river beasties :)

updated Sleight ref!!

@fenglianweek day 6: memories/growing up

the best thing thats ever been mine

a pet headcanon of mine is that after they're done with the sigil removal, emira expands her horizons and starts studying the psychological side of healing, pulling in some resources from the human realm and combining it with boiling isles methods (i imagine the field of psychology in the boiling isles, while existent, was often pushed aside as just a lesser branch of the healing coven back when belos was in charge. i do imagine there's often magic like the memory tweezers involved)

and i imagine she ends up focusing in on like, art therapy and self-expression, because she knows how important that can be, after having her individuality stifled so hard when she was young

a quite simple outfit, trying to use the little blue and white apron thing (which is actually a dress I think, that I just leave un-buttoned in the back and added an apron-like tie to lol)

[video description: a gintama takagin+shouyou amv set to the last half of "punching bag" by the front bottoms, using only scenes and flashbacks from their carnal shoass fight]

unconscionable violence as mutual informed consent therapy

I think about this artwork of Christopher doing a spooky smile and the fact that the boss theme from The Adventure is called “Kill! Kill! Kill!” sometimes. I know his games don’t really give him a whole lot of characterization, but man I’m taking this as a character trait now lol. Serious, wholesome Mr. Dad Belmont himself can be a little sadistic if he wants to, like his job as a vampire hunter a little too much maybe—

Belmonts are allowed to be a little scary sometimes I think :3

heres a quick Philby sketch !! just pretend all their clothes are rainbow coloured 🌈 :]

HOLY SHIT KIM IS DEAD???!?!?!?!?!?

(ooc: the following was drafted a week or so ago, maybe, and has been slightly tweaked to reflect blog canon! It has also been cut in half, for the purpose of receiving audience interaction/response :3c I am taking some liberties here. Enjoy, and thank you for giving me a funny ask to reply to with it!)

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Kim comes into existence again with a whimper, at first simply ashamed by her demise, with a linger ache- but the sound rapidly progresses to a pained shriek, a response to the state she was entering the world in- lines of code flashing wildly and flying by as they attempted to snap themselves into shape, giving her form. It was a painful, messy thing- and not something she'd experienced before, to know if something was amiss. When the code settles, she stumbles forward while clutching her sides, gasping for breath as she tries to orient herself. She fumbles around, gripping at her chest and her hair- no holes, no burns....

Did I... Did I just die? The question echoes out around her, despite having thought it- it makes her jump, a little, looking around wildly with a spin. All that surrounds her is nothing- nothing presented as dark void and a small circle of white beneath her feet, which moved along with her. Kim tries her best not to freak out, but she knows her face must be a sight, tears already coming to the corners of her eyes.

No. No, no, no! I can't- things were going so well for once, and I just- FUCK!

Kim falls to her knees, punching at the "ground" as she grits her teeth.

How the FUCK did I let this happen?! No goddamn snacks on hand- FUCK! You're such a FUCKING IDIOT, Kimberly!

Angry tears start to stream down her face as she continues her punching, vision blurring rather quickly. She doesn't stop until her arms are tired and the sides of her hands are throbbing and red, shakey as she painfully uncurls her fingers.

... God, what are they all gonna think of me? What's Ramona gonna think of me? I couldn't even get passed the first one...

Her breath hitches with the familiar hiccup of a sob wanting to start, and Kim slams a hand over her mouth as she clenches her eyes tight, trying to calm herself. It takes several minutes before she can rise to her feet, a little unsteady, but the tears keep coming even after she's wiped them away a good three or four times. She supposes its a reasonable reaction to her own demise, so she stops trying to get rid of them, grimacing as they drip down her face.

She turns, expecting to see nothing, but ends up surprised- before her, hovering in massive text up above, reads: GAME OVER! She blinks at it for a moment, confused, as it does a sort of fading blink, then begins scaling down, until each letter is maybe the size of her head. The letters pulse gently before the exclamation point fades out, and below the text, two boxes fade in instead. To the left the box is labeled "RESTART," and to the right, "LOAD SAVE."

It's too kind of you to say you can help but there's no one around who can save me from myself

human contradiction

a symbolic piece of jet set radio art that is so mired in headcanon/au stuff that the symbolism has no basis in canon and its halfway to nonsense. this is a picture of Beat

i actually had this art sitting around in my files for like half a year because i felt, like, Embarrassed to post this. but life is too short not to embrace the ouroboros of hypfix bullshit and i also want it out of my to post folder

bwaah

i dont even remember why i drew a bwaah of the Purely Metaphorical Cabbit Beat. whatever. bwaah

song is ruler of everything by tally hall

more on the au below

this is an au based on n's beta design and Kinda following manga canon. he's more cold and callous in this than in canon though, having been mistreated even worse by ghetsis (the face scars and hidden left eye.. ). he enters his battle against hilbert secretly armed with ghetsis's hydreigon.

hilbert forfeits midway through the pokemon battle in this, not wanting to participate in n's needless fighting. when he can't talk n down from the battle, the elite four and alder show up to stop him. all of their pokemon combined, especially after hilbert already helped deplete zekrom's hp, is more than enough to defeat zekrom and corner n.

in a panic, n releases ghetsis's hydreigon to fight, but it's basically a feral pokemon. it sees n's passing resemblance to his "father"- and it turns on n immediately to attack him.

and despite everything, alder steps in and takes the blow to protect him.

went back to the sketchbooks around when i was going through yyh for the first time in 2019 and found a pile of near-yearly sticky note updates about my relationship with the series next to my first yyh doodles, a page full of kuwabaras. thought it'd be fun to share

+ more thoughts and old yyh art below

(it's crazy i didn't find any kurama-centric pages for months bc i think he's the one i doodled in the margins of class notes and stuff the most. his hair's pwetty and he gives me the least trouble outta any of the main 4)

something i noticed while skimming the two sketchbooks i took these from was how mean i was to myself at the time about my art. i guess it hit me more because i don't really spend hours going through my old sketchbooks over and over to track my progress and growth like i used to quite often. i guess it was only a little after when my self esteem was lowest (8th grade, tale as old as time), but... idk. i knew back then that i'd grown a lot in the few years since i started drawing more seriously (that's why i looked through my art so much), but like... i guess that never translated into being nice to myself about it. i ended up going back through about ten more sketchbooks to find more yyh art, and in the coming years i'm glad to say that negativity in the margins went away. hell yeah

but even so, my love for yyh was a constant and effusive thing, as it is now. it's probably the oldest of my current media interests. i watched myself get into rgg and develop my ocs and watched others fade in and out, watched my style loop back on itself and go all over the place, passed by pages of writing about crushes and album releases and gender discoveries and my grandparents dying, all surrounded by little drawings of the characters i love. including kuwabara in a maid dress right next to my dead grandma grief rambling that one time (no i'm not kidding. my grandma died in like late 2020 and the page where i poured my heart out after finding out she was gone just trying to process everything had one with catboy maid dress kuwabara directly opposite it, who i'd drawn like the evening before she died in her sleep. he killed my grandma from like 100 miles away he was that powerful. that wasn't even the last time i drew him like that and i don't even care about catboys or maid dresses much. i think it was just a bigger meme and he was the guy i most associated with cats. i put that man in a situation and he fucking got her because the book couldn't contain him. some victor frankenstein shit. anyway)

i took about 150 pictures, most with multiple sketches. i decided not to add any more though bc 1) i posted some of them on old accounts but i don't remember which ones, and tbh i value my anonymity a little too much 2) All Of The Pictures Turned Out Bad in ways i don't feel like getting into but just trust me it's like 6 layers of fucked up illegible image bullshit 3) i found it hard to narrow it down to things i felt were indicative of the development or interesting or anything like that. idk. i figured it was an interesting exercise for me and it probably wouldn't really mean anything to anyone else. and that's ok :) it was nice anyway. i mostly mention it to be like Oh My God i've drawn these guys a lot and i STILL don't know what i'm doing... :| it's fun

however i did transcribe the notes i left:

7/9/19: yo it's been less than a week & i'm on ep. 80 wtf i love this show

8/14/20: 1/2way thru my 3rd watch (first dub, first [with older sibling]) & honestly still love it & kuwabara being the first one i drew makes me happy

7/28/21: i'm watching it w/ [younger sibling] now! 4th(ish) watch, 2nd time through the dub, which is so much better than the sub really elevates the text. we're at the semifinals of the DT, which means this is technically my 5th time through yyh up until that point but eh semantics anyway i still love & obsess over yyh! <3

1/14/24 (present day): hey, i'm rewatching yyh for the.. idk 5th or 6th time. still love it & never stopped. now i'm writing fic & drawing & posting about it. i have friends i talk to about it. [both siblings] have seen it. so much has changed, and so little, but it made me sad seeing how much i insulted my own art. i love you 2019 me. god knows you needed it

[+ this drawing]:

anyway. forever fornever. if you even care

some of my favorite wills that i’ve drawn in the past like 3 days<3

now that i’m back in school every single piece of paper that’s handed to me gets a will wood drawing it’s the law

Found a very cool pastel cat sweater at the bins but I have literally nothing that matches it well, so I always struggle to make outfits with it lol

ngl it bums me out how fast everyone hopped off masks not just for covid/communicable diseases but just the concept of revisiting personal safety equipment in general.

long post i guess

I've been taking a 5 week pottery workshop on wheel throwing (it's neat!) and we got up to glazing last week. When you glaze pots, the glaze starts as a a thick liquid and then dries really quick into a powdery form (on your clay piece). I was asking my instructor about clean up and she was like "oh you can just rub off the excess carefully, but try not to get dust in the air as it's a little toxic. obviously you're wearing a mask but the rest of us aren't"

(my partner and i wear masks b/c it's inside and that's just what we still do. it sucks but it's better than covid and also now inhaling dust/fumes)

I kinda wanted to respond "maybe we should all be wearing masks??" like if not for covid concerns, at least for the semi-toxic powder we're all just handling/some folks are breathing in O.O

(i didn't b/c tbh i'm still a little on edge with the going out/doing stuff in public thing/esp indoors and people misgender me/mispronounce my name constantly and honestly sometimes you just want to do ceramics and not fight with people. it also just didn't feel winnable)

I feel like there's so many things like that that people just disregard as a risk that don't need to be, but as a society (US at least), we just never wanted to have that conversation (it was at best, begrudging, at the height of government awareness of covid and now it's completely gone by the wayside). At this point people either respond negatively or aggressively to any suggestion of it.

But like we've all had that one art teacher/professor who was a little bit off b/c they'd just been inhaling toxic paint fumes their whole career and it was always written off as just a quirk/part of the job (maybe things are better now? new art students feel free to chime in) and not something that could have been mitigated.

idk, it just makes me sad that we never got to even have the conversation about how so many jobs/hobbies should use more personal safety equipment than they do (either b/c people feel inconvenienced by it or don't know).

(tangent but i remain appalled at how many people i see riding bikes/etc around here that don't wear helmets! it's fucking wild to me, like we had the "wear a helmet or your head will be shattered like an egg" demonstrations as early as elementary school in massachusetts. Like it's just silly not to, and yet so many people in cali are like "a helmet? i don't know her". Also adults will agree that children should, but they shouldnt?!? wear a helmet for biking/skating/etc is the hill i will die on, esp on pavement)