and normal his stomach was weird and bloated suddenly)#but if part of the problem is his lungs (which look absolutely crazy on xray) then him breathing in hot shitty thick air is definitely#not as comfortable as if he were able to be nice and cool and snuggled in some blankets. etc. etc.#ANYWAY ghhb... send him much luck and positivity!! Really hoping he can make it through the next day or so without#taking a turn for the worst. So hopeing for a peaceful quiet exit and not like tramatic sudden things. etc. etc.#cross your fingers pray to your gods whisper to the night sky so on and so forth. whatever you do that's meaningful to you.
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