short hair laudna fans rise up

so about that laudna-has-no-future 4sd chat...

marisha ray has throwaway lines and that is her god given right like anyone else and truly this may mean nothing

BUT

me personally i bluescreened when marisha said "what does laudna have to look forward to, she's dead" in response to a question of would laudna rather make contact with her future or past self.

i think laudna and her evolving worldview over the course of this campaign is sooooooo interesting so thoughts under the cut

"the worst thing that’s ever happened to me has already happened."

we all remember this! this is the response that laudna gave to orym when he softly pointed out that laudna seemed like she had the most positive outlook of the group. it was a central tenet of laudna's character up until that point, that despite the darkness that coated her soul, she was probably the one with the most zest for life.

she tended to believe the best in npcs that the party encountered. she had a rat marionette that got boners and made her laugh. she was wholeheartedly devoted to imogen and never, never believed that the end was the end.

and then, when orym asked her how she accomplished that, she responds in a framing of perspective.

she was murdered by the briarwoods at twenty years old. how can anything seem awful in comparison to that?

she died, and then she got to join an adventuring party. she died, and then she got to use her strange, eerie powers for good. she died, and then she met imogen.

she has hope because she's seen the lowest possible point her life can come to, and can only climb upwards from there.

she had a hope for a future, because of this. a good future. at least one that was better than the worst thing that had ever happened to her. and that future included imogen—

"can keep you from that. can keep us from that."

she had hope.

we all know this quote. this quote is the cottagecore lesbian life that marisha spoke to in four-sided dive. but i think to look at where laudna's at now, and to understand "what does laudna have to look forward to, she's dead", we have to look at the quote in greater context.

laudna is speaking to a possible future here. but in her words she's also saying that she understands that that future might mean abandoning what they feel called to do by the gods. in this moment, she's not guaranteeing a future, she's explaining to imogen that they have a choice.

and as of now, episode 82, arrived on the moon, they've made that choice. they're orpheus. they've descended into hell, and they can't look back if they want to make it out.

it's important to note that laudna wasn't lying way back in heartmoor when she was talking to orym. the worst thing that could ever happen to her had already happened. but she was operating then on her very human understanding of the world.

since then, she's died (again), been resurrected, seen magic beyond comprehension, and surrendered herself over to the spirit of her murderer that lives in her head.

there are no rules anymore. and laudna has learned that there is always something worse.

the quiet life she talked about with imogen might have been taken from her forever. the narrative has grown teeth and it has sunk them into both her and the woman she loves.

"what does laudna have to look forward to, she's dead"

she's orpheus, yeah? we know how this story ends. her love's been called to the hell planet by fate. she won't get out without losing something.

maybe—maybe—there's still hope for that cottage together somewhere. i don't mean to rule it out entirely. but i think that laudna herself, the character, has lost all belief in that possibility at this point. and that presents such a foil to the laudna that we met in episode 1.

sometimes the tragedy comes built-in.

even if. even when.

(all quotes pulled from critical role wiki's transcripts page)

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E133 (April 13, 2021)

(Little distracted tonight! Please excuse any and all omissions.)

Tonight’s guests on Good Morning Quebec are Marisha Ray and Travis Willingham!

How are Beau and Fjord feeling about their leadership responsibilities among the Nein? Marisha: “Beau has always admired Fjord and respected his ability to speak like an adult. It does feel like-- are Beau and Fjord the only adults in the room?” Travis points out Caduceus and Caleb’s leadership as well. “In that conversation, at least, just because I want it to be a tiny bit meta, a lot of it’s just mindset. Fjord knows that Beau is a world-breaker, can kick that ass, and the idea that part of the focus would be diverted towards how can we get out here, it was feeling a little bit more like we’re done for rather than we can do this. It was his way of doing the old coach reminder of stop thinking of the ways you’re going to get out of this and start thinking of the ways you’re going to dominate this.” Marisha mentions that Beau and Travis are kind of the two who aren’t saying goodbyes, and yet they’re two of the only ones who just have the Nein. “Even Caleb was allowed to say goodbye to his cat! We don’t even have that. It’s just the Nein. They are the ultimate goodbyes for us, if it comes to that. But hopefully it won’t come to that.” Travis: “There’s a certain drive that comes with not having wrapped it up in a pretty bow.”

On Fjord’s decision to have the Rangers engage: “Yeah, that one stings. I was suffering from the good ol’ regurts almost as soon as it happens. I realized it was just Essek and Fjord, and he was just asking me, and boy there were a lot of horseshit RP things going around my head.” He kept in mind that the captain has to be decisive and focus on his people. “I in no way thought of Dagon at all. Fuck, did I send Dagon to his death? Did that headstrong dude go, nah, I’ll do my own thing and get out of there? I hadn’t really experienced that kind of instant regret in a gameplay situation yet. But in leadership moments, or when you have to make a decision like that, sometimes it’s important to take a fucking minute and think about what you’re doing. Even in D&D. I wish I had taken a moment to say, how far away are they? If you engage them from afar, can you slow them down long enough? Set an ambush if you can, but at least be at max.”

On Beau’s meditation attempt that ended in contact with Lucien: “I think I know exactly what he was trying to do. He was trying to put another fuckin’ eye somewhere on me. I was remembering Keyleth putting her hand in the spinning black orb of death under the Ziggurat and I rolled a natural twenty.” Travis asks if she thinks she and Caleb are “next up in the queue” now that so many of the Tombtakers are dead. “Yeah. I’m gonna get turned.” Travis: “I’ll kill you real good, Beau. I’ll take Caleb first because he made me promise, but I’ll get you good, too.”

On Fjord now having more information about Vandren: “I love it. I feel like such a fuckin’ moron. It never occurred to me for one second that a shipwrecked person that survived would have maybe just wound up on the nearest island. Nope. Didn’t even bother to do the Castaway grid and check the nearest body of land. I’m a fuckin’ terrible D&D player.” Fjord washed up extremely far away from the wreck. “I love that he’s there. I cannot wait to go find him and have a conversation. I just don’t know which will come first: going to Darktow and confronting Sabien or going to see Vanden. But both of those things are on the list, for sure. Just for closure, I mean, damn.” Brian asks if Fjord is okay with Jester having reached out. “Yeah, totally. Fjord is a big dummy in a lot of ways.” He mentions that Fjord has a lot of ideas in his head about what it means to “be a man” that keeps him from asking for help when he needs it. “When Jester did that, it just reaffirmed his feelings for her and how she feels for him. It’ll take those kind of people in his life to help him along to the things that he wants when he’s too stupid or shy to acknowledge it himself.”

How about that alliance with Essek? Marisha: “Here’s the thing. Beau wasn’t like, ooh, allying with Trent, that’s icky because of moral reasons. It’s not that. The more allies, the better in this moment. Teaming up with Magneto kind of situation. But Beau’s whole concern was is this going to distract you from the overall mission. I couldn’t imagine walking alongside someone who had just tortured me in the way that Trent has. We spent so many episodes watching Caleb have these post-traumatic flashes of when he lit his family on fire. Caleb’s a shotgun, he’s such a good damage-dealer, and if he can’t cope with it. That was Beau’s concern.” Travis: “And just to go along with your Magneto reference, Essek is one powerful person. Trent brings the acolytes. But we recognize that if we stop the Tombtakers and Lucien then we probably have to stop Trent and the Vollstruckers. But I wanted to open it to Caleb, because we gotta face that motherfucker at some point.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Yasha! (krisjaded on Instagram, photography by adambenfer on Instagram)

On Beau’s plan to put a possible eavesdropper off their trail at Pumat’s: “I mean, everything is a long shot.” Taliesin suggested the idea. “I said Darktow because I thought, hey, if he tries to follow us to Darktow, he’ll probably get murdered. He’ll never make it back. We have no idea. It could have been completely transparent, or maybe he’ll be stupid enough to actually try it.”

Fan Art of the Week: a lovely Caduceus! (by arcanum.dice on Instagram)

How’s the relationship with Yasha been going? “It’s so new! And fresh and weird, and she’s trying to remember to be like, oh, that’s right! You’re my girlfriend! I owe you some attention, that’s right. It’s nice to have somebody. We were talking about not really having anyone to say goodbye to in this round of goodbyes, Beau is looking to the future and those relationships are keeping her afloat.”

On seeing more of Aeor, looking forward to it? Travis: “I really want them dead first. If collections of explorers and expeditions from the Cerberus Assembly and the Dynasty have turned up stuff they don’t know what to do with yet, what the fuck are a bunch of chuckle-dicks like us going to do with it?” They’re interested in a distant sort of way - there are bigger issues at hand.

Travis mentions that he’s never been quite so emotionally invested in the game before and notes that was at the root of his competitive attitude at the end of the last episode. “The lines were so blurred in that way. It’s just a testament to the never-ending learning process that comes from this game that I underestimated my entire life.”

I imagine that, for most of her life, Beauregard Lionett has been the living embodiment of a clenched fist.

 The life she could have had, had her father not been the man he was, had he not lay the full weight of his expectation and vision and above all paranoia on the slender shoulders of his only daughter, is a question worth exploring. Beau in the present is full of energy and always craves activity and stimulus, and it’s not hard to imagine that’s how she was as a child; many a grass-stained dress, I’m sure, and I tend to think she was the sort of kid to dig holes just to see what she could find, curiosity unbounded even at an early age.

If her energy had been redirected instead of squashed, if her curiosity had been rewarded instead of reprimanded, if her cleverness had been sharpened instead of scolded, Beauregard Lionett may have been on the path to become the most renown vintner in all of Wildemount. But instead what her future held in store for her was white knuckles.

The picture painted by the wonderful Marisha Ray of the life of Young Beau is one of a desperate fight for agency, and denial and defeat in this quest at every turn. With her bright mind, she attempts to create a new path for the family brand to take, but is rejected outright by her father. So what does Beau do in response? In typical Beau fashion, she says fuck you and begins to bootleg the family wine right under her father’s nose. I think this was in part to obviously get one over on her father, but also to prove to herself that she could in fact sell the wine better. This is a feature of Beau’s personality that pops up over and over; her need to prove to herself and others her own value. I have no doubt that Young Beau tried so hard to impress her contacts in the small world of underground wine bootlegging, just to get some sort of validation or affirmation, and no doubt that this was used against her again and again, her nails digging ever deeper into her palms.

Of course her father finds out, and she is cast away; exasperated that his daughter isn’t planted firmly under his thumb like any good heir would be, he ships her off to the Cobalt Soul, where perhaps they can teach her some discipline, all the while believing that it was her that failed him and not the other way around.

In some respect, no crueler fate could have been bestowed on Beau than to end up at the Cobalt Soul, and I’ll explain why. Beau at her core is a bright, energetic, curious person. If Beau had been given the actual choice to go to the Cobalt Soul of her own will on the onset of her teenage years she would have jumped at the chance. Learning and fighting and exploring are the sort of thing Young Beau would have loved. But she is forced to go, after being ostensibly disowned by her family, all the while knowing that to all her potential mentors, the label of Problem Child is dangling from her neck; she was not sent there as a budding mind to be fostered and cultivated, but as a problem to be solved.

She pays attention to her classes, but she can’t afford to show any enthusiasm, or else she’s admitting defeat; Beau always loses on her own term, and at this point she was very used to losing. The tension in her shoulders builds and builds as she contemplates how poorly all the monks must think of her, her behavior getting worse and worse just so she has some sort control over her life; she can’t help but be the chained up dog she is, but goddammit you’re going to know she’s there. That she can do. And finally the thrashing against the chain causes it to break, and she realizes she can leave, and so she bolts, and doesn’t stop running until she slams full speed into the Mighty Nein.

Beau is my favorite character for many reasons, but a big one is that she plays into the archetype of “Character Who Cares So Much But Can’t Afford To Show It”, only matched in my heart by “Character Who Can’t Even Begin To Hide How Much They Care”, ironically also played to by Marisha Ray in the form of Keyleth.

From the moment we meet her in the tavern with Jester and Fjord, it is clear upon reflection that she already cares so much. She stuck to those two like peanut butter on bread almost immediately, and it becomes very clear when you discover how afraid she was that they were going to leave her behind. For her entire life, all Beau wanted to be was acknowledged and accepted, to not be so goddamn alone all the time. And here was her chance to have that, and so she held on like her life depended on it. In some ways, it did.

I don’t think the tightness of her spiritual fists really loosened until Nicodranas. Before that the Doubt was always there that the rest of the Nein would come to grips with how much of a problem she really was and get rid of her, and who could blame them in her eyes; she was just someone who didn’t fit, and that was her fate. But they didn’t. As time went by they just seem to pull her closer. And then the Iron Shepards happened, and that’s when she knew for sure; she loved these people, and there was nothing she wouldn’t do for them.

And then... Mollymauk dies, and it forces Beau to reckon with the ugly bitterness she had allowed to consume her mind, and that she had more options than breaking. She could be a builder. She could build something good. With the Mighty Nein by her side, she could do anything, even be good. They arrive at that beach in Nicodranas, the grief of losing Molly easing on her heart, and for the first time in her entire life, she feels safe, lightness replacing her usual heaviness, her shoulders relieved of their usual tension, and finally she can, for a moment or two, go to that place in her mind the Monks always talked about.

But after a long period of security, her hands form that familiar shape again at the prospect of her worst fear coming to fruition; slowly losing the Nein. Nott was going to get her body back, and was possibly going to go back to her family. Which makes sense; it’s why she is here in the first place. But it reintroduces the idea that the family she’s built for herself could slowly come apart as each of its members finish their quest and find their place. But the Nein is Beau’s quest, it is her place.

Suddenly they’re back in Kamordah, and her old wounds seem to get torn back open all at once, and Beau loses her footing, spiritual eyes clenched, shoulders tight, and fists balled up, bracing herself for what surely had to follow. They meet the Hag, an awful creature who preys on misery, who was feeding on Nott, Beau’s chosen sister, and she wanted a deal to free her, to replace misery with misery. And things began to click into to place. This is what this was all building up to, wasn’t it? This is what it was all for. Molly was there to teach her that she could do good, and here was her chance. All it would cost is everything. Everything she never deserved. She was going to go back to losing on her terms, just as it should have always been.

One unexpected Cupcake later, and that idea of martyrdom is entirely thrown out the window. This is the part of the movie where the record scratches. This was not at all how things are supposed to go. Things were supposed to fall apart. And now the newly returned Veth has her doubts about putting the Adventurer’s Life behind her. And Cad’s family is saved and home restored and he’s decided to stick around anyway. WHAT IS GOING ON?!! Here Beau was matching the pairs in hand thinking she was playing Poker only to be playing Uno all along.

I have no idea where Beau’s head is right now, but she seems to be sliding back into the Beau we’re so proud of. I don’t know if this is just the calm before Marisha rips all of our hearts out, or if Beau has just decided to enjoy the Mighty Nein for what it is while she has it. But I know her knuckles have some color again, and for that I’m grateful.

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Redux! Oct. 13, 2020)

Gooooood evening good evening good evening, all! I started the VOD late for this recap and somehow the first four or so minutes of the show have a Twitch audio copyright claim, so I am reduced to only reading Brian's lips when he asks if we're on the internet. Hilariously, Marisha's background room is a comfy-looking blue/gold fabric wall with a ceramic colorful abstract lamp and a yellow silk scarf over the lampshade, and Taliesin's is an industrial looking games room in grey and black with multiple monitors, overhead speakers, and mysterious metal fixtures behind him. What a treasure this group is, honestly.

Tonight's guests: Marisha Ray & Taliesin Jaffe, discussing episodes 110 and 111 again. I wildly speculate once more about what might have caused their absence: jury duty? Sam appearing on The Masked Singer? Something to do with the animated show? One day, we’ll know, one day... (One day this “copyrighted audio” section will come back from the wars, too. Ugh!) Finally! The audio comes back to reveal Brian discussing the endless reality of digital meetings and Marisha talking about (I think) her glare-reducing glasses she’s wearing. Welcome to the New Age (welcome to the New Age, to the New Age).

Announcements: Marisha suggests checking out Dimension20, another live tabletop gaming group, which premieres live on Wednesdays at 4pm (CollegeHumor). 

Brian immediately wants to know how they feel about the revelation that Molly is alive. Taliesin’s personal reaction: he “knows some things” he can’t talk about and is aware of several possibilities that might be going on, but had a sneaking suspicion that there would not be a body for them to find. He says it’s almost all there for anyone to see in past material. Marisha’s personal reaction: she just wants to know how she’s doing with her theories, & was trying to block Tal’s face out deliberately as she was going off on her theories in the last episode. Taliesin says he thought her ideas were pretty good!

Cad has no clue what to think - it’s like listening to your friends talk about Buffy. Marisha thought it was a 50/50 Molly would still be there, but Beau had no idea. Not that it mattered, because as soon as Matt went through with it the reveal still blew their minds. Tal laid out his plans for the character with Matt during Campaign One (towards the end) after they all got their VM tattoos.

It is a “horrifying and gross” thing to dig up a body, and Beau was pretty reluctant to do it. Tal, as Cad: “Sometimes dead’s better.” The moral quandary of trying to speak with a dead friend was very different here than the frequent occasions they used the spell in C1.

Taliesin says his poker face is very bad, so it’s easier for him to over-react and let it all play out. The only other player he can see very easily from his place in their current setup is Travis, and because he knows Travis doesn’t watch TM, tweet, or participate in social media, he admits he thoroughly enjoyed watching Travis freak out at his freaking out. He says he only knew about 20% of what Matt described at the end of that episode. He was picking things to mug to increase Travis’s surprise. I love this so much.

Taliesin provided the table left leg shake; Travis provided table right. Ha!

Beau is really accepting her role in the Cobalt Soul. It’s good when “as a person, you feel like you can settle into your calling. Sometimes you can do more from the inside than fighting from the outside.” It’s a mirrored but opposite path of Keyleth from C1; Beau felt like she was too good for her duty, while Keyleth thought she wasn’t good enough.

Caduceus is not a big believer in jumping to conclusions. He does have an idea/notion of the “city of the undead” and thinks all this necrotic energy must come from somewhere, and wonders if this is the “capital of anti-death.” He’s willing to believe whatever he sees. This is one of the few things that trigger a bit of loathing and disgust in him. It was terrifying that the Wildmother didn’t know anything.

Beau is pretty confident in her Charlie Day impression laying-out-the-research last episode. She enjoyed taking the things that were known & extrapolating around them; this is a huge facet of Marisha’s own personality and she really enjoys it, so she built a character this time that would allow that kind of puzzle-solving. It’s also why she repeatedly notes when Beau journals, so she can avoid metagaming. Trent’s mention of Vess Durogna’s tomb raiding was completely circumstantial, and the only reason she’d made the connection to the Tombtakers was because she’d recently reviewed those notes for a separate unannounced project. Sometimes she tries to make connections and Matt is like, “It was...just descriptive. Just flavor. The curtains were red...” and she has to discard a paragraph of notes. She feels like it’s still something they have to do because of “look at what he does! Look! It’s totally valid!”

Cosplay of the Week: @kitsunstudios with a gorgeous Caduceus with a very intricate silk vest.

Caduceus’s takedown of Trent! One of my favorite moments in the entirety of C2. Taliesin felt Trent was an asshole; Caduceus felt sorry for him because of how dumb he thought he was. Caduceus’s response was "this is the dumbest man I’ve ever met in my life. He’s so dumb! Is nobody going to tell this guy how dumb he is? Oh, they’re all freaked out. Somebody needs to tell this guy he’s an idiot before somebody gets hurt.” (Marisha: “Before?”) Tal says it was the product of several years of therapy and many drunk conversations with Whitney Moore. It was from a genuine place of concern from Caduceus. “How are you allowed to have this much power and be that dumb?”

Brian loved how funny it was to watch everyone tiptoe around Trent and then Caduceus bulldoze through the end of the meal.

Taliesin: “Damage doesn’t make you interesting or better. It’s not what makes you good. Character isn’t found in damage. Just recovery.”

Brian & Marisha commiserate going through the stage where believing surviving something automatically made you a stronger person, better for the pain; instead it just meant you had to pick up the pieces after. Marisha talks about how strength through survival may be true for some people, but it shouldn’t be considered a necessity. Taliesin talks about how he used to think he had to be miserable to write. Brian talks about how believing he liked reading and writing miserable things only limited him for years.

Marisha feels it’s a C2 theme that almost all the PCs have someone trying to handwave or take credit for their accomplishments or explain their pain as being for their own good (Trent, Beau’s dad, Obann). She thinks it’s interesting to see all the various ways people try to take credit for your work/delegitimize you as a person. She loves that RPGs allow you to explore these odd moralities in interesting ways. The only way to fight it is to have a sense of your own self-worth, which is a problem a lot of the M9 started with.

Caduceus likes everyone, and really likes people who appear to need role models (Eodwulf). “With the right friends and the right bar and the right attitude, I think he’d be okay. Come over here where it’s so much better. That seems like an exhausting friendship that you have there.”

Marisha loves the mix of personalities in the M9; Veth, Cad, & Jester were all “we kind of like them!” after the dinner, and she immediately made eye contact with Travis and they both shook their heads. She knows Beau has to go along with it for Caleb’s sake for now, but she & Fjord are pretty sus of Trent’s proteges.

Beau is less concerned about Artagan’s relationship to Jester because “he showed his ass--she’s less worried about Jester now because a little of the magic is gone.” It’s a little like becoming an adult and realizing your parents are also just adults & human. Caduceus wasn’t suspicious of the Traveler for a long time until they got to the island. Aside: Taliesin loves the pantheon in D&D. “The notion of attempting to apply common Western conceptions of religion to a world where you have a pantheon of interventionist gods as baseline makes no sense to me. Everyone admits that every other god is there and doing shit; it has more in common with ancient Rome than anything else.” Now that he knows it was a con, he feels the wind had been taken out of it. He does have a sense that Jester’s gotten back together with an ex: “I hope that I’m really happy for you.” They’re both interested to see how Jester navigates the new relationship.

My internet goes out, of course. I panic for a second, thinking I’ve lost everything above, but all is well! Thanks, Form History Control addon!

Marisha loved punching Artagan, but regretting rolling so poorly. “I miss violence.” Dani lets us know it’s been about four episodes since the last battle.

There’s no way the Cobalt Reserve doesn’t have a single document on the Eyes of Nine. Beau believes “there are no real secrets” because people are just bad at not writing things down. For there to be no information at all seems really suspicious for her.

Fanart of the Week: @oddalchemist on twitter with some awesome Beau conspiracy red-thread boards overlaid a distant shadowy Molly walking away.

Caduceus feels a little guilty for really enjoying his time right now with the M9 and not wanting to go home. He’s starting to suspect that he’s going to go home very different than when he left. “He has the softest problems. I don’t know if I want to move back in with Mom & Dad.”

Beau is trying to get comfortable with the idea of being happy. Jester is probably Beau’s first real best friend & one of the first healthy female friendships she’s ever had. As long as she still has Jester in her life, she doesn’t care. For Yasha... “At the end of the day, Beau is a lonely person and has always been a lonely person. And I think you kinda reach this point where once you’re not lonely anymore, you can kind of come out of the fog and realize that was horrible! And terrifying! And is even more terrifying now that I know what I could have, and I don’t want to go back to that. At the end of the day Beau doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. There’s always been that flirtation with Yasha, but everyone had to figure their own shit out. And now it feels like it’s coming out a little bit of that haze, maybe this actually could be...” There are a lot of ways they complement each other & are good-different from each other. Marisha believes people can be attracted to more than person at once.

Caduceus doesn’t think nature turned against him on Rumblecusp, it was just a reality of nature being dangerous and violent. “He has a complex relationship with nature.” He doesn’t expect special treatment.

Thoughts on the mansion: “Man, it’s nice to be seen.” Marisha: “I don’t know how I ended up becoming the Scanlan of this campaign, but I’m living for it.” It felt like an echo of “I’m better for having known you.” They compare Marisha taking specific notes on the campaign to Liam taking specific notes on people’s favorite tapestries, comics, etc.

They talk about missing theme parks and daydream a park version of the mansion in CritRoleLand. It’s lovely.

Taliesin never expected Divine Intervention to work; he just wanted to roll some dice. He’s still processing what he saw/heard. They all agree it was very useful in the Vokodo fight.

Vilya! Marisha: “Ah! Ah! Ah!” As a player, Marisha was so deep in Beau’s eyes she didn’t pick up it was Vilya at first (especially since Matt really emphasized they should not be looking for C1 NPCs). Marisha’s brain melted. She bawled her eyes out on the ride home after that episode. Right after it ended, Laura told Marisha “Keyleth finally gets her happy ending,” and it makes Marisha emotional again since Keyleth’s story ended so bittersweetly. She talks about the very real feelings of “just wanting them to be happy, though!” She went back and listened to all her old Keyleth playlists. Everyone was teary after the episode. “Everyone has these 100% real memories of being these characters and having these good times.”

And that’s that for that! Thanks for your patience, all, and is it Thursday yet?

C2E122

I am one (1) episode away from catching up to Critical Role, but boy this one was a doozy. That ending definitely left me with so many questions that I am so excited to discover the answers to! (But also.... I am so afraid.) My liveblogs and spoilers for both Campaign 2, Episode 122 of Critical Role as well as spoilers for the NordVPN Cinematic Universe lie below, so tread carefully!

- yesss, finally a return to the NordVPN Cinematic Universe

- MATT WAS THE ULTRA KODEX THIS WHOLE TIME?!?! (maybe the true ultra kodex was the friends we made along the way......)

- I hate how invested I am now fghjkldkjhndhjk help

- I’ve noticed that the NPCs tend to ask about party/individual goals of the Mighty Nein quite often... I wonder if that’s Matt’s way of checking in to see what the group wants to accomplish, or if they’re just genuinely curious minds, or both?

- Oooh, I like Veth’s conspiracy theory about the Nein being potential vessels for the Somnovem

- WAIT this is a lot of information... for my own notes this book (DeRogna’s book? Stolen from DeRogna, but not her entries I think) talks about the civilization of Aeor..... the nine philosophers took over the Cognouza Ward and ran it on the power of imagination?? Marisha Ray help me and my poor note-taking please

- Lucien’s quickfire flirting with Caleb was so smooth lmaooo he’s still a scoundrel though

- Awwwe, the rags next to baby Caleb’s bed for his original pet Frumpkin 😭

- I wonder what are behind the other doors that we did not see... I guess that Door 8 is his jail cell that he shared with Veth when they first met?

- Caduceus remembering Fjord’s cat allergy, awwww Wildbros

- HAS LUCIEN BEEN EAVESDROPPING THIS WHOLE TIME???? PARDON MY FRENCH BUT HECK THAT GUY

- The cast’s “prima donna cat” impressions at about 2:58:57 are so funny sdfghjdk

- It’s following Yasha?! Leave her alone!!

- Yeah as much as I love Essek, I’m with Beau on this one. I think that contacting Essek is kind of a lost cause at this point, since he is in charge of Vermus Outpost/running a Dynasty operation/can’t just file for vacation time and leave... I hope that we do see him if the Nein meet up at the Vermus Outpost though!

- Don’t be shy, Matt, give us the Grampa Joe rant!

- GODDDD THIS IMAGERY AND THE DREAM THAT CALEB AND BEAU HAD IS SO CREEPY

- AND THE EYE!!!!! ON BEAU’S HAND!!!!!

- uhhhhhhh hey do you all remember veth’s conspiracy theory at the top of the episode because oh boy i sure do

- That was such an ominous end to the episode.... do they gain one eye every night? Or does it depend on how much of the book they read? Will they gain powers like Lucien has? I’m so intrigued oh my goodness, Matt Mercer you really know how to leave us on a cliffhanger!

- The fact that the next episode is over five hours is so ominous too.... wish me luck everyone because I have many, many fears

I met the Critical Role gang and it went... mostly okay!!!

So yes, it happened. I got my autographs from everyone (except Ashely cuz she is not there) from Critical Role! Below I will go into detail my interactions with each. Sadly, as I suspected, my nerves take over my memory and I have forgotten what they mostly said outside of the typical reactions and a few key moments, but here is how it went down!

Mary Elizabeth McGlynn - I was first in line for her and facing away from her and down when she came out behind the curtain to start and was not ready at all I turned around like the dramatic friggin Chipmunk. I kept apologizing for some reason and then I got her autograph! She was trying to remember the name of Allura, who I was cosplaying and she recognized, and I forgot what we first talked about but she was the first to sign the book! I told her how much I adored her work directing Cowboy Bebop and asked if she directed Tangled The Series (which I had read online she did) and she said yes and said how much I loved that! I actually chose to get a selfie with her which I didn't do for ANYONE else except Matt, which honestly IDK why it just felt like an impulse decision. At least it looks 1000x better than my Matt one... oh god. 

Sam Riegel - What compelled me to jump in and get Sam’s first, I have no idea. But I did. Anyway, this one went okay! I don’t remember much sadly, but I made a decision to tell the whole cast about my video editing and how they inspired me so much to get back into it and about my VFX video I did! I told Sam himself, the star, and he looked confused at first and I got nervous but I could tell when it clicked for him and he looked in SHOCK. He was like that, “that was YOU??? That was so good oh my god!” Pretty much all the cast had that reaction but only 3 are super memorable to me and he was definitely one of them. I remember he said something about how much hard work that must have been and to keep doing what I am doing or something along those lines. Then I tried quickly saying how much I love his voice work like Teddie from Persona, and while walking away said I was excited for Ducktales season 2 and he seemed happy by that and we parted ways!! I am sure there was more nuance too it but again, I FORGOT A LOT FROM MY NERVES.

Marisha Ray - I did these signings in SUCH a weird order, but I decided to get Marisha next. The sad part is that the most memorable moment was Matthew sitting right next to her doing her OWN signings and he randomly pointed to me and said “Hey just wanted to say you did such a great job on your cosplay! You look amazing!!! ” And I pretty much died right then and there like OH MY GOD. Then I actually got her autograph and she was super chill. I again kept anchoring to the inspiration to do my video editing thing so I told the same story to her and she recognized the video too! For some odd reason, I can’t remember her reaction and this really bums me out. I do remember her saying something along the lines of keep doing my best when making my work, but I also remember the incredibly endearing smile on her face when walking away.

Brian W. Foster - He was super chill and personable! There is a reason he is a good host on between the sheets for sure. I made the same video editing inspiration schpiel, but I feel like I worded myself better with him that time around? He was also super surprised and happy to learn it was me too! Sadly, can’t remember much after that, but once again it was all smiles and sweet words because anything bad or awkward would have stood out to me... trust me on that one later. 

Taliesin Jaffe - Taliesin was such a unique interaction! Beforehand he was having some kind of deep and emotional conversation with the woman before me, and I heard him saying something along the lines as “it's been hard” and “I'm getting by day by day” and I my nerves were kinda overcome by compassion. When it was my turn to speak I said hi and while he was smiling he genuinely looked like he was about to cry???? I was starting to talk but I interrupted myself and genuinely asked if he was okay. He said yeah and that it was all just kinda overwhelming. I kinda forgot this middle part, though I feel like I did bring up the video editing thing. He recognized it too and said that the industry needs way more talented and passionate editors and emphasized how important they are. I can’t remember if it was HIM or TRAVIS who said this, but he said something along the lines of the industry really needing people like editors with how hard it is to do and how they basically MAKE the stories into movies themselves. The more I think about it the more I think it was Travis who said it... a lot of my interaction memories are mixed up from my nerves. Either way, I did something very out of character and asked if I could give him a hug. He had seemed so upset earlier and I saw that other woman give him a hug, so I told myself, hey if you are gonna get a hug from a cast member today, Taliesin is a great choice who would probably say yes (but I wanted to hug Marisha so badly too you have no idea, she was so sweet and endearing and made me feel better. Most others did but she was so huggable looking at the time) We hugged tight and I was on my way!

Liam O Brien - ... okay, things sadly got weird here and it kinda puts my mood down. I won’t lie to you guys, Liam seemed really off. Maybe he was overwhelmed by something or very reserved from being shy, but it seemed more like disinterest and... acting rudely? I feel kinda awful implying he was a jerk or something, but I did a really bad job trying to hold a conversation with him and I can’t even remember IF I told him about the video. He was very quiet, and seemed put off by my nervousness in some way? Like he did say something along the lines of “its okay we’re just people” but I barely remember if we made eye contact at all? I thought it was me at first, but I remember when looking up at him after a bit he was the one looking away a lot and I am unsure if I did something to make him uncomfortable or what. What really threw me off the most was his kinda strange remark about me saying how I grew up watching Naruto and loved Gaara. He just kinda nodded and said, “yep, I was a voice of your childhood” like... in disdain as if he has heard that 100 times before? Look... I am NOT saying everyone has to have the same reactions or super happy cheery demeanors (Ex. Taliesin) but something was so disconnected about all of it. Maybe I am only remembering the minor bad parts and am forgetting the good parts, but still. As much as I still love Liam for what he does, he was not having a good time that day and I can only hope I didn't make it worse or even somehow cause it :(

Travis Willingham - Boy this one has the highest and the lowest points. When meeting him I said how nervous I was with these and started rambling and it got pretty bad but he anchored me back in by doing Grog’s voice!!! I told him yes it helped and made me laugh. That was able to get me into saying how much I loved his voice work as Roy Mustang and others, and eventually, I got to my video editing schpiel and he had a similar reaction to Sam! Again, HE may have been the person to tell me everything about how hard editing is and how they are the ones that really make the film, not Taliesin. Then we parted ways... and I realized I had missed SO FUCKING MUCH. I didn’t get to tell him how much I empathized with him recently, or how Fjord was my favorite character, how my favorite acting he did was in Infamous Second Son with Troy Baker. Seconds after walking away I literally yelled “Oh I forGOT TO SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE FJORD” Like really awkwardly as he was already on to the next person but yikes. Great middle, horrible beginning/end.

LAURA BAILEY - I reached a point where I was actually SO nervous I was normal. Like, on the edge of tears but not really so I acted normal but was screaming inside. Luckily she was super personable and I told her she was my favorite voice actress of all time. She asked me what were some of my favorite roles and I was like oh god there are so many but I said Maka from Soul Eater was huge for me and how she was my first cosplay. She said I would make a fantastic Maka and I was so friggin happy!! Then I told her about my editing and Sam video edit and she was so friggin delighted and told me how the WHOLE CAST had seen them because they shared it with each other on a group text chat! She looked so happy and endeared by my words and encouraged me to keep doing what I do. I wish I could remember her words specifically, this is LAURA BAILEY we are talking about!!!

Matthew Mercer - Oh boy here is the big one. Everyone kept saying how he was a long talker and had long conversations with everyone so I was so friggin ready for that. Sadly, I think they started speeding things up with me and I didn't get that long convo. Still, Matt once again complimented my cosplay and I said thank you. I said I forgot the earings which really bugged me but he said if it helps he didn't notice! Then I revealed I almost cried over it and mentally punched myself because why the fuck did I say that out loud. Anyway I immediately went into my video editing schpeil, but I made sure to talk slower and more clearly since people said he made more time. I remember specifically saying thank you for retweeting it and then he recognized it and said how hard that must have been and how amazing it was. He went into this story about how got into editing himself a bit with using final cut pro and adobe after effects and how difficult and tiring it was for him to edit a project he was working on and commended me on how amazing the job was and how we need more editors out there to do that kind of work. I elaborated more on how much he and the rest meant to me and how they got me out of this rutt and helped me find a way to make something for myself and he held my hands real tight and reassured me. Again, WISH I COULD REMEMBER THE FUCKING WORDS, but he looked so happy and emotional for me and all of it felt extremely genuine. What a god damn sweetheart. Here is where things get bad and awkward tho... I forgot my selfie. I paid for a selfie and realized I had FORGOTTON to take it like 10 seconds later after the next person already started talking. I panicked and walked back to the guy managing the lines and he was like OH okay but I apologized to the people on line and him and he said “HEY GUYS are you alright with this young lady getting her selfie??” and they all were like YES and I felt embarrassed but better. Then he told Matt and he was like OH of course okay!! And I gave him my phone because I was confused and nervous and NOT READY or composed like I would have been before. I look awful with my neck way too far back, but it could have been worse... except the moment he took the photo I dropped my prop staff into my face and knocked my head back... I was friggin humiliated. He was like ah are you okay and I literally just said bye have a good day and rushed off almost dropping all my shit without looking at him at all. What a way for me to RUIN a perfectly decent signing... I hope he didn't think I was rude and understood I was kinda hugely embarrassed.

This is seconds before tragedy strikes.

Will Friedle - Yes oddly enough Matthew was not my last signing like I wanted, Will had a different schedule so he was last!  Anyway I was kinda feeling bad cause I never watched Boy Meets World and I didn’t remember much about Kashaw other than he was kinda a jerk but a loveable one who was played really funny, and oh yeah he is RON STOPPABLE. So I refrained from saying and Crit Role stuff since the woman before me already asked all of that and got cool answers to (Vex and Vax would not be Zarha and Kashaw’s kid's names, he would let them have Teifling names) Anyway I was thrown off by him ROLLING A D20 outta nowhere and getting a 7. He rolled again so quickly and I said “Oh man a natural 1?” on the 7 because I didn't see it correctly, less than a second later guess what?? HE ROLLED A 1!! I laughed so hard I felt like I jinxed him! Either way, ALL my nerves were gone from that and it felt a lot better to get his autograph. I told him how much I loved Kim Possible growing up and Ron Stoppable, and how I always used to sing the naked mole rap with my family as a kid and how the bendy straw joke from the movie still kills me. It was way more relaxed then I expected. Then he said okay before you go let me roll and break the curse one last time. Right before he did he said you know what? YOU roll it and see if I could break his curse! I happily took it wishing for the best... I rolled a friggin 2. He said “well at least its better than 1″ and we were both so amused by it as I left! All things considering his went very well!! Anyway, that was my experience with CR autographs today! Some big highs, some big lows, and many content smiles and awkward silence. Overall I consider it a success... but barely. I did fuck up and missed most of their live show floor panel and I'm still kicking myself in the ass for that one. 

I just finished Marisha Ray’s episode of Between the Sheets and like....... I’m gonna say the thing I need people to know again.

I teach college freshmen.

I have received multiple trainings about what to do when (not if, WHEN) a student reports to me that they have been raped or assaulted.

I have contacted my school’s Title IX office on behalf of a student before. So have many of my colleagues. So have many of our mentors.

I will do it again before my career is out. Probably multiple times. Hopefully not soon. But I am not so foolishly optimistic as to think it won’t happen again. It will. It does. I’d rather know and be able to support them than never know, even though it hurts every time.

I also know a lot of the systems in place re-traumatize people and that I have no way of ensuring that the people they meet in those systems will not be shitty and make it worse.

I continue to live in a world where I know there will be a day when we sit in our collective office and someone talks about having to send a Title IX report or not knowing how to help a student or knowing a student is going through hard times and feeling powerless to fix it.

I know that sexual assault is common in lots of places that aren’t colleges. But it’s SO prevalent in colleges and NOT just in that stereotypical frat-party kind of way. And a lot of people forget that or just don’t know it.

We have to do better and be better for our young people.

Don’t forget that when the drama of the big high-profile cases fades, we still have a problem and we still have to fix it.

I sure as heck can’t forget that. Not with vulnerable people away from home for the first time sitting in front of me, going through all the hard and rocky and tumultuous parts of a normal college experience. Not when I know that for some of them, they have so much more to figure out than just how to live on their own.

Anyway, don’t forget to love each other.

Was that [LEVY TRAN]? Oh no no, that was just [BEAUREGARD LIONETT], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [CRITICAL ROLE]. They are [UNKNOWN/25] years old and [ARE] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

* this is not totally complete, but the important stuff is there.

hopefully i can make this semi-short....but doubtful fdjhk;alfd

background: 

beau is from the second campaign of crit role! (like jester)

she’s played by marisha ray

she has a super cool undercut and is just all around badass

beau grew up in the town of kamordah. there, her father/parents ran a successful winery. she worked the books, but didn’t care much for it. her father was standoffish and distant, and to spite that, she began selling the wine at cost behind his back.

when he found out about her bootlegging and criminal activity and after some time had sought out and bribed an archivist of the Cobalt Soul to arrange for the "kidnapping" of his own daughter, wanting to get rid of her for being an embarrassment and his misfortune.

Six months into her tenure as an initiate, her mother sent her a letter saying she and her father had been "granted their greatest wish and had a son". Beau herself took the letter to mean her parents no longer wanted any contact with her. She assumed they were no longer going to pay the Cobalt Soul to train her and thought she would be doing the monks a favor by leaving. And so she did so, abandoning the Valley Archive to pursue her own ends.

 during this time, she met a half orc (fjord) and a blue tiefling (jester) on the amber crossroads and together they ventured to trostenwald. there they met a few more strangers who together eventually became the mighty nein. 

the m9 consists of 7 people: her, a human monk fjord, a half orc warlock-paladin jester, a tiefling cleric caleb, a human wizard veth, a halfling rogue mollymauk, a tiefling blood hunter yasha, an asimar barbarian and caduceus, a firbolg cleric 

this is straying from her backstory a little, but here are a few important points that will explain the molly strikethrough SPOILERS FOR CAMPAIGN 2 (eps 26 & 28-29ish) (also taken from jester’s intro lmao) 

molly was an original member of the mighty nein. after jester, fjord and yasha were taken one night, the remaining members tracked down who took them, a group called the iron shepherds. cutting them off on their way back to their base, molly, beau, caleb, nott, and a temporary ally keg, battle with them. though aware of his low hp, molly activates his scimitars, getting a hit or two in before going unconscious. the leader of the iron shepherds, lorenzo, gets the final blow on molly, stabbing him through the chest, thus killing him. 

 a day or two later, heading through the forest, the small group (beau, caleb, nott, keg) come upon the blooming grove. there, they meet caduceus clay, who joins them in saving jester, fjord, and yasha from the iron shepherds. 

 in washington:

how long has your character been here? onlt a couple weeks

what is your character's job? unemployed for now

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom? the end of the campaign

has any magic affected your character? nope! she has all her memories

any other information: yes, a lot...i’m going to try to be a succinct as possible. (it can also all be found here)

pirate arc: (episodes 30-45) tw: death, murder in the midst of a fight on the docks in nicodranas, the mighty nein board and subsequently steal a ship, the mist, renaming it the mistake. fjord becomes defacto captain, having the most experience sailing. beau is his first mate. on their journey to the island darktow, they cross paths with the squalleater, a ship captained by avantika. together they make their way to darktow, where the revelry and its leader, the plank king, reside. while on the water, jester and beau sneak into avantika’s captain’s quarters and steal a bunch of stuff, including a journal of sorts filled with plans of wanting to overthrow the plank king. when a fight breaks out between the m9 and avantika’s crew, beau takes the journal to the plank king who asks avantika if what’s written in it is true and when she gives no response, he snaps her neck. he then bans the mighty nein from darktow as they broke one of its rules: don’t steal from members of the revelry (which avantika was one). he lets them take her ship and the mistake is left there. they rename their new ship the balleater. on their voyage back, a stowaway is found in the hull, a little gnome girl, twiggy. she shows them her “happy fun ball of tricks,” which when finally messed with, sucked them all into a pocket dimension. (everyone except yasha) they explored around as they tried to get out and when they finally did, several days had passed, despite only a handful of hours had for them inside the ball. twiggy lets them keep it and they go their separate ways.

xhorhas arc: (48-69)

arc: (72-97)

pairate arc 2: (98-110)

aeor arc: (111-141)

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E121 (Jan. 19, 2021)

Aaaand we're back! The epic pet montage at the start is still the greatest thing ever.

Tonight's guests? Matthew Mercer and Marisha Ray!

We begin with an extensive discussion of waffle farts. As you do.

Matt is asked what it's been like to get to build out the characters in the Tombtakers. Lucien is Matt's favorite, but they've all got some fun traits to them. "It's one of those rare experiences as a dungeon master where you get to watch your players combat with the necessity of playing along. The instinct is: fuck these guys, I want to fight them, we'll take their shit... or I guess we have to play nice. And they begrudgingly grit their teeth and I smile internally."

On the Lucien accent: "You guys are all so mean to Taliesin!" Matt knew his own take would be a "weird mutation" of Mollymauk's accent anyway.

How's Marisha feeling about a lot of her predictions panning out? "Aw, I mean, gee, me? What? Noooo. It's definitely vindicating, I'm not gonna lie, and rewarding, but I also know that I write a lot of shit down in that notebook that's never relevant ever again. It's definitely a good feeling to know that I didn't go on that fifteen-minute deep dive and was utterly wrong about everything I said." Matt: "I was super proud. I was just silently cheering you on as you went on these long tangents."

What does Lucien think of the Mighty Nein? "Lucien is definitely curious about why they're getting involved in his shit and what they're planning alongside them. One, he hates Beau because he doesn't like people who challenge his authority. He gravitates towards Jester to an extent because she's the most open, which from his standpoint makes her easiest to manipulate. He loves toying with curiosity, and so between Jester and Caleb, those are the two people that he's the most comfortable interacting with. Caduceus makes him feel a little weird. He's amused by them. Fjord to Lucien is one of the more guarded and less accessible at the moment."

Is Beau enjoying getting under Lucien's skin? "Beau's picking and poking still kind of stems from her defensiveness and guardedness and her feelings, in a lot of ways, and the way that she's coping with things. It's a few steps removed from her default and what she often resorts to when she starts throwing up those barriers. She still has in the back of her head that she's looking at her dead friend. It's her way of protecting herself if she can go, fuck you, I don't care about you. This isn't too dissimilar to the way she reacted when Yasha was brainwashed." Matt: "It's a unique social sparring match the whole time they're traveling side-by-side. It's unique to have an antagonistic force that you're--" Marisha: "That we're going camping with."

Navigating the Tombtaker/M9 relationship as a DM is "challenging. At any given moment, a wrong statement could escalate matters one way or the other. It's having to pay attention to a lot of things at all points in time to be ready for how those chain reactions can happen and where it might go." He likens it to trying to follow and participate in two different conversations simultaneously at a party.

On the note from Yasha: "Oh man, you guys. Oh, it was so sweet. I don't think Beau was expecting Yasha to be so forthcoming with everything, and so complimentary and eloquent. Beau is awkward with healthy relationships, so she doesn't know how to handle them. She's still processing that and wants to not ruin it. No, it was magical." Ashley told Marisha after the episode that she was trying to think of what to say and wound up basing it on what she would say about Marisha.

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Vax (by stormfeather_cosplay, photograph by travi_b, both on Instagram)!

On using variations on the Wild Magic table: "I wanted to give it some variation to consequences. They took some of the tooth out of it from earlier editions. I knew it would be fun once I gave them the specifications of when these things would happen - players are just waiting for someone to roll a 20 or a 1 at all times."

Why is it so important to Beau that she and Yasha have a proper date? Part of it is a fresh start. "So much of Beau's past relationships have been rooted in some toxic behavior. Beau feels like, well, maybe we should just start from the beginning in the most us way possible: fighting through the tundra with our dead-ish friend."

The sci-fi-ish theme came toward the end of developing Aeor, but it mostly comes from rationalization. Matt is intrigued by how all these different societies want to usurp the gods... which has parallels with modern society. He notes that focusing more on the science of the magic means the aesthetics pull away to "instead facilitate the utility or the most direct route to the answers you want. You streamline as opposed to focusing on the aesthetics."

Beau’s reaction to all the weird magic stuff? “I think Beau’s just so focused on the pragmatic aspects of it all right now. There are greedy people with motives and the will and want to corrupt across all spans of cultures and times. She’s trying not to get lost in the magic, both proverbially and literally, of it all, and just trying to focus on the motives of these people at hand.”

In some ways, Matt was surprised by Caduceus’ strong reaction to the creepy woods. “It was the first major reveal that there are some other sides to the coin that he hadn’t learned about. I had no idea how he would react. It pushed him away more in ways than I expected.”

Fan art of the week: an amazing Lucien! (by oratorkayla on Twitter)

What’s Dagen’s motivation? “He’s definitely a man of his word when it comes to fulfilling a contract and getting the other half of his pay, but it’s not hard to see they’ve grown on him a little bit. He’s really good at getting around the tundra unseen and unnoticed.”

Brian: “In true Sam fashion-” Marisha, instantly: “OH MY GOD.”

Marisha: “Here’s the thing. Here’s the tea, okay? If I ever hear one more fucking person trying to claim that I’m ruining things by metagaming, I’m going to point to Sam. I’m expected to respond accordingly to Veth being a Sam troll. Gods damn him! Raven Queen curse upon him! Let chaos reign! He made me pull out my earphones, I can’t hear anything you’re saying. It’s frustrating because I’d be mad at it if it wasn’t so god damn funny.” Matt notes that at a different table this wouldn’t be great behavior, but they all know each other well enough (and check in with each other enough) that it’s comfortable teasing.

With a bit of a deeper pull, Matt is asked whether he knew Avantika would return someday? “I knew she was a fun, interesting option out there. The M9 still have in their grasp the single most important artifact, in Uk’otoa’s opinion, at the moment. As long as they carry that artifact, his eye of Sauron is upon them.” Matt notes that he has more encounter tables going, so a lot of the time even he’s not sure what’s going to happen.

Caduceus suggested contacting Essek, but Beau and Caleb nixed that idea. Does Beau trust him? “Gods no. Absolutely not. She can like Essek personally. As a person, he’s fine, I guess. But I think a lot of people might be forgetting that he’s kind of a war criminal and kind of set off a lot of bad things in motion with this war with the Empire and the Dynasty, because he wanted power and to know things. So now here he is, also in Aeor. Yeah. Just kinda putting two and two together there. It is another one of those things of, you’re walking that line on trying to keep him on your good side and having a mutually beneficial relationship before it could easily go completely south.”

On the Star Razor being a Vestige: “I don’t want this to be--- the Vestiges aren’t always a thing where it’s like, you get a Vestige and you get a Vestige! I want them to be still considered special and rare. This is one that had to be earned, it had to be reforged. I didn’t know the circumstances that would involve it coming about.” He based it on the circumstances of Fjord’s evolution into a paladin. “In essence, not only did he finish the creation of the sword, but he Awakened it at the same time as he made this transition. It is Exalted at this point, it’s in its final form.”

What does Beau think might lie ahead? “I have no idea. I am trying to abandon expectation when it comes to that. I know what we don’t know, and that’s it. Beau is trying to compensate for the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns. I hope we can keep this tenuous relationship through to Aeor, because we need more answers before it explodes in our face. Beau, and Marisha, is hoping for a little more information before shit hits the fan.”