so about that laudna-has-no-future 4sd chat...
marisha ray has throwaway lines and that is her god given right like anyone else and truly this may mean nothing
BUT
me personally i bluescreened when marisha said "what does laudna have to look forward to, she's dead" in response to a question of would laudna rather make contact with her future or past self.
i think laudna and her evolving worldview over the course of this campaign is sooooooo interesting so thoughts under the cut
"the worst thing that’s ever happened to me has already happened."
we all remember this! this is the response that laudna gave to orym when he softly pointed out that laudna seemed like she had the most positive outlook of the group. it was a central tenet of laudna's character up until that point, that despite the darkness that coated her soul, she was probably the one with the most zest for life.
she tended to believe the best in npcs that the party encountered. she had a rat marionette that got boners and made her laugh. she was wholeheartedly devoted to imogen and never, never believed that the end was the end.
and then, when orym asked her how she accomplished that, she responds in a framing of perspective.
she was murdered by the briarwoods at twenty years old. how can anything seem awful in comparison to that?
she died, and then she got to join an adventuring party. she died, and then she got to use her strange, eerie powers for good. she died, and then she met imogen.
she has hope because she's seen the lowest possible point her life can come to, and can only climb upwards from there.
she had a hope for a future, because of this. a good future. at least one that was better than the worst thing that had ever happened to her. and that future included imogen—
"can keep you from that. can keep us from that."
she had hope.
we all know this quote. this quote is the cottagecore lesbian life that marisha spoke to in four-sided dive. but i think to look at where laudna's at now, and to understand "what does laudna have to look forward to, she's dead", we have to look at the quote in greater context.
laudna is speaking to a possible future here. but in her words she's also saying that she understands that that future might mean abandoning what they feel called to do by the gods. in this moment, she's not guaranteeing a future, she's explaining to imogen that they have a choice.
and as of now, episode 82, arrived on the moon, they've made that choice. they're orpheus. they've descended into hell, and they can't look back if they want to make it out.
it's important to note that laudna wasn't lying way back in heartmoor when she was talking to orym. the worst thing that could ever happen to her had already happened. but she was operating then on her very human understanding of the world.
since then, she's died (again), been resurrected, seen magic beyond comprehension, and surrendered herself over to the spirit of her murderer that lives in her head.
there are no rules anymore. and laudna has learned that there is always something worse.
the quiet life she talked about with imogen might have been taken from her forever. the narrative has grown teeth and it has sunk them into both her and the woman she loves.
"what does laudna have to look forward to, she's dead"
she's orpheus, yeah? we know how this story ends. her love's been called to the hell planet by fate. she won't get out without losing something.
maybe—maybe—there's still hope for that cottage together somewhere. i don't mean to rule it out entirely. but i think that laudna herself, the character, has lost all belief in that possibility at this point. and that presents such a foil to the laudna that we met in episode 1.
sometimes the tragedy comes built-in.
even if. even when.
(all quotes pulled from critical role wiki's transcripts page)
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