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#honestly it is 5am and i should go to sleep

nerdpoe · 9 months

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Freak of the week

Danny, in his human form, can take one hell of a punch.

Online he's a well known stuntman, doing absolutely batshit insane stunts that would 100% kill anyone else. He makes a point of flaunting the lack of a meta gene in his genetic tests he took for his audience, and is generally known to be juuuuuust slightly unhinged.

So he's in Metropolis, getting ready to do a stupidly dangerous stunt, when a mind-controlled Superman lands in front of him.

In front of a live stream.

So he can't go Ghost like he wants.

Instead, he turns to the camera and grins, all teeth and feral.

"Who wants to watch me eat a punch from Superman and live?"

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #ficlet #honestly it is 5am and i should go to sleep #but i revisited the Freak of the Week music video from Freak Kitchen #and this cropped up #death mention #injury mention

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ranhaitanisgf · 4 months

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AAA CONGRATS ON GETTING 2K FOLLOWERS!! 😭🥰 and thank you for the event! it looks fun :0 can i request rindou haitani + enemies/rivals to lovers + stuck together or 7 mins in heaven please? i cant choose between the moments so i’ll leave that one up to you if that’s okay :0 headcanons please! i don’t have anything specific that i wanna add for this request, so i hope this gives you more wiggle room to write how you want it to go ☺️ thank you and congrats again!! ❤️

—rindou haitani // enemies to lovers // stuck together

☆ ˎˊ˗ little rindou moment . i do not have much to add on to this, so enjoy !! xoxo

☆ ˎˊ˗ wc ; 1.0k+

☆ ˎˊ˗ gn!reader

masterlist || 2k masterlist

“just so you know, this is entirely your fault.”

“my fault?! how the hell is an elevator shutting down, my fault?! do you think i spoke to god for a second and said, ‘hey, can you make this elevator stop working right now?’” you argued, sarcasm thick in your voice as you spoke. rindou shrugged nonchalantly, a look of boredom in his eyes.

“who knows? maybe you’re one of those kinds of people.”

“i am not, for your information! if anything, this is your fault! if you can recall with your idiotically small brain, you’ll remember that you’re the one who asked for a favor! from me! on a weekend! i should be financially compensated for this!” you exclaimed, pointing a finger in accusation at the boy sitting next to you. “i should still be sleeping right now!! it’s 5 in the damn morning! what was this favor you needed, anyways?!”

“jeez, you’re so loud.” was all rindou responded with, making you even more frustrated with him. you decided not to respond though, just letting out an angry sigh as the two of you waited for the maintenance people to get you out of the elevator.

the silence hanging over the two of you in the elevator wasn’t tense, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable either. honestly though, you didn’t really care about whatever rindou wanted, you were just pissed that he was somehow trying to pin this situation on you.

what have you ever done to him?! literally nothing. you even had the decency to come all the way over to roppongi at 5am to see what he needed help with, even though he always acts like you’re just an annoying thorn in his side. you get that he’s emotionally stunted, but seriously, what was up with him?

a knock from outside the elevator door brought you out of your thoughts, instead bringing hope that you would finally be out of this elevator soon.

“hello! we are the maintenance crew for this building, and we will get you out shortly! sorry for the inconvenience!”

“don’t worry about it; thank you!” you called back, relieved. you stood up from your spot on the floor, stretching a bit since you had been sitting for a while. “ugh, thank god! i’m so hungry, i could eat a three-course meal right or somethin’...” rindou continued sitting on the floor, the same stoic expression on his face as the two of you waited for the elevator to open up. he was a bit more quiet than usual, but you wrote it off as him also being tired, (who wouldn’t be tired at this early time?).

“oh yeah, but seriously, what’s the favor you need? if it’s gonna take long, i wanna get breakfast first.” you asked, a bit more curious as to what favor he was going to be asking of you.

“you’ll see when we get there.”

“man, stingy…you can’t even tell me how long it’s gonna take?”

“no.” you frowned at his answer but decided to let it go for now.

after a few minutes, you sat back down, wondering how long it was going to take to open the elevator. you wanted to ask the people outside, but you didn’t want them to feel like you were rushing them, so you just sat and waited, feeling a bit awkward with rindou.

looking at him from the side, you couldn’t deny that he was beautiful. he would probably kill you if he ever heard you say that about him, but in your mind, it was true. it was the first word that came to mind whenever you saw him, no matter how much of an ass he was being in the moment. his tanned skin suited him well, providing a contrast from his blonde and baby blue hair, which always seemed to frame his face damn near perfectly. how was that even possible? there hadn’t ever been a time when you’d seen him look bad, which sometimes made you wonder if he was from another world.

“you done?” rindou asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“hm? what?”

“you’re staring at me; it’s creepy.” you scoffed at his words, immediately remembering his personality.

“yeah, my mistake. you would be prettier if you weren’t such an ass, y’know.” you cringed a moment after you spoke, realizing that your words probably just gave him a major ego boost.

however, when your gaze cautiously found him again, all you could see was his flushed cheeks and that he was looking away.

huh? no way…

you reached your hand out, poking his cheek.

“hey, what’s wrong? look over here.” he continued ignoring you, which made you just want to mess with him even more. “hey. hey. yoohoo.” with each word, you poked his cheek, finding amusement in the growing annoyance in rindou’s face.

when you went to poke him again, his arm suddenly shot up, hand grabbing your wrist right before your finger was going to poke his cheek.

“stop.”

“hmm…?” you could hear the threatening tone of his voice, but all you could see were his red ears. “if i didn’t know any better, i would almost say that you’re maybe…oh, i don’t know, embarrassed? flustered?” at your words, he let go of your wrist instantly.

“whatever…” rindou muttered, turning his head even farther away from you.

you paused for a moment, wondering if you’d gone too far with the teasing. there was no way, right? ran definitely poked and prodded at his younger brother more than you did, so why was he acting like this?

well, you suppose that you can make it your problem.

you leaned your head to the side, resting it on his shoulder as you let out a sigh. you held back a smile as you felt rindou suddenly tense up, his head finally turning back towards your direction, (you found it impressive that he had managed to sulk for as long as he did).

“you’re so emotionally stunted.”

“shut the hell up.”

(the ‘favor’ was having breakfast on the rooftop, but you didn’t end up getting out of the elevator until noon).

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uravitypng · 2 years

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𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏

kinktober day six: somno

pairing: toge inumaki x chubby reader

word count: 900+

a/n: yikes this is so late, lets ignore how many days i am behind on kinktober. i edited this at 5am before i fell asleep so there is probably some mistakes. this is after everyone leaves jujutsu high. ‧₊˚✩‧₊˚♡‧₊˚

warnings: somnophilia, mutual pining, noncon(maybe dubcon?), toge uses curse speech, she's a jujutsu sorcerer so she catches on quick, allusions of chubby reader(who has bigger breasts) (this is the first time my chubby reader has mentioned bigger breasts, i know not everyone who is chubby has bigger breasts, it is mentioned only once though), groping +18 mdni

Toge is in love with you, he just can't seem to tell you to and it's not to do with cursed speech. You're just so beautiful, so kind. Sometimes you make it hard for him not to think about grabbing you and fucking you against the wall whenever you hang out together.

Toge, you and everyone else from jujutsu high are having a movie night at Nobara and Maki's flat. Everyone's left him with you in the room as they've all gone to sleep for the night, crashing in one of the bedrooms. He doesn't want this to end and it seems like you have no intention of leaving. He's having such a good night and you seem so happy. He talks before he can think, "sleep." He catches you and puts you down. He has no idea why he did that, he never thought he would do that. He knows how dangerous his cursed speech is but he did it anyway. Toge has to wake you up but he knows you're going to have questions and honestly so does he, it was very impulsive, he frowns at his actions. You're lying there, looking so peaceful and calm, you're so beautiful. He brushes your hair out your face and smiles, you look so soft. Toge kisses your cheek and looks at you fondly. You look so vulnerable right now, he has to keep you safe.

Before he even knows what he's doing, he's got his hand under your shirt, you're so soft and warm. He doesn't have to do anything extreme before he wakes you up, he just wants to feel you, you won't even know and you're so plush. He runs his arms up your rib cage and shivers at how delicate you are. He touches you over bralette, if he can't see you under your clothes then it isn't too bad. He nearly groans as he reaches your breasts, he grabs hold of one your breasts. He has to bite his lip to stop any noise coming out as he can't fit you all in his hand. He keeps touching you gingerly. He needs to stop, you deserve more respect than this. But he can't. Not yet at least.

Toge's hand goes down to your ass, trying to commit your body to memory while he can. He becomes more and more hard, rutting against the carpet, trying to get any friction he can. He knows he shouldn't but at this point he can't stop himself and he gently bites your soft belly and rolls. He's trying his hardest not to leave marks but he can't stop, you look so pretty and it's so hard not to sink his teeth into you. Finally Toge stops and takes his hands off you.

He holds you in position, "wake up." You're none the wiser as you wake up. That is until you look at the clock on the wall. Somehow it's 45 minutes later, maybe you lost track of time but you highly doubt it, even if you weren't looking you would see it in the corner of your eye.

"Toge did something happen? I know it strange but I just have a hunch, I definitely lost track of over 30 minutes." You see his eyes lightly go wide momentarily then shake his head. Something he forgot about was about the time, something even more important he forgot about was he forgot to correct your clothes properly, your breasts weren't in your bra. You noticed. Maybe you had a wardrobe malfunction, it's happened before but you look at Toge and you feel like its something more than that. His face screams guilty. "Toge did you do something to me?"

You know the answer all ready. You should feel disgusted, you should feel betrayed... but... you don't. He wanted you so bad he used his cursed speech on you, you know that's wrong. Because it's him, it doesn't feel wrong, maybe you should be angry but you're not, you are turned on though. You have no idea what he exactly did to you but you want him to do it to you again, awake or not, as long as its him. "I know what you did Toge." He starts freaking out, you're going to hate him, he's a pervert, he's wrong, but he's confused when you just smile. "I'm, I'm not angry" you stutter suddenly a bit nervous.

You never thought he would feel this way about you, especially enough for you to use his cursed speech on you. He likes you. You like him, I mean how could you not. He's kind and brave and funny and you've never seen anyone more attractive. "Toge you could of just asked me out ya know?" he looks shocked and if you're honest so are you. This is not the way you wanted to go about confessing your feelings to him, especially since Toge used cursed speech on you. He blushes and still looks guilty, mortified about the whole situation.

"Um, please don't feel guilty. I liked it... actually you know you can do that whenever you want... without cursed speech or not." before you think to much you pull him into you and kiss him. Hopefully he'll ask you on a date, hopefully you can do that again.

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drpoisonoaky · 4 months

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Training routine

Azula is... a person made by routine. She starts training every day at 5am.

But one day she said said “None of you, menaces to society, can do it too” so they try to prove her wrong.

Azula: Oh you made it. Sokka: Of course. Azula: But you look like shit.

Sokka: Well, I didn't sleep, so I can be awake right now. Azula: You didn’t sleep? How do you pretend to follow my training session? Sokka: To be honest, I didn’t think I’d made it this far and I’m too tired to even care anymore.

Suki: Ok smart-ass let 's begin. Azula: You look awake. Suki: I am. You’re not the only one who usually does this. Azula: I know it’s not a Kyoshi warrior thing because I know Ty Lee. Suki: It’s my thing. Believe or not I’m more than a “fan girl”. Azula: And she has humor too. Suki: So? Azula: Honestly, you were the only one in that group that I knew was capable of doing my training. So if you want to go and do your thing, it wouldn't change my mind or what I'm going to say to them. Suki: I’m here for your training. We will do that. Azula: Hmn. Suki: What are you waiting for? Azula: Fine pretty girl. Let’s start meditating.

Toph: I know you’re nuts but this is madness. Why do you have to start to do this so early?! Azula: Good morning to you too. When do you want me to do it? Toph: I don’t know, in the afternoon or after breakfast. Azula: After breakfast, I have to read the scrolls for the meetings that will take place that day. I have two hours to do this, and if I don't need all that time, I do paperwork. Azula: Then the meetings start. Usually everything for the day is set before lunch. Toph: Have lunch later and train there. Azula: After lunch I have to appear in several places in Caldera. You know, publicly blah, blah, blah. Toph: When you finish, you can train there and you can use it to relax. Azula: After that I have to have dinner. Toph: I’m pretty sure you can have dinner later. Azula: Dinner is with Katara. We hardly see each other during the day. Toph: So train after dinner. Azula: No. Toph: Why? Azula: Because that time is usually reserved for Katara and is non-negotiable. Toph: Her words or yours? Azula: Your poi- Don’t you dare to do a whip sound. Toph: Sure, domesticated prissy princess. Azula: Enough of this small talk. We have lost so much time already. Toph: And we don’t want to reduce your Katara time. Azula: Horse stance NOW.

Ty lee: Good Morning. Azula: At least open your eyes first. Ty lee: I train like this. Azula: You train in your pyjamas? Ty lee: Azula: Go to sleep. Ty lee: Azula: You tried and you are not a menace. Well, you never were, because you weren't included in that statement. Why are you here? Ty Lee: I'm too tired to shout at you, but in 3-4 hours, be prepared.

(Mai didn’t try it or even talk about it)

Aang: Good morning Azula! Azula: Oh, you look fresh? Aang: Is that a surprise? Azula: Yes. Let’s train. Aang: Sure, but it wouldn't kill you to say good morning too.

…

Azula: We'll see how Zuzu does, but by far you and Suki deserve a bit more respect from me. Aang: Thank you! That's nice, I guess. So if Zuko does well, you would give him more credit? Azula: Of course not.

Zuko: Of all of the things you have done to me, this is the most evil. Azula: Aren’t you a morning person? Zuko: Yes but when it’s morning. THE SUN IS NOT EVEN THERE. Azula: Don't worry, Zuzu, the sun will be there when we're done.

…

Azula: Zuzu, can you please stop throwing up, I want to have a bath and then breakfast. Zuko: I hate you. Azula: Don’t worry, you aren’t the only menace, you should have seen Sokka. Zuko: Aang? Azula: Nah, he did it well. Zuko: Suki? Azula: Don’t do this to yourself Zuko.

Katara, still half asleep in bed: Who’s turn is today? Azual, already up and ready: Yours. Katara: Oh okay let me just…*takes all the bed for herself* Katara: Have a good time. Azula: Don’t you want to prove that you are not a menace to society? Katara, almost asleep: I’m dating you. Azula: See you point. *kisses her forehead* Sleep well, see you for breakfast. Katara: *snorts*

#avatar the last airbender #atla #azula #katara #azutara #kazula #fire siblings #suki #sokka #aang #toph #mai #zuko #redeemed azula #idk if we could count this as a little bit of suki/azula #maybe

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blue-jisungs · 2 years

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you wear their clothes ♡

┆彡 YEONJUN [ 연준 ]

once you decided to drop by their dorm and leave some food but in the middle of that your hoodie got stained

so you stole one of your boyfriend’s and honestly forgot about it, while he thought he lost it :(

but one day when yeonjun was waiting for you to change so you two can go for a walk, you wore it and didn’t think much about it

his brows furrowed when he saw it… like… "wait a minute… is that MY hoodie?"

dramatic. pouts. crosses his arms. turns his head.

but just you try taking it off… he’ll get ever MORE poutier >:(

holds the rims of the hoodie and pulls it down so you can’t take it off and pulls the hood over your head

"cute" he mumbles as he holds your chin gently and leans closer to place a tender kiss on your lips

literally can’t stop smiling whenever he sees you wearing his clothes, it makes him feel proud (aaand a tiiiny biiit possessive) + hello, you look adorable?!

sometimes he gives you his hoodies "just because"… well, so he can adore you in them<3

┆彡 SOOBIN [ 수빈 ]

it was a rough night for you two

odi was acting strange in the middle of the night so while soobin watched him, you searched for the vet clinic that was open at night

after driving to one, getting odi checked (and finding out that he was alright), getting back - it was nearly 5am and you just wanted to sleep

so you quickly changed and threw a random shirt on yourself. then you plopped onto the bed (and soobin) and quickly fell asleep

in the morning, you went to brush your teeth. the tiredness was still showing after you almost brushed your teeth with his toothbrush and couldn’t manage to open the toothpaste, cursing underneath your breath

soobin woke up and entered the bathroom, rubbing his eyes

he looked at you, washing your teeth with your eyes closed and… his t-shirt.

boom. that was the sound of his heart exploding from the cuteness that overwhelmed him.

he was too busy staring at you, looking beyond adorable in his oversized t-shirt to notice that his cheeks were painted pink

"what?" you asked

shy, shy, shy baby <3

refuses to tell you but sooner or later you discover that wearing his t-shirts leaves him flustered

i mean come on, he’s so tall you’re literally drowning in his clothes… and he loves it, a bit too much

┆彡 BEOMGYU [ 범규 ]

baking with gyu is… chaotic, to say at least

he’s a bit clumsy, energetic and teases you a lot

so when you are covered in flour, egg yolk and icing at the end of the day, you’re not even surprised

unfortunately though you didn’t take any clothes just in case something like this happens

"uh… gyu, can i borrow some sweatpants? this isn’t coming off…" you sighed, pointing at the stains

he flew rushed to his bedroom to pick the best cleanest pieces of clothing he had and gave it to you with a boyish grin on his face

once you changed, his mouth fell ajar.

he’s whipped and he’s not even hiding it!!!!

absolutely in love.

(even though it looks like you’re drowning in the clothes and you’re tripping because of the pants being too long for your legs smh)

since then sneaks his clothes over to your place so you can have them… in case you miss him or something…

i mean, hey! they are comfortable! and smell like him…

┆彡 TAEHYUN [ 태현 ]

when taehyun texted you to bring his hoodie to the practice because he forgot, you didn’t think much about it and put it on

because why should you hold it, literally… smh🙄🙄

so you entered their practice room in the middle of their dance routine

and as soon as taehyun saw you, he tripped

he literally fell for you<3

they started laughing but you came up to him, worried expression painted on your face as his cheeks reddened

not only he tripped but also you looked so adorable in his hoodie that he had to take a moment to gather his thoughts

"you alright?" you asked, squatting next to him

he just nodded and looked at you with the biggest smile ever

"i brought your hoodie! i hope you don’t mind i wore it though…" you said and reached to take it off but he stopped you, shaking his head

"you can keep it for now" he just mumbled and placed a quick kiss on your forehead before standing up

he kept his eyes on you for the whole practice

and even after it he was way more clingier than usual!!

to sum up: recipe for clingy taehyun? you wearing his clothes <3

┆彡 HUENING KAI [ 휴닝카이 ]

of course it was a chilly night

and of course you didn’t listen to kai who said that you should bring your coat

but for your defence … it looked like it was warm outside…

but you left the house without bringing your coat with you and enjoyed the date with kai

on your way home it got chilly and you started to shiver, trying your best to hide it

but hyuka saw it and wasted no time in putting his coat on you

when you just blushed and mumbled a quick thank you, looking beyond adorable in his coat that was too long for you…

his heart was pounding against his chest with so much force that the poor boy thought it was gonna jump out and tum away!!

loves how you look in it + the clothes smell like you when you give them back

please just wear his clothes, he’ll melt on spot <3

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist: @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @lhsng

#txt kai #txt soobin #txt soft hours #txt beomgyu #txt headcanons #txt #txt fluff #txt yeonjun #txt taehyun #txt x y/n #txt drabbles #tomorrow x together

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atzfilm · 2 years

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clair de lune. (m) - part two

genre; yandere, vampire!au, reincarnation! au angst, smut

pairing; ot8/f.reader (yeosang/san/hongjoong focused this chapter)

word count: 15.8k

summary; you’ve finally gotten the chance to enter “clair de lune”, a infamous night club to see the band hiraeth. but why did you feel like their eyes only watched you?

note: this first deals with the subject of yandere. with that being said, a lot of the things happening in this fiction will be manipulation, gaslighting, and various other techniques displayed by the characters. if you are not comfortable with that, please do not read. warnings under cut

part one | part three

warnings; manipulation, explicit scenes, murder, blood (bloodplay, drinking blood), death mentions, cussing, gaslighting, age gap, injuries, dark subjects, emotional manipulation, lying

part two:

The days dragged on a bit. You didn’t see the others as often, most of them out for the day enjoying their hobbies. They explained that you should take time off work but you had no vacation time, so you still took the bus every day. Not that you wanted to take the days off of work of course, it’s the only thing that you look forward to. Wooyoung was the first to suggest that you take their car instead but you objected to it. Truly being dependent on them was not something you wanted; being involved as little as possible was the only way to go. No attachments, no heartaches when you leave at the end of the month’s stay. Unfortunately, explaining that to them didn’t board over so well. In fact, you’re sure it made it worse for you. A lot of them would mention it from time to time, trying their best to convince you. But you always pushed the thought away.

Encounters with Hongjoong happened less frequently after that moment. It wasn’t his prerogative; he often sat in the kitchen for hours out of the day, waiting for the chance to speak to you. But each morning you never came, situated in your room until he finally gave up. San was often next to him, so you avoided him as well. A part of you felt a bit bad, but Hongjoong’s the one that caused this. Dwelling in his misery wasn’t enough for him, so he spread it. It’s not necessarily all of his fault; the others had influence in it as well. But you can’t get that scene out of your head, that feeling that spreads through your body. The person you once were felt completely and utterly hollow inside when it happened to her. Dying and living all at once.

You staying in this house is a risk in itself. You hate having to navigate around everyone, forcing hellos and goodbyes when you leave for work. And knowing that Hongjoong waited for you day in and out, you left early. Your shifts started at 8am, so you made sure to leave by 6.

“You look exhausted,” Your coworker notes, passing you the scanner. You thank him, tucking it beneath your arm as you push the cart of books. It’s been only a few days of this routine and you’re already a bit over it. Luckily, you haven’t see Hongjoong once. So who cares about sleep?

“Not something a girl likes to hear, Seungwoo,” you say, frowning at him. “I’ve been waking up at 5am to get here on time.”

“Wow, did the bus schedules change that much?” he whistles. A few customers give him a look, and he bows slightly, apologetic. “Seriously though, I can pick you up from your apartment if you want. It’s only a five minute drive from my place.”

You shake your head at the offer. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Good because you’re not asking, I’m offering,” He takes the book from the cart as you scan them one by one, placing it neatly on the taller shelves. “You don’t have to exhaust yourself like this, you know. Take the offer while it’s still here.”

Honestly it is tempting. But he’s one of your only friends and you haven’t exactly told him about the circumstances you’re currently under. How could you explain that you’re living in a home filled with strangers that just so happen to sustain themselves off of blood. Not a great conversation to have. So you only shake your head, handing another book to him.

“Thank you for offering, I can manage for a while.”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Your loss. I’m an amazing driver. And I happen to be a very good singer. It’ll brighten up your mornings.” He sings a low note into your ear. You laugh, pushing him away from you. “Finally smiling. That took everything I had out of me.”

“Har har,” you roll your eyes.

The day passes by quickly with Seungwoo tailing you the majority of the time. You don’t mind it, his presence is comforting and a relief from the tense atmosphere at the house. Soon, the day is closing. You walk into the locker-room, throw your apron inside and gather your things. Since Seungwoo is one of the supervisors, he stays an hour or so longer than you. You’ve already said your goodbyes, tucking your bag underneath your arm and leaving the store.

The sun is low in the sky, but you still have an hour or so left in the day to take your time before it’s dark. You sit on the bus bench, humming to yourself as you go through notifications. An unknown number sits in your recent messages. The message is a bit odd, your finger hovering over it.

Unknown: there’s only so much time you have left

You block the number, deleting it without a second thought. It’s probably one of those chain messages, telling you to send it to fifty other people or else you’ll die. You snort, continuing to look through your phone. A thump next you pulls you out of it. Seungwoo sits next to you, a wide grin on his face. You furrow your brows, glancing at the time.

“It’s only a bit after five. How the Hell did you get off early?”

“Boss man let me off. He had to stay longer today, so he’s just going to wait for the next shift. And that means,” he drums his hands on the bench – “We can go out!”

“Seungwoo…” you frown. He knows that you dislike outings right after work. The exhaustion from the days hits you. Even now your eyes are heavy. But the thought of finally spending time with someone other than eight strangers allures you. “What kind of outing are we talking?��

He shrugs, “Anywhere. You barely go out unless it’s to the bookstore, home or the market. When’s the last time you’ve actually walked through a park? Or ate at a restaurant?”

You think back, knowing that before the club incident you haven’t ventured anywhere for at least a few months. Life’s been getting ahead of you. “I was going to make some ramyeon for dinner, but we can go anywhere you’d like.”

“Perfect.”

You stand in front of the entrance to the bar, the glowing neon lights only making you frown. You’re not sure why you thought Seungwoo was going to bring you to a café or a cute restaurant. But he’s giddy next to you. Rocking on his heels, hands tucked in his jeans. He wiggles his brows, and you only shake your head.

“Absolutely not.”

“Come on,” he insists. “They have good food. You don’t have to drink anything you don’t want. No one in there is going to pressure you. Trust me.”

“I do trust you,” you murmur, staring up at the sign still. He knows you well enough to know it isn’t your vibe, isn’t somewhere you’d go to relax. But the excitement on his face wears down your resolve. A few hours can’t hurt, right?

But a thought lingers in the back of your head. Should you tell the guys about this? They’re technically watching over you for a while. Keeping you safe from the strangely obsessed group of vampires. You furrow your brows. They don’t even care about you. They care about this made-up version of you, this woman they once loved. A few hours is going to hurt them, you’ve lived all your life without their presence. And besides, you don’t even remember taking down their phone numbers, so you can’t call them even if you wanted to.

“An hour,” you say, and he almost jumps with glee, holding the door open for you. You enter. The bar is pretty full, but there’s enough empty space for it not to be overwhelming. You sit at a table with the guidance of the waiter, Seungwoo sliding into the bench in front of you with ease. You take in the atmosphere. The crowd of young people doesn’t surprise you in the slightest, a lot of salary men with their ties loose around their necks as they joke loudly. The music is an interesting choice, a blend of jazz genres. You glance at the menu, humming in appreciation at the expansive choices.

The waiter comes over promptly and you both order. You take his menu from him, your hands brushing against one another. His fingers are cold to the touch, a shiver escaping you.

“Damn, you’re freezing,” You pull your hand back, laughing. “Were you under the air conditioner this whole time?”

He laughs with you, rubbing his hand against his thigh. “Probably. The air conditioner is no joke.”

You shake your head, leaning back into your seat. “Tomorrow is going to be the worst. He probably left a shit ton of work for us to go through in the morning. Not looking forward to it.” Your bed is calling your name as you speak. “He never does anything while he’s there alone.”

“But we work together, so we can just take our sweet time,” Seungwoo notes, taking a sip of his water.

“You don’t have to not drink just because of me. I can always take a taxi,” you note, glancing at your cup of ice water. “I don’t want to kill your vibe.”

He waves you off easily, shaking his head. “You’d never do that yn, don’t worry,” he takes another sip of his water. “Besides, I was never really an alcohol lover. A shot here and there, but I’ve grown out of that. Getting too old to drink every night.”

You roll your eyes, “You’re barely older than me. Don’t age yourself.” Your phone rings, and you excuse yourself, looking at the caller ID. It’s unknown, but you pick it up in case it’s important. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

You furrow your brows. “Jongho? Since when have you had my phone number?”

“Doesn’t matter. You didn’t tell us you were going anywhere after work.”

You scoff, the urge to hang up tempting. “Yea well my plan changed. Not a big deal, I’ll be there in a few hours. I’m spending a bit of time with my coworker, no big deal.”

“Coworker? You said you didn’t really have friends, yn. Is it the same woman you came to the club with before?”

“Are you being serious right now?” You rub your face, head in your hands. “I don’t know what you think this is, but I’m not obligated to tell you my every move. I’m fine, Seungwoo’s a grown man.” You look at Seungwoo. He stares at you, an odd expression on his face. What’s up with him?

“Seungwoo? You said his name is Seungwoo? Are you messing with me?”

“What?” You’re now deeply confused. “What’s going on with you-”

The waiter comes back, placing your food on the table. You thank him, nodding as he walks back into the kitchen. Seungwoo takes his, slowly eating his burger.

“Look, I don’t get what’s happening but I’ll be at the house soon, alright? Don’t wait up for me, I know you have a show tonight.”

“Listen to me, yn. Walk out of that bar right now. Don’t say a word, don’t look at him. Whatever he tries to tell you to get you to stay, don’t.”

You’re stunned. “I’m going to call you back.”

“yn–”

You end the call, appetite gone. You watch as Seungwoo takes another bite of his burger. It’s barely cooked, almost raw as he eats it. Your stomach churns, looking away from the color painting his fingers.

“Those fucks just don’t know how to stop involving themselves, do they?” Seungwoo says, slamming the burger against his plate. He wipes his hands on a napkin, shaking his head slowly. “Every single time. Every chance they get they always mess shit up. Don’t even give us a chance, for goodness sakes.”

You slowly slide out of your booth, the friendly atmosphere between the both of you dwindling away. He places his hand on top of yours, preventing you from standing. You tug on it, but his fingers dig. The wooden table cracks as he traps your hand, tsking.

“I’m sorry rose, we can’t just let you walk out of here. Especially not to them.”

Your heartbeat quickens. It’s not possible. You’ve worked with him for years before you’ve even met Hongjoong and the others. There’s no way that he’s involved somehow, no way that he knows them. Your gaze looks at his hand, unmoving on top of yours. Your mind is running miles a minute, desperate to figure out what’s going on. Jongho sounded concerned when you mentioned his name. And they’re only like that when it involves one person.

You look around the bar, everyone else ignoring what’s going on with you. It’s surprising, the wood crack sound was well above what’s playing on the speakers right now. This bar… it’s a front. A chill slowly rolls through you.

“What do you want from me?” you ask softly. It’s eerie how easily your confidence could drop. You try to look furious, look annoyed. But all you can feel is fear, hand trembling underneath his binding. “What is this?”

“I was supposed to distract you, yn. Give Subin enough time to come and formally introduce himself to you. To tell you what’s going on, to save you from them.”

“From them? They haven’t done anything to me!”

“Not in this lifetime, not yet.”

“You fucking–” Fury runs through you. “All of you! Stop comparing me to this pirate woman! I’m a human, I’m yn. I’m not her, so I don’t give a shit what she did or didn’t do to you. Mourn her, hate her, do whatever you need to do to get over her. But leave me out of it.”

He sighs, shaking his head. “Ah, if only we could. You’re the center of it, rose. We can’t just leave you out of it when you’re the cause.”

“The cause? What cause? You know what,” you shake your head. “I could care less. And stop calling me rose.”

“Let her go, Seungwoo.”

Your turn to the voice just as Seungwoo lifts his hand, letting you free. You waste no time in standing, gaze moving to the man who just entered. He’s wearing the same thing from the market, hat tucked on his head, mask covering most of his face. He dips his head to you slightly, lifting his hat. He looks normal, running his fingers through his hair as he sighs. He keeps his mask on, brown eyes resting on yours.

“Pleasure to finally meet you, yn. Unfortunate that we couldn’t meet in better circumstances. Can’t really see you when you’re in their home, you know,” he takes off his mask, tucking it in his jacket pocket. It’s odd; in comparison to Hongjoong, his aura seems off. Like there’s something he’s hiding, something terrifying. You notice how the music has ceased, the laughing and conversations gone. You told Hongjoong that he created fear, and that you don’t doubt. But the looks on everyone's faces, the deep bows as he walks to your table.

It’s unlike any fear you’ve ever seen.

He gestures for you to sit back down, hands folded. Your rebellious streak encourages you to tell him to fuck off and run in the opposite direction. But the odds are not in your favor, so you slowly sit back in the same spot, hands tucked between your thighs. He hasn’t blinked once, a slight smile on his face as he settles. Seungwoo has disappeared in the meantime, leaving the two of you alone at the booth.

“I know you hate the name rose, so I won’t call you that,” he says simply. “Do the others know that you’re here?” You don’t say a word. He doesn’t seem to mind that, continuing. “Why did you stop keeping my charm with you?”

“You were tracking me.”

“I was keeping you safe, yn. All it does is tell me where you are. Thus, me keeping a close eye on you keeps them away from you.”

“You lied about it,” you start, shaking your head. “Yunho touched me as I held the charm. They barely stood a foot away from me and it did nothing. Nothing at all.”

He laughs, shaking his head, “It is not magic. It was just for me to protect you. You just needed to trust me.”

“How do you expect me to trust you when you lied to me about it? Why should I even think of any of your words to be true when you say lies so easily? They just roll off the tongue. You haven’t even blinked since we’ve started talking.”

He blinks.

“I often forget to. Our kind doesn’t exactly need to blink. It’s of no use for us, just a habit.”

“When are you going to give me straight answers?” You’re tired of this, tired of him walking around the questions, ignoring all of them and picking the least important one to answer. If you weren’t so terrified that anyone in the room would rip your throat out, you would’ve bolted a while ago. He sits back on the cushion, taking out his phone. There’s no caller ID, but he answers as if he knows who’s calling already.

“This isn’t the deal, Subin,” It’s Seonghwa’s voice. There’s no teasing in it, no anger. It’s eerily monotone. Despite the circumstances, you’re relieved to hear him.

“You know you’re not supposed to come over here. Breaks the deal, Hwa,” Subin says, eyes on you. “You’d break our pact? Over some girl?”

“If she was just some girl, you wouldn’t be with her right now,” A screech of burnt rubber echoes behind his voice. Whoever is driving is racing over here to get you. “Let her go and nothing has to happen. We go back to the way it was.”

Subin laughs, holding the phone closer to his face. “If only it was that easy. You and I both know what she requested. You can’t interfere with what she chooses.”

What are they talking about? It has to be about your past self, but you haven’t the slightest inkling or reference to what they’re saying.

“She’s been dead for over a hundred years. Promises don’t last that long. Doe,” his voice softens as he utters the nickname. “Can I hear your voice? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” your voice is barely above a whisper as you stare at his phone. “What’s going on, Seonghwa?”

“We’ll explain it when we can. I’m waiting outside for you now, you can leave. He’s not going to hurt you, okay?”

Your eyes flick to Subin. He holds your gaze, tilting his head slightly. There’s no anger in his eyes. In fact, it’s almost playful the way he holds your stare. He nods, confirming his words. He ends the call, placing his phone on the edge of the table. You slowly stand and he doesn’t move from his spot, as you give him his back, you hear soft words falling from his lips.

“I didn’t lie when I told you they’re dangerous, yn. Keep yourself safe. Don’t give your heart to them.”

You stride forward, ignoring the stares of his henchman and opening the door. You spot Seonghwa leaning against a car, arms crossed against his chest. His body relaxes when he sees you exiting. He doesn’t come to you, letting you walk across the street. Once you get to the middle, he moves without hesitance, pulling you into his arms. You haven’t spent much time with him so the hug is a bit unexpected, his fingers digging into the fabric of your jacket. He sighs softly, breath tickling your neck. He pulls back, eyes flicking over your body.

“He didn’t touch you, did he? Did any of them?” The soft tone drops for a moment, fury in his eyes. You shake your head and he sighs, nodding lightly. “The code hasn’t been broken, then.”

He opens the passenger side door, gesturing for you to enter. You thank him, sliding into the seat as he closes the door. He walks around to the other side, not making a sound as he sits. He puts the car into gear, driving off.

Seungwoo. One of your few friends. You’ve spent the last few years with him almost everyday at the bookstore. And if you really think about it, he’s the reason you’ve stayed there so long. He makes you laugh and comforts you when you’re not feeling great. He’s been your rock for so long. This… tonight. It’s a bit overwhelming as you think about it. The dark look in his eyes when Jongho called. The change that happened in an instant. Has he been lying all of these years? Was it just a coincidence that he’s part of Subin’s clan? Family? The thought makes you want to gag. The thought of him being there to watch you the whole time, to monitor you. You’ve told Seungwoo almost everything that’s ever happened to you. He knows your whole life story.

Your sort-of best friend isn’t who you thought he was.

“We truly didn’t mean for all of this to end this way,” Seonghwa says, slowly stopping at the red. He looks at you. Sympathy rests in his gaze. “If we knew about Seungwoo working with you we would have told you. This isn’t far to you, doe. You don’t deserve to go through all of this. It’s not what we envisioned for you.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, closing your eyes for a moment. “I trust him, Seonghwa. Trusted, I mean. He was pretty much my best friend. I counted on him for a lot. He was my rock. Having that pulled away, just like that. I don’t know what to do,” you admit, squinting slightly to stop the tears from forming. “I feel like my chest is caving in.”

“No words that I say can help how you feel,” he murmurs, pressing the gas. “Betrayal is a hard pill to swallow. I know the others are worried about you,” he turns, hand holding the gear stick. “But I’ve instructed them to give you some space. At least for a few days. It’s not much that I can do to help, but I hope that alleviates the explanation to everyone on how you feel. Not that you need to explain, of course. But if I can give you the chance to settle your own feelings then I will.”

It takes you a moment to take in his words. He barely speaks above a soft whisper, the silence of the car echoing his voice with ease. There’s no tension between the both of you, nothing that you have to dwell on. He speaks with conviction and sureness, not a hint of wavering in his voice. You’re a bit glad that he’s the one that came to pick you up despite not having much of a relationship with him yet. His presence is more comforting than you’d like to admit. You rest your head against the window.

“Thank you, Hwa.”

“No need for a thank you, doe. Just say the word and I’ll do anything for you.”

“That easy?” you chuckle, your anger and hurt easing a bit. “What if I said I wanted to win the lottery?”

You can’t see his face from where you’re sitting, but you can tell he’s smiling as he speaks, “Then you’ll win. Not that you need that, anyway. We have plenty of money for anything you may desire.”

You laugh. “I don’t care about money, you know. I was just joking.”

“That I know for certain. No one in their right mind would work at that bookstore willingly. Not only are the clientele elderly, but the pay for that type of work isn’t the greatest."

You chuckle at his words lightly, "Have you forgotten your age?"

He only rolls his eyes in response, "Speaking of the bookstore, and I won’t pry if you don’t want me to, but what will you do?”

You haven’t gotten that far in your train of thought. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to see Seungwoo again. He’s been working there so long, I doubt he’d just leave because it’s uncomfortable between us now. Maybe I’ll take a few days off and think about it.” You have enough savings to support yourself for a while. Food and other things here and there. And you’ve paid your rent for next month already so there’s no worry about that.

“We won’t let anything burden you,” he says, slowing down. The familiar driveway appears, the car slowly creeping up. “Just ask.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to support me.” You can’t even bear the thought. Your parents taught you independence. Relying on yourself before anyone else. Suddenly giving up that freedom and being taken care of by them isn’t what you want. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Doe…” He puts the car in park, gaze moving to yours.

“It’s fine, Seonghwa. Thank you for getting me out of there. Really,” you nod to him. “Thank you for everything.”

“Don’t speak like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re saying goodbye. You’ll be fine, I promise you that. We will take care of you.”

You laugh dryly, opening your door. “I’ll see you inside.”

You leave him alone in the car, hands tucked in your pockets as you walk through the front door. There’s no one to greet you - per Seonghwa’s promise to you. You enter the kitchen, glancing through the contents before grabbing a yogurt and walking back to your room. Your gaze moves to the open one right next to yours. The idea of snooping around isn’t exactly at the top of your list. But through the small crack, you see something odd. Are those faces?

You open your door and place the yogurt to the side, entering the room. What you see makes your stomach twist. The room is covered in drawings, self-portraits. Majority of them are crudely crossed-out with red ink. You take a step closer, your hand running along the lines. It feels like dried chalk. The artwork is too old for it to be recent, so you can only assume all of these people died hundreds of years ago.

Were these their victims? You know that they were pirates in their time, back when the majority of them were still human. But why would they keep these on the wall? Do they consider them trophies of the past? Reminders of who they once were?

Your body shakes as you continue to stand there. You didn’t think this through, at all. You shouldn’t have asked to move in temporarily with them. Despite their past with your past, you don’t know each other. They’re killers, they’ve killed. The only thing you’ve done was kill some bugs, not people.

“What are you doing?”

You turn quickly, seeing Jongho stand by the doorway. He looks concerned, his eyes moving from the wall to you. “You were supposed to be resting. I didn’t mean to disturb you, but I saw the door open and –”

“I’m fine,” you interrupt, thoughts scattered. You can almost feel the eyes of the portraits on your back, watching the both of you. “I thought this was my room. It’s my mistake, it’s been a long day.”

His brows furrow. “yn–”

“I’m fine!” your voice rises, moving around his figure in the doorway. He doesn’t try to touch you, and you thank him for that, entering your own room. You lock the door behind you, taking a breath. Out. You need out.

“What’s going on? Hey, speak to me.” He stands outside the door still. He’s one of them. Doesn’t matter if he drinks out of blood bags. He killed just like the rest of them. It wouldn’t shock you if some of his victims were on the wall as well. “Is this about the wall? I can explain that.”

“I’d rather not talk to a killer, thanks,” you say back.

"yn, open the door please," the knob jiggles but you ignore it. There's nothing in the room that could be used as a weapon, especially against someone as strong as him. But you're still frantic, pulling open drawers and peeking between furniture for anything that can help you. The knob is moving quicker now at your silence, your heart beating in your ears.

"Can we just speak about this? Running away isn't going to solve anything–"

"There's something wrong with all of you, every single one!" you say back looking beneath the bed frame. "I should have known something was off when I first met you. You're obsessed with someone in your past, not me. And then I find those pictures, all of those people that you’ve hurt… did you expect me to just be okay with that?"

"You are her," Jongho pleads. You hear the wood crack, your stomach flipping. "And we’ve had them in storage for a while. Let's talk without this barrier between us, please. Just a few minutes."

"Are you going to let me go?" You ask, eyes on the door. He's silent.

"It's too dangerous for us to let you go. There are others looking for you. You'll be safer here than roaming the streets. Please just give me a chance, just a moment."

"You're lying," you move to the window, lifting it up. You're only on the third floor, but there's a lower roof you can climb on. It's a longshot, but you might be able to escape. "You always lie. All of you."

"We're trying to protect you–"

"No," you say sharply. "You're trying to keep me for yourselves. Perhaps Subin was right. Maybe I do need to go."

The door swings open, and you climb through the window and slam it shut, leaving Jongho alone in the room. You don't look back, even as you hear the window shatter. You run across the roof, slipping slightly on the shingles. Your eyes move around for anything close enough to the ground, quickly seeing a ladder on the side of the house. You bolt, sliding across the roofing and making it to the ladder. Jongho gets there just as you’re climbing down, staring at you touching the grass.

“Let’s talk,” a hand touches your shoulder and you flinch, gaze moving up. Mingi stands there, nodding at Jongho briefly. Said man disappears into the darkness, leaving you and Mingi alone. You haven’t had much time to speak to the tall man and frankly, you don’t really want to. His disgusted attitude to you that switched when he found out this strange past of yours only makes you angry.

“Let me go and then we can talk,” you say, taking steps back. He follows with ease, sighing softly.

“You’re making this complicated, you know that right? Jongho let you come down because he knew I was here. He can catch up to you easily, as can I. As can the others. This game that you’re trying to play won’t end the way you think.”

“Then what?” you raise your arms in exasperation. “You expect me to sit here on my hands and just let you all do whatever you want with me? Pretending like I care about any of you? Because I don’t, Mingi. I don’t know you, you don’t know me. You don’t care about me!” you yell, fury coating your features. “You keep on saying that you do but you don’t, you just don't.”

“We do care about you, rose, we love you-”

“You love a woman who died hundreds of years ago, and you’re using me to try to make up for what happened. I am not her, Mingi. And I will never be her. So just stop trying to mold me into this person that I’m not, because I’ll never live up to your standards. I’ll never be an adventurous pirate that sails the seas with a crew of all of you. I can barely stand on a boat without feeling sick. I am not her. And I will never be her. The sooner you admit that, the sooner we can all get along, or you can forget about me and I can go back to my old life.”

Mingi’s expression softens. “It doesn’t work that way and you know that. There are others looking for you.”

“Then let them. Let them find me and do whatever the fuck, because I don’t care anymore. I’m not scared of them, I’m not scared of you. Every single one of you is looking for a woman who’s gone. You say that you love me, but you do not love me in a way that I’ll understand. You all have memories that I only have slivers of,” you take a breath. “Everyone wants someone to love them. I’ve always wanted love. But I did not want it this way. I did not want a past self of mine to have known you more than I myself. For you to know things about me that I’m not conscious of. I don’t want that. This love is not the type that I want.”

“Will you try, then?” he asks softly. “It will be difficult for all of us, but if this is what you want then we want it as well.”

“Can you speak a single thought on your own, Mingi?” You ask softly. “You always say we. But what do you believe? What are you thinking on your own?”

He laughs, a break in the tension between the both of you. You watch as he swallows, Adam’s apple moving as he takes a moment. “I… I believe that we– I, can make this work. I want what’s best for you, yn. I cannot forget how we were. That is something that’s impossible to do. And I may mention it from time to time, but I will learn that you are you, and you before is no longer here. I can see that even now, looking at you. You’re kinder, smarter. You don’t make rash decisions - besides coming here of course. But you are unique. And you are intriguing. It will not be hard to fall in love with you again.”

A dry laugh comes out of you as you look at him. Your brows twitch as you gaze into his eyes. You can’t tell in the dark, the red. Right now, he looks like any other person. Reaching out to you, asking you what you want. He waits patiently for you to respond, eyes open.

“I don’t know about this,” you admit. “You all desire something I don’t know if I can give. I haven’t really been in love before. I’ve had relationships, but nothing solid. So trying to do that with eight of you is not… is scary. I mean, I’m completely fucking terrified. And that’s saying something, since I don’t really get scared. I mean for fuck’s sakes, the drawings of all those people? X’s covering their faces?”

“That is not ours, yn.” Mingi says, picking his words carefully. “The past you, she was not just a pirate like us. She had a family before us. People that cared about her. She kept those people on her all the time. We weren’t sure who they were exactly, but years after she died we found out that was her family. They were killed by another pirate crew. She kept them close for years, and stowed away on our ship. To get revenge. The people that we have killed are not trophies that we gather, yn. All of the people that we’ve killed get a proper burial. Anything of the sort hasn't happened in over a hundred years. Not humans, anyway. I hope you believe my words, yn. We’ve lived in peace this whole time. We don’t want to be the monsters from the tales.”

Could his words be true? Or is it just a lie? You stare at him, unable to tell. They’ve been lying about themselves for years, saying another lie can fall off the tongue just as easily. But a part of you wants to trust them, wants to believe their words. All you’ve done is doubt them. And as silly as it sounds, you didn’t want to hate them.

"I'll try," you say, choosing your words carefully. "Over time, I'll try to believe you. But right now it's too hard, Mingi," you rub your face. "It's too much to think about."

"Then would you like to go back home? We will let you," he says softly. "But I am warning you, desperately, that they will find you there. Your scent is easy to spot, and the charms residue only makes it more so. I don't want you to think you're forced to stay here because you're not. You're free to leave whenever you desire. Just a fair warning."

"Doesn't seem far," a small smile lingers on your lip, and he matches it.

"You're right, it doesn't. But as the old saying goes, life is never fair. Although I do find it quite pleasing that I've gotten the opportunity to love you again."

You snort, dusting off your pants. "Trust me, I'm not that easy to fall for."

"Hm. Somehow I don't believe that's true."

"Better believe it then," you glance at the ladder you just climbed down. "Do I have to take that again?"

His laugh is boisterous in the darkness. "I should make you, but no. The others wouldn't like that I made you climb up the side of our home. I'd rather not be punished–" he stops, glancing at you. Your playful expression is gone, worry in your eyes. "When we go inside I can show you to Yeosang’s room. He doesn't like it when others enter, but I'm sure he'll make an exception for you. And I’m sure you’d like to speak to him."

You nod slowly, walking to the back entrance. Mingi follows close. You haven’t seen Yeosang in days. It worried you, the way his body crumbled at your feet. You’ve wanted to see him again but you haven’t had the chance to. Avoiding Hongjoong was your priority, and that just meant that entering Yeosang’s room was a risk. You’re still unsure of their relationship, no matter what Hongjoong says. Hearing what Yeosang says about it is what you want. Not the other way around.

"yn?"

You look at Mingi. He rubs the back of his neck, gaze everywhere but your face. "None of us are punished. Not from Hongjoong, not from anyone. But a few of us aren't well under certain circumstances. Hongjoong has never hurt us in any way. That's why we trust him with everything that we have. He didn't tell me to say this to you. I just wanted you to know my thoughts. I don't want you to misinterpret the dynamics of our home. We follow his advice because we always have, but his word isn't law. All of our rules are decided as a group. With Yeosang, he’s different compared to us. We chose this life, he didn't. He rejects it, but he's lived on because he's had one goal."

Mingi doesn't tell you what the goal is, but you can guess. You don't respond to his words, letting him walk you to his room.

You stand outside it with Mingi just a step behind you, hand hovering over the doorknob. It’s not like you’re close with Yeosang – you barely know the man – but the thought of him on his knees lingers. Mingi doesn’t say anything to motivate you or dissuade you and for that you’re thankful. After a few more minutes of silence, the door swings open.

“I grew tired of you standing there without saying a word,” Yeosang says softly, heavy eyes moving to Mingi just behind you. He doesn’t say anything else, taking your hand lightly and pulling you into the room with him. The door shuts with a nudge from his foot. It’s too dark for you to see his décor. He guides you along with him, dropping lightly into the bed and dragging you along. Yeosang gives you the chance to protest – surely, not even a thought on his mind. He lets go of your hand, head hitting the pillow gracefully, eyes fluttering as his blond strands spread across the fabric. Looking at you, waiting.

With hesitance, you slide into his sheets, keeping a reasonable distance away from him. His expression relaxes once you situate yourself, eyes closing.

“Mingi should have informed you that our hearing is quite well,” he murmurs, lids still shut. “I’ve heard you ever since you’ve entered our home.”

You can feel your body warm at the thought of him waiting inside. “How embarrassing,” you quip, and he laughs softly. It’s a low tone, vibrating against the sheets. Your ears take it in briefly, calming you down a bit. “I was scared that you weren’t okay.”

“How kind.” Objectively the sentence itself holds sarcasm. But when he says it, it feels like he’s sincere. His eyes slowly open, gaze meeting yours. “Especially for a woman who seems to despise the very thought of us.”

“I’m sorry.” Despite the issues you’ve faced, it’s sincere. You’re not one to call others names, and the word just spilled from your lips. It wasn’t far from what you were thinking at that time, but it still isn’t right.

“You needn’t apologize to me,” he murmurs, hand resting between the both of you. “Your thoughts are your own. And we haven’t been the most welcoming of you. It would be shocking if you didn’t find us the least bit repulsive.”

“That’s not true,” you furrow your brows. “You’re not repulsive. And I did think you were monsters. I can’t lie about that. But I let my imaginations take over fact and put you all into that label without taking everything into consideration.”

Yeosang’s nose wrinkles. You’re thankful that they can’t hear your thoughts, because a quick one flashed in your mind at how endearing the motion was. “Jongho is less so compared to the rest of us. I did try to drink out of blood bags. It was too difficult for me. Especially warming it up,” he shivers. “The taste is old. Like drinking expired milk, but worse.”

“That’s disgusting.”

He snickers, “That it is.” His expression rests on yours. “I’m alright, yn. There’s no reason for you to worry for me.”

You can’t help yourself. “Why did you react that way when Hongjoong spoke to you? Why did you look as if he was going to hurt you–”

“He will never hurt me more than I do myself,” Yeosang says simply. He runs his fingers over the seams of the blanket. “I didn’t choose this like the others. I was forced into this. It was a mistake, yes, but one that I haven’t accepted fully.”

“Did Hongjoong…” You don’t say the rest, but he shakes his head at your inquiry.

“It was Wooyoung. He was lying in bed with me one night. It wasn’t wise for me to sleep next to him, especially after he just turned. But we didn’t know the effects that the curse had on you at that time. Our hunger is easier to control now, but back then it wasn’t. He bit me in the middle of the night. I was going to die, but then… I decided that it would be best to live longer. At least a few more decades more. But hundreds of years has taken its toll on my mind. Most days I don’t want to move from this mattress.”

He sighs softly, tucking himself deeper. His eyes slowly take in your features, hand reaching up. "You've always been pretty to me," His fingers trace your jaw, brows pressed together. "Once I became this way, I found humans strange. But you’re not like the others." His finger stops at the corner of your mouth. Lingering there. He lets out a slow breath, the tremble of his hands inching him closer and closer to the skin of your lips. "You've always made me nervous. It seems like even this makes that same dull ache in my chest rise again. I hate how it feels, but it's the closest thing to humanity that I'll ever have."

"Why did you stay?" You ask. Yeosang’s gaze slowly moves to yours. It's heavy, anguish unknown to anyone. "You could have done what she did. But why did you stay?"

"For the slim chance that I would be able to see you again. To hold you. To smell you. That is why I held you. It… grounds me. Pulls me out of my head," he smiles. “This might be odd to say, but you smell comforting. It's a scent I've never forgotten."

“This smell thing really isn’t going to go away,” you murmur, his fingers still on the edge of your lips. He keeps his gaze on them as you talk. “It’s all any of you ever talk about.”

“If you were like us you’d know,” he says simply, shrugging. He finally drops his hand, sliding his arm underneath his blanket. “Nice change of conversation,” he notes, quirking his brow. “You’re good at that.”

“I try my best,” you say, keeping your eyes on him. He doesn’t say anything more, nor does he tell you to leave his room. His eyes look heavy, slowly blinking. “You should rest.”

“If I close my eyes I won’t be able to see you anymore. And that’d be such a travesty.”

“You’re good with your words.”

“I’m good at a lot of things.”

“I know you don’t know me well, Yeosang,” you say softly. “And don’t say this to the others, but I’m sorry that I’m not her.”

“And why should you apologize for being your own person?” he murmurs, blinking slowly as he watches you. “I do not wish that you were her, pretty. I am content with you being your own self. I would have ended my life a long time ago if that’s what I wanted.”

“Yeosang…”

“It hurt so much,” his hand trembles against yours as he reaches for it. “I couldn’t handle it, y/n. I couldn’t handle the thought that she was gone. I was crumbling. I’ve never felt more anguish in my life. The lingering thought in my head was that if she loved me, why did she decide to leave? Could she not bear the thought that she would have to spend eternity with us? At that time, I was selfish. I didn’t understand what was wrong with that. I didn’t understand the repercussions of those thoughts. I only understood when I saw how she handled it. But I couldn’t fathom that she would burn herself to ashes.” His grip tightens on your fingers. It isn’t painful. You can feel how much it hurts for him to think back to it. “I can still hear her screams.”

“I’m sorry.” There’s no other words you can say to comfort him, to make him feel better. He shakes his head, watery eyes blinking slowly.

“I don’t want to throw away another chance that I have to see you, even if you’re different. I know you are not her, because she would have scolded me a long time ago for crying over her,” he laughs. “She wouldn’t have looked at me with such sorrow and pity. Not that I mind your emotions, of course. It’s comforting to see that you’re worried for me.”

You roll your eyes, earning another laugh. It’s odd how easily you find comfort with him. Lying on his bed, only a few shuffles away and you’re fine with it. You try not to linger on the thought. Yeosang’s eyes narrow, a frown on his lips.

“There you go overthinking again. Is that a habit of yours?”

“Not overthinking. Only underthinking,” you tease, less humor compared to the last few jokes you’ve made. “You’re not as bad as I thought.”

“I’m glad. You’re the only warmth I’ve felt in a long time and I wouldn’t want to just push that aside. So thank you for that,” he pulls the blanket close, just beneath his chin. He still keeps his eyes on you. “You can stay if you’d like, pretty. You don’t look sure that I’m fine alone.”

Pretty. He says it with such ease, as if it’s your own name. It makes your heart tighten, your hands tremble. But staying in his bed for a night, even with the small conversation you’ve just had, isn’t the wisest thing to you. You still have to learn to trust them. So ignoring the little thought of maybe you should stay, you shake your head.

“I think I should go,” you rise from the bed, sliding off the edge. “I hope you have a good rest, Yeosang. You can talk to me whenever you’d like.”

“Wait,” his hand tugs on your shirt, fingers brushing against the sliver of skin from your rising shirt. You jump at his touch, and he pulls back immediately, blinking. “Ah, I didn’t mean to touch you.” Panic rests in his eyes as he looks at you. “I wasn’t going to try anything I promise that– “

“Yeosang I only jumped because of the cold,” you say. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

He shakes his head. “No, no. It’s alright. Perhaps it is best that you go.”

“Hey,” you reach out, hand resting against his face. “I’m not afraid of you. Do you understand?”

“Don’t do that,” His hand rests against yours. You don’t jump this time from the sudden cold, his larger hand covering yours completely. He swallows audibly, shaking his head. “Pretty, you haven’t the slightest clue what you do to any of us, do you? I…” his fingers squeeze your hand tightly, breathing heavily.

“Yeosang? What are you thinking?” In spite of his strong grip, you still rub your thumb against his cheek. His breath hitches, eyes immediately on yours.

“The thoughts in my mind now aren’t the most appropriate, especially in the position we’re in. I don’t want to do anything you wouldn’t like, so I beg you to go please. I thought it would be fine for you to sleep next to me, but I’m still not used to you being around. It will be hard to remain a gentleman,” He lets go of your hand completely this time, and you move away. His gaze lingers on you before he gives you his back, chest still rising and falling quickly.

You don’t dare overstay your welcome, leaving the room and shutting the door behind you. You hear the turn of a lock on the other side. It isn’t for the others, you know that well. You turn on your heels and walk up the hallway. It seems to blur together in the low light, your sense of direction lost. Where was the kitchen exactly? You stand in the middle of a hallway, glancing down three corridors. You know that there’s eight of them, but why is their home a maze?

“Lost?”

Seonghwa stands at the opposite end of a hallway, still dressed in his outfit from earlier. He holds a coffee mug in his hands, taking a few sips. He takes in your expression - which is leaning toward confusion - and laughs, holding out the cup to you. “Would you like a taste?” Although you can’t see from here, the dark tint on his lips makes your stomach flip.

“I’d rather not.”

“It’s hot chocolate, doe. I wouldn’t offer you blood.”

“I don’t know, you seem like the type,” you glance around. “Can you help me find my bed?”

He doesn’t say a word, spinning on his heel and disappearing around the corner. You hesitate, but follow him. Once you turn the corner, he stands at the entrance of a doorway. It doesn’t look like the room you’re staying in. He waves once you meet his eyes, shutting his door and leaving you in the hallway. You sigh, turning around. Your gaze meets the familiar wooden door.

Ah. So, Seonghwa sleeps across from you. What good luck you have! You swing open the door, mumbling things about life not being fair, and shut it closed behind you.

“Come to our show.”

It’s late in the evening as you sit in the kitchen, watching the guys walk back and forth, new articles of clothing placed on their body each time they pass. You sit in your pajamas, a bowl of cereal in front of you as you watch them prepare, not wanting to interrupt their routine. They’ve been navigating around you easily since you’ve taken your vacation from work. You’re thankful that Hongjoong hasn’t appeared, still not completely convinced of his innocence.

You stand from your spot, shaking your head, “Can’t. I’m busy.”

“You’re going out?” Yunho asks the question nonchalantly, adjusting his gloves. The rest continue to run back and forth, but you can see how they’ve slowed down, waiting for the answer to your question.

“Not exactly,” you respond, taking another bite. “I have a date with my show, that’s all. And looking for other jobs.” You add in the last line. That stops a few of them in their tracks.

Wooyoung widens his eyes as he tightens his corset, “No more bookstore?” You try not to stare at how it fits against his frame, eyes on your cereal.

You shake your head, “Don’t exactly feel safe after what happened. So whatever comes up I’ll grab it. I just hope it’s enough to cover what they were giving me at the store.”

“We’ll always help you Doe,” Seonghwa says softly, a smile on his lips. “I know you don’t like to hear that, but we will. I’m sure none of us would like to see you on the street.”

“Thank you for the offer,” is the only thing you say. Seonghwa only sighs, wishing you a goodbye. The others say their goodbyes one after another, Wooyoung being the last. He doesn’t say anything, watching you as you look through the fridge. You glance at him, and he smiles slightly. “Yes?”

“San is staying behind, Hongjoong too,” Wooyoung says simply, grabbing his bass case off the island. You widen your eyes, and he laughs, disappearing out the front door. You hear the click, heart beating against your chest. Alone. With the two people you’ve been ignoring. You turn your back to the entrance, quickly peering through the cabinets to grab the cereal box and disappear into your room. You hope that they’re still listening to Seonghwa’s words about leaving you alone, but the man is long gone. And Mingi already told you that they don’t follow anyone’s orders.

You’re fucked.

"You're avoiding me."

You tense up, your back to the man you've tried your best to never see. He was going to catch on eventually. You just wish you had a bit more time to figure out what you were going to say to him. You slowly close the fridge, taking a small bite of the peach you grabbed.

"We've just missed each other," you mutter. A hand stops you from moving to the side, blocking the lower cabinet. You let out a sigh and turn, still avoiding his face. Something about him makes your thoughts swirl, chest tighten. "You're in my way."

"Why won't you look at me? Why are you avoiding me? I just want to look at my pretty rose again." His free hand tugs lightly on your sweater, pinky brushing against your skin. You tremble.

Meeting his eyes is not the smartest move. So you move in the opposite direction, only for his other hand to trap you in his arms. A familiar position that Yeosang had you in just days ago. Except San doesn't move.

"Play with me," his voice is low, hands edging closer together. They're still far enough apart that he doesn't embrace you. You try to control the beating of your heart, hands sweating. You slowly turn, meeting his gaze. His smile slowly forms, eyes steady on yours. "Now why have you avoided me?"

His tone is playful, a contrast to how he edges closer. His chest is barely touching yours, head dipped into the curve of your shoulder. "I'd do anything for you, you know," he whines, lips pressed against your neck. He places a small kiss on your skin. "All you have to do is answer me." His thigh slides in between your legs, pressing against you. Your breath hitches, peach falling to the floor.

“You’re always with him,” you don’t say the name, but he can probably guess. “And I didn’t want to be around him. So I’ve been staying away from you as a result. That’s all, San.”

“Ah, that’s all? So that means I’m still on your good side then, kitten?” he grins, wide against his cheeks. Familiar dimples grinning back at you. “I heard about you going into your room and leaving me alone. How about this: we play a game. If I win, you continue to play with me. And if you win, you can go back to evading me. Deal?”

“What game?” you ask. He laughs at the question.

“Cat and mouse. And you can probably guess who’s the cat.”

Playing a quick game with San. You can pick several places around this home to hide so that he doesn’t find you. But still, he has an advantage. “You can smell me, San. It isn’t fair.”

He pouts at your words, shaking his head. “I promise not to cheat. Please,” he moves closer. Your body shakes as his chest presses against yours, his lips against your temple. “I’ll play fair for you.”

There’s no possible way he can’t smell you. That’s the main sense that they use. You can count endless on how many times they’ve mentioned your scent. But his body surrounding you pulls you away from all reasonable thoughts. You only nod, raising your hands to press against his shirt. This time you can feel how his body tenses at your touch, backing away from you.

“Deal. How long do I have?”

“Sixty seconds,” he shrugs, glancing at the clock. You furrow your brows.

“San-”

“Now it’s fifty-six. Better run, kitten. I’m pretty good at this game.”

You push around him as he laughs, running down the hallway. The obvious place that you would go is your room, so you slowly push open the door of the third room you see. It’s dark, but you can make out a few places to hide. A thick curtain covering the corner of a bookshelf catches your eye. You slide in between the small space, lying on the floor so that he doesn’t see you.

Now that you think about it, all of this is a bit silly. You never imagined yourself as an adult, hiding away from someone and playing a game of hide and seek. Or cat and mouse, as he called it. You press yourself flat against the floor, letting out a low laugh. A week ago you barely had friends, but here you are: in a stranger’s home, hiding away from a vampire that likes you a bit too much.

A creak from the front of the room stops your laughter, the sound getting louder as the door opens. Slow steps enter the room, the sound of San’s feet tapping against the wood. He hums, the sound of things being moved around filling the silence.

"Should I pretend that I don't know you're here?" His voice is soft. You can't see his expression, but you can only guess that he's smirking, that wide Cheshire grin on his lips. He shuts the door behind him, humming. You can't help but admire the tune as he walks around the room. "I didn't cheat, I swear. You just left my door open. And I never do, so it's a process of elimination.”

He lets out a breath, “I wonder if you knew this was my bedroom."

You didn't. But you only had sixty seconds, barely enough time to look around. And in all honesty, you probably wouldn’t have noticed. It’s a bit hard to see a room draped in complete darkness.

"Since you're still hiding, I presume that now's my chance to finally talk to you. We're worried, kitten," His voice is free of teasing for a moment. "I know you're probably wondering why. We're all close, as you might know. Some of us chose this, some didn't. Some of us enjoy it, but others don't. We just have to live with our choices. It's unfortunate. But that's not what I want to speak to you about."

The chair in front of you squeaks as he drags it against the hardwood, sitting loudly. You see the tip of his boot just a few centimeters away from your spot. He adjusts himself in the seat.

“Seonghwa told us to give you some space. You’ve been through a lot, and I understand that. Yes, I did complain a bit about it. I wanted to be by you every second if I could. But now that you’re here, I just want to say something: we don’t want to do anything with you that you don’t like. We’re worried because of the other clan. They aren’t the most caring when it comes to humans. They are like how we were when we first turned into vampires. Nothing has changed over the years. That’s why they take every human they can under their control. We’re worried, because we don’t want that to happen to you.”

“You have a code,” you speak up. “Seonghwa talked about it when I was there. A treaty of some sort between you two. They won’t break it, will they?”

“We created it so that they wouldn’t,” San says. “But as of right now, you coming into the picture changes many things.”

“I knew them,” you interrupt. “I … I feel like I know them.”

“You did,” his voice is soft. You push back the curtains. His eyes are resting on yours, solemn. “I can’t tell you more without the others being around, but you did know them. As you knew us, although it was different with them. But I can’t say much more. I just want you to know that we’re worried, and we wish that you can stay aware of your surroundings. We can’t tell you what to do, as your thoughts and decisions are your own. We can just tell you what we advise, and you can decide from there. Okay?”

You stare at him, trying to pry anything away from his expression. Deceit, trickery. But he only looks at you with concern, the playful expression from before long gone. He holds out his hand, and you take it, shivering. The cold is something you’re not sure you’d ever get used to. He helps you with ease, even as you stumble. His free hand reaches out, stabilizing your thigh.

“Okay?” he asks again, and you nod. He sighs, hand dropping from yours. San lets them run up your thighs, fingers curling into your pants loops. He tugs you forward, and you almost fall into his lap, your hands pressed against his chest. He doesn’t move, even as you hold your full body weight on him. He looks up at you, brow raised. “I don’t quite hear you, kitten.”

“Okay,” you breathe, and he nods, letting you go. You move away from him almost instantly, the feeling of his chest underneath your palms still lingering. He stands, humming once more.

“I don’t think the game was that fair. I found you too quickly,” he pouts, looking at you. “Round two? And this time, I’ll follow through with my promise.” his brows lift, wiggling. “Unless you want to declare me as the winner. I wouldn’t mind that.”

“Round two. And no sniffing!” You insist, and he laughs, shrugging innocently. “Choi San.”

His brows furrow for a moment, flashing with an unknown emotion. “Sure thing. I promise.”

You exit the room without him saying that he’s starting, escaping down the corridor. Again, you ignore your room. And Seonghwa’s,as well, just across. You haven’t had the chance to actually explore the enormous property, too occupied with work and the dangers of the outdoors for much else. You hesitate in front of a closed door, eyeing the outside. It’s an outlier compared to the other rooms. The door almost seems old, wood cracking in various places. Like it hasn’t been touched in ages. You twist the knob, slowly entering. Again, the lights are off. Your hand wanders along the wall for a light switch, but you find nothing of the sort. The dark is enough that you can barely make out a bed in the middle. You slowly make your way over, trusting yourself not to bump into anything else. You slowly crouch next to it, your hand bumping into something warm.

Before you can scream, a hand covers your mouth and stops you in an instant. You’re pulled against a chest, an arm wrapped around your torso, trapping you in his grip. You're about to scream when you hear his voice whisper.

"San is right outside, love. Didn't you want to hide?" His hold on you loosens, hand still covering your mouth. You relax slightly, though you rest your hands where he holds you. You can feel how his heart beats against your back. Its rhythm matches yours.

The door opens. Your eyes widen as you see San walk in, hands tucked in his pockets. Hongjoong slides closer to the wall, his grip on you strengthening once more. You don't say a word – and probably can't because of his hold – hand dropping from your mouth. He wraps both arms around you, face pressed against your neck. You pretend not to feel the soft touch of his lips against your skin, the way his hands tremble as they secure you to him.

San glances around the room, eyes flicking to the side of the bed where you two are hidden. Hongjoong's lids flutter against your skin. He doesn't say a word, keeping still. San hesitates as he stands at the edge of the bed. Hongjoong's hand slowly slides back to your mouth, covering it completely. His free hand wanders, now resting against your thigh. Your breath hitches as you feel his fingers wander, lingering around the curve of your thigh. Barely inches from your center.

Your eyes widen, eyes flicking to where San is. You almost jump, his gaze meeting yours easily. They narrow slightly, flicking to the man behind you. But surprisingly, he doesn't utter a word. He only whistles, turning on his heel.

Leaving the two of you alone.

The door shuts behind him, his steps fading away. You push against Hongjoong’s hold and he lets you go with ease. You quickly stand from the spot, not bothering to meet his eyes. So much for staying away from the man. The lights flicker slightly.

"How long will this last?"

You tense up at his voice, eyes flicking up to him. Hongjoong leans against a pillar next to his bed, hands tucked into his robes pockets. His blue hair is messy on his forehead, the night too dark for you to make out much else. The only reason why you decided to come here is because you thought it was abandoned. So seeing Hongjoong stand there, the man you've been avoiding, isn't exactly something you wanted. Without saying a word to him, you turn on your heel, moving to the door.

"Don't leave me," he mumbles. The words make you hesitate, hand resting against the knob. "We can't work this out if you won't speak to me, love."

"I am not your love."

"yn–"

"I can't pretend with you, Hongjoong. And I'm not going to. I've done enough of that in just the last few days."

"What can I do? To fix this?" He gestures between the both of you. "I just need something. A hint, perhaps. I want to make this okay again."

"There is no this, Hongjoong that's the point. There was never a this. So let's stop pretending like there ever was, and get back to our normal lives." As normal as you can call this.

"Is that it? You're just going to hate me forever?"

"Yes, and if there's such a thing greater than forever, then that too."

“I’ve never touched any of them,” Hongjoong says softly. “I’ve never thought to punish any of them. I said those words, yes, but I didn’t mean it. I was just angry that he showed you something you aren’t ready to see yet, especially without the rest of us there. I want our connection to be built slowly, to be organic. I don’t want your feelings for us to be forced.”

“Why do you think that I’m just going to love you because I’m under the same roof as the rest of you? I’m staying here because I believed Subin’s words and messed everything up. I don’t plan on loving any of you. I just want a safe place for me to live until this tracking potion dissolves into nothing. That’s all.”

You’re telling the truth, mostly. The care that you feel for a few of them already scares you. Sure, you can deny it as long as you’d like. Hongjoong wouldn’t know, none of them will. But you don’t want to love them. That’s the last thought on your mind. You just want to wake up and be okay.

“Are you saying that you’re not the least bit attracted to any of us? Not even a bit?” He asks, eyes narrowed as they take you in. “If that’s the case, then I understand.”

You scoff, “Wanting to fuck you isn’t the same thing as wanting to make love to you.”

His brow quirks. “Ah. So you want to fuck me, then?”

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath, “I want you to realize that just because I’m attracted to you doesn’t mean anything.”

“So you’re attracted to me, then?” A teasing smile rests on his lips as you glare at him, hand still on the door knob. “yn, I’m not what you think I am. I’m not this angry and bitter man, pissed off at anything that doesn’t go my way. I am reasonable. Have you never been furious at anything in your life?”

“You’re trying to make me feel bad, and it’s not working,” you narrow your eyes. “I don’t have time for this.”

“Ah, so you’ll just run away then? Is that it? When we’re having a conversation longer than a minute, you’re dissuaded?”

Everything he says and does irritates you. The smirk resting on his lips, the quirked brow. The way his hands are tucked in his robe pockets, the casual demeanor. If you didn’t know he was the first of his kind, you’d think he was just a cocky asshole. He pushes the wild strands back, sighing lightly. You hate that you’re attracted to him. And your slip of the tongue about wanting him isn’t exactly how you planned to confront him.

“I don’t like you, Hongjoong,” you say, lips in a straight line. “And I doubt that I ever will.”

“Never say never, love.”

You know he’s adding in the nickname to make you angry, but you don’t fall for the bait. You stick up the middle finger at him, swinging open the door and closing it, loudly.

“Fuck you,” you mutter, walking down the hallway, feet stomping against the floors. “Fuck you and your stupid smile.” You say the words even as your heart thumps in your chest, your hands sweaty as you wipe it on your pajama pants. “And your blue hair.”

You’re just saying things at this point.

You turn down the hallway, not bothering to quiet down your movements. The door to your room is a bit open. You think nothing of it, entering and closing the door behind you. You turn back around, jumping at the man resting at the desk by your bed. His hands are folded in his lap as he leans back, humming softly.

“You forgot about me,” he doesn’t open his eyes, rocking himself in the chair. “You went to play with Joong instead.”

For a moment you’re still annoyed, but it slips as you look at him. San hasn’t done anything wrong to you, and being angry at him is a mute point. There’s no need to push your emotions to the next person you see. So you only murmur a pitiful sorry, sitting on the edge of your bed. You rub your face, thinking.

“You do that a lot,” San says softly. “Rub your face when you’re bothered. Are you bothered by me? I can leave you alone. Just say the word.”

You shake your head, “No, not at you. I honestly…” you huff. “How do you deal with that grumpy old man all the time? Even looking at him bothers me.”

San laughs loudly, throwing his head back at your words, “Old man? You’re silly.”

You roll your eyes, lying back against your sheets. “Maybe I am.”

“Hongjoong is… he’s a difficult person to deal with. He doesn’t quite understand how bothersome he can be. You’re not the only one who avoids him. All of us have our share of arguments with Hongjoong. It’s not as unlikely as you might think. Like right now,” his eyes open. “He’s isolated himself for a few days recently. No matter how much the rest of us try to figure out what’s going on, he just ignores us. You’re actually the first person to have a conversation with him in the past few days.”

“What about you?” You’re sure you’ve seen San with him, glimpses of them in the hallway together, speaking in hushed tones. At least on that first night after the incident. “I know I’ve seen you with him. That’s why I avoided you.”

“Ah, so that was what you meant when you said that,” he frowns. “No. Hongjoong doesn’t confide in me. Seonghwa sometimes yes, but not me. Anything that you’ve seen was me attempting to speak to hyung.” He stands from his spot, brushing off his pants. “You must be exhausted after tonight. I’ll leave you alone.”

The switch in his words confuses you. Just a moment ago he was open, playful. But the cold look in his eyes is a bit alarming. He doesn’t bother to say goodnight, nodding at you before exiting, locking it before closing the door completely.

You stare at the door.

“What the hell?”

“Does she believe your words?” Wooyoung asks, taking a sip of his drink. The ice swirls in it as he sits outside the club. If someone looked closely, they’d see blood dried against the collar. On the palm of his hands, dried against his neck. “She’s hard to convince this time around.”

“She believes enough of it,” Mingi says softly, watching as people walk by. A woman glances at the two of them not-so discreetly. Wooyoung winks and Mingi only looks bored, head leaning against the concert wall. “San will convince her, his charm is unlike any other.”

“But she doesn’t quite trust him,” he throws the glass into the bushes behind him. “His charm can only lead him so far. She’s going to see through it eventually. She’s smarter than we give her credit for.”

The door creaks open, the others walking out one after another. “Can’t believe she believed your story about the faces,” Yunho shakes his head, glaring at the glass in the bush. He takes it out, throwing it into Wooyoung’s lap. The younger whines but he ignores him, eyes back to Mingi. “Who the Hell left them just hanging on the wall? Yeosang, was it you?”

Yeosang rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “Now why would I let the dead hang on the wall? I didn’t care for their faces before, and I still do not now. No need to stare at the people who tried to take her away from us.”

“It was me,” Wooyoung smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was just before she came. I was too excited and left it there. I thought I locked the door when I left. I’m sure I did.”

“You obviously didn’t,” Jongho says, the last to exit the building. He locks the door, stretching out his limbs. “We had to fabricate an excuse because of your slip up.”

The others don’t feel the need to chime into the scolding, keeping to their own conversations. Yeosang only listens in silence, deep in his thoughts. A nudge from Jongho makes him move, a slow walk to the shared car. He sits in the back, rubbing his face.

“Tired?” Mingi asks, looking back. Yeosang only shrugs.

“Long night.”

“You okay? You didn’t even drink any tonight,” Seonghwa finally says a word, eyes on his rearview. “It’s been a few days. You’re going to get sick soon. You have to be careful.”

“I know that,” his tone is sharp. Yeosang immediately realizes what he’s done, looking at the rearview. “I’m sorry. I haven’t had an appetite, but I’ll drink soon. Jongho has some bags at home I can try.”

“You gag every time, hyung. You’re just going to waste it,” Jongho notes, turning in his seat. “Just go out for a late run. We don’t want to see you like that again.”

Yeosang doesn’t respond to him, shutting his eyes. The bright fluorescence only makes his headache grow. He hasn’t felt like this for a while, the lack of blood tiring him. The thought of drinking from a human makes his stomach queasy. The familiar feeling of when he was just turned into this thing rising again. It took him years to push this burden away, but it’s just happening all over again. And the solution back then isn’t something he can consider now.

He rubs his brows.

San left your room long ago. It’s late in the night, and you know you should probably sleep. The others already came back, in their individual rooms. Lingering on the thought of his abrupt exit has your mind swirling. You rise from your blankets, pushing yourself off the mattress and into the hallway. Seonghwa’s door is shut as you walk down the hallway. You were planning on warming up some milk to try to get some semblance of rest, but your eyes land on Yeosang’s ajar door. You can see a lamp light on, a low cough coming from inside. It’s very likely that he already knows you’re outside the door just as before, but you still hesitate. He kicked you out before, what makes you think that you’re invited again?

The next cough is louder this time, as if he’s gagging. Fear rises in your heart as you swing open the door. Yeosang’s on the floor, coughing violently. You rush over and crouch next to him, patting his back. The motion is silly, he’s a vampire and you doubt he’d die from choking, but you do it nevertheless. His coughs slowly subside, fingers digging into the rug beneath him. You can smell the familiar iron scent, the color of it staining the fabric.

“I’m okay,” he says, voice scratchy. “You can go.”

“Why do you always kick me out?”

“I don’t want you to see me this way, pretty,” he lets go of the rug, head turning to you. The blood is smeared across his lips, staining the front of his nightshirt. He wipes his face, looking back at the floor. The blood bag is spilling against the carpet. He picks it up slowly, leaning it against a leg of his bed. “I’m not at my best right now.”

“You’re okay,” you only say, and he doesn’t respond. He stands up slowly, wiping his hands against his pants. He walks into his bathroom, leaving you alone in the room. For a moment you think that he’s going to abandon you in the room, but he comes back out. His face is free of the blood, shirt and pants changed. Still, he says nothing to you, his body sitting down on his bed. Even as you sit next to him, bodies inches apart, he stares down.

"Talk to me," you murmur, tilting your head so that your eyes could meet. He actively avoids it, staring at his fingers. You think for a moment before moving in between the line of sight. A small smile settles on his lips, eyes finally meeting yours. It's a brief moment, gaze heavy once more. You rest your head on his thighs, his hands hesitant.

“Is this okay?” you ask, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"You flinched from my touch." He murmurs. You’re assuming he’s talking about the last night you’ve seen him. The way you jumped when he grabbed your wrist.

"It was unexpected."

He sighs, gaze on yours. "You don't have to lie, pretty. I saw the fear in your eyes."

"That fear was not fear of you, Yeosang. It was fear that you'd be upset at my actions. And since when have I agreed to you calling me pretty? All of these nicknames that you all have given me. You should give me a chance to agree with them, no?"

He laughs softly. His fingers shake as he brushes flyaway hairs from your face, deep in his thoughts. You don't care to pull him out of it, his cool skin only comforting to the blistering heat outside. He leans down, your eyes steady on his. His thumb rubs your cheek, gaze settled on your lips. He licks his own, a shallow breath escaping him.

"I want you badly," His finger presses lightly into your bottom lip. "I should be ashamed for being selfish with your time in comparison to the others, but how can I be? They are jealous of our closeness, you know. Perhaps you should visit them often as well."

"And why aren't you jealous?"

He smirks, brow quirking. "Because they occupy your days, but you only come to warm my bed at night."

"Yeosang…" His name falls breathless. His eyes widened slightly, hand stiff. He lets go of you, but doesn’t move from his spot. “Why were you drinking out of a bag?”

His gaze is empty. But you wait, his silence no longer an answer. “I can’t… my mind is too filled with unnecessary thoughts. So I’ve been trying to drink out of that microwaved bag for over an hour now. And as you’ve seen, I haven’t been the most successful. But humans, their smells feel wrong.” His nose scrunches. “You might call this cheesy, but I can only stand your smell. Now that I’m familiar with your scent again, everyone else smells distasteful.”

“What will you do?” You ask, looking back to the bag on the floor. “All of the blood from the bag is on the rug.”

He laughs humorlessly, “Good question. I’ll keep on trying. Even an ounce is better than nothing.”

Your next thought isn’t wise at all. But as you stare up at him, worry rising in your chest, it’s hard not to think of it. Yeosang is struggling, that you can tell. You thought he was just moody the past few days, barely any words falling from his lips. But it’s because he’s been starving himself. And… and this isn’t smart to think about. Isn’t smart to wonder. But you cannot help it. It’s a burden to be this empathetic.

“No.” Yeosang shakes his head, looking down at you. “Don’t ask, because I will tell you no.”

“I haven’t said a word yet–”

“I’m not drinking from you, yn. No.” His tone seems final, gaze steady on yours. “That’s not something that I’d consider. You’re not going to be food for me. I won’t allow it.”

“You’re hurting,” you say.

“I can handle it.”

“You can’t.”

“You don’t know me, yn. You haven’t the slightest idea what I can handle,” his voice breaks as your hand touches his cheek, lids fluttering at the touch. “I’m okay, alright?”

You lean up, “Okay. I won’t push you.”

He lets out a breath of relief. “Thank you. I wanted to ask you something.”

“Go ahead,” you drop your hand from his cheek, adjusting yourself on the edge of his bed. “I’m all ears.”

“Why are you awake? It’s four in the morning.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Same as you, mind is reeling. Can’t sleep. I was planning on grabbing a cup of milk. Maybe hot chocolate now.”

“Can I join you?” His voice is low. “Something to occupy mine.”

You stand, nodding. He follows you in an instant. You can’t help but laugh at his sudden eagerness, body just a step away from yours as you two walk into the kitchen. He rests at the island, watching as you pour milk into a small pot. You look back at him.

“Hot chocolate?”

His smile is small, “No thank you.”

You shrug, “Your loss.” You move, leaning up to open a top cabinet. Your hands hesitate against the knob, thinking back to just a few days ago. Yeosang trapping you in this exact spot. You move quickly, pulling out the mix and shutting the doors a bit loud. You stare at the stove, your back to Yeosang as you try to calm your breaths.

This kitchen has given you more action than you’ve ever had in your life.

“What’s on your mind?” Yeosang asks from behind you. You turn on your heel. Too quick, your finger touches the blade of the scissors. You hiss, grabbing your hand. A cut splits down the length of your index finger. You turn around, turning to the sink. Before you can put your hand underneath the water, Yeosang’s hand stops you. His grip is tight as he holds you.

His gaze is hard, eyes stuck on the blood dripping down your finger. His red eyes darken as he continues to stare. His hand trembles as it holds yours, thoughts running through his mind.

“Yeosang–”

“Hold on, give me a moment. Just… a moment, pretty,” his words are low as he keeps his gaze on your hand. “I can’t…” he breathes, shaking his head. “yn…” He looks scared as he meets your gaze. He doesn’t say anything else, swallowing deeply. You offered before, accepted his rejection of it. And he might not be in the right headspace to say no again, that you can tell. You wanted to help him, but you wanted him to agree to it first.

“I won’t force you,” you say softly. “Decide for yourself, Yeo.”

Yeosang’s lip twitches at his name. “Yeo. Are we that close that you’re giving me nicknames now?” He throws your words back at you, smiling. He slowly brings your finger to his lips. His cold breath tickles your skin. He looks at you as he drags his tongue along the cut, blood tainting his lips. It’s cold on your finger. His other hand reaches out, holding your arm up to him. He slides your finger into his mouth, sucking lightly on your finger.

“Oh…”

The feeling is odd. It still stings a bit as he’s drinking up from the small cut. But the way your body is reacting to him is odd. The way your breath hitches, the way that despite his cold touch, it suddenly feelings very, very hot.

His nose flares, eyes flicking from yours to the way your legs tighten together. Yeosang’s gaze moves back to yours. He pulls your finger out of his mouth, breaths heavily.

“Pretty,” his voice is hoarse, hands gripping the counter in front of him. “Remember what I said earlier, about wanting you?”

You’re too overwhelmed with what just happened to utter an answer, so you nod in response. He nods along with you. You gasp when a loud crunch echoes around the kitchen. The counter he was touching falls to pieces underneath his grip, his chest rising and falling quickly.

“Can I have you?” The need dripping from each word of his isn’t unknown to you.

The situation is strange. His eyes flicking over your body, glancing at your finger often. The way his lips are stained with you, painting him red. You should be freaking out, you should be running away from this. He moves closer to you this time, waiting for a word of protest from you. His hands grip your thighs, lifting you with ease onto the counter. He reaches around you, turning off the stove. He rests his head against your arm, humming.

Yeosang looks up at you, brows furrowed. “Please,” the word drips from his lips, hands gripping your hips. “Please let me have you. Please use me.” He’s begging, hands sliding from your hips to your thighs, squeezing once. He licks your lips once, pressing his against the corner of them. “Say something pretty.”

This isn’t right. You shouldn’t be doing this. You were supposed to be making hot chocolate. But as he stares up at you, eyes needy. Your gaze moves to his lips. You lean forward a fraction, hesitating. You shouldn’t. You can’t.

Your hands reach up, fingers tugging the back of his hair as you pull him forward into you, a small kiss pressed against his lips. Everything about him is cold, yet his lips are soft, molding into yours easily. Hands moving back to your waste. He pulls away in an instant and you panic in that second, until he grabs your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he whispers against your lips, kissing the curve of your chin.

“It’s not right,” you respond back. He pulls you off the counter, your legs wrapping around his waist. “Should we stop?” You say through a breath, the grip his arms on you only making you more aroused. His arms only squeeze you tighter, a low moan spilling out of you.

“Fuck no.”

tags: @revehosh @mrcarrots @belletiny @sansblkgirlfriend @hwadump @honeyedtalisman @atzcoke @glitterhongjoong @whatudowhennooneseesyou @marievllr-abg @arkive78 @dysftopia @kpopnightingale @wxnderingthoughts @jenniee-tm @hongshines @atinytease @multidreams-and-desires @yla-aira @wommypeaches @avantalem @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @toxicccred @xciiiomwliah @madelinelina @kirooz

#fic: clair de lune #ot8 x reader #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader

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brokenlez · 3 months

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Oh boy, so I should probably post here. Here's how my year has been.

So back in late February, my ex girlfriend started getting suspicious about my tumblr activities. She used to follow my main blog and she started noticing discrepancies. One time I accidentally posted an OP post to my main and had to delete it, but she ended up seeing it and I had to play it off. Stuff started building up and in late early March she confronted me about everything. She sat me down and told me I needed to tell her the truth or we were done.

So I did. I came clean about everything. I told her about the tumblr and the pictures and everything. I even told her about the guy I was texting. For those of you who wanted me to get my comeuppance, I did. She barely said anything to me. She just packed her things and left. We haven't spoken since aside from a few texts to come get stuff she left here.

So that was March. What have I been doing since? Well, to be honest, not much. I've been in somewhat of a depressive hole. I planned on marrying her one day. We had plans and we talked about our dream house and stuff. I fucked all of that up. My chronic pain also got a lot worse, so my pain level when things were bad has become my new normal and when things are bad now, they're worse. I'm looking into surgical solutions now, but I'm not hopeful. The past year has been really fucking rough. I don't want to get too graphic on a hot sexy kink blog but I got VERY low. Thankfully, I made it out of that. I'm trying to do better and pull myself together. My wakeup call was spending Christmas alone and realizing the day after I hadn't eaten in three days.

So what now:

Okay so I'm not actually entirely sure what I'm gonna do yet. I want to bring this blog back and talk to you guys because weirdly enough, this blog made me really happy! The problem is that it also fills me with this pit of dread, like "this is the thing that ruined your life". So I'm not really sure where to go with that. I'm writing this at 5am when I couldn't sleep, so take that how you will. Honestly, I think I want to try this again. This blog brought me so much joy (and a LOT of orgasms) and the feeling when I actually thought I was going to meet one of you drove me fucking crazy. I was cumming like 2-3 times a day because it fucked with my head so bad. I want that again! I loved it!

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm putting myself on a trial period. If things go well and my mental health doesn't tank again, we'll see about staying and maybe trying to reach out to one of you again, but until then, we're gonna take it slow. Feel free to send me messages and pictures and stuff! Sorry for the hiatus!

#orientation play #dykebreaking #lgetsd

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timberoon · 2 months

Text

Tuco Salamanca X Y/n (PART 2)

'JEALOUSY // NSFW'

THIS STORY WILL INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING:

-may not follow the plot for Bcs

- nsfw/fluff

-(Fem reader)

"Don't read if your a sensitive fuck"

Enjoy 😋

You wake up,well you were already awake when rising up at 5am when the sun began to shine through your bedroom window apartment, you couldn't sleep a wink that night, that night you were begging that all of last night was a dream and that didn't happen, during that night,, you called and called, no answer from Domingo,, having to quit your job last minute..You were foundering all night even such as throwing up to not experience todays monumental events...

Part 2 (support for more!) ♥️

After being exhausted of just worrying all day and night,, you finally got yourself together, you went to make one of the strongest coffee you ever had because you thought maybe you would of needed it for today.

Y/n entered the kitchen from now exiting your bedroom. You walk over and...Your heart stirred, sending an eerie feeling to your stomach making you almost break out to tears over a single sheet of paper..

A single sheet off paper on your kitchen counter that says "El Michoacáno. At 1pm .."

You were up all night and HEARD NOTHING. How?? When?? maybe you should tell someone..No you can't! You would get ...You are now involved.

12:20am y/n preparing to brace yourself and mentally preparing herself. Your mind about to erupt from all of the stress from one day. You tried to call Domingo again, again, again and again...No answer.

"FUCK!" You gave up it's almost time and you should probably get there early to not piss him off..

Y/n got up and wore dark blue jeans and a white tank top, nothing too much for something involving drugs. By now it's 12:40am getting ready with your hair down and everything, you looked good..way too good..

You were gonna be late,,you got into your car and drove there in a hurry, probably going over the speed limit but you were deemed that you would make it on time.

1:03pm

You got there,,you wouldn't of ever expected that this little Mexican shop was involved with drugs. you checked your time and you saw that you were 3 minutes late, you thought to yourself even if your gonna die today, no one would ever care so what was the point. You got brought over a small notebook and a pen if he wanted you to do some kind of job. When arriving there you pulled up to the restaurant and to be expected, there he was,, there, leaning against the windows that lay across the restaurant, him whom you don't know the name of smoking a cigarette, honestly you found that kinda hot,, seeing the colour he was wearing capturing your eye suited his quite well.

Parking in the parking lot across from his car you noticed it was his ,the only car there,, both of you guys made eye contact, making him taking a last puff of the cigarette and stubbing it against the ground. You exited from the car and now in hand your small notebook and pen walking towards him.

He blew the remaining smoke from the cigarette in your face when you winced "Cough,Cough".

"Your late." he said in annoyance looking at you digging his dark brown eyes into you.

"Yeah, s-sorry there was traffic" you weren't lying the traffic was pretty heavy, you said this all whilst your anxiety started to build up clenching onto the notebook you brought.

He just stared blanky at you, you predicted he did this to detect if you are lying or not, in silence, his gaze shifted to the notebook you were holding, He snatched it from your hands and went through it, you stood there in awkwardness.

"What the fuck is this!" He said going through the pages.

"it's my notebook..I thought maybe I would need it if I'm being an accountant.." you questioned yourself.

He walked over to the bin beside him and threw it in there, you were angry but you knew you couldn't do anything to stop him.

"You won't need any of that sissy shit! you count the money and total it."

His gaze struck back at you,, getting closer to your face.

"Don't fuck this up."

You nodded..

His words replayed in your head over and over again, he walked in first, making you follow behind him, opening the door to the sound of ringing bells, the ringing echoed in your ears.

You looked around, it looked empty no one there but a cook which looked warned by the entrance of me and him. He took the first seat and you stood in question wondering were your supposed to go..?

"Sit." He said keeping his eye on you.

You took the seat he told you to go on, you and your thoughts alone wondering how this day will go on, you and your thoughts snap to the sound of his voice again.

"I give you the money, you count it ,put it in the bag besides you, easy." giving you insurance he said.

Saying this, the first guy walks in, turning your bosses stare to a tall covered guy in tattoos, pants to his waist, you get the idea. He seemed like he knew what to do, he sat down across from us in a slouching position getting the money from his pocket and passing it on to your now boss.

which then he passes to you, keeping his glare onto the guy,

You stumble to get off the rubber band off the vast sum of money in your hands , you swallow the lump in your throat and count the money.

Interrupting you when counting making you look up to the direction of the sound.

"It's all there" the all tattoo man said giving a nodd to your boss.

"let . Her . Count." Your partner said to the man giving him a burning eyes to not disturb you. The man looked you up and down, you could tell he was blaming you for getting shouted at.

You turned your attention back onto the money you have in your hands,, counting it"£2,000" You said whilst putting back the rubber band around the vast of money and tossing it in the bag besides you.

Even though you've done your job, your partner hasn't, he keeps his gaze onto the man until the man gets up from his chair to face both of us.

"Tuco" the tattoo man nods at him to show respect "miss" he nods at you too and ran out of that restaurant. You felt superior..It felt good to be respected, but that was the lease of your concerns, your boss names is actually Tuco..you didn't expect Tuco to be his name. But it worked, you loved the name Tuco, it rolled on the tongue. After that tattoo guy left you sneaked a peak at 'Tuco' You thought maybe he wasn't so bad..He never actually physically hurt you so you thought maybe it would be okay to stay like this for a bit..

------------------------------------------------------------

After meeting with alot of people and counting the sum of money,, you could feel the tension slowly rise low between you and Tuco, you felt like you were protected, like you were under his devil wings.But now its 8pm of meeting with his men, you were exhausted because you didn't get any sleep today,, watching Tuco work and how intense he can make a person feel actually fascinated you. But now it time to end the day, you got up from your chair and grabbed the bag besides you and zipped it up.

Tuco still in his seat, "What's the total" he said in a calm voice also getting up from his chair. Of course you were keeping up, you couldn't disappoint him on the first day.

"£413,000" You said with a relief, this is more you would make form a year from your previous job, it felt good saying that number, the sudden thrush of doing criminal activities felt good to you, like a break of routine for once.

Tuco takes the bag and carried it by hand, you tuck in your chair and follow him out, just about to get the keys from your pocket he says "You better be fucking right about the sum, because I'm checking it tonight" He said to you turning his back to face his car then to face you again standing there hopelessly "Same time tomorrow" Tuco said giving you chills to the thought.

And he drove off, you watched him leave, your belief in him died after he spoke thoes words yo, started to re-think if you actually did count the money right. You dove home that day and went straight to sleep not even to take a shower or anything, you were so tired you just needed a rest from everyone.

---

The next day you woke up at about 10am you were exhausted, you needed that sleep after last nights work at the restaurant, now that you know how's the day gonna run out, you were totally ready for it, and got ready today with your hair down and wearing short denim shorts which did show a little ass, but it was way too fucking hot working in that restaurant, and wore your white tank top,, and made your way to the restaurant, seeing as there was no 'paper with a note' you suggest you were right about the total of the money last night.

You made your way to the restaurant, you see there was no Tuco waiting for you on the window, you felt kinda disappointed actually since you actually did make it on time this time. But made you way inside to the restaurant, the bell rang and rang and you turned your attention to a man in red talking to the restaurant cook,buying food, but did not pay. You suggested maybe your second boss..? The man turned around and checked you out,,

"Hello..?" You said to the man wondering if he was gonna say something first. He walked towards you.

"Your 'y/n' right" he raised his eyebrows. You nodded to his question. The man looked confused, "I didn't expect someone like you" he said looking you up and down again. You thought maybe he was expecting a druggy..

He took the first seat first after grabbing his drink he ordered, sat where Tuco is supposed to sit and you follow along. "Tuco isn't in today, so it's just us, you want anything to drink or..?" He said

"no no I'm fine thank you." Humbling yourself you noticed this guy somewhere before, he seemed so relaxed you could feel like you could genuinely have a conversation with him without any crazy outbursts.

"I've met you before, you seem familiar" you pitched to the guy.

"I don't think so." He seems kinda of cautious now seeing that you rembember him from somewhere.

"Oh yeahh, You work in that fabric shop near here right" your brain clicked to that memory of you and Domingo getting you a new installation for the seats,, kind of brought up a bad memorie.

"Oh yeah, Your Domingo's Chick right" he exclaimed, noticing the situation you were in it, he changed his mood. But before that could happen the Jingles of the bell rang, welcoming the first person to walk in to meet with us.

This routine was like yesterday's but without any tension, after the guy left you and your partner would make up random conversation between us and learn more things about each other, like his name Nacho, you guys were getting along.

It's time to pack up now (8pm) you gave him the total amount of the cash, "317,000" he chuckled to you, You looked up to face him and smiled to his contagious laugh, "Your like a human calculator" he said again before crossing his arms "how?" He questioned whilst you were zipping up the bag full of money, you chuckled to his response. "Well it's bec-".

The giggle of the bells rang, you and Nacho both face toward the door to see who would come in at this time of night,, Tuco. He seemed pissed,, high off drugs due to his dilated pupil. His laugh entered the room again his demonic laugh, you looked at Nacho seemed he didn't expect him to show up. "You guys seemed to be having a good time, why isn't anyone laughing anymore?" Tuco sarcastic smile faded to a serious one, You were thinking maybe today is the day you die.. Tuco turned to Nacho and gave him a look he won't forget "Leave." Tuco said to Nacho. Nacho giving you a look then taking his exit.

Tucos attention turned to you, his eyes sawing into you made you back up on the side of the table, Tuco walking towards you, pretty close to your face.

"So, what were you guys talking about." he look inside your eyes, through your soul.

"N-nothing" you replied feeling the fear grow bigger inside of you.

Tuco grabbed you hair with one hand making you face to face with Tuco, You flinched to the feeling of his hands against you,,"Don't fucking lie to me, why are you in a bad mood, did you want Nacho to fuck you or something," He said in a confident tone.

"Are you fucking crazy!" You said to the accusation of something like that. It went silent for a good minute of just intense eye contact. he forcefully gabbed your jaw whilst also holding your hair in place, and out of no where, both of your lips intertwined with each other, your eyes widen to the kiss, you didn't expect such soft lips from Tuco, both of your guys tongues met with each other that night, his grasp of your hair slowly letting go of your hair and placed on the table you where arching into, you were loosing breathe, you started to punch Tucos chest to get him of you, and the kiss broke.

"Tuco!" You were in shock, panting away. You didn't expect something like this from Tuco. He said nothing but just looked like he was hungry for more, you couldn't lie this was pretty fucking hot. He looked at you then took a peak at his jeans which was obvious that he had a boner,, in a soft voice that sounded desperate that you didn't want to do any of this, "Tuco..please" you said to him begging for mercy.

He forcefully man-handled you against the table, you winced to the roughness you were now facing away from him, Tuco against the back of you turned you on, but you knew you were scared, "Tuco.. Somewhere els-" before finishing your sentence his hand forced your head against the table, along with forcefully lifting your hips higher into the air.

The sound of his belt unbuckling sent waves to you brain, His hand running down your back to the waits line of your shorts and unbuttoning them bit by bit, You were exposed, knowing you couldn't do anything, "Joder..hermoso culo" (fuck.. beautiful ass) In his strong Spanish accent, as well as Slapping you ass, you released a scream to the aggressiveness of the slap, pulling your underwear down, he giggled with excitement, his dick slapping against your ass "fucking bitch" he groaned out.

The tip of his penis entering in. You moaned to how unprepared you were, suddenly he fully thirst into you, fully submerged. You muffled your moans with biting onto your hand. "Fuckkk,, Baby relaxed" his hands on your waist pulling you towards him to bring you closer. The feeling of his penis entering awakened you. He started to thrust in and out, you could feel your legs start to weaken. His groans getting louder with each thrust, "Who's my bitch" he said in a panting voice, as you were trying your best to let out your moans saying nothing. He grabbed your hair again, making your arch into his thrusts. And let out the moan you were keeping in, "I said who's my bitch!" Taking a bite of your neck leaving a pretty mark.

"M-me" you said in your stuttering voice, you were close and you could also feel Tuco member grow bigger inside of you, "TUCOO" you screamed his name as he started to quicken up his pace and thrust into you relentlessly, He was close whispering your name "y/n.." in a groan. And before He came he took it out and released himself onto your ass, The room was filled with moans from y/n and Grunts from Tuco.

When Tuco finished he buckled his trousers up and went out for a cigarette. Giving you time to get yourself together. Walking in again Tuco said

"C'mon, I'll take you home." You thought again in such a shaky state you were in you didn't want to drive tonight..You nodded to his response and followed along. The whole ride you fell asleep to the Mexican music playing on the radio.

He dropped you off at your apartment, You were glad you didn't drive because you wouldn't of made it through.."See you next week" he said to you before zooming off. The thought of meeting him again made you feel confused with emotions. But all you needed right now was a shower and some sleep...

[I'm so sorry for how long you guys had to wait for this, but I was pretty busy with my studies, but we made it through!! // Also wanted to say when this gets posted, it will be said 'posted 6 days ago' But that was just my mistake, but was actually posted on the 26/2/24. So YEAH! thank you and please let me know if you want to see more of this, and maybe turn it into a series.]

#bcs #breaking bad #brba #lalo salamanca #nacho varga #tuco salamanca #tuco salamanca x reader #walter white #fanfic #y/n #saul goodman #better call saul #brbabcs

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trash-king18 · 10 months

Text

m pt. 12

more fighting (sorry i feel like they’re always fighting but that’s just their dynamic and i kinda just let the plot flow how i think it would naturally)

pretty sure it counts as spoilers in this one so read accordingly

————

miguel didn’t check on you anymore that week, as far as you knew. it was thursday now, he needed another infusion, but you honestly didn’t even expect him to show up. but you stayed until 6 when he was supposed to come in just incase.

you always did it when most everyone had left, lyla was still the only one who knew the real job you were here for.

as far as everyone else knew you were just a resident biochemist who was using the tech there to work on vaccines for some rare diseases in multiple universes.

but right as you were getting ready to leave you hear the doors slide open.

his face is hard set and he doesn’t say anything so you don’t either. you just open the door to the exam room and he follows you in.

at the very least he doesn’t give you any trouble and you get him set up quickly. you sit down on the stool and look at him, waiting for him to say something. but he just looks straight ahead and projects a screen from his watch and starts working.

you wanted him to look guilty, say sorry, something, but he gives you nothing.

“i’ll be outside working. i’ll be back in to check on you.” your voice is tight. you don’t care if he can hear the tears your holding back in your voice. they’re from anger nothing more.

he doesn’t stop you, or say anything.

you’ve been consistently frustrated with this man since the moment you met him. but this was different. you were angry, and hurt. it was draining.

you pop your head in 15 minutes later, he doesn’t look at you just keeps working. so you shut the door.

you haven’t eaten yet because you were waiting for him so you walk downstairs and grab something quick. you scroll your phone, which somehow still could pull up the news from your universe which you did not understand. you head back up and walk in to find him leaning over the lab table in the front room with the iv line being pulled through the door.

“what are you doing”

when he sees you he tries to step towards you but he stumbles barely catching himself on the table.

you push him back into the exam chair which is not easy because he can’t balance. you check his pupils and realize they’re blown.

“god damn it were you drinking”

“no” he slurs slights

“don’t lie to me”

“maybe a little”

“ay estupido”

you pull the IV from his arm immediately.

“you know you can’t drink with your treatment”

“lo siento cariño, i didn’t mean it”

your voice is still tight.

“don’t apologize to me you’re the one who has to deal with this”

he tries to say something else but you use his watch and call lyla

“heyyy boss. oh y/n is everything ok”

“he got drunk apparently and now he’s acting like..this”

“i see that. what should we do.”

“we need to wait it out, he should be fine by tomorrow morning. but i’ll have to take his vitals make sure everything’s ok”

“sorry boss looks like you’re sleeping right here tonight. should i?

“go ahead”

the restraints that are built into the chair clamp onto his wrists.

he slurs as he tries to move his arms

“heyyy”

“will you keep an eye on him.”

“where are you going”

“home. i can’t deal with this right now. he knows the rules, this is no one’s fault but his”

“mi cariño, don’t go”

lyla clears her throat awkwardly.

“im leaving. lylas going to keep an eye on you tonight. sleep it off and if you’re better in the morning the restraints will come off”

he just gives you drunken puppy dog eyes.

and you scoff and walk out.

“don’t let him leave until i get here to check his levels tomorrow. i’ll come early as possible.”

you get home and slam the door shut. you drop all your things and make a beeline for bed. you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

when you get up for work you rush to shower and eat some cold leftovers in your fridge. it was 5am when you left, you wanted to relieve lyla from watching miguel although part of you wanted to leave him sitting there all day. as you’re headed out the door, you notice the napkin that marcus had written his number on. you weren’t going to, but after this week you weren’t really worried about what miguel had to say and you kind of wanted to talk to someone who was in no way involved with work.

You put the number in your phone and text him

- Todavía esta noche, si estás libre

still around tonight if you’re free

he probably won’t see it for a while so you close it and head for work.

when you walk in lylas still there putting together pieces of some weird contraption in hologram form.

She whispers

“oh good you’re here.”

“did you have any problems last night”

“when he finally calmed down he slept through the night”

“and before that”

“he.. uhm he kept asking for you”

“probably wants to find an excuse to yell and me about this”

“…right. do you need me for anything else”

“no i’ve got him, thank you for staying.”

“no problem hon gave me time to work on my new project”

she disappears and you turn to regard him, still asleep. you needed to a breathalyzer and make sure he was back down before you could do the injection again. you considered trying to do it while he was asleep but you knew it wouldn’t work.

so instead you opt for turning the lights on and yelling his name until he jerks his eyes open.

“oh good you’re up, open please”

you hold it up to his mouth but he doesn’t open he just blinks at you

“you’re tied to a chair. i will pry your mouth open”

he opens his mouth just enough, but with the fangs it’s always hard to get it in

when you read the results, he’s still too high.

“jesus how much did you drink”

“not enough”

“you’re making jokes right now? that was stupid. and dangerous. i don’t need to remind you what happened last time”

he had ended up drunkenly rampaging your lab

his face flashed with guilt

“you’re not drunk anymore so i’m letting you go, but you’ll need to come in and finish your infusion tonight. don’t even think about trying to avoid it i’ve already asked lyla to make sure you do it”

“where will you be”

“not here. i have plans”

you press the button and the restraints come off but you simply walk out of the room.

“wh- plans with who”

he follows you out into the lobby, no one’s there yet

“no es astunto tuyo”

none of your business

“well i’m making it my business ”

“~well~ then that sounds like your problem”

“oh uh huh uh huh does it? well consider this me making it our problem”

“there is no “our problem” because there is no us”

“thats not for you to just decide”

“it was the other night”

“don- you- dont say those things here”

“you started this argument here so we’re having it here”

“you’re the one who turned it into a fight”

“because i’m not going to let your lapse in judgement or weird phase where you try to turn me into what you’ve lost screw up my whole life!”

you snapped.

he stops dead in his tracks. so do you. you surprised yourself, you didn’t even realize you felt that way. you silently curse yourself and turn around but he’s already walking back to shut himself in his office.

you don’t call after him. you just stand there but when you turn back around to get to the food courts but as you do you see a flash of what looks like a little red hat disappear behind the door.

“peter!”

you walk into the food court and see nothing

“peter b i know you’re up there” you gesture to the ceiling without looking up

“…no i’m not”

you look up and see him chasing after mayday whose crawling around the ceiling

“mayday” you call out “hey mija are you having fun”

she babbles at you

“why don’t you crawl on down here and we can play a little game”

she smiled and babbles some more before descending from the ceiling by a single web strand right into your arms. a new trick she’d learned. peter b jumps down after her and you hand him the baby

“what are you doing here it’s not even 6”

“ohh may here kept waking up so i figured i’d take her for a swing, just kinda ended up here”

“you look exhausted”

“so do you, why are you here so early? some super secret science stuff” he offers up helpfully

“it’s ok peter, i know you heard”

“wh- whatttt i don’t- huh? i don’t even know.. what you’re.. talking… about.”

you just look at him

“alright fine i may have heard a little bit of something but no harm no foul my lips are.. sealed.. me and mayday won’t tell a soul right honey?”

she just babbles and starts climbing on his head.

“it’s not what you think”

“i don’t think anything, i didn’t even hear remember?”

“… right” you smile at him greatfully as clueless as he was he was always in your corner where it counted.

you get up to go

“hey y/n?”

“i don’t know what’s going on with you two.. but despite everything he’s lost he’s still spider-man. i mean he might be the grumpiest most unfunny spider-man in the entire multiverse i mean really-“

“peter”

“yeah yep sorry alls i’m trying to say is… no matter what he’s been through, he still wants to fight to protect people ~because~ he cares. deep down, i mean very deep down like mariana trench deep-“

“peter.”

“just don’t write him off too quickly. mj took a chance on me, and now look”

he gestures to their daughter whose shooting webs all over the tables with his arm

“thank you peter.. really”

you kiss him on the cheek and ruffle maydays hair. then you scoop her up.

“alright pequeño, that’s enough for you, why don’t we go learn some new tricks in the training rooms. go home peter, get some more sleep, eat breakfast with your wife not dusty day old food court empanadas.”

“no that’s alright”

“peter b.. go. home. i’ve got this one”

“thank you.

he kisses maydays little nose.

“daddy will be back soon don’t be too much trouble”

you took her to the training room because that way she could climb on anything and everything but you didn’t have to worry about her escaping or the mess.

for a little bit you even tried to get her to practice shooting webs to the ceiling and climbing up which occupied her for all of 60 seconds before she burst out giggling and swinging around in circles instead

“ay dios mío mija eres tan problemático”

you are trouble.

you sigh as you grab her and blow raspberries into her cheeks causing her to burst into laughter

“are you hungry mi amiguita”

my little friend

she nods furiously so you take her back to the food court. it’s past 7 now and you already feel like you’ve worked a whole day.

you grab a bottle that peter kept in a spare fridge in your lab which he didn’t ask to do but you didn’t mind as long as you remembered and didn’t accidentally put samples in there with them.

you heat it up and give it to her but she insists on taking bottles on the ceiling so you hand her off to hobie who had been lounging at a table strumming his guitar.

those two got along all too well.

peter runs in

“mayday! mayday!?”

“relax parker” you point up

and he relaxes

“Y/n how can i ever thank you”

“you don’t have to, i love the little bug”

you head back to the lab to check the samples you had made for the new injections. you glanced up at his office door but you just continued walking.

today was the day you did the first round of testing for the samples to see if they were even usable before you actually tested them out. of course you couldn’t just use them unless he actually needed one but given the events of this morning, you had no doubt you would need them soon. you’re buried in work when you hear a text message notification.

maybe: marcus

Estás de suerte, me bajo a las 4. Reúnete conmigo en nuestro antiguo lugar a las 5?

youre in luck, i get off at 4. meet me at our old spot at 5?

you like the message. you still planned on going but after your talk with peter you were starting to feel guilty about it again.

it’s 415, just enough time to run home and freshen up and pop over to another universe. you’d gotten used to it but sometimes when you were making plans out loud it still struck you how odd it sounded.

you almost considered knocking, just to.. remind him about his treatment but really to see how mad he still was but you decided against it.

45 minutes later you found yourself back home, somewhere you never expected to go again.

“jesus marcus did you have to pick here, i mean.. it’s so high up”

you climbed up to the top of the water tower and sat down with a thud. you never loved heights

“sorry, feeling nostalgic i guess”

“i see that”

he sits down next to you, the suns just started to set.

you talk for a while, what happened after school, your family’s, you tried to steer him from the topic of work as best you could but it didn’t go great.

finally after your quiet for a moment

“so.. miguel.. your ~coworker~?”

“oh uhm yeah i’m sorry about that”

“how long have you two been together”

“what! oh god no we’re not- we aren’t— we just have a complicated work relationship is all.”

“mm complicated enough to follow you from switzerland to check up on you?”

“he- we had a work emergency”

“seemed like you were fighting”

“we disagree on what the best course of action was.”

“well what do you think.”

you fidget trying to find a way to answer without giving anything away

“i think..we need to take a more conservative approach. the.. decision is too risky to make so i don’t want to mess with something where people end up hurt”

“and what did he say”

“i think he wants to just do it anyway, figure it out as we go. it’s stupid right?”

“mmm i don’t know”

“what?”

“you’ve been always been a little too cautious lulu especially when it comes to.. people’s hearts”

you know what he’s trying to say.

“look i wanted to catch up, as friends, see how you were but you’ve clearly got a lot on your mind. more than i can help with”

“i’m sorry”

“it’s ok, todo esta bien. maybe…”

“what”

“when’s the last time you visited him”

“it’s been years”

“he always gave the best advice, im sure he’d be happy to see you”

you don’t answer.

“i’ll see you around y/n, good luck.. with your work thing”

he disappears down the side and leaves you with your thoughts.

an hour later you end up wandering through a park, the park, the one where you always went to visit your brother.

you walk up to a simple flat grey stone.

“hola hermano. it’s been a long time”

you don’t actually talk about what happened you just sit on the ground staring at the stone. thinking about everything going on, and everything that had happened years ago

it’s sunset now, slowly getting dark, normally you’d leave but you couldn’t.

you felt soft footsteps behind you, not heard more like sensed, and you turn around to the last person you expected to see.

Miguel, is leaning against the tree. he still looks upset with you, he won’t meet your gaze, but slightly concerned

“if you’re here to yell at me, save it.”

he doesn’t say anything. you wipe the wetness from your eyes hastily.

“seriously miguel just leave, please”

he steps closer and you try to block him from seeing the stone but he reads it over your head.

Pedro Pardo

1995-2019

he stands still staring at it until he finally realizes why you’re here. who it is. he looks between you and the stone. you’re holding back tears and refuse to look at him.

��just get out of here”

when he speaks he still sounds distant but there’s also concern

“i didn’t know.”

“of course not because i didn’t tell you. please just leave”

he doesn’t move he just keeps looking down at you

you can’t hold the tears anymore “miguel please i know that you’re mad but i am ~asking~ you just this once listen to me. go away”

they stream down your face and you turn your back to him.

he reaches out to touch you but stops himself.

“just.. be safe”

you don’t hear him leave but you can tell when he’s gone.

you hold yourself together best you can until you make the jump back to your apartment but as soon as you step out of the portal into your living room you dissolve into tears on the floor.

————

taglist

@urmotherswhor3 @marcswife21 @l3laze @kirke-is-my-name @rexxesgirl @simp4miguell @urmomisafinewoman @dammittjanet @bluebumbleberry @cheezit-luv3rr

@miggyyyyohara

#across the spiderverse #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x you #miguel x reader #miguel x y/n #spiderman 2099 #atsv #miguel ohara #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara smut #miguel spiderman #miguel o’hara x y/n

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moondvncer · 1 month

Text

I should honestly go and get a shower and wipe my make up off and go to sleep since idk I got less than two hours of sleep last night and tomorrow I'll wake up at 5am again but I'm here like 🧐 scrolling through aemond's tag

#thoughts #― rea's thoughts 💭

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pbandjesse · 5 months

Text

Hello everyone! I hope that you all had a good day today. Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not, the food was very good today.

I actually enjoyed today a lot. There was still some waiting, which I feel frustrated towards still, and I did not sew, but I read a lot and I went on a walk with James and I got to meet a whole bunch of really kind people. It was a very good day.

I slept alright last night. Though I woke up at 1239 very very overheated and had to open the windows. But I was able to sleep easy the rest of the night.

I woke up and hour before my alarm. And just laid there scrolling on my phone and texting happy Thanksgiving to people. My brother has texted me at 5am and wanted to know if we would cross paths when I go up and visit on Saturday. But sadly with his work schedule we may not. I hope to still see him soon.

I would eventually get up and start getting ready for the day. I liked my outfit and felt very cute. I did my makeup a little bigger today and tried to make my hair nice.

While I was putting on my eyeliner James came in to say good morning. It was nice to see their face. They were already working on creating the cranberry and strawberry sauce for the tiramisu. Which smelled very nice.

They offered to make me something for breakfast but I chose to just eat crackers and have a diet soda. Which was good while I was reading.

Which is how I spent most of the day. I read all the way to page 230 of this book. About half way done. And it's great. I have no idea how they will adapt some of the more gruesome parts into the movie. But it's been a very compelling story.

And that's how I spent most of today. Reading. Taking breaks to play with sweetp. Eating crackers and a few orange chocolate truffles. It was honestly just the best way to spend Thanksgiving.

James would join me in reading on the couch and that was nice but eventually they decided they wanted to go for a walk.

At first I said I was not interested. But as they were putting their coat on and I decided I should go. That I would regret not going.

So I got shoes and a jacket and we headed out.

And it was a nice walk. I wore my new clogs, which are not walking shoes but I survived. Even if I was clopping like a horse.

I enjoyed talking with James. Pointing out things we saw. Like the Osage oranges. Which were surprisingly fun to kick. And talking about clothes and it was just really nice. I loved being out with my husband. Who kept telling me how beautiful I was and making me feel very loved.

When we got back I read for another hour or so.

We would also spend some time this afternoon putting up our Christmas decorations! I got a little overwhelmed and James would step in and do a lot of the placing of things. But it was fun still. I arranged the garland on the tree. Took a reading break. James made me a grilled cheese. We kept putting things up and just tried to make it look really festive. So when we did our ceremonial opening of our Christmas egg when we got home tonight it would be really special and kick off the Christmas season.

And at 230 we started cooking my spicy spinach mashed potatoes. James did the majority of the work. They like it so I don't want to take that away from them. And they did a really good job. I helped supervise the amounts because the recipe lives in my heart and I'm just guessing at everything. But in the end it tasted great.

We would start to get ready to leave at 330. I didn't like James shirt tucked into their parts but then they ripped their pants and got very upset. They need all new pants honestly but they don't want to buy things for themselves. I think we should go to the store on Monday and find them a few new pairs. Well see if that happens. They deserve new pants that aren't tearing.

They still looked so cute though and even wore their new work earrings. Which everyone complimented at the Chang's house.

And man was it a party there! I was surprised how many people came! And it was lovely. The house is always beautiful and just the joy and love you could feel in the air was amazing. I loved having conversations about art and pottery for Katie and George. And it was Isaacs 21st birthday! James had chosen one of my prints to give him and I framed that up threw in some of my stickers. Which he lit up over when he opened them. What a sweetheart.

When we got there the car knocked James into me and we almost lost our dishes but thankfully everything was fine. The Fulwilers came not long after us and it was hugs all around. Me and Charlotte were dressed in almost the same thing! Except her dress was cream and she had a while shirt. But almost the same style corduroy dress! I thought this was hilarious.

I would get to meet lots of Katie's friends and family and everyone was just so lovely. I felt very welcomed. Anne even said that I was a great addition to the family and that felt really nice. I love dazzling old people at parties so I talked about my work and art practice. And showed off pictures of the wedding and my art as needed for emphasis. It was a blast honestly.

I are so much bread. Katie always makes beautiful bread. Grace and David are recently engaged so I was excited to see her ring, which is alexandrite. And Grace is so darling and always makes me feel a part of everything. She reminds me of Ellen in the sense that she is just a really really good active listener. And she made some stunning flower arrangements and garlands that were all over the decor for the evening. The space always feels so full but not in a cluttered way. Everything feels a bit like a magazine.

As more people came, so did more food. And it was all so good. There wasn't a ton I could eat but what I did and could was awesome. The salad was very nice. I was all about the stuffing and mashed potatoes we brought. David told us that on Thanksgiving he only eat turkey and mashed potatoes. That's it. And his sister had brought a huge pot of regular mashed potatoes and he talked them up about being the best and I was like. David. I have also brought them! And he of course made a huge fuss about having to try them and said while they were very different, they were also the best and allowed him to have a green vegetable today so I count this as a win.

There was a big toast before everyone ate. About being thankful and love and family but it didn't feel hokey or forced. It felt so authentic. And then it lead right into siting for Issac. Where his siblings announced it was his first drink ever!! Wink wink wink. It was very silly and lovely.

After food and a nice long talk with George about buying houses, me and James went outside to sit around the fire. Which was very fun. There were a few art students out there and some old people who were talking about composting and I was able to talk about the bee hotel and bug snug. I showed them my poster designs and we discussed farming practices and the three sister. Pumpkin, beans, and corn. And how my big snugs will help the bugs that will hopefully help my planting! I got lots of laughs from them and I truly enjoyed the company.

We would go inside when we heard dessert was soon. Everyone was excited to try James's cranberry/strawberry tirimisu. And it was a huge hit. I also loved Anne's apple crumble. I got to try a black walnut pie but the taste it is sickly sweet like the smell so I left that for James to enjoy. More for them in the leftovers too.

Soon though I was feeling very tired. I sat in a bench and let conversation happen around me. James would come and ask me if I was ready to go and I absolutely was.

So we went around giving hugs. Wishing happy Thanksgiving. Got two of our three dishes (leaving the tirimisu so everyone could keep having more) and headed home.

When we got back here we made a big fuss about opening the Christmas egg. James kept chanting. And then it was open and Christmas is here! We had a few Christmas songs. And it was very happy and sweet.

James would lay with me on the couch for a while. Eventually I went to take a shower. And we got ready for bed. A little later for James then normal but that is alright. They have work in the morning though so they need to get some rest.

I have some more work to do from home though. And I hope I can be really productive. I hope you all have a good night's sleep. And take care of yourselves. I love you all. Goodnight!

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sleepy-vix · 7 months

Note

seeing your late night posts about staying up gives me so much nostalgia for the nights when i would stay up until 4 or 5am drawing or chatting with friends. id be doing it now but im in such a huge depression slump that there's nothing to do for that many hours (especially since my qpp is always busy with college stuff) so i end up going to bed at like 9 or 10pm 😔

awww that sounds like such a vibe honestly. sorry for the late reply btw 😭 and honestly same, i do absolutely nothing (nothing meaningful at least) for a whole 6 or so hours or so. im always just switching between apps and social media... i should probably just sleep tbh but oh well, im too comfortable with my routine to switch 😔 hopefully your qpp gets a break from college stuff soon and you can hang out with them again!

#moots

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akuma-homura · 7 months

Text

reflecting on my brothers death rambling

man. I'm listening to Borderline by Tame Impala-- a song I really like, have some muse thoughts for, but also. Repeated on a loop the following day when we found out my brother died.

I. Mm. When it happened I was thinking how I wish I could have talked to him more, interacted more, maybe even shown up on his and moms video chats every now and then. How it had me think of how I wish I was closer to my brothers in general, how I should reach out more.

But I realize more and more that I just don't have it in me. If he hadn't died, things would likely be the same as they were before on my end.

And even thinking now about my remaining brother (somehow only with all of this did I realize he was the middle child lol? it's hard for me to grasp when I'm like 15 years younger than them or so and didn't live with them in the house) I like. I don't actually know how I'd connect. We're family, yes, but. I don't know anything about him. I don't know how much he knows about me.

...I say that because I guess I also just don't have a sense of how people perceive me, the fact that I am perceived-- my late brother apparently talked about I guess what little he'd heard of my projects, how smart I am, ect. (but not smarter than him, of course)

and. That was so bizarre and alien for me to hear. That he actually talked about me. Knew a little bit about what I was up to? How much he loved me.

...shit, I'm tearing up typing all that. Fuck.

I've said it in other ramblings regarding this, but I also just realized I don't know my brothers. Like, as people. I didn't know what my late brother was like, and hearing others talk about him who did know him better...

And I don't actually know much of anything about my remaining brother, either. He's a father. Apparently he has a twitch channel and streams games sometimes. I don't even know what he's doing as a job right now. He's so short?????

I knew my late brother as the nice one, my remaining as the rowdier one. Expected my late brother to be more successful and stable, but the opposite ended up the case.

That's... it.

But even so, even so, even so, the sadness remains. The fact I didn't get to really really know him. The fact he loved me? And I never even-- somehow I just thought he didn't really think about me at all enough to feel anything about me.

We have a picture of him on the wall-- we have an area in the kitchen that's basically become a bit of a memorial area for the people we've lost like... honestly since the start of the new decade. And now he's there, too.

And every time I look. Every time I see. There's still that pang of pain. The emotions swelling up. I'm still sad.

I can deal with it fine and all, but. I dunno. I guess this is the biggest death I've experienced of a human being, and I know grief doesn't go away.

I was already sad thinking about Technoblade's death, I was getting into Generation Loss after the streams were done, I was working on UTAU stuff, and then...

I can't touch the project I was working on with my old UTAU. I try to, but I can't. The emotions come back. The realization that while I was working on it, he was in the hospital, dying. Dead. The exact time I took a small pause, was when he died. When I was finally going to go to sleep at like 5AM, I was laughing to some tiktoks, then heard a sound from my mother, wondered if something happened to our dog rose before thinking something happened to a human person. And then.

And then...

And now I can't touch that cover. I had ideas for it. I had ideas for Heikinne. But now I just...

Hghhhgh. Associations. And not only that, the grief has messed my body up, even though it isn't constant. I can tell I'm physically doing worse off comparatively, when I was already doing badly bc of the stress from the scam in February, on top of what I can only assume is long covid shit on top of my existing issues. Even now. Hell, that's why I haven't streamed as much as I've wanted-- I REALLY wanted to get back to the swing of things in August, but I genuinely wasn't able to. Thinking about it was too taxing. I want to do stuff for spooky month this month, and I hope I can, but I'm also..... unsure if I ultimately will, either.

I dunno.

I do wish he could still be around so I could actually show him what I'm up to. Especially with me actually getting some stuff running.

But it does ultimately want to have me continue to work, regardless. We only have so much time, and I want to be able to get out as much as I can before anything happens, either to me, or to the world.

#[ ;text ]#vent --#grief --#rambling --

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saltymongoose · 2 years

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hey there! saw your post that i got tagged in and lowkey had a heart attack/pos. sorry if im bothering you, im a bit paranoid of tumblr eating my replies and tags again.

i did wanna send the au to you, but i kinda back out because i got some terrible experiences with my past accounts on tumblr (i still haven’t gotten over it despite it being months ago), and i looked up to your madcom self aware brrr-

and also because i thought about sending it to you at 5am, yes i almost pulled an all nighter that day.

but i don’t mind if you happened to reblog one of my posts and share your thoughts! i do appreciate it, and i also understand that you might have thought i might be uncomfortable.

I’m doing fine as of now (minus the sleep deprivation of course), since the anon reached out to you about purgatory mode (im thankful to that anon honestly)

um- cant wait for you to reblog! if you want to of course. im not going to force you.

and also-

i was going to draw smt else but i drew enough today, so i just made a shitpost from my art-

Oh, hello! It's good to see you. :) <3 Don't worry, you aren't bothering me with the ask and reply, I know how tumblr can be when it comes to this stuff lol. I also get why you were hesitant on sending me stuff even if you wanted to, so no worries there either, though I am glad that you're doing well as of right now. ❤

As for reblogs, while I probably won't be doing it to every sam:pn post you do (cause wow, there's a lot and I don't want to sound like a broken record with compliments haha), you should be expecting that to happen pretty soon. ;)

Although, I was also considering just rbing the first fic (or maybe making a post @ing you?) with my thoughts on everything I've read in the series as kind of a full review/official AU recommendation - but I'm not sure if you'd like standard reblogs more, so it's your call, I'm really fine with either. ┐( ︶ ▽ ︶ )┌ The only difference is that it would probably be lengthier this way since I'd be covering more, but I digress.

It's also really sweet of you to say that you look up to me and the original AU, I don't even know what to say, it's just really flattering so thank you so much! Knowing that I've inspired you is enough to make me want to write too haha. I hope you enjoy your time with the AU and Madcom, and I'm glad the community here has been welcoming to you. Congrats on 200 followers! 🎉💖🎊❤️🎉💝🎊

#P.S. I love the little drawing. It's very cute.#oh also just a note for everyone: I am *very* busy right now with work but after tomorrow I'll be back to posting things like usual :)#ty for your patience <3 #ask #dallyfae #chat tag #(And to down-astronomical (<3) just wanted to let you know that I got both art pieces from you just fine #Ik you didn't ask but with how weird tumblr is I figured it'd be best to notify you lol)

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