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justagalwhowrites · 4 months

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Holly Jolly - Ch. 3: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Joel and Sarah celebrate the holiday with you and Sharon. The final chapter of Holly Jolly, a modern no-outbreak TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: None really!

Length: 4.8k

AO3 | Main Master List | First Chapter | Previous Chapter

“You think this is the way to go?” Joel asked, looking at the drawing in his hand as he sat on a video call with you in the middle of a Home Depot.

“Yup,” you said, glancing back to the living room to see Sarah and Sharon deep in some adventure with Sharon’s Star Wars action figures. There were active blaster noises followed by a very dramatic sounding explosion. They were pretty occupied as you stood in the kitchen, leaning against your counter, waiting for the oven timer to ding. “I think if you go totally in this direction and just build something that’s perfect for the arbiesbay and how she plays with them, it’s even better than a reamday ousehay.”

Joel was quiet for a second.

“Did you just speak pig latin?”

“You try hiding things from the irlsgay without switching languages,” you replied.

Joel snorted.

“Alright, well, just tell me what you think of these paint colors,” he said. “You’re the one with the vision.”

Something smacked into the wall with a thud in the living room and you looked up from your phone. The shoebox the girls had been using for a space ship was across the room.

“Hey,” you said. “Let’s not throw things, OK? If we throw things that means we can’t play with them anymore.”

“But how is it supposed fly?” Sharon groaned.

“Pretend,” you said. “Not by hurling it.”

“Fine,” she huffed before getting up and getting the box, running it back across the room and bringing it in for a landing with a dramatic, explosive sound.

You laughed and sighed, looking at the mess of dolls and Legos scattered all over the floor after a few hours of the girls playing together.

“I need to get a toy box for the living room,” you said. “This is getting out of hand. Alright, let’s see the paints.”

Joel held up three samples of pink.

“Um…” you squinted at the screen. “Middle one, I think.”

“I was thinkin’ that too,” he said. “Looks closest to the box color for the arbiebay I already got her.”

“Was that pig latin?”

“Utshay upyay. What about this one?”

He held up a few purples as you giggled.

“First one,” you said. “That will play best with the first one we picked.”

“Right,” he said. “Alright, just need two more…”

He held up a few options for the white and then a few for a green.

“OK,” he said. “Think that’s everything… Thanks again for your help on this, I really don’t know what the uckfay I’m doing with this.”

You had to fight to not snort laugh at fuck in pig latin.

“Any time,” you said as the oven dinged. “And I need to go pull out gingerbread. See you soon?”

“Yup,” he said. “Just gotta check out here, pick up pizza and headed your way after.”

“Oundssay Oodgay.”

Joel laughed.

“Ebyay.”

You pulled the gingerbread out and set it aside to cool and just watched the girls playing from the living room.

Considering that you’d never met Joel and Sarah Miller before Thursday night, you were suddenly spending a lot of time with them. You and Joel had lunch together while Christmas shopping and you were surprised to learn that you got along better than you thought you would. Joel was oddly funny in a dry, clever way, every teasing moment and wry one liner feeling like an inside joke even though you’d only known each other a few days. You had the same concerns about raising girls as single parents, especially as young single parents who still felt a lot like kids yourselves. He was almost strangely insightful for a man, especially one who was damn near a perfect stranger. He seemed to understand the meaning behind your hesitant pauses or why you chose the words you did. Communicating with him was so straightforward and easy going, unlike anything you’d ever really experienced with someone so quickly before. You really liked Joel and Sharon adored his daughter. You really hoped you could help give them a great Christmas. They deserved it.

You’d drawn up a plan for the Dream House on Sunday night, going in a different direction than just trying to recreate what was on the shelf at the store.

Instead, you’d made a Barbie-fied version of Joel and Sarah’s house. You’d found their house on Google Maps - it felt a little too weird to look it up on Zillow - and took a guess at the layout based on what you’d seen on the inside and what the footprint of the house was from above.

Joel had stopped by your apartment Monday after work to pick up the plans and you stepped into the breezeway outside your door, leaving Sharon watching a cartoon in the living room.

“I hope it’s not too weird,” you bit your lip as you handed the blue prints over. “If it is, I can redo it tonight and I don’t think it’ll put you too far behind…”

He took the pages and frowned as he flipped through them. Your heart sank for a moment.

“Is this… our house?” He asked, looking up from the papers to look at you.

“Yeah,” you said. “I thought… since, you know, you just bought it and you bought it to give Sarah a better life, that kind of makes it a dream house, right? And I thought she might like to have her Barbies in a house that was like hers… I’m sorry, I over stepped, that’s not…”

“This is amazing,” he said, looking back down at the plans. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

You smiled, shoving your hands in the back pockets of your jeans.

“Yeah. I think so, anyway. I would have, when I was her age. I think she will, too.”

Even though you’d just seen him three days in a row, you were looking forward to spending the evening with him tonight, too. You had the supplies for making peanut butter cookies set out - as well as the peppermint bark shortbread you’d made every year since you were 20 and looking for something simple to make in your first apartment kitchen - and Joel was coming over to bake with you and the girls.

You had a little surprise for him, too. When he’d first dropped Sarah off that afternoon, you’d gotten the girls to help make some Christmas decorations he could bring home with him. Paper chains and cut out snowflakes and Christmas trees made out of plastic spoons. Once the girls got bored you let them loose on the toys and told Sharon to bring the adventure to the living room so you could keep an eye on them as you made gingerbread. They were having a blast and you now had enough gingerbread to build a small village of houses, plus a small box of homemade decor to give to Joel. You just hoped he liked it.

The girls were so involved with whatever they were playing - lightsabers were out now and Sharon was standing on the couch - that they barely noticed when he got there with an armload of pizza.

“OK definitely feelin’ like I got off pretty easy in this deal,” he said, setting the pizza down on your breakfast bar.

“It’s fine,” you waved him off. “My downstairs neighbors work in the afternoon and evening so they’re not bothering anyone. And they’ve stayed out of my way so it’s been no trouble, truly.”

“Daddy!” Sarah yelped, dropping the lightsaber and running for him, leaping into his arms like she hadn’t seen him in weeks, instead of just a few hours. “We made stuff and played Barbies and now we’re playing wars…”

“Star Wars,” Sharon corrected, jumping off the couch and stumbling forward as she landed. “It’s so cool, it’s this real old movie…”

“Alright,” Joel cut them off. “I’ll stop ya there, I remember when some of those came out, don’t need you saying they’re that old…” He set Sarah down and turned to you. “Didn’t take you for a Star Wars fan.”

You shrugged.

“Gotta introduce the kid to classic film.”

“Oh lord,” he rolled his eyes and laughed. “Think you’re the same age as me, better watch what you say about classic film…”

You got the girls to sit still long enough to plow through the better part of a cheese pizza and some carrot sticks while you and Joel split a supreme, sitting so close to each other that your knees brushed below the table.

The first time it happened, you jerked your leg away on instinct but Joel didn’t react. So you let your leg relax a little and, bit by bit, your knee drifted until it was against his thigh and your heart was in your throat.

After dinner, you pulled two chairs into the kitchen for the girls to stand on and you supervised as they combined the ingredients for peanut butter blossoms, their little faces getting covered in a dusting of flour and a smear of peanut butter ending up in the middle of Sharon’s shirt. They gleefully rolled the balls of dough in sugar and you handled putting the Hershey kisses in the middle of each one as the cookies neared the end of baking as Joel helped the girls secure the structure of their gingerbread houses.

“This much frosting seems dangerous,” Joel said after you’d joined them back at the table, cookies cooling on their racks on your packed counter.

“Oh, it is,” you said before you put your tongue between your teeth to concentrate on adding a small chimney to your house. “This is why we do it at the end, so you can get one sugar addled child and I get the other and I’m not wrangling both of them.”

He laughed a little, adding a Twizzler window frame.

“Daddy?” Sarah looked up from her sagging house. “It’s not staying up.”

“One sec Baby Girl…” He got up and went around to help her and you watched as he carefully adjusted the roof and added a little support beam. “See, that’ll help distribute the weight better, makes it more secure. Make sense?”

“I think so,” she said. “Can I add more M&Ms now?”

“Yeah, you can add more M&Ms,” he laughed a little before sitting back next to you. You let your knee drift to his thigh again.

He looked at you for a second, a soft look in his eyes, and you thought about taking your leg back but you didn’t.

“In case I haven’t said it,” he said. “Thank you for just… everything you’ve been doin’. Sarah’s been so happy this last week and I know you and Sharon got a lot to do with that. I’m real glad Sarah met her.”

You smiled a little.

“I am, too.”

Joel took a deep breath.

“And I’m real glad I met you, too.”

Your heart picked up.

“Yeah?”

You leaned in a little closer to him.

“Yeah.”

“Aunt Cocoa, look!” Sharon piped up from across the table and you turned away from Joel to look at her gingerbread house that was dripping frosting and sprinkles.

“That’s amazing!” You said. “You’re doing a great job girlie pop, definitely better than mine.”

When the houses were done, you and Sharon helped carry everything down to Joel’s truck, including the box of decorations. He frowned at it when you handed it to him to put in the cab.

“What’s this?”

“Just… open it when you get home,” you smiled. “Let me know what you think.”

He lifted Sarah into her carseat and buckled her in before closing the door and turning to you.

“So, I was thinkin’,” he said. “My brother was supposed to host Christmas dinner but now he’s going to some girlfriend’s place and it doesn’t sound like you’ll have anywhere to be… would you two want to come over? Don’t have to if it’s weird, I know we just met but…”

“I’d love that,” you cut him off, smiling. “Just let me know what I can bring? Or I can volunteer a dessert…”

“Dessert is great,” he said. “Just… mostly just want you there.”

You smiled bigger.

“Then I’ll be there.”

He smiled, making his cheek dimple.

“Good,” he said. “Can’t wait.”

***

Joel sent you one final picture of the dream house.

Think it’s done.

He half expected you not to respond. It was after midnight, officially Christmas Day. By all rights, you should be asleep.

You texted back anyway.

That’s perfect! Sarah will LOVE it.

Joel smiled at his phone like a damn idiot and scrolled through the messages the two of you had sent each other in the short time that he’d known you. There were the pictures he’d sent of his living room after he put up the decorations you and the girls had made him, pictures you’d sent of the gingerbread houses on your breakfast bar as you documented evidence of Sharon slowly sneaking pieces off of them, pictures he’d sent of the progress he made on the dream house.

He clicked on your contact photo and made it fill his screen, the selfie you’d sent him the first night he’d met you. He smiled a little. He couldn’t help it.

You were so pretty he wondered how he didn’t see it at first, even with the ridiculous sweater and the antlers. He must have been in a real shit mood to have not noticed because, over the last few days, he found himself pulling the picture up again and again just to look at you.

He did it when he had a break at work and was checking his phone for other messages. He did it when he was waiting for Sarah to finish breakfast as she dawdled before school. Most often, though, he did it just before he fell asleep when he felt oddly lonely and wished you were there.

It was a strange thought for him. He hadn’t really been with anyone since Sarah’s mom. There just hadn’t been time, he was too busy with work and his daughter, and he’d never longed for someone he’d never even kissed before. At least, not since he was a fucking teenager.

But he wanted to be next to you. He damn near melted the first time your knee had brushed his thigh, had to fight the urge to put his hand over that knee, trail his fingers along the inside of your thigh. And fuck, had he wanted to kiss you. You were so close and you smelled like vanilla and sugar and he knew - he just knew - that your lips would be soft and sweet.

He’d only seen you two days since then - plenty, considering you just met, but it felt like so little. Once, when the two of you had taken the girls Christmas shopping and traded kids so they could get something for each of you, and another time when you’d taken the girls to the playground together. The two of you had tried to sit on a bench and watch them play but the girls weren’t satisfied, pulling you and Joel up to play freeze tag.

Joel was looking forward to Christmas now. He’d actually been able to get Sarah what she wanted - or hoped she wanted, anyway - and he was getting to see you. He wasn’t entirely sure how but he’d gone from a man who was all but dreading the holiday to one who was almost as excited as his daughter for the day to come.

You sent him a picture of a Millennium Falcon set up for Sharon under the tree. Joel laughed a little and smiled.

She’s going to love it.

You followed it up with a picture of a sticker sheet.

She might like this more, who knows.

He wondered if it would be weird to ask you for a selfie. Probably. Still, he considered it. But he just texted, instead.

You did a great job. Really.

Why are you still up? You should go to bed, Joel. Santa can’t come if you’re still awake.

He tried to picture you saying it, the serious look you’d try to keep on your face as your lips curved up at the edges.

I will if you will.

Alright, you convinced me! See you tomorrow.

You sent a little heart after your last message and Joel tried to not read into it as he went to bed and pulled up your picture one more time, just to look at you, drifting off wondering how you’d feel curled up next to him.

Sarah tackled him at 6:17 a.m.

“Daddy!” She shook his whole body. “Daddy, wake up, I think Santa came! Daddy, get up!”

“Alright, Baby Girl,” he groaned, blinking the sleep from his eyes. “M’awake, gimme a minute, we’ll go see if Santa came…”

He shook his head a little as he sat up, his hair falling over his forehead, and he got a shirt from his dresser before pulling up the camera on his phone.

“Alright Kiddo,” he said. “You stay right here at the top of the stairs for just a minute so I can get you on video…”

He went into the living room and turned on the lights, the paper chains you’d made with the girls dangling cheerfully from the doorways.

“Alright,” he said, starting recording, suddenly nervous about Sarah seeing the homemade dream house. What if she hated it? This might be the first Christmas she really remembered, what if he ruined it? “Come on down, Baby Girl.”

Sarah thundered down the stairs and into the living room, her curls bouncing as she ran. Her eyes went wide and her mouth made a small “o” when she saw the house sitting next to the tree. She ran over to it and dropped to her knees beside it, a Barbie and a Ken standing in the kitchen, ready for her to play with.

“Daddy!” She gaped at him, a look of awe on her face. “Daddy, that’s our house! That’s our house but Barbie!”

“Is it?” He asked.

“Yeah!” She said. “See, that’s the kitchen and we’re in here in the living room…”

“Do you like it?” He asked, hoping he didn’t sound too hesitant.

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever seen!” She looked back to the house. “Barbie has a house like us!”

“Yeah,” Joel said, trying not to tear up. “Yeah, she does.”

It took Sarah a while to even want to move on to her stocking - loaded with candy - and the gifts under the tree. Joel had never been happier to see Sarah happy and it tugged at his heart knowing that he couldn’t have done it without you.

There were two things under the tree for Joel from Sarah, one that she let him have then and one that she insisted on waiting for you to be there for.

The first one was half of a butterfly best friend necklace and he frowned a little at it.

“Hold on!” She scampered off to her room for a moment before she came running back, flopping on Joel’s lap as he sat cross legged next to the tree. She held up the other side. “See? So when you go to work you can remember me!”

There was the burning pinch of tears in his eyes when he pulled her in to kiss her cheek.

“I always remember you, Baby Girl,” he said, voice wet. “But I love it so so much, thank you.”

He put it on, the chain much shorter around his thick neck than it was around her little one. She giggled and put her half of the butterfly against his before going back to playing with the Barbies.

Joel had to pull himself away from watching her play to get dressed and make breakfast before making her get dressed, too, and then handling all the holiday things that needed doing before you arrived.

He was putting the ham in the oven when the doorbell rang and Sarah shrieked before running for the door, Joel only catching a glimpse of a red dress as he ducked back below the paper chain between the kitchen and the living room.

“I saved it just for you,” Sarah said conspiratorially as he made it to the door. You smiled at Joel over his head. “I wanted you to see, too!”

“That was very sweet,” you smiled at her. “Have you had a good Christmas?”

“The best,” she said. “Santa made a dream house just for me!”

“He did?” Sharon’s mouth dropped open. “That’s so cool! I brought a Barbie, can she come over and see it?”

“Yeah!” Sarah took her hand and the two girls tore into the living room, almost running into Joel on their way past.

“Hey,” you smiled, your eyes bright and beautiful, in a green sweater that was so far from the one he’d first seen you in. This one was a dress that clung to your frame, hugging all the parts of you he’d thought about far too much. You moved to hug him, a little awkwardly with a pie plate in your hands, but he didn’t care. He was just happy for the excuse to touch you, hoped you wouldn’t hear his heart pounding in his green flannel shirt.

“Hey,” he smiled as he gave you a squeeze.

“Told you she’d love it,” you whispered before you pulled back, giving him a wink.

The two of you went to the living room and watched the girls play, your legging clad legs brushing against him and he wondered if you even noticed, if it was all just an accident or if you were as aware of every time you touched like he was.

“Oh, Dad, I have one more for you!” Sarah went and got the other small box from under the tree. “Miss Cocoa helped me pick it. And helped me buy it because it was more money than you gave me.”

“You didn’t need to do that,” he frowned at you.

You just waved him off.

“I had coupons,” you said. “And Kohl’s Cash. And then it was only like $15 more dollars. Nothing crazy.”

He unwrapped the box and opened it. Inside was a watch with a black face, green band and a metal case, one that would actually hold up to his job.

“I wanted to get you the pink one,” Sarah said. “But she said she didn’t think it would fit you.”

“Yeah, your dad is a big guy,” Joel could hear you smiling. “That pink watch looked a little small. I think this one will work better.”

“Try it on!” Sarah said, bouncing a little beside him. “I wanna see!”

“Alright,” he said, taking off his old watch that had seen far better days and sliding on the new one. He turned his wrist in the light, admiring it. “It’s perfect, Baby Girl.”

“You like it?” Sarah asked, her eyes wide.

“I love it,” he said, pulling her in to kiss her on the cheek. “Thank you so much.”

She clapped before going back to playing with Sharon.

You were looking at his wrist, a small smile on your face.

“Really shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “It really is perfect, but…”

You smiled bigger.

“She was just so excited about it,” you said. “I couldn’t resist.”

“Well,” Joel said. “I do have somethin’ for you, too.”

“Yeah?” You asked brows raised.

He stood up from the couch, holding his hand out for yours. You took it and he tugged you to your feet.

“You two behave yourselves for just a minute,” Joel said. “We’ll be right back.”

They didn’t even seem to notice, too busy moving the barbies through the house.

“C’mon,” he said, still holding your hand and guiding you toward the garage. “Now if you don’t like it, I can redo it…”

He led you to his garage workshop and turned on the lights, your gift sitting under a sheet on his workbench.

“Couldn’t really wrap it,” he nodded to it. “But it’s under there.”

“I can just…” You raised your eyebrows at him and he laughed a little.

“Yeah, go for it.”

You made an excited little sound before pulling back the sheet. You gasped at it and Joel smiled as you went to run your hands over the sides.

“This is gorgeous!” You said, looking from it to him. “What is it?”

“Well,” he said, coming and standing so close to you that he could feel you breathing. You smelled like sugar and cinnamon and clove. “When we were on the phone while I was at Home Depot the other day, you mentioned needing a toy box for your living room. Seemed like you care about things like your furniture and things so I wanted to make you one that looked like it’d be your style. It opens at the top…” He demonstrated, lifting the lid. “Put some bumpers on the lid, too, so if Sharon throws it around it won’t hurt anything… top can be a bench if you wanted, too, you got all those nice pillows on your couch and stuff… Anyway, like I said, I can change it if you don’t…”

You turned and threw your arms around his neck, pressing your warm, soft body against him. He hesitated for a moment before he hugged you back, his fingertips gripping you tight.

“I love it,” your voice was muffled by his shirt before you pulled back from him just enough to look at his face. “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me, where did you find the time?”

“I ain’t slept much this week,” he laughed a little. “But that’s OK. It’s… it’s worth it. You’re worth it.”

You looked up at him, your eyes wide and warm and soft and all he wanted to do was kiss you. Joel thought it might be the only thing he ever wanted to do.

“Joel,” you breathed, pressing yourself a little closer to him.

“Is it OK if I kiss you now?” He asked softly, one of his hands slipping from your waist to gently hold your face. “Because damn, do I want to kiss you.”

You nodded eagerly and he tightened his hold on you, tilting your head just so to press his lips to yours.

You felt just like he thought you would but somehow so much better, your mouth so soft and warm against him, the taste of mint on your tongue. Your lips fit on his own the way that no one else’s ever had, he’d never kissed anyone and felt this desperate to keep kissing them, keep doing just about anything with them.

Eventually, you pulled back from him, breathless, and trailed your fingers through his hair. He smiled a little at you, panting a bit himself.

“Think we can get a babysitter and go out sometime?” He asked. “Just the two of us?”

“Yeah,” you laughed a little. “Yeah, I think we can.”

The two of you went back in the house, holding hands as you sat watching the girls play, giggling and chattering back and forth like they’d known each other for years. But Joel understood that now. He’d never seen Sarah latch on to anyone so fast but then, he’d never had feelings like this for someone so fast, either.

At dinner, he sat next to you, all four of you laughing, Christmas music on the background. When your knee came to rest against his leg, his hand slipped below the table and cupped your knee, his thumb stroking your thigh. You looked at him and smiled a little before your hand drifted below the table, too, giving his leg a squeeze.

When the girls wore themselves out, he left Sarah asleep on the couch, The Grinch on in the background, before he loaded the toy box into your trunk and then carried Sharon out, lowering her gently into her carseat. You buckled her in as she sleepily clutched her Barbie in one chubby hand and her Princess Leia action figure in the other.

“Thanks for comin’,” Joel said, stepping close to you. “And for everything you did for me and for Sarah the last few weeks.”

You smiled, leaning back against your car and tugging Joel against you, he smiled and laughed a little.

“I was happy to,” you said, eyes shining in the moonlight. “So what do you think? Good Christmas?”

He searched your eyes for a moment and slowly leaned in to kiss you again. Your smile broadened and you met him halfway, your fingers knotting in his shirt as you held him against you.

“Yeah,” he said, pulling just far enough away from you that he could look in your eyes again. “Best Christmas ever.”

A/N: Thanks for reading this little holiday fic! I hope you enjoyed it, even though it went up a few days later than I'd really hoped.

Wishing you a beautiful holiday season with lots of love and laughter. Thank you for being here and spending some of it with me ❤️

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #holly jolly

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justagalwhowrites · 4 months

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Holly Jolly - Ch. 1: Jolly Old St. Nicholas

Joel takes Sarah to meet Santa and meets an overly friendly stranger in line. Chapter one of Holly Jolly, a modern no-outbreak AU TLOU fic.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: None really!

Length: 2.6k

AO3 | Main Master List | Next Chapter

Joel Miller had never been big on Christmas.

When he was a kid, it lost the magic pretty damn early. When your parents are just scraping by and are too proud to ask for help, the truth about Santa hits pretty young. From then on, it was just a constant reminder of what he didn’t have. Didn’t have parents who were willing to try to keep the magic alive for him and his brother, didn’t have a mother for his daughter, didn’t have a job that let him take time off to spend at home with her during the holidays.

This year, it was the fact that he didn’t have the money to pull off Christmas at all. At least, not that he could figure out.

“Daddy, look!” Sarah tugged on his fingers that were held tight in her sticky grip as they got in line, a sign that said “North Pole” over their heads. “Elves!”

“Yes, Baby Girl,” he smiled down at her even though he didn’t much feel like it. “Elves, they’re here to make sure you’re a good girl while we wait in line.”

“I’ll be good!” She said, first to him and then to a woman in peppermint striped leggings and a green felt dress. “I’ll be so good, I’ve been so good this year!”

“I bet you have been!” The woman smiled before going back to counting people in line, ending with Joel and Sarah. He checked is watch - the band barely hanging on by a thread and the cheap plastic of the face chipped - and let out a small sigh of relief. They’d just made it, the mall closing in half an hour and the Santa line cut off time coming even sooner.

“Wait!” There was a loud voice from behind him as the elf woman started roping off the line. He turned to see a woman who couldn’t be any older than him running toward the line, a girl about Sarah’s age on her hip. You all but skidded to a stop at the rope, the elf woman still holding the end of it. “Please, I’m so sorry, I got held up at work and it was just crazy tonight, can we still get in? We’ll be so quick, she’s so excited and I’ll buy the biggest photo package you have I promise.”

The elf looked around and then lifted the rope.

“Don’t tell anyone,” she smiled and gave the little girl a wink. “But only because you have been so good this year.”

The little girl gasped as you set her down.

“Aunt Cocoa, how did she know?”

“Because she’s an elf,” you said, taking her hand. “Of course she knows!”

Joel tried to not glare at you. You were wearing leggings that were covered in gingerbread men with a sweater that was the definition of an ugly Christmas sweater, green with tinsel and ornaments and lights hanging off it, a headband with antlers in your hair. He ground his teeth.

Of course, it wasn’t your fault that it was only a week and a half to Christmas and he’d gotten fuck all done. And it wasn’t your fault that the only emotional energy Joel had was going to go toward making sure his daughter had a good night, not placating some childish woman. But damn, it sure seemed like you’d been dropped in front of him just to annoy him, the personification of all the forced cheerfulness that came with the holiday season right where he didn’t want it to be.

“Aunt Cocoa!” The little girl by your side piped up. “Do you hear? It’s Rudolph!”

You turned an ear toward the ceiling and smiled.

“It IS Rudolph!” You said. “Now remind me, who is Rudolph again?”

“He’s a reindeer!” Sarah piped up from her place at Joel’s side. He almost groaned.

“Is he really?” You smiled down at her. “Who’s reindeer is he, do you think?”

“Santa’s!” Sarah and the little girl you were with said at the same time and their faces lit up before they dissolved into giggles.

“Hi!” Sarah smiled hugely, a gap where her front baby tooth had been just a few days earlier. “I’m Sarah!”

“I’m Sharon!” The girl with you smiled back, also missing a tooth. “I’m five, how old are you?”

“I’m five, too!” Sarah gaped at her, as though finding another child her age in line to see Santa was a miracle. “What school do you go to?”

And just like that, they were off, chattering away in rapid fire, high pitched, little kid speak. You smiled at Joel, almost absently smoothing Sharon’s hair down, more like a parent would do than an aunt.

“Hi,” you smiled at him as the kids babbled away to each other. Joel was pretty sure he heard the word Barbie from Sarah at the same time you gave your name.

He frowned.

“Thought your name was Cocoa.”

“Oh,” you laughed. “Yeah, when Sharon was little - well, littler - I’d pick her up for girls’ day and the first stop was always Starbucks where I’d get a latte and she’d get a hot cocoa so I turned into Aunt Cocoa.”

“Right…” Joel moved forward in line.

“And what’s your name, Sarah’s… adult person?” You asked, smiling a little too broadly. There was glitter on your eyelids. Glitter.

“I’m her Dad,” Joel said. “And I’m Joel.”

“Good to meet you, Joel,” you just kept smiling.

He was silent for probably too long before he realized he should probably respond.

“You too.”

Your smile fell a little but was still there and Joel turned to face forward again, Sarah still happily chattering to Sharon.

The line, at least, was moving quickly and, as much as your syrupy tone and ridiculous outfit grated on him, Sarah’s patience for the line was far greater because Sharon was there for her to talk to.

“So,” you were still smiling. How could someone smile that fucking long? Didn’t your face hurt? “These two seem to be getting on like a house on fire.”

“Yup,” Joel said. The family in front of him stepped forward and Joel did, too.

“Want to exchange numbers?” You asked. Joel raised his eyebrows at you and you stammered quickly. “I mean… you know, to try to get them together? Get some of that holiday energy out?”

“If you want to give me her mom’s number,” Joel said, not especially wanting you to have his.

You glanced down quickly at Sharon but she was laughing at something. Sarah laughed, too.

“Well, I can’t…” you flinched a little. It was the first time he’d seen you not smiling like a maniac. “I’m kind of… Sharon lives with me?”

You said it more like a question than a statement.

“Right,” Joel said slowly.

“So we could just trade numbers,” you smiled again. “Maybe the girls can go to a playground or something over the weekend?”

The line moved again.

“Sure,” Joel sighed, getting his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it. He passed it to you and you took it, adding your number.

“Just going to text myself…” you said absently and then handed Joel’s phone back, the message still pulled up. You’d just typed “Santa Joel” with a little heart emoji after it. Joel was still looking at the screen when two messages from you showed up. One was a selfie - one you’d clearly taken another time, no glitter eyelids or antlers in sight - and the other just your name, followed by a heart emoji.

“Smile!” You said and he looked up from his phone to see you taking a picture of him. He frowned and your face fell a little bit. “You know, for the contact picture?”

“Right.”

He looked down at his phone again. When you weren’t dressed like Christmas had thrown up, you were… pretty. Really pretty. Beautiful, actually, with soft eyes and a gentle smile. You looked like the kind of person people just wanted to talk to. Just the kind of person Joel didn’t need in his life.

The line advanced and Joel moved up.

“Excited for Christmas?” You asked after the two of you had been silent for another few minutes and had moved forward more.

Joel glanced down, making sure Sarah was still distracted. Sharon had pulled a small notebook out of her coat pocket and Sarah was looking over her shoulder, carefully reviewing the mass of stickers on the page.

“Sure,” Joel said, not about to say how he actually felt about it with Sarah this close by. He looked you up and down. “Looks like you’re ready for it.”

“Oh,” you laughed a little, looking down at the ridiculous sweater. “Yeah, I guess so! Anything you’re excited for?”

The line moved. Joel could see the leg of the tripod the camera was set up on now, at least.

“The food, I guess,” Joel said, even though that wasn’t really true, either. He usually got some cookie dough from the store so Sarah could decorate and Tommy had volunteered to host Christmas dinner that year but Joel was almost positive that it was going to be a damn disaster. His little brother could barely make mac and cheese, he didn’t see a full feast going well.

“So good, right?” You said. “I love…”

“Look,” Joel said, glancing down at the girls again. “Sure you… mean well and all but we’re getting close to the front of the line and I’d rather just stand here for the next five minutes, alright?”

“Oh,” your face fell a bit. “Right, I’m sorry, I… right. Sorry.”

You looked off to the side and Joel faced forward again.

He almost felt bad for it as they neared the front of the line, but then he heard you humming along with the stupid Christmas song playing on the speakers overhead and he stopped.

“OK!” The elf woman smiled down at Sarah. “Are you all ready to see Santa?”

“Yeah!” Sarah beamed up at her.

“Well that’s good, because you’re next!” She said, looking around the corner toward Santa. “Alright, looks like he’s already for you! Let’s go!”

She lifted the velvet rope and Joel nudged Sarah forward, her face lighting up when she saw the fat, bearded man on his throne. She ran over to him and clambered on his lap.

“I’ve been so good this year!” She said before Santa even got a chance to say hello. He laughed and helped her up.

“I’m sure you have been,” he said. “And what’s your name?

“Sarah!” She smiled her patchwork smile and Joel smiled, too. “I’m five, almost five and a half!”

“That half is very important,” Santa nodded sagely. “And what do you want for Christmas this year, Sarah?”

“A Barbie Dream House!” She said. “And a new Barbie and Ken to live there!”

Santa glanced up at Joel who was trying to not freak out. A fucking Barbie Dream House? That couldn’t be cheap. Money had been tight since he’d bought the house a few months earlier.

It was the worst house he could find in the best school district and he was still house poor as a result of the fucking thing. And, of course, after he closed one of his jobs fell through, so him and Sarah had gotten by on now maxed out credit cards for two months since buying the damn house had wiped out his savings.

He’d just gotten paid for the most recent job the day before, a sharp relief when he deposited the check. He’d been down to $17.87 in his checking account, happy that there’d been a sale on some canned shit a few weeks earlier so the pantry was at least somewhat stocked. How the fuck was he going to afford a Barbie Dream House?

Santa looked back at Sarah.

“We’ll just see what we can do about that,” Santa said kindly. “Do you think you can keep being a good girl for me?”

She nodded eagerly.

“Then I’m sure you’ll have a very happy Christmas,” he said. “Why don’t you look at that camera, we’ll take a picture together.”

Sarah sat up straight and smiled so big her eyes scrunched shut and the camera flashed. She jumped down and Sarah took his hand as they went to the booth to buy the pictures.

“He was so nice!” Sarah said. “And he smelled kind of like the apple pie we had on Thanksgiving and I think he knows that I’ve been real good, Dad.”

“He was nice,” Joel said, looking at the screen with the picture of Sarah on Santa’s lap and then the price list. “And I’m sure he knows how good you’ve been…”

How was it $25 for a print out of a picture and a frame made out of fucking card stock? The whole damn season was a racket.

“Just package A,” Joel said to the man dressed like an elf, pulling out his wallet and handing over his debit card.

“Do you think he can make a Dream House?” She asked, holding onto his fingers. “How do the elves make all those toys, anyway?”

“Well, they work real hard…”

“I’m sorry sir, but your card was declined,” the elf man held Joel’s debit card out to him. “Do you have another card?”

Joel’s chest got tight.

“Can you try it again?” He said.

“Already did,” the man said. “Twice more. It’s declined.”

“Just…” Joel pulled his phone out. “One sec.”

He opened his banking app and looked at his account. The check he’d deposited at the end of the day yesterday was there but still pending, funds not yet available. Fuck.

He only had two credit cards, both of them were maxed out. He opened his wallet, hoping he had a $10 bill he’d forgotten about, then he could do $10 cash and the other $15 on the card… and nothing. Joel took the card back and put it in his wallet.

“Do y’all keep the photos for a few days?” Joel asked. “I can come back tomorrow…”

You were suddenly there in the doorway, Sharon in front of you.

“No, I’m sorry sir,” the man said. “We wipe all the memory cards at the end of the day.”

Joel took a look at the screen, at Sarah’s giant smile, trying to remember it.

“Right,” Joel said, squeezing Sarah’s little hand. “Thanks, anyway.”

Sarah, at least, didn’t seem to even notice, even though Joel wasn’t sure the last time he felt so fucking low. He couldn’t even afford to buy his daughter’s Santa picture, how the fuck was he supposed to make Christmas happen? With a Barbie Dream House no less?

“Joel!” Your voice was loud behind him and he turned to see you running toward him, a plastic bag printed with holly and candy canes held out in front of you, Sharon trailing behind. He frowned as you stopped in front of him, panting for breath. “Sorry, I’ve done more running today than I have all year! Anyway, this is for you.”

You held the bag out and Joel’s frown deepened, taking it and looking inside. It was Sarah’s Santa picture in the stupid card stock frame and an ornament, the same picture encased in plastic.

“It was a great picture,” you smiled. “You should have a copy.”

“I’m not lookin’ for charity.”

“Oh,” your face fell a little. “I wasn’t… It’s not… Just pay it forward when you can, OK? Merry Christmas.”

You didn’t wait for him to respond, just taking Sharon’s hand and walking away.

Next Chapter

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #holly jolly

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