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stellocchia · 5 months

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Thinking of Secret Life SMP hybrid headcanons right now...

Grian would be a parrotlet. They're the smallest group of parrots and I feel like with how pathetic he's been this season he deserves to be just a little guy. He's still a pesky bird who, as season 6 proved, can definitely cause some mischief despite his reduced size, but he's a little guy anyway.

Jimmy is not a canary. Because, yes, he may have the canary curse, but that's just a fancy name for the curse, not necessarily his hybrid type. No, my man is a dog. He's a goddamn chihuahua. He's all bark and annoying but you take a single threatening step toward him and he shivers in fear.

On the topic of dogs, Martyn is a pomeranian. I'm specifically making him a small dog too because, despite wanting to act cool at the end of session 6, he is still very much the one who was first on yellow and red. My man is not big dog-coded.

Now, unpopular opinion, but Scar is a raccoon hybrid. He's a mischievous chaotic menace of a man. A little criminal ready to scam, commit arson, kill, and steal. He's a raccoon. He hasn't burrowed under anyone's house yet (that I remember at least) but that wouldn't be out of character either. Honestly, I'm appalled by the fact that this isn't a far more popular headcanon for him.

And, before I move on from dogs, Etho is also dog-coded. Specifically an Akbash (big white golden retriever-looking fuckers used for the protection of livestock). I just feel like the protectiveness and overall vibe fit him very well.

Finally, moving on from dogs. Cleo is obviously a zombie hybrid. There are no two ways around it. Though this does allow for my little headcanon that, having to learn on their own skin how to sew they became really good and really quick and they're the ones making all the new outfits for everyone else.

Gem meanwhile is specifically a sculk hybrid. Though I like to think that that came about when she opened the portal. She was a deer hybrid before (mostly because I like the subversion of expectations with a "prey" hybrid so to speak being arguably the most bloodthirsty person on the server) and then it spread like an infection. I figure by now her infected half straight-up looks something like Belos monster for from TOH:

Scott is something like a Reakirt’s Blue Butterfly. Both because the colors match him, and because he is kinda The Social Butterfly. My man is always out and about mingling with others. He's so friendly that he literally didn't struggle to pull off the "love you" challenge when everyone admitted that no one else would have been able to. It would be a waste not to make him some kind of butterfly at least.

Now, for Impulse I have something less reasoned, I just think the idea of him being an imp called Impulse is way too funny to resist. And he is way more of a mischievous one than I usually see people talk about. I've seen the phasmophobia stream where he killed everyone with the cursed items several times in a row just because he wanted to try them out. I know what he's capable of.

Meawhile his bestie Skizz is so capibara coded it's unreal. Like, don't get me wrong, he's plenty chaotic. But also you will never find anyone more lawful good in the Life Series than him. I've been thinking this since Love Island was founded. My man is the king of chilling with everyone. (Aside from Jimmy, rip Jimmy).

At the risk of being boring, I also like seeing Tango as a salamander hybrid. Exclusively because of the mythological connection between salamanders and fire. Also, the idea that every time he's flying (though it's funnier if it's also when he's simply jumping) he's nothing but a ball of fire with a lizard tail is very funny to me.

BigB is a hard one because I've only watched a couple of episodes from his POV so I'm not quite as familiar with the lore surrounding him as I am with the others. So I'm not sure. I want to say enderman because of his cryptid vibes this season, but he's not one of the characters with the biggest connection to the end. Those are mostly BDubs, Gem, and Lizzie, so I don't know. I'm open to suggestions.

Talking about BDubs, why are there no ender dragon hybrid headcanons for him around? I think it would be incredibly ironic if the dragon slayer was a dragon himself. Also, his house is under the Earth just like the End portals. Trust me, it makes so much sense. He's small but so full of righteous anger.

Pearl is no hybrid, she's literally just a witch. I've seen the WITCH animatic and that fundamentally changed my view of her forever. Before I would have said a moth hybrid of some kind because I do like moth Pearl, but I love that specific interpretation so much it's unreal. She is a witch with an army of hellhounds at her back and call.

Mumbo is a vampire because I've seen some art of vampire Mumbo at some point in time and it hasn't left my head since. Also, he's one of the players with the highest bloodlust every time he turns red. We're 2 for 2 on that with his appearances in the Life series. And it's usually also what leads to his demise. So I feel like that would be fitting for a vampire.

Meanwhile, my dearly beloved blorbo Joel is a honey-badger. This is a headcanon that is incredibly dear to me and I've never seen around but it's literally SO FITTING. The absolute crackhead energy, the lack of self-preservation, and the surprising sturdiness as time and time again he gets himself in impossible situations and still manages to survive until pretty much the end are all that exact honey-badger vibe. Like, just thinking of him summoning a hoard of zombies to fight off several infected and surviving for quite a while in those conditions just, really proves my point. Enough said.

Lizzie meanwhile is a very sad sopping wet cat. Just absolutely miserable. One of those cats who look like they're constantly grumpy. The frown has deepened ever since no one came to her party and she's still frowning in the void of death.

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silverskye13 · 1 year

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I posted 978 times in 2022

That's 220 more posts than 2021!

506 posts created (52%)

472 posts reblogged (48%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@silverskye13

@theminecraftbee

@redwinterroses

@bananasofthorns

@countthelions

I tagged 955 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#spazzcat barks - 176 posts

#answering asks - 162 posts

#the barking writer - 102 posts

#the barking artist - 96 posts

#anonymous - 93 posts

#docm77 - 84 posts

#hermitcraft - 73 posts

#rendog - 58 posts

#delete later - 55 posts

#spazzcat wips - 51 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#if i were the kind of person who made animatics i would make them sword fighting to it but alas i'm not the kind of person who makes animati

My Top Posts in 2022:

“I’m tired, Cleo.” “Well you know Etho, I can give you an excuse to rest, if y’like. I am all gordan-y now.” “That’s... actually kind of tempting.” “It’s a lovely view too. It’ll be easy - I’ll just turn you into a statue, and you can watch the water for a bit. And then when you’re all rested, we’ll just un-stone you again.” “........ yeah that’s... tempting.”

You ask for Cleo or Etho? How dare you make me choose between them! [hands you both] @mishapen-dear

1,269 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

Oh, will I find a love, or a power plug?

Oh, digitally isolated

Oh, creator, please don't leave me waiting

Hello, world.

1,310 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

Got pissed off at my watercolors so I doodled a BDubs.

1,520 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

"Good morning Canary," Tango greets him brightly, in a voice that's liquid sunshine. "It's time to get the session started! We've got cows to feed and a chicken-barbeque-ificator to make."

He ducks out of the house he built, with materials he gathered while Jimmy was out begging for a bucket of water. He hasn't once brought this up. He hasn't once reminded Jimmy he isn't being very helpful, or told him he makes dumb decisions. He hasn't made Jimmy the butt of a joke, unless the joke is about both of them.

Jimmy stands and stretches. The house is full of the smell of food, which is funny because Tango says he can't cook. Just like how he says he can't build, except he built their house, and Impulse used to gush about the crazy things Tango would build when they were in the Southlands together. Jimmy wonders what people have told Tango about him. He knows the canary thing, obviously. Does he know they're doomed, because he's here?

It's not that Jimmy feels useless, or pathetic. It's just that, well, he's used to people bringing it up by now, isn't he? It's a fun game. Remind Jimmy he's a bit useless at times. Except Tango isn't playing along.

Jimmy grabs the finished chicken from the furnace and eats his breakfast while he walks. Tango is replanting some wheat in the garden and muttering to himself as he works. He can't go mining, he's too vulnerable. Except he went down into the mines yesterday when Jimmy was taking damage, to make sure he was okay.

There's a lot of things that Tango can't do.

He can't cook. He can't build. He can't mine. He can't fight.

There's a lot of things that Tango won't do, too.

He won't play along. He won't hold things against Jimmy. He won't remind him he's kind of useless sometimes.

Jimmy wonders what else Tango can't, won't, do.

Tango looks up from the wheat field and cuts off his muttering with a nervous laugh.

"Oh hey Canary! Welcome to the land of the living." He hands Jimmy a few pieces of wheat. "Thanks for getting those cows yesterday, by the way! That's gonna be a life saver later."

Jimmy smiles and laughs. It's weird, being congratulated like this. It's not that he isn't loved, or has never gotten praise. It's just that most people aren't so forward with it. Genuine. Jimmy can't take a compliment. He's never had to before. He's used to digging for them through veiled words and backhanded fondness.

"Well hey, don't worry about it big man," Jimmy stammers. "You know I've got us covered."

"Well at least one of us knows what he's doing, right?" Tango laughs, and once again Jimmy feels like he's being washed in liquid sunlight.

Tango can't do a lot of things. He can't build a house. He can't cook. He can't mine.

Tango won't do even more. He won't put Jimmy in his place. He won't play along. He won't acknowledge his own accomplishments.

Maybe they really were made for each other. Maybe, for once, the universe knew what it was doing when it tied their souls with string.

Jimmy wanders back to the pen to feed the cows. He wonders if the canary is ever fond of the coal mine, if the dark halls and cold stone bring it comfort before the end. He wonders if the mine is ever fond of the birdsong, if it ever regrets it's choking embrace.

There's a lot of things Tango can't do. Jimmy wonders what they can't do together.

1,600 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

In the infamous words of Selena Gomez: The heart wants what the heart wants.

As always, open image in new tab to read and view!

2,308 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #lol amazing #Pleasantly surprised some of my writing made it into top posts #Long post

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disasterhawke · 5 months

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omegaverse in here at the edge of the moon

I had a lovely comment on petrichor and patchouli asking for me to talk about my non-standard version of a/b/o and how it’s set up and why. I have absolutely loved exploring this trope, especially in terms of its queer potential, and some of the decisions I made are very much linked to that. This is going to be a rambly exploration of those decisions, so I'm sorry for not giving you something more organised.

Note: Below the cut there is discussion of sexual practices, sometimes graphic, as you'd expect for talking about a sexual trope!

There are a few kind of core tenets to how I wanted to set things up. The main one is that I wanted things to be personal to each character. I didn’t want all the alphas to be dominant and all the omegas to be submissive, necessarily. Equally, designations are very much separate from gender, which is pretty standard for omegaverse but I’ll talk more about how I interpret that further in a bit.

In terms of peoples’ sexuality this was a separate choice - I am personally uncomfortable with countering the declared sexualities of the MCYT personae/players. For example, I would never feel comfortable showing Scott or Gem as straight. Beyond that, though, I tend to make everyone bi/pan because it just opens up more shipping options and I bloody love a polycule.

It was also super important to me that people retain consent no matter what. I have included alpha voice as a concept, but with the caveat that it’s possible to resist it if you truly want to. I also built into the world building that both the Secret Life server and Hermitcraft have protections on them to prevent any abuse. But it goes beyond just being able to resist alpha voice - I wanted a world where everyone respected one another’s boundaries, especially in representing an acespec Gem.

I have chosen to make mating non-permanent, because I think it’s more realistic and means you can show a greater range of how relationships work. Especially since I have, essentially, made everyone either poly or in an open relationship of some kind. I personally practice relationship anarchy and this is something I try to represent in my fics. This includes exploring that even in pack relationships like with Gem, Etho, Cleo and Grian, there are differences in their relationships with each other and the fact that they’re having sex doesn’t necessarily mean they’re involved romantically. Similar, Gem’s relationship with Pearl is just as pivotal and important as her relationship with Etho.

I also wanted peoples’ relationships and mating to not be limited to alpha/omega and beta/beta. I didn’t want this to undo the trope entirely - so you will see that Grian and Mumbo are mates but as an omega/omega couple they often need to seek outside help for getting through their heats. With all that said, mating is still not a small thing, it’s still very significant and is difficult to undo.

This links to another pivotal non-standardness that I wanted to include: that knotting is not the sole solution or magic wand to solving heat/rut. This is obviously partly linked to wanting alpha/alpha or omega/omega pairs to be possible, but it’s also because I didn’t want peoples’ sexual preferences to be limited by the requirement to knot. There are many people who do not like, or cannot have penetrative sex, for example, and I wanted there to be a way for those people to exist. So in this world, knotting is a ‘more powerful’ way of relieving heat/rut symptoms, but not the be all and end all of it.

When it came to writing a cis female alpha in Pearl, I thought a lot about how I wanted to do this. Traditional a/b/o tends to give them a clitoris that inflates to the size of a penis, which can then be used for penetrative sex and to knot people. I ultimately did decide to use this, but I wanted Pearl’s relationship with her sexuality to be more complex than “I’m a female alpha so I penetrate people”. So I made it important to her rut to both receive and give penetrative sex. I wanted to avoid the alpha = (cis) male, omega = (cis) female equivalence and make it all very personal to the character(s).

It will also be noticed that a lot of what makes this interpretation of a/b/o more non-standard is the inclusion of preferences or unique sexual experiences. Whether that’s Gem’s asexuality, Cleo’s preference to not have penetration, or Pearl’s difficulty with orgasm, these experiences fundamentally queer the narrative because it introduces a complexity that you don’t always see in “alpha gets real horny and rails their omega” style a/b/o - which, to be clear, I do also love, it’s just not what I wanted to write!

One aspect of a/b/o that I did not include is the more furry/animalistic side of the trope. I have nothing against hybrids or that side of things, it's just not my kink! So I have taken a very human version of a/b/o - at least in the sense that no one is walking round with ears or a tail. This is probably an unusual take in this particular fandom too because there are so many fandom interpretations of the characters that DO make them hybrids in some form. I am sure others have explored that better than I ever could/would!

With all of those things said, let me talk to you about the piece of the omegaverse trope that I have most loved writing: scents.

I love sneaking poetry into my writing and holy shit does scenting let you do that. At this point I might as well have tagged these fics with ‘scent kink’ because it’s me, I’m the scent kink. I am very sensitive to scent personally, and I have really strong emotions that I associate with scents, and sometimes strong memories. So I wanted to have peoples’ scents in this be more than just literal scents. This really grew organically as I was writing, too. It just felt right to have Pearl describe Gem as smelling like running wild through the woods, or for Etho to describe her as a storm at sea. Something you’ll notice about this is that everyone smells different to everyone - including that what they smell like to themselves isn’t what they smell like to other people. Because I wanted this, like everything else, to be personal and to reflect the emotions they feel about that person. And to be all about the feels, of course.

I lastly wanted to mention that the way I set things up, the Secret Life server itself is a non-standard representation of a/b/o in the world I have created. Because it’s not normal to have suppressants to be banned, or mating to be unravelled for the time you’re there. I wanted the presence of a/b/o in the Secret Life setting to ultimately be an extension of that wildness, that chance to let loose and be free, that we love about the series and that in this story, the characters go there to experience.

I'm working on more entries in the series, and I know I want to explore disability in this context as well as having at least one trans character, and I'd also like to look at some more angsty takes on things because, you know, angst is glorious. As I keep going I'm sure I will find more ways to juggle the trope like the glorious pick and mix that it is.

So there you go - a rambly overview of my interpretation of the omegaverse in here at the edge of the moon.

#trafficblr #secret life smp #trafficshipping #mcyt fanfiction #secret life fanfic #here at the edge of the moon #a/b/o #omegaverse #fanfic meta #fanfic tropes

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shadeswift99 · 3 years

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Rating Hermits based on whether or not I'd call them to help me hide a body

Because it's 1:00 am again and you know what that means, it's time for me to make another unhinged list and immediately pass out afterwards! (Mandatory disclaimers: personas only obviously, also I promise I did not actually kill a guy)

Mumbo: I'm not sure how he'd deal with a body but I get the feeling that if I asked him to help me hide one he'd probably have a panic attack. 0/10 not because he'd be a snitch but just because I don't want to put the poor guy through that

Grian: If I could prove it was for a good cause, this guy would 100% help me hide a body. He seems like he has experience, which might be useful. 9/10 because there is the small chance that he'll report it if he gets bored with keeping a secret

Iskall: He would absolutely help me hide a body, no questions asked, but I'd owe him big time afterwards. 8/10 because debt to the tree man scary

Tango: Realistically, he'd probably be about the same as Grian in terms of helping me if he knew I was in the right. However, this man also can't lie for shit so 6/10 not willing to get my cover blown

Impulse: Shovel shuffle. 10/10

Zedaph: There are two options here: either Zed freaks out and I'd end up wishing I hadn't put this burden on him, or he is Weirdly Calm about the whole body hiding thing. Option one I'd feel horrible about, option 2 would be terrifying. 0/10

Doc: Would take the body and tell me to "stop worrying about it". I am not at all confident that he won't use it for some form of less-than-advisible science. 4/10 might go to him in a pinch but it would make me nervous

Ren: He would check to make sure I was okay, but really I don't think he would want to implicate himself in the crime. He would probably tell me to go find someone else to help. 5/10 wouldn't rat me out but also wouldn't give much more than emotional support

False: Queen of heads, hearts, and body parts. 'Nuff said. 11/10

Stress: She would be unexpectedly, scarily calm about it. She would probably teach me how to dissolve the body in acid or something, all while reassuring me that everything was going to be fine. 9/10 great help but I'd be a little worried about how many times she's done this before

Cleo: Is this even a question? "Dealing with a dead body" is just Cleo's day-to-day life (Death? Undeath? Un-life?). Wouldn't be phased at all. 100/10

Xisuma: By the end of this interaction, I will have had at least one cup of tea, I will probably be crying, and X will have throughly convinced me to turn myself in to the authorities. -99/10 the tea and talk would be good but this is kind of the opposite of "hiding"

Bdubs: Way, way too comfortable with this. Offers to help me fake my death and change my identity along with hiding the body. 2/10 he'd be very thorough but I'd probably end up with a forged birth certificate and an unnecessary plane ticket to Russia or something

Joe: Absolute wild card. He probably doesn't trust the justice system enough to turn me in to the police, but he certainly wouldn't just help me hide a body without a good long talk about exactly what I was thinking first. Still, no clue what he would do after that. ???/10

Keralis: Ruthless capitalist with unsettling eyes? -10/10 wouldn't ask him for anything but 100/10 would pin the murder on him, seems like an easy scapegoat

Etho: Like Iskall, except instead of an unspoken agreement that I owe him something undefined, Etho would make me sign away something or other in a rather fluidly-worded contract that I am in no way comfortable with signing. He would then disappear into the night without a trace until the time came to collect his payment. -100/10 he is absolutely smarter than me and seems like a very bad person to be in debt to, no matter how good Shade-E-E's impromptu burial service might be.

#Hermitcraft #tw death #tw implied violence #uuuuh ask to tag if i missed anything #shade rambles #listen i promise i don't purposely stay up to make these they just happen #i know i missed a few Hermits but it's now 1:36 am and i gotta shreep #also i actually had a more in-depth analysis for Impulse; but just saying shovel shuffle was 100% funnier so #shovel shuffle my dudes :)#time to go pass out #(queued for a more reasonable time in case i reread it in the morning and it's full of typos)

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redorich · 3 years

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In the HermitCanyon au, How is my favorite Bee armored Admin doing? How long does it take for Xisuma to become.. aware of what is happening? For the first few sections it seemed like he was in a coma/unconscious. In the most recent bit Impulse tells Etho to get Xisuma, so at least theoretically he can now move, but how long has it taken him to get there, and where is he on the scale to full recovery? Are the other hermits keeping him safe with rabbit stew? (if they have rabbits that is...)

Part 2 of this.

Etho comes back twenty minutes later with a solemn look on his face. (At least, Puffy assumes. She can't actually see most of his face because of that mask of his.)

"X is in a bad way today," he says quietly. "I can take Puffy to him if you guys would like to stay here with Zedaph."

Impulse and Tango look nervously at each other. On one hand, they very much would like to stay with Zedaph, who is mostly healed but still very loopy and probably should not be moved. On the other hand, allowing Puffy deep into the Hermits' inner sanctum is a risk in and of itself, let alone with only one Hermit with her. Etho's a good fighter and a wily bastard, but Puffy is most certainly no slouch.

In the end, it comes down to trust. How much can they show Puffy before they can no longer trust that she won't snitch? How sure are they that she won't try to kill them all and steal their stuff?

"Tell Xisuma I said hi," Zedaph warbles from the bed in the corner of the room, out of any window's line of sight.

As Etho presses a button which removes a panel of the wall in a whir of piston noises, Puffy snorts out a little laugh. "I'll be sure to do that."

Tango nods subtly to Impulse. If Puffy brought Zedaph back to the canyon, saved him from a painful respawn, and didn't once ask for anything in return, then the Hermits can trust her at least this much.

Etho leads Puffy through a short hallway into a large circular room with a domed ceiling. The room is mostly quartz, though the walls are lined with sea lanterns and oak leaves. It’s beautiful. This place has been hiding under her feet this whole time?

“This is the Atrium,” Etho says, “or at least the main one. Come on, getting a mule will be more trouble than it’s worth if you’re not carrying anything.”

Puffy is speechless, utterly and profoundly, when Etho takes her through a tunnel on the opposite side of where she entered. It almost looks as though the tunnel here was carved by hand, then completely redone in dirt and grass and vines to give it a secretive, high fantasy look.

“Hey, Etho!” says a dark-haired man with a big smile as he comes trotting out of a branching hallway to the left. “Hey--” He catches sight of Puffy and his smile dissipates into panic. He shouts incoherently and dives back into the hallway he just exited.

“Hey Bdubs,” Etho greets impishly, then turns to Puffy. “Man, it’s like he saw a ghost or something. Maybe Mothman.”

Puffy bleats out a surprised laugh. Up ahead, she spots another Hermit lurking around the corner of the archway Etho is leading her toward.

“Etho,” says a tall blonde woman. “Cleo wants to talk to you about, er...” The blonde woman glances at Puffy. “Her thing,” she finishes lamely.

“Well, as you can see, I’m a bit busy at the moment. Would you mind telling Cleo so she doesn’t skin me alive?” Etho says sweetly.

The blonde woman snorts. “Face the music, Mothman. I’ll take care of Puffy from here. I assume you’re taking her to Xisuma?”

Etho wilts. Clearly, whoever this Cleo person is, she’s not someone to piss off. Puffy wonders what Etho did.

“See ya around,” Etho waves, somehow both cheery and morose at the same time, like a funeral for someone nobody liked. Puffy and the blonde woman watch him go.

“My name’s False, by the way,” the blonde woman says. “Thanks for the bandanna. Normally I’d be wearing it, but I just got back from beating up Iskall.”

The woman-- False-- laughs. Puffy is once again taken aback by the idea that the Hermits actually use the items that she makes for them.

False takes off in a brisk walk toward the archway she’d come out of. Jumping a little bit at being torn from her thoughts, Puffy hurries to follow. It’s hard to keep up, since all Puffy wants to do is stare. She must be in the living quarters-- they let her in the living quarters?! Each door matches the high fantasy, underground sort of aesthetic, but a few doors are left open and each one is remarkably different on the inside. One room is built entirely out of red and white concrete, whereas another is Nether-themed with actual fire, and the room down the hall is entirely underwater!

One door is different. It’s got blue-purple banners along the frame, and when False opens the door for Puffy, she can see that the room is made of blackstone bricks. Maps of the Dream SMP line the wall, and in the center of the room there is a mildly ornate table made of warped wood.

At the end of the table in the back of the room, opposite the door, sits a trio. To the left, there is a plain-looking man with a beard and an “at” symbol on his shirt. He speaks in a Southern accent to a man on the right side of the table, who wears a red sweater and twirls a feather between his fingers like the cat that got the canary.

In between the two, at the head of the table, rests someone very unique. He’s obviously tall, that much is obvious even when he’s sitting down. He’s also got mesmerizing purple eyes which glow faintly against the dark of the blackstone. Puffy doesn’t know why, but she gets the feeling that they’re supposed to be glowing much brighter.

As taken by the man’s eyes as she is, Puffy doesn’t notice the non-invasive breathing tube the man also has (a cannula? She doesn’t know what it’s called, but that sounds right) until the man’s gaze falls upon her, still standing in the doorway next to False.

“Oh,” the man says. “You’re not supposed to be here. Welcome.”

False steps forward, breaking Puffy from her trance. “Puffy, this is Xisuma, Joe, and Grian. I’d introduce you to them as well, but... you know.”

“I don’t know-- oh,” Puffy says awkwardly, catching sight of the massive crochet blanket she’d made for the Hermit months ago, draped across Xisuma’s shoulders.

“Why are you here?” Grian asks with a tilted head. “No offense or anything, but I just lost a bet. I had three diamonds on Cub bringing you in here eventually-- he’s the one you usually meet at the barrel, you know.”

False interjects, “I didn’t bring her down here, it was Etho!”

“Shoot,” Joe says. “Cleo wins yet again.”

“It was Zedaph, actually,” Puffy says. All eyes turn to her. “I found him on the surface. He was really injured, so I brought him back here. Impulse and-- Tango? Yeah, Tango-- told Etho to take me down here.”

Puffy uncharacteristically twiddles her fingers a little bit, feeling in over her head. “Uh, you know I’m not gonna tell or anything, so... Why am I here?”

The full weight of Xisuma’s piercing stare falls upon her. Even as fragile as he looks, even as strong as Puffy is, she feels a jolt of apprehension.

“You’d know more about the red vines than we do,” he begins. “Etho mentioned that they’re what hurt Zedaph; he’s mentioned them on multiple occasions, and never in a good way. How long do you think it would take for those vines to reach our village, and what do you think would happen once they do?”

“As far as we’re aware, there are several players who are proponents of the vines, and claim they originate from some sort of egg?” Joe adds. “I’ve had a hard time calculating how big of a mushroom we’d need to make an omelet out of the egg, but apparently most of my fellow Hermits do not in fact want evil eggs on their omelets.”

“And how come the End is inaccessible?” Grian cuts in with a whine. “I want my elytra.”

Xisuma huffs a laugh into the cannula. “As you can see, we have many questions which only a native Dream SMP player like yourself can answer. In the interest of keeping ourselves safe--” he trails off into a coughing fit.

Puffy bites her lip, feeling as though she really shouldn’t be seeing this. Joe rests his hand on Xisuma’s back.

“You give us answers, and we’ll give you diamonds, netherite, whatever you want. And when we move out-- well, it wasn’t much of a secret anyway-- we’ll offer you a safe place with us,” Grian speaks up on Xisuma’s behalf.

A thousand thoughts spin inside Puffy’s head. She feels like Dorothy in that tornado, and Grian’s offer is the Wicked Witch. “Did you guys really save Tommy’s life?” she finds herself asking.

The Hermits seem taken aback.

“The blond kid?” False asks. “Yeah, but he was unconscious the whole time. I think Scar told the kid to keep us a secret, but... I don’t think any of us expected that to actually work.”

Puffy laughs disbelievingly. “He’s the one person on the entire server who keeps insisting that you guys aren’t real.”

“That’s good to hear,” Xisuma says quietly. “Do you have an answer for us, or would you like some time to consider?”

There are a thousand and one variables Puffy needs to think about. What is Dream’s stance on the Hermits? Who will she be setting herself against by allying with the Hermits? What will Puffy have to expect, from both underground and surface-dwelling players alike? Which players can she take in a fight?

Fuck it, she thinks. “You’ve got yourselves a deal.”

Xisuma smiles. Despite his ill condition, she gets the feeling that this nice, mild-mannered man is far more dangerous than she could ever hope to be.

“I’m glad to have you on our side, Puffy,” he says. “Thank you for your help.”

#mcyt #hc x dsmp #hermit canyon au #captain puffy #ethoslab #zedaphplays #impulsesv #tango tek #xisuma #bdubs #zombiecleo #falsesymmetry #iskall85 #joe hills #grian #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #me.cpp #me.txt

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mobsuma · 3 years

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I make original content, yessir, I am definitely not hopping on bandwagons bc shade had a 1AM idea and now I'm curious-

Hermits (personas) rated by if I fought them obviously this is a joke

Joe- would be repelled by sheer force of Vibe, its not gonna happen T̴͎̊h̷̢̞̋a̶̟͙̽̄̍t̴̔̅͜'̴̜͘̕s̶͖̋ ̶̼́͆̚t̶̟̋͆h̶̳͐e̷̛̤̪͉͝ ̵̫̦͔̿̌́J̶̧̘̖́͒̋o̴̧̯̗̓̔̒ȅ̵̛͙͓̮͘ ̴̻̊̏H̴̳̤̄́̑i̸̧͉̓ͅĺ̷̰͗̋l̸̹̓̕͝s̵̥̥͎̀̀͛ ̴̧̈́͗D̶̡̮̹̍̊̇i̸̯̍͗͠f̸͖͘͠f̶̠̍̈͠ê̷̢̻̟̈́̏r̸̢̐͛͗e̷̥͗ṋ̸͒̂ͅç̶̤͋̕e̸̤̮͛̾/10

Cleo- *chuckles* I'm in danger! 1/10

Jevin- I punch him and my hand goes straight through him. We both stand there in silence for a while. Jevin equips boots and curbstomps me into the dust 1/10 not sure what happened there but it sure did

Impulse- have you seen how many totems this man has? This man cannot die 2/10

Cub- heard i was coming and trapped me in an obsidian box with nothing but a copy of the hermitton herald 2/10 i respect the grind

Welsknight- my self esteem has been shredded like wheat by his sick bars 3/10

Xisuma- would pick me up by the scruff of my neck and ask me if I'm doing ok. I am small and can easily be held at a safe distance, all I would gain is disappointment in myself 3/10

Iskall- supplexes me and I die within seconds 4/10 at least I got a hug out of it

Grian- would probably use his Gremlin Fast Powers to wear me out before properly attacking. And it would work. I am not built for combat or handling a grian 5/10 it'll be fun to watch

Scar- Government? Capitalism? Square up thot this is nothing personal 6/10 I would still get rekt

Zedaph- got trapped in an intro skit I'm not gonna make it 7/10

Tango- would probably find it more funny than anything, foolishly, while he's distracted I steal his kneecaps and- oh wait no I shouldn't have distracted him from ravager wrangling we're both dead 7/10 probably looked funny

Ren- I feel like it'd be a reasonably fair fight until he says something flirty and I completely bluescreen 7/10

Etho- end up trapped in a maze made out of free glass while being harassed by endermites. I don't know how I got here but once I get out I will be fighting Mr. Slab on principle 8/10 odds of survival low but the theatrics are nice

Mumbo- ok I actually stand a reasonable chance here provided that he is A. Not allowed elytra and B. Tall lanky spoon man. He's bad at pvp, I'm bad at pvp and I need to regain some of my lost self esteem, its perfect 9/10

Doc- kills me in one punch and I would thank him for it 10/10

Bdubs- try and get the drop on him while he's asleep bc I would be absolutely shredded to pieces if he knew I was there. Is it cheesing the fight? It sure is but now I have a bdubs head that I can enjoy for the .5 seconds it takes for him to respawn 10/10 i will now be running away

#hermitcraft #im not gonna tag everyone thats just cruel #hey update bc someone somehow found this post again:#I'd rank them all 10/10 bc i am confident i could kill any one of them (in minecraft) within 10 seconds

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hermitcraftheadcanons · 4 years

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AU Raffle: Cryptid AU!

[COMPLETE]

The result of the random selection was the Cryptid AU! Multiple people suggested this, so I'm looking forward to hearing all the ideas and extensions you guys will come up with. This will be a masterpost collecting them all, and it will be pinned for the duration of the AU.

Original suggestion: "For the Raffle. Cryptid AU. None of the Hermits are truly human and they all are really powerful cryptids that are hiding their true nature. The catch! Every Hermit thinks the other Hermits are totally normal and they are the only cryptid one. Hilarity ensures with everyone trying to explain the extrange things that keep happening "

Some ideas I came up with:

- every Hermit is a cryptid or monster of some kind, except for Grian, who is fully human and completely clueless about everything that's going on (suggested by a previous ask)

- Team ZIT is an investigation group trying to prove the existence of cryptids, but each one of them is subtly trying to sabotage the investigation to hide their own cryptid-ness. None of the three know the other two are also cryptids. Hilarity ensues.

- Xisuma probably knows what's going on with everyone, but he's not saying anything

- Mumbo is doing an absolutely horrible job of hiding that he's a cryptid, but somehow people still don't notice. Iskall is probably the closest to figuring it out.

- VintageBeef has already figured out that Keralis isn't human, but Keralis is bribing him to keep quiet

I hope that's enough to get the ball rolling! Send in your ideas using asks, and I'll put them down here!

If you need ideas about which cryptid would fit best with which Hermit, this list may be helpful.

Anonymous Additions:

- I feel like xisuma should be some kind of shapeshifter

- cleo was brought back to life by a family that loved her very much- or at least, that was what they tried to do. in reality, they brought a completely new soul back in the body of a deceased relative. cleo felt uncomfortable around people who thought she was a different person than she was, so she ran away and eventually befriended the hermits bc she just felt ~drawn to them~. she disguises her bloodless skin and lack of body heat with thick clothes and lots of makeup

- Cleo, of course, is a zombie, but she also has ties to Cthulu that she doesn't really try to hide, but that people overlook all the time. I'm just saying, an avatar of an eldritch being having to be a zombie kinda makes sense...

- Cthulu needed a body, and this kind family was nice enough to supply one! It was kinda their fault really, praying to ancient gods and making deals without reading the fine print. Cleo might feel guilty, but it wasn't on her, not really

- cryptid au: joe isn't a human, but a changeling: a shapeshifting, nonhuman entity that evolved to invade human families like a cuckoo. he has the ability to bend light to make illusions, but he normally just uses his powers to make himself appear human. however he does like to make all lime green things he sees invisible, for the lulz

- What about mumbo being a vampire, it just introduces the idea of so many odd behaviors that the others are just oblivious to

- What if ren is a werewolf(I know it isn't original) and he just thinks of the other hermits as his pack and is therefor very protective of them

- Obligatory Ren is a Werewolf for the Cryptid AU. He is acts like a gigant puppy when he is in wolf form. Nobody questions why sometimes they found a gigant wolf trying to play fetch with them. But nobody is complaining. Everyone talks about it and Ren is just upset because the gigant pupper has never come to see him. Surprise!! Not even Ren knows he is a werewolf

- idk if your still doing cryptid stuff because i don't really know how this works but,, what if everyone thinks that Grian Is Something when he's not. They keep trying to figure it out by asking him weird questions or trying to get him to do weird stuff, but he still stays completely oblivious. And then since Xisuma knows what everyone is, he thinks it's hilarious trying to watch everyone try to find something that isn't there.

- Cryptid au: Doc has made it obvious that he is a cryptid like, he explains it so obviously even an idiot would tell that he's one, But no one has figured out yet. So after the 15th time of explaining things he decides to present how he's a cryptid, by making a goatess.

- For the au, I have 2 ideas for grian, either he is very outspoken about not believing in the super natural, or he very much does believe in the supernatural, either way he unknowingly befriends multiple cryptids and is very confused

- Cryptic AU: Tango has fire for hair, and no ones really questioned as to why?

- What if false was a siren, just because it seems like an interesting idea (my addition: Wels would also make a great siren)

- Stress seems like the type to be an elf, graceful and cheerful, and of course admiring nature's beauty

- What if Impulse was mothman, I like this idea because of the whole team zit being paranormal investigators and they just go looking for mothman on one trip, and Impulse is just standing there probably feeling a bit awkward

- If Impulse is Mothman and he can fly and Tango is like a fire demon that controls fire, is only fair that Zed is an aquatic Cryptid. Maybe related to a lake monster or he is a Sea Serpent

- Yeti Iskall getting used to the hot environment of the Jungle??? Maybe?

- i have no clue how this works but etho is related to ningen in a way (Antarctic sea creatures from Japanese folklore)

- Joe's poems seem to stick in your head, echoing around for hours after you hear them, ringing between your ears. Their subjects vary, but they often seem eerily prophetic, warnings encased in rhythm and rhyme. Sometimes you swear you can hear the soft scritch of a pen on paper, before you realize you are the only one around.

- Wait how the hell would jevin hide that fact he's a slime? Better yet how do the other hermits not put to and to together? Through I think jevin probably wouldn't even bother trying to hide it, I mean he's a huge blob of slime how would you not be able to tell

(my response, summarized) Jevin inhabits a body of slime because that's the easiest way to hide his true form. "Jevin" is a non-physical entity that can possess other lifeforms by destroying their will. He chose a slime this time because it was easy and inconspicuous.)

- Cryptid au: Team ZIT have a headquarters and they all pitched in to commission Etho to make their door bell chime, the ghost busters theme, and afterward interrogated Etho to the ground.

- Doc is not a creeper with cyborneticts. Doc is the AI that came with the cyborneticts and over-wrote the conciousness of the creeper. Figured that making Doc something else would be too dificult so maybe subverting what he is with what we got alredy is enough (like you did with Jevin)

- I am putting this here for vampire mumbo in the au because the thought will not leave my head. It's dark, and mumbo's eyes seem to reflect light very well, his canine teeth seem just a bit too long and sharp, they seem to be stained red,was he always this tall? Something about him seems off, he seems very elegant in this darkness.

- cryptid au: when joe was young, he was ignored so much that he turned invisible. you can still see his shadow but you could look directly at him and not see him there with the best tools. he disguises himself by staying quiet, using text to communicate with the other hermits or by covering himself with clothes and masks so nobody would be able to see his body even if he wasnt invisible.

- For the au I think that Iskall could be a dryad because of his base this season

- Imagine if you will: Tango leaves town for a bit so the team ZIT can't do their "investigations". Impulse gets bored and decided to pretend to kidnap Zedaph in mothman-form. When Tango returns, Zedaph tells him how he almost was kidnapped by Mothman (and is over-exaggerating on every detail)

- What if in the au there is a situation where team zit is in some sort of danger, and so each of them just independently decide that they have to reveal the fact of their cryptid selves, and they just collectivly think,"huh. Okay." And after they are safe, they just talk about it as a group

- Beef is big foot.

- Biffa looks like a robot or cyborg, which one? He won't say. Maybe its because its neither, maybe he's just a walking body with a mind, maybe he's just a suit of armor roaming the world, maybe a spirit or ghost from the past, maybe a mob whose inhabited and pilots the body, maybe he's just Biffa. Only he knows, but he won't say

- Cryptid AU: I’m just imagining zedaph or tango throwing a bell at grian in an attempt to “capture” him under the suspicion that he’s part fae or something at a server meeting

- About Cryptid!Wels, sometimes, when the night is dark and the world is silent, you'll hear it; a soft voice in the darkness. You can't help but listen to it as you get lost in the song, swaying to the melody as your foot moves to the beat. The song gets louder and your feet are more frantic as they seem to take you somewhere. Suddenly, the voice stops singing and so you stop moving, and when you open your eyes you find yourself on the edge of the cliff overlooking the ocean. The siren lurks near

- Doc isnt a Creeper with cybrog parts but a robot made to look like a creeper, that arm and eye? yea just exposed parts from years of just not caring enough. He's waiting to see when someone will call him out on it. So far, only TFC and X but they like to watch how long this will go. Doc isnt even hiding anymore, he loves to mess with Grian by making remarks that imply he's a robot but Grian just can't figure it out

- tbh I love the idea of Joe as a regular human who just acts super cryptic and strange, and has a bit of skill at poetry. others try and figure out what he is, and he's just vibing in a corner, the last one anyone would expect to be the sole normal person on the server

- Cryptid AU. Joe and Cleo as the ‘One Bagel. No!! Two bagels!’ Vine. Joe being the one that asked and Cleo ignoring Cthulhu

- Joe starts sharing different ideas of what he could be, and only Cleo knows (mostly... she's the closest at least). Joe's mystery is a Hermitcraft classic, greeting every hermit except X, who still only has what Joe's told him to go on. He delights in the chaos he causes

- Scar is a poltergeist, he hides it well. One time Grian caught him using his powers, after scar fessed up, in private, they both bring some amount of chaos to the server, but not to much so the ZIT crypt hunters, name in progress, don't know about the chaos, thus not puting the duo in danger.

- Mumbo might be a vampire, but it isn’t for blood (at least, not anymore). Only Grian has come close to figuring it out, and it’s due to seeing how refreshed and satisfied his friend looks after being around 2+ groups of people. If only he would just straight up and ask. - 🦊

- Rather last minute but do you have any ideas of how Evil Xisuma could fit into this? Would he be a shapeshifter as well. A copy of X's true form? A demon haunting Xisuma? Just X's pesky brother? There's a handful of ideas I can't personally decide what would fit best. Maybe none of them at all, who know?

Cryptid Au. Xisuma shapeshifts for fun. Thats how we get Turtle!Xisuma, Beesuma and Stridersuma. All hermits just assume X changes his suit because they have never seen his face so there is no way for them to know he shifts. Also clasic headcanon that TFC is Herobrine and he is just laying low in Hermitcraft after years of going around worlds. Everyone knows the legend about Herobrine but have not connected the dots yet because TFC is just everyone’s grandpa. No way he could be Herobrine.

- @/ivi-prism

- While most might assume that Grian would be a harpy, its actully Scar. He's incredibly flexable in Human form, hes able to manuver his foot behind his head, and moret than once has Cub walked in on Scar with a living fish in his mouth. He never questioned it because "Hey, Vex magics weird."

- Imagine- sytyr Zedaph and Fae Impulse walking in on Willowwisp Tango who,because willowwisps are typically tiny, shrunk in response to panic and is now stuck in a caldron. I think that be hilarious. Just the idea of impulse going-"YOUR A CRYPTID?" while Zed just "WAIT I KNEW I DIDNT BURN THOSE PAPERS!" Which leads into a discussion of ZIT internal sabotage, and suddenly ZIT invesigation changes direction from "Are cryptids real" to "Is anyone else a Cryptid cause this cannot be a Coincidence"

- @/crypticalwitch

- Cryptic AU: Tango can also control his hair, to an extent. He can slick it back, but it still looks like burning embers. It's a bit mesmerizing

- Cryptid AU: Cub was a normal guy, maybe with some weirder interests, before the Vex. "Playing" with their magic too much is what made him a cryptid. So maybe he understands that the other hermits aren't exactly "human". But it isn't his business, and it means they don't question what the Vex get him into, so he just doesn't say anything about it

- Cryptic AU: Team ZIT's strongest evidence for Grian is the fact he's a master with an elytra, especially since he first said he "might use it a little bit" for long journeys. He's flown into a dark hole in a dark wall that's barely big enough to fit him multiple times, with ease, among other risky stunts that would get other hermits killed. The fact there's not much else to go on, besides his pranking zeal only matched by Zed himself, drives them up the wall

- Cryptic AU: when you stay out too long at night, you might start to feel watched. You'll turn around and nobody is there, but still you feel eyes on your back, and the breeze always seems hot and brushes your neck like too-close breathing and a hand. Finally, you catch it: a familiar figure that stands too stiffly, always just too far away to name. Then it vanishes with an airy shriek, and phantoms descend from the stars. Bdubs did always say the worst things happen in the night.

- Cryptic AU: Impulse's smiles are just a little too big. If you look at one too long, you feel as though it's stretching wider and wider, the cheery shine in his eyes twisting into a hungry gleam, but then you blink and he's back to normal ol Impulse and you question if you really saw anything. That time you saw his smile glinting in the darkness just beyond your bed must've been a nightmare. Your imagination.

- Cryptic AU: Don't look into his eyes. Look in, and you will see the universes. Billions of stars, trillions of futures, all impossibly swirling together, hauntingly beautiful. You'll fall down, down, down through the glittering spirals, until with a breathtaking snap you're on your knees, on solid ground. You're lucky he doesn't want to keep you, like others might. The lives and worlds you glimpsed will echo through your mind, weave through your dreams. Do not fear. Do not look into his eyes.

- The mountain is his territory. If you enter it unbidden, he will ensure you leave, lucky to keep your life. His contraptions are nonsense, seeming to serve no purpose other than to confuse. They distract from how the air crackles on your skin, how it tastes of storms and thunder. They distract how, from the corner of your eye, Zedaph's limbs are too long, fingers with too many knuckles and legs with too many knees. All angles and bones, like his designs. Do not look too closely at his garden.

- Everyone learned not to ask about him. Mostly because in trying to form the question, you'll find the words slipping from your mind. So Tango's hair burns, his eyes are red cherries. In the darkness he glows, the embers of a forgotten fire. His skin is always hot, almost feverish, yet he isnt sick. If he gets too close to lava, the illusion fades, reveals the magma that forms his skin. Illusion? No, that was just a burn. He relishes the smoke and rubble of explosions. Control. Always controlled.

- xB doesn't mind being away from the other hermits. It's quiet there; far enough away that most aren't bothered to prank him. He doesn't like surprises. Surprises get people hurt. Gets his friends hurt. His guardians appreciate the still predictability. The calm. Yes, he prefers to sit back, quiet, and watch. If he looks too long, bad things happen. So he observes it all, never focusing too much on one detail, never letting them go unseen. It prevents surprises.

- Because that last one wasn't all that clear, xB is a guardian-based cryptid! While nothing seems inhuman about him at a glance, he has a close affinity to water, and when threatened the spines he hides with his clothes will stick out. (Guardians only spawn in water, but they actually don't suffocate in air! Though their desperate flopping is a sad sight to behold) Plus, laser-eyes

- Xisuma wasn't always able to change his form as easily or drastically as he can now. But by now, he's forgotten his own face. Now, he'll feel his skin, his body begin to itch with the need to change. He's glad the hermits don't seem to care when he does. Keralis's mimicry was a surprise, but a welcome one. He feels less alone. Loneliness is how he would lose himself. He's scared of that possibility.

- When he sleeps, he walks through the minds of those whose eyes met his, as if it were his own dream. He'll hear their thoughts as if they were his own. He doesn't like this. It feels like an invasion. He feels like a parasite, and maybe he is. Whoever he dreamed through last, they seem exhausted and jumpy after, while he feels energized, near invincible. It's through this ability he knows their deepest secrets, but they aren't his to tell. Sometimes, he wishes he could understand. (Xisuma pt 2)

- Cryptid AU: another reason that Grian cant possibly be a human is his clothes. Just. How does he have something for every occasion. He even has a janitor one? Why did he have that? This "man" doesn't own a single closet yet has at least 20 different costumes-- not to mention you blink and he's changed! Wh- he had a REAPER costume for himself AND SCAR???

- @/basaltdragon

- Cryptid AU: Grian used to be against cryptids because of Sam (YHS) and his bunny attributes, but has since accepted the fact Sam was just a bad apple, and cryptids as a whole are neutral/good.

- Your heart, it beats, like redstone ticking away within you. He knows redstone through and through... so why not you too? Every pulse sent though the machine of your body is one more reason for him to reverse engineer you. But he restrains, takes a step back, as these machines could never be put back together.

- He's been here since the beginning; not of Hermitcraft, but everything. Watching as the game evolved over the years... He smiles at the thought. His hair now matching his eyes - like harsh reflective snow - he recalls these memories fondly. As his eyes fade to their piercing blue, he sighs, for this is home.

- When any of the other Hermits (at least the ones with blood) get injured, Mumbo has to step away. The need for their blood, their lifeforce, is too overwhelming.

- @/12u3ie

- Cryptid AU: with the team ZIT headquarters I thought of something similar to the TEA headquarters from season 3. Probably more confusing, colourful and chock full of even more excessive redstone doors. Why not add another elevator? Where's the coffee machine? Maybe the next room over? Was that corridor there before? I don't know. What's the use of that room? What's behind that door? What's behind you?

- Cryptid AU: with the whole burning hair thing on Tango, another explanation for why no one questions it. That's just Hermitcraft, people just assume he either royally messed up a redstone machine, or succeeded completely, you never know with Tango. Or maybe they think they're sleep deprived. They haven't slept in a while, Bdubs has been reminding them to do so. What were they doing? Maybe they should go home instead. Whatever they were doing can probably be done later. What were they doing?

- @/the-royal-bat-snake

- If joe is a changing then he is some kind of fae folk or as the irish and the Scots call them "the good neighbours" he could like anything, from a human, a small man, like knee height or a small green impish or goblin esque creature. Also changlings were the very old fae folk, not just the babies (humma women were stolen to be nurse maids cus fae folk cant make milk, also stolen to be mistresses) I know a lot of irish faerie lore so if you want to know anymore

- @/whatschooldoesntteachyou

#hcraft #hermitcraftheadcanons #hermitcraft #hermitblr #mod shade #au raffle #cryptid au #hermitcraft server

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