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#i am LONGING too much this night
joons · 8 months
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i finally got to see reinventing elvis, and a detail that really broke my heart was how steve binder described the first time the special was screened for elvis. with the memphis mafia in the room, the room was quiet because elvis wasn't saying anything, and no one would respond until they knew what elvis' thoughts were. after the screening, elvis asked everyone to leave except him and steve, and he immediately relaxed and watched the whole thing again, enthusing to steve about everything they'd managed to achieve, laughing and cheering and clapping for the crew and himself. i--
one thing that draws me so much to elvis and his story is this idea of your identity becoming fractured, how you always have to see yourself through the eyes of an audience. for elvis, his first audiences during childhood were his bullies and his mother. for everyone else, he slipped under the radar, until music gave him the strength to be himself. that uncertainty and anxiety that came from revealing yourself to others never left him and became worse the more his music became the way to protect his mother and family from poverty forever. he had to choose between providing for others and expressing himself. and if a bully or a critic didn't have what it took to silence him, then his own need to protect and nurture others did. just knuckle down, make the bad movie, take care of everyone who depends on you. and as his fame grew, the audiences he needed to protect and please grew more numerous and varied; they were teenage girls and mini-rockers who thought he'd sold out in the army and distinguished vegas crowds and politicians and his friends who were also employees who were also snitching to the colonel. not only is it a panopticon existence, but there's nowhere to rest without gladys, no single person he can shelter his complete self inside. he would share his feelings only if he trusted that you wouldn't laugh or be cruel. and it was very difficult to keep track of what parts of him each audience liked, whether he was allowed to cry in front of these guys, whether they'd laugh at him for knowing classical music, whether his interests would bore someone to tears. he couldn't tell them how important this special was to him, how relieved and proud he was of it. because that relief and pride felt too fragile to be shared except with the person beside him that he knew felt it too. (binder talked about how miserably nervous he was because he was having his own doubts about whether what he'd made was any good at all.)
i wonder if that was part of why he loved giving other people his time. that one-on-one connection gave others HIS audience, a happy one, where he could reassure them and take pride in them and build them up in a way he very rarely got back. he did stuff like that all the time, praying with people, giving them advice, sharing private jokes, asking about their lives. it's like he was taking in all the criticism and all the love he might get from his own audiences and reflecting it back very gently on someone else, just the two of them, so they knew he was being sincere, hoping someone would bridge that connection with him, that they would realize they didn't have to "act" for him, so he could let his guard down too, even just for a moment. he didn't ask for much more, but he deserved that full feeling of safety and belonging.
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trobeds · 1 year
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i know the hunger games isnt about romance i know it isnt a love story but. theres just something so beautiful in the way peeta is the personification of what it means to heal and he /is/ the dandelion and the bread and the hope that things can be better even if they wont be fixed. even if the nightmares dont stop he will still hold her. wake her up and tell her shes alive. shes safe. and when its over and done and theres no more saving or protecting or trying their absolute hardest to die if it means keeping the other alive, the horrors dont stop. but katniss will still find that comfort in peetas arms.
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cerise-on-top · 3 months
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hi! how would Valeria and Kate react if their wife’s got hurt because of their work, both of them working highly jobs and it ended up catching up to their s/o. hoe you are doing well and drink plenty of water! thank you!
-🍒
Hello! Both of them would be absolutely distraught, but would go about it in different ways!
Valeria’s and Laswell’s Wife Gets Hurt Because of their Job
Valeria: Whoever hurt you will wind up tortured and eventually, once she thinks they’ve had enough of their miserable life, will wind up dead. Naturally, the first thing she does is check up on you, see if you’re alright and well, that’s her priority. You’re the love of her life, there’s no one else in this world she wants to see do well. You’ll be admitted to the best hospital nearby and will only get the finest treatment. Once you’re stabilized, that’s when the hunt begins. Whoever hurt you won’t get too far since that bastard’s life will be on the line. Regardless of where they might be hiding, Valeria will find them and show them that death is actually a kind of mercy. She has pretty much everything at her disposal, everything money can buy, this sucker won’t know what hit them. If it’s revenge they want, then revenge they’ll get. Valeria promises you that their head will be on a silver plate. She’s not very good with words when it comes to comforting someone, but she will have that person killed in the most cruel ways she can imagine. In fact, she’ll take the pleasure of torturing them upon herself. Once she’s done, she’ll take some days off, which is surprising since she usually can’t afford that at all. You’ll be under her direct care for those days. Anything you want you’ll get. Afterwards there will be a slight shift in her demeanor, Valeria becomes more protective over you. Sometimes she might even assign some trusted people of hers to watch over you since she can’t afford something like that happening again. While she can’t always take some days off, she’ll try to be closer to you anyway. Always texting you, finding excuses to come home for a day maybe. She just really needs to make sure you’re okay, she wouldn’t know what to do with herself if you died.
Laswell: Laswell will try to be a bit more diplomatic about it at first, trying to coax whoever hurt you out of hiding. This person will be held accountable for their crimes against her world. Naturally, she rescues you first, gets you to the nearest hospital and won’t leave your side until you’re stable again. If it takes you a while to wake up again, she’ll leave to find the fucker and make sure they swim with the fishes. She has a pretty large, efficient network and will find out who it was fairly easily. Once she knows who they are, she won’t hesitate to find out all their past crimes as well, if they hurt you then they must have done some other awful things as well. Once that phase is over, she’ll go to their home herself and have them arrested, put in the worst prison imaginable where the inmates are treated especially badly. She won’t kill them, but she wouldn’t be surprised if they wind up dead anyway. Laswell usually isn’t an evil person, but she does hope that person dies during their time. Their sentence will be as long as possible so there’s no chance of them ever seeing the sunlight again either. Once all of this is over, she, too, would take some days off to spend with you. You’re a priority above all else, so Laswell will want to be there for you, no matter the cost. While she usually isn’t, depending on how severely you got hurt she might become a bit overbearing, a bit overprotective. That overprotectiveness will last for a few months, afterwards she’ll try to give you some space again. However, she’ll always be keeping a closer eye on you, always texting or calling you every once in a while to make sure you’re okay. If she needs to, she’ll put you under her protection officially, but the situation needs to be dire for that to happen. Either way, she’ll be keeping you safe.
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ratwithhands · 2 months
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1 - Diantha security detail comic
2 + 3 - Emmet's UDF uniform vs Kalosian Guard uniform
4 - Lore/Background comic
Hooo boy ok so this idea has been simmering on the backburner for a while now. So Legends Z-A had its trailer released a few days back and I figured I'd make something around it. I know logically it's going to be a game set in the past but I found myself wanting to work on something more futuristic/sci-fi which is why we have our little Cyber Emmet here.
There's a lot of different things to mention so I'm just gonna break them down by the images.
1:
Diantha is attending a conference/ceremony where she will be discussing the plans for the urbanization of Kalos with the assistance of neighbouring tech giant and long time trade partner Unova. As a sign of goodwill, the Unovan Defense Force sent several people to either work as security or to help organize and prepare the ceremony. Among the list of people is Emmet, who was recently "working with" the UDF, and who is going to serve as Diantha's bodyguard for the event
Emmet's uniform was made by a mix of Unovan and Kalosian designers. It's meant to mimic the shapes while still keeping aspects of his Unovan uniform (mainly the collar, cuffs, and silver trim). He is carrying a handgun from his UDF uniform, however due to the public nature of the event, he is using his charge pistol instead of his wired pistol. He's also using a different face shield, using a silver one as opposed to his black one, since it better matches the uniform he's wearing for the event
Diantha's fur coat still has the angel wing shape. This isn't lore relevant I just couldn't fit the full thing onto the panel but it's definitely there
2 + 3:
Emmet uses a wired pistol (left side holster) and a charge pistol (right side holster). Both are standard issue firearms used by the UDF, however charge pistols are more common thanks to them being easy to hold and carry. A wired pistol connects to a battery pack of some kind to fire at a greater speed, whereas a charge pistol will generate its own power but take longer to fire and load. Emmet's wired pistol connects to the battery network that powers his body, allowing him to take advantage of his fast reflexes by using his faster weapon
Emmet doesn't get anything to wear for his Unovan uniform! Part of the contract he signed for his cybernetics states that he can't cover the prostheses unless it could lead to a breach in confidentiality (such as going to a foreign region or appearing in public outside of work reasons) since he's meant to effectively advertise the quality and construction of the body built for him. Of course he refuses to go outside completely naked to fight so the UDF got him a cropped version of his coat and shoes so he can have some more cover
The face shield is meant more for form than function. Technically the only purpose they serve is to cover his face when he's out on patrol, though it can also act as a screen to show him information about what he's seeing (kind of like an AR headset). He could technically get the screen function though cornea implants but he's not doing that + he wants the anonymity provided by the shield
Sections of the body can split open or be removed. The front abdominal panel can do both due to the different processing mechanisms inside needing easy access for repair/maintenance. Limbs can be swapped for different prostheses provided they have a compatible socket
The sockets in Emmet's back can be used to power other weapons/devices if he has a compatible cable. Emmet was given a bag of different attachments and cables to hook into his back so he can power a range of things from phones to laser rifles
He has removable skin. Any shot of him with the black body is the body without skin. In situations where he could possibly have skin showing or he is required to wear something that shows more skin, he'll have material rolled over the sections of his body that will be visible so they look more normal
4:
Emmet got run over by a train ♥ long story short is that he went to rescue a passenger who had fallen off the platform and miscalculated how much time he had before the train pulled in. Once he got stabilized in the hospital afterwards, he only has around 30% of his original body intact, along with some sections they were able to somewhat repair but required new hardware being installed in order to return their function. Anything under the waist and a large portion of his arms were crushed beyond repair and as such, he's been connected to different machine to mimic the functions of his organs
The UDF (in a rather scummy play) contacted Emmet for business, asking him to sign a contract that would ensure he would live by letting them test their confidential new tech on him. He is the only ethical candidate they have for testing such prostheses so to get him to agree, they offer to cover the cost of everything relating to his health and work, as well as paying him a salary for the trouble. Since the only other options are "die slowly" or "lose all self sufficiency and go bankrupt living in hospital", he agrees, and so begins his second job as a living experiment and tool for the UDF
I think that's the most I've written for one post yikes. This isn't even everything but I'll cut it here because my hands are not pleased with me typing.
I still have a lot to think about for this concept, mostly what kind of work Emmet will do while overseas in Kalos and whether something dangerous enough will happen to warrant him using his body for what it was made for. That might be funny, only two settings and they're "I love macarons :)" and bloodshed.
Anyways hope you guys enjoyed this dump, feel free to ask on anything (it helps me write too ^^). See you later and have a nice day!
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mydetheturk · 5 months
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your requested reminder to post knives going nuclear on zazie when you can :)
ok so im going to be reblogging this to the body horrors week later cause. uh. well. knives. quite literally goes nuclear?
all of these screenshots are from the overhaul project cause i haven't managed to catch the dark horse digital editions on sale yet, though i'll provide the dark horse translations where i can because i have physical copies, and the dark horse translations are imo clearer here.
there are ids in all the alt texts for the photos, it's why this took several days longer than i'd originally planned -finger guns- alt texts might look a little weird in the first set btw - tumblr started eating the photoset and i had to spend an extra half an hour fixing it -finger guns-
the pages are volume 11, pages 90-92, and 114-17, because a lot of the pages in between are leadup pages and also have the zazie control worm. thing.
pages 90-2 are the distant explosion (you can click on the first image and see it in the photo viewer, if for some reason it will not view in dashboard mode. But it does exist!)
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(on page 90, dark horse is a lot more specific, with "the northeast sky is glowing" instead of "the whole sky is glowing". the other two boxes with text read "what is--?!" and "oh my..!" respectfully as if they were cut off mid sentence.)
so uh.
knives went uh.
literal "nuclear bomb exploded just above a town"
because he kind of did. Unlike a true nuclear bomb, he did not form a mushroom cloud, but the metaphor is still there. that is a nuclear metaphor
per pages 114-117 (pages are from left to right, read the pages right to left. sorry)
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(legato's speech bubbles on page 114 in the dark horse edition read: Survival of the fittest is the law of nature. What is about to happen now is a just a logical extension of that. Be very afraid. You are in his presence. Did you not notice, Leader of the Sand Worms?
It reads very differently, imo, more like Zazie was caught up in their own plots and schemes to realize the control worm didn't work. Legato is also telling Zazie that Zazie should be afraid of Knives. Okay? Not asking if Zazie is afraid. Telling Zazie to be afraid. Like some sort of reverse "Be Not Afraid" from the bible.
Zazie's thought bubbles on page 115 are translated as "the dark hole is swallowing the poison" which reads more like knives made a black hole. given the visuals? that sounds more likely. Black holes, as a real life thing that we know about and have tried to study, are often referred to as swallowing things that pass too close. knives made a mini black hole to eat the poison from the sand worm venom. knives has consumed the dependent plants.)
the fact is, as a metatextual read, plants are nuclear reactors. independent plants are walking nuclear bombs. Nightow did this on purpose. We're meant to read them as something nuclear.
This is, as i was saying to @needle-noggins the other night when i was working on it in an attempt to get more of the alt texts written, a casual display of power. Knives is throwing a hissy fit! Knives is throwing a multi-megaton display of power because Zazie tried to take him over with the control worm. Page 91 had needle-noggins and i speechless because on the low end that tower of debris from the explosion is (if we did the very, very rough math right) THIRTY MILES TALL. Twice as tall as the tallest mountain in the solar system, Olympus Mons! or roughly five and a half times as tall as Mount Everest. On the outside, because we figured its anywhere from 25-30 times taller than the cloud cover, it could be up to thirty seven miles
Over halfway to space on earth.
like.
I know we love the independent plants and all. But Holy Shit. just.
holy shit
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nothingbizzare · 1 year
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My entry for @sboopie 's DTIYS
GOSH I NEEDED WITH ALL MY SOUL TO FINISH THIS BEFORE NEW YEAR SOO SOO SORRY I HAD A HARD TIME FIGURING A GOOD POSE BUT THEY ARE IN LOVE UR HONOR
An different version +the first version of the art under the cut
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espighty · 5 months
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I love this panel from the Halloween Special comic because you can just look at Espio and Vector and you can 100% tell they're thinking "oh my god. Maybe we aren't such horrible parents after all." (Not that I think they are even remotely horrible but I do think it must be an occasional insecurity for them.)
I want you all to understand the gravity of a six year old WILLINGLY missing trick-or-treat, knowing damn well he isn't gonna get another chance at free candy (FULL SIZE BARS) for another year. 1 year is like 5 years for a kid his age. And he quoted their motto while doing it. I know Vector and Espio must have been so proud.
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baroqueghoul · 2 months
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“ when you close your eyes and you go to sleep and it’s down to the sound of a heartbeat… ” 🎶🎸
I made this Bonnie plush at the same time I made my Springbonnie plush, but I’ve only just realised that I never posted him. So here he is, forever one of my fave fnaf characters !! 🎸
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kinaesthetiqueer · 3 months
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Weiss is looking very very respectfully...
i had one more variation to finish; now i'm done with this meme! also nora now has 300% more freckles! because i can. :D
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syncopatedid · 9 months
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The way Suguru keeps poking at his forehead just before he turned to the dark side is significant far as religious themes in jjk go, as it's where the "third eye" (associated with spiritual enlightenment and religious visions) is usually depicted to be. His "third eye" was awakened and he was finally able to see the truth and light at the end of his tunnel, a way out of his endless struggle. And having attained that enlightenment, leaves mankind to burn while he seeks to get closer to god by becoming one himself.
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smokbeast · 5 months
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ghmgGMH 2 AM AND STILL ALIVE
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cerise-on-top · 2 months
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Nikolai with a s/o who always has a hand on his chest? With consent ofc, and it’s always to feel his heartbeat. I think of this all the time and it’s always super cute in my head.
Hello! That is pretty cute!
Nikolai Always with Reader’s Hand on His Chest
Nikolai is a pretty laid back and chill sort of man, so he usually doesn’t mind you putting your hand over his heart. Maybe not while you’re walking, though, he doesn’t want you to trip. It’s very sweet to him: You wanna make sure that he’s alive? That he’s still with you? That his heart is still beating? Trust me, not even death could take him away from you. He’d dig his way out of his grave after killing the reaper with his bare hands himself. You can always put your hand over his chest while you’re at home together, though. It’s nice to feel you. After a while it would be reassuring to him as well, feeling that you’re there, that you’re with him. He thinks it’s sweet that you always want to be touching him, because if it was up to you he’d do the same thing with you. After some time, once he’s realized that you’re always touching him whenever you can, he tries to get into positions that facilitate you touching him a bit. Usually lies on his back when you’re cuddling so you have full access to him. Can and will fall asleep like that, but will also want to hold you back. Will also put his hand over your heart as well so he can “get back at you”. In reality, feeling your heartbeat is also just nice and reassuring to him. However, he sometimes might lie on your chest in order to hear it as well, something like it lulls him to sleep, after all. You can put your hand over his chest in public as well, though, he doesn’t particularly mind cuddling in public either. There’s a good chance you’ll be nicely clothed, though, so you won’t feel his heartbeat unless you slip your hand under his clothes. You can do that, he doesn’t care about strangers staring in public. However, once it’s time to continue walking around, release him. You can continue your antics once you’ve found another nice bench to sit on.
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cornedbread · 4 months
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i wonder if you please have me suggestions on what the bbau teachers should be what kind of youkai, if possible. i'm on art block😅
(p.s. i'm still learning japanese folklore btw)
I have a couple ideas! Hope they help you ^_^
〔Short Answer〕
Gonzalo & Faklex - Yurei (幽霊)
Faklex - Amanojoku (天邪鬼)
Viktor - Oni (���)
Tiara & Billy - Hannya
Billy’s Son - Chopiraku (チョウピラコ)
〔Long Answer〕
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Yurei (幽霊) is a sub-type of yokai that are ghosts with unfinished business. All humans have a spirit, otherwise known as reikon, if given a proper funeral the reikon will join its’ ancestors in the afterlife. The ascended reikon will also protect its’ living family and the future generations. However if instead they are killed suddenly or hold ill feelings, the reikon will turn into a yurei and they will haunt the living until their unfinished deed or ill feelings are resolved. The more suffering a human experiences, the more powerful they will be as a Yurei.
There is a sub-type of Yurei that died at sea called “Funayurei (船幽霊).” They died at sea and they will forever haunt the sea. Funayurei have a unique fish-like appearance, basically mermaids. As their name says, “Boat Spirit,” they haunt the seas and cannot leave the seas. They fill boats with water to shipwreck and kill the passengers.
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I think Gonzalo fits for this sub-type since he died at sea abruptly and probably with strong ill feelings since this was during the war. It’s also quite tragically fitting, the imagery of a reikon protecting its’ family being paralleled with a soldier protecting his country. But because of his ill feelings, this protection was more violent than defensive.
There is another sub-type of yurei that dies on land called, “Jibakurei (地縛霊).” As the name suggest “Earth-bound Spirits,” these are spirits that died abrupt deaths on land. They don’t have a unique appearance and could just be undead versions of the living person. They do not serve a specific purpose, only tied to a location or event.
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The way Realex’s body is treated in the school by Faklex already makes it feel like he’s haunting the place~ Hidden away in a secret room with no door, and if Olivia finds she’ll receive a knife that she can use to, supposedly, kill Faklex or herself. Taking out the living the same way you died? Sounds similar to the Funayurei~ But that is pure coincindence, the Jibakurei is simply there to serve as a reminder of a tragedy. And Alex does that just fine, his corpse forever stuck in a cruel immortalisation of his suicide.
Speaking of Alex, what about our beloathed Faklex? Next is the Amanojaku (天邪鬼)! Amanojaku is a demon that encourages humans to do evil deeds. One infamous story is when Melon Princess was killed and then skinned by an Amanojaku. After eating her corpse, the Amanojaku was seen wearing her skin and impersonating her.
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Sound familiar?~ I have a headcanon that the way Faklex steals bodies is by driving his victims to suicide, it would explain Alex’s death and the secret Olivia ending — or suicides are easy food, no need to kill if they’re already dead. Even though Amanojaku’s are focused on persuading people to commit sin, the Melon Princess story was too good to pass up. And besides, Alex is doing a great job being a bad influence on Scrina, Asmodena and Candice/Candy, forcing them to clean up and commit his murders.
Oni (鬼) are aggressive cannibal demons. They live in caves and disguise themselves as humans, they kill and eat them. They have a unique way of eating humans in one bite. Nowadays though they can be domesticated by being given offerings, in return they guard homes from intruders. They also give good fortune and wealth. The Oni mask is used to scare away disobedient children or discpline kids into becoming obedient.
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The duality of an aggressive killer of human and a dilligent defender of humans reminded me of Viktor :) there is also a trope of modern Oni being troublesome and comedic, which is fitting for his cursed vr normal personality. When he is cursed he uses his human teacher disguise to befriend Angell, then hunts her down for even small mistakes. But when he’s normal he’s a jokester, but is very serious with making sure Angell survives and is able to escape or fix Infinity School.
Another member from the Infinity School is Tiara! Hannya (般若) is a sub-type of Oni. This demon was a human who was hurt deeply by her lover. Driven mad by her jealousy and pain, her spirit left her while she was alive and she turned into a demon. She now plays her revenge by targetting cruel men. Hannya mask represents destructive passion, in the shadows it either looks like it’s ugly crying or snarling angrily. Similar to Oni, the modern Hannya is much kinder. She brings protection and either good fortune or revenge.
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I think Tiara would be the sub-sub-type Hanya Chunari (般若中成), this is the most powerful Hannya. Her body is still human but her face is fully transformed with a demon, with large horns. But she is not full-transformed, so it’s possible to save her with Buddhist prayers. This sub-sub-type allows Tiara to keep her opera mask and have her shadowey tarwill body be refrenced in the Hannya Chunari’s strong dark magic.
The fully-transformed sub-sub-type is Hanyang Honnari (般若本成)/Kiyo Hime (清姫), which is similar to Chunari exceot the body is now a serpent/dragon. She is found lurking manily in the ocean, unlike her other Hanya sub-sub-types. Since Honnari is fully-transformed there’s no hope of saving her, she is permanently a demon. There is a story where a monk manipulates a lady using her love for him, then makes a false promise that he will return home after a boating trip. When the lady found out he was lying the whole time, she was heartbroken and chased him to the docks. The monk left on a boat but the lady swam through the ocean, eventually emerging out the water as a Kiyo Hime and killing him.
There are two reasons I think Billy fits this: 1.) It’s a parallel to his family dying in the ocean during the war; 2.) The Monk x Lady story parallels Bob never returning home from the expedition, abandonment issues; 3.) His girlfriend is a deadbeat wife and mom. This is headcanon since there’s no official reason why Billy’s girlfriend/old friend is missing or replaced by a robot, maybe she died in child birth or Billy killed her! Idk! — After his girlfriend left him to raise his son alone, Billy was filled with alot of grief. Grief strong enough for him to build a robot in her image. And maybe grief strong enough to corrupt him into a Hannya? His only tie left to humanity — or artificial humanity — now being his son… But even that is gone too because-
Chopiraku (チョウピラコ) is a sub-type of Zashiki Warashi (座敷童子). It is the spirit of a child who was given a lavish funeral and shrine filled with offerings and their favourite toys and candies. Because of this they are much more difficult to take care of than Zashiki, but unlike Zahiki they give blessing of good fortune and wealth.
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In BBEG:11YL we don’t see Billy’s Son again, I headcanon’d that it was because Son grew disillusioned with Billy’s obssesion of being “well-made” that he decided to leave and live his own life. But it’s also possible that perhaps Son died, which intensified Billy’s grief even more. And so all that remains is the spirit of a happy child stuck in the past, just like his father.
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clingylilhoneybee · 1 month
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I can’t tell if I need a forehead kiss and snuggles or to be pushed face down into the bed and my cunt relentlessly used
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astridthevalkyrie · 4 months
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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh
long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional
#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now#and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him#they're both going to the correct doctors#but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is#jokes that i'm faking it#i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself#which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't#but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was#so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time#and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space#i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me#i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems#i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY#the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS#i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind#and not awkward or mean#i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't#and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this#i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware#but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit#i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone#i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child#my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow#what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it
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scover-va · 7 months
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I need to know more about Michael's mom... Is she a cool mom?
SHE IS A VERY COOL MOM janet afton you will always be famous. to me
Im taking this as a chance to finally ramble abt her anyways so Janet's core inspo when designing her was to avoid 2 key things. Don't make her like Immortal & Th Restless's Clara (due to clara representing michael, not mrs afton, so i wanted to avoid that), and don't base her too heavily off of Ballora. I still have ties to Ballora's character (a music-based theme, blue-centric colour palette, im sure there were more basic ideas but everything else is more hc than themes to keep up) due to my hc thingy of each Funtime having ties to William's wife + kids, but yknow.
But yeah. Funky lady who played bass guitar + did backup vocals in a band during her high school and college years. Literally her and William dating can be summed up by "Seriously, what do you see in that guy?!" "He makes me laugh." bc she was and is WAY out of his goddamn league. Not just bc of the whole serial killer thing he was just an even bigger loser in college. Normal people dont develop a crush on a woman after she nearly breaks your nose and makes you bleed, William /j
But yeah uhh. I also dont like the idea of her being absent or neglectful purely because I got way too attached to her (i was originally gonna do that just to make things easy for myself but. Pretty lady,,, I am a very simple lesbian what can i say) so like. She obviously wasnt the greatest, most fantastic mom to ever exist given she was kinda maybe sorta well aware William was making some weird fucking clowns, but like. Hey. She tried. Also side note my reasoning for her being absent during the whole. Yknow. '83 event (and just evan's bday in general) is bc Evan + Elizabeth are twins and Elizabeth demanded a girls-only trip for her bday, and Janet promised Evan she'd do something just as special for him when she got back. That never happened bc he died lmao loser /j
But yeah uhh. Shes got a lot of regrets. Wishes she coulda done a lot of things better. Kinda dies with those regrets. Ive seen people say that one of fnaf's charms is that no character is 100% good and i LOVE that, and wanted to keep it up with Janet. Good mom and overall a good person, however made some bad decisions along the way and whatnot.
Im still working out specifics (ive been slowly working on a lil private fic abt her and william meeting + their early relationship) but uhhh. Minor notes that dont get their own paragraphs is that William sampled her voice for Ballora so yay easy voice claim, she had an on and off relationship with her band's lead singer (her name's Bev), her birth name is actually Janice Schmidt but if you call her Janice she'll knock at least 2 of ur teeth out, she's a runaway teen and got adopted by this older couple bc her home life kinda sucked (idk specifics yet), and also girlie has an extensive criminal record of minor angsty teen type charges. Also teen Mike dying his hair and then 2020's Michael's hairstyle are both kinda references to Janet's hair because he wnated to look less like his father. Thats all ty. No read more bc you WILL look at my mrs afton post, boy /j
Actually no theres more that im remembering as i write the tags and edit a few details. Back to her and William because god im insane about them. So for starters it. Well i was gonna say Janet was def the first to flirt but i think William definitely developed a crush first and they only kept talking bc of said crush so its kinda up for debate. Anyways yeah at first it was a HUGE sorta like "Well he's funny especially when I fluster him so this can be just a fun lil thing" but because they chatted more they def kinda like. Clicked more. William was a huge fan of listening to her music (from. a distance. he looked kinda like a creep but at least janet only misinterpreted it once) but like *specifically* janet he didnt give a fucking shit abt the rest of the band. Uhh. They had their first run-in and janet kinda. Well. Punched him in the nose before he cleared up that he is NOT a pervert or anything weird like that (bc a guy that looks older than he is staring from a distance when there is a clear crowd he could join kinda gave janet the Wrong idea), then they later bumped into each other in the hall and chatted for a bit, then they kinda just kept "accidentally" running into one another. Uhhh. Some cigaerette-themed flirting and a house party later, yay dating :] can you tell where the current cut-off of the fic is /j Also idk how to put this down properly but they are both runaways and can kinda. Get that vibe from one another. Literally Michael is like some fucked up abomination of the both of them between the troubled past + weird situationship thing + runaway stuff + a lot of minor details that arent important rn. I just. Yeah Janet means the world to me go thru her tag on my blog for some art. Not all of my janet art is posted but the non-posted stuff is all concept work/doodles or just. Shit im too embarrassed to post lmao. Anyways NOW im done ty for reading
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