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sflow-er · 2 months

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To August anon 2

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply! I don't know if you'll even see this as I've decided not to risk the backlash of putting it on the main tag, but I hope you do.

[Earlier posts: August anon 1, August anon 2]

I want to curate the discussion a bit now that you've shifted part of the focus on Sara. I don't share your position of liking both her and August for being 'morally dark' people, and I fear it may be a bit jarring to any Sara fans reading this. So I've decided to screenshot your message and put it under the cut instead of replying directly.

We disagree on some fundamental things when it comes to August's and especially Sara's characterisation, and I doubt we're going to reach consensus. But that's okay! I'm just going to explain some parts of my POV below, and then we can agree to disagree. There are also a few areas where we seem to be getting our wires crossed (e.g. what we mean by 'understanding' the consequences) so I want to clear those up.

Most of this rambling essay was written before the S3 trailer came out, so I'm not focusing much on the glimpses we see of them in the trailer. But I am still using the spoiler tags just to be safe.

CW: negative take on Sara (but the anon actually likes her); couple of suicide mentions

Okay so... I'm going to start by clarifying a couple of things:

Understanding vs. understanding

Infantilising vs. taking young age into account

When I talk about August and the consequences, I'm not saying he lacks the intellect or analytical thinking to know/predict them. I'm saying he lacks the empathy and relevant frames of reference to understand them. I think we're just using the word 'understand' to mean different things - maybe internalise, empathise or relate would be a better choice for what I mean by it?

To revisit my previous example, August as an incredibly privileged member of the elite cannot understand i.e. relate to Simon's experience as someone whose ability to make his own reputation and get by on his own merit has been permanently affected by the video. As a very confidently straight man, he also cannot relate to Wille's experience as someone whose non-straight sexuality, a deeply personal and private thing that he wasn't even done figuring out, has suddenly been exposed to the world and potentially even some homophobic hate.

I'm not saying this to infantilise, defend, or excuse August. I'm saying it because to me, it partly explains why it's so easy for him to dismiss the harm to Simon and see his betrayal of Wille as just a matter of loyalty - the only moral code he knows - instead of something that would've been wrong no matter who the victim was. It's a thought pattern that stems from his upbringing and worldview, and it would have to be dismantled for him to feel proper remorse. Which I think would probably take professional help at this point.

(I agree with you that August would be extremely prejudiced against Boris. A glimpse of him googling therapy providers or booking an appointment for after graduation might feel more realistic to me - but I guess it depends on what the writers want to do with him. We already saw very quick progress with Wille in S2 so it's safe to say they can take some liberties.)

I still believe that August will lose his social status in S3, likely towards the end. But it's fair that you don't, and the trailer is certainly edited to support your position. If he retains his status, then you may be right about him remaining the same old asshole! If he does lose it, then my original point about him likely not being resilient enough to cope with the consequences still stands. He is very much the kind of person to whom suicide is the "proud" way out compared to the shame of losing everything.

Now, the age thing.

Respectfully, I think you may be ascribing too much meaning to August and Sara being of age in S2 (note that Sara was still 17 when she made the deal with August in S1). Eighteen is the age of legal adulthood, yes, but it doesn't make them fully grown and mature adults in the (neuro)biological, psychological or social sense.

[This feels like a good point to say that I am not going to try to account for Sara's neurodivergence here. I definitely don't have the insight, so if anything I've written below is in any way inaccurate or offensive to persons with AuDHD, please let me know!!]

Firstly, it's important to note that that the human brain matures gradually and unevenly. The prefrontal cortex i.e. the 'reasoning centre' only matures in the mid-to-late 20s, while parts that handle things like right/wrong, risk/reward, and emotional responses (e.g. the amygdala) mature earlier. This can cause teens and young adults to struggle with things like impulse control, assessing the long-term consequences of their actions, understanding others' emotions, and rational decision-making in situations that trigger a strong emotional response. Reason can get overtaken by emotion on a chemical level; sometimes the young person can't even fully explain afterwards why they did something they rationally knew was wrong all along.

[I don't think August was in a particularly analytical state of mind when he decided to post the video. He was an intelligent but emotionally unstable and empathically challenged 18-year-old who felt like he had nothing left to lose and the only moral code he knew (i.e. loyalty) was obsolete. He was also still stewing in the emotional turmoil of his humiliation and likely stuck in a negative feedback loop. It feels very plausible to me that he could be in a very bad place for a pretty long time and still function enough to plan his revenge (more on the revenge part below).]

Secondly, both August and Sara have also had some pretty traumatic experiences (Sara's bullying, August's dad's suicide, the influence of both their dads while they were still in their lives). These may have impacted their emotional and psychological development in various ways and created some thought patterns. Not to play arm-chair psychologist, but I don't think it's a coincidence August's decision to post the video is related to his family estate and legacy, while Sara's decision to make a deal with August is related to the threat of being sent back to Marieberg.

[This feels particularly relevant for Sara, whose bullying was brutal and long-term enough for her to have to repeat a year. The negative attention on Simon after the video probably seemed less severe in comparison, and also like a 'first incident' (in fact, she might have even felt like Linda was applying a different standard to Simon's ordeal compared to hers by immediately wanting to take them both out of Hillerska).]

[I vehemently disagree with Sara's idea that the damage to Simon was already done and it wouldn't have made a difference whether he knew who was responsible, but I think it matters to some extent that she didn't know the history between Simon and August. To her, the video probably seemed like something that was mostly between August and Wille. That idea was likely reinforced by August consistently dismissing Simon's side of it - and also by Simon seemingly moving on with Marcus and no longer being the talk of the school after Christmas. This kind of rationalisation may have even made Sara feel better about pursuing a relationship with August in S2.]

[I also think Sara probably felt like she had the right to be selfish after everything she'd been through. Simon's support during her bullying wasn't conditional; she didn't feel like she "owed him" any sacrifices. It was clearly Simon's idea to follow Sara to Hillerska, and she may have even felt like he was hovering a bit (I doubt S1E1 was her first time saying she was fine now and he didn't have to be there). Then, Simon started to keep secrets and even see Micke for reasons Sara didn't know, altering the terms of their relationship, while Sara was finally daring to dream of things she'd been denied for so long. Friends, a better future, even romance. To her, it felt extremely unfair to have to give all that up and go back to a school that was a nightmare to her but not to Simon. Especially when her and Simon's lives weren't as intertwined anymore and she finally felt like she was gaining some agency in her own.]

Thirdly (circling back to the point about maturity), it's good to keep in mind that both August and Sara are still in the high-school phase of life. A phase when most people are a bit selfish, and their past and current dramas and dreams for the future are everything to them. They haven't really acquired much experience or long-term perspective yet. So I really don't think we can call them that much more mature in the social sense than, say, Wilhelm and Simon. They are still messy teens living their messy teen lives, shaped by their upbringing and limited life experience, all the while thinking they are basically grown adults.

So am I saying all this to infantilise August and Sara and excuse their actions? I'm sure it sounds that way; hence, not putting this on the main tag.

But the way I see it, to infantilise them would be to say they weren't responsible for their actions or didn't know what they're doing. They are responsible, and they do know. All the factors laid out above (and also in my previous August posts) explain their reasoning and actions to some extent, but they do not excuse them. The fact still remains that they both applied their best judgment and deliberately chose to do the thing that they knew was wrong.

You're right that they took time to consider their decisions in S1, although I don't think we can know for sure exactly how long August takes. The timeline is a mess at that point; he is still at the Palace wearing the same outfit when the others make their statement, and I doubt he could've been there overnight. But he does take several hours in any case, and although he isn't thinking rationally at that point, he still knows what he's doing is wrong. In fact, he does it with the sole intention of hurting others, which makes it all the more reprehensible.

I just want to caution against labelling him as some evil, fundamentally unfeeling mastermind. He's just a very selfish and immature young man with a very warped view of the world, who needs to see some consequences for his own sake as much as his victims'. I think part of the reason we saw him turn so soft with Sara in S2 was to underline that he is capable of empathy and caring; it's just a matter of unlocking those emotions. They haven't exactly been nurtured growing up, so he is only applying them to the people he deems "worthy", instead of all his fellow human beings. That selective empathy is another thing he seriously needs to work on, alongside the lack of accountability.

As for Sara, she takes several days to consider what to do about the video, which makes her betrayal of Simon more severe. But as explained above, it's so much more nuanced than her not caring about him. (Or indeed her being some poor victim who didn't know what she was doing and fell in love with The Devil! Don't get me wrong, August definitely let her believe she was guiding him in a better direction, which may have even pushed some Micke buttons in her subconscious and/or memories of Simon's insistence that everyone deserves a second chance... But she still made her own decisions and is responsible for them.)

It's easy to forget that we do in fact see Sara aware that her actions are wrong even before the end of S2. She looks conflicted/unsure when she and August make out in S1E6, cries when Simon earnestly proclaims "I like you when you are you" and "I'm trying to be your friend again because I need you" after she has just betrayed him, and again looks conflicted when the siblings talk about loving the "wrong person" in S2E5. She did some very selfish things and hid them for much too long, yes, but I believe her regret is genuine. It will take some skilful writing to make her and Simon reconcile in a way that makes sense, doesn't feel rushed or reduce her to an archetype, and doesn't just magic away her leftover feelings for August (as those will probably take some time to clear out). But I do have faith it can be done.

So I think that just about covers what I wanted to say. This isn't a comprehensive essay by any means, and I'm sure it won't go down well with everyone. I also don't expect it to change your mind about these characters, anon, and that's okay!

I mostly just wanted to push back on the notion that Sara and August being 18 means all their bad decisions are now on par with bad decisions taken by fully grown adults and their character development is now set in stone. I highly doubt the show will end with them both proudly standing behind their poor choices - I can certainly see August doing that if he doesn't see any repercussions, but not Sara.

In any case, thank you for taking the time to explain your point of view on these characters, and sorry again for taking so long to respond!

#yr but doesn't need to go in the tag #august horn #sara eriksson #sargust #august horn of årnäs #august anon discourse #yr analysis #young royals spoilers #yr spoilers #young royals speculation #yr speculation #young royals season 3 #young royals season three #yr s3 #yrs3 #young royals season 3 spoilers #yr s3 spoilers #yrs3 spoilers #tw suicide mention

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acheronist · 5 months

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I am reading The Goldfinch. I'm where he just started hanging out at the furniture/antiques place regularly. It's written well, it's holding my inerest, but I don't yet see what all the fuss is about. So not as a criticism but in an effort to appreciate something I might be missing, why is it a book you love?

well.

donna tartt is one of my favorite authors anyways. I think she's a spectacular freak and her storytelling skills are exceptionally good and i've read as much of her work as i can possibly get my little hands on!

but for tgf specifically, the narrative being soooo so so centered on personal emphasis & meaning being bestowed upon specific artworks despite them being very unpersonal objects (after they get out of the artist's hands, that is,) in stark comparison to the way that art that can belong to/be seen/be consumed any random fucking person alive in the modern age has been the only existential buoy in my life for a very very very long time. in my lowest times, instead of killing myself i go stand in art museums and think about how much love and creativity is innate in humanity despite times of crisis and war and disease and all of the fucking agonies and everything going wrong and having no control over it. ha ha. it's always been a balm to me, to remember that there is goodness and love preserved in artwork, and that artwork is tougher and longer-lasting than you'd initially think, and that it's always there waiting for me to come back to it and see it in a different emotional state to find new meanings in it. this is the same as how theo thinks about the painting thru different times in his life!! going from needing it desperately as a connection to his mom, obsessively as a comfort, and then reviling it for being a representation of his life's biggest trauma and yet still tending to it and caring for it, to the heartache of losing it and the relief of retrieving it with the one person who genuinely loves him as an act of devotion and apology for a previous betrayal....all while navigating how systems in power are neglectful and uncaring and capitalistic. it's all just So Much To Me.....

and I know the middle chapters where theo just goes on and on about the intricacies of antique forgery aren't as fun and sexy as the vegas chapters with boris (underage drug abuse and gay sex WHEEEEEE) OR the actual criminal chapters at the end (mysterious borderline-noir criminal heist slash subtextual romcom), but they're soooo so poignant to me. because in my own little life, curating the art and music around me and finding beauty and importance and symbolism in these subtle things is a vital central axis that i need to have, much like i need a nice bed or a good meal or a glass of clean water. much of how i cope and navigate the world is very deeply focused around art & art analysis, and I think the only other book i've read that articulated that sort of feeling quite as eloquently would be john berger's way of seeing, which is an academic and analytical text. but i just love fiction so much, so to have tgf as the extremely emotional fiction option to go along w my nonfiction art thesis books that are tonally very prim and objective and well organized..... DELICIOUS. i love it. and i love a fictive narrative built upon tragedy. i love works that call back to each other in conversation, and stories that cannot exist without the foundation of Something Else Existing A Millennia Prior. i love comparing works and establishing what makes them similar or different but how they approach the same themes. and i love to see characters (THEO. boris. pippa. hobie. andy.) that i can identify with who struggle with similiar problems i have, because it makes it easier for me to get thru my own life. this isn't groundbreaking reasoning though, that's just how every human alive consumes art and content. of course we look for ourselves in fiction. of course we as individuals want to find things that we relate to.

and also in a purely self-indulgence way, I also looooooove it when media is unbearably long and i can get completely entranced and study it closely and always be able to find new details that throw the whole story into a completely new light, which I think tgf does very well because it's almost 900 pages LMAO. every time i reread it there's a new nuanced angle for me to think about actions and thoughts leading into consequences and i just eat that up every single time.......

but despite all of this i do recognize that tgf is not everyone's cup of tea. like it's genuinely one of the most meaningful texts in my heart but i completely understand how it can be long, and boring, and melodramatic, and a bit insane, and convoluted, and pompous, and not worth the time to get from cover to cover.

but it is worth the time. to me.

#tgf

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hazashiovo · 1 year

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Imagine being Aemonds enemy yet biggest obsession.

TW!dark themes, yandere tendencies, sicko Aemond, rap3 Mention!, injury, bastard!reader, suicide! Mention

After Viserys's death and your mother's loss of baby, the news of the throne beeing usurped by Aegon didn't sit right with you nor your family at all. You love your mother and know she deserves the throne she worked so hard for, it's not like you also have a deep hatred for the Greens.

Soon enough your mother decided to send you and Jacaerys for allies, you offered to go instead of your little brother. You got on your dragons back and left for Storms end.

The ride was long but you and Ghost managed to get there in a day and half a night.

Finally landing, you look around. A loud is heard, Vhagar.If the huge dragon is here it means her vicious rider must also be here.

You and Aemond never got along, or that's what you like to think.You only started hating each other after the accident.You defended Lucerys when he mutilated Aemonds face , you knew Luke was guilty, but as his older sister it was your duty to protect and defend him.

Wich also means Aemond is here on his brother's behalf.

You quickly make your way to Lord Baratheon to hand him the letter your mother sent you here for.

The guards open the door for you one you identified your self , letting you in. You make your way to the dark hall , wich at the end Lord Baratheon sits down.

You search the room and notice the prying eye of Aemond Targaryen. The man who wants you dead most likely.

-Lord Boros, I come here on behalf on my mother,the rightfull Queen of the Iron Throne.-

Your eyes meet Aemonds once you said that, letting him know you're no longer the little kid he used to know.

You hand over the letter to one of Lord Baratheon's servants, wich he quickly deliveres.

-Curious, not to long ago I received a messenger from the King-

Aemond doesn't even hide the way he strips you naked from skin to bone in his vile imagination.

-wich is it? A Queen or a king after all? -

You don't fail to notice the way you're being stared at by the Second prince, he gives you the creeps.

-The house of the dragon can't seem to know who rules it-

Boris continues as in mocking your mother and you at the same time.He chuckles.

-what message does she have for me?-

You hand over the letter to a servant, who quickly delivers it, He than not so nicely calls for the Maester, the idiot can't read.

Aemond stares at you as if you killed his whole family, To reasure yourself you grip the dagger seated at your hip hoping to ease you a bit, wich it didn't since he smirked.

The long silence was then broken by Lord Boros's angry voice.

-Remind, me, of my fathers oath? -

God how you hate his attitude. He then continues.

-King Aegon at least came with a betrothal offer, what does your mother have to offer child? -

His arogant voice rings thought the large hall.

You were a bit shocked to hear that Aegon sent with a betrothal, you know he's already married to poor sweet Haelena, wich gives you a reason more to hate him, so that leaves...

That's why Aemonds here, once you make eye contact with him he smirks, an icy look on his face.

-My Lord, I'm already betrothed to Lord Cregan Stark, wich I cannot take in of your sons as Husbands I can assure you an alliance with my mother would treat you better rather than the usurper that Westeros is calling king. -

You confidently stated, looking at Boros than at Aemond.

Aemond wasn't pleased with the information he received, why didn't he know about this? Are his spies completely usseles?

He clenched his jaw in anger, he wasn't jealous, he despises you. Why would he be jealous of a bastard that doesn't belong to him, neither does he wish for, at least that's the little lies he fills his head with. He likes to think he will own you to make you suffer for what your brother did to him. Aemond finds it easy to blame you than a small child, imagine how pathetic it is to lose your eye to your nephew.

-So not only you come empty handed, you also insult the king of Westeros? -

Boros leans forward a bit on his chair, looking insulted.

-Leave, child. -

He waves you of as if you only wasted his time.You decided not to fight it anymore, as you were sent a messager not a fighter by your mother. You nod and turn around ready to head to dragon stone.

- I shall tell my mother the side you picked , my Lord. -

You chose to leave it that way and leave for home.

-Wait.-

The unfamiliar voice perked st your ears. You stopped in your tracks even tho your instincts were telling you to keep moving.

-My Strong Lady,-

Aemonds offensive voice made it's way to your ears.

-i tolerated enough slander you trew at me and my brothers ,my prince..-

You clenched your fists , not wishing to spend one more second there.

He smirked.

-Did you really think you could fly above the realm as a traitor to the crown?-

-Trying to steal my brother's throne at no cost?

He continued.

You tolerated enough, especially when it's about your mother who you love and respect.

-My mother is he true Queen, I can say the same about you, my prince. -

You defend, venom lacing your voice in the last part of your sentence.

-the difference is my mother doesn't drink herself to death and share whores most of her time, unlike a known somebody.-

You glare at Aemond for daring to disrespect your mother.

-But today is not the day we fight, prince Aemond, I'm not here to start a war I cannot end, or take your other eye.-

You smirked, noticing the way his jaw clenched at the mention of his old wound.

-to battle with you would bring me no satisfaction. I want you to put out your eye... As payment for mine.-

Aemond took of his covered patch and revealed a beautiful blue crystal replacing his long healed wound

He stared at you , taking his dagger from his belt and throwing it at your feet.

-One would do, I won't blind you nor take away your... Beauty.-

He mocked you as you raised your head.

-Plan to make a gift of it to my mother.-

He smirked with his head help up high.

-I will not do such thing for a fight belonging to the past.-

You took a deep breath to calm down you anger st the mention of Alicent.

Lord Baratheon is staring at the two of you, tension so tick it could cut throats.

Once you refused, his look completely changed, from the collected calm prince to rage.

-Than you are craven as well as a traitor.-

-Give me your eye, or I will take it you bastard whore!-

he violently stepped towards you picking up his dagger in the process.

-Enough! Not in my house!-

Boros decided to break it before a disaster could happen.

The way Aemond glared at you would have made the strongest men turn to stone, yet you stood your ground.

You respectfully left the hall in a hurry, not wishing to see the prince for a second more.

Lord Baratheon had two of his knights escort you to Ghost, to make sure the two of you don't spill blood in his courtyard either.

You quickly make your way to Ghost, he's in distress, angry and ready to get home to.

He's also feeling shaken up , he knows Vhagar is here and he feels small. But Ghost is a great dragon that doesn't need to be saved by anyone, he's not one to intimidate easily.

Something isn't right, you think to yourself, The huge shadow of Vhagar isn't there. The storm doesn't make it any better.

You notice the way Ghost is reluctant.

-Dōhaeris Ghost!, ryabas, nūha taōba!-

You line your forhead with his to bring him comfort, gently peting his wet nose and looking into his icing eyes.

-let's go my sweet boy-

You climb on his back and with a fast move your in air.

You fly above storm's end, lighting and thunder surrounding it.

Ghost makes his way through the clouds fastly, advantage beeing that he's one of the fastest dragons at the moment.

He pays attention where to turn and not to crash. You're thankful you got a dragon like him choosing you.

After a few peaceful minutes of having your mind clear a huge shadow covers you and your dragon. You know who it is, that's why you command Ghost to sprint faster. Vhagar might be the largest dragon, but she's old, and not as fast as your dragon.

Ghost makes his way through places only he could fit and dodge.

You look behind to see if he's still there it catching up to you, he's not.

Once you look in front you see Vhagar so close to having you as it's next meal. You quickly move to dodge the Maniac who's chasing you, his laugh taunting you.

-Stop this madness Aemond! Have your limits!-

You yell knowing he will hear you.

In exchange you hear Vhagar groan.

Each time a but more closer to from you are, Vhagar so close to riping you and ghost in half.

Right when you were ready to give up a thought crossed your mind, Vhagar won't fit thought small places, and like the gods were on your side you notice a crampled coverage of stones, big enough for ghost to land and hide.

You directed Ghost that way making sure not to enter Vhagar mouth any time soon.

If course Vhagar followed, luckily enough you managed to make your way there.

Aemond's laugh never ceased, loving to see you scared and helpless at his mercy to do what ever he pleased,and oh how he loves taunting you , he barely waits to have you cornered.

-Jemēla gēlȳni enkā! Riña!-

His vicious laugh acompanies his sentence as he drags the last word out.

You and Ghost landed near a cave big enough for both of you.

You quickly got off the dragons back to get shelter.

Youre so shaken up you don't even notice the way Vhagar isn't in the sky any more.

You run towards the cave, you didn't manage to make it inside as you got pushed to the ground.

You quickly turn around and latch to your sword.

-you didn't actually think I'd let you go did you? -

The second Prince's taunting voice looked over you , you are a trembling mess, the coldnes and the water dripping from the top of your head to your bots, but that look in your eyes oh how he loved that.

You are cornered yet you still have that Strong look, ready to face the world .

You get your quickly, holding your sword in one hand ready to defend yourself.

-havent you've done enough? What do you want from me!-

Your voice speaks with anger.

-Oh I am just getting started-

He chuckled in a dark tone that sent shivers down your spine.

He takes his sword and the two of you skilfully fight. You slash his right arm as he almost stabs you in the side. You noticed he doesn't aim to kill you wich is very suspicious.

You got your sword to his neck once you find the opportunity.

-give up on that blind wish to harm me and my family!-

You demand with power in your voice.

With one swift movement he managed to get you on the ground dagger to you neck as he straddles your waist.

One knee he bend to keep himself up as the other rests on the other side of your waist.

-After all this time I finally got you bastard whore. -

And evil smile rests on his face.

You try to escape his hold on you.

-I wonder if your Lord Stark will want you once I'll tell him all the things I'm gonna do to you this night -

Once you hear that fear strucks you like a thunder, you could accept a lot of things but you were deadly afraid of what he was insinuating.

-Don't you dare lay a hand on me you cunt!-

You angrily treathen even though you know you're in no such position to do so.

He slightly pushes the knife deeper in your troath, enough to draw a drop of blood wich mixes with the water falling on you.

He forcefully grips your jaw and looks you in the eyes.

He doesn't say anything yet but a toxic smile fogs his face, his eye patch no where in sight, hair wet and eye whiden, giving him a Pshycothic look.

-I'm going to have you regret the moment of your useless existence, bastard whore, and I'll make sure you will fit for your nick name, whore, since you're already a bastard.-

You spit in his face.

-I would rather die ten times rather than fuck you once!-

you chuckled noticing he didn't like that.

-It's not like you have a choice, I'll Fuck you ten times then send the proof to your family to show them what I did with their pretty little bastard, then I will marry you and make your life so unsufarable that you would wish to take your own life, but i won't allow it, I'll fill you of children you won't even want and make sure you see everyone you love die in a war started by your own family.-

The look he had when he said those words was enough proof to tell you he meant each word.

-You're cruel, I've don't nothing but be kind to you when the others treated you like you were nothing! -

You shouted out of frustration.

-I was your friend! Your niece and your family and yet you treat me with such hatred you wouldn't even treat your worst enemy!-

You let you emotions out as you struggled to stay on your feet anymore.

You struggled against him as his grip was deadly.

-So follow your sick plan! Rape me, defile and make me wish for death, but I will not grant you satisfaction to hear me plead and yell for help!-

Aemond was left without words, he didn't expect you to let it all out, but that look in your eyes and the string demanor in your voice showed him you were terrified.

-Hurt me worse than I.. Deserve and.. -

Before you could continue you felt like you couldn't stand anymore, nor stay awake.

One thing you forgot is that when you were a child you used to get sick easily, especially in rainy cold weather.

Aemond also seemed to forget, since most of the times as children the two of you spent times in the rain and than you would be bed riden for two weeks, of course, get was a child so he never understood.

You crashed in the cold stones completely losing your conscience.

Seconds later he had you in his arms, he didn't know why, he says he hates you for what you didn't do for him and that you're undeserving of his love and care , but he just can't stop himself .

Everything goes just the way he wants. He tries to brush the words you doilled seconds before your fall but they just wouldn't bulge out of his mind.

He looked at your disheveled form, hair wet and sticking to your face, clothes so cold they almost froze on your body and face so red from tears and cold.

He couldn't deny, you are the most beautiful woman he laid eyes on, but if he has to get his hands dirty to have you, than do shall it be.

/Idk bout this, who wants a second part? /

Leave requests people, I'm open to everything basically

Hope you enjoyed thisss

#aemond targaryen #aemond x y/n #aemond the kinslayer #aemond x reader #house of the dragon #hotd fanfic #hotd x you #hotd x reader #dark!aemond x reader #x reader #x yn #yandere

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foundmywei · 1 year

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Something that I've been thinking about lately: the difference in how Theo talks about Pippa compared to how he talks about Boris in his adult years.

Theo talks about Pippa like she's perfect, or at least the perfect one for him. He's convinced that she is the one he is meant to be with, the only one who could understand him. But the way he talks about her doesn't come off as love, but as an obsession instead. I'm not saying that he doesn't have any genuine love/affection towards her, I'm sure he does, but he has definitely romanticized her existence to the point that the person he thinks he's in love with is completely different than the real one. He barely knows the real Pippa because getting to know her would mean that his fantasy would dissappear. So he ignores all those things that don't match his ideal version of Pippa and talks about her like she's perfect. Her imperfections, if he mentions any, are endearing. But, still; somehow most of the times where he tries to compliment her end up sounding weird (Unexpected glimpse of her white armpits). He can't say anything about her that isn't superficial because he doesn't see her as real person but as his walking fantasy.

Meanwhile, Theo seems to want to reminds us (and himself) everything bad about Boris. He is quick to point out his faults, even when he says something nice about him or expresses his feelings about him. And surely, Boris does have a lot of faults, but it's weird how often Theo talks about them unprovoked. Like he wants to make sure everything else he says about him doesn't sound too gay. He focuses on the negatives because he is afraid of his feelings. He isn't ready to admit that despite his faults (which were numerous and spectacular), he still loves him. He likes to point out all the ways that Boris is different than him, almost like he's trying to convince himself that they belong in different worlds, like they could never work out, despite it being quite obvious that the two of them aren't very different where it counts. Regardless of these habits of his, Boris is real to him. Perhaps the problem is that Boris presence is his life forces him to acknowledge his real self too. (A self one does not want, a heart one cannot help.)

In conclusion, despite Theo's best efforts to convince himself that he's totally straight and in love with Pippa, I think it's quite obvious to everyone with enough reading compensation skills that the one he loves is Boris. He can talk shit about him and put Pippa on a pedestal all he wants; but the truth can't be hidden. Donna Tarrt told me this personally btw, don't doubt me.

#the goldfinch #boreo #theo decker #boris pavlikovsky #it's the truth #the voices told me

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h8t3-d · 1 year

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I like how in The Goldfinch the atmosphere is very distinctively different when Theo is with his supposed love interests and then with Boris.

First with Pippa he feels like he has to do everything for her, to be everything that he isn’t and it still wouldn’t be enough for her to just notice him at least as a friend. When reading those parts I felt as if Theo was suffocating. It even lead him to act like a stalker. Also the other part of me is thinking that he could have liked her so much because she was in the museum with him and her mother while she was alive and thought that she would be the only one to understand his pain.

Then in the attempts to forget about Pippa he tries to stay in a romantic relationship with Kitsey. She isn’t as straight forward as Pippa but still gives away what she’s feeling somehow without having to say it. Theo understands her better but in the end, he doesn’t love her. He tried to mainly for the sake of Mrs. Barbour and even for Kitsey herself but he isn’t that kind of person. And again the overall feeling of reading those parts just is as if he was struggling so hard to be someone he isn’t to please people he cares about but ends up confusing himself with what he really wants. He just took the easy road with Kitsey and thought it would be the best for him but it obviously never was.

And when he finally meets Boris after those 6+ years the whole mood shifts. It felt like Theo could finally breathe. He was unapologetically himself, not holding back for the sake of others because he knew Boris wouldn’t judge him. It was even weirdly romantic because Boris was supposed to be scared of Theo (because he thought Theo knew that he stole the painting) but as he saw him for the first time on the street he just couldn’t resist and called his name, then ran over to ‘Potter’, hugged him and caressed his face as if he wanted to make sure that he was real. Also the little things before their meeting that Theo did, like putting Boris’s last four digits of his phone number to a safe where he hid The Goldfinch, taking conversational Russian in college, literally anything reminding him of Boris and also being closest friend with Grisha who was the most alike to Boris out of the delivery man. But also the things that Boris did for Theo: coming to New York after all those years, clearly implying that he couldn’t stop thinking about Theo’s well being even after having kids and travelling the world. Remembering where to look for Theo even though he didn’t contact him in such a long time means he remembered a lot of details that he mentioned. When he met him on the street and his boss showed up to see the famous ‘Potter’, she mentioned Boris talking a lot about him, even calling him the name that Boris gave him which means it was true. It is the same as when Boris gave Kotku her nickname and he made everyone call her by that. Also we cannot forget the famous scene where they parted in Vegas and Boris literally kissed him on the lips. It seems though they’ve had their lives figured out but by the time they met again and saw each other they just couldn’t help remembering their suppressed feelings. Remember the line - we both knew without me saying it out loud to him … - which was of course i love you. I mainly made this post to make it more clear that these two have obvious feelings for one another regardless of their sexuality and there is no denying that.

#the goldfinch #boris #theo decker #boris pavlikovsky #theo #thoughts #boreo #kitsey barbour #pippa #love #internalised homophobia #bisexual #gay

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carduelism · 11 months

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I’m thinking it’d be cool if Theo got bitten by a spider before the explosion but like not too long beforehand where his spidey senses are fully up and running by the time the explosion actually happens but just enough before so he feels something happen before it. Like maybe ten seconds before, the hair on the back of his neck stand up and his ears go all funny and he thinks of calling out to his mother that no he’s actually going back to the anatomy lesson with her but then it’s too late.

I feel like he’s definitely have time to explore his powers in Vegas but I’m not really sure if he would make Boris aware. I mean, do you think he’d guard his abilities like he does The Goldfinch? If he does then yeah makes sense. Maybe when he’s fucked up and drunk his hands get all sticky and maybe sometimes he alerts Boris about his father entering the house before he actually does, but nothing to obvious purposefully.

If he does tell Boris, teen Boris atleast, I cannot imagine him treating Theo’s powers other than the way Chloe treats Maxine’s powers in Life Is Strange. Like he just thinks theyre fucking cool—not that they arent—and would want to test them out on dumb shit.

Also after the time skip, when Boris is looking for Theo in New York and borderline stalking him, BORIS IS SUSPICIOUS. Like HE KNOWS basically, he isnt dumb. Theo Decker walking into Hobart & Blackwell but them Spidey coming out? Oh thats a bit odd isnt it. Spidey crawling through Theo’s window, Boris spying on him down below thinking why the FUCK is The Spider Man of New York sneaking into Theo’s room? WAIT BUT ITD BE SO FUCKING FUNNY THAT HE THINKS LITTLE ANXIOUS THEO COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE SPIDERMAN, LIKE THATS IMPOSSIBLE, SO HE THINKS THAT SPIDEY IS FUCKING HOOKING UP WITJ THEO OR SOMETHING. Shit thats good.

#idea splurg #spidey theo or whatever fuck #the goldfinch #tgf #tgf spiderman au

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angelofthepage · 1 year

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Things you might want to know before BATDR releases (in terms of lore)

I've had a lot of conversations in different corners of the fandom about the Bendy books, Boris and the Dark Survival, and now the BATDR trailer, and I think I've got a pretty solid grip on what those pieces of media tried to do to set the stage for this next story. So today I'm gonna go through the pieces and put together a guide with all the details I think you'll want to know for BATDR. We'll see how this holds up on November 15th.

Warning, spoilers for BATIM, Boris and the Dark Survival (BATDS), The Employee Handbook, Dreams Come to Life (DCTL), The Illusion of Living (TIOL), The Lost Ones (TLO), and Crack Up Comics ahead.

Our story begins at the end of Bendy and the Ink Machine. Henry makes it to the machine, he plays a tape that says "The End" after a brutal fight with the inky beast and a monologue from Joey about how he can fix everything. When the boss fight ends and the screen erupts in light, we see Henry enter Joey Drew's apartment. A calendar on the kitchen wall indicates that the year is 1963, the month is August (the calendar date actually changes randomly per playthrough to show it's any day in August except the 31st, you cannot get the 31st to load).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgWN7R4-wPw&t=298s

The bulletin boards are where I want to draw your attention. I'm going to focus on Allison's letter, because it gives us this nugget: she's working for Arch Gate. This was the first time we'd ever heard of Arch Gate, and it didn't have much meaning then, but now it does.

We get a few more disconnected pieces in Boris and the Dark Survival. BATDS is a game where you play as Boris (or a Lost One or Sammy) walking through the studio to collect a set list of supplies for the safehouse. There are other collectibles hiding in lockers, Boris corpses' chests, etc, that give us a number of things to think on. The Milla Legna tapes give us an interesting story that I believe might be tied to Susie Campbell's backstory, but nothing is confirmed. What I'm going to focus on are Wally and Sammy's details. By collecting hidden pieces of pipes, we can assemble a mini game that has a high score set by Wally Franks. If we manage to beat his score, we can an audio log from Joey where he sounds extremely nervous. He begs his friend Nathan to help him out with financial trouble. This was the first time we heard of Nathan, but it won't be the last. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2savP-5Y4BY

Additionally, once we've unlocked Sammy (by finding his candles and mask to summon him), we can play as him, and he has two unique abilities. One is that he can teleport through cracks in the walls (which is necessary given he's the only character who can't run), the other is that he can play instruments in the hallway. There's a code for the instruments above where you place his mask (fun Easter egg, it's the same code that originally got us his secret lines in the pre-update version of Chapter 3), and if you play instruments throughout the level, you'll get an audio log from the Unknown Voice to tease Dark Revival.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7UG4H4XVng

The Unknown Voice has also appeared on the JDS YouTube page with this mysterious audio log.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFpgqSnE7zQ&list=PL5adzFCvE4-8cJXkyv9eqp0pOLQPmEamN

If this voice sounds familiar, it's because we've heard him in both of the BATDR trailers, and now we have a face for him. Many suspected this was Sammy, the Ink Demon, or Nathan before this point, but it looks like this fellow might be named Wilson (assuming the guy on the posters and this dude are meant to be the same, I would not be surprised if there's something impostor-y happening). His voice actor is still being kept a secret at this time.

Turning to the books, there's not a lot for me to note from DCTL at this time. This book takes place in summer of 1946 and follows protagonist Buddy Lewek as he becomes a gofer for the studio and ultimately ends up falling into Joey's schemes. The big things we get in this one do more to further our understanding of BATIM, such as telling us why Henry left the studio ala Norman (to spend more time with his wife, Linda). We learn that Sammy got addicted to drinking ink and starting sacrificing people once enough of it was in his system, hearing voices, we get Norman's death off-screen along with most of the art department (save for Abby, we'll talk about Abby in a bit), we find out Joey purchased a theater to expand the JDS building, and we learn part of what the machine is for. Joey wants to bring his characters to life, in part to have meet-able mascots at Bendyland, the upcoming project he pitches to investors (and the scene where he refers to Bertrum as Bertie and pisses him off, we actually get to see it happening in real time!). We also get a cryptic mention from Allison at the party to not forget what happened to Susie when talking to Buddy, to which he responds "who's Susie?" This is important, we know Buddy has never met Susie within this year and that Allison is the voice of Alice Angel by this point.

We know thanks to the Crack Up Comics’ introduction that by 1972, Joey Drew is believed to be dead, and Nathan Arch, head of Arch Gate Studios (a location we see mentioned a few times in the background of the BATDR trailer) has purchased the rights and assets for Bendy. Nathan is a steel and oil tycoon, never having shown a real interest in cartoons before, so why would he do this? Thanks to the JDS website’s press archives, he tells us it’s to keep Joey’s legacy alive, but is that the full truth?

https://www.joeydrewstudios.com/archive

We assume he wants it for the ink machine, it’s an invaluable piece of technology. But we also see several things in the trailer and on the JDS website that point to media preservation. A museum dedicated to Bendy’s history, a banner advertising “Joey Drew The Man and The Demon,” which sounds like a documentary. Even the animation cell we see Audrey working on is taken from the cartoon Cheap Seats, the first time we as fans got to see Alice speak in a cartoon. TIOL and the Crack Up Comics are framed as being projects that archive Joey’s legacy with the way that they’re released, and while Nathan tells us that he hasn’t messed with The Illusion of Living (which was originally released as Joey’s memoir in 1942 in-universe, right as Bendyland was being conceptualized and Joey got into contact with Bertrum), we don’t know how truthful it is. His anecdotes and annotations within Joey’s memoir do leave you wondering just how good of friends they really were. It begs a lot of questions, what is Arch Gate up to? I get the sense the motivation is a little bit of wanting the machine for a greater purpose and another piece achieving Joey’s dream where he could not, bringing cartoons to life. But we can’t be sure. There’s a lot we have questions on for BATDR, but I suspect it’ll be an exciting ride going into it. The one question I have is will we see Abby Lambert.

For those who don’t know, Abby is a very important character to the books. She’s a friend of Joey’s in the late 20s, an artist who’s not super traditional (she wears a lot of men’s suits and I believe was described as having short hair?), and she’s responsible for connecting Joey and Henry. Upon going to an art show where Henry’s work was on display with Abby, Joey started getting ideas about producing cartoons. Then he tried to come up with main character’s concept, and Abby tried to draw it but missed the mark. So she invited Henry over to help, which Joey was a little miffed about since he didn’t want a lot of people to know yet, but with a little back and forth and critique, Bendy was born (and apparently he’s named after a dead photographer from the detective story in this memoir, but that’s a rabbit hole I’m not ready to go down). After that, Joey and Henry start JDS together, and after Henry’s left, Abby is finally available to come on and works as the head of the art department (according to Joey). He talks to highly of her in TIOL, but when we see her in DCTL, she’s exhausted, frustrated, and he’s kind of dismissive of her when Buddy’s caught stealing from the department. Abby is important to the history of some of our central characters, and while I don’t think we should need the books to understand BATDR, I do hope she makes an appearance with some context. Bendy exists because of three people, it feels like she should be there. That’s all I have for now for details you might have missed from the books and spinoffs that I suspect will be relevant to this game. Here’s wishing you all a fun time with BATDR tomorrow (2 AM EST on Steam to be exact), beware the ink demon!

#bendy and the dark revival #batdr #batdr theories #bendy theories #bendy summary #bendy #bendy and the ink machine #batdr trailer spoilers #I told you I'd get it posted in time!#sorry for cutting it close #it's been a MESSY couple of weeks here

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thelighthousestale · 5 months

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Unresolved Questions Of Wizard Cosmology

The British Magical Observatory in Greenwich was a true marvel of celestial wonders. Once a wizard or witch entered the building through the brick wall of an abandoned bank they were overwhelmed by the site of enchanted diagrams and whirling instruments that flew through the air with moving illustrations that depicted galaxies swirling and stars twinkling in mesmerizing patterns high above their heads.

Orion Black, a tall and distinguished wizard wearing dark green robes and a wide purple-brimmed hat, guided his eldest son through the observatory. Ten-year-old Sirius was practically skipping with excitement, thrilled to be spending the afternoon with his father in one of his favorite places in London.

Of course, Orion was a very important wizard and it wasn't long until he found himself engaged in conversation with a portly fellow with a huge handlebar mustache. Mr. Selwyn, Sirius recognized him from the Wizengamot Christmas Party his parents took him to the past December. It was a rather dull party, no one else had brought children his age but he remembered Mr. Selwyn who had a bit of mushroom cap stuck in his mustache while he talked to the Minister of Magic. As his father and Mr. Selwyn exchanged greetings Sirius slipped away unnoticed and walked toward a model of the universe that was constantly growing larger in its case and then with a flash shrunk down again and started to grow to the perimeter of the glass box once more.

Above the glass box the words The Origin of the Cosmos, was etched onto a plaque. Sirius walked a bit closer so he could read the description more easily.

The beginning of the universe was an explosion of space, which has been expanding and cooling ever since.

Sirius absorbed magical knowledge, all knowledge if he could get it but he was only allowed books on the wizarding world at home, with great hunger. His appetite to learn more, to understand was rarely ever satiated. Once he found an answer to one question the result usually led him down the road of several more questions he needed to answer. And he felt a restlessness vibrate through his body until he fully understood the answer.

In essence, the expanding magical universe is a testament to the dynamic nature of magical forces, continuously shaping and reshaping the cosmos in a dance of enchantment and discovery.

As he read the exhibit text he could faintly hear his father's conversation.

"Now, Selwyn, why is the latest muggle relations bill taking so long? I've heard from Crouch that it isn't even out of the sub-committee yet."

"Oh, you know very well I have no control of what comes out of the sub-committee. It shouldn't be a surprise though, most moderates on the bench find it to be a controversial piece of law. We might have to do a few more weeks of convincing Wizengamot Members that this is about the protection of our community, not punishing the muggles."

As wizards and witches peer into the night sky, they are not just observing distant stars but witnessing the ever-unfolding story of magical creation itself.

Sirius could tell his father was getting impatient. He had been lobbying for this bill for more than a year.

"Selwyn, I fear Doge is a lost cause, we cannot get him to vote with us. Just the other day he was ranting about the supposed ethical dilemma of subjacating a group on a 'supposed superiority'. He refuses to see reason."

If the bill didn't get passed at the next Wizengamot session Sirius could picture his father locked up in his office with a brandy. Sending owls and scheming for the next opportunity.

It's worth noting that the expansion of the universe does not mean that galaxies are moving through space. Instead, it's the very fabric of space itself that is stretching, carrying galaxies along with it.

Sirius continued to walk around the exhibit while trying to block out the voices of his father and Mr. Selwyn. He found his parents' constant chatter politics and wizarding culture boring. He wished his father had more interesting friends who wanted to discuss astronomy or dragons or quidditch. Mr. Swlewyn was as dull as he was sweaty in Sirius' observation.

Dark energy is a mysterious form of energy that is thought to permeate space and counteracts the attractive force of gravity, driving the acceleration of cosmic expansion.

However, the nature of dark energy remains one of the major unresolved questions in cosmology.

After Orion instructed Mr. Selwyn on how to proceed with ensuring more votes, he finally took notice of his young son and approached Sirius. Orion placed a firm grip on his son's slender shoulder. "Sirius, my boy, what has captured your attention so thoroughly?" Orion inquired, whether he sounded amused or impatient Sirius couldn't decide.

Sirius looked up with, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Father, did you know that the universe is getting bigger and bigger all the time? And along with it, magic keeps expanding everywhere! No one knows how it came to be or when it will stop. Muggles and Wizards have been studying the stars for thousands of years and we still haven't figured it out" He pointed to the text he had been reading.

Sirius's eyes gleamed with a sense of discovery as his fingers traced the outline of galaxies on the wall. "It is interesting, isn't it? Maybe one day I'll become an astronomer and I'll figure out how it all started." He felt a tightening in his chest as he spoke. Yes, perhaps he'd be the one to finally solve the puzzle that has perplexed man for thousands of years. It would be quite exciting to do so, he thought.

His father's grip became tighter on his shoulder. "Don't be silly, Sirius. Astronomy is a wonderful hobby but it is not a suitable career for you. You are a Black, after all. That means something."

Orion gave a strong heavy clap to Sirius' shoulder and turned on his heel facing away from his son. "Come, we must get going home. Your mother is hosting the Burke's this evening and you will need to look presentable."

Sirius gave one last look at the contracting and expanding map of the universe before he followed his father out of the observatory and into the warm light of the summer day.

"...a mysterious form of energy... counteracts the attractive force of gravity, driving the acceleration of cosmic expansion..."

#harry potter fanfiction #sirius balck #padfoot #orion black #black family #sirius black fanfiction

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usbotthrills · 2 years

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Why the people who have only watched the film might not ship Boreo…

Now I’m sure we’ve all met that one person, whose seen the Goldfinch film, and yet is insisting that both Boris and Theo are straight. Now I know this sounds crazy, but I THINK I’ve figure out why and it’s not JUST their stupid little heterosexuality.

1. A lot of the major Boreo scenes, that are blatant hints to the fact they are not straight in the slightest, have been taken away from the book. This obviously includes the mention of the ‘confusing and fucked-up nights, grappling around half dressed… hands on each other, rough and fast’ (pg 335). This also includes Theo’s OBVIOUS jealousy at Kotku (who isn’t in the film???but that’s a whole other issue).

2.As well as the fact that they present Theo’s ‘love’ for Pippa, as genuine strong love, rather than the attempt to connect to his mother (which it is, I’ve done another post about it if you don’t believe me). This means that some people are too convinced of Pippa and Theo being good for each other, that they are almost blind to Boreo.

3. You cannot hear the characters thoughts a lot of the time. Which really changes things when we get to this scene…

In the book, not only do we have this kiss but we also have Theo’s internal monologue, which is (in case you couldn’t tell) VERY gay. People can’t really see the fact that feeling a are reciprocated here, with Theo thinking that he ‘stopped myself from blurting the thing on the edge of my tongue… which was, of course, I love you’ (pg 395).

4. Finn Wolfhard is oblivious to the fact that every one of his characters is in love with his bestfriend and CLEARLY he hasn’t read the book. So, YES, part of this argument is just blaming his acting for Boris. It was a brilliant performance, we can all agree on that but I think it could have been a little gayer, to really fit with the character written in the book, you know?

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk *bows*

#the goldfinch #Theo decker #boris pavlikovsky #theo decker is gay #theodore decker is gay #theodore decker #boreo #the goldfinch film #the goldfinch book #analysis #the goldfinch analysis

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theomnicode · 2 years

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I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. The time travel part simply doesn't convince me yet, even if it was the only way to save everyone.

The important bit to take away here is that it setups for the future (hah). Deus ex machina to allow people to live that could have been done in multiple different ways and still allow Garou redemption, but specifically we're going to go with time travel.

I too, dislike time travel as means of asspull, but in this sense it is actually important and well executed. And they don't want to show us all their cards yet that I have theorised about.

Bunch of theorycrafting spoilers ahead about why I think time traveling shenanigans becomes actually important to the narrative.

(Also I think its stupidly funny that Boris first got retconned irl and then from canon universe by Saitama rewriting it)

Garou gained powers from God. Who can manipulate all the forces in the universe. Which includes time traveling.

Saitama also got the power to time travel from Garou now.

So not only they have powers to time travel, even if Saitama does not remember any of that, it means they have similar powers now.

Power that Garou could not perfect, because he's not a being of unlimited potential.

Unlike Saitama who could.

But God no doubt, has perfected it. He's the one who gave Garou powers.

It also means that God is definitely also a similarly, unlimited being of growth potential with a removed limiter. Because he can do the same thing.

Confirming that opm god is indeed an omniscient, omnipotent and omniversal being.

What is stopping God from just time traveling and erasing everything from existence because it has such power?

Probably not much more than the fact that it's still under dimensional lock and key. So it cannot use such powers to full potential, which is why it needs avatars and outside means.

But also, to avoid time paradoxes.

Wonder who could have even sealed such a being who seems to be not just a match for saitama's uncapped growth potential, but also can travel in time and seems to be omniscient and omnipotent?

My hypothesis is that God itself probably imposed it's own exile. Before it lost it's last shreds of sanity and emotions and humanity and became a monster, like Genus and Garou confirm what happens when a being breaks their limiter and then reaches this level of power.

Something that Garou specifically notes could have happened to Saitama on this chapter.

Garou being a quick thinker as he is, comes to a very uncomfortable realisation that ominous future is not just about stopping himself from getting god's powers and using them. But it's also about preserving Saitama's sanity.

If it requires a being of uncapped growth potential to achieve time travel, there's two such beings, God and Saitama.

But uncapped potential also means that Saitama could become like God. If he continued down that path.

#opm #opm spoilers #one punch man #opm meta discussion #opm meta theory #opm god #saitama #garou #opm manga panels #asks

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year

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i've started watching the last leg because you speak so highly of it, and i'm obsessed. my current thoughts are:

-you're right, adam hills would be amazing on taskmaster. -i cannot believe they had boris johnson on. like. i saw it happen and yet its so bizarre to me. -adam and alex doing impersonations of josh made me choke on my sandwich laughing why are impressions of him always so funny -i've only seen josh on taskmaster and hypothetical, but the more i find out about him the more it feels like im looking in a mirror (english, short, unruly hair, scared of balloons, wearer of plaid shirts, strange hand gestures, sits on one foot etc) -adams many attempts at accents never cease to amuse me. i think my favourite so far is "i'm absolutely devasted... and slightly south african" from the greek financial crisis bit. -live shows normally make me anxious because you cant cut out awkward moments but i genuinely love when you can hear one of them (usually alex tbh) still giggling at a joke in the background even when they move onto another section. -i feel like now they've definitely gotten into their stride but i do miss the early series "what the hell are we doing" vibes (i really want to watch the og 2012 series but i get the impression that thats lost forever.) -i spent five series waiting for the sofa's awkwardly positioned armrest to catch someone out, thanks alan davies i knew i could rely on you to comically sit on thin air

sorry this is so long, i've completely fallen in love with this show and i feel like i could go on forever. anyway basically yeah thank you so much for making this show accessible and talking about it because now my entertainment is sorted for at least the next month.

This is an absolutely lovely message, thank you for writing it! First of all, never apologize for dropping something like this in my inbox (or ask box, or whatever). If you like something I like, I love hearing about that! If you like something like that and it’s because my blog got you into it, telling me that gives me all the fun of getting to talk about things I like, plus I love knowing this blog is helpful in spreading good things! Genuinely, that’s awesome.

Also, just in general, I am the last person to whom anyone should apologize for writing something that's too long. Every once in a while I'll see a post on Tumblr that's tagged "long post" and is shorter than my average one, and I remember that I was not built for the Twitter generation. I actually work as an editor in real life, where I make sure all writing is tightened up and concise, and then I come on here and do not give one fuck about that. I love seeing others do the same.

- With Franke Boyle already cast, Adam Hills may have moved into the number one spot as my dream Taskmaster contestant. Not because he’s my very favourite comedian who’s never done Taskmaster (I mean he’s up there, just not quite number one), but because of all the comedians who’ve never done Taskmaster, I think he has the personality that would be most suited for the format. And by “personality suited to the format”, I mean obsessively competitive, with a penchant for showing off at every opportunity.

- It’s hard for me to justify how much I enjoyed their Boris Johnson interview, because I realize that’s an actual issue. “Comedy washing” politicians by putting them on entertainment shows that make them seem more fun and palpable, and to raise their public profile. Boris Johnson in particular did a bunch of that for he rose through political ranks, the big one being Have I Got News For You. My best justification for The Last Leg’s Boris Johnson interview is that they were only in their second season when they had him on, a weird late-night talk show that hadn’t gained traction yet, so they can’t have contributed much to his publicity. But still, it’s something they’re guilty of in general at times. With other members of Boris Johnson’s family, and Sayeeda Warsi, Alastair Campbell, a few others. Now that I think about it I guess the interview that Alex Brooker did with Nick Clegg in 2015 counts as that, even though I thought that entire interview was very well done and I enjoyed watching it.

Disclaimer aside, the Boris Johnson episode was really interesting, though. Really weird that they got him on when they were so new to it, new enough so he raised their profile more than they raised his, which is kind of a defense from comedy washing. I loved watching the three hosts find different ways of responding to him. Adam Hills getting excited about the opportunity to try to show off journalism skills, which he sort of did okay but then messed up a few times. Josh Widdicombe just awkwardly looking from one of them to the other, like he couldn’t believe it was happening. And Alex Brooker just entertained that the man with funny hair from TV was in the room with them.

The Nick Clegg one was done better. I enjoyed the tension between the politician trying to seem fun among comedians, and the comedians trying to be intellectual enough to justify having the Deputy Prime Minister on their show, and both sides clearly having no confidence in their ability to do that to the other side’s standards. But Adam pulled him into some good back-and-forth, successfully hit a couple of things that he’d swung at and missed in the Boris Johnson episodes (to use a sort of clumsy sports analogy). And when they sat down for the actual interview, I thought Alex did a genuinely good job of asking questions well and making him respond properly. It’s still probably not good that it happened. But it did, and it doesn’t add to any damage done if you or I watch those episodes now and enjoy them. I don’t think Nick Clegg is exactly poised to make a big comeback on the strength of how human and engaging he seemed on that one episode of The Last Leg in 2015, and any comebacks from Johnson will not be fueled by that.

- Okay, sorry about the above paragraphs, I did not mean to go negative in a post about a show that I, by and large, very very much like. Josh Widdicombe impressions! Josh Widdicombe impressions are funny and do not in any way contribute to the collapse of British civilization! Have you seen this compilation of Josh Widdicombe impressions, put together by someone on Reddit? It’s really entertaining. Adam’s entire repertoire of Josh impressions consists of putting a hand on his hip and saying “Pret a Manger”, it’s great.

- The number of weird little things about Josh Widdicombe is a bit amazing. The leg sitting thing combined with the hand gestures. The inability to sing or do accents, but sometimes he gives it a go. The fear of anything that makes a noise. The plaid shirts are lesbian appropriation that I do not mind one bit. By which I mean it turns out my sexual orientation is "mainly attracted to women, can make an exception for men who look enough like lesbians".

- All of Adam Hills’ accents end up a bit South African, no matter how they start. Including when he’s imitating Australian people, and does a weird thing where he sounds like an English person pretending to have an Australian accent, and it still ends up South African. Also great.

- The element of their show being live does add to it at times. Especially in early episodes, when none of them were quite used to it yet. I used to be unnerved by how often it would feel like Josh was making eye contact with me, until I realized there was a screen right above the camera that showed what it was filming, and he kept self-consciously using it as a mirror. Fucking adorable. I mean all of those early episodes were adorable. Just Adam Hills desperately trying to capitalize on this chance of finally getting his own show and wanting to make it run smoothly and well, and Baby Josh and Baby Alex pretty much spent the first eight-ish seasons just like:

Oh, and I love how much Alex Brooker's inability to stop laughing on cue it on display in the live format. Which is also on display in this compilation, by that same Reddit person, which I'm sure you'd like if you haven't seen it. Highlights how sometimes a joke will just completely take Alex apart, and he doesn't seem to have a lot of control over how fast he puts himself back together, which can be a problem when Adam's trying to read the next autocue bit so the show can stay on schedule.

I've looked around for the London 2012 episodes before, and they may be lost to history. I am glad the Rio 2016 episodes were out there, though. Those are some of my favourite episodes of the whole show, they were all on top form during the actual Paralympics. It's too bad they had to change things for Tokyo; I hope they get to go to Paris and do that again.

- I miss the awkward impractical sofa. I hoped they'd have it back by now, having switched to a much more reasonable seating arrangement during COVID. Go back to being weird and impractical, guys.

Again, I'm really glad you've enjoyed it! This show has its ups and downs, and legitimate criticisms of it (from the same criticisms that could be leveled at any light entertainment/talk show that can be formulaic at times, to some more serious stuff, I was really unhappy with their post-queen death episode), but my God, it is so much fun! I just really, really like all three of those people, and that can carry the show through just about anything. Positive aspects of the show can also range from the lighthearted (three comedians with very good chemistry having fun together) to something deeper (they make fun of people lauding Important Disability Representation, and rightly so because there's a lot of inspiration porn bullshit that needs undercutting, but also, it is genuinely important disability representation, drawing attention to para sport athletes who otherwise wouldn't have mainstream coverage, and once in a blue moon we get genuinely touching moments related to that). The Last Leg at its best is this genre of TV show at its best.

Again, thanks for that, I will always be happy for an opportunity to talk about this show. And it makes me very happy to know I got someone else into it, that's awesome!

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summeroffice · 5 months

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youtube

Популярная политика with Dmitry Nizovtsev

11:13 What if an athlete is of Russian origin but represents another country, that is, there is Anastasiia Gubanova, the European champion in figure skating, she is training in St. Petersburg, but represents Georgia at the Olympics in the near future. Is this not a problem for Ukraine? For example, if they represent, come with a different passport?

It is a problem. Of course, it's a problem. If the athlete changed his sports citizenship before the war as such, based on the need to get better training process, well, or for ideological reasons, he left Russia long before the full-scale invasion, this is another situation. This suggests that this athlete has values, he understands what he did long before the actual opportunism of sports citizenship in order to get the opportunity to do everything after all, as a Russian, in essence, citizen to compete, so of course this is a problem because this is such a fictitious attempt to evade the unconditional responsibility for the fact that you are a citizen of the country that is a murderer.

Well, I don't want to [argue with you], in general, for the record, I don't agree [Mykhailo smiles] because it seems to me that if a person changed his citizenship after the war and went away. Well, that means he showed that he is against Putin. Therefore, let's remain at different opinions.

I also want to know something from you, we talked about sports. I want to ask you about culture. The Ministry of Culture of Ukraine published a statement asking to stop distributing the [Russian] series "Слово пацана" [The Word of a Boy]. I don't know if you have time to watch it [Podolyak shakes head, smiles and says no], probably not. I honestly didn't have time to watch it but, nevertheless. It's already considered a cult enough, there's probably the 2 of us who didn't have time to watch it, the rest have already watched it.

But nevertheless, the series is very popular and is watched in Russia and as much as I know in Ukraine, too, as far as the possibility of the Internet allows. But the Ministry of Culture is still against this series. Do you also think this is correct, considering that, well, Russia is shown from an unsightly point of view, and it cannot be said that someone will go to recruit to the front and to the war and will join Putin's army.

Well, recruitment is not a problem here. I would be ready to discuss another series with you, "Breaking Bad", it would probably be more interesting [he gives a toothy smile]. I still...

[Smiles] We'll discuss "How I Met Your Mother" next time, later.

I have always been in a slightly different cultural environment. But to be honest, I'm not ready, you know, in such a [Russian novelist Boris] Pasternak style, didn't read "Doctor Zhivago" but is ready to say that it's disgusting literature [it was not allowed to be published in the USSR]. I would not want to be like these characters, critics, literary critics, right, that are well described by Bulgakov in МАССОЛИТ, right, and so on.

But, you know, for me another aspect is a little more important. We are now talking about a propagandist effect, that is, if it is a quality product, it is in any case in solidarity with the ideology of the country of the producer, right, an art product. And of course it can show the content of the 90s in an impartial light, right, conditionally, but nevertheless, it will somehow subconsciously demand attention to this period, to this country, to its worldview, to such a collective universe, and here I kind of understand the position of our Ministry of Culture and share it to some extent and so on.

Although, you know, I am much more loyal, let's say, to any cultural product because I believe that when you have a certain level of maturity, right, a certain level of adulthood, I would even call it that way today, then you're ready to put the correct ratings on any product yourself, evaluate it and properly draw conclusions and accordingly, I am against closure, bans, but unfortunately human history knows a lot of stories about the ban of this or that book, right, or this or that work.

Let me remind you of "The Satanic Verses" of Rushdie for example, which brought a great tragedy to Rushdie himself, right. That is, after all, the attempt on his life was quite successful at one time, and so on. There are dozens of such examples, I would even say hundreds in the entire history of mankind. And I don't see that humanity somehow draw conclusions from the fact that it prohibits and why does it prohibit.

#mykhailo podolyak #Dmitry Nizovtsev #Популярная политика #Youtube

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starlyte-writes · 9 months

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It’s that time again! Star info dumps about her D&D stuff despite nobody asking for it! This time I’m giving one section from each song on the playlist I made for my main character Nova that I think best shows why I picked that song for her.

Right, LET’S GO!

1) I’m Sorry by Swell:

So, bad first example, there’s only one line in this entire song, but mostly focus on the title and the vibe

2) Cut My Hair by Mounika and Cavetown:

Are you, you tired of me yet?

3) Saw Her Standing by Ballyhoo!

Left me standing here / Eyes welled up with tears / Drowning me alive in all my fears

4) Happy Pills by Weathers

I’m happy all the time / I’m happy all the time / I love my girl but she ain’t worth the price / She ain’t worth the price / No, she ain’t worth the price

5) Saint Bernard by Lincoln

You always said how you love dogs / I don’t know if I count, but I’m trying my best / When I’m howling and barking these songs

6) Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots

My name’s Blurryface and I care what you think / My name’s Blurryface and I care what you think

7) Don’t You Give Up by Dansu

I don’t need no problems, oh, I just want sunny sky / I cannot live without you by my side / Don’t give up, don’t you give up on me / Don’t give up, don’t you give up on me

8) Your Sister Was Right by Wilbur Soot

Every time that I miss you / I feel the way you hurt / And I don’t deserve you / You deserve the world

9) Saline Solution by Wilbur Soot

If I could just break one more night / Maybe I could wake up and feel alright

10) Since I Saw Vienna by Wilbur Soot

The roads are my home, horizon’s my target / If I keep on moving, never lose sight of it / Treating my memory of you like a fire / Let it burn out, don’t fight it, and try to move on

11) Losing Face by Wilbur Soot

Well, I don’t know what I’m to do / Yes, I don’t know what I’ll fuckin’ do / I’ve lost all meaning / I’ve lost my sense of hope

I don’t care, I want you here / As long as you’re happy, I don’t care

12) I’m Sorry Boris by Wilbur Soot

I can’t believe that I’m leaving / I don’t think I want to leave you / I don’t think I want to leave you here alone

13) Disappear by Candlebard

Carries the world on his back, standing tall / Fearing one day, he’ll drop them all / Oh, he burns from the inside / When he sees himself sink

My memories are melting to foam (Disappear) / Watch me ruin another place I called home (Disappear) / On your face, the light dies (Ah) / As you gaze up in fear / And I watch it all / Disappear

14) Cause for Concern by Lovejoy

You could eat the foam from the headrest (I said there’s no cause for-) / You could knock the wind out of my breath (I said there’s no cause for-) / And you could kick the teeth into my head / Still, there’s no cause for concern

15) People I Don’t Like by UPSAHL

Hello, it’s so good to see you / We met before but nice to meet you / Yeah, I don’t really wanna be here like, ah-ah-ah-ah

16) Smile by Ukuletea

You don’t need to cry / Or show me sympathy / Don’t waste your time on me / I’m used to being alone / So step away from me

17) I DONT TRUST U ANYMORE by Left at London

I remember the days when / Your retched image didn’t make me sick / And I wish it could still be like that / But / I don’t trust you anymore / I don’t trust you anymore / I don’t trust you anymore / I don’t trust you anymore / I don’t trust you anymore / I don’t trust you anymore / You won’t trust us anyway

18) & by Tally Hall

Weak & Strong & / Wet & Dry & / Right & Wrong & / Live & Die & / Sane & Gone & / Love & Not & / All the &s that we forgot

19) Seventeen by Peach Pit

There’s something dark hangin’ over my head / I’m seventeen, don’t hold your breath

20) All Eyes On Me by Bo Burnham

Hey, come on, get your fuckin’ hands up / Get on out of your seats / All eyes on me, all eyes on me, yeah / Heads down, pray for me / Heads down now, pray for me

21) That Funny Feeling by Bo Burnham

Total disassociation, fully out your mind / Googling derealization, hating what you find / That unapparent summer air in early fall / The quiet comprehending of the ending of it all

22) Redesign Your Logo (Bonus Track) by Lemon Demon

Redesign your logo, we know what we’re doing / We are here to help you, everything’s connected / Time is of the essence, we live in the future / Color makes us hungry, everything’s connected

23) Mrs Narcissistic by The Royston Club

Why do I risk it all for you / For you / You talk with such venom in your words / Always fighting to be heard / With blatant disregard for what we fought for

24) overwhelmed by Royal & the Serpent

Feels like I’m somebody else / I get overwhelmed / All of these faces who don’t know what space is / And crowds are shut down, I’m over-stimulated / Nobody gets it, say I’m too sensitive / I can’t listen cause I’m eyeing the exits

25) It’s Raining Somewhere Else by Toby Fox

No lyrics in this song but again the ~vibes~

26) Don’t Forget by Toby Fox

That’s still shining in the cold / With the truth / The promise in our hearts / Don’t forget / I’m with you in the dark

(basically the whole song but these lines especially)

27) Don’t Look Back In Anger - Remastered by Oasis

Where nobody knows / If it’s night or day / But please don’t put your life in the hands / Of a rock and roll band / Who’ll throw it all away

28) You’ll Understand When You’re Older by Lovejoy

If I’m goin’ down you’re coming with me / And you think that it gets better / Just you wait until next week / You’re keeping a dark secret / But you’re talking in your sleep

29) Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott

Here’s the thing, I can’t do anything right / Try as I absolutely, totally might

And I’m not your protagonist / I’m not even my own / I don’t know anything / I don’t even know what I don’t know

30) Karma by AJR

Cause I’ve been so good, I’ve been working my ass off / I’ve been so good, still, I’m lonely and stressed out / I’ve been so good, I’ve been so good this year / And I’ve been so good, but it’s still getting harder / I’ve been so good, where the hell is the karma? / I’ve been so good, I’ve been so good this year

31) Era by Halfy & Winks

An era, life is calling but we stay / An era, time is ticking as it may / An era, oh, I hope and wish and pray / This era will never fade away

32) Camp Adventure by Delta Sleep

How’s one meant to grow / When walls keep caving in / The ceiling above us / Has denied its existence in / Of all the times we tried / I’ve still be up all night / Writing songs of you

33) A Burning Hill by Mitski

I’m tired of wanting more / I think I’m finally worn / For you have a way of promising things / And I’ve been a forest fire / I am a forest fire / And I am the fire and I am the forest / And I am a witness watching it

34) I Can’t Handle Change by R.O.A.R.

I can’t help but repeat myself / I know it’s not your fault / Still lately, I begin to shake / For no reason at all

35) Birds (ft. Terrence Williams Jr.) by Thomas Sanders

I wanna watch from somewhere undisturbing / Quiet, calm, still / Sit right here and gaze at the unknown / I don’t wanna fly in the sky, I just wanna be alone / It’s not a big deal or anything / I just wanna be alone

36) Home (Music Box) by Toby Fox

Again, vibes, but also the title is important

37) Anchor by Mindy Gledhill

There are those who think that I’m strange / They would box me up and tell me to change / But you hold me close and softly say / That you wouldn’t have me any other way

38) On the Borderline by Thomas Sanders

I’m standing on the borderline / What should I bring or leave behind / From who I was / For who I’m gonna be?

39) That Distant Shore (ft. Jennifer Paz) by Steven Universe

I thought I’d stay a while / I tried to learn to smile / So many colors I had never even known / Maybe I’ll find myself sitting on that distant shore / Maybe I’m not alone

40) How Does A Moment Last Forever (Music Box) by Kevin Kline

How does a moment last forever? / How can a story never die? / It is love we must hold onto / Never easy, but we try

41) feelings are fatal by mxmtoon

I’m happy for you, I’m smiling for you / I’d do anything for you, for you / It’s always for you and never for me / And I need it to stop, so let me tell you, please / I’m always sad and I’m always lonely / But I can’t tell you that I’m breaking slowly

42) I’m Just Your Problem (ft. Olivia Olson) by Adventure Time

It’s like I’m not even a person, am I? / I’m just your problem, well / I shouldn’t have to justify what I do / I shouldn’t have to prove anything to you / I’m sorry that I exist / I forget what landed me on your blacklist, but / I shouldn’t have to be the one that makes up with you, so

43) Show & Tell by Melanie Martinez

Why is it so hard to see? (Why?) / If I cut myself, I would bleed (kill me) / I’m just like you, you’re like me / Imperfect and human, are we?

Buy and sell (buy and sell) / Like I’m a product to society / Art don’t sell / Unless you fucked every authority / Show and tell / Why can’t you fucking hear me?

44) Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish

I don’t relate to you / I don’t relate to you, no / Cause I’d never treat me this shitty / You made me hate this city

45) Lost Cause by Billie Eilish

Something’s in the air right now / Like I’m losing track of time / Like I don’t really care right now, but maybe that’s fine / You weren’t even there that day / I was waitin’ on you

46) xanny by Billie Eilish

What is it about them? / I must be missing something / They just keep doing nothing / Too intoxicated to be scared / Better off without them / They’re nothing but unstable / Bring ashtrays to the table / And that’s about the only thing they share

47) idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish

Losing feeling is getting old / Was I made from a broken mold? / Hurt, I can’t shake / We’ve made every mistake / Only you know the way that I break

If “I love you” was a promise / Would you break it, if you’re honest? / Tell the mirror what you know she’s heard before / I don’t wanna be you / I don’t wanna be you / I don’t wanna be you / Anymore

48) listen before i go by Billie Eilish

Tell me, love is endless, don’t be so pretentious / Leave me, like you do (like you do) / If you need me / Wanna see me / Better hurry / Cause I’m leaving soon / Sorry, can’t save me now / Sorry, I don’t know how

49) Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County

The great protector / Is that what I’m supposed to be? / What if all this counts for nothin’ / Everything I thought I’d be? / What if by the time I realize / It’s too far behind to see?

50) Stressed Out by Rex Orange County

I let them take control and take me for a fool / It’s such a shame / I never said a word and all time that I waited was a waste / They wanna see me stressed out every day, I know it

51) The Owl House: Lilith’s Fight Song “Black Enchantress” (Fanmade) by Frostfm

This one’s on here cause one of the players in our party asked what our battle theme would be during a fight and this is what I chose for Nova (and happened to find a version of it on Spotify so dope!)

52) Lavender’s Blue by Nursery Rhymes 123

Nova’s father used to always sing this song to her as a child so I put it on the playlist 🥺

53) Feel Better by Penelope Scott

Cause someone loved me, someone fucking loved me / Someone fucking loved me, and I loved them too / Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin’ earned something / I have a right to die, a right to live, a right to choose, too / And God, no!

No one’s ever gonna love me like that again / I don’t wanna get over it / I wanna rip the stars to shreds / I don’t wanna feel better

54) Wait for Me (Reprise) by Hadestown

I’m coming wait for me / I hear the walls repeating / The falling of our feet and / It sounds like drumming / And we are not alone / I hear the rocks and stones / Echoing our song / I’m coming

Fun fact - My DM is the one who suggested this song for Nova

55) It’s Over Isn’t It (ft. Deedee Magno Hall) by Steven Universe

Who am I now in this world without her? / Petty and dull, with the nerve to doubt her / What does it matter? It’s already done / Now I’ve got to be there for her son / It’s over, isn’t it? / Isn’t it? / Isn’t it over?

56) What If Tomorrow Comes by Starkid

Tomorrow will come / Tomorrow won’t come / Will tomorrow come today? / And turn the light off / Do you all see what I see? / What I know / What I see / Do you all see the memories? / Tomorrow reminds me

57) Almost There by Princess and The Frog

And I’m almost there / I’m almost there / People down here think I’m crazy / But I don’t care / Trials and tribulations / I’ve had my share / There ain’t nothing gonna stop me now / Cause I’m almost there

58) Disobedient (ft. Kate Micucci and Michaela Dietz) by Steven Universe

Good afternoon, sir / What can I do, sir? / Just say the word, sir / Anything for you, sir

I’ve been good, sir / So very, very good for what? / And I’ve given you / Every single thing I’ve got / It’s feeling strange, man / This whole arrangement / Is gonna end with me totally deranged / When I think about all the wasted time I’ve spent / I wanna be disobedient

59) I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire by Kerrin Connolly

I don’t want to set the world on fire / I just want to start / A flame in your heart / In my heart, I have but one desire / And that one is you

60) Flowers by Hadestown

Dreams are sweet until they’re not / Men are kind until they aren’t / Flowers bloom until they rot and fall apart / Is anybody listening? / I open my mouth and nothing comes out / Nothing / Nothing gonna wake me now

Flowers, I remember fields of / Flowers, soft beneath my heels / Walking in the sun / I remember someone

61) I Do Adore by Mindy Gledhill

Finding words, I mutter / Tongue-tied, twisted / Foot in mouth, I start to stutter / Ha, ha, Heaven help me / Hello, how are you, my darling, today? / I fall into a pile on the floor / Puppy love is hard to ignore / When every little thing you do, I do adore

62) Fight for Me by Heathers

So who might you be? / And could you fight for me? / And hey, could you face the crowd? / Could you be seen with me and still act proud?

It’s fine, if you don’t agree / But I would fight for you / If you would fight for me

63) Basics in Behavior - Blue Version by The Living Tombstone and OR3O

And I’m here wonderin’ if one day / We’ll finally be free from this cage / Is it okay to have a feelin’ / That maybe there is more to this game? / However now, no time to question / So just behave

64) It’s Been A Long, Long Time (with Harry James & His Orchestra) by Kitty Kallen and Harry James

You’ll never know how many dreams / I’ve dreamed about you / Or just how empty they all seemed without you

(The main reason this song was added is because another player in my partied played the song as Nova’s love interest died </3)

65) Hug All Ur Friends by Cavetown

You don’t know what it’s like to be nothing at all / When the night turns cold my thoughts feel like stone / And it’s nothing I can’t change / But I can’t breathe anymore / I forgot how to walk by myself

So hug all your friends and let them know / You’re not letting go / No, I won’t let go

66) Everything Stays (feat. Olivia Olson) by Adventure Time

Everything stays, but it still changes / Every so slightly, daily and nightly / In little ways / When everything stays

67) Look Who’s Inside Again by Bo Burnham

I was a kid who was stuck in his room / There isn’t much more to say about it / When you’re a kid and you’re stuck in your room / You’ll do any old shit to get out of it

Well, well / Look who’s inside again / Went out to look for a reason to hide again / Well, well / Buddy, you found it / Now, come out with your hands up / We’ve got you surrounded

68) Goodbye by Bo Burnham

Wanna guess the ending? If it ever does / I swear to God that all I’ve ever wanted was / A little bit of everything, all of the time / A bit of everything, all of the time

69) Top of My School by Katherine Lynn-Rose

But if I hadn’t earned a dollar / What would you think of your dear daughter? / Would it be pity or dishonor / To ensue? / And if I failed to earn blue ribbon / How could I ever be forgiven? / Tell me what love would still be given / From you

70) Girl Anachronism by The Dresden Dolls

There I go again / Pretending that I’ll fall / Don’t call the doctors / Cause they’ve seen it all before / They’ll say just / Let her crash / And burn / She’ll learn / The attention just encourages her

71) How To Let Go by August Greenwood

I fear almost everything / I don’t have the option to break / Cause all of the people I love have their lives at stake / I feel so selfish / I feel so insecure when I’m in pain / Please don’t hold me / I wouldn’t know how to let go

72) The Fall by Lovejoy

And we’re so calm but we’re (fucking scared, fucking scared) / And we’re so calm but we’re fucking scared of people like you

So come on, one and all to see the apathy / The reams of gray stencils that fill the tapestry / I look to all of you and see a different fucking species / Aspiration for a different destination to me

73) Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz

Finally someone let me out of my cage / Now time for me is nothin’, cause I’m countin’ no age / Now I couldn’t be there, now you shouldn’t be scared / I’m good at repairs, and I’m under each snare

(I mostly put this song here because it gave me the vibes of possession like when Orcus possessed Nova (or at least tried to))

74) Call Me What You Like by Lovejoy

You can call me what you like / As long as you call me / And you could kiss the skin from my lips / If it makes you feel good / I’m not sure if you want it / Not sure if you need me too

This just in / I am a total fucking dumbass / And I’ve come to the uncomfortable conclusion / I’ll be spending the rest of my life in a state of constant paranoia / Just let me follow you

I’m not paranoid, I’m a realist / I know you’re gonna kill me!

But you can’t stay awake forever / No you can’t stay awake forever

(basically this entire song is perfect LMAO)

75) Seventeen by Heathers

Let us be seventeen / If we still got the right / So what’s it gonna be? / I wanna be with you / I wanna be with you / Wanna be with you / Tonight / Yeah we’re damaged / Badly damaged / But your love’s too good to lose / Hold me tighter / Even closer / I’ll stay if I’m what you choose / Can’t we be seventeen? / If I am what you choose / If we’ve still got the right / Cause you’re the one I choose / You’re the one I choose / You’re the one I choose

76) Oblivion by Halfy & Winks

Would I be descending through the darkness / Through the fire and the rain and the mist? / Would the air fail to catch me as I failed to catch you? / Would we have fallen? / Fallen / Into oblivion?

77) Rhinestone Eyes by Gorillaz

A clear target in the summer when skies are blue / It’s part of the noise when winter comes / It reverberates in my lungs / Nature’s corrupted in factories far away / Here we go again

78) The Perfect Pair - Spotify Singles covered by Lovejoy (song by beabadoobee)

If I told you, you know how to / Go and break my heart in two

There’s worse things I can take / I know you hate it / When there’s nothing to say / I’m not sure we’d fix it / Guess we’re so used to it

79) Something Real by Schmigadoon!

I can’t tell you what you’re feeling / I can’t tell just what you feel / But touch my hand and I am reeling / Feels like this is something real

80) Scum by Lovejoy

I feel I’ve reached the end before I’ve reached death (oh-woo) / Pick up the pieces of me, you can have what’s left

81) Warsaw by Lovejoy

It’s good for me, I’m sure, I’m sure it’s good for me / I thought / I’d do anything you ask of me, that’s sure / What for?

It doesn’t get any better / You can try and try / But you’re just a cog in the machine / Apathy comforts me like a cell comforts an inmate / It won’t get better, I assure you / Make no mistake, we’re all going to end up in the dirt / I’ll be seeing you soon

She hopes to God that I just choke / She hopes to God that I just choke / She hopes to God that I just choke / And it gets a little easier

82) Consequences by Lovejoy

Do you ever feel like you fell off for about a year / I’d like to have another go / Cause I haven’t slept in about a week / I stay up thinking I will die

I wish I tried more, wish I tried more / Wish I tried / What’s this? / The consequences of my actions, now

(Lovejoy you understand Nova on a scary perfect level)

83) Alone by Nicholas Hamilton

Alone is not what it once was / Oh, remember when it was nice / Alone is just trying to survive / When the only one to talk to is your mind / Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh / But I’m getting pretty sick of my mind

84) The Hero by Nathan Hanover Synthonic Orchestra (GenLoss Soundtrack)

There’s no lyrics but this theme just fits Nova so well especially with the implications of “The Hero” and how that effected gl!Ranboo just trust me on this one

85) Disco! in the Panic Room by Bug Hunter

I am more the quiet type / I tend to be a shier guy / As safe as knee and elbow pads in cul de sacs with traffic lights / I spend most of my time alone / It’s not all that bad you know / I lost some weight from anxious pacing talking on the telephone

If I look brave I’m secretly / Pretending I’m a different me / The one on stage who plays and / Sings and claps and shouts and basically / Behind the door / Just out of view / Dancing in the panic room

86) Promise by Laufey

Honestly, I didn’t think about / How we didn’t say goodbye / Just see you very soon / It hurts to be something / It’s worse to be nothing with you

I’ve done the math / There’s no solution / We’ll never last / Why can’t I let go of this?

That’s the whole playlist! I started this post a year ago but never finished it and last night was the last session of our main campaign (at least until we can hopefully pick things up next summer) so I figured it’d be a good time to post it. I love my baby and honestly I’m pretty proud of this playlist, so here you go internet :D

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #nova eledor #character playlist #star's analysis #i just randomly remembered this was saved in my drafts earlier today #so i went 'welp might as well'#it's so hard just picking one section of a song #because so many of these songs the whole piece will fit nova so well #my sweet baby <3 <3

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