cc. your tags on the boudoir post. MAMMON recieving an album of those photos. i'd love to hear your thoughts on his reaction (and everyone else's, if you're feeling particularly inspired?)

Ah, Daisy, my dear, thank you for asking!

I apologize for this late response, but I knew I was gonna be getting wordy with this one. Because I looove the boudoir photos idea in general and OH MAN just thinking about all their reactions is making me crazy lol. I was going to just do my regular sort of response, but this turned into full on headcanons oops.

So just in case anyone missed it, here is the original post!

My thoughts change a little bit depending on whether MC is present when the characters receive the pictures, so I included both! I only did the bros but I might be willing to do the rest upon request!

the brothers react to MC giving them an album of boudoir photos

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: suggestive but that's about it, nothing explicit

Lucifer

When you're with him, Lucifer is calm and courteous, but with a flare of arrogance. Of course you would give him such a special gift. It's only natural that you would trust such intimacies to him.

He asks you if you're trying to tell him something. Has he perhaps been neglecting you, MC? Did you give him this so that he wouldn't be able to help himself? He's onto you.

No matter your reason, he can't look through too many of the pictures before wanting the real thing that's sitting right next to him. Tell him you still have some of that lingerie in your possession. Especially if you happen to have some in his colors.

If you aren't with him, he's going to be a lot less arrogant in general. He will find you later, make no mistake. But he's honestly so touched by your gift that he spends a lot of time looking through the album, simply admiring you.

Mammon

Mammon is freaking out no matter where you are the time. If you're with him, it's definitely a lot worse. Blushing profusely. Opens the album then slams it shut because he can't handle looking at it for very long.

You can't help but giggle at his reaction and then it's all stop laughin' at him MC!! You'll need to take his hands or maybe kiss his cheek, let him know that you genuinely just wanted to give him a nice gift, you aren't trying to tease him or anything.

Ask him if he likes it. You'll get a serious response. Calms down enough to say 'course he likes it. Likes it so much, he suddenly can't keep his hands off you.

If you aren't with him at the time, he buries it under his pillow or otherwise hides it because this is now one of his treasures and nobody gets to see it but him!

Leviathan

Levi is another one who'd be a blushing mess no matter what, but if you're there at the time, he might retreat to his room and not let you in. He needs that barrier between you because if he sees you right now, his heart will explode.

He'll let you back in eventually, but it might be a minute. He needs to calm down. Are you trying to kill him, MC?! Even when he does let you in, he can't look at you directly. He's probably covering his face with his hands.

Reassure him that you gave these photos to him because you trust him with them. They're personal, intimate, and you want him to be close to you. He's going to calm down the more you talk to him. Pull his hands away from his face and when he sees the sincerity in your eyes, it flips a switch. Might even slip into demon form just to wrap his tail around you possessively.

If you're not with him at the time, he's going to need to take care of that raging boner of his right away. He won't be able to focus on anything else until he does. He's so embarrassed, he has to watch several episodes of Ruri Hana to recalibrate.

Satan

He will try to keep his expression unreadable. He's not having any over the top reactions, but as he flips through the photos, he keeps getting redder and redder. You're sitting right next to him, how can he not react? At some point, he has to close the album because he feels like he's looking at something he shouldn't.

Satan is quiet about how flustered he is, but he's having a hard time looking at you. He tries to say something and incomprehensible lines about how beautiful you are fall from his lips. He sounds like a broken record of spoken word poetry or perhaps a very drunk beat poet.

Recovers himself after a minute. As soon as he's composed, you're in his arms. You knew what this would do to him, didn't you, MC? You'll find yourself pressed up against the nearest wall in moments.

If you're not with him, Satan will tuck your album into a stack of his other books. He thinks it's well hidden there - in plain sight. But he's hyper aware of it. Keeps coming back to look at it. Ends up having to put it on the bottom of a stack behind a different stack to make it more difficult to get to.

Asmodeus

Thrilled. Absolutely thrilled in every way. Oh, wow, MC, you look amazing. He's breathless. He's entranced. He's even blushing because he knows what it means that you've given these to him. He's so in love with you, he can't stand it.

Asks you about everything you may be wearing. Comments on the skill of the photographer. Tells you that next time, you should do one together. He has so many ideas. He wants to do one where all you're wearing is jewelry - bright and sparkling, just like your soul.

Covers you in kisses. He's not shy about how this is making him feel, how much he wants you. He just wants to see your beautiful figure here and now in real life, MC! Won't you let him worship you?

If you're not with him, he will find you immediately so he can say all of the things he needs to say in that moment. You can't leave him alone with all these feelings, both physical and emotional. He brings them all to you without hesitating.

Beelzebub

It might take him a minute to understand exactly what he's looking at, mostly because he's never even heard of this. He doesn't know what a boudoir photo shoot is, so you might have to explain it to him. Once he understands, he starts lightly blushing as he looks through them. His expression is serious because he's beginning to see just how special this is.

Honestly surprised that you would give him something so intimate. He's touched. He's going to hug it to himself and look at you with tears in his eyes because he can't believe how lucky he is.

Give him another couple minutes to look through them and then he's having different feelings. He's not sure if he can hold back, MC. Tell him it's okay, that you don't want him to, and you'll find yourself on your back on his bed in zero seconds flat. You're quickly reminded why he's the Avatar of Gluttony.

If you're not with him at the time, he will figure things out on his own, though he'll have a plethora of questions for you later. He keeps it close to him at all times until you answer them because he knows one thing for sure - he doesn't want anyone else seeing these.

Belphegor

Oh, he sees what you're playing at. Trying to fluster him, are you, MC? Trying to rile him up? Are you sure you can handle him when you do that? He's so wound up by the gift he can't act normal about it. He's actually very touched by it, but he's not sure how to deal with the feelings, so he comes on too strong.

You laugh because to you, this is expected. You understand that this is Belphie's way of dealing with his own shyness. You respond by meeting him with just as much intensity. It's all kisses and touching and fumbling in the dark.

It's only later, when both of you are calm, when you're nestled in his arms, that he admits to you how much it means to him. That he tells you how he'll cherish the album you gave him. That he says he's stunned by how gorgeous you are, even more brilliant that the stars in the sky.

If you aren't with him at the time, you'll be dealing with a petulant but horny demon later on. He's going to be annoyed at you for leaving it for him and then not being there when it inevitably turns him on. Just as possessive as his brothers, he hides it in the attic where no one is likely to find it.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

I have no control impulse. Inspired by this masterpiece from the lovely @blamemma (also hello @summer04rayne @jisblooming <3)

Or how I ended up writing a streamer!Max AU

° ° °

“What's got you smiling like that, mate?”

Max blinks, zoning back into the conversation.

“What?”

Alex, his best friend, the traitor, chuckles at his confusion, and when he looks at his screen, the chat is doing so too. Max flushes, quickly locking his phone before focusing back on the stream. Alex is grinning widely at him on the screen. Ugh, what a pain.

“Tell us, Maxy, come on, what got you giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush, eh?”

That fucker! Alex laughs knowingly, and the chat goes wild as usual when they get to tease him, and Max knows he'll have to answer now. He clears his throat, trying to sound as unruffled as possible.

“I just- found a really cool looking Instagram page, that's all…”

The Thai's grin somehow widens even more, almost shark-like, and Max just dug his own grave, didn't he?

“Yeah? Wouldn't it happen to be a certain travel vlogger's page, perchance, Maxy?”

The blonde feels heat rising in his face, and he doesn’t need to look into the screen to know that he's blushing furiously. It's probably spreading to his neck too, god. Max hides his face in his hands, embarrassment making his skin crawl. Him and his big mouth and his lack of self-control when it comes to a certain curly haired brunette.

“That's- it's not- ugh!”

He stumbles over his words, and he hears Alex laugh harder in his headset. He knows it's good natured, though, and that's the only thing keeping him from just ending the call.

“Tell them more about Daniel, Max! Look how excited they are, you can't deny them that, come on!”

Max shakes his head, drinks a sip of his Red Bull to try and regain his composure. Alex got the chat involved now, and that means he can’t just brush it off. Well, he could, and honestly, apart from some trolls here and there, his little community is really nice and understanding, and they know not to push on things if Max doesn't want to elaborate. But… this is kind of harmless, he guesses, so he can play their game a bit.

The blonde sighs, glancing at the chat, and yeah, they're going wild. Thanks, Alex

“I don't even know why I'm friends with you, at this point.”

“Don't say that! I know you love my pretty face and my humor.”

° ° °

Half an hour later, Max wraps up the stream, a faint blush lingering on his cheeks after all that had happened during what Alex had described as “gushing over Daniel for more than ten minutes”.

He gets up, tidying his desk, throwing away the empty Red Bull cans and water bottles, as well as any wrapper he could find. Finally, he leaves his streaming room, shutting off all the lights and closing the door.

There's no sounds in the small apartment, which probably means his roommate is already asleep. It's like, 3am, so, fair. Max gets ready for bed before slipping under the covers, practically melting on the soft mattress. Just as he reaches for his phone to plug it to charge, he sees it.

Daniel Ricciardo uploaded a new video

He clicks on it with neck breaking speed, a beginning of shame curling in his gut when he sees it was posted barely thirty seconds ago. He likes it, saves it in a playlist for good measure, and lets Daniel's australian accent drown his self-loathing and lull him to sleep.

i'm freaking out because someone who watched the episode in the media was asked if after the episode will their be new buddie theories and she said she already has one but won't reveal it till after the episode. Which you can basically take that to mean something is going to happen with buck and eddie that's going to have fans theorizing/speculating after the episode. I'm honestly thinking that it's gonna be heavily teased that something happened between buddie at or after the bachelor party. like a charged moment or almost kiss but it won't be revealed at all in the episode. we will get like a glimpse of it and only eddie is going to remember pieces of it which will lead into his catholic guilt arc. and we're gonna spend the rest of the season trying to figure out what actually happened between buddie after the bachelor party and Eddie's gonna be keeping this huge secret from Buck.

it won't be revealed till the finale or something. My money is ultimately when the puzzle forms it's that buck and eddie almost kissed after the bachelor party but got interrupted by one of their many many party guests and by the finale I see Buck remembering what happened as well.

Suffice to say something is happening between buddie in this episode enough that media already has a buddie theory and she'll post it after the episode which means it will feature spoilers from this episode speculating a theory regarding buddie so that means something happens in this episode that's gonna lead fans to speculate about buddie and what happened between them?

Bestie, I literally wrote this as a fic idea right after 705 soaksasokasasok like, with how all over each other buddie seems to be you can ABSOLUTELY have a charged moment between them that doesn't connect just because they got interrupted and we don't see it until one of them talks about it later on, probably Eddie to someone, maybe Frank, and have that trigger Eddie's sexuality arc within the guilt arc, like, legit, I can see it happening, I mostly don't think the show would actually go for it, but honestly, this season keeps surprising me so... but it is a way to trigger Eddie's sexuality arc using Buck without pulling the trigger on buddie too soon, and keeping Buck oblivious to what's actually going on with Eddie while letting Buck explore his bisexuality outside of Eddie and Eddie trying to work through his own feelings would be nice. And it would be a nice parallel to Buck freaking about lying to Eddie about the date with T (because they LOVE to parallel the two of them), because Eddie would totally feel like he has to lie, because one, he doesn't understand what it means for him, two, he doesn't understand what it means for the both of them, and three if Buck is going to be infatuated about T, he wouldn't sabotage that, four, he still needs to deal with the searching for Shannon of it all, and this is a way to put the ball completely on Buck's court AND it is a way to address the emotional power imbalance that exists within buddie, because Eddie calls the shots a lot and that can't keep happening for them to be a good couple, yk? They can make Eddie explicitly make another unilateral decision about their relationship on the idea that he just knows Buck so well and knows how he's going to react, the whole I'm not enough thing could come back or just straight up use the I feel like she sees me and the I kinda can't stop thinking about him for Eddie to just decide that Buck was just too drunk and it wasn't really about him or about Buck wanting to make that change in their relationship or having feelings for him, and just expect Buck to go with it, and to have Buck reach that point where he realizes what happened and he decides to force Eddie into that conversation, I'm game, dude, like, legit, would love that. Even more, if we have some sort of emergency where both of them are in danger (trapped dads/drown Buck I will never give up on you) and you have Eddie aware to some degree and Buck being Buck without actually knowing until something happens and he's like OH FUCK and we can have the beginning of s8 addressing the will they do something about it or just keep pretending it's not there until they figure out they don't really have a choice, it's where they were going all along (buddie getting together 804 aka 100 episodes after Eddie got introduced maybe?), like, they can even have some conversation being interrupted, you can have things being said during the emergency they just don't have the chance to talk about, with the recovery or things going to hell or actually being interrupted by everyone and everything around them, especially if T is still in the mix, you can have the emergency be a season finale cliffhanger because they already have s8 confirmed and they never did a season cliffhanger and I feel like we are due one soon, and things would only be dealt with later. There's a lot to explore if something almost happens with them being drunk, and Eddie remembers but Buck doesn't. You can even add stuff like making Eddie work himself through his reactions to Buck so far or straight up confirm he has some level of awareness that his feelings for Buck are not all that platonic (Eddie fell first essay I will never give up on you) he just didn't know how to interpret that yet. It would open some fun possibilities, and considering the insistence on the triangle imagery, to make it an actual media love triangle by finally connecting the Buck and Eddie's side on a romantic level? It would add up.

I’ve been thinking back to artist stuff in high school and man people are really weird about furry stuff in a way that seems like they’re super afraid to be associated with it at all. I don’t/didn’t consider myself a furry but I recognize my art is obviously furry-adjacent at times and I don’t mind that.

I’d almost always bring my sketch book to school with me so I can draw during breaks and stuff and the amount of times people (sometimes complete strangers!) would randomly insult me for drawing “furry shit” (once this happened bc I was drawing bojack horseman characters LMAO) like ppl are usually polite when they see me (or others from what I’ve seen) drawing in public, will either ignore it or say something nice or funny if they do comment on it, unless it’s something they think is furry art.

It’s baffling to me like this is so obviously not how these people would normally behave but it feels like they’re so afraid of being seen as cringe they feel they have to point out any cringe they see so that no one thinks they’re cringe. Grown adults can do this stuff too but it was obv much more common for me in high school.

And it was so shitty how it made me actually somewhat ashamed of drawing anything that could be perceived as furry, even though I’ve loved drawing animals my whole life since I was a child, and I never had anything against furries and had both irl and online friends who were furries.

I don’t feel any of that shame anymore and just draw whatever I want (it helps that I’m no longer getting strangers commenting on my art like this irl, and that I’m not as insecure a person as I was in high school) it’s just so fucking weird that people feel comfortable acting like this

"Wash me clean again before I pull myself beneath the waves" A Series of Small Offerings - III/11 - day31

flustered fucking dumbass

All that NOT TO EVEN MENTION that idk what THEY saw but when I go look in the Solarpunk tag the first thing I see is a post going ‘uguuuu the solarpunk tag isnt solarpunk enough for meeeeeee’ and then immediately afterwards the next few posts are

- people talking about community building

- people talking about how to make patches

- people talking about actions they’re taking, like making their own clothes or planning a garden

- people talking about actions other people are doing, like reusing items to make new functional items, and more

- people talking about actions that we all should be doing more often, like growing and sharing food, or advocating for things like image IDs on posts (which like for real we should all start adding image IDs on our posts)

- maybe a handful of aesthetic posts

- people making posts talking about how the movement started off as an aesthetic in response to all the people who keep going into the tag and deriding it for not being ‘punk enough’

This goes for both ‘top posts’ view AND ‘latest’ view btw, different ones, some with fewer notes than others, and different posts in different views obviously but like.

Even the aesthetic posts that DO show up are for the most part either A: art that visualizes a green future for us to strive towards B: ‘here’s my garden! How can you do something similar? Lets talk about it!’ C: literally stuff people are already doing to strive for a better future but with really good image quality so it looks pretty or D: concept art for like. Clean energy solutions or community centers or other solutions that would help build a better future. Maybe thats just A rephrased but screw it.

IDK. Maybe our punk looks different than what people are expecting???? A lot greener and more environmental than what my parents sure think of when they hear ‘punk’ thats for sure. But I don’t think that should make it less-than.

Either that or I simply follow so many solarpunk people who are talking about action and politics and resistance and such that I don’t see as many aesthetic posts as someone new to The Club may see. Cause I genuinely usually have to search for the aesthetic stuff. But even if that is the case, all that means is that you can’t give something a cursory 2.7 second glance and then go ‘why am I not seeing the punk stuff!!!’

levi/barbatos is currently rotating in my head rn and is tumbling like clothes in a dryer so you know what? headcanon list time lets go I thank you the total of like 5 people who will end up reading this they mean the world to me okay?

LEVIBARB HEADCANONS

Leviathan falling for Barb first, and man does he fall hard

He starts crushing on the butler when he fixes his cosplay; Levi had ordered it and it showed up damaged and ripped. Barbatos got around to fixing it before Levi could, and he hadn't even asked him to do so

It's just the idea of that Barb is so cool. Like cooler than anyone that Levi knows

He can bake, sew, he knows curses and spells, has wisdom on just about anything and everything--he's the cool type in dating sims. A kuudere, if you will, but even cooler

I don't think Levi has ever had a real crush on someone before. like don't get me wrong he has so many characters from his games and anime that he would do just about anything for, but I don't think he's really harbored those feelings for someone that is not in a computer screen

i like to think levi would then be so obvious about his crush on the butler, while the thinks he's being cool about it. everyone in a five mile radius knows about it lol

and ofc barbatos knows about it. like how could he not? levi isn't exactly secretive about it. the demon started to come over a lot more and try to find excuses to hang out with the butler

Barb humored him tho, because he did find him kinda cute. but more like in a way one would feel towards a sopping wet cat they found on the side of the street. he found it funny that levi was at times even willing to help him with things like baking or tending to the gardens, even when he wasn't good at either of those things

At some point it changed, though. Barbatos isn't sure when, but there is a point where it changes from him humoring Levi for the fun of it and into enjoying the other's company

Such an odd pair, tbh. They both know it but they are good for each other me thinks

Like??? As I've discussed Barb starts to genuinely enjoy Lev's company. He starts to laugh and smile more, acting less stoic even when Levi wasn't around

And Levi acting like a high school girl in love??? That's the good shit lol 💞💞 he is so much happier with life and the outside world and even came to terms with Barb being a normie! Because he is willing to learn <33

because!!! because Barb is open to learning about Levi's interests. Levi helps him interact kitchen (even though he isn't the best at baking) and he tends to the garden with him (even though he isn't all that knowledgeable on plants), and seeing as levi indulges in his hobbies, why not enjoy is free time in what levi likes?

Besides, levi just looks so happy when barb offers to play a game or watch an anime with him. and yeah barb fucking sucks ass at the games and has to politely ask levi to stop pausing on each frame of the episode in order to get through it all, but its the quality time together that counts

do you think about how lucifer and the others would feel? because i think about that all the time

like again levi isn't able to keep his crush secret at all so i imagine all his brothers (sans lucifer) try and help him out. like they drop heavy hints towards barb about how levi is interested in him while levi fights off the urge to call lotan out of sheer embarrassment in order to get them to stop

mammon so takes credit for those two getting together; levi was late for his first date because asmo wouldnt let him leave until he approved of his outfit; lucifer is holed away in his office, demonous in hand, trying not to think about his brother going out with diavolo's butler

like. i am sure diavolo would support it and would be extremely happy for barbatos that he found someone that makes him happy. but lucifer? he is speaking through gritted teeth of how happy he is for levi. he is definitely fine about this decision because his brother is a grown demon and can make his own decisions but he will be processing his feelings with a bottle or two (or three) of demonous later that night

and just....Levi being so awkward on the first few dates?? i mean im sure he will always be awkward when he's around Barb but like?? poor thing is a mess lmao

idk man something something barb brings such a huge comforting feeling to levi and levi gives barb a breath of fresh air into his life and something something they give strength to each other to leave comfort zones and live for something that makes them happy

I know my Pokepasta mutuals been waiting for this one

@4rachnophilia

after losing a couple of battles the trainer gets frustrated and decided to go to sea and leave their gyarados behind in anger the Pokémon waits for the trainer to come back hours turns into days days turns into weeks turns into months and due to it’s hunger the Pokémon starts to go crazy until one day gyarados finds something floating in the water and without hesitation the Pokémon immediately devoured it not realizing it was a corpse in the water and at that moment the gyarados gets a craving for human flesh and goes on a killing spree to by dragging or grabbing its victims and eating them alive some people try hunting down the gyarados by killing it but some of them ends up getting eaten or losing a limb at that moment nobody can’t stop the Pokémon and it’s rampage 

i'm in the middle of doing something else right now + i don't normally make posts like this so this is going to be pretty poorly put together, but..

re:dmc1 novel, is gilver actually supposed to be vergil? i personally always assumed he was (+ and was therefore responsible for the resulting massacres etc.) until i last reread a few days ago:

for those unaware: the DMC1 novel mainly features demons that inhibit the corpses of dead humans. there are some instances of demons that don't possess any corpses which are described as "scythe-swinging shadows", but the main focus are the possessed corpses.

“Humanity was born a race of our slaves.” Gilver pressed harder on his weapon, and a thin stream of red blood rolled down Grue's neck. “Inhabiting the corpses taxes our strength and limits our numbers. But soon we will be able to migrate to this plane in our own prepared bodies.” (pg. 120)

The bandaged man [Gilver] radiated an aura of decay. (pg. 149)

however, dante does mention that gilver "doesn't smell like" the other demons. i left in the rest of the lines in mainly because i found gilver's characterization and dialogue here interesting:

“What are you, man? You don't smell like those other things.” “You don't need to know. In any case, I'm going to crush you.” Dante shrugged. “That's a fitting line for a villain.” “Your absurd labels are meaningless.” Gilver cackled behind his bandages. “The victor will be called the hero by future generations. Arguing about good and evil is pointless.” (pg. 172)

addt. gilver repeatedly separates himself from not only humans, but also dante:

“Do you have any questions, Dante? You have treacherous blood in you.” (pg. 172)

[...] Gilver finally pronounced. “You have our blood coursing through your veins. You're the mongrel half-breed offspring of a human and a demon. And you betrayed our side.” (pg. 173)

“This is your world,” he finally said. “Yes. The demon world is replacing yours. It will spread out from this nexus until finally everything is consumed.” Gilver hefted his sword, seemingly recovered from Dante's last attack. “This place is a cancerous blight to incomplete souls like you. [...] (pg. 180-181)

..... which is interesting, because throughout all of the novel dante has had trouble existing for any amount of time in the demon realm. whatever amount of devil blood in him doesn't help him and he struggles to stay awake and fight, even at the barrier between the two worlds. that said, gilver very obviously has access to some amount of demon power, mainly as shown through their battle in which he dons his.. demon armour lol

there are multiple other things that i didn't feel like touching upon right now, and the biggest issue is that... this is goikeda and kamiya's vision, not itsuno's. so it's possible that this IS actually vergil as the two wanted to write him, but considering this takes place just before DMC1.. it really could be possible that vergil's just been something considered dead, right?

... or maybe it is vergil and he just has blood on his hands and wanted dante to suffer, like i initially assumed. if anyone has any opinions or disagrees with me, please feel free to say as much :P i'd really like to analyze this book more and try to relate it to other DMC lore but it really is pretty difficult with how much has been retconned throughout the franchise. thanks for reading!

was thinking about robert shaw again today, and i wanted to do some archival digging to see if i could find some interviews he'd done in the past other than his appearances on the dick cavett show & the new england our way documentary (which honestly seem to be the only filmed interviews he's ever done).

i found over a dozen eighteen(!) articles, but there was one published in the guardian on july 16, 1971 that i found especially interesting! while he does talk about the usual things discussed in his interviews (his children, his work, his love of writing over acting) he does also speak (albeit briefly) about his being a socialist - which is really *not* what i would have expected robert shaw's political alignment to be ALKDGNSDKLGN it's so cool !! he was so cool.

it's a horrible, horrible scan though, & looks something like this:

so i've just gone ahead and transcribed everything to the best of my ability below. i've also made some slight changes to punctuation for the sake of readability. there were a lot of strange run-on sentences in the original article.

i'd happily share the link to the original document, but i found it via proquest and my university's name is directly attached to any generated permalinks :( issn is 02613077 and doc id is 185459069 though! interviewer/author of the article was terry philpott.

“Most people, you see, think that actors are stupid,” says Robert Shaw, stage, film, and television actor, playwright, and novelist (“The Sun Doctor” won the Hawthornden Prize). It is likely that most people think that there are two Robert Shaws. People who read novels think that there is a novelist called Robert Shaw, who has nothing to do with that dreadful actor who they occasionally see on television, or they think that he is the son of the son of George Bernard Shaw, and are too ignorant to know that he didn’t have a son. The popular image of Shaw shows him starring in films like “From Russia with Love,” “The Valiant,” “The Battle of the Bulge,” “Custer of the West,” and “The Battle of Britain.” He was a memorable Henry VIII to Paul Scofield’s More in “A Man for All Seasons,” [?] fewer people know him in the [?] adaptations of Pinter or as a stage actor. Shaw too is an intensely physical character, the man of the media who offers tips in drinking, the sportsman, the father of eight children, and the owner of four cats, who delights to drive at high speed. Even his novels, serious as they are, contain this intense physical aspect of their author. His priest in “The Flag” was a former miner, a man of great physical energies who harboured doubts about [?] and his faith. Halliday, the sun doctor, found his moral conflicts besetting him in the African jungle, and in between their philosophizing and perhaps [?], Slattery and Lewis in “A Card From Morocco” drink and rage. Yet in Shaw, the intellectual and physical seem in [?] compatibly at one moment, he is eagerly discussing sport; at the next, art; a discussion of politics with reference to Lord Liverpool’s ministries takes up as much time as a discussion on driving; he discloses his Socialist convictions with an angry gusto; makes what appears to be a thoughtful remark, but laughs suddenly and says that he was only joking. The challenge, egotism, sharpness of thought and quickness of word are not Shaw acting public Shaw, but the essence and reality. “I genuinely love to shock my readership into something,” says Shaw the writer, “But I am always thinking of how I can get their attention, of how I can shock them out of their smug, middle-class ways. I want to shock them out of their stupor, to shock them into awareness, to make them think. Everybody is shocking them sexually, but I am like the Jesuit priest, and I want to make the boy [thud?]” “There is so much sensationalism, now. How can you do that? I have got to get at them after they take my books off the library or book shop shelves. I know how Edna O’Brien does it, but the first pages of my novel aren’t those of the popular novels. I am a political pamphleteer.” Shaw believes very much in early formative [influences?], and perhaps his character can be explained by his upbringing. Born in Lancashire, he was eldest of the five children of a doctor, who committed suicide when his son was 11. “My mother was the total influence. She is an extremely strong woman, a puritan in the true sense of the word. We were thought of as a family of some social standing, the family to know in the village. While my mother used to tell me not to play with the ‘common children,’ from her I learnt also real humanity.”

Although his childhood was spent mainly in the Orkneys and Cornwall, the family lived near Bolton through some of the Depression, a period of lasting influence on his political leanings. His interests in writing and acting grew simultaneously at school. At 21, he joined the Royal Shakespeare Company at Stratford-upon-Avon for two years, following them with a year at the Old Vic. As late as 1960 he was still known mainly for his role in “The Buccaneers,” although his first novel, “The Hiding Place” had appeared in 1959, and the year before that he acted in his own play, “Off the Mainland,” at the Arts Theatre, London. He supplemented his income by journalism, writing feature articles for “Queen” and [chairing?] television’s [lone essay?] at a regular literary programme, “The Bookman.” There he introduced to the television public a young novelist named Edna O’Brien, whose first novel, “The Country Girls,” had just appeared. “I write, first, because I have a childish desire for immortality,” Shaw says, “I don’t know why it is, but I have noticed that other people have it, too, although in an essay Adler wrote that it was not a desire strong in women. Secondly, I am a political writer. I feel very radically about some things, but only in a certain kind of way, not in a square-on political party way. I would like to influence people to a hard and tough radicalism. That is why I admire Orwell so much and I admire him even at his worst. We are surrounded by second-rate, trashy writers who are taken up and praised. It isn’t that I think Harold Pinter is the greatest playwright of the century, but even at his worst he is an intelligent writer.” Acting offers few compensations. “Films are a business and seldom an art form. It is a director’s medium. For obvious reasons, there are no good screen writers, because anyone with any sense doesn’t want to be one. The only films that I have been in that have made money have been the bad ones, so you’ll see what I mean.” He is currently playing Lord Randolph Churchill in the making of “Young Winston,” the Richard Attenborough-Carl Foreman film adaptation of Churchill’s “My Early Life.” Here there are some satisfactions. “It is one of the last big budget pictures. I have the best part, with the possible exception of Anne Bancroft as Lady Jennie Churchill. Hardly anyone knows anything about Randolph, so I’ll have to be bad not to be able to do something with the part. While he wasn’t the equal of his son, he was a very remarkable man. It is pleasant to be playing an intelligent man for a change. I have also got my best wardrobe since Henry VIII, so that is my vanity satisfied. Few are working in the industry at the moment, so even to be working is some feat.” Filming can occasionally offer deeper rewards. “There are some occasions when you are working with someone really good, like Joe Losey, and filming can become art and takes on something special. It is a sort of religious moment when you feel that you are really communicating something. It is probably an illusion, but you can also feel it when you write. It has only happened to me rarely with acting.”

He and his wife Mary Ure may go to Broadway in Pinter’s “Old Times,” but even stage acting Shaw finds of dubious interest. “There is an English mystique about the theatre, thus stage actors are knighted and film actors are not. I get bored by any stage play in about four weeks, but you also have an audience to respond to you. The great difference is that in the theatre you can dominate the audience, whereas in the cinema you can woo them.” For these and other reasons he would not leave acting. “I would like to say that. I was going to stop acting completely, but I can’t. Apart from the other reasons, there is, first, this childlike side in me that loves acting, and although I curse it at times, I think that acting is under-rated. It is certainly better than many professions; being a politician, for instance. Secondly, I can’t afford to be just a writer. I could afford it if I were prepared to live in a poorer manner, but now I am used to living in a certain way. Anyway, I rarely go out or buy clothes or spend much on myself, but I have a lot of dependents.” Acting, too, allows him to subsidise his writing: the National Theatre have just paid him £100 for his new play, “Cato Street,” which he worked on for two years, and he has another novel, “Flesh and Blood,” planned for publication next year. He is working at the moment on the second volume of “The Cure of Souls,” his trilogy, the first of which was “The Flag.” It will be set during the Spanish Civil War, a period and event of enduring fascination for him. But he does not see the trilogy as the work for which he might be remembered. “I keep getting little ideas which are more relevant, contemporary, and will be in the end more important. Conrad kept breaking off his larger works like ‘Lord Jim’ to write other works like ‘The Heart of Darkness.’ I am trying to achieve that kind of book.” Shaw enjoys his wealth. “It gives me power, but more than that, if you are proud and poor in modern society, it isn’t very pleasant. I was always willing to be sacked by a director. I can afford to be now, but I believe that every actor, whatever his material position, should be willing to be, too. Money also offers me freedom and space.” It is providing him with a large house in Ireland where he will indulge again his desire for immortality by creating a great garden. Shaw admits to some incongruity in a Socialist enjoying the comforts of the Savoy and talking about his wealth. He says it is a dilemma that has confronted him for some time, but he has reconciled himself to it in the knowledge that he is an autocrat, and does not know a talented person who is not. “Here I am living like a capitalist, and yet I believe that if there were a real chance of equality[,?] of opportunity, of real socialism, then I would give up all the money. It would all go. Definitely, definitely, definitely. That I really feel.”

as much as it's fun being in the fandom and i love having our community i notice sometimes that i just don't vibe with the general opinions of the fandom about plots or characters or the cast and that hearing everyone's opinions or predictions and the 'drama' is too much and overwhelming and i actually don't wanna hear any of it and i realize it tends to annoy and upset me and then you know you need to take a step back from it.

i will definitely try and stay offline when s3 drops in a week and will blacklist tags and probably unfollow some blogs for a while bc i don't want to be exposed to too much content and experience it on my own first and form my own opinions before i dive in on it online. and i don't want to think too much about what the fandom's expectations and wishes are and hear about other's disappointments or gratification or whatever and remove all of that from my brain. my goal is to just enjoy watching season 3 with no pressure and have a good time no matter the outcome of my own wishes and expectations and it can be good even if not all of mine come true bc it doesn't and shouldn’t mean everything

one day i will stop being afraid of getting hounded for writing something that is less pretty and more just. raw.

'im doing great!!!' <- had to read through old messages from their [????] to remind themselves that was a legitimate thing that happened and not just a delusion

I find it amusing that when Kirk speaks about his young years to McCoy he’s like “I was absolutely grim, Bones”, but when he talks with Spock he’s like “I was brash”

obviously there were like three years between those periods of his youth, but I find it amusing nevertheless

I just wanna let you guys know...

Counting today, there are only 4 days left of me being online, before I basically have to vanish for 2 whole months (and then idk how much of the 3rd month I'll be gone, but a portion of that month too...)

I wanna spend it as well as I can, but I also don't really know what I'll do, nor am I sure I'll have the time to really do anything, as I still gotta prepare a bunch to go before I do go...

So yeah if I end up going quiet before I go then I'm sorry, but I really hope I at least talk a bit more before suddenly vanishing!!!

...I also at least wanna list some of the tags I have on my blog(s) that may interest yall while I'm gone... ...though I doubt it'll interest yall for 2 whole months + a unknown portion of a 3rd month)

But yeah if I end up not getting the chance to say bye, just know I'll miss u guys, and I care about yall & love u all!! (platonically, of course XD)