wanting to make a vent post but i'm so deeply ashamed of what i've been dealing with lately that it's hard to talk about even vaguely (all i'll say is that the cognitive dissonance of loving my body while also struggling with an ed + dysphoria is insane). anyway i'm trying my best to be kind to myself and remember that bad days don't mean i'm a failure and i'm not unfixable even though i keep falling back on comforting but ultimately self-destructive habits. i know i'll crawl out of the hole i'm in in time, i've done it before, but the last few weeks and days especially have been rough and i don't foresee it getting easier anytime soon for various reasons

speaking of your coming of age movie that never happens & your narrative non-narratives, shoutout to the arcs that’d be supposedly “worse” lmfao like posts about people-pleasers being like “i’m in my villain era” when it’s just consciously prioritizing themselves at all / noting when boundaries for their own wellbeing are being trampled, and the like. wherein i’m like, well i like talking to people i suppose, i can do the hours of monologue at a wall for one mode, got chatterbox mode, funny guy theatrical mode, etc, but in actuality also, i do not like talking to people lmao. the “yeah, that’s me” movie ending with another voiceover while upbeat music plays & you’re cheerfully walking along in 0.75x speed through some picturesque arena filled with socializing people like =) putting on headphones, turning up the volume, ignoring everyone, dodging people according to the berth one wants to maintain,

Hi! Love your work, could you write a dick Grayson fanfic abt him and a quiet female reader warming up to each other (set between season 1 and 2)?

yes, of course!!!! god, i've wanted to write for titans on here so bad i just didn't have the inspo so thank you<333

—

talk to him

titans dick grayson x fem!reader

sunmary: you weren't exactly much of a people person. especially since you were 1 of 2 adults living in a huge tower in san francisco, watching over 3 kids you don't really talk to outside of training. and the only other adult being closed off so who knows what'll happen when he decides to talk to you out of no where

cw: not much, there's just some fluff with a teaspoon of angst because of communication issues (they both suck at small talk and beyond)

a/n: idc what anyone says about this show, it's given me so much comfort and a lot of fun and likable characters. so i'm so glad i can write for them as long as you guys send requests for them. as well as other characters from other shows like yellowjackets and etc. also i love dick grayson, even though he can be a bit annoying in this show (that i can admit) but he's hot so ajsjfndmfmf. also, i'm sorry it took sooooo long, writers block got to me badly these past few months, so i apologize if it's cringey and awkward. but i do give the benefit the doubt here because this story is suppose to be like that (also the fact i'm projecting my "bad at small talk" trait here). two grown adults that can't seem to have a normal conversation, like at all

after the trigon incident you were dragged in by circumstance, you were the only other adult to volunteer to help dick with... whatever he was doing. you didn't have any life to go back to anyways, and you made a connection to everyone else so why part ways and it be unlikely to see them again. sure, you weren't particularly close with the kids, but, what are you supposed to do in order to bond with them? so that left dick in titans tower, but he wasn't as much of a talker as you outside of training.

everyday for the past few weeks have been, eat, train, sleep, repeat on a loop, no 'how was your day' questions, because the days are always the same so there wasn't any point of asking. and you could tell the kids were getting bored of it, very fast, and you could not blame them. being stuck in a repeating pattern with nothing else happening started getting old after the first couple weeks. so, you didn't really know how long it would take til something changed, it couldn't be like this forever.

during this time, you admired the grayson from afar, he was attractive, what else could you say? you weren't an idiot. and you also were aware of his previous entanglements with kory and you didn't wanna be involved in that. and, well... you felt like a teenage girl having a crush on a guy who was going through some shit, so it was better not to bother him.

and not being much of a talker doesn't make the conversation about feelings be any better. like, maybe this was attraction and nothing more? you were aware of the difference between liking someone physically and liking them emotionally (specifically in a romantic sense). but even as you admired him, you learn things about him, paying attention to the little things. deep down, he cared for other people, if he didn't, he wouldn't have taken rachel in and helped her, and he wouldn't have done the same for gar or jason either. people just have their own way of showing their love and care.

but your admiring wasn't exactly subtle. rachel had noticed it when you were looking at dick from across the room, talking with jason. the roth wasn't sugarcoating anything when it came to this, "you keep staring, you're probably gonna be capable of shooting lazers from your eyes." and you knew she was joking around but she caught you by surprise, making you face the young girl. "why is it any of your business?"

"because it's kind of sad seeing you pine for him like this." she points out, "and also, gar and jason made a bet whether or not you'd confess. we have eyes, you know?" and she lightly bumped your shoulder with hers with a smile on her face, "and i'm sure dick feels the same way, though he's not very good of showing it."

"that is ridiculous." you shake your head, "one, i don't like him. not like that. i just think he's cool."

"are you sure about that?" the roth rose her eyebrow, "talk to him." but you were not moving from where you were so rachel decided to take matters into her own hands, she then gave you a push (a literal one) towards him, and now you couldn't run away. all you could say was, "hey..."

"hey." he responded. jason just stood there awkwardly in between the two of you, "okay, well uh—" he pretends to look at a watch that's not even on his wrist, "look at the time, i must be going." and he had immediately ran out of there before dick tried to stop him. there was an silent pause and you were trying to figure out what to say, but before you could, he asks, "do you want some coffee?" all you did was nod. after that, there was even more silence, you two haven't had a conversation that wasn't training related in like, a while. it just felt like you were both strangers who didn't know each other nor were you fond of one another.

"you're just as bad at small talk as i am, huh?" you finally had spoken up. and dick just shook his head, "i don't know what you're talking about, i know how to make small talk."

"oh really?" you rose up your eyebrow, "okay mr. 'i know how to make small talk', what do you wanna talk about? and please, don't let it be training related. because if i have to hear you talk about that one more time, my head is gonna explode." you tried to look irritated, but he could notice a small smile on your face. then he immediately went into the 'deep, emotional' stuff, "you never told me why you came here. you just did, and i'm surprised you stuck around as long as you have."

you answered it anyway, because why not, "well, it's not like i have anywhere else to go." you set down your drink, making direct eye contact at him, "besides, the second i got here, and realized how big this place is and i have my own room... what, did you expect me to pass it up?" and you ended up making him laugh, which was surprising, "what is so funny, i'm just being honest." you were unsure why he was laughing, so you just took a sip of your coffee. he explained, "your honesty is refreshing, that's all."

"really?" and he nodded as a reply. you just sighed, taking your coffee and leaving. it's not like you had anything else to talk about and just sitting there would make it more awkward, so you just left. does it make it any less weird? absolutely not.

you guys didn't talk much after in the next few days, up until you decided to play hero on solo when you see a woman getting mugged by this guy in a mask. it was like one of the many movie cliches that you see brought into reality.

too bad it didn't turn out like expected, where you got shot in the leg. thankfully, the kids were able to track you down and bring you to the infirmary, gar was trying his best to patch you up and rachel was there for emotional support. as for jason... there wasn't much else he can do than just stand watch, up until dick had walked in with a worried expression, and the three teens immediately rushed out of there as soon as he walked in the room. you could've left if you wanted too but, obviously you couldn't.

"jesus fuck, you could've gotten yourself killed, what were you thinking?" all of his emotions were being let out in that moment, it was the most emotion you've seen him express towards you in like... ever. yet you couldn't help but be a bit sarcastic, "yeah, keep yelling... it's not like i'm literally a few feet away from you or whatever."

dick sat on the edge of the bed and started to explain, "sorry, it's just... when i heard what happened, i didn't know how to feel, or express it correctly." he gently set his hand on your injured leg, softly, "just if anything happened to you, i—"

"i'm tougher than you think, grayson." you reassured him, and you noticed a tiny smile creeping up on his face.

"i know it's just... i don't wanna lose anyone else."

you lean up a bit to set your hand on his shoulder, "i'm not going anywhere, dick." you then stopped for a second as you come to realize, "and we just had a conversation that didn't involve small talk. maybe i should get myself hurt more often." you were obviously joking at that last part, but dick's reaction to it was priceless, "i'm kidding. you are just... not what i expected."

"the feeling is mutual."

a part of you wanted to kiss him, that it felt right, but another part was saying how the timing of it all wasn't. and maybe these feelings you're having are actually real. because now, there was something in your heart that was growing that wasn't just admiration, and it felt weird, but a good weird.

maybe when the timing is right, they'll get to it, but until then, your growing friendship in the moment is enough for now.

could we get some facts abt jessies sister/their dynamic .. she is so cool i love her design

emily is older than jessie -- not by a lot, like 2 years, always just a little bit ahead of her. jessie's always felt overshadowed by emily and is a little resentful of this, but moreso deeply wants emily's approval. she wants emily to laugh at her jokes, she wants emily to think she's smart, she wants to win against emily when they play games and then get a pat on the back from her. i think it's a pretty standard youngest-eldest dynamic. emily sees jessie as another part of her life that makes her look better. how poorly jessie is doing can correlate a lot with how much effort she feels she has to put into keeping up her own appearances at a given time. she has an air of confidence by the reassurance that she's always going to be the better between the two of them in the same way jessie has an inferiority complex from the dynamic no matter how much power she has. prior to the story she's also taken care of jessie as their parents have become older and less physically able to keep up with doing so. she lives at home with them specifically to help her parents and jessie function -- still, this is moreso about taking care of jessie than of her parents, because jessie helps their parents a lot physically. that's a less charitable/more clinical way to describe their dynamic; a lot of the more complicated, unpleasant emotions are entirely subconscious. they are really close. you'll see jessie go to emily when she's feeling uncertain or being vulnerable than her parents a lot in the story, like with her powers and about starting to see this chick she likes. conversely, you'll not see much of emily opening up to jessie for emotional support because she does not see the both of them as equals. she's probably one of the most chill people about jessie's powers simply because she can't wrap her head around jessie surpassing her (in addition to feeling like someone important to jessie whom she wouldn't harm). she's also probably one of the most direct people about asking jessie for "wishes" or favors with the god powers lmfao. about emily herself outside of jessie, she's still a pretty chill person. at least part of it is from her dad, who is also very difficult to upset. she neglects some of her social life for the sake of family, but she's not really introverted. i'm still working on her profession specifically, i know she's in the same field as shiloh (tech) and 100% works on indie games (i don't think she's like, created one from the creative side beyond sparse input to a small team) to some degree. dunno if i would say this is her primary income by any means. she also participated in speedrunning communities primarily as a glitch hunter, but the hobby has been put on the backburner since she has more responsibilities. what can i say, she's a gamer girl............ she loves to figure out how to make things break and freak out, specifically. this can extend to other areas of her life as well. the dog in that one sketch comic, trouble, is also emily's dog. trouble died a couple years prior to the start of the comic, but is revived early in at the behest of emily, whose first attempt at trying to use the powers herself is trying to revive trouble. they're best buddies. their dynamic changes drastically once trouble can "talk" but i think emily handles it well (eg. when trouble says "now you sit" she laughs and sits) also, she IS trans. she started transitioning at the end of high school and by 32 she's had like every surgery known to man and is just chilling. she's also bisexual, which kind of grinds jessie's gears because it means she can't even be The Gay One in the family.

thanks for asking, i'm love answering questions about these creatures

Kaeya headcanons

i'm speedrunning this before work while my breakfast is cooking so BEAR WITH ME, i have SO MANY thoughts on my bbgrl

current list of h/c's: - ice skater kaeya, i will die on this hill. will have a post abt that one day b/c there's so much to it that i want to scream abt and Thoughts (tm) to be had (like him getting flustered??? OUGH i need to restrain myself) - speaking of flustered, he's really good at keeping his cool (pun fully intended, fight me) and he typically is the one who CAUSES the flustering. smooth af and KNOWS it - he likes to cause chaos and mayhem. a bit of a gremlin. mischievous man. perhaps a tad prankster in his bones. playful teasing bastard and has a lot of fun w/ it. - cold hands. nothing more. - when push comes to shove, Kaeya's the guy w/ the plan. like genuinely he's incredibly strategic and has the main plan, and like two or three back up plans. it's not even like an anxiety thing he just wants to be prepared, and he makes them up pretty last minute. - he's kind of an assassin-style character, y'know? not as much of a main fighter as he is a sneaky backstabber. roguish and charming but can and will yeet u type deal right??? - LOYAL to a GODDAMN FAULT. i TRULY believe this man's loyalty is unshakeable. like he'd do anything to the people he cherishes the most. and if he perceives u as a threat??? a threat to the things he cares about?????? ur on the list now and there's no escape. - incredibly perceptive! like he's really good at getting information from people already, but i feel like that just makes it a lot easier for him to notice when Something Is Up. it's hard to catch him unawares. - kaeya's great and i love him but he doesn't love himself and i'm sorry this man definitely feels like he's got really bad self esteem. Like he KNOWS he can get shit done, but he has a hard time believing that anyone likes him and probably has trust issues b/c of it. - i also feel like he doesn't like the spotlight? like specifically Kaeya; if he needs to put on a persona for the spotlight, it doesn't phase him bc he's good at hiding behind a persona. but the moment Actual Kaeya gets spotlight he's like a bit of a mess and nervous and would just rathe people enjoy themselves. essentially just doesn't want the spotlight. - abandonment issues. i don't need to explain this one. - kaeya puts on the air of an anti-hero but he's a quiet paragon himself. literally helps people out of habit and while he jokes abt it he doesn't actually expect anything in return and literally forgets he helped ppl bc it's just so engrained in his brain. - epitome of "sorry i had feelings, i'll replace em w/ jokes right away" - not the best cook tbh? like he can make some GOOD snacks (chicken mushroom skewers, a fried egg, simple stuff like that) but ask him to cook actual meals and he's at a loss for food prep and has no idea how to time everything in the dish. - emotionally available but only for other ppl. cannot and will not express his own emotions bc of aforementioned anxieties; but u wanna talk to him abt shit? he's all ears and will comfort u like a bbgrl. - this is less of a h/c but actually canon, and that's just that Kaeya's lonely. i genuinely think he wants to be around ppl but he feels like they wouldn't like the real him :(( - on that note, i WILL say that, despite his playfulness, this man is a romantic at heart??? like he probably LOVES poetry and writing and music, and the only reason he makes light of it is b/c he thinks it's funny and also to make people underestimate him. he would probably die for the opera performances in Fontaine tbh. OKAY,,, i've gotta hurry up and wrap this post bc i have work soon but please here thank u this is my bbgrl kaeya i love him so much. he has been in my main party since day one and like i'm beyond attached to this lil shit, like PLEASE HIS VOICELINES ARE SO GOOD. i will talk more abt my kaelumi h/c's and explain how things go in my "canon", b/c i'm trying to go in order of how all the poly met each other. WHICH means that Zhongli's next!!! b/c ofc i'm going to scream abt him, my friend's playing his archon quest and letting me watch it again and i'm taking so many notes its not even FUNNY.

don’t answer if ur not comfortable but how do u differentiate truly having a harmful paraphilia from intrusive thoughts abt it? im someone who has intrusive thoughts abt 2 out of the big 3 as well as other sexual things that can’t be done morally and i often stress that that means i am a paraphile (ik that’s a broad term but i don’t like specifying which ones yknow).

to my understanding, non offending big 3 paraphiles experience with their attraction seems similar to intrusive thoughts because they cause distress and such, so i guess im wondering abt where the distinction lies? i also find the psychological aspects of sex and sexuality interesting in their own right so beyond my own concern i’d be interested to learn cuz it’s just really fascinating

thanks dude!! :)

No worries at all anon! This is a HUGE SpIn of mine and I'm always happy to provide any perspective, even if I'm not a professional and all that.

The biggest distinguishing factor between an intrusive thought and a regular thought is if it's voluntary, and if the thought is welcomed or wanted. Intrusive thoughts are out of your control and often incite feelings of revulsion, disgust, discomfort, fear, anxiety, or rejection. They are thoughts that you want OUT of your brain as soon as possible. When you talk about paraphilias, the waters can muddy a little.

Paraphilias do not necessitate that the thoughts are unwanted. This may be true of paraphilic disorders, wherein the patient experiences clinically significant distress over their paraphilia (this doesn't necessarily refer to one of the big three!), but it's not inherent. A lot of paraphilic fantasy rejection can come from internalized shame due to outside social stigma and personal morality... but so can intrusive thoughts. There's no clear cut distinction between the two due to how much influence society has over our thoughts and how we respond to them, HOWEVER, you may want to consider looking into something like POCD.

POCD, while not an officially recognized diagnosis, is a subset of OCD that specifically centers around pedophilia. There exists also ZOCD (zoophilia OCD) and NOCD (necrophilia OCD), however POCD is by far the most well-researched out of these. POCD involves obsessive and/or compulsive behaviors regarding proving or disproving if one is a pedophile, such as through intentionally exposing themselves to distressing imagery on purpose or engaging with intrusive thoughts related to children. More often than not, people with POCD don't end up having any paraphilic attractions at all-- they are worried about the concept of being a pedophile and if they'll enact tangible harm, not grappling with actual attraction.

I've struggled with POCD for some time now, but I'm fairly confident in that I don't have any attraction to IRL children. The extent to which I'll engage with my thoughts is in fiction, and even then, it's more of a curiosity as opposed to something that's a consistent turn-on-- which is in direct contrast to my other paraphilias which are much stronger and carry with them less internalized shame, and more externalized fear over being harassed, abandoned, and/or doxxed. I don't experience fear over IF I'll offend, because I'm confident that I won't under my own circumstances. But this is something that can vary from person to person.

Some potentially helpful further reading:

r/OCD also may be potentially helpful! Plenty of people on there have talked about experiencing zoophilic, necrophilic, or pedophilic OCD. Just type one of those words into the search bar and you'll probably find someone who's going through the same thing.

FOR THE CHARACTER ASK THING!!!!! Im quite curious about your peter lucas thoughts, whats goin on with that old man?

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

PHEW THANK YOU I LOVE TALKING ABT THIS MAN. I'm gonna say. I definetly have a bit of a version of him in my head - it's been ages since I listened to MAG and he's kind of taken a life of his own. Also sorry i got so rambly here man i. Ill b real im lik3 right abt to fall asleep but i got exited abt him so here i go nevertheless..m

Sexuality Headcanon: HMM like. Bi. I dont think i can imagine him call himself that tho.

Gender Headcanon: old man. Like thats a part of his gender identity, being old.

A ship I have with said character: w MEEEE. My mag self insert. Lol. But yeah i am not that into the lonely eyes ship, just. Bc i do not care abt Elias all that much! I don't know many ships that include him otherwise. I haven't seen mary keay and plukas shipping but I'd love to. Idk. Awful vibes i think it could be great. Salesa maybe??? But I feel like its more like. Plukas likes looking at Salesa and Salesa kinda forgets hes even there sometimes.

A BROTP I have with said character: martin please. Please martin hang out w him tricking him into thinking ur getting more into the lonely but ur actually occupying his space and u are drifting away from the lonely TOGETHER. Also if u guys have heard the tim & plukas behind the scenes jokes abt cayacking and train documentaries. Yeah that too theyre """"buddies""""

A NOTP I have with said character: haven't come across anything that bothers me !

A random headcanon: i am really split on weather he barely eats or if he's like, a lowkey foodie. Idk why.

General Opinion over said character: For me I do view him as someone HURT by his loneliness, though in the show, if I recall right, he seems quite content? With his existance. Or says he is, and how he's drawn to it.

I will say- I partially mirror some of my own experiences of loneliness onto him. I was so afraid of opening up to people at one point that I convinced myself that I WANTED to be all alone. I used to want to move into a little cottage in the woods and cut off all contact to people. But it was a self destructive coping mechanism. At points a survival mechanism. Maybe canonically Peter Lukas is a reliable narrator?

I recall him talking about the warm glow coming from the windows of houses though, and the loneliness it made him feel- if i'm attributing this right. And i have a really hard time contributing that to anything but YEARNING. And reveling in yearning. I also have experience w that. Yearning is a DELIGHTFUL feeling.

So yeah I think I do find a lot of comfort in the version of Plukas I have in my head.

Honestly he's burrowed a little nest into my head abd become something beyond a little blorbo from my shows.

Like i have thought about marrying him as a performance art piece. But i dont think rustied featherpen would like that.

Anyways hes the hands. I reach out to the old hands with swelled joints and paper thin skin almost translucent yet the palest veins i ever did see like they'v been drained. Bro. He is the medival manuscript where the sun orbits the earth and that's his eyes and where they land on me. He is so far away and like honey 2 me bro

just wanted to say your posts about shaundi and johnny and boss are making me feel completely insane (in a good way) i'm about to throw myself off a bridge. i'm always thinking about how the saints were built from the ground up around johnny and boss and small-brain-wondering how the other saints felt about it, esp shaundi and pierce so thank you for essentially filling those holes for me :")

i also have to wonder what in the world made those 2 agree to be lieutenants in the first place - or what made the boss target themas lieuts?? correct me if i'm wrong but i mean it can't just be that boss did some sick car stunts and shaundi was like okay hell yeah lets do this thang... can it

thank you i enjoy thinking about this stuff very much, i feel like i didn't really start to get the nuances of these games' storytelling until recently so i am very Excited to write abt it

the 2011 Saints being built around Johnny and Boss really gets to the very core of it too, i was thinking about it when i made the Shaundi = Carlos parallel because there's a kind of hero worship situation going both extremes for each of them respectively. Carlos' veneration of the gang is based on impressions left by the original Saints when Boss was the "voice of Julius" - a mere weapon wielded by both Julius and player alike - rather than possessing a voice of their own. even though i don't think he ever truly becomes disillusioned with the Saints as a whole (he might be inexperienced but he absolutely does Get It) he has to suffer Boss at their absolute worst since the moment they first open their mouth, it's a very sobering "don't meet your heroes" kinda deal where he unfortunately didn't get to live long enough to actually really learn from it. but with Shaundi it's the opposite - she feels unsure and pretty fish outta water in the beginning, clearly not used to the kinda world Boss and Johnny (and Carlos) are steeped in, but she learns to appreciate the Saints as they are and not based on spook stories or legends or even self-serving half-truths told by a man who never was who he claimed to be. she pretty quickly starts to get it, she gets what being one of Boss' Saints is truly about, and she Gets It because unlike Carlos she actually got to experience Boss at their arguable best instead of their worst first-hand. it's too bad that even when these two characters feel like they were supposed to contrast and compliment each other they didn't really get to interact beyond that one fist bump during Three Kings' outro cutscene, the strict three arc split is both a blessing and a curse

anyways, Pierce and Shaundi actually basically got in the gang for the same reason Boss is able to put their faith in them despite all their reservations - Johnny's the one who picked them after he got to know them in prison. the game doesn't really delve into what kind of relationship Johnny and Pierce have but Shaundi talks about how she ran a pruno ring with Johnny in a bit of unused dialogue for Three Kings (Pierce has a similar expository line but he just talks himself up because of course lmao). it's why i think Shaundi always specifically really looked up to Johnny even though there's merely a whisper of dialogue maybepossibly hinting at it in sr2 (it is very overt in the later games so i think it was always intended despite all their continuity/characterization issues), and i think it's why Pierce gets away with clapping back at Johnny - like look at this dude

he was ready to go against the most dangerous man in Stilwater without hesitation - generic Saints say "no one's allowed to kill a Saint but Johnny" - and he's supposed to be the Smart One! they have to be more than just mere acquaintances working together out of necessity, because otherwise Pierce would be fuckin dead before the game really even begins (there's some stuff in the game that goes against this read, like Johnny's idle line talking about how Pierce reminds him of Dex which is just not true at all, but i feel like V just really didn't know what to do with this guy so they threw all kinda shit at the wall)

overall our view into this world and its people during sr2 is limited because Boss' pov is really limited in scope due to essentially being dead for five years (without even getting into the whole "Playa" thing). despite their "waking up" they're still that exact same gullible dumbass kid from 2006 - the now-not-so-mute motherfucker who's used to doing everything on their own - just saddled with a brand new steaming pile of trust issues AND with a whole new set of responsibilities they are extremely ill-equipped to handle. Julius broke Boss' already pretty piss fumed brain to an extent where even they themselves are capable of seeing the damage and especially in the beginning of the game a lot of their interactions with Shaundi and Pierce feel strained and surface level exactly because of this reason. as messed up as it is, Johnny - at that point being the only person Boss truly trusts and admires - essentially functions as their conduit for any semblance of normalcy (and he himself has been in prison for years too, just very functional all around). Boss might be the appointed leader but when you get down to it Johnny's the real glue that holds not only the entire gang together, but Boss as well. when Johnny is in the hospital and Pierce asks what will happen if he doesn't survive, "then we've got bigger problems" is honestly downplaying it - they all need Johnny, whether they realize it or not.

(Pierce dismissively shaking his head in response is so harsh too. he either really, really doesn't get it, or worse yet he gets it and simply sees no value in any of it. i like to think it's at least partly just him being completely fuckin clueless socially and kinda having tunnel vision when it comes to his ambitions, but when you look at his characterization in srtt... yikes if that's how he was always intended to go)

obligatory yuty for the ask!!! but also if you dont want to only talk abt yuty then Ummm fulbright:3 or both even if youre feeling fancy...

Send me a character and I’ll list:

I already got one for Yuty, but thank you! So Fulbright it is.

Favorite thing about them: His pure of heart, dumb of ass nature... idk! I just feel like his bombastic, friendly personality is so lovable. I was invested in him from the second I met him! He just leaves such an impact with his silly but earnest personality. I love how determined he is, how he's got these big emotions and how much he believes in Blackquill and isn't scared of him one bit even though everyone else is because he sees Blackquill's raw potential. Waaaa. It's nice. Least favorite thing about them: Beyond him tasing Blackquill, um. What they did to his character by having him get murdered off-screen before the game starts lol. I think the way they did the Phantom twist was incredibly lame and I've talked extensively about it before so I'll spare y'all and just link the posts where I've bitched about it instead. 1 | 2

I haven't thought about it in a while so my opinions may have changed a bit idk just read these KRKFNM Second post isn't mine but I did leave a fucking tag essay so there's that. I do plan on replaying Dual Destinies soon to see what I feel about the game after knowing everything I do now, though. Favorite line: idk if it's a favorite line exactly but my favorite moment with him is in Turnabout Academy where he pops out of the art room window and is like "oh it's y'all!! in justice we trust!!" and helps out Athena and Apollo while Athena excitedly greets him n Klav and Apollo are like ??? It's so cute. brOTP: Ummm him with Ema is pretty fun! I want all the detectives to be buddies, and I think that Ema would originally be so pissed off and annoyed by him, but come to appreciate his earnestness and kindness. I think once she cools off and becomes a proper forensic detective she'd mellow out and be much more open to befriending people she works with. I think they'd get along very well. I also like the headcanons where Bobby really looks up to Gumshoe, so I like their dynamic too.

I also think him and Yuty would be fun. I think Nahyuta would be annoyed by Fulbright at first like Ema, though. But Fulbright probably fills a similar environmental niche to Datz, so I think Nahyuta could deal with him eventually. I imagined this scenario (admittedly in a shippy sense-- I think Madhibright is a funny ship and kinda cute, but I don't actually ship it anymore, they're just pals) where they meet post-SOJ and thought it'd be fun. Here's that post I made. OTP: Blackbright, I guess! IDK, I don't ship as much for him as I used to, but this is still my number one. I LOVE their dynamic in DD, I love the possibilities of what a dynamic could be like post-DD had he lived, so on. They're definitely Together but it might be kind of an unlabeled grey area friendship gay thing too. I don't know KRKF but I like them a lot! It's fun. I think they're very cute. nOTP: I dunno. Who are they gonna ship him with if not Blackquill? The Phantom? I've seen cute stuff with the Phantom and him as buddies that I find interesting. I wouldn't call romantically shipping them a NOTP, it's just vaguely weird but I don't really care at all. So, none I guess. Random headcanon: He's from the South and has a Southern accent!!! I love giving characters I like Southern accents it's kind of a thing I do if I have an excuse to, lol. It's why like half the Tazmily villagers were written with accents during my Mother 3 fanfic days. I think it suits him, idk why. It's better than the goofy ass voice they gave him in DD 😭 Unpopular opinion: idk. I don't know what people think about him, aside from him being another character the AA subreddit will try to convince you just absolutely sucks. Aside from, like, I don't know, I think it's a bit off sometimes if AUs where Bobby lives that people try to put all the blame for shitty behavior towards Blackquill on the Phantom. I get why, but I think sometimes it's worth examining how his position of power could be harmful to Blackquill regardless of his pure intentions or whatever. He's a cop, after all.

I know some people are uncomfortable with the ethics of a ship with Blackquill while he's still in prison (which is why some folks will specifically only interpret Blackbright as a post-DD thing) but I'm also like. idk I think THAT'S worth examining too! By people smarter than me. I'm not doing it KRKF I just find their dynamics interesting, warts and all.

I get it, though. Sometimes you just don't wanna fucking get into it SDJN but yeah! Song I associate with them: Never Ever Getting Rid of Me from Waitress. Quintessential Blackbright song Favorite picture of them: This pose is my fave everrr it's adorable.

though I also like the one official art where he's crying looking at Blackquill. ok gay ass

Writing ask games are so fun!!

Dialogue or description? Why is the other one so hard?

I was JUST talking to a friend about this! Do you have a preference for narrative versus summary styles? Is either more challenging than the other?

Thank youuuu 🥰🥰🥰🙇🏼‍♀️ & 🤝I agree they are fun (+ maybe capable of shaking something loose 😅)

Although coming in hot with the hard question/s I see! 😅😄

Okay: dialogue vs description... I'm not sure I have a preference?! I like writing both, and I think both are challenging, especially to do well/succinctly.

And... ~it depends!! I find writing dialogue pretty fun generally, but if I'm writing Beth & rio speaking to each other my face gets grumpy & lots of stuff ends up crossed through bc I tend to violently dislike it when they speak (🤯🤯🤯) & also they're so taciturn, nonsensical, insane etc.

And description! I mean what even is that! Of settings, of ppl, of outfits, of how ppl are speaking (eg volume, pitch, facial expressions & movements etc)...? It's a huge topic to lump together as a preference no, and not to be that guy (just kidding! I love to be that guy!) there's no reason dialogue couldn't be descriptive eg 'what did the man look like?' '18ft tall with 7 feet and bright purple scales'.

So first of all: kinda false dichotomy maybe? But most of all: deffo false dichotomy, in that I think the really hard bit is knitting them together! Just back and forth dialogue btwn (espec only 2 characters, particularly of different genders so you can rely on pronouns as identification) isn't so hard, and neither is finding ways to describe whatever needs describing: and even if the latter doesn't come super naturally, I think if you can identify what needs more detail to bring it to life, that's a workable challenge. The heavvvvy difficulty is tying them together dynamically, & unforcedly!

~conversations (I'd say beyond only dialogue, bc there could be unspoken communication via say eye contact, body language, movement etc) can be a great way to pepper in descriptive texture (eg of the environment, the objects characters are interacting with, the characters & their physical responses) but it's a fine balancing act!

Typically when I'm reading a conversation, I want to know what the other person says next in response!! I don't always want a lot of superfluous detail abt where their fingers are dallying!! That can take the reader out of the rhythm of the dialogue! If there's a paragraph of motion and detailed description btwn each spoken line and/or relevant gesture, I might simply forget what the heck they're responding to by the time we get there!!

So I think ^structure & rhythm/pace (as well as what pov it's filtered through) become v important. If it's a "dialogue" scene btwn oh let's say 2 v taciturn annoying insane etc chars where actually only about 3 lines of speech are exchanged, having a lot of additional descriptive texture can help. If the responses are being eked out, then a lot of glaring & gesturing & looking away at other stuff indeed makes sense to be happening & makes sense that it would be noticed by the pov character. Whereas if it's a rapid fire screaming match, too much detail & motion can slow the scene down, be distracting for the reader & easily seem unrealistic for the pov character (eg why are they staring at the actions of each individual finger when it was established a moment ago they were glaring into another character's eyes? How are they taking in & enumerating micromovements when they're established to be apoplectic with rage & incapable of focus?).

I'm trying to type up a ragged paper first draft atm, and what I've been struck by for the dialogue + description sections is:

too many dialogue tags! In order to convey who is (still, sometimes) speaking + shove in some relevant description, there can end up being too much he says she says where it doesn't need to be specified, which can get clunky & repetitive, and inevitably slows scenes down

Too much/fussy visual detail -- description can be fun, but ultimately writing can never convey visuals the way TV/film/comics can. It's easy to fall into the trap of trying to make the reader 'see' the story, but again I think this runs the risk of slowing things down too much and also if everything is described in detail, it makes it difficult for the reader to pick up on what's important (but conversely, if only the important things are described, it can make it too obvious what's plot-critical)

Beth and rio are... There I guess? And... Wearing clothes maybe? And rhea is there!! Let me describe to you her entire outfit, including each pocket in vivid detail 😂 (the author might like one character more than the others and maybe she should just leave it like that cos she's right!!!!)

Sentences aren't that load-bearing!! You can't realllly just throw 24 commas into one and pray it makes sense, which can make knitting dialogue + description together more challenging, espec in terms of trying to keep sentence structure varied (eg not 12 in a row starting with a pronoun or name, or SVO generally)

I'm looking fwd to one day being at the editing stage to find solutions 😊 & I don't know if I'm cheating but I deffo vote for an idealised seamless combo as the really challenging bit!!

Which leads clumsily onto your second q, narrative vs summary styles, to which I'll start by saying (since it is the brand): false dichotomy...?

Firstly cos I'd probs term it ~scenic vs summary (given that I think summarisation IS still [or does still have? 🤔] narrative), but also bc they frequently operate in combination, and, as ever, ~it depends.

Dialogue (+ description) scenes are probs the perfect vehicle for the combo! In order to keep dialogue snappy & engaging, over realism, things like pauses or repetition are often culled from the genuine "spoken bits", and summarised eg 'he agreed & they organised the next meeting', 'he said her name again', 'she ummed & ahhed, until eventually admitting it'.

Additionally, I generally prefer summarised dialogue when characters are remembering something from the past, rather than them apparently having perfect recall of a conversation from ages ago. This also allows for them remembering in full detail one or two choice lines that were yelled @ them to stand out!!

Likewise, this switch is a device that can be employed to display information about the pov character/'s ~mood eg is there a full record of conversation with one character vs with others it's simply summarised? Or are their scenes with character/s when they're on good terms detailed vs ones where they're on the outs just staccato summaries? Or indeed vice-versa! What are they paying attention to, and what are they comfortable expressing even to themself?

Ppl talk about the difference btwn the two styles (& indeed showing vs telling) as if they're absolute, but I'm not sure I adhere to that. If you have a character who is v matter of fact (at least in some scenarios), their pov might come across as summarisation rather than scenic; if you have a character that doesn't want to engage with their interiority (at times anyway), scenes might veer twds the telling side. That's not necessarily bad!

Ultimately I think it depends on the type of story! Many will have both 'proper' scenes & summarisation, and I think they work particularly well in concert bc of the contrast! The latter is often used to convey the passing of time succinctly (although I think that can be done scenically too, eg with the length of them, or bg deets), and I'm a proponent of allowing things to be glossed over which arent super relevant bc the reader doesn't need to be bombarded with too much (as that makes it difficult to pick out what matters) & also cos otherwise it gets too bloody large (hell for author).

A seamless transition btwn the 2 styles (ie from general to specific) can be one of my fave narrative tricks to experience as a reader eg (à la 85% of dh Lawrence stories) 'he lived in a cottage, with a long lane behind it. Every day he took that route to work, climbing over the tall gate. The sun was shining, hot on his head & bright on the clover as he panted along', like oh OK we've arrived at the action in the middle of the establishing detail have we!!!! Conversely, it can be one of my most hated experiences to read (what! I contain multitudes 😂) eg a couple of proper scenes suddenly descending into summary with not even a line break between 🤯 (I suppose it comes down to whether it feels intentional, vs messy? 🤔)

& I think both have challenges! A story purely composed of 'real' scenes runs the risk of putting too much onus on the reader -- can you know that you've conveyed what you wanted accurately as the writer? And to whom? What implicit references could be clear universally? (is an audience of a different generation or region or experiences going to pick up on things the same way?) plus a bunch of similar scenes can become repetitive -- do you need to slog through each weekly meeting, or do you just want to display one or two, then establish that they keep going on? (repetition CAN be really powerful, bc if it's established then the breaking of that routine may be v striking, but you probs don't want eg the minutiae of several similar council meetings if they're not super plot relevant.)

But is summary too simplistic? Is stating things removing needed ambiguity? Are these things which could have been displayed elsewise and/or earlier?

I'm not sure I have a preference, and I'm not sure they can realllly be separated out (most proper snapshot scenes will have some degree of summarisation to them), and I think ~summarised storytelling gets a bit of a bad rap & is unfairly seen as juvenile where it can be such an effective way to move through time, can certainly be told v much via the pov character's lens, allows authors to skip over stuff which would bloat the story (or indeed paper over weaknesses) & can be so so effective in short stories.

Especially where the two are used in combination, I think it comes back to structure & pov for me. What's actually relevant to the story? What would the ~narrator bother to dwell on? How long do you want this monster to be?? What needs to be clear to the reader? If everything else is the other way, does diverting here feel weird or does the difference underline a change in mood/focus/whatever?

And ultimately: trying things out is the best! The more comfortable I've got/ten with being able to do different things, even if not to a very high level, the better I feel about the ability to utilise them as a tool!

Writing asks

Grumbling bc Normie Girlypop from work mentioned me on a Completely Unnecessary Congratulatory Email to all participants in a recent CorpoEvent she helped organise. She thanked / congratulated me on delivering a good result on the animated slideshow that they INEXPLICABLY had me do IN MS OFFICE POWER POINDT (???!?!??!?!?!). I don't think she has like Beef or meant anything by it tbh. Butttt the way she went abt it is like Nails On Chalkboard Cringe Lvl to me lol.

She fully went "congratulations on figuring it out even though YOU HAD NO IDEA!!" and i'm like.................

GIRL i had PLENTY OF IDEA!!! I KNOW how to make a basic ass slideshow animation lmao. It only ended up taking my whole week PLUS the entirety of my Saturday bc I was swamped beyond belief bc the one other designer at this thousand employee company was taking his first weeklong vacation in an aeon, and it coincided with the absolute busiest we've been the whole year, and that only happened bc aReA lEaDeRs could only be arsed to mention they wanted an animation two weeks before the hard deadline for it, even though the event had been in planning for MONTHS.

I could only use one of those weeks to put it together it bc the other one was completely taken up by ANOTHER heavy ass presentation that also **HAD TO** be done in powerpoint & not dedicated design software from the full adobe suite they pay out the ass for every year... (bc the engineers get upset if their sales materials are static pdfs instead of editable files :( bc they want to be able to mess with the designs directly sooooo bad, if they can't deform & misplace & generally fuck shit up to their heart's content before showing it to clients they get Big Mad)

IN ADDITION to those two presentations, I was constantly interrupted by nonsensical requests, like ppl saying they "only wanted me to send over the logo of a company we're collaborating with in vector format" so they could DO MY DESIGN WORK FOR ME, "just" substitute it somewhere..... ofc it turned out that they thought they could sub out the logo on a banner that was embedded as a flat jpg within a word document. Like I didn't even know where to begin to explain why they were wrong & it wasn't just a matter of sending over a couple vector file attachments lmao. And all this only happened bc the materials for THAT project that the senior designer left perfectly arranged and pristine were useless bc they gave him the wrong logo to work with due to miscommunication.

After dealing w/ that I had to try and refocus my attention onto the larger task at hand. But inevitable another Teams chat / email / Whatsapp message would drop 10mins later. I don't struggle so much with focusing as with Re-Focusing, interrupting a task then getting back right to where I left off is a fucking Obscure Arcane Art that I struggle with sosososomuch

...

like overall none of it was difficult bc I didn't know my shit. there were some things i hadn't done before but the technical aspects of it were easily googleable. it was difficult and frustrating and ate into time meant for me to rest bc the higher ups can't fuckin talk to each other lmao. AND she implied i didn't know my shit in an email addressed to those higher ups too. like... way to lowkey insult me as a professional and let irresponsible management off the hook in the same move lol.

i just. i'm really trying not to be petty or bitchy or whatever abt this but. i guess i just don't appreciate her praising the effort i put in as if it was me overcoming my own """ignorance""" or lack of experience or whatever... instead of me coming thru & taking on extra hours that i won't be directly compensated for, despite the absolute lack of effective communication at the company LMAO

For the choosing violence ask game, literally as many as you can for Star Wars

oh jesus ok

I've seen people talk about Satine who believe she was weak, that she betrayed what it means to be a Mandalorian, that she didn't deserve Obi-Wan, etc. While I don't idealistically with her views entirely, I sympathize with her point of view and I don't think she was at all weak. She was trying to do what she felt was best for her people based on her knowledge of history and the current political climate. Do what you have to, queen. Also, MACE WINDU. I'm sorry that the (stressed out, under immense pressure) leader of a massive order wasn't sweet as sunshine to the rule breaking Jedi master about the rule breaking kid he picked up who will grow up to be one of the world's most prolific war criminals and murders. I admit that I think the Jedi order had its faults but I am a Mace Windu stan 4ever

hey. hey. Look me in the eyes and tell me you think Rex bottoms. That man is a fucking Dom top who gets shit DONE. He has half of Torrent on their knees for him. The way he put his hand on Echo's chest? Shoots an eel in the eye and goes fucking "Call me sir?" He had them swooning I know it. His dick game is pristine. Side note but I feel like Bail Organa gets pegged on occasion (lovingly of course he and Breha are couple goals.

Uhhh. Hm. People who are generally mad abt Mando giving up the darksaber- I completely agree that it was right choice. For two seasons we all went "lol it's so funny how mando hates being the main character! He just wants to do side quests and raise his kid! Lol it's funny how he keeps being the most important person he hates it!" and then when Mando followed through on that character by giving up the darksaber people who got pissed "BUT HES THE MAIN CHARACTER". like tell me you don't understand the character without telling me that. Also people who Hate star wars but Keep Watching It and then come onto fandom side and insult it in every way - there's a difference between being critical of a thing (I am!) and just bringing the vibe down for everyone. Yes star wars and the fandom by extension have a lot of issues. Id also have to say the racist/homophobic/generally hateful takes. Also Reylos.

I've never actually blocked anyone!

I'm not on discord server lol

YOU KNOW. Like ok if you want to ship reylo FINE but don't come to me talking about how I'm misogynistic for not shipping it. I actually have taste thanks. I'm not the world's biggest fan of master/padawan ships - qui/obi or obikin - but at least those people are generally polite and I can just scroll past if I chose.

I don't know that this has happened? If anything hate for a character makes me more inclined to like them.

Gooooood where to begin. I am the only person who knows Obi-Wan and Luke Skywalker. When people reduce Luke down to "dumb, naive, sunshine boy" it makes me mad. Yes, that is a big part of his character, and may even be most of his character in ANH, but you don't get Luke unless you understand his more mature and dangerous side. Yes, Luke is generally the optimist to Leia's realism, but I believe that is a choice Luke makes. Remember, Luke grew up on Tatooine, so he can't be entirely innocent. Luke knew how to take care of business with Jabba. If you reduce him down to dumb sunshine I feel you take away from the character.

The sequels. The sequels. The sequels. They massacred and disrespected so many characters. God. They were so wrong. Beyond that, the split canon of Legends vs Disney. I actually really like so much of the old Legends canon I'm mad it's not real anymore.

The infighting, and as said above, people who just seem to hate Star Wars harshing the vibes for the rest of us. I'm not talking about things like acknowledging the bias and bigotry in both canon and fandom, because that's important, but people who just seem to hate every piece of media put out regardless of content. why are you here. In actual fanon proper, I'm going to be honest, mischaracterization. I understand everyone interprets things differently but sometimes I'm like. Did we watch the same thing here bestie bc he would not fucking say that.

fun fact the only thing i have filtered on tumblr is overwatch. I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT I DON'T CARE

Oh easy Saw Gerrera. I understand why people don't like him - he's hard to watch - but I think he's an amazing example of the kind of leftist infighting we see in our politicial climate today. He's not my favorite character or anything, but I do look forward to it when he's on my screen.

Kylie Ron. Enough said.

Ok this is a weird one but in all the prequel/clone wars fics I read, why does everyone assume Jedi, especially Obi-Wan, have an aversion to seeing a medic?? Did I miss something? Like if it was established in canon at some point let me know bc why?? The medics are always chasing down the Jedi and threatening them until they come in to get healed...like why wouldn't they go anyway? What's up man?

well fanart is varied. I guess a lot of characters overshadowing one another.

I mean this in the nicest way possible: I don't really understand why people like Obikin. I completely agree that these men are Not Normal about each other, and they have a New Type of Relationship but...Obi-Wan has been raising Anakin since he was nine. It's not even the age gap, just...I don't get it. No shade or shame but like. Not for me. They can be strange about each other in a different way for me.

FUCK ME I LOVE A FIXIT. LOVE A TIME TRAVEL BETWEEN OT AND PT. LETS THROW CHARACTERS INTO SITUATIONS I LOVE IT. I've particularly been thinking abt Darth Vader interacting with Dooku. Idk but I think it'd be fun. ALSO I LOVE FICS EXPLORING THE VARIOUS CULTURES OF STAR WARS. Star Wars has million worlds for you to make up shit about and I love them all. YES TELL ME ABOUT JEDI HOLIDAYS OR TWI'LEK RELIGIOUS BELIEFS. Shoutout to @fialleril and their amazing series abt Darth Vader being a double agent, which really set the standard and created content that people still use today about Tatooinian Slave Culture.

CAN WE HEAR A LITTLE COMMOTION FOR REVA SEVANDER? ok so we didn't really SLEEP on her but now that Kenobi is over I dont see much stuff about her :( I love her she was amazing. Also let me shout out some favorite fics real quick - the above mentioned "Double Agent Vader", "Cosmic Oddities", a Mando/The Last of Us crossover, all of Blue_Sunshine's work but especially their series "The Desert Storm" and the follow up "Rise and Fall" about a time traveling Ben Kenobi, Deniigiq's series "center stage", Killbothtwins' series "the massive machinery of hope" (more time traveling with one of my favorite characterizations of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon). For the adults looking for something spicy (and by spicy I mean downright smut), Iridan's work "a simple thing" has not only set the standard for Bobadin works, but is one of the best fics I've read PERIOD. Booktok authors WISH they had this level of skill. It's amazing and should be turned into a novel. All of the above fics are on AO3, go check them out and show them some love!

Padme/Anakin. It is heterosexual nonsense and I love it.

Some sections of TCW. I'm not generally a military/war movie person in general, so those sections focusing on that can feel a little long to me. Generally star wars doesn't bore me though!

I'm going to be killed for this, but...Andor. I LIKED IT I DID I JUST. DIDNT LIKE IT AS MUCH AS KENOBI. Yes it was important and relevant and YES it was great. I just think maybe the tiniest bit overhyped. I STILL REALLY LIKE IT THO DONT KILL ME.

Now lets talk abtJaster Mereel can we talk abt jaster mereel ive been dying to talk abt Jaster Mereel

Din/Bo Katan. Before season 3 I would have said no but season 3 got me bitch I can't lie. It's about the fealty.

Star war's flaws. the racism and homophobia and misogyny. yikes!

I DONT CARE IF YOU HATE THE PREQUELS SHUT UP ABOUT IT

🗣read the meta post and am on the edge of my seat for pt. deux. also: between r&g and duelshock desertbloom (ik you didn't write that one but it's the only other notable Bro Strider Fanfiction in my head) i think those fics encompass bro-voice so well and r&g remains one of my favorites. i just love character lovers keep on keepin on man

Okay, first of all!!! Thank you very much! Tbh I'm afraid that part 2 will show my hand too much, mostly because I had kind of planned on talking about how I constructed Bro as a concept in "The After" canon universe but. I guess we'll see lol!

ANYWAY. IT iS SO GOOD OF YOU TO BRING UP DUALSHOCK DESERTBLOOM.

If you did not know, or perhaps you are reading this and do not know already, DD was written by geometrician, who also wrote signs at sundown, which is a fic that happens to be canon within the RNG universe (and dirkfic but. we'll talk about that) and is linked in chapter 16! very significant possibly one of my favorite things anyone has ever handed to me.

The other thing you need to know, possibly only because of the Bro Strider enjoyment, is that i am beyond lucky to call @future-geometries (the geometrician, if u will) my best friend and even, if i care to be a little homestuck about it, my moirail (my MUAHrail if u will, my meowrail, my diamond pal, even). geometrician is also my absolute FAVORITE writer and (this may or may not surprise u)

dualshock desertbloom is my FAVORITE fanfiction. ever. in my entire life and career, 11 years in this fandom, it means more to me than any and all of that.

DD, also lovingly known in my home, my server, and general friend group, as "dirkfic" is just that. It is Dirk vs Dirk, or Dirk vs Bro, but in a way that is cathartic and complete in its presentation.

i don't want to spoil it for people who haven't read it, I really don't. I mean. I do. I want to write a fucking novel about all the things I love most about it but, it's so important to me to keep my hand carefully cupped over the heart of the whole thing.

What you need to know is that some people will see it as a look into Dirk as a person, about viewing Dirk through the way he interacts with Bro but I will say, I firmly believe this to be untrue.

This fic is about viewing Bro Strider through the lens of A Dirk, which is possibly the most important part about writing Bro Strider.

It is about how someone's life influences who they become as a person, but does not excuse their actions. It is about how it is possible to love someone and still destroy them. It is about how it is okay to want to change, how it is okay to want something more for yourself, than what you've been given, what you've been allowed.

Is it any question why I'm literally so enamored that I hardbound it in book format (and sent a copy to the author as a gift lmao)?

also bonus points if you listen to the song undertale during the final chapter scenes yes this actually matters

anyway you did not ask but this is my official recommendation i literally can't say enough, seriously, and ps thank u for the nice things you said abt rng too haha!

2 for the fan sides ask game?

2. Ok so I have Creativity, Logic, Morality/feelings, Anxiety, Depression, and Anger/self-preservation, because I feel like those are the things that factor in the most when I'm making decisions, if that makes sense.

(I'm gonna use my own pronouns to refer to my sides here but I might give them different ones as I develop them more)

They are very similar to Sanders Sides, obviously with four of them having the same traits as them. I only have one creativity side tho, because I don't feel like I mentally separate my creativity into "good" and "bad" the way c!Thomas does.

I feel like I've almost tried to make my logical side Too Much like Logan, they're definitely the one I've developed the least and I'm kinda struggling to come up with a logical character that actually seems like me (idk what that says about me as a person lmao)

I also haven't really thought that much about Morality, I feel like they would kind of encompass my feelings the way Patton does, but I don't have much beyond that.

I don't think my anxious side is all that similar to Virgil, beyond representing anxiety. They definitely have a very different aesthetic (I haven't finished the designs but I imagine them wearing a lot of pastel colours and focusing more on comfy clothes). I also don't think I would ever have viewed them as a villain like c!Thomas did with Virgil.

Another difference from Sanders Sides is that I don't think I'd have a deceitful side, at least in this sense, because lying doesn't really come naturally to me??? Like maybe it's just the autism but I very often forget that lying is A Thing I can do, so I wouldn't have it as like an inate part of me. If anything, Morality would be in charge of dishonesty. That makes more sense to me.

Anger and Depression are the ones I've added that aren't also Sanders Sides characters(unless my theories about the orange side are right lol)

I do have depression, and that impacts my life a lot so I figured that should be represented by one of the sides. I don't like to get into the darker aspects of it, so her role in the comic ideas that as of now only exist in my head is just... wanting to sleep and stay inside all the time and not having the energy to do much. I actually really like her as a character, she's very sweet, she's just very sad and tired all the time.

As I mentioned, my side that represents anger also represents self-preservation. I see my anger as being the part of me that wants to stand up for myself when someone upsets me, so that feels very linked to self-preservation for me. I don't have dark sides, as in sides that are hidden, but Anger is definitely not allowed out much (Morality is probably the one who wants to keep them inside) because I don't really like to be angry and also am shit at standing up for myself lol

Thanks for the ask, I really like talking abt these little guys!!

i don't think i sent an ask after reading demon hyuck bcs i read it all in the midst of a crazy ass week w deadlines i totally forgot m so sorry 😞 i had like 4 deadlines within a 3-day uni week bc we have a long weekend but i didn't wanna to push back reading demon hyuck so i only read it and didn't tell u how i felt abt it WELL .

gah it's so USBFJWFNEJ bcs on one hand i liked thinking of demon hyuck corrupting the reader simply bc it's demon behavior to wreak menace but also. im so obsessed w the idea of hyuck being so enraptured by reader's angel allure/glow whatever she got going on that really caught his eye i love it. and the scene w the diamond necklace i think is the perfect metaphor for that (i might just be reading into it too much omg) like i bet hyuck j found her shiny n pretty for a bit but he got bored of it and moved on zzzz

the smut ok u are a legend in the department of hyuck mannerisms while having sex descriptions i loved it it got me kicking my blankets n squealing n shit I LOVE U n ur brain so much

but also i think i need to tap in a bit bc i dont understand how/why hyuck developed a slight conscience at the end of it like he.. knew he did smth wrong ? or reader knew smth was def wrong? and is the girl at the ending a wholly different girl or reader or what omg pls do explain to my pea brain

BUT I LOVED IT SO MUCH have a happy june happy haechan month baby 🪽🤍 - niki anon

NIKI ANOOON i’m so glad u came back to talk to me about this fic <3 u encouraged me sm by interacting w me as i was writing it hehe so i’m really happy u like it !!!! hope ur weeks are less hectic now and that you have time to rest, you deserve it sm🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

YES hyuck actually being under the reader’s (unintentional) spell just bc she’s an angel is definitely something i wanted to explore beyond just the usual corrupting trope . omg the diamond scene as a metaphor ngl babe i did not think of it like that but i can see it now that’s so clever 😭😭😭😭

thank u especially for complimenting my hyuck mannerisms bc i am SO worried the smut i write gets repetitive so it makes me rlly happy to know that the stuff i write still has an effect on u hehehe

YARRR the questions… WELL the girl at the end is a completely different human girl, and as for the rest of hyuck’s motivations… i wanted to leave stuff open-ended and idw spoil esp bc i might write a part 2…. but i wrote it so that it feels like hyuck may be genuinely falling for reader and it hurts him to see her hurt by him so he had to stop…. but at the same time he might just be unfazed by it and he’ll lather rinse repeat this cycle with as many pretty angels he can get his hands on…WILL definitely explore with more character study and lore if possible bc im the one making the rules here 😎 it means so much to me that i managed to peak ur interest hehehe

I have seen ur ep 3 review kind of post and so i got to thinking. And since i got time this time pls hear my word vomit coz i got no friends

The Kinn-tawan-vegas-porche mess

Kinn being unable to trust but also wanting to protect porche, Porche awaiting for kinn to talk abt his plan, Tawan just being a dick and watching all of it burn, Vegas stabbing everything kinnporche has left. (But Honestly without vegas this arc would be boring)

The Action

I was so excited to watch outside the teernapakul bubble mafia fights (which did happen thanks to vegas) but there's so many internal wars that I question how did this major clan survive all these years with such dysfunctionality? I'm still excited for the kinnporche power couple fight (hopefully 13-14 eps) the recent ones were underwhelming could be coz of camera or editing or the story not needing a good choreographed fight or maybe they were holding it back for the finale.

Vegas

What is it with vegas causing the distress and acting like he's trying to save the damsel in distress and how is it working every time. The plot shield for vegas is so damn thick in this ep. Pete being subjected to whatever Vegas got going just feels wrong but I want it to keep it happening coz we don't know much abt pete like more of npc in GTA . Pete's masked but wt has he masked and why ?? I haven't yet seen why vegas wants power we know he's evil but why has he planned all of this mess if he wasn't hungry for power? And why does he want it? Is it becoz of Daddy issues? Or was he conditioned to believe coz of the environment he was in? He's such a mystery plot device that If I don't have any conclusions i will riot. Also why is Vegas soo charming what a snake 🐍🐍.

Pete

Boi's got no control he's just subjected to try his best. He just doesn't fit here but somehow does fit better than any bodyguard. Looking at all the visual clues, Pete's view of justice and morals are perfect for the kinnporche world but he can't control his microbursts of uncomfortable feelings which is why vegas is feeding off of pete.

Kinnporche arc was all abt trust so what is Vegaspete theme abt? Is it control? Power? Subconsciously being Submissive to the point u see urself going from being evil to grey?

I haven't yet seen Pete succesfully bounce off things or vegas to take control. So if the show follows the fandom's predicted pace of this arc it will be such a defining moment .

So all in all Vegas is a perfectly written plot device that it's like more like Vegas playing god than an antagonist .

And the funniest part is he doesn't know and when he does he adapts the plan quickly. I will slander him for the pain he will cause our sunshine boi but appreciation for his consistency won't go away.

Always welcome those who have nowhere else to go with their meta here!

I am oblivious to how good or bad actions scenes are, honestly. Like me and kissing and me and... a lot of things. I enjoyed the action scenes but, like, I compare these to Tien Bromance and they're a lot better than that. I know we'll get more power couple fights but I can't predict what they'll work like.

Oh, Vegas makes so much sense to me. He's got really amazing people skills and a real talent for knowing how to speak to people to push their buttons exactly the way he wants to push their buttons. It's a gorgeous skill and it makes sense for someone who has minor power and wants more.

And we don't know a lot about Vegas but we can definitely predict what's going on. Is Vegas truly interested in power? His father is. But Vegas himself? I'm not so sure. I think Vegas just wants to be able to do what he likes and to live his life. But we don't know his personal motivations yet beyond trying to do what his father asked.

I love Vegas for that because what might seem like plot armor makes sense between him and Porsche. Because Vegas understands Porsche and how to manipulate, how to feed him just the right energy and the right words. Porsche is straightforward and Vegas finds that so simple. Honestly. Porsche and Kinn are straightforward and Vegas sees right through them in those regards. He did underestimate their bond at first but now he's learned better.

Also, Vegas is absolutely a snake and he's the best snake. He's a viper that looks like it's smiling with his mouth closed and then reveals a thousand teeth when he truly smiles.

Pete is an interesting character because he's a mix of honest kindness and the kind of hardness that only comes from years of violence and a loyal friend and a loyal bodyguard and an understanding friend and someone who can watch torture without blinking. He is the duality of life and he's amazing.

I do think that Pete's role is different. Pete is about the power of kindness and the strength of a smile and the deepness that comes from genuinely caring for other people. He's going to go into Vegas' den for the sake of Porsche and he's doing to take whatever comes his way to prove his friend is innocent.

I also think we definitely saw Vegas take control with the torturing of the prisoner, seeing him so calm and so twisted and watching Pete watch him when no one else could... that was the start of something. That was the proof that they are equals in their own way, though not all ways.

I mean, Kinn and Porsche might be about trust but they're not there yet and I think Vegas and Pete are about pain, honestly. The pain of lying and of torture and of abuse and of loneliness and of loyalty. There are so many kinds of pain.

(no book spoilers)