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solalunar-eclipse · 4 months

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Okay. Okay, I don’t normally do this, but I’ve been wanting to do some sort of analysis post recently and the Sonadow shipper inside me grabbed me by the throat and pointed in Netflix's direction, soooooo...let’s have a look at some clips of Sonic and Shadow interacting in Sonic Prime, shall we? (Putting this under a readmore because of all the images.)

The first clip comes from this post. (I don't know how to add that particular gif to my post, or else I'd put it here too, but oh well. I'm analyzing the first one, to be specific.)

So, we begin with Shadow walking away, saying “We’re going after Nine”.

Sonic then reaches out to stop him (with his right hand, despite the fact that he has to reach all the way across his own body to do so, possibly suggesting that Prime!Sonic is right-handed?). This seems to be just before Shadow’s noticed, because he’s still moving forward, looking resolved now that he’s decided what to do.

Shadow sees Sonic’s hand, and looks at it with an expression that seems…mildly irritated, but not outright angry. It’s about halfway between his “resting grumpy face” and his “actually angry face”, in my opinion.

He looks over at Sonic himself with a slightly angrier face (mainly made evident by the fact that the point in the middle of his brow is actually touching his muzzle instead of resting above it).

Then he looks back at Sonic’s hand again (in a pose that I swear is slightly different from the last one even if it doesn’t look that way). The only real difference is that he’s just looking down a little more. The effect of these last three images in actual motion, though, is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it glance at the hand, up to Sonic, and then back to the hand. It's sort of a "huh-what-huh?!" motion, I think. To me, this gives off extremely strong “what the heck is even happening right now?!” energy.

For completion’s sake, I’m going to finish out the rest of the gif with these last three pictures. Shadow pulls away from Sonic at this point (which, fair, Sonic did grab him out of nowhere and he’s not normally very touchy-feely although this may be disproved in the next gif), and it may or may not have felt like a small punch to the gut for me to see Sonic’s hand outstretched like that, but anyway.

Shadow shifts into one of his patented I’m Trying To Be Cool And Aloof Despite Being An Adorable Three Foot Tall Hedgehog poses, complete with an eyeroll. He doesn’t actually seem that upset about Sonic touching him, however, I think it’s probably more the context of the situation. Shadow keeps insisting that Nine is a threat that needs to be stopped, and Sonic keeps preventing him from doing that, so his frustrated reaction seems to have much more to do with why Sonic touched him than the fact that he did so at all.

And, least but certainly not least, a cute contemplative (and still slightly grumpy) expression from Shadow. (He’s just adorable!! Aaaaaaa—)

Now then! Let’s move onto a really, really big one…

…The Hug™.

The post that I got this clip from actually has some really good points that I’m going to discuss further, so please go read that first! It won’t take long, and also everything the OP says there is absolutely true.

Ready? Here we go! (Please excuse the slightly crunchy pictures...the only way I was able to get this level of detailed analysis was by recording the gif, scrubbing through the frames, and taking screenshots of specific moments, which naturally led to some artifacting.)

So, what's just happened prior to this frame was Rebel Rouge saying happily, "Sonic, you're okay!". Sonic, like the goof he is, does not acknowledge this in any way, fully focused on introducing his boyfriend to his other Shatterspace pals. Instead, he's just looking over at Shadow. Notably, Shadow is instead looking up at Rebel. I'd like to think this is because Rebel has the most put-together and leader-like behavior out of the Rouge counterparts, so he could be waiting for her to continue speaking and give instructions or commentary on the situation, like she does with Team Dark in the games. That's just my take, though, he could just as well be generally on edge—he is in the middle of a battlefield, after all.

Smear frame!! This is included for the expressions as well as for completeness…but mostly for the expressions. Look at how big Sonic's eyes are. Look at how excited he is. He's so hyped to introduce his best rival to everyone. Shadow, meanwhile, looks like he just bluescreened out of pure shock. Sonic's yanking him over so fast he's all blurry, but we can see that his expression is basically 0—0 right now. He has been Touched and he is being Moved and he has not had time to process Why.

(Notably, however, he doesn't break the hold, despite the fact that he definitely could...)

Now, they’ve both settled into place (although ‘settled’ may be the wrong word for Shadow, haha). Sonic is doing what I can only describe as beaming—just look at him! He has a big smile on his face, and he looks almost proud to be introducing Shadow. It really shows how much Sonic values and respects him. (*sobs*) Shadow, meanwhile, has shifted from “what is happening” to “oh Chaos I am being held I am being hugged?? What??? Physical contact? Why????”. He just looks so stunned by the hug, it’s too adorable! More specifically, in addition to the obvious fact that his irises and pupils have shrunk and that he has very stiff posture, if you look very closely at the gif as well as at the following pictures, his ears are also standing up a little straighter and his quills have pushed back slightly, possibly prickling at the sudden contact? Interesting…

Here, we can see Shadow’s ears relax now that he’s processed what’s going on, and his quills have more of a visible curve to them instead of sticking out so much. He’s also glaring off to one side in a position that could either be interpreted as frustration at his current situation (though not so much that he’s willing to push away!!) or as embarrassment. Personally, I think it’s a little of both. Sonic, meanwhile, is still smiling like the sweetheart he is.

Now, we’re getting into the frames leading up to Sonic leaning into Shadow (aka one of the most precious moments of the show). Honestly, I don’t have too much to say about this one, except that Sonic is moving in a way that he would normally while talking right now (shifting around, because this boy has loads of energy) so I have a feeling Shadow probably doesn’t expect the cuddles that are coming his way, ehehe.

The Smush begins!! Shadow looks like he’s quickly resigned himself to his fate, but also decently irritated that he’s essentially getting side-snuggled in front of everyone. This could’ve been another part where he shoved Sonic off himself (goodness knows he did it before in Avoid the Void), and yet he doesn’t, leading to the best part of this whole moment!

Sonic, you smug hedgie. Shadow’s already letting you hug him, don’t push it with that smirk! Shadow does have his eyes closed here, suggesting to me that he is at least a little bit annoyed by now. Again, though, I think this has more to do with the fact that he’s essentially in front of an entire crowd, none of whom recognize or know him. I’ve seen someone else point out that Shadow gets more closed off in Prime when he’s around people aside from Sonic, so honestly, the fact that he’s putting up with this at all sure is…something. (Shipping goggles on: it could be because he appreciates Sonic’s affection enough that he’s willing to cope with the embarrassment if it means the cute annoying hedgehog next to him will hold him a little longer :] )

Okay, so this is really difficult to see, but look at Shadow’s wrist protectors in this image as well as the last one. See how there’s less of them visible in this picture here? That’s because, as the person who posted this gif noted, Sonic moves his hand up and down Shadow’s arm twice after cuddling up to him like this. It actually moves Shadow’s entire arm and shoulder up and down with the movement, making it look a little bit like a friendly rub or shake. Sort of like “hey, look at my grumpy friend, isn’t he great?”. Meanwhile, Sonic’s still looking smug, but I’m now wondering if it’s a bit of a knowing look as well? I mean, this is the one friend of his who’s truly known him for more than a few days. I’m wondering if there’s a bit of “‘ey, Shadow, c’mon, don’t be so shy! You’re my pal!” vibes here, partially because he knows it’ll annoy Shadow and partly because he just knows how Shadow is but wants to drag him into his circle of friends regardless. (Look at how much Sonic cares about Shadow, trying to make sure he’s included! So cute!!)

THE PAT. Two of Sonic’s fingers are lifted up here, which he then uses to give Shadow a light tap on the arm. THE AFFECTION. THE OBVIOUS CARE AND FRIENDLINESS IN THIS ONE SIMPLE ACTION. SONIC CARES ABOUT SHADOW SO OBVIOUSLY IT HURTS ME TO WATCH. MY HEART. No matter how many times Shadow puts up walls, Sonic smashes them down. After all, Shadow doesn’t get to be the only one who does things like keeping Sonic safe or helping him stay grounded! Sonic’s not going to pretend those things just didn’t happen—Shadow cares about him in his own awkward, emotionally constipated way, and Sonic is reciprocating. You can’t stop him, Shadow!

I’m skipping the smear frame here, just because Sonic and Shadow basically pop up and right into this position. Sonic’s two fingers come out of the tap/pat and straight into the peace sign, and now he’s smiling even more than he was at the start of this whole thing. His eyes are all big and shiny too—he’s clearly very happy to have introduced Shadow, and perhaps also quite happy that he’s getting this moment of prolonged physical contact with Shadow. Now, while Shadow’s shoulder is still kind of smushed upwards, which could indicate stress in another circumstance, it seems to me here that this is mainly because Sonic’s hand is pulling it upwards slightly. (Although, I’m afraid it does appear to be the case that Sonic and Shadow are approximately the same height in Prime—remember, Shadow’s ears aren’t as perky right now as Sonic’s, and the ears are really the only height difference between them here.) Shadow’s expression, however, is honestly quite neutral. Despite his previous discomfort (part of which, I just realized, could be because Sonic essentially was pushing him off balance. Shadow was tilted pretty far to his left, which could be a little awkward of a position to be in, especially for an extended period of time), he doesn’t look bothered at all, instead just quietly existing in this situation. Most of the irritability in his expression comes from his angular eyes and his aforementioned “resting grumpy face”, honestly.

(I couldn’t find any gif that includes this next part—probably because the camera cuts away from Sonic and Shadow here for a moment to show the general confusion of the Shatterverse folks—but when it cuts back, Shadow is still standing there with Sonic’s arm around him. Heck, he looks willing to continue standing there for however long Sonic stays next to him, only pulling away when Nine comes back and makes noise, reminding everyone that we’re in the middle of a battle for everyone’s survival here. And when he does pull away, Sonic is dragged with him, which is probably mostly for laughs, but does also imply that a) he was holding onto Shadow pretty tightly and b) he wasn’t expecting to have to let go even AFTER Nine made himself known.)

This post is long enough already (and I drafted it when I could've been going to sleep, because the force of Sonadow infected me), so I won't be doing the "Shadow saves Sonic" scene just yet (unless a lot of people want to see that). For now, though, thanks for bearing with me throughout my descent into madness over these two. And if you want me to take a look at other gifs, feel free to send them my way or put them in a reblog and I'll see if I can make the time to analyze them!

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic prime #sonic prime spoilers #sonadow #sonic prime season 3 #LOOK AT THE PRECIOUS BOYS #I LOVE THEM #brief postscript:#my opinion on sonic prime is that while some of the character arcs were a bit rushed #the *characterization* overall was fantastic #so there's my two cents if anyone's interested!

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giveamadeuschohisownmovie · 8 months

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Just to emphasize how much of a left turn “Saw X” is for the franchise, you need to consider what “Saw” is to most people. Aside from the first movie which has been mostly re-evaluated as a decent thriller that was more focused on story than gore, the series has been criticized for being an excuse to show off people being mutilated in the worst ways possible. The series has been credited as a “pioneer” in the torture porn label, which you can’t really argue due to it being mostly true for the sequels. The series has also never been a critical darling (all the movies before X have all had negative Rotten Tomatoes scores), which I think contributed to the series’ image as low-grade torture porn.

As the story got more convoluted and frustrating, the more the series seemed to focus on killing people. For me, I started noticing this when the 4th movie featured a trap that didn’t really have a purpose in the story (the mausoleum trap with Art Blank). That trap felt more like the makers wanted to do a really brutal scene and didn’t care if it made sense.

Main characters would only last one movie. It was pretty much useless getting attached to any protagonist since they usually got axed off by the end of the movie. Because protagonists kept getting killed off, further sequels tended to focus on characters who played more minor roles. Rigg is probably the best example of this since I’m pretty sure no one was expecting this character to be a protagonist. Point I’m making here is that character development was essentially useless since protagonists were just glorified cannon fodder.

Then there’s the unfortunate existence of “Saw 3D”, which made the series look like it was just trend-chasing.

The series died for a few years. It then tried to come back with “Jigsaw” and “Spiral”, which the makers claimed to be a reinvention of the series that would renew interest in the franchise. Instead, they were both just sorta lackluster and didn’t really convince people that Saw was worth revisiting.

So, “Saw X” clearly had an uphill battle. But lo and behold, the movie gets released and ends up being:

1) A surprisingly good character piece centered around Jigsaw and Amanda. Yes, there are still death traps and gore, but the focus on story and character development is definitely felt more in this installment.

2) The only “Saw” movie with a positive Rotten Tomatoes score. In general, seeing positive critical reception about a “Saw” movie is crazy to me.

3) An actual, successful reinvention of the franchise since it’s centered around Jigsaw instead of having him be the mastermind in the background. Just by being a straightforward thriller instead of a convoluted horror-mystery is enough to distinguish this from the other 9 movies.

Kudos to “Saw”. This is why in one of my posts last night, I called it one of the greatest redemption arcs I’ve seen in horror. It’s the TENTH installment in a series that’s been critically savaged its entire lifetime, it shouldn’t have succeeded. But here we are.

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stargloom · 2 months

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hey. i dont like doing this. and i dont want to be a tumblr bitch who's wrote a callout before. but i cannot in good faith continue posting in the same community as this guy and allow him to pretend to not be genuinely a sicko. but @/bloomingduskk (who im sure will change urls after i post this is. a prosh.ipper radq.eer trans.d alongside a plethora of unfavorable unethical things. most of which being too personal to share, but enough left for me to be uncomfortable with my own silence. tw for like fucking everything lol

I never wanted to be in this position, or ever have to be the author of something like this. I am not a confrontational person or someone who enjoys drama, i’m entirely someone who goes out of his way not to get involved in such things, but due to my past public friendships with this person, and his tendencies of covering his tracks and lying about me and my friends, i feel as if it would be cowardly of me not to at least issue a warning about this user, and hope my message is conveyed well. If this was solely a personal gripe, I would not come out with a doc publically, I have no intentions of being petty, and am purposely leaving out a lot of petty issues and things that have been done to harm me personally. I only intend to talk about the actual dangers he promotes, and provide counterclaims to the narratives he tends to enjoy putting out.

Before going further, i will be addressing him by his url, or nothing at all, as i will not be calling him by the japanese name he chooses to go by as a white person. It is against my morals. I hope that my decision doesn’t make this document more confusing than it needs to be.

--- bloomingduskk uses Japanese names as a white person, and has done so for a while. He currently uses the name “maki” , and for the last half of 2023, went by Kaede, despite the fact that i firmly told him not to due to it being cultural appropriation multiple times, and each time he gave me an excuse, before continuing to do it. This is not a targeted attack against him, as he has said before in regard to being told not to use a japanese name, but something that i would condemn no matter who the person was. He identify(s)d as transracial. No matter the mental health issues you may have, the entire concept of “transitioning” into an ethnic minority is racist and entirely unacceptable. Here was his response to that.

And here is him self describing as transracial, and his pinned post on his old radqueer blog

^^ his discord at the time, which i and many others have personal dms with, matched exactly with his radq.ueer blogs. he cannot fucking say this isnt him i will go insane if he tries to deny this shit. He has spoken about me under the guise that I am stalking him, despite never having me blocked on anything but an old art account, and also the fact that I have gone out of my way, due to having severe morality ocd, not to scroll through or look at his content. All screenshots were provided to me secondhand, and not from my own devices, due to how severe this situation was for me, a person with ocd who he knew has ocd. At the time of these screenshots, i specifically requested my friends to block out his usernames so i didn't obsessively compulsively make myself feel sick scrolling through his blogs. (the screenshots in question here are not mine, i own a samsung galaxy, this ui does not match. I added my own annotations to the second image though.) VV his self identification as a proshipper + some stuff he had on his propara blogs (heavy tw)

^^ the first image here is in repsonse to an extremely long and thought out message my friend sent him during this period to this specific blog of his when it still existed.

his response to this was full of lies and empty promises and excuses, and plenty of vapid words he has taken back. i dont see a point in including what he had to say about this purely because he was lying through his teeth.

his twt account was probably the worst thing of his that was shown to me. i do not want to include screenshots of the things he would retweet as they were all sexually explicit imagery and posting of pedophilia, rape, beastiality, severe abuse, loli/shota content, and general dangerous and exploitative philias. i do not want to make that content more reachable to anyone than it already is . this account has been deleted. but i have been given screenshots of him posting his art there. along with the most tame thing i think he posted there. yeah

a lot of the harm he has done to my friends and i is extremely personal, far more personal than i feel comfortable airing out on a public blog that i've worked hard to distance a public personality from. so, i am not willing to spend time slowly outlining every single lie and harmful action he has done. that would make this post impossibly long, and i dont have the stomach to retrigger myself in this way. this has taken me two months to write, as i am deeply bothered by it and this entire event with him made me the sickest i'd been in a long while. do not fucking harass him. block him. im certain he's going to send himself anon asks pretending to be stargloom rabid fans or pretend to be my friends or whatever but all i want is for him to stay the fuck away from me and my friends and spaces where he pretends he isn't into vile shit. block him. dont interact. dont send him anything. just be careful of this cunt . i refuse to let him walk around as if he hasn't happily and enthusiastically promoted the most vile content one can enjoy.

im sure he's gonna scramble after this and probably start spewing revolting shit abt me which hes done at every single turn after me being upset. but he cannot pretend like nothing happened forever. thanks.

#long post #starspeak #jesus christ. now i gotta fucking trigger tag this shit #tw inc*st #tw pedophila mention #tw sh #tw zoophile mention #tw unsanitary #i already said this but DO NOT harass him please just dont interact w this sicko or engage w his work #i know he will send himself anon asks its his favourite game but genuinely. dont do that. thanks #this is rebloggable please do if u can i dont like how he slinks around in the dgr fandom all innocent #tw r4p3 #bruh i cannot keep up w these censored tags #i will probs rb this throughout the week bc i want . this to be known #i am leaving this up because i dont want this to be ignored or forgotten about .

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basicbunnyboo · 2 months

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I Would

A Lucifer x Reader Fic

A.N. I am so sorry about the lack of posts. Next up will be a Vox x Reader, probably with yandere vibes because that seems to be a point of interest. Let me know if any of you have ideas, requests, headcanons, etc I’d love to hear from you all

A fight with Reader’s mentor goes wrong and Lucifer helps them pick up the pieces.

It wasn’t new. The whole “taking someone in to mold them in their image”. I knew it wasn’t the healthiest. How she would correct anything that wasn’t in the way she wanted. Posture, wording, smile, emotions. Anything. But I’m her favorite. I’ve never been someone’s favorite.

She took me in. She taught me. How to survive. How to thrive in Hell. I couldn’t just… leave. She didn’t have my soul, but she didn’t need it. I was her child. Her favorite.

I needed her. And she needed me.

Right?

————

This hotel was a waste. There would be nothing to come from this. Just the opportunity to get close to Miss Princess. And who better to send than her protégée?

“Dear.”

They perked up, “Yes, miss?”

A small smile, straight posture, slight exhaustion showing, but she’ll excuse it.

She lifted their chin, looking them over, “Have you heard about the little hotel Ms. Morningstar is hosting?”

“No, miss. Would you like me to look into it?”

She smiled, gently patting the side of their cheek, “No need. I just need you to go and watch over. The Morningstars would be a valuable asset if you can win over the princess. Can you do that for me?”

They nodded, their smile never fading, “Of course, miss.”

“Good.”

————

Oh fuck.

I’m screwed.

She asked one simple thing. Get close to Charlie Morningstar. And I did that.

But she’s so… nice. How is the princess of Hell so nice?

I thought it was a ruse to convince sinners to come, try to redeem themselves, and then she would swoop in and make a deal. Her assistance for… something

But no. She’s just nice.

Nice.

Not just her. Vaggie and her awkward but genuine assistance, Angel with his comfort, Husk with his advice, Pen with his little gifts, Al with his gentle words, Nif with her roach-themed crowns, and Lucifer.

The root of the problem.

King of Hell. Lucifer Morningstar. Leader of the Pride Ring.

An absolute nerd. Adorable dork. Duck enthusiast.

“Hey! I finished Charlie’s gift, but I think something is missing. What do you think?”

He sat on the counter as I stayed in my seat. He continued listing off how he made the duck. What kind it was, what he thought was cool about it, and then some.

And I couldn’t focus on a damn thing he said.

“What do you think?”

That stupid smile. When was the last time I saw a genuine smile outside of this fucked up hotel?

I smiled softly as I gazed at him, “It’s perfect.”

He nodded, his view focused on the duck, “Okay. I trust you.”

Trust me. That’s stupid. This is Hell, you can’t trust anyone.

“Actually, maybe a bow tie?”

He lit up, giving me that bright smile again, “Perfect! This is why I come to you.”

He hopped off to go to his workshop. I just sat there and watched him leave like some lovesick puppy.

Pathetic.

“Heya, toots.”

“Don’t you even say it.”

Angel sat down next to me with the usual shit-eating grin, “Say what? That you two should just fuck already?”

My head hit the counter.

“Look,” he sighed, “I know how… she can be. But you shouldn’t let that bi- er, let her rule your life.”

I stayed silent.

She was everything. She gave me everything. How could I leave her for something as stupid as an emotion?

Angel sighed, rubbing my back.

————

He knew he couldn’t talk. He fought back to Val and he got a bloody nose and a death sentence.

But he was his favorite. Val wouldn’t kill him, but damnit he would prefer it.

————

“But dad, she does! Everybody sees it!”

Lucifer fidgeted with his old wedding ring.

He hadn’t worn it for a over month.

Was it really that long ago?

“I don’t know, Charlie. She’s too…”

“Too?”

He sighed dramatically as he leaned back, looking over his actual latest duck. He only showed them his ‘Charlie duck’ because he wanted to talk to them.

Hell, he was pathetic…

He had been married before. He should know how to be smooth.

Granted, she left him. For some reason she seemed to forget to share. Out of nowhere. Leaving him alone. With Charlie. A daughter that she purposefully tried to seperate him from… But she loved him. At least once.

Right?

“But you guys are so cute,” Charlie pouted as she leaned back on his bed, throwing her hands in the air, “I look over and you’re looking at her with that huge smile and they look back when you look away and it’s all so close but you won’t say anything and they won’t say anything and-”

A knock on the door paused her ramble, “Babe? You in there? Alastor has something he wants to show you.”

Charlie perked up, “Oh, uh…”

She looked to her dad, to which he nodded with a small smile. She smiled back and left, giving him a thumbs up.

————

The duck was similar to the others. A likeness to them, but there was a small golden apple on their head.

He couldn’t explain why he wanted to add it. But they looked good in gold. And the apple was his staple.

It definitely wasn’t his subconscious wanting to see them with a golden ring. And it certainly wasn’t him wanting a matching one.

Of course not.

————

She was smiling. That wasn’t a good sign.

“Darling, I don’t usually ask much of you. But this?” She held up the small duck, “I thought you were better than this.”

How the fuck did she find that?

“Normally,” she walked down towards me, looking over the duck, “I would have you removed from that little hotel. But if you could get the King of Hell waiting on you, then-“

“No.”

…

What the fuck did I just do?

“No?”

I paused. I was glaring at her. When did I do that? I bowed my head, trying to regain whatever respect I had left.

“I… my apologies, miss. But…”

She took a few more steps, “But?” Lifting my chin she made me look at her, “Tell me. Why is my favorite darling refusing me something so simple?”

Favorite.

A chill ran down my spine. Stiff, nervous, afraid.

Afraid?

Why should I be afraid? I’m her favorite. She said so.

Favorite.

“I don’t…” I cleared my throat, “I shouldn’t. I… He’d figure me out. He might be out of the field, but he’s not stupid.”

It was true.

She stared me down. I wasn’t telling her the real reason and she knew it. She knew it. She knew me.

“Fine.”

I looked up, confused, “Wha-”

“Either you do this for me,” she caressed my face, “or you leave. I can’t bare to see you become such a disgrace.” Her grip was tight.

A disgrace.

But I’m her favorite.

Aren’t I?

She’d forgive me. Just this once.

Right?

“You don’t have to respond,” she pat my cheek as she started to walk away, “but if you don’t come back with a good status report, don’t bother coming back at all.”

Nearly 20 minutes passed before I could move.

————

“Hello?”

They hadn’t responded to anything. Charlie hadn’t seen them so… out of it. She’d seen Angel Dust like this once when Val had his… fun. But them? They had their soul. Did something happen? Did they need a hug?

“Do you want-”

They walked past me. It was like they couldn’t see me.

Weird.

————

How did he get here?

They were hugging him like a small stuffed animal. Their face in his neck and-

Fuck. When was the last time someone was this close to him? Comfortably close. It felt like years. It felt nice. He felt nice.

He felt safe.

His ducks made him feel safe. He always had his ducks.

He thought Lilith made him feel safe. She made him feel excited, happy, even confident at times. But never safe.

So what was different?

Well, for one, they were sobbing earlier. They couldn’t talk, so he sat next to them and offered a hug. It’s easy to see what happened next.

He started running the tips of his fingers up and down their back, holding them just a bit tighter.

“It’ll be okay,” he sighed, kissing their forehead, “I got you.”

————

“I got you.”

It was so gentle.

I got you.

He did. He was right there for me.

Why?

Did I even deserve it?

Why does he care so much?

Did he want something from me?

No, that’s not him.

That I know.

So…

Why?

————

They fell asleep.

On him.

They never sleep in front of people.

Maybe he’s overthinking it. Maybe they’re just really tired. Maybe they just needed a quick fix.

That’s it. Of course it is. Nobody needs him. Not for long. Just enough to get by and get something better.

Something better than-

“Luci?”

Luci?

He liked having a nickname.

He pulled their hair out of their face, “Yes?”

“Thank you.”

…

“Anything.”

The, I’d do anything for you, died on his tongue.

————

“Anything.”

Why?

Why me?

Why him?

Was I worth it?

“Hey.”

I hummed, still not able to talk.

“She’s not worth it.”

What?

“I’ve seen you, known you, for months. You don’t need to keep yourself waiting on someone who doesn’t care about you,” he sighed. His hand pulled them closer to him. “You deserve someone who loves you. If they love you, they won’t try to change you.”

“And who the Hell do you know would do that? This is Hell, Lucifer.”

“I would.”

…

“What?”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer x y/n #lucifer x reader #lucifer x you #lucifer #hazbin hotel x reader

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jabberwockprince · 11 months

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ITS ME AGAIN, EXCEPT I DONT HAVE ENERGY FOR A FULL PIECE BUT!!! THIS EXTREMELY GOOD ADDITION ON THE HANAHAKI DISEASE DISCUSSION BY @instantartific INSPIRED ME TO DRAW!!!

as much as i love to bully rin with existential crisis and shit, i still think he'd be the last one to break down - but the first one??? to fall out of line??? to me its definitely eloni

as usual, me rambling under the cut!!

right off the bat, i do like to think a lot about how eloni sees himself as the weakest link of 1010 - entirely because he gets less fans. their entire existence revolves around entertaining, so if he cant even do that, then what's the purpose of him being around and all? its a very unfair way to live but it's not like they were even supposed to have opinions about it. and that's the beginning of his downfall. the fact that his popularity is affecting him on an emotional level when it shouldnt even be a THING. he already feels outdated, defective and more!!!

i also think that eloni is torn between the fear of being caught and the need to be seen. like, this is something brand new that's happening to him. he's an anomaly and one of a kind BECAUSE of these feelings. to a guy who rarely gets the chance to shine???? IMAGINE. IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD DO TO HIS ALREADY CRUMBLING IMAGE

like come on guys. there's a reason eloni is always paired up with haym. they're very cute together as a fun duo with fun dynamics, but in boybands, there's always that one guy who only serves to uplift others.

something something, sentience and self-awareness are a nightmare, it sucks that there's no one you can trust wholeheartedly (nym put this into cooler words, go read the linked post! go go go!) and the second you deviate, there's the immediate threat of being reset. all of you? gone. BUT THERE'S ALSO. THE POTENTIAL OF STANDING OUT

yes. he gets little sprouts and vines instead of specific flowers to really emphasize how much of a weak persona eloni believes he has. even if he's found out, it won't be grand. it will be a relief to him (or so he thinks) but he's certainly not going out with a bang. also the green plants blending in with his own designated color? there's another metaphor in there, i just cant put it into words!! small inconspicuous little things that amount to something extremely dangerous and painful!!!!

i imagine eloni sees this hanahaki disease as catharsis, since there's no way he could've ever voiced his feelings, the only way for him to be noticed is through an external force that's extremely hard to ignore. its eating him up from inside out, but in his eyes, it's fine because it gives the world an excuse to look at him

and in the event of yinu's mama straight up outing eloni to neon j or the others, i also think he'd have the most tame, accepting reaction to it? or like, not necessarily accepting, actually but resigned. part of him was anxiously waiting for it to happen, while also dreading this very moment

on the subject of the plant itself and how it coexists with eloni, i think that his vines and sprouts are very small very thin but that they're the most constricting things ever. like, they get EVERYWHERE in his joints. in every crevice and space available. whereas purlhew might instead just have an ungodly and suffocating amount of blue flowers located entirely in his chest cavity until he bursts. or haym might have very localized sprouts and blooms that just. pop. as if attuned to every feeling he's trying to repress. i dont know what zimelu has, but it needs thorns. and rin? well. WELL <3. ITS A POISONOUS PLANT FOR SURE <333

#no straight roads #no straight roads 1010 #nsr #nsr 1010 #nsr eloni #hanahaki disease #purinsu art #sorry im losing my mind over all this good writing i've been seeing and receiving #i specifically imagine eloni as the catalyst for everyone else #like. no one is surprised that its eloni. but it still serves as a way to remind the rest of 1010 #that theyre not safe #so to speak

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violentdelightsandviolentends · 1 year

Note

Could we get a Frankie Morales fluff or smut (whichever you're feeling, or both?) with

35. "Better than I ever imagined."

👀👀🥺🥺💚

Find You.

35. "Better than I ever imagined."

Author's Note - this is a drabble written as part of my 500 Followers Celebration!! find that post here if you're interested in sending a request!! i love writing for any pedro characters. those big brown eyes get me everytime :(

Pairing - Frankie Morales x Neighbour!Female Reader

Warnings - mild cursing. smooching <3

Word Count - 811

Masterlist. 500 Follower Celebration Masterlist.

Your episode of TV is interrupted by a knock at your front door.

"Sweetheart? It's me. It's Frankie."

Sighing with relief, you make your way to the door, opening it to be met with none other than your next door neighbour, Frankie Morales.

"Hey!" you greet, probably a little too chirpy. Your crush on this man is monumental, and you often find you have to remind yourself to play it cool around him.

"Hey, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Ever the gentleman. No, you're not. Just watching TV. What do you need?"

It's not uncommon for you and Frankie to show up at each others doors unannounced. Sometimes, he'll come to borrow sugar, or you'll pop over to ask for help fixing your faucet. You make good neighbours, always helping one another out in whatever way you can.

"I have a weird request," he explains, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him.

"Hit me with it, Morales."

"Can I use your shower?"

Oh. Suddenly, your mind is flooded with images of Frankie, dripping wet, towel hanging low on his hips, hair messy...

"You with me, honey?" he asks, slight smirk on his lips.

"Yeah, sorry. Daydreaming," you recover. "Any reason you can't use your own?"

"Something's wrong with it. I've tried to fix it, but I think I made it worse. I've been at work all day, and the plumber can't come until tomorrow," he explains.

"Well, you know where the bathroom is. I'll get you a clean towel," you begin to walk towards your cupboard when a strong arm grabs your wrist and pulls you back.

"Thank you, so much. You're an angel, you know that right?" he winks at you, and you throw your head back in a laugh. The melody of it makes him smile.

He makes his way to your bathroom, you following shortly after with his towel. You retreat back to the living room, resuming your episode and trying not to think about the currently naked Frankie Morales in your apartment.

"Sweetheart?" he speaks from the doorway, startling you.

"Shit, Frankie! You move like a Prius!"

"Sorry," he laughs, clearly amused.

You look at him carefully. He's still dry.

"I'm totally interrupting something, aren't I?" he asks.

You raise your eyebrows in confusion. He continues.

"There's a pretty dress hanging up in the bathroom, and your makeup is all over the counter. Were you going out? Am I totally ruining your plans right now?"

Shit. You'd forgotten you'd hung your dress up to try and get the creases out, and totally forgot to put all your makeup away. You'd scrubbed your face with a makeup wipe haphazardly and made yourself cosy on the couch, paying no mind to the mess you'd left behind.

"No, no," you explain. "I was supposed to be going out, but the plans changed."

You're hoping he doesn't notice the slight wobble in your voice. He does.

"Hey, hey, are you okay?" he frets, coming to sit next to you. "Did something happen? You can talk to me."

"It's nothing. Seriously. It's stupid."

"It's not stupid if it's upset you."

He's looking at you so intently with those warm chocolate eyes, you're struggling not to burst into tears.

"I was meant to be going on a date. I was kind of excited, actually. But he cancelled last minute with some bullshit excuse."

"Oh, honey."

"It seems to happen to me a lot. Do I repel love, or something? Why can everyone find it but me?"

Frankie grabs your hands in his, warm palms calming you down.

"You're too good for men like that," he says firmly. "They don't deserve you."

You smile half-heartedly at him, and sit in the silence for a while, fingers still intertwined. Frankie's voice breaks through the quiet gently.

"Maybe you need to stop looking for love. Maybe it'll find you." Then, a bit quieter, "Maybe it already has."

Your eyes widen at his confession, searching his face for any traces of humour. Instead, you're met with Frankie looking at you carefully, no hints of amusement on his features. He's deadly serious.

"I'm so glad that idiot cancelled on you," he admits. "Because it means I get to do this."

He surges forward and captures your lips in a searing kiss. His hands move to cradle your face, and yours move to tangle in his chocolate curls.

The kiss is electric, alive with excitement. It's passionate and loving and heated and well worth the wait.

You pull away, gasping for air. He rests his forehead on yours, breathing each other in.

"Better than I ever imagined," he whispers against your lips.

"Yeah?" you smile.

"Yeah," he confirms, grinning from ear to ear.

Suddenly, Frankie stands up from the couch, pulling you by the hand. He's smirking, mischief rife in his eyes.

"Now, how about that shower?"

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rhondafromhr · 20 days

Text

Lautity shippers I’m working on something for you!!

Not done yet but I wanted to share this snippet of what I have so far <3

(Also content warning: it’s pretty brief but it does deal with homophobia/internalized homophobia)

Summary: When Solomon decides raising her grades isn’t enough to get her phone back and demands Stephanie round out her extracurriculars, she maliciously complies by joining Grace in her anti-homecoming campaign. After all, yelling at her classmates about spunk and trying to get their dance canceled won’t be very good for his precious public image. Grace is glad to have the extra help, but gets more than she bargained for when she starts to develop feelings for Stephanie.

Stephanie’s hands are twitching. Somewhere out there, somebody is certainly posting the worst, most horrendous take known to man on Twitter at this very moment and here she is without her phone, powerless to do anything about it. It’s such bullshit. Her dad said that if she raised her grades to a C average, she could have it back, but at the last minute he decided that wasn’t enough and demanded she start rounding out her currently lackluster list of extracurriculars. In her opinion, spitting cold hard facts and spicy hot takes online totally counts (it’s basically journalism if you think about it), but he emphatically disagreed. She has to do something she can actually put on a college application, which means smoke club is off the table. To make matters worse, she made the mistake of complaining to Stacy and Brenda about her predicament and they’ve decided she just has to join cheer.

“Seriously, just try the new cheer with us and see how you like it! I mean you’re pretty, you’re popular, why aren’t you a cheerleader already?” says Brenda.

“Uh, doesn’t it also require, like, dance skills and athleticism and enthusiasm?” Steph says with a skeptical look.

“Oh, you can learn all that stuff,” Stacy says cheerfully.

“Yeah, that’s great and all, but isn’t it too late to join?” Stephanie replies, increasingly desperate for some way to end this conversation.

“Technically, yeah, but I’m captain! I’m sure I can talk coach into making an exception for you,” Brenda says “seriously, just give it a try and tell us you don’t absolutely love it!”

“Do I really need to try it to tell you I don’t absolutely love it? I’ve never tried, like, squeezing lemon juice into an open wound, either, but I’m pretty confident I don’t like that.”

They both purse their lips in confusion, pausing just long enough for her salvation to arrive - fittingly enough, in the form of Grace. Honestly, the least she can do is help Stephanie out of this jam. Her inability to butt out and let people cheat on tests in peace is the reason Stephanie’s even in this situation in the first place. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she almost made them all complicit in manslaughter with that stupid prank. If Pete dove to catch Max even a fraction of a second later, she doesn’t want to think about what would’ve happened. Then again, Max’s brush with death seems to have humbled him and he’s at least been trying to be less of an asshole, so she supposes she has to give Grace credit for making Hatchetfield High a more tolerable place to be. Besides that, whether she likes it or not, they’re running in the same circles now. Steph’s been spending more time with Pete and Pete hangs out with Ruth and Richie, who hang out with Grace, so they’re stuck together, at least at lunch. To make things even weirder, Max has been joining them and those four have been letting him.

“Hey! Grace!” Stephanie calls with uncharacteristic enthusiasm as Grace rounds the corner, her “Homec*mming: don’t dance with temptation!” sign held high.

“Hi, Stephanie,” she says, eyeing her suspiciously “I assume you haven’t changed your mind about allowing that excuse for sin and debauchery to happen?”

“I, uh, you know what? Yes I have,” says Stephanie. Surprise flashes across Grace’s face before she hands over the pink glitter gel pen attached to her clipboard so Stephanie can sign. There’s something so strangely charming about the fact that she uses a freaking glitter gel pen of all things for this.

“Actually,” Stephanie says as she puts down her signature with a flourish “I was wondering if you needed any help with your campaign.”

It’s brilliant. She can fulfill her father’s extracurricular requirement and simultaneously make him regret ever asking her to do it. He’s constantly hounding her about not doing anything to smear his public image and hurt his chances of reelection. Joining Grace in going around school harassing all of her peers and telling them they’re going to hell for supporting homecoming is going to reflect very, very poorly on him. Not to mention how pissed off everyone will be if they actually succeed in canceling the dance. They won’t, but a girl can dream. What’s more, the Chasitys are fairly powerful members of the community and crossing them by suddenly ditching their daughter when she promised to help her is also going to make him look bad. It’s a lose-lose situation for her father and, therefore, win-win for her. See, she is pretty damn smart, no matter what he says.

Grace eyes her suspiciously. “You want to help? You? Why the sudden change of heart?”

Shit, how is she going to explain it? There’s no way Grace is going to believe she suddenly saw the light and became a prude overnight.

“I, just, uh, realized I wasn’t being very open-minded to your worldview. Think of it as a gesture of goodwill. Besides, we’re friends, right? Comrades. Classmates. Nighthawks. And Nighthawks gotta stick together, so if canceling the dance is really all that important to you, then what the hell- heck! I mean heck! I’ll help you out.”

“Well, it has been pretty lonely trying to do it all by myself,” Grace admits, “alright, I guess you can join.”

Stacy and Brenda have been watching this play out, periodically turning to each other to exchange bewildered looks. They only become more confused when Stephanie asks them to sign the petition, too. Brenda shrugs and accepts the pen, writing down her name in perfectly neat cursive. She’s stoked for the homecoming game and pep rally, but she couldn’t care less about the dance right now. It’s been two weeks since Max almost died or whatever and promised to stop bossing everybody around, meaning there’s nothing stopping Kyle from asking her out. So why hasn’t he? She’s been watching grand, romantic hoco proposals at lunch every single day and slowly losing hope that he has one planned for her. Stacy immediately follows suit. Steph and Brenda signed, so she’s obviously going to. She doesn’t want to be the odd one out.

“Wow, three signatures! That’s more than I’ve gotten the entire time I’ve been doing this! Steph, you’re incredible!” The way Grace’s face lights up is almost endearing and Stephanie has to admit that it’s nice to get some praise and recognition for once.

“Oh, we’re just getting started,” Steph replies with a faint, mischievous smirk.

Before they part ways to head to their next class, Stephanie finds herself agreeing to go to Grace’s after school. Apparently, if she’s serious about this, she needs her own sign to carry around.

“It’ll be fun, Steph,” Grace insists “think of it like arts and crafts!”

“My favorite,” Stephanie says flatly as they load Grace’s pink Schwinn into the backseat of her car.

It turns out that the Chasity household is all the way across town. Grace must be surprisingly athletic if she makes that commute on her bike twice a day. It sits in a cul de sac lined with near-identical two-story houses, complete with perfectly maintained green lawns and white picket fences. It’s exactly how Stephanie would have pictured it. At least it is until they go upstairs to Grace’s bedroom and she sees that the door’s been removed from his hinges.

“I know open floor plans are trendy right now, but this seems like overkill,” she says “why do you just, like, straight up not have a bedroom door?”

“Oh, I’m not allowed to,” Grace says as if it’s the most normal thing in the world “my parents are worried I might get up to some inappropriate activities unsupervised.”

“Inappropriate? You?” Steph says “what, are they afraid you’re gonna stay up until eight forty-five instead of eight thirty doing bible study?”

The joke is lost on Grace.

“No, Steph, really bad stuff! Like…” she pauses and looks around as if to make sure they’re alone, then lowers her voice to a whisper “…reading lewd magazines or touching myself.”

This explains a lot about Grace. Despite herself, Stephanie can’t help but feel bad for her. Along with that comes a slight, unexpected sense of kinship. She knows a thing or two about overly controlling parents. Sure, Solomon ignores her ninety percent of the time, but the ten percent he doesn’t, he’s always on her ass about something she should be doing or shouldn’t be doing or needs to be doing differently.

Grace’s small bedroom is immaculately clean and organized. It consists of a twin-sized bed in the corner with a pastel pink and blue quilt, a small desk and a largely empty bookshelf lined with only a small handful of church-approved reading material. Stephanie’s eyes are drawn to the figure of Jesus on the crucifix hanging on the door.

“What’s with the sweater?” she asks “is that some kind of obscure biblical reference I don’t get?”

“Oh, no,” Grace replies “I just knitted that for him ‘cause I think he needs to cover up. I get that he died for our sins, but he doesn’t need to have his nips out to do it.”

Stephanie stifles a laugh as they settle down on the floor with their posterboard and Grace’s impressive collection of colorful markers and get to work on her sign. To make things more interesting, she challenges herself to come up with the worst possible slogan and get Grace to approve it.

“Oh, I’ve got it,” she says, snapping her fingers “how about ‘homecoming? More like hell going.’”

“I like that,” says Grace “it really gets the point across. You’re pretty smart, Steph.” If her eyes water at that, it’s just allergies. Despite the cleanliness of the room, Grace must have forgotten to dust it recently. Yeah. That’s it.

Stephanie doesn’t get much sleep that night. With no Twitter fights to distract her, she simply stares at the ceiling until two in the morning thinking about the surprising amount of fun she had hanging out with Grace today and the glance she got into Grace’s home life that awakened a new sense of sympathy for the school snitch. Given how ludicrously strict the Chasitys seem to be, her existence is probably totally devoid of typical teenage mischief. She probably hasn’t so much as snuck out for a late-night convenience store run. It’ll take some convincing, but maybe Steph can change that.

God, who is she? Why is she lying here actually thinking about willingly spending time with Grace? The lack of screen time must be messing with her head. She always thought getting off of that cesspool of an app would improve her brain function, but apparently not. She needs her phone back, pronto. She just has to survive the next couple weeks first.

The second she wakes up, Stephanie realizes she’s going to fall asleep in class without the help of caffeine. She stops off at that singing coffee shop and gets her usual, a black americano with seven shots. She’s not sure they’re even legally allowed to serve that much caffeine in one drink, but they always indulge her. Being the mayor’s daughter does have its perks. On a whim, she decides to get an herbal peach tea for Grace. She double checks that it’s caffeine free and watches the barista vigilantly to make sure she doesn’t spit in it as it’s rumored they sometimes do here. It’s not like she wants to, but they agreed to touch base before class and it would be rude not to bring her anything. Solomon may be a shitty dad, but he raised her to have manners, damnit.

Grace is waiting for her on the steps in front of the school and accepts the tea almost cautiously, tentatively taking a sip once Stephanie reassures her that it doesn’t contain what she refers to as a gateway drug. Stephanie actually googled it once to try and prove her wrong and learned that caffeine is, in fact, technically a drug, even if she still doesn’t believe it’s a slippery slope to smoking “the devil’s lettuce” like Grace insists it is. No wonder she gets headaches when she doesn’t drink her seven shot americano. Huh, Grace might almost have a point.

“Oh, that’s really good,” she says brightly “I usually just drink plain hot water, but this is way better. I think it might be my new favorite. Thanks, Steph!”

Stephanie decides not to wonder why she’s so pleased that Grace liked it or why her heart flutters a little at the thought that it’s Grace’s new favorite. Maybe it’ll become her go-to order and she’ll think of Stephanie every time she drinks it.

“Alright, we’ve got like ten minutes before classes start, let’s get this show on the road,” Steph says. She sets her sights on a couple nerds climbing up the steps, engaged in a conversation about some TV show about a time traveling doctor.

“Hey,” she says “Rita! TJ!”

“It’s, uh, it’s Reese and PJ,” the one with the pigtails and the glasses says nervously. They both look a little terrified of her, which makes sense. She does run with the jocks and cheerleaders who were probably picking on them until recently.

“Right,” she says, trying to emulate her father’s constituent charming smile “say, you don’t want your tax dollars funding a school-sanctioned fuckfest, do you?”

“Steph! Language,” Grace scolds her.

“Uh,” Reese replies, clearly distressed and confused.

“We’re high schoolers,” says PJ, equally uncertain “I mean, I have, like, a part-time job at the bookstore, so I guess I’m technically a taxpayer? Look, is this some new type of bullying? Because it’s making me really uncomfortable, I’d honestly rather you just gave me a swirly and got it over with.”

“PJ!” Reese says “speak for yourself! I don’t want a swirly. I’ll take the weird experimental bullying.”

“Oh, perish the thought! It’s not bullying. We’re out here trying to save souls,” Stephanie says dramatically “as a wise woman once said, homecoming is just an excuse to dry hump in the gym. We can’t allow that such depravity and debauchery to take place. Not at our school. Sign this petition to keep the hallways free of sin and the gym floor free of spunk.” She’s actually having a blast hamming it up like this. Maybe she should look into drama club. She turns to look at Grace, who’s positively beaming and giving her two thumbs up.

“If we, uh, if we sign your petition, will you leave us alone?” PJ asks, shrinking back from Stephanie and hiding behind Reese.

“Deal,” Steph says, already handing her the glitter gel pen. She and Reese hastily sign and book it to get away from her.

It gets better from there. She catches Brad Callahan in the hallway and harasses him to sign, too. When he refuses on the grounds that Sarah Peterson agreed to go with him and they’re “totally going to get to third base”, she gets to channel her inner Grace and tell him he’s going to burn in hell. If there is an afterlife similar to what’s posited in the bible, she honestly does believe he will, but for entirely different reasons.

“Have fun letting the devil lick your skin clean off with his sandpaper tongue,” she calls after him. God, that was cathartic.

By the end of the week, half the school is thoroughly annoyed by her and Grace’s proselytizing and the other half have, by some miracle, actually agreed to sign that damn petition. Every day, she comes up with another excuse (reason. They’re valid reasons) to hang out with Grace after school. They have to make new flyers to hand out. They have to make pamphlets to educate people on the safety hazard of bodily fluids on the gym floor. Now that they’re getting serious traction, they have to discuss how to bring the petition to the principal and then, potentially, the school board.

It was only a matter of time before Solomon caught wind of all this and confronted her. She gets home from drafting their proposal for principal Blim to find him waiting up for her in the living room, a scowl on his face. It gives her slight deja vu for the day her precious smartphone was taken from her.

“Well, if it isn’t my October surprise.”

“Oh, hi, Dad. To what do I owe the pleasure?” she says mockingly.

“Don’t get cute with me,” he says “care to explain why I’m getting phone calls from your school about you trying to cancel the homecoming dance and yelling at your classmates about ‘spunk’?”

“You were the one who told me to round out my extracurriculars,” she replies with a smug grin “I’m helping Grace Chasity with her campaign. Haven’t you heard? Homecoming is just a disgusting excuse to dry hump in the gym.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Stephanie, I meant a real extracurricular. Volleyball! German club! Yearbook! Anything but whatever the hell this is!”

“What’s the big deal?” she says “you were so worried what people would think of my nocturnal activities when that rumor started going around and now it’s not an issue anymore. Everyone knows I’m strictly anti-sex.”

“Well, you’re going to knock it off this instant if you don’t want me to smash your phone with a hammer for real.”

“Okay. Done,” she says, pausing for effect before grinning evilly and adding, “oh, you know what. I just thought of something. The Chasitys are a pretty big deal in the community, huh? Pretty important in the church. They’re not going to be too happy with me if I ditch their daughter and leave her out to dry when I promised I’d help her, are they?”

Solomon throws his hands up and lets out an exasperated groan.

“You’re killing me, Stephanie!” he says “you’re killing me with what you’re doing!”

“If only, Dad. If only,” she says quietly, still smirking as he retreats to his study.

Grace climbs out of bed and stretches, feeling slightly groggy from sleeping in an extra half hour. Steph’s giving her a ride today, meaning she didn’t have to get up quite so early to give herself time to bike to school. She usually doesn’t mind it - she likes getting the fresh air and the way it quiets her usually racing mind - but it’s pouring rain today and she’d much rather be inside a warm, dry car. Steph’s company doesn’t hurt, either. She knows their relationship is strictly business, but she’s been having fun with Steph and she’s starting to think of her as an actual friend. She wonders if Steph feels the same way. She’s never had many friends before, so it’s hard to tell. She gets dressed, brushes her teeth, washes her face and even puts on some of that moisturizer Steph gave her to try when she complained about her dry skin. She goes downstairs and toasts up two blueberry bagels, spreading cream cheese onto them and placing one neatly into a Tupperware container for Steph. She always oversleeps and misses breakfast, so Grace has been trying to bring her something reasonably nutritious every day. It’s the least she can do with how much Steph has helped her recently.

Stephanie pulls up in front of her house and she climbs into the car, immediately relaxed by the feeling of the heat blasting and the sound of soft jazz playing on the stereo.

“I like the music,” Grace comments.

“Yeah, I thought it’d fit the cozy rainy day vibes,” says Steph.

“It is cozy,” Grace agrees.

“So, two hundred signatures, huh?” Steph says “did you ever think you’d get that far?”

“No,” says Grace “not in my wildest dreams. I never could have done it on my own. I’m nowhere near as convincing as you. If you can believe it, a lot of people say I come on a little strong.”

“What? No way!” Stephanie says in a lighthearted, teasing manner. “Maybe you do, but that’s not always a bad thing,” she adds after a moment with a rare fond, sincere smile.

The heat must be turned up a little too high, because Grace can feel her face flushing. They arrive at school and as Stephanie reaches into the backseat to grab her bag, Grace wonders what it would be like to lean in and kiss her. How soft her lips would be and whether she’d taste bitter from all that coffee she slams. Oh, heck. Oh, no.

She shoves that thought deep down into the recesses of her mind where it belongs. She tells Steph they should divide and conquer instead of sticking together today, claiming it’s because they’re running out of time and they need to cover as much ground as possible. She isn’t sure, but she could swear Steph looks a little sad. Despite her efforts, her mind keeps wandering back to that moment in the car as she traverses the hallway trying to collect more signatures at lunch. She’d give anything for some kind of distraction right now. Well, ask and you shall receive, as they say. Max approaches and, as usual, he brightens up when he sees her.

“Hey, Grace,” he says cheerfully, absolutely enraptured by her “what are you doin’?”

“Hi, Max,” she says absently, too wrapped up in her current crisis to scold him for leering at her like that “getting the dance canceled, same as usual.”

“Where are you headed? Maybe I could, uh, carry your books for you? If you want. No pressure. Or we could just walk together,” he says with a bright, hopeful smile.

“Max, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, we’re way too young for that! Besides, if you don’t change your ways, you’re already hellbound. You don’t need to make things worse for yourself by associating with a sinner like me.”

Max furrows his brow in genuine confusion. “What are you talking about? You’re, like, the biggest prude in school.”

She feels tears pricking at her eyes. “That’s really sweet of you to say, Max, but you don’t understand. I think I like someone. Like, like-like them.”

“Is it me?” he asks, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks. She gives him an incredulous look.

“No,” she says. His face falls slightly, but there’s no time to dwell on his disappointment now. Who the hell is this guy, anyway? He’s going to kick his ass- wait, no. No, he’s not. Grace is her own person and she’s allowed to go out with whoever she wants. It’s not this mystery dude’s fault if she likes him and not Max.

“That’s the thing,” she continues, “that someone’s a girl, too!”

The tears flow freely now and she begins to sob quietly. Max’s eyes go wide and he freezes up like a deer in headlights. He has no idea how to handle this. Until recently, he made people cry on a near daily basis, usually deliberately. Getting them to stop crying, on the other hand, is uncharted territory.

“Aw, Grace, c’mon, don’t cry,” he starts. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t do much. “I’ll sign your petition! I’ll make everybody sign your petition! How’s that sound? No homecoming! No spunk on the gym floor!” When she doesn’t even respond to that, he knows it’s serious. “Lots of people like girls. I like girls! Who doesn’t? They’re great.”

She sniffles. “Yeah, b-but you’re a boy. You’re supposed to!”

He pauses. “Well, I don’t bring it up a lot, but I like guys, too. See, you’re not alone. We’re, like, uh, what’s the phrase? Like two peas in a pod,” he says, trying to sound gentle and reassuring, which is also uncharted territory for him. She pauses and looks at him for a second.

“Oh, gosh,” she says and starts bawling even harder. He winces and realizes he’s in way over his head. It’s time to message Ruth and Richie for backup.

Grace is crying, plz help

He receives a string of incredibly graphic threats and knife emojis from both of them in response and adds, I swear I didn’t do it!! At least not on purpose!!

Yeah well there’s a difference between intent and impact bitch. Smh have you already forgotten the anti bullying assembly??? Richie replies but yeah meet us in the AV classroom, it’s empty rn

He leads Grace there and Ruth and Richie await them. She sniffles and takes a seat. Ruth hands her a water bottle and Richie gives her a small pack of tissues. He always carries some around to dab the sweat from his forehead. It’s not like they’re very useful for him, anyway. They usually end up disintegrating from becoming so soaked.

“You wanna tell us what’s wrong, Grace?” Richie asks.

She tugs at the sleeve of Max’s letterman, looking at him with red, puffy eyes. His chest tightens. It’s hard to see her like this, so sad and scared and drained. His face forms a puzzled expression as he tries to figure out what she’s trying to communicate until he finally realizes.

“Oh,” he says “you want me to tell ‘em?” She nods, still dabbing at her eyes with the tissues. “She’s sad ‘cause she likes a girl. But there’s nothing wrong with that, right? Who doesn’t like girls?”

“Uh, me,” says Richie.

“Oh, right, sorry, Richie,” Max corrects himself, looking a little sheepish.

“Preach!” says Ruth, raising her hand to high five Max. He enthusiastically returns it. “If girls loving girls is wrong, then I don’t want to be right! See, Grace, you’re not alone. You’re just like me. Two peas in a pod!”

Grace buries her face in her hands and starts bawling again.

He looks at Ruth and Richie with slight indignation.

“See,” he says “it’s not so easy, is it?” His point made, he turns to watch Grace helplessly. Grace, who was the mastermind behind the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for him, even if he did later find out that it was an admittedly well deserved revenge prank. Grace, who didn’t have to be his friend and probably shouldn’t even be giving him the time of day after the way he treated her, but still does anyway. Grace, who’s usually so opinionated and snarky and passionate, always fired up about something and never shy about it, regardless of what other people think.

He’s been learning to accept that he can’t control every little thing. That trying to have power over everything and everybody was deeply unhealthy and all it really accomplished apart from a fleeting power trip was making everybody miserable and secretly resentful of him. It’s hard letting go, but it’s also been liberating. The powerlessness he feels right now is crushing, though. There’s nothing freeing about it. He can’t stand sitting here watching his friend break down because she thinks that some fundamental part of herself is wrong. He wants to fight the people who made her feel this way, but he suspects that particular list is too extensive for him to work his way through. What good would it do now, anyway? Maybe it’s finally time to take the advice of the exhausted, overworked second grade teacher who was definitely not paid enough to put up with all of his shit and use his words instead of hitting. Better late than never, as they say.

“Grace,” he says gently, not even sure where he’s going with this, but unable to stand the silence anymore “we’re, uh, we’re here for you, alright? It’s gonna be okay.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about! No it’s not,” she cries in a strained, hoarse voice “even if it’s true that there’s nothing wrong with liking girls, my parents sure don’t think so! What’s gonna happen to me if they find out? They’ll probably make me go live at abstinence camp with the Jerries for the rest of my life!”

“Well, we’re eighteen, right?” says Ruth “they can’t make you.”

“And if they try, you’ll just come live with me instead,” says Richie “uncle Paul would be more than cool with it. He loves you. He says you’re a good influence because you don’t let me blow off my homework to watch anime and you make me go to bed before three in the morning.”

“Well, you need your eight hours,” she says with a soft and sincere, but tired smile “thanks, guys. That does make me feel a little better.” She tentatively pulls Richie into a hug, not caring about the stench or how damp he is. Ruth, of course, eagerly joins in, not about to miss the opportunity for human contact. Max stays put and looks at them with hesitation, not sure if they want him to join.

“What are you doing, Max?” says Grace “get in here.” Well, that answers his question. He still holds back, watching Ruth and Richie for their reactions.

“It’s only fair,” says Richie with a smirk “you did make her cry.” He scowls, but there’s no real malice behind it. He comes over and wraps his arms around them tight.

With Grace sufficiently cheered up, there’s still one question on everyone’s minds.

“So, who’s the lucky lady?” says Ruth “wait, it’s not me, is it?”

“What? No,” she says, her signature snark finally making a comeback.

“It’s okay, Ruth. I got shot down, too,” says Max “two peas in a pod!” They high five again.

“It’s Steph,” she finally admits.

“Makes sense,” says Richie “she is waifu material.” Ruth nods in agreement.

“Waifu material?” Max asks, furrowing his brow in confusion again. Richie places a hand on each of his shoulders and looks at him with an intense, solemn expression.

“I have much to teach you,” he says “come over after football practice, we’re watching all the classics. We’ll start you off with Ouran, I feel like it’s pretty approachable for a beginner.”

Ruth grabs his arm. “What? No fair, I still haven’t gotten to show him Star Wars. Come over to mine, Max, we’re watching the prequels.”

“The prequels, Ruth? Seriously? As if subjecting him to the trilogy isn’t bad enough.”

“Well, what do you know, you won’t even sit through one episode of Clone Wars with me!”

As they continue to bicker, a warmth blooms in his chest. They actually want to spend time with him to the point of arguing over who gets to. They want to be around him when they don’t have to. They like him. They’re not just sticking around out of fear. They trust him enough to invite him into their homes. To ask him to share in the nerdy interests he used to make fun of them for. He smiles softly and pulls them into another hug.

“We can do both,” he says.

“Ugh, fine,” Richie huffs, but a reluctant smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Hey, Grace, you want to join us?” Max asks “oh, we should invite Steph and Pete, too!”

“Oh, I appreciate the invite, but I have my bible study group tonight.” That much is true. She is supposed to meet up with Mary, Gabe and Noah later to study scripture. She’s not sure she can face them after her realization today, but if she skips, her parents are sure to hear about it. Besides that, the alternative of joining them for their movie night and facing Peter is only slightly less daunting. It’s obvious that he like-likes Steph, too. She’s worried it’s going to make things awkward between them. What if Steph likes her and not Peter and he ends up getting hurt? What if Steph likes Peter and not Grace and she has to watch them hold hands and make eyes at each other and stuff down her heartbreak and pretend she never wanted any of those things?

#npmd #nerdy prudes must die #grace chasity #stephanie lauter #lautity #stephgrace #hatchetfield fanfic #max jagerman #cw homophobia #Ruth and Richie make an appearance but not enough to tag them #Pete is mentioned

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gravidasomnia · 7 months

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A text post for a change! tldr: There's some technical details re: Dayspa Squad which spills into discussion of the software & hardware used, and a few other thoughts. Group pics are difficult with the limitations of the AI I'm using (SD 1.5, sdxl is better but my budget gaming laptop can't run it the way I use 1.5 without overheating), and people have noted that they often look like a row of clones. So this time (and last) I've found a suitable txt2img generation (top left) then re-run it through img2img and added variations in the prompt to produce different, still very similar looking groups, with many typical AI pic problems e.g. too many/not enough fingers & hands:

but from that I'll use Krita + the clone tool aligned to each pic and take parts of each that seem apt; hopefully between all the iterations there's enough non-freaky hands and other parts to go around!

You can see I haven't done a perfect job - especially with the 2nd woman from the left's dressing gown and hand, and the breasts still look cloned. Such flaws and others are much less noticeable on IG with it's limited image resolution and most users having a small screen experience. My excuse is that the milestone came up sooner than expected and I rushed it (I only started after noticing I'd hit 8,995 followers and it took about 20 minutes all up, a few minutes before I hit 9k). But a little more time and scrutiny and even running a couple more iterations could have gone a long way. Photoshop could just regenerate individual elements if you want it to but I'm not a pro user and can't justify the expense (such functionality wouldn't be available to unlicenced users). I'm more familiar with GIMP but I prefer Krita for simple clone tool operations because it loads quicker and the default brush is perfect for how I use it + the smart patch tool is also handy. I could also use the SD plugin within Krita/GIMP for similar functionality but I found the interface too clunky so I prefer to work manually for this sort of thing. This method is the sort of thing I'd use earlier on to fix weirdness like mutant hands, multiple weird bellybuttons and other AI body horror. Or to get a striking individual image juuuust right, like this one or this one. Nowadays the raw outputs are often realistic enough that simple touchups can take care of aberrations. We're not far off having an app that laypeople can use that will make pics like this without a need for editing - but for now I'm happy in this niche. Assets Used (All software free for personal use, mostly free for commercial use):

Software: Stability Matrix with the Automatic1111 WebUI Krita (has a learning curve but so does PS, amazing functionality that I've barely made use of because I'm not an actual artist) Irfanview (free for personal use but I've licensed it so I can use it for work if needed, totally worth it) AI Checkpoints/Loras/Embeddings: Photosomnia Omega (my SD1.5 photorealism model blend) Pregmix 2 Lora (will update eventually but it's not available yet, for now try Pregmix 1 or other pregnancy Loras on civitAI) FreeU/FreeU webUI plugin Negative photorealism embeddings used to help a lot but I don't need them so much now due to how far the model and Lora has come. They still deserve a mention as they have been very useful and will continue to be so with a variety of models: fcneg kkw-ph1-neg Bad_NegAnatomy Hardware: 2nd hand laptop with an i7, 16gb ram, 1G SSD, and 8gb rtx graphics. 4gb nvidia GTX graphics is considered the bare minimum but an RTX with 8gb is gonna be the minimum practical for working with HD resolutions & SDXL. Cheaper laptops will struggle with heat management, PCs will hit your power bills. Radeon graphics can technically work, they're good for people who love fucking around with linux because things aren't working and want to apply that approach to AI artgen software. If you don't enjoy that sort of frustration don't bother. Apple isn't supported for Stability Matrix yet but apparently many implementations of SD will work on a Macbook Pro with the M1/M2 chip and preferably at least 16gb of ram. Draw Things will run on an newish iphone/ipad but I found it too clunky to use for serious pics and it's not practical for high resolution work. While reflecting on the artistic mediocrity of this otherwise pleasing pic, a paraphrase of T.K. crossed my mind, namely that the AI revolution has been an utter disaster for human art. It does have a place alongside real art but as an example I hate seeing AI garbage in advertisements knowing that it's not only deceptive garbage that pretends to be something it's not AND it's also more lost payments for working artists/photographers/models. But I also think that fake erotica photos people make for themselves or share freely are outside of that problem, as long as they don't depict actual identifiable persons. I will not do fakes without consent, maybe everyone has their price but mine hasn't even come close to being reached, which I'll admit isn't possible without some level of privilege.

I'd like to not be judgmental of people who do make AI fakes for $ but otoh AI users must have some level of privilege to be able to access and use the technology. What I have seen with technology and other things is that irresponsible use is likely to be met with irresponsible regulation and I do wonder (not worry) how much longer blogs like this will be legal. Anyway for now just enjoy the pics! There will be more to enjoy soon. If you've bothered to scroll through thanks for reading and thanks for being a fan!

#ai art #I guess this is a mini AI tutorial of sorts #AI art assets #Infopost #AI Assets

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penultimate-step · 2 months

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Oshi no Ko 143 Reaction

This was a fun chapter. Ruby getting aggressive finally forcing Aqua to stop ignoring the problems in their relationship that have been simmering for 20 chaps now and actually have a conversation that puts it all out in the open. They're mostly saying stuff I predicted in advance, but some of it took me by surprise.

One bit that made me stand up and !!! was this page:

I thought I was doing something interesting when I compared Ruby's feelings towards Gorou to Aqua's feelings about Ai in my last two analyses but she just came out and said it directly on page, haha. I feel pretty validated.

I still stand behind most of what I wrote last week after this chapter. Ruby is desperately trying to make this a romance, but her best pitch is "I care about you in the same way we cared about idols in our past lives. Parasocially and without regard for the actual person, because I need to put somebody on an idealized pedestal or else I'll kill myself. This is what romance is, right?" Girl with so so so many issues, I love her.

The one thing that did really take me by surprise was the bit where she listed off Aqua's flaws as a person. In the past I assumed that Ruby was intentionally ignoring these flaws and making up a version of Aqua that didn't exist in her head. The way in her mind he's drawn like a romance hero and how she makes excuses for all the things she took issue with before lead me to believe she was intentionally distancing "Gorou, her idol" from "Aqua, the person, her brother" in her head. I'm not sure how to square this knowledge with the way she is (textually, now!) putting him on a pedestal. If I had to guess, I would think she actually is aware of who Aqua is as a person - she was friends with him as Gorou before and siblings for 18 years, she should know him better than anybody - but is intentionally separating this knowledge from the figure she is idolizing, because she needs to keep ahold of something for her mental stability.

I'm reminded of an analysis post of OnK ep 1 I read on tumblr almost a year ago, I forget who posted it so I can't properly credit it but it's not my own thoughts. (if anybody else remembers it please let me know so I can link it!) They contrasted Gorou's parasocial fan relationship with Ai to Ryosuke, the stalker who killed him: both put were fans of Ai, the Idol, but when confronted with the reality that she was more than an idol, that she had relationships and would have children, Gorou decided that the health and happiness of Ai the person was more important than his image of Ai the Idol, and did his best as a doctor to help her, while Ryosuke's reaction to having his image of the Idol shattered was to try and destroy Ai the person. The analysis put forth the idea that this was contrasting healthy vs unhealthy methods of being a fan - that there's nothing wrong with being a fan of someone, necessarily, but you have to keep in mind that you aren't entitled to anything about them, and there's always a real person underneath the performance.

I didn't fully agree with it - in my post about how the series portrays different kinds of love I talked about how it came down very harshly on dishonest and idolizing love - but I did think it was very interesting (obviously as I still remember it almost a year later). Anyway Ruby's approach to Aqua this chapter made me think of that a lot. She makes a big deal out of how Aqua is her idol, their relationship is idol/fan, and she can ignore all his flaws - but at the same time she points out that she does actually know what those flaws are. It puts her in something of a strange position. What would she do if her image of The Doctor, Her Idol, no longer existed, and she was left with just Aqua? Would she care for the person, or be mad at losing the illusion? According to this chapter she fits into neither of those, she chooses to pretend that the illusion still exists even while staring directly at the reality. Ruby seems aware that she is essentially using the idea of the doctor as a coping mechanism, but doesn't want to admit that this desire is directly in tension with the idea about caring about Aqua as a person, romantically or otherwise.

As for Aqua, it's great that he's finally being a little honest with his emotions and feelings after so long, to the one person who is really able to understand the context.

However, I think he's still holding a lot back, especially in the latter half of the chapter, because there are things he doesn't feel that he can say to Ruby, specifically about their relationship. He seems hesitant to directly tell Ruby that he can't be her lover or her idol, he can only be himself - even when he tries to tell her that he can't be the person he was she just brushes it off - and I think with how Ruby's mental health is holding on by a thread he is unwilling to do anything to jeopardize it, even if it means accepting the spot on her pedestal.

My read of the relationship between Gorou and Sarina 22 years ago was that they were genuine friends at the time. Regardless of difference in age and position they were both socially isolated people who found one person they felt they could be honest and open with. This makes their current relationship even sadder - Ruby has twisted the memory of their old friendship into dreams of romance and idolatry to fuel the desire to live one more day. Aqua, who in his last life would have been willing to do almost anything to get her to keep living, is forced to cut away his own relationship to her, both last life friend and current life brother, because being dishonest - being an idol - is the only way he can see to keep her alive and healthy. Both have already cut away most of their other bonds for the sake of the revenge plan, and now they can't even be fully honest with each other. Very tragic stuff.

All in all I really really liked this chapter. The interactions between Ruby and Aqua has always been multiple layers of relationships and mindsets existing on top of one another, and that just makes it super interesting for me. I love it whenever that leads to character tension. They've been friends and siblings and idols and all of that has to coexist, its a very unique kind of character writing that Oshi no Ko does well and I don't see very often and makes me care for the series a lot. I think I have a much more positive view of this arc than most of the fandom because the trainwreck of their relationship is one of the series highlights to me, so chapters like this, where exactly how bad their mindsets have gotten are placed as the main focus, are some of my favorite story beats.

I know there's a lot of negativity about this chap but I'm having a good time over here in my corner. Not sure if it's because I've been letting my thoughts about the series out in posts a lot more recently or because I liked this specific chapter a lot but this is definitely most I've been invested in the series for a while now. I think I was letting the Discourse kind of sour things for me and now I have mentally exorcised it from my mind.

#oshi no ko #oshi no ko spoilers #step.animanga #step.live

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givehimthemedicine · 6 months

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🛁💧 Moms, bathtubs and fear of water

today I'd like to dig into some support for the Virginia/Henry/bathtub theory, most notably a Will/Henry parallel I've not seen discussed before, and some thoughts on the rabies thing.

for those just tuning in, we have hints that something awful happened involving Virginia, Henry, and a bathtub of hot water. (that idea is aemiron-main's, you can read the original here)

where there's a tub, there's a mom

let me start by seeing how many ST bathtubs can be tied to mothers. (much of this will have been pointed out before, but I have a couple observations I think are new)

starting at the top: Virginia's vision (turning on the hot water tap and spiders fill the tub instead of water):

Karen soaking in a hot bath listening to "Memories" before milfing it up with Billy, a minor, a boy her daughter's age. check

Will and Joyce "he likes it cold" you better believe that's a paddlin

we saw the Byers' tub before. when El saw it in the mirror (lol) and went to tell Joyce (Will's Mother) about her water tank idea. ok she was addressing the group but Joyce is the one who actually engages. I'm counting it. ps when they do set up the bath for El, Lucas uses a thermometer to make sure the water is the right temperature

this is a tiny one, but Nancy goes to sit on the tub and cry after excusing herself from Barb's mom at the KFC dinner.

that scene where El and Max find Billy's tub with ice bags?

darn, nothing immediately motherly in this scene. but what if we check the last dialogue in the prior scene? or the first dialogue in the following scene?

both hits! mom/age-inappropriate-sexual-knowledge + mother/son combo.💀

next up, FOR WHAT REASON was I made to see Murray get naked and get into a tub full of ice while on the phone with Joyce in 4x01?

let's also toss in a shot of Joyce being weird in her front yard, prompting a neighbor child to dispense a line of dialogue involving mothers.

but seriously. after all the flayed/ice tub imagery throughout s3, why kick off s4 with Murray in an ice bath? no, I'm really asking.

we've got a dash of sexual inappropriateness, or so Joyce thinks - Murray happens to plop into the ice at the exact moment that she observes the Russian doll has nipples, which makes her think his reaction is about that:

the only tub scene I'm struggling to tie super directly to mothers is Heather. you could say it's that Joyce appears in the next scene, but that's weak. or that Flayed Heather later drugs/kidnaps her mom. eh.

as em pointed out, the tub Heather's in here is extremely similar to Virginia Creel's. is that sufficient?

so anyway, some of those are def stronger than others, but they all provide some combination of: mothers, bathtubs (esp with attention drawn to water temperature), and fear/ sorrow / discomfort / sexual inappropriateness.

am I forgetting any other bathtubs?

now let's talk more about fear

what started me on this post was how possessed-Will's reaction to the bathtub is so explicitly labeled as fear - NOT by Will, but by Mr. Clarke's voiceover:

yet what sparked One's strength was a memory that made him "sad, but also angry" - which, if the implied tub incident indeed happened, would totally fit the bill.

sad and angry. not afraid. I guess it makes sense that fear isn't one of the emotions he would draw power from later upon recalling this event, but he undoubtedly would've been afraid in the moment. he didn't say that though.

not in that scene.

now, idk if he's referring to The Incident here, or his early lab life or what, but. oh I'm at my image limit. ok well his lines leading up to this are (close up of dead kids) "why do you cry for them, Eleven? after everything they did to you? you think you need them, but you don't. you don't."

why exactly would El "need" the other lab kids? according to NINA, they treated her poorly. tbh kinda sounds more like a projected reaction to the death of an abusive mother.

anyway. apart from that "I was scared once" reference to some past turning point, man will not say he is or was scared. he'll imply and project but he won't say it:

you know who else won't say they're scared? Will.

Will has never said once on the entire show that he's afraid. ever. throughout all the utterly HORRIFYING situations he's been in. he undoubtedly has been scared, and other characters say that about him many times, but Will has never said, in his own words, as far as I can find, that he's afraid.

he dances around it and veils it and teeters on the edge of it, but he will not actually say I Am Afraid.

"how did you feel?" "it felt like when you're scared" boy what.

but Will has not always been fearless!

wanna know what the very first mention of fear on the whole show is? Will assuring Joyce he won't have nightmares from seeing Poltergeist because:

is it not giving "I was scared once too" ?

now here comes my favorite part:

Joyce replies with the "my witch" thing, and she doesn't actually finish the sentence, but I think that last word can be guessed pretty accurately:

cook him up in your what?

your cauldron? cauldron, kôl′drən, noun: 1. A large vessel used for boiling?

so like... have I got this straight? our earliest flashback of Will involves his mother playing an evil character who's gonna put him in a large vessel of hot liquid?

I ask you again: is it not giving "I was scared once too"?

I'm tacking my red conspiracy yarn in at "Henry was five years old."

now, just wondering, what was the turning point that made Will stop having nightmares from movies and "getting scared like that"? Bob_one_day_the_nightmares_suddenly_stopped.wav

now let's talk about rabies

Robin proceeds to list some rabies symptoms and what's funny about that (besides the fact they're standing in a mysteriously dry lakebed) is she left out possibly the best-known symptom: fear of water.

in fact, rabies used to be called hydrophobia ("fear of water").

hydrophobia in rabies stems from paralysis of throat muscles making it difficult or impossible to swallow, and so sufferers will panic at the prospect of drinking or even the mere sight of water. excessive salivation + inability to swallow it leads to the other pop culture rabies symptom, the appearance of "foaming at the mouth".

pretend here I put in screenshots of El and Barb spitting up water when they wake up in the UD and that unnecessary shot of Billy drooling when El is levitating him

Robin's isn't the only reference to rabies on ST. it's come up in two other seasons:

so every time rabies comes up, it's in reference to demodogs, demobats, and flayed rats. all critters that are part of the hive.

ostensibly controlled by one guy, who is afraid of water.

misc honorable mentions:

what do you wanna bet Dart not only doesn't need water, but would hate water like he hates heat?

Dart grew up to be a demodog, and demodogs dug those tunnels - the ones Bob figured out were a map of Hawkins because the "roads" outlined recognizable bodies of water instead of crossing over them.

when Bob said that, he didn't know the "roads" were underground, and therefore it wouldn't be crossing over water but rather crossing through water. if your tunnel breached a lake or river, it would flood. the demodogs were avoiding water.

also: no one in the water, you say?

speaking of Hawkins Pool, there's also the thing I've mentioned before, how it seems incredibly relevant that One chose Billy as his s3 host - a lifeguard whose one possession-busting happy memory involved his mother warning him not to drown.

also: Hopper saying that jumping into the quarry would result in the water "breaking every damn bone in your body"

and Jason asks Patrick, right before Vecna breaks every damn bone in his body in Lovers Lake:

I'm going to think of more as soon as I hit post but that's all I have for you today.

I want real answers on the Murray ice thing btw

#btw in this and any analysis please mentally insert 🥁 any time I use the word 'one'#in disbelief that they've not yet worked the phrase 'getting into hot water' into the show somewhere #analysis #givehimthemedicine analysis #mine #btw what's the water table like in hawkins #where you can dig tunnels right along the perimeter of lakes and it stays dry in there

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ghostflowerhotpotch · 10 months

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Do you think that gwen stacy is trans?

Yes, yes I do.

Now, the last time I talked about this I also mentioned I didn't see a point in making a post about it, because nothing I was going to say was going to be different than what you had probably already seen everywhere else.

That being said-

I had seen SO MANY idiots on the internet, to which I haven't replied (because I am also trans I used to know when or not to bother with people like that,) which had made me want to discuss the matter in my own words, even if I can't truly add anything new to the table.

So, I will probably do the same reasoning everyone else had already said, if anyone is still interested in reading it feel free, if not you can scroll. I will also address some common criticism of the theory.

Before we start the actual arguments, a few things.

No, I don't think if you believe Gwen is cis you are transphobic or something, as long as you are respectful.

I can't say how people see her or not, and while for me the evidence feels obvious, I know unless we have Gwen saying it (or someone close to her at least,) it cannot be sure one way or another. Remember that, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

I am fine if someone doesn't think she is trans, but I do think believing is IMPOSSIBLE for her to be is when you are entering transphobic territory. The reason why I think this is dumb, aside of the evidence; is the fact that if a character doesn't need to say I'm cis at any point to believe so, Gwen shouldn't need to say I'm trans for people to HC her as such or similar.

With that out of the way, let's start.

Going back to this image, we see that Gwen has a flag that says "Protect trans kids." Which to me feels like says a lot.

I had seen people suggest that "Of course she is an ally, she is a hero!" And while I could get Gwen being interested in helping people who face discrimination, since she deals with crime and such; the idea has me cackling more than anything else.

Is not impossible, but seriously, WHEN had you seen an ally with a flag in their room? It feels like an excuse someone who is in the closet would say; allies could have trans stuff or displayed in certain situations, but those situations tend to be in public, you know? Since being an ally means being vocal when you need to; there is really no reason for an Ally to have a trans flag in their room as decoration.

To top it all off, is on top of her door, not a window or anything, is obviously this is more for her than anything else.

George Stacy has a trans flag on his uniform.

This...This a really big deal honestly.

In a vacuum is a small gesture, perhaps if you aren't part of the community you don't get why I think this is amazing. So let me say a couple of things.

He is supporting his trans daughter; maybe is because of my family, or because all of my current trans and non-gender conforming friends have parents who range from shitting to not very supportive in general. So having Gwen be trans, still be a teen, and her dad supporting her? FUCK that means the world to me, even if I think he isn't that good of a dad.

This is in his uniform, this isn't just supporting Gwen in front of her, but also when she isn't around. You would be surprised how many parents say to be supportive but be quiet while hearing about discrimination. This also can lead me to believe he will be supportive when other trans individuals are around.

He is a cop. In real life, I don't feel safe around cops for a multitude of reasons I will not get to because I don't want to get too political here. Regardless, the fact that he is the Police Captain of his department while having this shows that he can be supportive of trans people, is huge.

Now, I know the next piece of evidence has been debated A LOT, especially for people who honestly, have clearly no idea how cinema, animation, or art work at all.

You know? Coding can be so funny at times.

There have been multiple times, when things had been coded on purpose, to the point I thought it was as subtle as a brick hitting your face; and yet I still find people who don't get it and just baffled me to not end.

Examples: Norma in Dead End Paranormal is coded as autistic, but it is never explicitly said on the show, (I think is mentioned in the comics? I know the creator is autistic.) However I never felt it needed to, because Normal has so many signs and hints that I clock her in the first episode, and the representation is so point it feels as if she needed to state she is a woman of color.

Nimona is another example related to the trans experience; seriously almost word for word what Nimona says can be applied to trans people, with the creator also being trans; and yet I was baffled to see some people saw the movie and didn't clock that.

Now, is what Gwen is saying in this scene talking about her experience being Spider-woman? Yes. However, just like Nimona didn't explicitly say she was trans, their entire story revolves around a trans allegory (As well as being likely genderfluid,) feels like is trying to say something.

Not to mention that this is a story, an animated one at that; everything you see on screen was put there by someone and animation tends to have fewer coincidences because you are going to be staring at this screen for a LONG time most probably. It was also noted by the crunch situation (which is again, horrifying and I think Chris Miller needs to find another way to work rather than wasting time and resources like he did,) that the writers had a tendency to tweak to make sure everything was on point; this couldn't have been thrown carelessly.

With all of this preface, Gwen's speech in this section? This could be played WORD BY WORD on a come-out speech.

"And they can only know half of who I am!" -> Having your real gender identity in the closet a lot of times feels like you need to hide half of who you are, from likings to aesthetics to even how you behave socially, it can be a big toll.

"So I'm completely on my own!" -> This is a common sentiment for people who are in the closet without support, because you are carrying all these feelings alone and have no one to understand.

"And now, I don't- I don't even know what the right thing is, anymore!" -> People may be a bit confused about this one, but believe it or not, it happens more often than you think. Should you transition? Should you wait a few years? Should you try to have this conversation with your parents, cousins, etc?

"But I know...I can't lose, one more friend." -> I don't think, I need to talk about how often people aren't supportive of trans individuals. I could talk more about this, but frankly, I don't need to. It happens, even to this day and age, especially in the current political climate.

To top all of this off, the reason why I singling this part (Aside from this speech being as subtle as the Ruby Gillman movie having the antagonist be a parody of Ariel.) Is the background.

The colors are just like a trans flag.

Now, I had seen people suggest that pointing at this is dumb because "that's just an homage to the covers!"

To which I said, no, this is the homage.

And what the background is doing with Gwen in the speech scene is definitely not the same thing.

I find this argument really funny from an artistic point of view, but in case people are wondering why I don't think it counts, let me number a few things.

The covers do this lighting situation OUTSIDE, they normally depict Gwen being around the city on a landscape when things happen, not indoors. This is both the covers and the sky in Gwen's universe. But we don't see indoor places doing this really.

The colors blend, while you can see buildings and windows have their own colours, you can also see them going from orange, to pink and red on the exact same wall.

If you want even more proof of my support, let me show you what the artbook says about this (which includes the covers.)

My point is, even if we try to argue that the covers had something to do; do you think in a movie where they already have Gwen had a trans flag, her dad had a trans patch; would have a moment when the speech mimics exactly the trans experience (or a big chunk for many people,) with the colors in the background being EXACTLY like a trans a flag, with creators and creative that they have STATED, the importance of color in Gwen's world and in Gwen specifically, somehow just choose colors at random at a pivotal moment of the movie?

And I am somehow the crazy one?

Biases

I like to believe I am a fair person, for the most part. Every time I do these analyses I try to be as impartial as possible, and when I know there is a chance my biases and personal opinion will come into hand, I said that much.

As I said before, I am trans, anyone who has seen at least my master post can probably guess I like Gwen. Having a character I dearly love be trans (Even if our situations are wildly different) obviously means the world to me, and perhaps I would have had a similar headcanon even without any hints or evidence.

Regardless, I don't think what I am saying is purely biased; things are put in movies for a reason, especially animated movies, and let me tell you something, has this been another character, especially if it was a new character? I don't think people would be debating this.

If we have a new character having a trans flag in their room, their dad having a trans patch, this narrative; I doubt anyone would be saying this is coding. (Honestly, we would probably have more dudebros saying this is woke garbage than the ones I had seen lol.)

Alternative theories

Now, since I have addressed the theory and some of its criticism, I can't just ignore the number of people had rather than thinking Gwen is trans, believe someone else is.

Theory 1: Peter is Trans

This isn't odd. Honestly if you had been part of the Spiderman community while being queer, or aware of queer readings, you would have probably come around to the fact that a lot of people headcanon Peter Parker as trans, in multiple different variants in different mediums.

Partially because the spidey-hero situation really mimics the trans experience (there is a reason why you can put Gwen's speech on a come-out scene while simultaneously being about her hero identity without either way sounding forced,) and depending on what source materials, other clues can apply. This post isn't about that and it is already extremely long, so I will not dwell on this.

With this theory in mind, Gwen and her dad would be having trans flag and patch in memory of Peter, since with this theory it was likely that was the reason he was bullied, and probably another reason why to experiment to become the lizard; since being bullied could make him feel like he needs to find a way to be more masculine.

And look, do I have a problem with people thinking Peter is trans? Not really, I encourage it, I personally like the idea that both Gwen and Peter were trans and they bonded over it.

However, I wouldn't want this to be in canon, why?... It feels like it would fall into some harmful stereotypes.

Think about it this way; if we go with this route, a trans teen was bullied, after showing he looks like he is kind of isolated (Gwen seems to have the band at least, Peter looks like he was a loner, and then Gwen started to put distance between them because Spider-woman issues.) Get's so desperate that in an attempt to be "special" (maybe even "better" and "stronger," if he felt he wasn't enough as he was,) tries to experiment with things he shouldn't dying in the process; to which Gwen and her dad then would try to fight for trans rights in his memory, as this theory also heavily implies Peter was bullied because he was trans.

And look, angst narratives had their place, and a lot of people like this narrative, heck I remember a book that does something similar (More than Gold is the name, tho the character doesn't die,) and that was written by a trans person.

Nonetheless, the idea to suggest the only trans person in this narrative, dies after ostracization and bullying, and their purpose on the story as a whole would be to fuel Gwen's pain, with the "protect trans kids" idea only happening partially because of her guilt; feels a lot like "bury your gays (or trans in this case,)" something akin to frigging (while Peter would obviously still consider a boy in this theory, having a character from a minority die to hurt/inspire a protagonist, feels deeply concerning.) Is just a combination of too many things that I dislike.

Again, if someone likes this idea I will not say they are a bad person or anything; but I would have fewer issues if it wasn't because a SIGNIFICANT number of those who said this theory, had also shown to be deeply transphobic; insisting Gwen is obviously not trans with non-arguments. Doesn't need to be everyone, but it still annoys me.

2. Captain Stacy IS the trans one!

This one is...interesting, to say the least.

This one is less frequent than Peter's, but I had seen it pop around enough that I decided to address it.

Unlike Peter's, this one doesn't carry horrible connotations. Well it would have the "only" (if we go with this theory and with no other "canon" trans parent in the story,) trans parent be also the one that tries to point a gun at his daughter, to also be so extremely stubborn even when she finally comes back he acts kind of petulant- okay all of these things are bad, however, they wouldn't need to be related to each other; since none of these are really stereotypes of trans men. That's something?

Anyways, the big idea behind this theory is that aside from being more plausible for an adult to use a trans patch because they are trans rather than because their kid is trans, it could be a possible explanation as to why there is no mom or mention of a mom, since this child could be in vitro.

Which, okay, not that bad; I don't think a lot of trans men would like the idea of being pregnant, however, it has happened before so why not.

I don't think this is a bad theory overall, I just don't roll with it because it feels kind of, lazy? Again, do as you may; but it feels that the people who did it were more interested in again, having an explanation for Gwen not being trans, while also not actively being transphobic. Maybe some people just want more trans dad content I don't know.

There are technically instances of both the Peter theory and the Dad theory that could dethrone both of these, but the one related to Peter makes me feel a bit gross to think too hard about, and the other George one could imply something things that one way or other I don't like when the reality is that is a few frames on a scene where the patch isn't the focus. Another reason is that hey, if I don't have solid evidence on my own, I am not going to nitpick at other fan theories.

Speaking of which.

Is this Representation?

Short answer: No, no it's not.

I don't even want to discuss if is good representation, because it doesn't feel like it is to begin with. Yes, I do believe Gwen is trans, but all the things I have are background references, that are okay, however not having a confirmation does sting. It doesn't have to be the focus of her character, yet is not even off comments really, just some clues around.

Do I think it doesn't have Merit? No.

I remember during the first days this movie was out, I read a comment from someone who was in Florida, who said when they saw the "Protect Trans Kids" flag in Gwen's room, started crying.

I think of myself, almost a decade ago, in a country that wasn't really welcome to gay people, much less trans people; of the discrimination I faced because of it. I think when I was a teen, grappling with all these feelings; and how I would had feel seen the badass and cool, Gwen Stacy as Spider-woman, having that trans flag in their room. I know I would have cried too.

We cannot act like things are perfect currently; the United States, England, and other countries are becoming increasingly transphobic; having these things in a PG movie, from a big company, that is released to a worldwide level and is making bank. Not to mention that as small as these details are, the movie did end up getting banned for it, not even censored.

I think we can get better representation, but it doesn't mean this is less huge or less special; even if it didn't touch me like it would have in the past, it had touched many people, and that's something I appreciate one way or another.

This is in itself, another reason why to love this idea.

Gwen being trans fits the themes of the story better

Stan Lee is obviously, talking about Spider-MAN, but it gets the message across doesn't it?

Part of the reason Spiderman became so iconic, was the idea that ANYONE could be Spiderman, this ended up involved in these movies too.

In Across the Spider-verse, we see multiple types of spiders, people from the future, and past, children, women, men, animals, and a popsicle at one point (literally.) The movie also has Miguel, who is the antagonist, convinced what makes them Spiderman/Spiderwoman/you get the idea- is decided by a cosmic force, with Miles claiming that Spiderman is an idea, a responsibility, but something much more diverse than "you need these events to happen in order to be considered truly spiderman."

In Into the Spider-verse, this idea is also shown, by having spideys that are not just Peter Parker, and how Peter while important, isn't truly the protagonist of this tale, he doesn't need to be.

This franchise hinders the idea that being Spiderman is more than a name, a gender, or your background; is about someone that when given the possibility of using their powers for their own gain or ignoring the call, decides to risk it all, to handle a difficult life, to try to do their best despite the circumstances; because the essence of Spiderman, is being a hero, and anyone can be Spiderman. Anyone can be a hero.

Gwen being trans, elevates this idea.

While I think having more Spider-woman content is empowering on its own, cis woman or trans, the idea of having a trans hero obviously exemplifies this idea more than having her absence.

If Gwen is a trans girl, it would mean having a trans girl who is a tridimensional character, a trans teen that messes up, that doesn't know what to do, but is also a hero, and wants to do her best like everyone else. It means showing a trans girl as someone beautiful, badass, and having a guy who adores her with all his might.

If the idea of having her Peter be trans could be problematic, having her be trans means having a great role model, means a story about trans joy where we are free to be more than our identities, because the idea of Gwen casually being a hero and also trans is amazing in its own.

Is not perfect, but I ultimately love this idea, because it brings me hope. It means comfort for some trans and trans teens suffering out there, it means perhaps someone out there will try to offer more stories on the big screen with trans teens.

I want to believe this because Gwen being trans means more for us and the narrative than it would be otherwise. Let us have our dreams.

#ask #atsv files #gwen stacy #peter parker earth 65 #captain stacy #george stacy #across the spideverse #atsv

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nachofuck3r · 6 months

Text

Johnny Cage x Depressed, friend! Reader

Just a cross post from ao3 for the poor people of Tumblr.

Art was kindly done by @unabashedfacecreator

I also feel it's important to mention that you are not in an established relationship but just friends with weird tension tho.

Cw: hurt/comfort, implied body image issues, depression, suicidal thoughts, also fluff and tender Johnny

There's a spot on the ceiling, but as much as you'd love to move and clean it - you can't.

It's been minutes since you last moved, maybe even hours - not like you're counting. Everything feels numb and you yourself feel as though you are a void, not a person - but just a never-ending dark hole that only takes and never gives.

Friends, Family even haven't seen you in weeks, month partly. You could be dead for all they know - you really wish you were. You've done nothing but burden these people, it feels like all you are capable of is relying on others.

Bzzzzz

A vibration stirs you from your self-destructive thoughts, you move your eyes to the left. There lays your phone, running on only 16 percent but still vibrating with vigor, that you could almost be jealous of.

You will yourself to move your head to the side to get a glance at the screen, maybe even see if someone actually texted you. But to no avail, to see who is contacting you, during your lingo, you'd have to sit up.

You move your head back to its initial starting point, staring at the ceiling. You're almost tempted enough to fall back into your earlier trance.

This position is comfortable and familiar, there is nothing you can fuck up about this.

Bzzzzzz

Your finger begins to twitch, muscle memory most likely - you really need to get off that phone more often.

Back to your original thoughts, who texted you? With all your mental might you pull yourself together and attempt to sit up. It's slow and unsteady but you will yourself up with one quick movement. A few bones that have been stuck at an angle finally move back to their original resting places and make light cracking sounds. You groan, then falter. You haven't heard your own voice in a while. Speaking feels like a weary task, anytime you try it your lips start to wobble and tears collect in your eyes. You are just embarrassed at this state you're in, not good for or at anything.

Bzzzzz

Oh right- the phone

Your hand reaches for it before your mind can start to wonder again. The movement of pulling your phone back towards yourself activates the lock screen. You are greeted with a picture of your dog with.....

Fuck

Johnny

Bzzzzz

The phone vibrates in your hand, almost shocking you enough to drop it. Now you finally look at the messages you got, all from the same person. You unlock the screen and read the messages on the notification bar.

Johnathan chachow: Hey!

Johnathan chachow: I'm back from my trip!! You will never believe the shit I've seen a and been through.

Johnathan chachow: I feel like I skipped 100-character arcs and 30 potential flop eras

Johnathan chachow: been around for a while and been meaning to hit you up! I miss PEANUT and you ofc!!

The declaration makes you let out a huff, peanut is your dog. But you've given her temporarily to your parents for now since they said they'd love to have more reasons to go out.

You were very grateful they attempted to cover up initial their taking of your pet with their own excuse. Masking the straight facts, that you just couldn't take care of her right now. After forgetting to feed peanut two times, in one week you called them.

You recall their voices - laced with concern, after hearing the initial shake in your own tone.

Bzzzz

Johnathan chachow: This is the point where you'd be like: "Oh Johnny, I missed you so much, please come over to my place! So, you can cuddle with peanut (and potentially me) for the rest of the weekend"

Rest of the- you fumble to take a look at the date on top of your screen and to your surprise, Johnny was right. It's only Friday afternoon. Like in a trance, you click the messages and get transported to the chat immediately.

"Shit" your voice comes out as a hoarse rumble, furthering your flabbergasted state.

No time!

You need to think of what to answer now! Johnny only just texted you this so the chance of him still being in the chat are high. Which means he saw you reading the messages, which in turn means he's expecting an answer.

Especially after the trip he took, he was gone for months and still remembers you from a time where your life and self-respect weren't completely falling apart.

You type out a few starters but they all get deleted, because you feel as though they are insufficient - not unlike yourself.

You don't even know where to start. You really wish you'd have just let yourself fall back into your original trance, staring at the dirty ceiling.

Not this: sat up on your messy bed, surrounded by mountains of stinky laundry and a few food wrappers. With the hand not holding your phone you pinch the bridge of your nose, hoping it'll help your brain work faster at processing what to write your friend.

You: Hey! Glad to have you back.

You: My flat is a little messy right now

You nervously watch as the messages you typed out go immediately to read - and as Johnny gets to writing.

Johnathan Chachow: Okay?!?! That's not a no. Soooo.

Jonathan Chachow: I'm coming over and bringing takeout!!

Your jaw promptly drops, Johnny has always been very overly forward and friendly like this and you usually don't mind.

But that's because before you always had your shit together, which cannot be said about you and your life’s current state.

The house: an absolute mess, your life: an absolute mess and mostly you being an absolute mess.

And now your best friend of 5 years is about to witness you in this state. Johnny's messages give you an adrenaline rush you could've used weeks ago and you jump out of bed.

Rapidly your fingers start hitting the screen, as you move through the muck on your floor.

You: No really don't!! It's like really messy and I already ate!

Lies except for the messy part, you haven't eaten since Tuesday and at the thought of food your stomach grumbles like a traitor. Hurriedly you start picking up things around the house, you try your best to sort clothes and trash into separate bags but if you're two pairs socks and underwear lighter after this endeavor, you'll blame it on your fussy state.

As you scramble to bring order to your house you hear another -

Bzzzzz

You look around trying to pinpoint where in this mess you left your phone.

Bzzz

There on top of a hill of dirty t-shirts, it vibrates once more.

You grabble for it, unlocking it immediately.

Johnathan Chachow : I haven't seen you IN MONTHS!

Johnathan Chachow : Babe, strap in, I'm coming over, even if I have to climb a mountain of dirty panties.

You chuckle nervously at the message, your dry throat protesting, not soon after.

After letting out a few coughs and you try to get back to cleaning up - seeing there is no point in trying to convince Johnny otherwise. And as you accidentally drop your phone in your run around the house it hits you.

What about you, your body has been marinating in nothing but misery for weeks. You don't even know when you last took a shower. Haven't even looked in a mirror for forever - but one thing is for certain, you must look like shit.

Suddenly the stench of your clothes hit your nose and your nose scrunches up in disgust.

Ignoring your strange odor, you fumble for your phone and immediately bolt for the bathroom. Since you only used this place for dissociated cry sessions and peeing, it was kept fairly clean, despite your effect on the other rooms.

After taking a glance in the mirror, you don't need to be corrected.

A shower is in order immediately, though by the looks of it so should be sleep. Eye bags as prominent as Johnny's personality have formed under your eyes and not the sexy vampire kind of eye bags.

No matter, you splash your face with water and then get to peeling of your well worn clothes. Skillfully avoiding your reflection in the mirror as you discard layer after layer of clothing. You step into the shower and as you turn on the water, you feel the adrenaline starting to wear of. With the pressure of the water pattering down on you, weariness starts to set back in. You shampoo your hair quickly and soon remember you've run out of body wash about a week ago.

In your hazed state you use the shampoo as a substitute, telling yourself it's better than nothing. As you're attempting to scrub yourself clean, you catch yourself trying to not look down, as if to avoid eye contact with your body. You don't need to be even more brought down, you just need to get this done and get it done before-

Ding Dong

Fuck

You quickly turn of the shower, grab a relatively fresh towel and wrap it around yourself.

The floor squeaks as you almost trip over your own, still wet, feet - to get out of the bathroom.

The trash and laundry you half-heartedly have assembled still lies in the living room, you grab for it with your still wet hands, placing it temporarily in the tiny storage room next to your bedroom. I'll take care of it later, goes through your head as a knock can be heard from the front door.

"yEah I'm coming" you rasp, yell out as best as you could. Wishing that Johnny would grant a few more seconds of dignity. Though it seems as though some other higher power had another plan, as you hear the sound of keys jingle and the door knob turn.

"That's what they always say to me" - he boasters as he enthusiastically opens the door, only to let the doors fall open by itself as his eyes fall on you.

Let me die, if there is a god out there kind enough to hear my wish, strike me down.

His shocked expression turns into one of mischief.

"If I'd had known you were on the menu tonight, I wouldn't have brought Chinese" he leans against the door, propping the hand with his keys against his hip. Warmth floods your entire being, as you stand there, still almost naked and your flat looking like it's been ransacked.

"I-" after attempting to speak you immediately regret not having had something to drink yet. Your dry throat refuses to let you speak and betrays you with a coughing fit. Toppling over, you hear Johnny rush to place the takeout bags down and move to your side.

"Whoa whoa. Hey let's get you sat and hydrated" "and scoop" he catches you off guard, by picking you up gingerly, you can only let out a small surprised gasp - as he sets you down on the coach.

"Sit" he utters, giving your back an affectionate pat - before moving to the kitchen. As you sit there you think about how ridiculous this whole situation is. Because there is no way this man, your best friend, is seriously wearing star shaped sun glasses on his head, while you have a coughing fit in only a towel.

"Here you go" Johnny renounces his presence by gently taking your hands and wrapping them around a fresh glass of water. Your dry throat cries out for the beverage as your slightly shaky hands put it to your lips. As you just about finish the glass, placing it down on the coffee table in front of you. Johnny starts to take the place surrounding you two. Looking at him like this makes you want to burst into tears.

"Done a little, mhm redecorating?" he asks, And usually Johnny's teasing was taken by you with grace or even a comeback, now and then.

Now though as the whole situation sinks in again, you can only feel tears building at the corner of your eyes.

"You-" your lip wobbles and Johnny's carefree smirk turns into a frown.

"Oh sweetheart" he mutters kindly as you feel tears bursting out eyes. Johnny embraces you on the couch and you can only pathetically sob into his shoulder as he pats your back.

"This is s-so" - start to speak and even though you drank some water you still feel your throat closing up as you try to press more words out "e-embarrassing" As you utter the last word out Johnny slowly pulls you back to look at your, now tear ridden, face.

He gently brushes over the still ever-growing tear stream, going down your face.

"What are you even saying?"

"I-I just- I'm half naked, my best friend-" you gulp loudly to ease tightening throat, "Who I haven't seen in months keeps doing all this nice stuff for me- *sniff* and I just, can't even function enough to pretend as if my life isn't absolutely shit."

Listening intently Johnny's eyes wander over your face as he takes both your cheeks in his hands.

"It's okay. This is nothing to be embarrassed about, everyone hits a tough spot once in a while. Even a big guy like you and me" He explains as he brushes his thumb over your cheek. "You are single-handedly the kindest, most beautiful and skilled person, I know"

"and you're human, most importantly, it's okay to not always perform or work. You gotta take care of yourself, doll" He lets his right hand drop from your face to your hands, gently he lifts yours to his face and nuzzles his cheek against it matching, his other hand on your cheek. "You've pulled me outta hell, back when Kris and I split" he speaks softly, not once breaking your gaze

"Do you remember the state the mansion was in?" he earnestly asks as you rake your mind for pictures post Johnny's divorce It was such a big house, so it truly never felt too littered or cramped even with the dirty formal clothing, ice cream pints and tissues all over the floor.

"Yeah, but mostly the immense amount of chocolate chip and mint, ice cream you ate" He slightly cringes at the mention as though he can still taste the ice cream now.

"Ugh, even now it makes me shiver, in more than one way."

"Ahem, my point being, It was a mess and I was a mess."

"A hot mess even, and not the good kind" he rambles on. "Back then - You, were the only person that truly had my back"

"Sure, I still had my mom, bless her, not really my dad, fucken asshole he is, but you were always there when it counted." his tongue moves out to wet his lips and your embarrassed to admit your eyes followed the movement.

"More than anything you talked me through a bunch of panic attacks."

"and helping you with this" you scan the room out of the corner of your eye. "is the absolute minimum, a guy like me, can do for an angle like you"

Any other time you would have probably bristled and teased him about the nickname but now just hearing him say it is enough to make you want to cry even more.

"I don't deserve you" you utter out brushing your own thumb over his cheek. His hand drops from your cheek to your shoulder and he pulls you close enough for a kiss.

Your foreheads knock together gently, as he opens his mouth to utter.

"You deserve all of me"

Tears still drying on your cheek and to your surprise a few tear-tracks also run down Johnny's face. Not knowing what else to say or do you finally point out the still very much elephant in the room.

"Can I put some clothes on?"

"Whaaaatt? Why? I love the au naturel look." He barks, intentionally letting his eyes scan you from head to feet.

You furrow your brows at him, but smile nonetheless.

Then you look back at your bedrooms door and remember that you haven't done the laundry in a while.

"I- shit... I don't have any fresh clothes"

"Oh would be a waste if I didn't take of mine as well, so we could match" He jests as he gets up and drops his coat on the couch.

"Harhar, seriously though gimme a sec I'll just see if I can find an-" but johnny holds up his hand, to stop you short.

Then in a dramatic gesture takes your hand in his. "Fret not my dear. For I am ever prepared and brought spares" He winks, as he bolts up and jogs to the front door revealing a bag you hadnt noticed he had earlier.

"I thought I was probably gonna crash on your couch tonight anyways-" " and as someone who has already gotten mouth wash all over his shirt and shorts once. " - "I have brought spares spares"

He ceremoniously takes a shirt and a pair boxer shorts out of his bag and gingerly drops them in your hands.

"There you are, your highness" His trademark charm up to a max again as you still gape at the clothes.

"Wow, you really are my best friend, who totally didn't soak his shirt with my bottle of mouthwash once"

"Ouch, how ungrateful and cruel you are, your highness." He jokingly puts a hand over his heart before moving closer to your face.

"Get to changing before I change my mind" He whispers playfully, with a certain suggestiveness to it that you'd rather deny has an effect on you.

Brushing of those weird feelings you start heading to the bathroom as johnny sets up your living room for a movie night.

After you've successfully changed into the shirt and boxer shorts, you make your way back to the living room.

There, also in a shirt and boxers sat Johnny contently staring at the work he’s done. He’s gotten rid of all the newsletters, letters and magazines that you always trust from your mailbox straight onto the table. If that wasn’t already a feat of its own Johnny has plated the takeout boxes contents up on plates, still steaming from the microwave and prepped two sodas with ice cubes. You didn’t even know you had ice cubes.

"Hey there sunshine, glad you could make it –" he eyes you in his clothes and halts.

He takes a surprisingly laboured breath before motioning to the spot next to him on the couch.

"I like the look you had going before but this" he eyes you up and down over his ridiculous star shaped sunglasses. "This i could get used to"

"Don't cream your pants, your shirt is not nearly as loose on me as I’d like it to be"

"Ughhh~ too late- plus that's makes it sexy, leaves less to the imagination and more to the eye" He clicks his tongue as he theatrically shakes his hips, as much as possible while sitting.

"Sexy? Can’t spruce up what cannot be saved by sprucing" It’s all fun and games with you usually flirting and complimenting each other but you've never done this before.

Say how you freaky feel, maybe you haven’t ever felt like you do now about your body. But you surely do now and He eyes you critically, how brows knit together.

"Hey, that's my friend you're talking about. And they are" He moves in closer.

"the sexiest bitch" Closer "I know, aside from me" He grabs your cheeks with on hand, successfully squishing your face.

"So, don't come around talking shit about them here" You regard him wide-eyed, as you feel his warm breath grazing your face.

"Understood?" he says, his gaze absolutely keeping you in place, unable to move.

"Jeez Luis, understood, now let go you brute." you try to lighten up the atmosphere , giving his chest a light shove, as you pull back from his grip, adjusting your jaw.

"Damn you really got a tight grip there, where ever you were these past few months, really gave you a new edge" you jest as you try to put a little distance between yourself and him.

He giggles slightly and you swear you see him kick his feet.

"You really think so? I was feeling it as well!"- "My journey though outworld really leveled up my charisma"

"Outworld?" you let out a huff, grabbing your plate with fried noodles.

"Yes! Oh, I've got so much to tell you!" he exclaims excitedly, giving you an absolutely blinding smile

You listen to his vibrant display, eagerly as he tells you more and more of what he has been doing these past months. If he didn't show you the pictures, videos and his group chat with Kenshi, Kung Lao, Raiden and Liu Kang, you probably would've thought he was telling you about his upcoming movie plot.

But as Johnny vibrantly shows and tells you about his escapades these past few weeks, you're just so grateful he's better than he was before this trip.

It goes to show that things actually do get better, from an absolute movie star mess, to a guy who traveled outside of 'earthrealm' as he called it and on top made new friends.

It gives you a glimmer of hope, for your own endeavor and seeing how eager Johnny was to meet with you, helps as well.

Because to Johnny you are more than a broken machine, but his friend and perhaps more in days to come.

#johnny cage fanfiction #johnny cage #X Reader #x m!reader #x gn!reader #mk1 fanfic #mk1 x reader

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