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novoki · 2 years

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Gladstone: Chief Mouser of the Treasury

Larry the Cat gets a ton of attention across the internet for his role as Chief Mouser at No. 10, but nobody knows about Gladstone which makes me super sad so i’m here to rectify that:

Gladstone is the Chief Mouser of Her Majesty’s Treasury in Whitehall, London. he was appointed in 2016 following Larry and Palmerston’s appointments as Chief Mousers of No. 10 and the Foreign Office respectively - and should get just as much as, if not more (as i personally believe), attention as them!

why, you say? well ohoho i’m glad you asked:

1) he’s better at his job than Larry

Larry is well-known for his “lack of killer instinct” and is notoriously bad at his job as Chief Mouser. the press calls him “Lazy Larry” due to his tendency to sleep on while mice run amok and in 2012 was almost fired from his position due to incompetency!

Gladstone, by comparison, is a natural mouser.

Gladstone’s catch count was last reported as 22, far higher than Larry’s (if not as high as Palmerston’s, i’ll admit). Gladstone made his first catch within 48 hours of arriving at the Treasury whereas it took Larry just under two months. Larry also had to have an assistant appointed, Freya, to help with mousing duties; Gladtsone catches all his mice himself, and has even moved onto flies, as can be seen above.

2) he’s fashionable as all hell

while all the cats of Whitehall are undoubtedly adorable, only one can hold the title for best dressed: Gladstone.

clearly, Larry and Palmerston have nothing on Gladstone. both have simple solid-coloured collars whereas Gladstone is leading the fashion revolution with every new bowtie he wears.

in fact, he’s started a trend with his bowties! when Evie and Ossie became the new Chief Mousers of the Cabinet Office in late 2016, they sported Gladstone’s iconic bowties. #styleicon

3) he’s a social media influencer

the last reason Gladstone should be just as much a household name as Larry and Palmerston is because his job isn’t only limited to mousing - he also uses his platforms to spread the message about his work:

Gladstone’s Twitter and Instagram is filled with constant updates as to what the Treasury is doing, and he often features in simple ‘5 things about ___’ videos that are cute as well as informative. he’s also seen frequently supporting global events like Pride yearly (hence the rainbow bowtie above).

4) in summary: he’s awesome

now that Palmerston has retired to lead a more chill life, and now that Larry looks to be on the horizon of replacing Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, perhaps it’s time to acknowledge how cool Gladstone is and pay him the respect and attention he deserves?

#in other words: my latest hyperfication #cats in power is so fucking funny though #cats in power #cats of the world #cats #funny #uk politics #gladstone the cat #larry the cat #palmerston the cat #chief mouser #lol #comedy #uk #united kingdom #cats in politics #hm treasury #westminster #whitehall

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insidecroydon · 5 months

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'Teetering on the edge': Hunt does nothing for local councils

Complete Hunt: the Chancellor on his way to the Commons yesterday. His Autumn Statement does nothing for teachers, the NHS or local councils TV politics pundit ANDREW FISHER, pictured right, assesses the fine detail of the Chancellor’s Autumn Statement, and amid the tax giveaways for the already wealthy, identifies the glaring gaps in financial provision for the NHS, teachers and local…

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#15% Council Tax hike #Andrew Bailey #Andrew Fisher #Autumn Statement #Bank of England #Chancellor of the Exchequer #Conservative #Council Tax #Croydon #HM Treasury #Homelessness #Jeremy Hunt #No-fault evictions #OBR #Office for Budget Responsibility #Section 114 #Section 114 Notice #Tory

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all-action-all-picture · 11 months

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Battle Modern Master Plan No. 8 - H.M.S. Valiant. Entered service with the Royal Navy in 1966 and was decommissioned in 1994. It was one of two subs in the Valiant class with Warspite being the second.

Is it a ship or a boat? In the Royal Navy a submarine is known as a boat. I've heard and read a number of explanations for this (many of which sound reasonable). Probably best just to leave it that its a historical term that has just stuck with it.

From Battle Picture Weekly No. 65 cover dated 29 May 1976. Treasury of British Comics.

#29may #1976 #battle modern master plan #battle #hms valiant #hms warspite #treasury of british comics #royal navy #cutaway

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downthetubes · 1 year

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Rebellion announces new Battle Action mini series - our guide to the returning strips

Battle Action, 2000AD publisher's relaunch of the title inspired by two classic British weekly comics, Battle Picture Weekly (aka Battle) and Action, is back as a five-issue miniseries

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#Adventure Comics #Battle Action #Cooley&039;s Gun #Crazy Keller #D-Day Dawson #Death Squad #downthetubes News #Dredger #Garth Ennis #Hellman of Hammer Force #HMS Nightshade #John Wagner #Johnny Red #Keith Burns #Major Eazy #Nina Patrova and The Angels of Death #Rebellion #Treasury of British Comics #War Comics

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easterneyenews · 3 months

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polyhexian · 6 months

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despite Jasper telling Raine not to call him for CATTs business after the finale, I feel like Raine would, indeed, end up calling him. a lot. because, like. there's an entire oppressive government to mop up, and as former Golden Guards both Jasper and Hunter would be a wealth of information.

it's a 50-50 chance whether Jasper will just hang up or whether he'll demand some ridiculous price for his help, but Raine has a dangerous castle full of an evil emperor's secrets to clean up, and the former Golden Guards are RIGHT THERE.

so like…

"Whispers, I told you not to call me."

"I know, don't worry, I'll be quick. Is there a backup key to the treasury?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"We can't find the treasury secretary and the key is gone and we KIND OF need the relief funds - "

"Ohoho you guys are screwed, if you try going in there without the key you're gonna get vaporized by the security system."

"I AM AWARE. Do you know of some other way to get in?"

"Mmm theoretically."

"…What's it gonna cost to get you to help?"

"I've been considering getting my own wifi plan. Could you get the fees waived for, like, forever?"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TO GET UPPER-LEVEL ACCESS TO THE CASTLE'S CRYSTAL BALL NETWORK?"

"Hello to you too, Whispers."

"YES, HI, WE'RE KIND OF ON A TIME LIMIT HERE, NO TIME TO EXPLAIN BUT LILITH'S ACCESS WAS REVOKED SO - "

"Pfft wait, they actually locked her out? Oh, wait, she was alive when she defected, that makes sense…"

"JASPER PLEASE I KNOW THIS IS A LONGSHOT BUT IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS - "

"Here I'll just text you my username and password."

"…WHAT???"

"Yeah they never changed it, pretty stupid of them. There you go, sent, feel free to use it as much as you like, it's not like I need it anymore. Also stop calling me."

"Listen I know you said you don't care to participate in government BUT I'm just putting out feelers so I wanted to know if you had any ideas on how to de-militarize the Emperor's Coven?"

"What makes you think I understand the first thing about political theory?"

"You were the Emperor's RIGHT HAND MAN."

"Haha yeah, doesn't mean I understood anything."

"Did Belos actually acquire the XYZ artifact?"

"Oh, yeah, I got that for him like 20 years ago."

"Great! Do you know where he stored it?"

"Not a clue."

"Whispers I am marathoning Cosmic Frontier with my kid, this had better be important."

"Sorry, just - quick question, we're trying to clear Belos's wing of the castle and we need to know, how many secret passages are there in this hallway?"

"Well in the hallway there's five, but there's another two in his chambers and one in his study."

"For the love of - "

"Hm? One sec. …Okay, Hunter says there's actually three in the study and seven in the hallway - wait, but Hunter, you never knew about the grimwalker lab? Huh. Okay so between me and Hunter there are eight in the hallway. That we know of."

"Great. Fantastic."

"Also watch out for the booby traps. And now that I think about it, one of the passages in the bedchamber is probably keyed so that only a human can enter, so you might want to recruit Luz for that."

"Is there anything I can do to get you to come help us clear this place?"

"Absolutely not. Wait, let me check - hey, Hunter, want to go back to the site of our torment to help Whispers and Mason do their jobs? Yeah, didn't think so."

"Alright, alright, sorry for asking."

"Oh, but I do claim anything you find pertaining to grimwalkers as, like, reparations or whatever. At the very least there should be a shelf full of journals in the lab. You can give what's left of Caleb back to the Clawthornes, though, he's their graverobbed great-great-whatever-granddad."

"Oh dear titan."

"Going back to our marathon now, if you have an emergency in the next thirteen hours I am NOT answering my scroll. Byyyyyyye."

SO fucking funny. "here's my password have fun kids" and that's how Raine finds out how jasper has known everything always all the time jehshdhdja. THAT SON OF A-

Don't forget jasper loves being bribed. When hunter is busy or at school jasper can be convinced to do stuff. Mostly with food. Food is a great motivator the man is hungry.

Raine: hey... Can you come and break down the wards in Belos's chambers?

Jasper: no

Raine: you want a house

Jasper: what

Raine: a house. White picket fence. Bay windows. Kitchen nook. You want one

Jasper: wh

Raine: mason will make you a house if you will come deactivate these wards

Jasper: why would I need a house. I have a house.

Raine: you live in a cave.

Jasper: I like my cave.

Raine: I bet hunter would like a house.

Jasper: I'll be right there

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sieglinde-freud · 4 months

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If you had to pick a second trio of awakening kids to put in fates (on Hishido's side) who would you send, why, and where would put them (ie who's retainers would they be and who would they replace or where would they be serving in Hoshido if not retainers).

SORRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE FIVE YEARS TO GET TO, STEDY… i saw it and i was like “ooh i gotta think about this i’ll come back” and then. and then i forgor… BUT ANYWAYSSS

so, to hoshido????? well… i think realistically theyd go down the popularity poll. they seem to want to avoid lucina (lord) and morgan (two of them, picking one means making one and also one robin canon) so next on the list iirc is noire, brady, and gerome. and i think that could work pretty okay, but i think they just kind of all have one fatal flaw here: none of them would be down to go.

the awakening trio works because yeah!! yeah i absolutely buy all three of them being game to go fuck off to a new world because some pathetic man begged them to help save lives. gerome though?? no!! gerome hardly wanted to go back in time to save HIS OWN WORLD!! brady cant fight CANONICALLY, and i highly doubt he’d want to step foot on another battlefield. and noire… i think someone could make a case for noire being willing to come. but i think she’d prefer staying with tharja and protecting the baby version of herself more. and without proper encouragement which would mostly likely come from severa who is. not here. i dont think she’d be too willing. AND I KNOW THAT MEANS IM MISSING OUT ON NOIRE!RHAJAT BUT… come on. you think im gonna give noire to hayato anyways?? no.

so!! a more interesting alternative? kjelle, cynthia, and laurent. i think kjelle and cynthia would be so down if they thought they were gonna be protecting innocents. kjelle wants to fight, grow stronger, and protect, and her natural element is the battlefield. cynthia wants to be a hero and fight for justice, and what better than a country protecting its homeland? as for laurent, i think he’d also like to save people, but i just think this guy would also like traveling around for education purposes. a new land means more insight to gain, and more things to share with his mother when he comes back. so. yeah. perhaps not the tightest reasoning, but i think its much more realistic than like. gerome. sooo

cynthia would most likely stay a pegasus knight? i dont see a reason to change her class. but armor knight is nohrian while sage doesnt exist in fates (technically. im aware onmyoji is the equivalent) sooo they’d have to change. i think theres a few things you could do with kjelle? spear fighter is probably the obvious choice, but i think kinda similar to owain, she’d like a chance to try out other weapons, probably to demonstrate her strength. and for this im strongly leaning master of arms prepromote. yes she’d still have spear access, but having mastered katanas and clubs during her time in hoshido could be really fun i think. as for laurent… lol. apothecary. hes not really here to fight but like. he can. promote him to merchant and he’ll start throwing the army’s treasury at you. dont fuck with him! but obviously kjelle would have armor knight access via heart seal and i think i’d give laurent troubador over dark mage just to reference miriel having that class in awakening but it could go either way. cynthia would probably have… uh. ummmm… fuck. wait. i dont know. sumia gets armor knight and cleric. can we j be funny and give her merc so she has hero access :/// ok thanks

if were following the same format as the og trio, i would j plant them as retainers to make it simple. and… i think i’d go:

kjelle - ryoma

laurent - hinoka

cynthia - sakura

im completely willing to change on this honestly. i thought long and hard about it and then i went “hm. no.” and ended up here. my logic is that of the awakening trio, laslow definitely seems to be the strongest and is nohr’s crown prince’s retainer, and of these three, kjelle is probably the strongest, so same treatment. i also considered the dynamic between saizo and kagero and i just think she’d work the best with them. no bullshit, just work. plus, in a samurai class (moa promotes from samurai) she’d fit in better with ninja than a flier and a uh. a guy.

i put laurent with hinoka and i almost didnt because i think he could have an interesting dynamic with the other royals too. but then i was like “okay. of the three: who would fit into hinokas retainer dynamic that just seems to be ‘giving hinoka a hard time’” and well!!! i think!!! i think its laurent!!! i think laurent would just be engrossed in his studies and the difference in technological progress compared to ylisse (no fireworks but they have giant puppets??? the dolls with the saws??? TANKS????) and hinokas like “uh. hey. did you eat any of ur last three meals?” and he goes “no but i DID make a gun” and azama and setsuna are just like “woahhh thats fucking awesome dude” and i just think if i gave hinoka kjelle or cynthia it wouldnt be as funny. i do things for the bit. always.

and that leaves cynthia for the other two and… i dont actually think she’d go to takumi. i think sakura and her retainers is a much more realistic possibility because takumis trio is just. so. fucking look at them… itd be odd to shove a fourth person in there. it COULD work, but also i kinda just like the idea of cynthia pledging herself to sakura. she’d be all hyped about it too like “the brave warrior defending her princess?!! yessss!!” and sakura would be like. so down for cynthias flower throwing entrance or whatever (with… sakura petals?? yes????) and idk i just think they would be neat. and she could be a nice mediator between subaki and hana who just like. wont shut the fuck up. she’ll either make it better by being a nice middle man or make it worse by also not shutting up except its about something completely different and no progress gets made. both fine outcomes, i think.

and then they fight nohr and go to war with their besties forevs!!!!!!! wooooo!!!! im not writing that out. you decide how that goes. though i think a cynthia vs selena encounter would be insaane… ooh or like an cynthia vs odin justice cabal thing? oouhhvghh… but this post is long enough anyways hi stedy 👋

#asks #long post AGAIN #its fun to consider how some of them might act in hoshido #i do think the imagery of apothecary laurent is really funny though #has no idea what the native wildlife to hoshido is like so dude is just shoving plants in his mouth like #‘this may kill me. but fuck it we ball?’#i think him and azama would get on great.#also i think kjellnoka could go CRAZYYYY… like think about it.#one thing that i dont like though is that kjelle and cynthia do not have supports in awakening #but even if we go back to the original next trio gerome and brady dont either???#i think one of the best parts of THE awakening trio is that they ALL supported and thus all has a foundation to build off of #and thats harder to pull off when youre picking from the rest of them #they have the hotspring convo tho so. close enough?#also ik u said replace but i dont rly like getting rid of any existing retainers bc i just like them all so. WOO THREE RETAINERS!!!

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darlingshane · 9 months

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big bad wolff

Pairing: Braxton Wolff x Marybeth Medina

Summary: Passing on a contract is a first for Brax, but there's something pulling at his heartstrings that is far more interesting than the money he was offered.

Content/Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Dom/Sub Undertones, Alcohol, Associates with Benefits (or something like that).

Word Count: 2k (precisely)

— You can read below or at AO3.

“Hard pass,” Braxton slides the envelope across the table after taking a quick look at his new target. “I don't fuck with law enforcement.”

“That's the line you draw? Thought you were all about the money.”

“I love money. But a man gotta have a code, too. 'Sides Treasury? It'd put a target on my back.”

“She’s an analyst.”

“Still. Working for the federals.”

“What if I double the offer?”

Braxton raises a brow and opens the envelope again to see the beautiful Marybeth Medina in the photo inside.

As tempting as the offer is…

“I'm sorry, Mr. Calhoun. I'm afraid the answer is still no. What did she do anyway?”

“She's got her nose in my client's business like a rabid dog after a buried bone. The only way to stop her from digging further would be to gently put her down.”

“Hm, I've met women like that.”

“I thought you guys were professionals. Can't you make it look like an accident? What would you say if I added another 50 grand?”

“It’s possible, but accidents can get the wrong people asking the right questions, and I can't have that in my line of business.”

“You're a hitman.”

“And you're a two-time slimy lawyer that scours a six-figure representing the scum of the earth that make me look like the Easter Bunny.”

“I have to say, Mr. Wolff, your reputation does not precede you. Mr. Davenport won't be pleased to know you have refused to do your job.”

“Davenport is not my boss. Tell him I said hi.”

He watches Calhoun like a hawk as the lawyer retrieves his cellphone from Braxton's assistant.

“Did you tap it?” He asks once Calhoun has left the premises.

“Who do you think I am? Of course, I tapped it.”

“Good. You tell H to get a detailed list of all his calls, meetings, texts… I need to know where this asshole eats, when he shits, where he does his dry cleaning…”

“The whole gist. Got it.”

“Put a couple of guys on Medina, too. Just in case.”

“I thought that was your job.”

“Yeah, but I'm afraid they're going to double down now. I can't take those chances.”

“You had to piss him off, didn't you?”

“You know me, sweetheart. My mouth runs faster than my brain. I'm a lost cause.”

Later that night, Braxton sneaks into Medina's building. His guys are already staking the place per his orders.

Medina is not home yet when he breaks into her apartment. It wouldn't be the first time he's done it.

In the dark, he pulls out a mini flashlight and RF detector and checks every nook of her place for hidden bugs.

Given their history, he kinda owes her this one. Even if he didn't, what he said to Calhoun is right, he doesn't fuck with law enforcement. At least not in that sense.

He's going through her desk when Marybeth opens the door.

She’s not surprised one bit to find him there when she turns on the light.

“Look what the cat dragged in. Do you ever just wait for people to invite you in, Mr. Wolff?” She watches Braxton, clad in back, putting his gadgets away.

“Hm, sometimes. But it's not as fun.”

“Business or pleasure?” her frown remains firm as she puts her case down, removes her blazer and steps out of her uncomfortable shoes.

“How about both?”

“Some things never change.”

Marybeth rolls the sleeves of her dress shirt and pulls out a bottle of scotch and two ball glasses from the cabinet, as he takes off his leather gloves and sits at the dining table.

That's how their meetings always start – with a bottle of Lagavulin and a formal debrief that follows with them handling their pressing business between sheets.

“I think I have a mole,” Marybeth realizes after hearing Brax's warning.

“How do you figure?”

“Because only me and my boss know about Davenport LLC. We're still gathering evidence.”

“Is your boss dirty?”

“Ray King?” She chuckles a little, “not a chance in hell.”

“Well, whatever you have on Davenport is making them shit their panties.”

“Davenport doesn’t scare me,” she throws back her glass, taking a big gulp of her drink.

“He should. I’ve seen what he does with pretty faces like yours.”

“You think he’d be that dumb to go after me?”

“He came to me, honey. He is that dumb.”

“You could've just called, you know?”

“Had to make sure nobody was listening.”

“Are they?”

“No.”

“Good. Can we move on now to the pleasure part? I had a long day.”

“I just told you one of the most dangerous men on the planet is after you and you’re not worried at all?”

“Oh, I am worried. But he’s not going to show up tonight, is he? Uh-uh. Not as long as I have The Big Bad Wolff on my side.”

“Gotta say, Medina. You were not like this when we met. You went quickly from little lamb to lion.”

“Maybe I was never a lamb. And, you weren't like this, either. It seems that you actually care about what happens to me, Mr. Wolff.”

“Well, perhaps I do. Would that be so bad?”

“Hm, no. Not at all.” She stands up, offering a hand in his direction. “You coming, Big Wolff?”

“Rock ‘n Roll, girl.”

Braxton downs the rest of his drink and takes her hand, letting her lead the way to her bedroom.

Under the warm glow of the night lamp, and Brax’s brazen stare, her hands undo one by one the buttons of her shirt. As her skin comes to view, he pulls out his boots and slips out of his jacket without letting her out of his sight.

There’s no rush, but the thrill is palpable. It lingers in the air. They’ve already gone through this more times than he can count, and watching her undress her body is just as exciting as all those times he’s ripped her clothes apart.

When they're both stripped to his underwear, his hands automatically are drawn to frame her hips, pulling her body flush against his. Marybeth tilts her head, tentatively seizing his mouth slowly, letting her fingers draw the toned slopes of his arms.

Her tongue moves past his lips as her skin comes alive, buzzing under his palms, as his fingertips sink at the curve of her ass.

Brax tries to take control of the kiss, but Marybeth doesn't waver, and brings one of her hands to hold his chin still. She nibbles his bottom lip before sucking it between her teeth to see it turn dark pink after releasing it.

Usually, she lets him be the one in charge, but tonight she's in the mood for something different. There are things outside this room that escape her control, and here with him is the only thing she can get a semblance of power.

“Thought you wanted the big bad Wolff.”

“I want him on a leash,” her hand curls around his throat without squeezing.

“Yeah? What do I get in return?”

“Me.”

He scoffs and licks his lips, “okay, lil lion, show me what you got.”

Marybeth keeps her hold around his neck, guiding him backwards toward the bed until the back of his legs meet the mattress. He lays down on his back, and she crawls on top of him. She braces her palms on his chest, straddles his lap, allowing her hips to gently circle over his crotch.

His hands are automatically called to hold those beautiful hips that shamelessly grind, earning themselves a good hard-on to enjoy.

Behind layers of underwear, she rubs herself over and over, a little faster each time, letting that sweet spot revel in the friction he provides as the inner side of her panties quickly gets coated in her juices.

Locking eyes with her, he’s utterly mesmerized by the unbearable beauty of Marybeth as she bites her bottom lip. From above, she watches him exhale and buck up like an animal between her legs, trying to drill his way into her.

It's a torturous deed, she's aware. There's a fine line between playing with Brax or riling him up, and she's just lightly tapping on it. If she pressed any harder, it'd be like poking that ravenous wolf.

After a long moment, she brings her hips to a halt and reaches back with her fingers to unclasp her bra. As she tosses it aside, she leans forward to gently bite on his lip.

“Good, Wolff,” she grins, tracing the shape of his lips with the tip of her tongue as her fingers slip under the elastic of his boxers to feel his erection. It fills up her fist, throbs as her hand squeezes just a little harder to have his precum wetting the head.

“Hmm,” his lip curls, showing those teeth he's marked on her skin many times before.

Getting him to a point of perfection, she finally rids herself of her panties and pulls down his boxers. His cock jolts on its own when her knuckles graze his shaft. Propped on her knees, she lifts her ass, lines the blunt tip of his cock with her entrance, and sinks onto him.

In less than a second, as usual, he forgets altogether why he came here as her wet ass pussy slides up and down his hardness.

“Fuck me, girl,” he pants as she sinks all the way down, having her divinely, tight opening pressing around him.

Once she's comfortable enough, she angles her body forward, propping her hands on either side of his head, and moves a little faster. First, just rocking back and forth, and then bouncing with practiced ease as Brax fills his eager palms with her ass. Her breasts are so perfectly round and perked, bouncing dangerously close to his face, he can't help but stick his head up to nibble one of them.

Marybeth, smiling mid-moan, holds his head with one hand as he viciously wraps his lips around her nipple. His grunts ripple all over her skin, making her core ache, as he moves to the other boob.

He uses his teeth this time, there's so much she can do to tame that wild beast beneath her, she wouldn't even stop it if she wanted to. After crossing that line, he's all lips, tongue, and paws claiming her body.

His arms curl around her, and before she realizes, he's turning the tables to get himself on top of her and charge the rest of the way. He desperately pushes into her at full force, coaxing her body into submission. The most beautiful cries come out of her as he drives her into madness when his fingers find their way to her clit.

Having his fingers working furiously on that spot, he bites her neck, scrapes his teeth on her jaw before devouring her mouth. He can't bring himself to stop until he's poured every drop inside her. Braxton gasps for air as he comes undone. His cock is still twitching inside her, trying to ride the wave of his orgasm, when her sweet opening flutters around him. All her muscles seize up for a second as a lightning of pleasure travels through her body.

Holding her jaw, he keeps his mouth open against her lips as his breathing catches and the room suddenly goes quiet below the sound of their shared pants. His stomach presses softly on hers, as he lays completely limp and flat on top of her. If someone were to attack right now, he wouldn't be able to even pick up his gun to defend himself or even stand up. He can think of a million ways worse to die than this, to be honest. Given the opportunity, if he had to choose a way to go, this would be it – post-orgasm, still tucked inside the fine depth of her tender walls, as her fingers softly comb the damp hairs at his nape.

#the accountant #jon bernthal #cynthia addai-robinson #braxton wolff #marybeth medina #the accountant fanfiction #jon bernthal fanfiction #jon bernthal smut #brax x marybeth #darlingwrites #requests

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maironsbigboobs · 1 year

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Starlight (ao3)

Warnings: Major Character Death, minor gore, angst

It was Naugladur, son of Njal, the King of Nogrod whose axe brought low Mablung of the Heavy Hand.

Mablung had sat him on his knee as a boy.

He had been to Nogrod many times, on errands from the King. He had stayed in the hall of King Njal, just as he had for his father, and his father’s father before him.

(There were too many of them. Mablung was alone; his soldiers he had given orders to help the innocent escape, so that he might complete his Queen’s final order - he would take the jewel to Lúthien)

“Welcome to Nogrod, Captain Mablung. Long have we awaited your coming! Last I saw you I had no grey in my beard.”

“King Njal,” He bowed low, a hand across his chest, and chuckled. “You shall find my hair is still greyer than yours. You are still young.”

“Mahal bless the silver tongue of Elves,” Njal gestured for Mablung to follow him out of the hall and into a receiving room. The Queen sat there with a small child on her lap, who scrambled behind her skirts as she stood to greet him.

“Captain Mablung. It is an honour.”

“Queen Yrsi. The honour is mine, and my lord’s. I bring fair words from Menegroth and fairer gifts; as befitting the coronation of a king.” He had not been invited, of course, but he had not been expecting one; the ceremony for crowning a Dwarf-king was private and he had no wish to intrude.

(He raised his spear, standing before the treasury door. Naugladur was accompanied by twelve strong warriors. But Mablung was mighty, and Mablung was desperate, and three died by his spear and a fourth by his sword. The first blow of Naugladur’s axe connected with the back of his knees as he pulled his sword from the grasp of a dying warrior’s chest.)

“And this must be the young Crown Prince?”

“Naugladur, come now, and greet our guest.”

The child emerged shyly and offered a stiff bow, which Mablung returned – an almost comical gesture, given the child hardly even reached his knees, and the young Dwarf giggled. Mablung’s lips twitched in a smile.

Soon he was seated, listening to Njal recount tales of all that he had missed in the decades since his last visit. Mablung sat on one of the low couches, generously provided specifically for elven visitors, to save them from sitting on the floor – though Mablung would not have minded that.

Naugladur watched him with wide, fascinated eyes as his father talked, watching him drink his tea and eat the sweet cakes he had been offered. Little by little, the young prince edged closer, until he was standing by Mablung’s leg.

(The second blow sliced open his chest. Mablung’s rattling grasp brought up blood. Agony bloomed in his chest, ribs crushed, flesh sliced open. He fell forward, onto his face, the thick dark blood seeping into the stone around him. He could not speak – his voice would not work, even as he tried to call out – for help, for mercy, for an end. The treasury doors burst open.)

“Master Elf,” Naugladur asked, his voice gaining in confidence – they spoke in their shared common tongue, as the prince had not yet learnt Sindarin and Mablung knew only a handful of Khuzdul words. “Will you tell us a story?”

“Hm,” Mablung smiled and sat back, patting his knee, and the young prince climbed up onto his lap, to better here the story Mablung was beginning to tell. “I will tell you a story of starlight. Do you know how the elves came to the forests?”

Naugladur shook his head.

“It was in the ancient days, when there was only bright starlight. We had walked far from the shore of our birth, led by the forefathers of elves, led by my lord Thingol.” Mablung began, speaking of the deep forests he had wandered in, the wondrous caves he had explored, the great monsters he had slain in defence of his people. “We wandered down along the river Sirion, with nothing but the stars for company - except ourselves, of course. We loved the forests of Doriath so dearly, we made our home there."

“You speak of the stars like they were alongside you, Master Elf.” Naugladur giggled, leaning against Mablung, eyes bright with wonder and awe.

“Elves love the starlight as dwarves love the light of gems.”

Njal interrupted with a chuckle. “If King Thingol’s commissions are any measure, elves too love the light of gems.”

“That is true,” Mablung conceded with a laugh of his own. “

“Do you miss the stars, Master Elf, now that we have the Sun?”

Mablung laughed. “In the dark, on the clear nights, we can still see the starlight – it comforts us in our terrors, soothes our grief, guides our paths.”

Naugladur was quiet as Mablung finished his tale. The young prince played with the edge of his sleeve, clearly deep in thought, in the serious yet innocent manner of children.

“You have good stories, Master Elf. Will you tell me more?”

(He crawled towards the open door, even as his life and his insides spilled from him. Naugladur laughed, triumphant, and lifted the Silmaril in its prison of white gems. White gems that twinkled like starlight. Mablung could see nothing else, the shimmering Treelight filling his vision entirely – he raised out a hand, the same hand that had once lifted the Silmaril from the belly of the wolf.

I want see the starlight one last time.

Mablung of the Heavy Hand died in the light of the Trees, encircled by the stars.)

#mablung #my fic #:)

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notayesmanseconomics · 9 months

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What is the truth about Bank of England QE and HM Treasury losses?

As I switched on the television this morning I was surprised but pleased to see that the subject of Bank of England QE bond buying was being discussed on Sky News Breakfast. As you can imagine it made an old bond trader very happy! However there is also a serious point as large financial decisions have been made on our behalf by a body which is unelected. The ordinary person is unlikely to know…

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#Bank of England #Bank Rate #business #Chancellor Osborne #economy #Finance #HM Treasury #QE #QE Losses #QT #Shadow Secretary to the Treasury

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softquietsteadylove · 1 year

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Declaration of War

For @oldtvserieslover 's birthday, after asking about something for the Gladiator AU!

"My name is Eros," the newcomer smiled in a way that made both the queen and her daughter bristle. "And you, Princess, are as beautiful as the legends say."

His statement was accompanied by an up-and-down of her with his hungry eyes.

"Prince Eros," Ajak addressed him directly, and rather kindly, given the way he was looking at her daughter. "We welcome you to the tournament of Champions. You have come to challenge?"

"Indeed I have," the Prince grinned at them, bowing his mane of hair slightly to them. "I believe my selected champions will stand a great chance of beating you this time around, my Lady."

"Hm," Thena vocalised, mostly to herself. Her eyes drifted from the challenger in title to the actual fighters accompanying him.

They were lined up, facing their own gladiators. There was one who was clearly their first pick to win. He stood like a beast, massive in height and still heavily muscled. His face hardly even seemed human.

He was staring down Gilgamesh.

"We shall see," Ajak offered diplomatically, offering a polite sort of smile to the visiting Prince. "We have yet to be bested in the past years."

"Actually, I was hoping to propose," the Prince stepped back into proximity with the ladies, "higher stakes."

"Such as," Ajak frowned, backing up a step, incidentally pushing Thena further back as well.

"Such as a proposal," he tipped his chin up, his eyes shifting to Thena as if Ajak had disappeared from his line of sight. "I propose that my prize is the hand of the Lady herself."

"What?" Gilgamesh spoke up from his end of the line, although no one but Thena even looked at him as he spoke.

"That is hardly-" Ajak blinked as the Prince swooped down in a deep bow.

"I ask that if my chosen gladiators win, that I win the hand of the princess," he spoke downward, expressing a humility that he completely lacked just a moment ago. "The treasury I'm offering as a bet on my warriors is triple that of our other competitors."

Indeed, the funds offered by the brazen prince would provide for their coffers very nicely.

"And if we win?" Thena challenged, although something about the Prince's sly gaze and the presence of that beast of a man made her skin crawl.

Eros cocked his head at her with a grin that she could only imagine would have his concubines melting. "Why, you may ask anything you like, my darling bride. Since I intend to win no matter the challenge posed."

"We haven't even fought yet."

At last, the other royals present looked at Gilgamesh, still speaking up with no regard for if it was considered insolent of him - a mere fighter for the crown - or not. He met their critical glares without fear, shrugging his wide shoulders. "You could at least let her set her own conditions."

Thena shook her head ever so faintly, urging him to stay silent on the matter. She had come to enjoy speaking with him, and her mother - having become aware of this rapport between them - tolerated it. But most who were part of royalty did not welcome interruptions by civilians.

Eros chuckled, giving Gilgamesh a different kind of smile. It was still a smile, and still meant to appear affable. But this one was sharper edged and colder--the tilt of his head was so...demeaning. "Did you say something, brute?"

"Yeah, I did," Gil continued, undeterred by Eros' obvious disgust with him. His fists clenched, "it's pretty ballsy of you to come in here and demand to marry the princess. The least you could do is accept the conditions if you lose."

"Well, I don't intend to lose, so by all means," the prince bared his teeth at Gil now, like a predator toying with prey it knew it could outrun. "Set any conditions you like."

"Gil," Thena whispered, but he stepped up to Eros (and in front of her).

Gil got right in the Prince's face, who happily let him, meeting his challenge with a manic delight. "Speak up, pleb."

"If I win," Gil started without even considering the other gladiators selected alongside him. It was always just him by the final rounds of the tournament anyway. "Thena gets to marry anyone she chooses."

"The Lady may select her own groom," Eros postulated, emphasising the proper title for her, in contrast to Gil's overly familiar use of her given name. "What a peculiar thought."

Gil stood firm on the spot, even with the beast of a challenger moving forward and breathing like a bull ready to charge. "She gets to make her own choice. And no one gets to say a damn thing about it--not you, or anyone else."

"Hm," Eros raised his brows at Gil's adamant proposal. He looked amused by the resolve he showed and stepped away from the shorter but significantly more strongly built man. "Fine, I accept your little wager."

Thena glared at him again. Her life and freedom was a 'little wager', apparently.

"But know this, Gilgamesh," Eros turned his eyes on him again, voice sharp and eyes cold. "I do not intend to leave this place empty handed."

"I don't care what you intend," Gil snarled at him, finally backing up but not moving away from Thena behind him as Eros walked off and beckoned for his chosen fighters to follow. "You're not coming anywhere near her."

Ajak let out a breath as the prince and his entourage descended the steps to their mezzanine. She looked at the guards, who were hovering with their weapons, waiting for the word to be given about how the lowly gladiator was standing inappropriately close to the princess. Ajak shook her head, "relax, all of you."

The guards stood back against the walls, although Gil was still glaring at where Eros and his gladiators had vanished. He huffed, crossing his arms, "the nerve of that guy."

"Gil," Thena cut in, glaring at him (and forgetting that she too was addressing him far too casually).

"What?" he shrank back at her obvious ire. "D-Did I do something wrong?"

"Y-You-!" Thena pinched her full lips together, pressing her fingers together before she could make a real fist with them. "That thing with him will be out for your blood, after that altercation!"

"Well," he shrugged at her as if he were talking with anyone else and not the crown princess herself. "He was going to be anyway, right?"

"That's not the point!"

"Thena," Ajak scolded, watching her daughter squabble with one of their own fighters.

"I'm sorry," Gilgamesh conceded, bowing his head to his monarchs. "To both of you, my Lady. But I couldn't just...I couldn't let him think-"

"You have issued a very serious challenge, Gilgamesh," Ajak addressed him firmly but not unkindly. "This cannot be taken lightly."

"It won't be," he assured his queen before turning to his princess. "I'll win."

Thena bit down on the inside of her lip, "you can't know that will happen."

"I can, I'll make it happen," he affirmed, stating it as boldly as he would state any fact about the ocean being deep or the sun being bright. He held her eyes, not letting her fear sway him at all. "I'll win, Thena."

Ajak cleared her throat. That was quite enough use of given names for now. She would have to address it later. "Come--you must prepare for the first round of fights."

"Yes," Gil bowed, stepping back into the line, where his fellow competitors were staring slack jawed at him for yet again speaking with the princess audaciously.

"And you," Ajak turned to Thena, whose face betrayed her nervousness for just a second. "Come with me."

"Yes, mother," Thena murmured, indeed following Ajak up the stairs to the shaded platform for their respective thrones. She looked behind her.

Gil offered a faint smile and a little wave, same as he did every time he saw her, no matter the distance between them.

Thena's eyes were drawn and her frown was heavy, but she still managed to wave back at him as they drifted apart.

#Thenamesh Gladiator AU #for you my dear!!!#I hope you had a great day!#I do have other asks for this au!#there's more to come I promise!#if that is a concern you #if not...then there's nothing to worry about #this is a missing chapter per se #how we got into this mess in the first place #I know you love Gil asserting himself #and royalty has to play by a certain set of rules #there is diplomacy involved they have to watch what they say #not Gil #he's here to tell Eros he's being a prick and that he can't just throw Thena over his shoulder and walk off #Gil would sooner die #not that he's going to...#also I guess this is a fine time to say #yeah...I do birthday requests #if it's your birthday...send me an ask #and I will reeeeaaalllly try to get it out on the day #if not then soon after #because you're all so supportive #and you deserve to feel special!#also if it's belated and after the fact #even if we've never spoken a single word to each other #if it's your birthday and you have something in particular you want to read #I'll give it a shot!

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all-action-all-picture · 9 months

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Battle Action No. 228, dated 21 July 1979. H.M.S. Nightshade cover by Mike Western. Treasury of British Comics.

#21jul #1979 #hms nightshade #mike western #battle #battle action #treasury of british comics

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downthetubes · 11 months

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Out Today: the all-new Battle Action #1, available in comic shops, featuring “Johnny Red” and “HMS Nightshade”

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#Battle Action #Dan Cornwell #downthetubes News #Garth Ennis #HMS Nightshade #John Higgins #John Wagner #Johnny Red #Keith Burns #Treasury of British Comics #War Comics

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vukovich · 2 years

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Locus Pocus

Posting directly to Tumblr ~3x/wk through October, 2022. AO3 posting and final chapter on Halloween. Probably. RIP, your dash.

Details: Mystery. Probably T or M. Teddy POV.

Part One

Teddy rested his chin against the heel of his hand and let out a shuddery sigh across his knuckles. He was going to fall asleep on the table at another Weasley holiday feast. The Burrow was too warm, and he was just too full.

It was every apex predator's prerogative to eat a feast and then nap about it. Werewolves, even sixteen-year-old ones, were still apex predators. Albeit sleepy ones.

Harry nudged Teddy, shoulder-to-shoulder. "Just shift and take a nap under the table. It's slightly less rude than falling asleep on top of it."

Teddy tried to lick his chops, but it was a wolf's gesture, and it came out as something between lascivious lip-licking and blowing a raspberry.

"Teddddy?" Molly called from deeper in the kitchen. "Do you want to take the rest of the roast home?"

Teddy took a breath to shout that yes, he would always take leftover meat, but all that came out was a yawning whine.

"He says he'll take it!" Harry yelled, then shook his head softly. "Sleep. Gin'll leave after pudding and get your room made up. Your grandmum'll be by early to take you to King's Cross, so you might as well get some sleep now."

Teddy yawned again and wished his human jaws were as big as his wolf jaws. He licked his teeth and melted out of his chair. To anyone watching, he looked like a teenager who'd just sulked his way right onto the floor. To Harry and everyone else, it looked like a human dissolving and reforming as a sleepy brown wolf.

Teddy settled in on the floor as Ron returned and took his seat. He smelled faintly of owl and parchment.

"Do you know who's on patrol for Diagon Alley tonight?" Ron asked.

Harry hooked his bare feet in the side rungs of his chair. "No, why?"

Teddy's nose wiggled as he parsed out the different scents of everyone's feet. His sense of smell was keen as a human, but it was nearly telepathic as a wolf.

"There's been a homeless Muggle guy camped out in front of the Leaky for a week. Not the same guy. But always exactly one person."

There was a long silence. Hermione crossed one fluffy white sock over the other. "That's been happening at King's Cross, as well. Right across from the entrance at nine and three-quarters. Always one person, and always wearing glasses with something clipped to the side. It's a little eerie. Quite a few families are skipping the Express tomorrow and taking their children to Hogwarts themselves."

Teddy sighed and wondered; if he rolled over near Harry's chair, if maybe Harry would rub his belly. Granted, sometimes belly rubs gave him a boner, but thus far, he was pretty certain no one had noticed.

Arthur was the only one wearing shoes, and they smelled of the dirt floor of his shed. "Hm," he hummed shortly. "The Muggle police have been having issues with that in the HM Treasury lobby since summer."

Harry's feet suddenly smelled like sweat, and Teddy hid his nose under his paw. "McGonagall said something last year about several Muggles wandering into Hogsmeade. Do you think it's related?"

Teddy's mind drifted as he fell asleep to the bureaucratic chatter above him. Of course it was related. Anyone with half a nose could tell that the Muggles in Hogsmeade, and the King's Cross watcher, and probably the other people were all related.

They all smelled the same. They all smelled like absolutely nothing.

#locus pocus #teddy POV #abnormally canon compliant for me #if this ends up over 20k I quit the band

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liviavanrouge · 1 year

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Spoiled

Livia: *Smiles trying on a pink dress with strawberry prints on it, a leaf sun umbrella in her hand*

Malleus: Try on another dress...

Livia: *Vanishes behind the curtain, then comes out wearing a pale yellow dress, bluebirds on it, a blue fake rose pin in her hair* This?

Malleus: Hm, try another one

Livia: *Vanishes behind the curtain, coming back out wearing a purple dress with pink at the hem of it, a little crown on her head* How about this

Malleus: *Smiles, looking amused* Another one

Livia: *Pouts and goes back behind the curtain, coming out wearing a blue ballerina outfit, her hair up in two pigtails, blue bows keeping them together* I like this one, Mal Mal!

Malleus: ......Hm *Looks at the nervous looking royal clothes designer* bring out more outfits for her to try

Livia: *Pouts, the designer bringing over more clothes*

Malleus: Try these

Livia: *Steps behind the curtain, stepping back out, wearing a white no sleeve dress with pearls draped from her shoulder and waist*

Malleus: Gorgeous...

Livia: This one?

Malleus: Try the other two

Livia: *Sighs, feeling as if this was a fashion show*

Malleus: *Smiles, looking surprised*

Livia: *Stands in front of him, wearing an outfit made for horse riding and the hunting competitions*

Malleus: Try the last one

Livia: *Grabs the dress and hurries behind the curtain*

Malleus: *Tilts his head to the side*

Livia: *Leaps out and Beams twirling, wearing a purple dress with fake flowers on the chest part, purple ribbon shoes on her feet with flowers covering her leg up to the knee, her hair in two pigtails with purple ribbons with fake petals on them* Isnt this one pretty Mal Mal!!

Malleus: .....We'll buy all the clothes she's tried on

Livia: *Stares in shock* MAAAAALLLL MAAAALLLL!

/The next day/

Malleus: *Hands Livia a key made from a diamond* Here...

Livia: What's this?

Malleus: I ordered the miners to find you as many jewels as they could and I made you your own treasury

Livia: My....own....treasury

Malleus: I filled it with the finest of jewels and the shinest coins...

Livia: *Laughs nervously* Thanks Mal Mal

Malleus: Anything for my Beastie...

/The day after/

Livia: *Stares in shock, finding a giant library waiting for her*

Malleus: I had the library built for you, you said you loved books

Livia: W-Wow...

Malleus: I have filled it with your favorite books..history, action, adventure and fantasy

Livia: Thanks Mal Mal

Malleus: If it makes my Beastie happy it shall be done...

/two days later/

Livia: *Smiles nervously, staring at the gift in front of her*

Malleus: You mentioned to me that you always wanted to have a vacation area, so I bought land in the Land of Pyroxene, and a vacation spot is being built

Livia: Th-Thanks Malleus, this makes me happy

Malleus: *Smiles* Good

/A week later*

Livia: GRAN GRAN MALEFICIAAAAAAA!

Maleficia: *Smiles, beckoning Livia over* I'm glad you called me the way I asked to be called, you are very important to Malleus and I

Livia: Your welcome, but it's Malleus!

Maleficia: What is it?

Livia: He got me a whole chest of jewelry, the miners and jewel makers looked Bone dead tired

Maleficia: Do you not like our gift

Livia: *Stares, then smiles nervously* Of course I do, I was just surprised

Maleficia: *Smiles, looking relieved* Excellent

Livia: *Mentally cries, wondering when the spoiling would stop*

(TIMESKIP)

Livia(Sixteen years old): The spoiling never stopped, I have so many dresses, so much jewelery, three treasuries with diamond and emerald keys to them, and much more

Sebek: *Sniffs, tears threatening to fall* THE YOUNG MASTER CHERISHES MY LADY SO MUCH!!

Epel: So you're spoiled spoiled

Livia: Yep....getting spoiled by both the queen and Mal Mal...

Epel: They must really love you

Sebek: OF COURSE THEY DO!! ONE TIME MY LADY WENT MISSING, THE WHOLE DRACONIA ARMY WAS SENT OUT TO FIND HER!!

Epel: .........a whole fricking army..

Livia: They found me in three hours and I was given five bodyguards to protect me

Epel: You're so spoiled...it's not even funny anymore..

Livia: *Laughs nervously, looking embarrassed* Yeah, guess I am

#malleus twst #twst malleus #malleus draconia #twisted wonderland malleus #livia vanrouge #twst livia #twst sebek #sebek zigvolt #sebek twst #twisted wonderland sebek #twst epel #epel felmier #poor livia

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allknowingfaith · 3 months

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@celestialcomedy : x

Maybe its seeing the in tact statues looming over head, their smug expressions staring down at them from bellow, maybe it was due to them being deities themselves, or maybe it was kicking up old memories of dealing with powerful snob like those old stuck ups he used to encounter when going through trials. Hair that mimics fire crackles in the air, the mask eyes gaining a faint glow to them as he stares at the statues. Tail thrashing beside him as he stares at the statues. Form starting to melt as he glares at them from where he’s standing. Tail thrashing beside him as it darts out over the statues. Wrapping tightly around them before roughly pulling the figures down to crash against the ground. Standing over the remains as his form continues to melt, embers of fire starting to flicker to life around him. It looks like there was going to be a flash fire in the middle of the woods, one that would be coming from an irritated space being that was usually cool tempered entertainer. Eyes are darting around, it felt like someone cracked a dam. Knocking one to many times of the rebellious Jester of authoritative figures who kept their noses stuck in the air looking down at him. His head quickly snaps over to the sound of someone calling to him. Many eyes are upon him from ???. It takes a while for him to remember who they were, his mind was going foggy for a moment there. He’s glancing between them and the broken statues then towards the fires that were licking against the twigs and flowers that crept along the ground. His tail slows down enough that Jester wraps his arms around his melting form. “ Hm... Not sure about that. Never was good with orders and following them ”

“We never said you ever did.” Their voice comes as a mellowing calm, a low rumble like a faint growl that you could almost feel vibrate within the confines of your own chest. The being’s cape flutters like the stuttering form of a rapid bat’s wings, almost nearing some kin emotion that could’ve been mistaken for the wind of a mortal’s nervous unease. It had taken them quite a bit to grab your attention, to stir your focus back on the present as it had appeared to them you hadn’t been as curious to gander at some of the old history of their old grandchildren, as many of their family’s statues now crumbled into instant ruin. For when their brushing thoughts had been as frail against the confines of your hostile, unsteady mind, they had to opt for a less favorable form of communication.. And their words still feel rusty every time their vocals formed to use the moderns of old English conversation. “We’ve never seen you act so harsh towards the relics of our own history.”

They circle themselves closer into your space, lingering just a tad too close as if wanting to anticipate your next move; if hoping to restrain the melting cool of your form with their cloak would be better to reframe the inky figure of your body. When they had asked to enjoy some of your company for just a simple chat, to let themselves relax amongst another cosmic being who had seemed to be holding themselves together quite well.. They did not expect you to just thrash around their lineages’ treasury when so many of them were irreplaceable to even share. It has been ages ??? had let another god come in to take a gander at the old statues of the gods that came before this one jester.. But perhaps they had been mistaken to trust another being with a bit of their old collection of history.

But, it wasn’t like it mattered right now. Their work is never to be done. And easing the calm of their companion had to come first, even if they had to redirect them back to the softer woods of this old treasury.

“What happened to make you trigger into such a rage like that, little jester?” They asked. “Could your mask not contain all your madness?”

#A contract in the making {RP Thread}#No Comment {???}#I shape the world as I go {Canon}#long post cw //#celestialcomedy

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