#i AM an adult with agency | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goldkirk · 7 months

Text

.

#Im flying home for the last time this year barring another death in the family #and it’s going to be fine everyone’s going to be nice to me like nothing ever happened #and I’m still shitting bricks over here #because Im going to be in a car alone with my sister who I called cps on and we NEVER talked about it aside from her asking me if I could #tell them what I could tell CPS #and mom and dad being super upset with me about it #and relaying how upset everyone was and—I went go into more details #that’s been over for a while #but i feel like everyone is silently angry at me about it bc of how big an emotional and financial problem that was and how much of a #betrayal it was #and I’ve been processing so much religious training trauma and stuff #and processing getting locked in the room weekly at my sisters house #and some of the things I was taught to do to keep the kids in line #and how bad the fighting was between my mom and sister and me during college #and I feel terrible about being so scared about this because #i AM an adult with agency #and i AM choosing to see them #and it’s NICE of them to drive me places #and they’ve been super nice the last couple times I was in town #but conversations and interrogations were usually sprung on me when we were one on one #and if things are like they used to be mom and my sister are always passing info back and forth about me and angling for info to share with #each other to get ideas on how to get me back on the straight and narrow #and i feel crazy for talking about all this #but i still feel SO MUCH GUILT because nothing super bad was happening when I called CPS #and people were working on it behind the scenes and I just didn’t trust and give them time #and last time I was in town I saw another book about bringing your kid back to the faith and morality out on mom’s desk #shh katie #continuing in next post tags bc I ran out of tags here

15 notes · View notes

fallow-grove · 9 months

Text

"autism will ruin your marriage" but taken to a different conclusion. autism so sexy ur spouse cant stop makin eyes at me. autism so charming bitches cant resist the way i posture like a wild animal

#im doing the mental equivalent of facepalming at myself right now but I Said What I Said #like what else am i supposed to think that means #too many people talking about autistic children 'causing divorce' not enough people talking about autistic adults 😏causing divorce💅#(i am of course joking but also it Would be funny to at least mix up the harmful stereotypes just a smidge)#(we barely have agency in their narrative come on at least let us be the ones MANUFACTURING the vaccines to propagate our kind or some shit #(being victim all the time is boring!!!)#tag ramble #fallow buzzes #nonsense #autism #actually autistic #ableism #autism speaks

212 notes · View notes

jovial-gender-jester · 1 month

Text

if there's anything i care about more than magical girls, it's magical women

#txt.mine #thinking about how much i love the niche cuz adult lifestyles have such a fun variety of moments to start a story with #and i feel like the balance of agency through life & work & purpose & desire can get skewed in suchh a good way #like. maybe some characters are unemployed or stuck in a dead-end job or unsustainable passion-project. maybe everyone's in the same career #it's just so fun to see ensembles with conflicting life-styles and watch how it goes when these people finally have a moment to talk again #or there's roommates who got scouted off the street then have to balance deeply contemporary problems and a patron who's passionate but also #needs proxies for material change [fighting monsters of the week]#anyway. im so sleepy #to the stories i am thinking of [magical girl friendship squad {youtube series}] [heaven will be mine {pc visual novel}] [life after magic #{pc visual novel. disclaimer that i havent finished lam yet; tho i started it on a whim & it's Pretty charming so far}]#i need to talk about these stories more. god i love when women are complicated & stuck in a strained community

13 notes · View notes

quietwingsinthesky · 1 month

Text

you ever just think about. “You are diseased, albeit a disease of our own making. No more.” you ever just. oh, they made him and they discarded him. it’s never going to be quiet again for him, and that’s just collateral. they let the sound rot through his whole life, his whole timeline. because that’s the kind of easy sacrifice you can make when you want to save yourself above everything else, one that doesn’t ask anything of you. you dig open a child’s mind and you bury your survival inside him and when he follows the noise back home, when he does exactly what you groomed him for, you call him ruined for it. that’s. you ever just think about that.

#it’s genuinely such a horrifying sixkening thing that they unveil. what was done to the master.#and it’s like. it’s so important that he is awful. he really is. but he still does not deserve to have had this done to him.#the drums are a tragedy that cannot. would not. be a punishment earned no matter how terrible he is.#they’re such a violation of his mind. isolating and constant and violent. and it drives me insane that this is just. in the show. okay cool #ill never be normal again.#they literally pulled his head open. during a ceremony that we. as far as i know. have to assume is not exactly voluntary. and is at the #best of times. already traumatic and horrifying. but they went into that moment and they put the drums in his head and they made him into #something repulsive to them. because they did that to him! in this thing alone the master had no agency and no way out and this thing that #was done *to* him is what makes him. to them. a broken thing now past its usefulness now that he’s done what they wanted him to.#sorry im rotating him in my head again and again. this is the thing that makes him ‘diseased’. it’s that they chose to do this to him. there #is nothing he could do to not be this. he was a child and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. he’s an adult and he’s #doing the impossible exactly like they shaped him to do and he can’t stop this from having happened to him. so he might as well follow the #drums. and then. and then rassilon calls him diseased. and im going to. lose it.#there was nothing he could have done…………..#everywhere else he has choices to make and he can burn the world and keep it as a toy and he can fuck with the doctor and he can do.#anything. anything he wants. but he can’t. there’s nothing he can do to make it stop. there’s nothing he can do to make it so this never #happened to him. and i am spinning in circles here do u see why he makes me insane.#and the doctor doesn’t even really fucking believe him that the drums are real until the master makes him listen……. oh im going to be ill.#doctor who #simm!master #the master

18 notes · View notes

theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 17 days

Text

Holy shit it’s gonna be alright. My parents want a diplomatic, CIVILIZED meeting almost akin to a peace treaty, to occur in a few days.

Yes yes yes yes

#exjw #ex cult #I hadn’t anticipated exactly how much I had leveled the playing field when I became an adult and got myself THREE reputable jobs #I went into that conversation verbally loaded for bear and prepared to run to the hospital for asylum if things got ugly #They didn’t even ask me questions yet; they just said they’re prepared to hear me out and make changes #It’s wild how differently they’re treating me now vs. when I was sixteen #They’re more scared of what I’ll do than I am of what they’ll do. I’ve never had it like this before #Not that fear is good… but it feels much better to be in this kind of situation with some control and agency #It feels good to have power; and I will not abuse that power to needlessly make them feel worse than they need to #because I am better than they were four years ago

7 notes · View notes

flowermist7432 · 27 days

Text

Recently for a few months, ive been having dreams about going out and getting food. Just leaving my house and often the food in question im looking for is cake. But i usually can never find or get what i am looking for and I wake up hungry!

So yesterday my sister took me out to the store and I realized I was no only an adult man, my abuser absent at home and also I had a gift card with 13 dollars on it...

Maybe life CAN be dream,,,

#I said in the car something along the lines of how im pretty sure im having those dreams becauseZ #im yearning for my agency in adult life that i still am not allowed to have at nearing 21. So its coming out through like..#the simplistic adult activities like going out and just buying food I want #things most adults with freedom not under the thumb of a bad household take for granted or dont even think about #and my sister looked at me and said '..that's deep'#LMAO #i dunno. i think stories usually have big defining moments but for me its just...#buying a cake #like i always wanted 🥺#happy april fools!

8 notes · View notes

spocksgotemotions · 7 months

Text

I know Im too young to be bitter about missed chances and stuff but it is my right and boy am I exercising it

#captain’s own #dumb bitch hours #personal logs #it is not entirely fair to be bitter towards my mom about staying home #it was my decision as an adult to live with her after my dad died #but the fact that the past year and a half I have been treated poorly by her #when I moved away from most of my support system (who stayed in New England post grad)#when I gave up the opportunity of a lifetime #and she still thinks I just moved home to save money and I don’t actually care about her #like she doesn’t know and I won’t tell her cause it will upset her too much but I was scouted by a talent agency #they wanted me but I told them I wasn’t planning on going back to NY for at least a year #if I was as selfish and shitty as she thinks I am #I’d be in NY with my friends #Doing extra work and seeing above average improv once a month #okay just needed to rant

12 notes · View notes

polite-pandemonium · 5 months

Text

There's this TikTok trending sound floating around where the gist is 'can't tell if the friend who is always fake flirting with you is still fake flirting' and I immediately thought of these two. It's practically canon IMHO.

Who is kicking up the fake flirting a notch differs between the two of them on the daily.

#it is my personal headcanon that these two are constantly flirting with each other and causing strangers to just be like SO ARE THEY DATING #OR WHAT?#and of course their friends are like 'ugh no they are just like that' with the tone of people who have seen too much #Daisuke in particular is Over It #will full on leave the room when they start #thinks Takeru brings out the utter worst in Hikari (which he does lbr)#and sometimes they take the flirting too far and who knows maybe they end up fooling around #WHO KNOWS #but also - tri had LOADS of this quasi-flirty banter between them #so it is SLIGHTLY PRACTICALLY CANON #remember Sora's absolutely exasperated face when Hikari warns Meiko to watch out for Takeru?#it's that all of the time #also I wish I could have used caps of them in Kizuna or the Beginning and not caps of them in tri #but they don't have enough scenes together or apart in Kizuna #and the Beginning isn't out yet #so sorry you get this pseudo-meme with the uggo tri animation #and this is from someone who actually enjoyed tri a lot #anyway i have to go run errands I am an Adult #fun fact - I use the same canva account to make this bs that I do to make the reports I put all over my office #that canva account has two selves - employee of a global advertising agency #fandom idiot #digimon #takari #takeru and hikari #takeru takaishi #hikari yagami #takehika

9 notes · View notes

protectoroffaeries · 4 days

Text

if u wanna support a group, u gotta listen to them. u gotta hear them about what they need. nothing more damaging (at worst) & annoying (at best) than a white knight that has no damn idea what they are talking about.

#ive been thinking about infantilization agency and the idea of protecting people from themselves a lot lately #as one does when one is trans & afab & mentally ill bc people LOVE to act like theyre just trying to protect me #from the evil trans cult & those lax lib doctors #as if i am not an adult who is fully capable of making his own decisions #& this framing is esp frustrating bc the average joe will not see it as a dogwhistle they will take it as genuine concern #it's also like not trans exclusive at all like #whorejolras was just talking about this in the context of sex work & the nordic model (not in these exact words)#& it reminded me exactly of how transphobes will be like not YOU you're the poor little girlie victim :(#like you are making my life less safe and healthy as well as treating me like i am not a full person when u do this

2 notes · View notes

robinsnest2111 · 7 days

Text

manifesting a version of myself that is not his parents' little bitch. please come soon you glorious fucker and free me from this hell

#like i would've left ages ago IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FEAR #and not having the means to move all my shit on my own due to lack of a car and a license :/#BUT MOSTLY THE FEAR #like come ON i'm 27 years of age. why do i still so readily submit to my parents' whims?????#(it's to keep the peace and not rock the boat BUT MAN IS IT MAKING MY BRAIN LESS PEACEFUL)#brb chewing through the wall because i am so tired of myself lol #i may be a fullblown adult but man do i still feel like a 12 year old without any agency 👍

2 notes · View notes

simptasia · 1 month

Text

mum and i were almost not able to buy our house because a real estate lawyer heard us casually say i'm autistic and alarm bells went off in her head, because she believed that meant i wasn't mentally capable of understanding what i was signing up for

#and she demanded a doctors note. which not how any of this works #theres no policy that works like that AND gps are not the people who are like #''yup this person sure is a person alright''#she just had heaps of prejudice and she let it affect her job #so a lady from one of those places that advocates for ND and disabled people tore her apart #she lost the 4000 dollars she was gonna be paid. and she got fired #and everybody else from that company that we spoke to was either appalled or pretending to be appalled about this #either way it worked out #i was so upset at the time because it was literally a week before it was time to move???#and i was so afraid of us losing all our progress #plus. yeah i was hurt by the insinuations and the attempted disrespect to my agency #also even if i was cognitively disabled... i think cognitively disabled people deserve to own houses too #i was a fucking adult and i managed to get to every gosh forsaken appointment to sign forms #and then do it all again because what i was signing didn't match what was on my birth certificate!#...not my fault - turns out the nurse wrote my fucking name wrong #anyways. i was exhausted but i did it damn it. so that bitch trying to rob us of our home??? fuck her #6 years later and the house is now 100% mine instead of 50%#and im gonna assume that bitch never got a job in real estate again #she was totally cool with me until she heard the word ''autistic''#and clearly pictured somebody... how do i put this... somebody with vacant eyes who smacks the side of their head when they're upset #not a bad thing by the way! hell i've been that flavour of autistic plenty of times. we contain multitudes!!!!#don't mean we don't deserve to own property. we live in a society!!! let us be a part of it #but yeah that was the most serious case of me being dehumanized due to what i am

4 notes · View notes

alphacrone · 10 months

Text

there are a lot of reasons the show would give us kipps asking lucy out* but my favorite theory is that they were painting it as the 'seduction' of Fittes the way they had lady joplin 'seduce' george into mesmerization** but it only made things funnier bc lucy is so fucking awkward and standoffish that it just makes kipps look even dumber than he did in canon when she slammed a fucking door in his face

#* i do still think they did it to solidify a connection before That book 5 scene #i also think it's genuinely part of the Adultification of the characters by their society #kipps joplin the alcohol lockwood's mortgage lockwood owning an agency child labor etc.#were all really great at showing us how their society treats them as adults until they want to control them #**i like louise brealey but they should have had a weird middle aged man seduce george and i stand by this he is BI #i've said this before i am not hating on this ship i just think they're a very funny pair of morons who like to torment each other #lockwood & co.#lockwood & co. tv #ok to rb

8 notes · View notes

moltengoldveins · 4 months

Text

yeah this is it we’re writing fanfic I have never been more ashamed also I’m So Excited

#Fanfic #am writing fanfic #ok problem tho #I’m working with an oc #And I know her deal #But the interesting part of the story happens After her deal #And after she’s gone from child to adult with agency #So I gotta write the boring stuff for me (actual necessary plot information) before I get to the fun stuff (the fix it)

2 notes · View notes

fairybumpkin · 8 months

Text

ooo love is kinda complicated ain't it. wasn't expecting it

#but also it's not! i just need to be an adult and talk to this person about it #because hey it could turn out just fine!#and believing i can leave it hanging in limbo forever is harmful to me and also disregards their agency #because hey they might say something first - but also i can't wait on that #but also they've known me through the majority of my transition & a bit before so it's weird! and are they straight? probably! but-#i've never actually asked and i don't know enough #realised that i'd gone emotionally too far after i learned they can do card tricks and well. brother that made me feel things okay #and we work together which makes it really complicated to actually bring up #but also i am SUPER obvious apparently so they probably already know #which... I can't figure out if that'll make it more or less awkward #whole thing crept up on me too - didn't realise it was happening until after top surgery and i was able to actually start figuring out #my sexuality for real #but by fucking god these are intense feelings no wonder i was getting so messed up repressing attraction my whole life #and fuck if i can't stop thinking about this person for real! i thought that was something that people exaggerated to be honest #but no they are always there in my head now #in dreams too a lot of the time

4 notes · View notes