no new writing because i’m on a set this weekend— HOWEVER. pls take this ‘out of the woods’ WIP snippet instead :)!!

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“I don’t understand!” I shout in frustration, nearly throwing my helmet across the room. I’m not violent, I never have been, I don’t understand why I’m so short of breath. It feels like the rage in my belly fights to be fed by all the oxygen in my lungs, my hands shaking as he slam my helmet down and punch the plush surface of my bedding.

“Dhanishka—“ Aakash tries and I whip around, pointing at him and watching his face fill with shock as I finally snap under the pressure of the weekend.

“[You all love Charles, treat him like your golden child! He coughs and you all run to get medicine, but when I am out there and I am struggling and nearly dying, you do nothing! I fought with a broken wing and a fucked up steering wheel and what help did I get?!]” I snap at him in my mother tongue, watching his face fill with something like horror as I step even closer, “[None of you were there for me! You all went to coddle poor Charlie—he was fine! I was the one who suffered for you! Where is my help? You have all done this the whole season!]”

“[Charles was frustrated—]”

I cut Aakash off, screaming, “[And I nearly killed myself out there because none of you would help! Do you think I wasn’t also frustrated?!]”

“Listen, I—“

“Get the fuck out of my room! I’m not doing media! I’m going the fuck back to my hotel.” I snap and Aakash listens, quickly ducking out of the room. I rip off my suit and throw it in my bag and I get changed into my street clothing, only pausing to touch up my makeup. I pass by Charles coming back from podium with a cold shoulder and shove through the crowd to my car, digging out my keys and getting in. I sit there, hands tight on the wheel for a while, and my fingers start to go numb as I feel like my brain is shutting off and going into autopilot.

I just sit back and watch, like a movie goer, as the world around me fades in my mind.

I come back to my senses sharply, knees digging into the tile as I’m sitting on the floor in the bathroom. I can feel the remenants of a panic attack shaking off my limbs, leaving them staticky. My hands shaking at the slamming at the door to my hotel room.

“Isa!”

There’s only one man who calls me that.

I try to shout that I’m gonna let him in but the words are caught in my throat, and I hear him echo and think I’m going crazy as I whine into the bathroom air. Then I realize I’m clutching my phone tight enough to shatter the screen and Logan’s contact is up—blazing bright into my face.

“Lo…?” I wheeze and I hear him pause mid knock before he shuffles and—

“Isa?” He crackles into the phone screen and I nearly sob at the familiarity of his voice.

“I-Give me a second. I’m coming to the door.” I whisper, slowly raising to my feet and stumbling out into the hall as my senses fight to try and come back to me in full. My hands are numb when I un-deadbolt the door and I barely have enough time to step back after I pop the door open. In a flash, Logan is everything around me, tucking me against his chest, his hand carding through my hair, kicking the door shut behind us and sighing softly.

“Oh, Isa—“ He murmurs into my hair and I feel the numbness snap away in favor of tears as I bury into his grasp and sob. I have cried more since starting F1 than I have in my entire life.

“Oh, Isa, I’m so sorry they’ve turned you into me.”

I’m happy for the little life I built for myself

Leave him alone and give him his happy ending omg o(-<

I hope we see Lucifer training Charlie in Season 2. Plus it'd be cute if Vaggie was watching and Charlie decided to see if she also wanted to join in. Because Cmom, you know if she asks him to train her too he's gonna fold like Adam.

Are you me??? I literally left a reply on someone's post about wanting to see Lucifer more in season 2 and being scared it's not gonna happen cuz he's so OP and the main character is charlie and she has to solve her own problems

and I just went in with a reply like "OKAY BUT WHAT IF HE GETS TO TRAIN HER???" That solves both problems???? We get to see more of him AND Charlie gets to problem solve without him needing to just OP his way through the story

I didn't imagine Vaggie tho! :o

seriously tho the exact thought that's been on loop in my head is Charlie accidentally activates some sort of mega-angel beam or whatever, hits Lucifer in full, and she just panics CUZ OMG DAD, DID I JUST KILL YOU??? and then from the pile of rubble, Lucifer sticks out a thumbs up and you hear a muffled "THAT WAS AMAZING SWEETIE DO IT AGAIN"

If I could tell younger me one thing it would be that; No, you're not in love, you are extremely uncomfortable and anxious right now, get tf out of there and stop avoiding aroace content. You'll be fine, just use your brain for a moment.

i am trying so so hard to make hatojosetou happen u guys

oohhh royal knight in training subaru and prince hokke oohhghh

im literally going to throw up im sooooo mad i never got to trick or treat OR sleepover OR play dnd in all SIXTEEN YEARS OF MY FUCKING LIFE..... im supposed to be a TEENAGER doing TEENAGE THINGS but for some reason i CANT

trying to make an oc meme image but. God Why. Why did i give you people such complicated designs did i do this to torture my future self that was gonna draw them again.

wait how do I draw Mikey again?????

it really is so mesmerizing just looking at my own art

watching an interview with hans zimmer and it's crazy how artists will always always always be such perfectionists about their work no matter the level they're at huh

Hi! I’m not the same anon you replied to about the settle our bones, and I’m not sure if you want to hear any other comments rn, but I wanted to say I really love all your fics but that one specifically!! I love reading sick fics, and I couldn’t care less if it’s the same thing over and over (although I don’t think your fics are like that!). So I guess “realism” never really bothered me in sick fics lol. Tbh I really like the comfort aspects of sick fics that I feel you capture really well. I really should’ve sent something like this earlier; I hope you do continue the series, but only if you want to!!

I appreciate you, thank you 💚

Anon from last time here - I am being 100% genuine, from a non-westerner to another non-westerner. Americans who believe they own the internet will be the death of me one of those days, thinking that their country's culture should be the universal standard... Well, i understand why you might think it wasn't genuine given your complicated situation right now. I really do hope that things settle down soon and you'll be left to enjoy things in peace, though, because i did enjoy reading your lore posts and the thought you put behind all of the things you say. I also hope you have a good day today! ❤️

Awwwwh, I can't help but to use this image again:

Yeah, it is.... Absurd, how MANY people without basic comprehension of how humans work and having cultish level of purism towards whatever person they decided to dehumanise just happen to be Americans. I want to find a better name for this phenomenon than "SJW wokeness" because this term is ruined by people that throw it at literally anyone who is as much as not strictly conservative, but whatever this mentality is sure it comes from USA.

On the OTHER hand, I am not doing good by generalising, especially as someone who should be well familiar with my entire nation seen as evil because of...... well, SOME things outside of control of the normal ones of us, let's call it that ok? I don't really want to automatically shun Americans who are normal and have second-hand shame for what they're associated with in worldwide internet, like... sure there must be a nicer way to communicate this anger and frustration than attributing it to nation, it is a dangerous path you know? Some people from other countries pick that mentality too, like, what about them then? sighhhh,,,.

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I side-tracked, but thank you very much nice anon, you are so cool 🥺 My trust issues increased, mostly thanks to A. who faked forgiving and chillness for 40 days and then just could not resist the temptation to participate in cancelling, but it comes down to the 'do I suffer betrayals in search for genuinety or lose both forever'? Even if things never calm down, 1) I am obnoxious canon purist ( /j) and my love for these videogames lays within source material first and fandom second, so I am past the stage of letting bad fandom experience ruin my passion and 2) They're self-isolating from the sane people within crazy witch-hunters like themselves by compiling every single time I was angry (or my friend on my behalf) through years to paint me as a monster that should be cut off from society; the problem with sanitized groups like this is that their bonds are based on hatred for external enemies and fear, they eat their own, so they won't see a happy future anyway. If one of them happens to develop mental problems that are not something tame like social anxiety and defensive self-loathing... I dread to think what happens, really. Their """allies""" will whisper and mock behind their back and plot against them.

Okay, I side-tracked AGAIN, but there are just so many things to cover @_@" No matter how clear I make myself, there is always something else I want to add! But there will be more lore posts, that's sure!

And I hope you have a good day too!

happy birthday to this blog ! 2 years of good vibes and good people and good edits ❤️ Thank you for supporting this blog 🙏🏼

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