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niksfics · 3 years

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↬ FATE

↬ PAIRINGS: kenma x f!reader (side aka rebound mention) miya atsumu x f!reader

↬ WARNINGS: a whole lotta angst, breakup, it’s an online relationship, kenma is cold and hurts ur feelings

↬ SUMMARY: your relationship with kenma really had felt like the last one. He was it, turns out he didn’t have similar feelings.

↬ A/N: alright loves!! This isn’t proofread at all it’s 2 in the morning I’ll edit when I wake up, butttt Thanks to my lovely ex girlfriend you are now being graced with this steaming pile of trash. (Lovely was not meant sarcastically at all she is in fact very lovely.) Ngl almost, if not all of this story is about my relationship with my ex gf. This is how I cope people. ￫ It’s taken me awhile to actually be able to right something that’s why things kinda stopped. Tbh after she broke up with me it’s been very hard for me to write so hopefully this helps! And I hope you enjoy!! I would also just like to say if it feels a lil weird it’s cause these are things I’ve actually written in my notes I tweaked it a little to fit the story but it’s straight from the source 😩

WC | 2.5K

You sighed as you opened your notes app. Your eyes scanning over all of the little facts and quirks he had told you about himself. All the stuff you’d wanted to remember. The stuff that had seemed so important to you before. Now it was meaningless, almost like facts about a stranger. Almost as if you hadn’t spent four months learning about and growing with eachother.

You scrolled down a little bit right under, how his favorite marvel character is Spider-Man and you chewed on your lip. Your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. You looked over the facts again. The things he dislikes and the stuff he adores, the things he likes to collect to the way he feels passionately about a certain topic. You begin to type.

Friday June 25th 2022 12:22 Am

I cried again tonight, because I still love you. It’s been a month and six days since we broke up. It feels like there’s a hole in my chest. You seem to be doing fine though, so I’m happy for you! This is the second time since we’ve broken up that I’ve felt actual physical emotional pain in my chest. Remember when I told you how bad it hurt after we broke up? Remember how you didn’t even ask if I was ok? Didn’t even bother to answer. Do you remember that? I remember. I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember it being so bad I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. Wasn’t until I’d called tetsu crying that he’d told me it was just emotional and I should probably try to relax.

I read through our old messages. I’ve never wanted something back so bad. Never wanted to beg anyone to stay till now. I wish you loved me like I love you. I wish I hadn’t grown so attached, wish I hadn’t fallen so deeply into love with you. I wish it wasn’t my fault that we broke up. I wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I wish I was fearless. Wish I could rise into love bravely. I wish I was brave when it came to you. I keep telling myself it was me. It was me not you. You didn’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore and you’re just too nice to say that. So you told me in the only way I could handle. Except you hadn’t used the words you should have. You got bored. We both know it’s true. You were bored of it, and I don’t blame you. I know we’ll never talk again, and part of me is so glad. Another part of me forces myself to read through all our messages though. I wish I could just tell you one last time. I love you.

You sighed saving it before closing out of it. Tears you hadn’t known were falling finally became known to you as they streamed down your cheeks. Your eyes puffy as you wet your lips, the salt of them coating your tongue. You were bitter and so were your tears. I briefly wondered what he was doing right now. Probably playing a video game. You knew his schedule all to well by now. Probably testing out a new game for his stream.

A new set of fresh tears fell as you remembered how you used to call him right before he went on. Being lulled to sleep by his occasionally curses and the clicking oh his controller or his keyboard.

You never expected things to end this way. You really thought he was the last one. Yes it had only been four months, but the way he made you feel. The way that it had felt. It had felt final, and you’d been friends before you even started dating.

You sniffle moving yourself to the kitchen to poor yourself a glass of water as you remembered how nervous you were when you first texted him. You had acumulated quite the crush on him back in high school. As Inarazaki’s manager you were required to go to the games, and even after your team lost you had stuck around. Watched him play and cheered him on. Two weeks later you had begun to text, as friends of course. It wasn’t until four months ago that you’d gotten together.

Your anniversary was only two days prior to your break up. You both had never been one to even care about that stuff. You had agreed early on in the relationship that we wouldn’t do anything due to the distance, and the business of our schedules. You were never one for remembering things like anniversaries anyways.

He really did feel like the one. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes you can just feel it. Like, you know that feeling you get when you know something is off or you know for sure something is about to happen even without being told it’s going to. That’s what it felt like to be with kozume kenma.

You thought you knew, you thought this time, this time its for real. You thought it was finally safe to say, that he was the one. You both had even admitted to looking for each others initials in those stupid soulmate tik tok videos.

You were finally in a mature relationship with someone you could talk about anything to. You had gotten so caught up in it, that you didn’t even see the end creeping up on you.

↝

You’d finally gained the courage to text him again. Unfortunately it was in a drunken daze. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with your phone typing things you’d come to regret in the morning. You’d sent him a series of texts telling him how much you missed him, how you didn’t understand how he was so okay. You had been a wreck that night. One of your friends puking in her toilet as you cried. You were happy of course that he was doing so well, but you’d been a wreck for so long and he hadn’t even changed. You told him you wished you could be okay.

When you’d awoken the next morning hair knotted in a complete mess and wiping drool from your chin your heart had sunk even lower. His response was cold. You knew that kenma could be cold. You knew that it was just who he was, but this particular text had felt so unfeeling and unfamiliar, it was as if he hadn’t even sent it himself. He had only ever talked like this to you once and that was when you first became friends all those years ago.

Kozume ❤️

Hey, it’s okay. And yeah you see what I choose to put up. I could be better. But I choose to stay optimistic and busy. Sorry that things are this way.

You had never seen so many periods in a text before. He only used grammar like that when he was peeved, and maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d done that on purpose, but it had hurt so bad. It had caused an ache so deep in your chest that you weren’t sure if you’d ever even dated him at all.

Yeah.

It was the only thing you could bring yourself to respond back with. How were you supposed to respond to that? You’d stared at it for so long and after you’d sent it you wished you had said more. Wished you would’ve said something more insightful than a simple, heartbroken, “yeah.”

Not too long later there was another ping and you held your breath. His name briefly appearing across your screen.

Yeah. I could be better. But I hope you do well soon. I’m sorry that I can’t really do much to help out

And of course you did the only thing you could do. Deflect. Pretend like you hadn’t said what you’d said not even fourteen hours ago.

No it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that you could be doing better.

He left you on seen. You knew you sounded like an asshole. At least to you, you felt like an asshole. Why couldn’t you have come up with something else. Why couldn’t you tell him the truth. Tell him how you felt. Tell him that you didn’t think you should be broken up anymore. That the month long cruel joke was over and you were ready to spend your nights falling asleep to him playing video games again. You didn’t though, and you never would. You’re not brave enough, too prideful to even try.

You swallowed down the bile rising in your throat as you realized even if you did beg him. Begged him to take you back. Tell him that you still love him. You were too late, and you just couldn’t be selfish when it comes to him. He is over you and it was so plainly obvious. You know that deep down. Know that he’s moved on, and it kills you inside. So you did the only thing you could do. Try and put it into words.

So as you lay in bed the warm body you let occupy your space sound asleep beside you, his toned blonde hair tousled slightly and you sighed. Finally away from the shenanigans of your friends you took a deep breath before you closed your eyes.

You opened up your notes app again and scrolled past the last entry. You swallowed again as you blinked the tears out of your eyes. Your thumbs beginning to move before you even gave them permission.

Wednesday June 30th 2022 1:39 Am

Here I am again. Stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for so long. You know, I write so beautifully when I’m broken. I’m most of my best work is written when I’m being torn apart. But I just, I can’t seem to find the words. I can’t seem to put it into a document and turn out little story into a different story to cope. Can’t seem to write it out. Can’t seem to move on.

I hovered over the unfollow button on your page today, to keep myself from scrolling through your things again. To keep myself from getting hurt. So I don’t have to be reminded. I want to delete it. Delete where we officially met. On a chat through my screen. I wanna wipe the messages clean. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I want to delete our conversations. The hours long talks we had, but then, what happens afterwards? What keeps the memories alive. I’d never been so in love with someone before. I’ve never actually…. Been in love before. I thought I’d been in love, but it didn’t feel like that, and losing them never hurt like this. Losing someone has never hurt this bad before.

I’ve never felt the emptiness you left so deep in my very being with anyone I’ve ever met before. I can’t seem to pull myself together. And it’s pathetic I know. It’s pathetic that I’m still here. In the same place I was a month ago. It’s about to be two months we’ve haven’t been together. I’m hurting. Hurting so bad. It’s painful to look at you.

I haven’t deleted the photos even though I probably should. They’re still tucked away in an album in my camera roll labeled “us <3” the one one I made specially just for you. The way I’d been so excited when I was finally ready to tell my friends. I even have this stupid notes folder from when we were dating where I wrote all the little things about you that I never wanted to forget. I find you so endearing. Everything you do. I just couldn’t help but right it down to keep it safe so it never leaves my mind. So that I never forget. But now, forgetting is all I want to do.

I never thought there’d be a time in my life where I was more emotionally stunted that I normally. So stunted I can’t even put this, our split up, into words. Make it something entertaining for somebody else to read. Write a book about it. My publicist keeps asking when the sequel for my book will be done. I don’t know if it’ll ever be finished. I can’t do the one thing I’ve always been good at. I’m crying as I write this.

And I wish it would just end here in this little notes app. Wish the love would die in here. I always think I’m over you and then I see you again, and nowadays your everywhere. A very big hit and I’m happy for you and your success, but seeing you makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

I think I’m over you until I play that stupid fucking game that causes me to scream at my phone, or my laptop in frustration, but I just can’t seem to delete it because I know it’s something that you love. That show we used to talk about. I know you know which one, I can’t seem to watch it without thinking of what was. You’ve ruined it forever cause now it only reminds me of you. I know you’ll never see this, but I like to imagine you can. That my time for closure has somehow come.

When you told me you were sorry that things were this way, it was a real slap in the face. It stopped my false hope. My wishing. It all came to a halt. I’m glad. Glad that you’re happier. That you’re better without me. But god, now I’m so fucked up and I can’t even talk to you.

You were the only person I had left. The only one who understood me. And now you’re gone. You took a part of me with you that night. A part that I’ll never get back. I should’ve known that you would leave. I’ve never been able to get someone to stay for longer than three to four months.

I thought I could let my guard down though. I thought we were in the clear. I’d thought finally. Finally someone is gonna stay. I thought you were my person. I still think that to this day. I thought we were gonna make it. And now I’m with this guy I don’t even like. He’s not you, he doesn’t act like you. He doesn’t like video games like you do.

He doesn’t talk to me like you do. Like you did. But you know how it ended I don’t need to put it here. Unfortunately I’ll always love you even if you don’t love me. This is so scattered, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.

With that you closed the app and put down your phone. Plugging in it and as it dinged miya atsumu rolled over in his sleep. He reached for you his hands wrapping around your waist to tug you against his strong body.

His gravely voice whispering through sleep, “mmm finally decided to come to bed?” You hum moving an arm under on of his to wrap around his thin waist. “Mhm, thought you might need the company.” You began to draw little shapes and letters against his back as he chuckled, “oh yea? How thoughtful of you princess.”

Suddenly it was quiet and your closed eyes opened to his wide brown ones, his eyebrows furrowing .

“Did you just spell kozume on my back?”

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towerfandoms · 4 years

Text

You need better music taste

A/n: Ok so this idea is based off a tik tok I saw. It’s where you’re soulmate can hear what you’re singing. And yall know how catchy the yarichin opening is. If you haven’t heard it here it is on YouTube . Anyways this is really dumb but I wrote it at 3am while I was crying over maths so here 😌😌 also I know all the i’s are lowercase, I just have auto caps off on my phone 🤧🤧

Pairings: Oikawa x reader

Genre: fluff, humour, mostly just crack tbh.

Warnings: very light swearing, Iwa constantly abusing Oikawa

*not my gif*

Nationals were coming up and Oikawa couldn’t get that stupid song ouut of his head. Normally he loved when he could hear you sing. Sometimes he’d even bop along. Lately though, you’ve taken up a new song. You could’ve chosen any other song in the world but no you had to choose the opening for Yarichin Bitch Club. And it didn’t help that the lyrics were so vulgar.

He sighed and shook his head trying to telepathically communicate to you to please shut the hell up but to no avail. He could still hear the cursed boku wa yarichin osodayo~ Damn it, this was so frustrating. He would give anything to finally meet you and tell you to please get some better taste in music. It really didn’t help his performance that this was all you had sung for the past week.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Iwaizumi could see Oikawa visibly struggling and he laughed to himself.

“Is she still singing that stupid song?” he called out, already knowing the answer.

“Yes!” wailed the setter, eager to complain for what felt like the 20th time today. “You know i searched up the lyrics cuz i was curious to see where it was from but now i really wish i hadn’t. I didn’t know my soulmate was into that kind of stuff!”

He shuddered, remembering the memory. He really thought the anime was just about a photography club.

“Just sing a really annoying song back,”

“Don’t you think i’ve tried? I even tried the Gummy Bear song but she just started singing that damn song even more,” he pouted.

“Well, you’ve got to think of something Shittykawa otherwise you’re gonna make us lose our one shot at nationals.”

“Hey! I thought we spoke about the name calling business. And don’t worry i’ll think of something.”

Thankfully by then your singing had stopped though Oikawa could still hear the God awful lyrics. But the lyrics were so catchy that the stupid song still played on replay in his head. Even when you weren’t singing you still consumed his mind. Endearing or annoying, Oikawa couldn’t tell.

After what felt like eternity, he finally finished practice without too much further nuisances so he was able to clean up and go home right on schedule.

However that night he laid awake thinking about you. In a world where you can hear your soulmate singing it shouldn’t be that hard to find out who you were and where you were. There was just a teeny problem though. He was scared. Neither of you had ever tried to contact the other person through singing. He at least knew you lived in their prefecture because you’d always be singing along to the songs from the local radio station.

Oikawa sighed, wondering if you two would ever meet. Maybe not. He was much too preoccupied with volleyball and you were too busy singing your,,, tasteful music.

Suddenly though, an idea hit him that shook him right out of his somber mood. He quickly grabbed his phone from his bedside table and texted his best friend.

Oikawa: Iwachan, you up?

Iwachan: What do you want Stupidkawa, it’s 2am.

Oikawa: I have a plan to find my soulmate 😌 But I need your help. Meet me in front of A-33 tomorrow at the start of lunch.

Iwachan: Tch. Why do you need me there.

Oikawa: Please, I’d rather die than be seen alone in front of the anime club. What if people think i’m an otaku 🤮

Iwachan: Says the same man who cried watching Banana Fish 🙄🙄

Oikawa: SHUT UP! Just say yes please ;)

Iwachan: 🙄🙄🙄 Only to make sure you turn up to practice on time. Now i’m going to bed 👋

Oikawa: Thank you Iwa~

The next day, Iwa was waiting impatiently for Oikawa in front of the room used for the anime club. He was getting a few odd looks but he didn’t really care. Finally, he saw Oikawa rounding the corner.

“Yahoo~ Iwachan, sorry i’m late,” chuckled Oikawa, not looking the least bit apologetic.

Rolling his eyes, all Hajime replied with was a simple “Whatever, Shittykawa,”

The two men stood awkwardly outside the door unsure what to do.

“So…” began Oikawa, trailing off.

“So? Don’t look at me, she’s your soulmate! Is she still singing?”

“Yeah, she’s been singing for the last ten minutes. It’s rather cute actually.”

Iwwizumi had rolled his eyes so many times by this point he was sure his eyes were going to get stuck. But he wanted to get this over and done with so Oikawa could finally focus on practicing. Taking the lead, he grabbed the handle of the door and slowly turned it as to not startle anyone inside. The two boys took a peek in and were startled to see just you in the club room singing along as you did some work.

You were singing along to the yarichin opening-

“Damn, I didn’t know my soulmate could sing such dirty thin- agh damnit Iwa that hurt!” Oikawa was cut off before he could finish that sentence. However, you were very surprised to see two members of the volleyball team in the anime club. The two best looking at that.

“I- uh, huh?” you started, not really sure what to say.

“I think you’re my soulmate,” stated Oikawa confidently enough, though inside he was extremely nervous.

If iwaizumi wasn’t here he would’ve ran away so fast. He couldn’t help it, you were breath taking. He already loved your voice, but now your face too? Man, he was counting his blessings and praising the Gods above.

“Wait, how- oh.” You simply stated as realization hit you. He had to listen to this song on repeat.

“Damn, didn’t get annoying having to hear this song everyday?” you questioned aloud, your brain still malfunctioning because he was here! Your soulmate was actually here and he didn’t seem to be too mad.

“Oh believe me it did,” he replied deadpan, though not without a mischievous glint in his eyes. “However I did try to combat it by playing Dance Monkeys and Gummy bear all day.”

“So that was you!” you retorted angrily. “I hope you realize the reason i sang this song all day yesterday was to pay you back for playing that awful song!”

Oikawa only laughed, his heart softening and how cute you looked angry. He had only just met you and already fell in love.

“Yknow, if you’ve got nothing better to do you can always come watch us play volleyball,” he offered with a cheeky smile, vaguely gesturing at the empty room.

“Oh shush you, the other members are out right now. But I guess that means I can come watch you. Let me just gather my stuff though.”

“Alright, alright. We’ll be down in the gym. You can sit on the bleachers and do your homework there. Ok bye bye now!” he quickly said as he was dragged out of the room by Iwaizumi but not before he also said a farewell of his own.

You smiled softly to yourself, feeling your face heat up at the thought of actually meeting your soulmate. He was so cute and funny, even if he could be a dick at times.

Once outside the room, Iwaizumi let go of the death grip he had on Oikawa.

“Happy now?” he asked.

“Very,” was all that Oikawa said though the light spring in his step and stupid grin on his face said all that he felt.

He couldn’t wait to get to know you.

#haikyuu tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa imagine #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #tooru x reader #hq oikawa #hq anime #haikyuu!!#Tooru oikawa #Haikyuu oikawa #tooru oikawa x reader

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