#help wikipedia is going to send me to my grave
Note
May I request some min/inkling incorrect quotes? (Can be romantic or platonic either one is fine :D)
Will do ^^
Sorry this took so long :')
•─────✦─────•
Min: I swear if I see one of them running off again without a plan, I'll make sure to mark their grave-
Inkling: I'll... I'll keep that in mind...
─────────────────────
Inkling: *is showing Min a very old map*
Min: Wait a moment, there's a path here and here that isn't documented, as well as-
Inkling: *look of pure love and adoration*
─────────────────────
Kwazii: *trying to explain current meme culture*
Inkling: So basically, I have to go searching for beans at 2am with friends?
Kwazii: Well no-
Inkling, already on the phone with Min: Min, I have a proposition to make.
─────────────────────
Min: Oh my stars. Do you know what this is?
Inkling: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library. My library specifically.
─────────────────────
Min, trying to text Inkling: O
Inkling: What?
Min: Don’t read into that. Please...
Inkling: I will read into that.
Min: How? It's just a letter. A single letter.
Inkling: Why is there a space after it, hmmmmm? There's meaning behind it!
Min: Really Professor? It's a letter, that's all.
Inkling: It could stand for something.
Min: I promise you that it stands for nothing.
Inkling: Like Oppression! Or worse,
Min: Professor, I accidentally hit the letter "O" and hit send.
Inkling: Optometrist.
Min looking up from her phone: • - •
─────────────────────
Inkling and Min: *having a joke argument*
Min: You know what? I'm going to prove that I'm correct with solid facts!
Inkling: I will too
Inkling: *grabs a book with the proper information*
Min: *pulls up Wikipedia and edits the article just to mess with Inkling*
─────────────────────
Min drawing out a map: I've connected the two dots-
Inkling looking over her shoulder: It seems you have.
Kwazii vibrating in the corner whispering the meme under the breath: hhhhhhhhhh
─────────────────────
Min: Help! I’m drowning!
Inkling: Calm down, we’re only in six feet of water!
Min: NOT ALL OF US ARE SEA CREATURES INKLING-
─────────────────────
Min: Good morning Professor!
Inkling, who hasn't slept in days: ... What?
─────────────────────
Inkling: You spent all our money on... this?
Min, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this. Trust me.
─────────────────────
Min: Are you busy?
Inkling: Yes.
Min: Cool, have a look at this if you may-
•─────✦─────•
I see these two as such a chaotic duo and I have no idea why. Super nice people, insanely smart, and while they have basic logic and common sense they would end up doing the stupidest things known to man.
Once again I'm sorry for this taking so long, my brain lowkey evaporated on me lol.
Request and such are still open ^^
#octonauts#professor inkling#Min#octonauts min#min the mapmaker#Octonauts Professor Inkling#Octonauts Min the Mapmaker#Inkling and Min#Professor Inkling and Min#Professor Inkling and Min the Mapmaker#ask#octonauts kwazii#kwazii
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reading the post-vulgate, part 3 (the death of arthur)
"for [the king] loved the queen without measure, so that he could not love more" - is there such thing as "respectfully disbelieve" similar to "respectfully disagree", because sorry, but I respectfully don't believe this
Guinevere wearing a red dress to her execution... slay
I'm still extremely curious as to at which point Gareth replaced Gaheris as Gawain's favourite brother whose death at Lancelot's hands becomes the last straw for Gawain and is deeply regretted by Lancelot himself. Was it because Gaheris as the favourite brother was at odds with him killing Morgause? Did Malory introduce this?
"Gaheriet’s place was taken by a young and good knight named Gaheris of North Wales" and it's just Gaheriet/Gaheris of Orkney in a wig and with a fake moustache
"Kay, who saw clearly that he could not go with the army, had himself taken to Normandy to the house of a maiden who had been his fiancée" this is the first time in the entire cycle his fiancée is mentioned. The man knew how to keep his life private
"There was much good in Mordred" so now, after shitting at him for so many chapters, you're admitting it
they tied Mordred's dead body to a horse and are dragging it so that it gets torn to pieces. God.
also curious as to at which point Bedivere replaced Griflet as the one to throw Excalibur into the lake. Wikipedia just says he assumes this role in the English texts in contrast to Griflet in the French ones, but... why? Because the English audience is more familiar with him than with Griflet?
my understanding is that Morgan's ladies cast some enchantment to make it seem like they're burying the body, because in truth there was just Arthur's helmet in the grave
“Oh, cursed sea, full of bitterness and sorrow, evil, unknowing, and unknown, cruelly have you afflicted me who have taken from me the most loyal lover in the world and his love.” oh this is beautiful
the dying Guinevere asks her friend to cut out her heart when she dies and put it in Lancelot's helmet and send it to Lancelot and dear god what is wrong with everyone in the Post-Vulgate
I am fascinated by Mark destroying Arthur's legacy because Mark's role as a character is very similar to Arthur's (a king whose wife cheats on him with a younger man that is close to him), but where Arthur is tragic and noble and sinful and monstrous at the same time, Mark is just despicable. I'm sure there are texts in which he's portrayed in a more favourable light - there's a retelling of Tristania by Joseph Bédier in my TBR pile which, I believe, does that - but as far as I remember, in all texts I've read so far he's pretty unlikeable even before his marriage to Isolde, as he believes the prophecy that Tristan will destroy him and secretly hates him because of that, and later he just keeps being portrayed as so pathetic and mean that one cannot help but feel Tristan and Isolde are right to betray him because he fucking sucks. Everything you've built will be destroyed by the guy who is like you but worse, a wannabe-you of sorts, and he won't even manage to build anything in its place because he'll also get killed. Now that is the punishment for your sins.
#i found this version of the death of arthur too condensed#(they're right to condense the war against the romans but where's all the angst? where are the emotions? hello???)#but that ending with king mark is something that'll definitely stay with me for a long time#arthurian legends#arthuriana#gella talks arthuriana#talk talk talk#king arthur#guinevere#gareth#gaheris#mordred#bedivere#griflet#king mark
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yes hello I don’t know if anyone on here is familiar with the 1957 academy award-nominated pixilated short A Chairy Tale by noted gays Norman McLaren and Claude Jutra but this interpretation of it is KILLING ME
#norman mclaren#claude jutra#academy awards#bafta#quebec film#topping#bottoming#i guess#help wikipedia is going to send me to my grave
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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed - Episode 02
Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes!
(Masterpost ) (Previous Episode) (Next Episode)
Donkey Riding
way ho and away we go, donkey riding donkey riding
way ho and away we go, riding on a donkey
Wei Wuxian and Apple are doing their best for the Ministry of Culture and Tourism.
Xiao Zhan had trouble riding the donkey sitting side-saddle, so the Department of Questionable Practical Effects made him a fake leg to wear while riding regular style.
Can you spot it? It’s very hard to spot. It is very convincing.
Simple Pleasures
Wei Wuxian takes his time wandering up the nearest mountain, and half of the cultivators in the land also wander up this mountain because...Night Hunting! The cultivators are hot and thirsty from walking because they forgot that they all know how to fly.
Wei Wuxian relaxes by a well and listens to people stanning him.
Also
I’m going to say it: Wei Wuxian never met a drinking vessel he couldn’t blow.
Everything is Beautiful at the Ballet
The actress who plays A-Yan is named Zhang Linran. She probably has studied dance since she was 4 and now she gets her big break which turns out to be feeding an apple to a donkey. So let’s pause for a second to look at how beautifully she moves.
Reunions are Awkward, Part 1
Wei Wuxian meets up with one of his family members and it goes super well.
I...like Jin Ling? He’s much less of a douchebag than his dad, his uncles Jin, Jiang, and Mo (the three stooges), and every damn one of his Jin cousins. He’s genuinely brave (his Dad’s primary good quality) and his hair is on fleek. He’s still a whiny diaper baby, but I like him.
(much more after the cut!)
Then Jiang Cheng shows up, looking fine as hell and radiating peak arrogant-prick energy.
When he discovers that ‘Mo Xuanyu” stuck a piece of paper to Jin Ling, he tells the child to literally murder him. Excellent uncleing! A+++++ would recommend.
“In fact, literally murder anyone who uses Yiling Laozu’s tools, like talismans, lure flags, or spirit compasses - basically murder everyone in the Lan Clan plus those other fanboys we saw coming up the hill. Then get out there and make some friends, goddamn it!”
These nets full of cultivators on this daytime night hunt are the only time we ever see anything in a net during a night hunt. In fact dudes constantly go night hunting and the only prey we ever see is rock lady, murder turtle, and a couple of rag mops in the lake.
You Are Not Qualified to Speak to Me
Also radiating arrogant-prick energy on this occasion is Lan Wangji. He has been using pettiness as a weapon since long before he met this Jiang Cheng turkey, and he *brings it* when Jiang Cheng tries to have a conversation with him.
Letting your eyes wander everywhere except to his punchable face while you ignore his passive-aggressive questions? Quality work.
Dropping a silence spell on his child and then letting your own child explain it to him? Golden.
Lan Wangji is never ever going to forgive Jiang Cheng for what he did on cliff day, and his silence here is as pointed as an ice pick. I suspect the last words Lan Wangji actually spoke to him were “Jiang Wanyin, stop it,” sixteen years ago.
Jiang Cheng is actually the bigger person in this particular interaction, visibly mastering his temper and telling Jin Ling to take his medicine.
Reflecting
Wei Wuxian hangs out by a beautiful river and hallucinates for a while. River Jiang Yanli is nurturing and River Jiang Cheng is pissed off, so there are no surprises there. River Jiang Cheng thinks that Wei Wuxian is a promise-breaking douchebag. He’s not exactly wrong.
Courtesy of convenient gossiping cultivators, Wei Wuxian discovers that the 16 year old arrogant kid from the Jin clan who his brother from the Jiang clan has custody of is actually and quite obviously Jin Rulan.
Well fuck I guess now I care about something, that’s inconvenient.
Needing to help parent the child of the sister who parented him is what draws Wei Wuxian fully into his new life.
As soon as he has this realization, Apple comes back from roaming around, and never gives him any trouble after this for the rest of the story. Which...probably doesn’t mean anything.
Wen Gravesite
Does Wen Ning hang out here because it’s where he and his (dead) people came from? Oh great, now I am sad.
Judging by all the leaves on this grave thingy I’m going to say that this grave tender dude is, ah, not very good at his job.
Get him, Jingyi!
I feel like maybe we all focus too much on how Lan Jingyi is so hilarious and sardonic and not enough on how he is a such a biscuit.
Soul Grass
As mentioned in the previous post, Chinese spiritual concepts don’t always translate well into English. Soul grass? Sure, why not.
This is where Wei Wuxian’s Sherlock Holmes brain starts to work, although he still doesn’t remember really basic stuff about Dafan Mountain. Dying and changing bodies is rough on the old neurochemistry. This creates more opportunities for flashbacks, however, and if there’s one thing The Untamed deffo needs more of, it’s kissing flashbacks.
Temple Statue
Presumably grave-tender dude is also in charge of clearing away spiderwebs at the temple, because it’s not getting done.
Jin Ling walks into the temple blaspheming at full volume.
Since this isn’t a Greek story, he isn’t immediately struck blind for this. Then when he wishes for the statue to come alive, it obligingly does. Everything’s coming up Rulan!
Wei Wuxian shows up to rescue all the kids by throwing talismans at the monster which does not tip anyone off to who he is.
Baby Cultivator Babysitting
Lan Wangji chills out in the cultivators’ pavilion with Jiang Cheng and their mutual hate boners.
Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian forgets all about his nephew and turns into cool professor guy, explaining the basics of soul-eating to the baby cultivators and gleefully encouraging their fear of Hanguang-Jun’s punishments.
Because the Lan babies are good filial children they are super respectful and engaged with this random adult who is lecturing them. They also - like their own Hanguang-Jun at their age - see and admire Wei Wuxian’s intellect. It’s easy to forget how extremely smart Wei Wuxian is, because of how extremely dumb Wei Wuxian is.
Lan Jingyi suddenly figures out Wei Wuxian is not crazy.
Bis. Kit.
Then Rock Lady shows up and Jin Ling sticks 6 arrows into her while Lans Jingyi and Sizhui stand around not bothering to draw their swords.
I see a lot of comments about the bad effects in the statue sequences but I think Rock Lady is all right. The figure animation is decent and the lighting is no worse on her than on everything else in the scene. Her hair is nice, for a rock person.
Admittedly I just finished watching Guardian which has CGI monsters so bad they may have injured my retinas and possibly also my DNA, so the bar, for me, is pretty low. Rock lady clears it with room to spare.
Note: Wei Wuxian’s flute playing does zippity towards controlling the statue. Not sure what his plan was here.
Wen Ning Kicks Ass
Now we get to meet Wen Ning, who appears to be a stone-cold badass. Later we will discover how hilariously inaccurate that assessment is.
While all versions of Wen Ning are delightful, this version of Wen Ning is also...strangely attractive? He’s got a Patti-Smith-Horses-Era vibe here, instead of his more usual lost-baby-dork vibe. And his dreamy “I have nails in my head” expression is intriguing.
I mean, he’s not a total snack like zombie Song Lan or pre-zombie Song Lan or blind Song Lan or post-zombie Song Lan, but this look is a good one for Wen Ning, is what I’m saying.
Reunions are Awkward, Part 2
Lan Wangji, who has 99% already recognized Wei Wuxian because of the haunted sword and the fierce jawline and beautiful neck and tiny tiny waist, is summoned by his flute playing as inexorably as the Ghost General was.
Jiang Cheng also recognizes Wei Wuxian and goes into full beatdown mode, thwarted (silently) by Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian attempts to preserve his incognito by sassing Jiang Cheng in as sibling-like a manner as possible.
Hanguang-Jun’s Pro-Ghost Agenda Has Been Clear for Some Time
This Jiang/Lan fight is hilarious when you consider the implications.
Macroexpression vs. Microexpression
Mo Xuanyu brought Wei Wuxian back using sacrifice summons, a dark ritual invented by Wei Wuxian that he, most likely, did NOT show to Lan Wangji back in the day. So it’s a pretty safe bet that Lan Wangji doesn’t know that Wei Wuxian was gifted a body, rather than stealing one.
when your brother turns around, you must whip him
you will never live it down unless you whip him
When Jiang Cheng lets loose with Zidian, it’s not just because he’s angry. He’s using purple power to force Wei Wuxian’s ghost out of the body he’s apparently possessed. And Lan Wangji instantly STOPS him from doing that.
Clan Leader Jiang: this person has been possessed, against their will, by an evil ghost
Future Chief Cultivator Lan: Counterpoint: I am banging the ghost
Flashback Time
Welcome to your 30-episode flashback!
Once I used to join in
Every boy and girl was my friend
Now there's revolution, but they don't know
What they're fighting
Let us close our eyes
Outside their lives go on much faster
Oh, we won't give in
We'll keep living in the past
Road Tripping to Summer School
Gosh I’m looking forward to younger, kinder, more relatable Jiang Cheng.
...prick.
Incidentally, until now this episode didn’t know that Jiang Cheng has smile muscles, and neither did the person who glued his wig on for him.
I Like Rabbits
Here we have our first rabbit in a large collection of rabbit iconography that appears in The Untamed.
Instead of sending everyone to the Wikipedia page for Tu'er Shen I’m going to take this opportunity to rec the short film Kiss of the Rabbit God by Andrew Thomas Huang (tw: blood, tw:body-mod cutting) which you can read about and watch over at Nowness.com
Particularly if you are a queer person of Chinese heritage, check it out.
So. What the fuck are these? Are they food?
Are they made from wax? Or corn starch? or pig intestines?
Wei Wuxian runs off to get laid drunk and Jiang Cheng grumps about it. Jiang Yanli reminds him that being free is a Jiang Clan Rule, so really Wei Wuxian is following the rules by not following the rules. Does that mean he’s not free? My head hurts.
Jiang Cheng: yes but grump grump grump
Jiang Yanli: Nothing bad will ever happen because of A-Xian’s choices, trust me
Outro
Wei Wuxian faint tally: one Caught by: the cold hard ground
Soundtrack: 1. Donkey Riding by Great Big Sea 2. Living in the Past by Jethro Tull 3. Whip It by Devo
Fic prompt: Lan Wangji’s internal monologue while he sits in the pavilion with Jiang Cheng
If you write a fic from this prompt and want to share, please post a link in comments!
Bonus: Wang Zuocheng, macro-expression king
Episode 03 Restless Rewatch coming soon!
#the untamed#fytheuntamed#the untamed spoilers#the untamed gifs#the untamed stills#my gifs#my stills#restless rewatch#restless rewatch the untamed#canary3d-original#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#lan wangji#lan jingyi#c-drama#bl drama#the untamed memes
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Well I haven’t watched sp all the way through for about a decade now, so I thought it was time
Sometimes I wonder how accurate the fandom is when it comes to how we interpret the characters. Like, why is Stan a football star so often in fanfic and why’s Kyle always the smart one? So I thought I’d rewatch the show and make notes along the way to see where the source of all these interpretations is. I also wanted to see if I could get some fun info to analyze, but season 1 is pretty sparse in that regard so there’s not too much of that in this post, but I’ll make a post for all the other seasons too as I watch them
In summary, it’s established in season 1 already that Stan’s a star quarterback and an animal lover, Kyle’s an A+ student, and Kenny is poor and knows a lot about sex and doesn’t have many qualms about doing crazy shit. Cartman is a bit weird since he’s mostly just a naive brat in this season, but he and Kyle have a mildly antagonistic friendship already
I have all my notes under this cut. They include a bunch of small details and other observations. I also listed every Kenny death just because
Ike has freckles
Cartman says “Weak!” and “You guys” and “Seriously” a lot from the start, also “Kickass!” He doesn’t say weak or kickass much in the later seasons iirc
Stan says “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here” three times in this season but they dropped that catchphrase pretty quickly
Bebe got named in episode 2
Stan’s been an animal lover since s01e03 Volcano since he won’t shoot a bunny or anything else. He does shoot Scuzzlebutt at the end though
Cartman’s a pathological liar but in a childish way
Randy got named in s01e03 Volcano (and it only got worse from there)
The mayor went to Princeton
South Park is next to Mt. Evanson
Kenny will literally drink gasoline
Stan’s a star quarterback in 3rd grade
Clyde’s voice is wrong as hell in S01E04 Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride and he has a dog, Rex
Garrison says Kyle is an A+ kid
Shelly seriously abuses Stan, punching him, throwing him, maiming him with a lawnmower
Cartman had a pot-bellied pig called Fluffy
Cartman’s mom smokes crack and has sex with strange men
Dr. Mephesto is probably a Buddhist since he says “Thank Buddha” instead of “Thank God”
Clyde’s voice gets kind of fixed in S01E06
A guy called Mr. McCormick is killed in a protest, launched and splattered against a network building. He doesn’t look like Kenny’s dad though
Zombie Clyde attacks Bebe, rude
Wendy gave her costume contest prize (2 tons of candy) to hungry children in Nairobi
Cartman’s mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. “Back do’ ho… Five on one action!” is the headline
Cartman genuinely cries at Kenny’s grave after the whole zombie thing but gets over it because of candy
Stan knows his mom’s credit card number and has no problem using it to adopt an Ethiopian child (the boys wanted a watch that came with the adoption, they weren’t doing it to be nice)
Cartman calls Stan a vas deference, Stan doesn’t know what that is so Kenny says “Dude, it’s a pipe for your peepee” (according to a transcript). Kenny sure knows male anatomy
Kyle sniffs Kenny after Cartman asks why poor people smell like sour milk and Garrison says “idk eric they just do”
Cartman thinks poor people should die and decrease the surplus population
When the boys get Starvin’ Marvin delivered to them, Cartman says “Hey mom, we found an Ethiopian, can we keep him?” and his mom says “Sure, hun.” She rarely says no to Cartman
Kenny’s dad is an alcoholic who drinks scotch according to Cartman. I mean, Mr. McCormick is seen drinking in multiple episodes and has a hat that says SCOTCH so it’s probably true
Kenny’s family says grace
Craig’s first appearance is S01E09. Also, S01E09 is the first time Kenny doesn’t die (Coincidence? I THINK yeah but it’s still fun)
Clyde got named in S01E10
Clyde and Bebe both spit on Pip’s face, friendship goals <3
Cartman and Kyle have their first fight at Cartman’s birthday party because Kyle didn’t give the right gift. Cartman slaps his face and screams “I hate you! I want you to die! Die!” while on top of Kyle who’s not really fighting back
Satan throws a fight with Jesus after everyone except Satan bet that Jesus would lose, which leads to Satan winning everyone’s money. Mr. Garrison says “What a mean thing to do!” and Jimbo says “He is a jerk!” and I thought it was quite a laugh so I wrote it down
In S01E11 Tom’s Rhinoplasty Bebe and Wendy are sitting in the swings together and generally appear together throughout the episode, then Bebe gives Wendy a makeover so they’re bffs obviously <3
Craig first appears in the classroom, though not sitting down, in S01E11
Wendy’s not happy about Ms. Ellen taking Stan away from her, she says “Don’t fuck with me! Stay away from my man, bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho ass back to last year!”
Kenny gives Ms. Ellen a scrumptious looking sausage as a valentine’s gift and giggles deviously. Wendy’s gift to Ms. Ellen is a dead animal
Even Kenny doesn’t know what a lesbian is
Wendy’s grandma died in S01E11
Wendy gets Ms. Ellen killed by hiring the Iraqi government (?) to put her in a rocket and shoot it into the sun, then she and Bebe have a pool party (very cool, they wear sunglasses 😎) and watch the rocket hit the sun
Cartman and Pip play a game of kicking each other in the nuts until someone falls. Cartman calls it “Roshambo”
Kenny has a sack of marbles
The boys aren’t fans of Barbra Streisand, but Stan is a fan of the Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway (he’s not a quarterback anymore, he’s an American football executive and the president of football operations for the Denver Broncos of the NFL according to wikipedia.)
Officer Barbrady is a fan of Fiona Apple (who was 20 at the time and had only one album released called Tidal)
Ned knows how to pilot a helicopter
Kyle’s mom is a fan of Streisand unlike literally everyone else, she even gets an autograph from Mecha Streisand
The boys are fans of Robert Smith, the lead singer of The Cure. Stan says “Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!” and Kyle says “Disintegration is the best album ever!” and Cartman says “Robert Smith kicks ass!” and Kenny’s dead so he doesn’t get to have an opinion
Cartman has tea parties with his toys: Polly Prissypants, Clyde frog, Peter Panda, and a dragon called Rumpertumskin
Kyle wants to make fun of Cartman for the tea party but Stan stops him because he’s concerned that Cartman needs help
Craig is in front of the school counselor’s office in S01E13
A young miss Cartman drinks like a motherfucker at the 12th annual drunken barn dance where Cartman was supposedly conceived
Stan lets Cartman borrow his bike like a good friend
Garrison wanted to have a threesome with Chef and Cartman’s mom. I don’t know why I’m making a note of this but uh… yeah.
Cartman’s mom has had sex with everyone at this bar that Garrison’s drinking at, including principle Victoria, the mayor, Father Maxi, and Jesus (and maybe Kenny’s dad since he’s at the bar but the camera doesn’t pan to him when Garrison says they’ve all slept with Liane). Later Gerald Broflovski is a possible father to Eric, so he fucked her too. Also Mr. Mephesto and his friend Kevin, that little guy, are candidates along with a lot of other people, including the 1989 Denver Broncos (and Mr. Tenorman is included in that later)
Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kyle for being Jewish much at all in this season even though the Christmas episode is all about Kyle not celebrating
Clyde and Token appear very early on and Clyde has always been in the classroom (along with Bebe, Red, Kevin Stoley, Wendy, and Pip and uhh DogPoo too I think). Craig appears later in the season and Tweek’s not in season 1 at all, so Craig’s gang isn’t really a thing yet
And here’s a list of the ways Kenny died in this season. He dies in every episode except episode 9, and he dies twice in episodes 2 and 3. Altogether he dies 14 times
S01E01 Killed after alien shoots him, cows stampede over him, then cop runs him over which finally actually kills him
S01E02 Killed in a play by a falling teepee, then a second time shot by Garrison which sends him in the air and he gets impaled on a flagpole on the way down
S01E03 Killed by a volcano rock that burns him then rolls on him but he’s alive again in the end but gets shot by Ned’s gun that he drops and it accidentally goes off
S01E04 Gets his arms and head torn off in an American football game
S01E05 Stan’s clone punches Kenny into a microwave where he gets cooked alive
S01E06 Death touches Kenny
S01E07 Kenny gets crushed by a Russian space station and turns into a zombie because he gets Worcestershire sauce in his veins, then Kyle chainsaws zombie Kenny in half, then zombie Kenny rises from his grave and is crushed by a statue and a plane
S01E08 Kenny is killed by a bunch of turkeys. His eye gets plucked out. It’s dark blue
S01E10 After Kenny gets turned into a duck-billed platypus, Jimbo and Ned shoot him
S01E11 Ms. Ellen throws a sword through Kenny’s face
S01E12 While Mecha Streisand and a giant robot Leonard Maltin fight, Kenny plays with a tetherball and gets the rope wrapped around his neck and it strangles him
S01E13 Kenny gets stuck on a go kart and it drags him around but stops and he’s still alive! Too bad the go kart stops on train tracks and a train runs him over. Stan’s grandpa sends a video of the event to America’s Stupidest Home Videos and wins $10,000
If you read all that, first of all hello. I’m not new to the fandom even though this is the first thing I’ve posted on this tumblr blog. I’ve been writing a fanfic called Caffetamine though so I’m not a complete non-entity. Anyway, I’ll watch season 2 soon and post my notes on that too probably.
#south park#sp rewatch#i made way too many notes#kenny used to get dialog in almost every episode#poor kenny#he really gets shafted later
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Uh hi, would it be cool if I asked you to elaborate your feelings on Lucifer? He may not be my favorite, but I love seeing people talk about him and his actions/feelings/etc
thank you for sending this ask! i’m sorry i went on such a long rant ahaha but this is only mostly based on lesson 6 alone bc if i were to talk about everything, it would probably be too long. still, i hope you enjoy this even if you disagree with what i say.
i want to preface this with saying that i haven’t read a lot of the devilgram stories in which i know there are a lot of background stories/character developments. so i can’t fully say that this is all based on in-game facts but rather a mix of that and a few conjectures i make from what i’ve read in the canon story line (plus maybe too much empathy on my side lol).
first and foremost, let’s point out the obvious - lucifer is the avatar of pride. i think a lot of his actions reflects that or, perhaps even more aptly, a lot of his actions stem from that. the pride he has i don’t believe is wrongly had. from what the rest of the characters have said, in the celestial realm, lucifer was heavily revered and incredibly admired. he commanded respect. he was beautiful. i think there’s an intense sense of pride and worth that comes with being put on such a pedestal. you have to also remember that he has not lost that even if he has fallen from grace. even by diavolo’s side, as his number 2 so to speak, he’s given an equal amount (if not more) of reverence.
but what is pride? in most cases (that being the more negative perspective), it is described as the most serious, most deadly of the seven sins. borrowing from the deadly sins wikipedia page, pride is often seen as dangerously corrupt selfishness, the putting of one’s own desires, urges, wants and whims before the welfare of other people.
and based on that definition alone, i really don’t see lucifer as being incredibly prideful. with lucifer, i’ve always understood it as being the other way around. he places a lot of importance on diavolo and his loyalty to him and sometimes it’s to the point of overexertion and overextension of himself. but, i think a lot of that actually is rooted in how important his brothers are to him.
anyone can see just how much how he cares about them, i think, but that often doesn’t translate well into his words (bc his pride aha), especially when he’s in front of his brothers.
(side note: for me, one of the more memorable instances of when he does say something is that part in the storyline when he, mammon, levi and satan were transported into that game and he got real angry at in-game cerberus and threatened to do terrifying things to cerberus if even a finger was laid on satan lol).
rather, i think he much prefers showing them he cares through his actions but most of the time, that’s just seen as him being overbearing, overprotective and suffocating which is fair. i think this screencap sums up how he feels about his brothers quite well, especially to mc who is essentially an outsider to him early on in the game:
he respects their freedom to do as they wish but if anything ever threatens the peace he has tried to create for all of them, of course, he’s going to do something about it.
i think in the end, for him, it boils down to power, control and facing the consequences of your own actions.
lucifer had been powerless. he had lost the war that he waged, had dragged his siblings down with him in the process, had lost his beloved sister because of it. he’d been powerless, again, when she was dying and he couldn’t do anything to save her. he had to depend on someone else, had to swallow up his pride and pledge his loyalty to this person.
that’s why he works so hard, i think, to keep himself and his brothers in line because he is indebted to diavolo, because this is him showing his gratitude to diavolo for essentially saving him and his brothers, because he can’t afford to lose this life too. i think that’s why he does things that might seem dumb sometimes - because he’s afraid even another toe slightly out of line could mean another grave loss, one that he may not be able to recover from.
that’s where his controlling nature comes from too, i think. he’s had very little in the way of control before. he couldn’t save himself, his brothers or his sister, had no control over his own fate, had no control over anything, really, so this manifests in him wanting to control everything around him instead. in 6-6 (duty bound), he says this:
and i think this is a nice look into how he had been at one point. he had no choice. he couldn’t have what he wanted. no choice, no control. so now he has to make sure everything goes the way he wants because if it doesn’t, who knows what will happen to him but even more so to his brothers?
it’s not like he’s doing all of this because he wants to but, rather, because he thinks he has to. though i suppose over the years, he might have developed something similar to a want for it. sometimes, i think he finds too much pleasure in ‘punishing’ his brothers but maybe that’s bc it’s the only way he knows to bond with them lol. but yeah, above all, i believe a lot of the things (though not everything) he does is with his brothers’ wellbeing in mind.
all of this i think is nicely summed up by, interestingly enough, diavolo himself in 6-12 (who’s the liar here?):
isn’t it interesting that diavolo brings it up? isn’t it? i think so 👀
and lastly, facing the consequences of one’s own actions. he had done things that he is, at this moment, still feeling the repercussions of. i think it’s something along the lines of your actions have consequences and this had been my consequence and i don’t want this to happen to you. that’s probably partly why he does what he does.
another interesting thing to note: he’s prideful enough that sometimes, i think, he doesn’t see his wrongdoings. but other times, he recognises his errors and does try to rectify it (although this one in particular was a lousy apology imo lolol u tried to kill me and u want to make it up by taking me out for a meal? the audacity.)
but anyways, i think that’s all about i want to say here. this answer got wayyy too long lol. these are all, of course, just my opinion and may even be like biased and pulled out of my ass lol. maybe i’m giving him way too much credit lolol who knows? you’re free to disagree with me and completely write me off. i’m not about to tell people who you should like or dislike, and i’m not going to tell you that all his actions are justified either. i just want to try and frame his character in a way that may help people understand him better hehe. but yeah. that’s it. thank you for this ask again!!
#sorry i talked too much sakjdjas#obey me#obey me swd#obey me lucifer#i hate that the read more puts everything under the cut boooo
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A friend who wishes to remain anonymous, has asked us for a list of funny fics, maybe with some college aus, or fake dating.
We are here, of course, to oblige:
no one’s got me quite like you - loveontherocks | T, 15k, complete
Andrew nudges Ryan’s shoulder. “I have a question: are you and Shane busy tonight?”
Aside from general editing, Ryan doesn’t recall having any plans for the rest of the day. He can’t necessarily speak for Shane, but chances are he doesn’t either, unless Netflix and Chill with his cat counts.It doesn’t.
“No?” he says, cautiously, because for the most part, when BuzzFeed employees ask him these things, it’s usually for something that he doesn’t necessarily want to do. But for the sake of views, Ryan tends to sacrifice himself.
“Cool. We’re doing a video.” Andrew turns to walk away, like that’s the end of the conversation, but Ryan calls after him.
“About what?”
or; today on worth it, shane and ryan evolve into a couple during three double dates at three drastically different prices.
want you in my room - beethechange | E, 13k, complete
As they watch, Tall Guy takes his beanie off, revealing a mess of thick, shiny brown hair. He runs his hand through it to shake out the hat hair and Ryan feels like he’s stuck in an Herbal Essences commercial, except he’s the one making inappropriate lustful noises.
Ryan adjusts his snapback, determined. He is, after all, wearing his very finest basketball shorts, without even a single hole at the hem, and the knowledge puts an extra spring in his step.
“I’m gonna climb that dude like a tree,” he tells Curly.
And Now We Lie In It - sequence_fairy | T, 3.4k, complete
“Anyone here with us, right now?” He’d asked, voice only a little thready.
The house had remained silent as the grave around them.
Now though, they’re two floors up and staring down at the ‘bed’ the landowner had said would be there.
“Well, there’s no way we both fit,” Ryan says, frowning.
“Maybe if we snuggled up real tight?” Shane says, nudging Ryan.
Ryan and Shane: Sharing a bed, sharing a morning, sharing a meeting room.
Play Me Like a Love Song - sky_somedays| T, 9kl, complete
Wikipedia articles aren’t valid research sources.
-s
Sent from my iPhone
“When he torpedoes you on Rate My Professor you’re gonna deserve it,” TJ informs him.
Or: Shane is Ryan’s beleaguered history TA. Ryan won’t stop suggesting insane theories.
Oh, Ryan - VictoriaAGrey | T, 10k, complete
Ryan thinks the holiday season is going to be a predictable affair until Ned calls in a two year old debt Ryan owes him. Honoring that two year old debt sets into motion an avalanche of bad decisions and miscommunications that land Ryan at his parent’s house on Christmas Day with a baby and a best friend pretending to be his boyfriend.
Did he also mention Shane’s living with him?
Tranquility Base - sessrumnir | T, 10k, complete
After their successful Sims series, Kelsey has a different video proposal for the boys. This time, they’re testing how fast gossip travels in the office. But Ryan doesn’t expect their relationship to change so fast because of it.
Lost a fic? We can help. Send an ask!
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I was tagged by @nakasomethingkun! Thank you, I was so bored, you have no idea kospaskapoksop
rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). see if there are any patterns. choose your favorite opening line. then tag 10 of your favorite authors!
I have only 18 works written by me on ao3 (19 posted, one of them was a translation), so the last ones will have to be from my abandoned wips, maybe!
I’m also not going to follow the order i posted them, otherwise the series would be all over the place and my brain doesn’t enjoy that much disorganization lmao
1. tell me you’ll come home (even if it’s just a lie) - (The kandreil the host AU)
“There was absolutely nothing left for Andrew to protect anymore.”
2. Heartbeat - (the andreil faerie au)
“As Andrew walked through the forest, he couldn’t help but ponder over what a fucking difference it was from the last time he had been allowed near this particular part of Faerie land.”
3. third time’s the charm - (the andreil hp au)
“It happened when they were almost near the end of their raid.”
4. a heart’s a heavy burden - (the hp au missing scene)
“... I don’t think I’m going to remember my confessions for a little while.”
5. The Nekomancer (the andrew is a necromancer and neil died in Baltimore au)
“Andrew deposited the orange cat on top of Neil’s grave and looked at the engraving on the tombstone.”
6. from the ashes you crawl - (the andreil dragon au 1)
“Neil was watching the sunrise and trying not to feel sorry for himself.”
7. better not to breathe than to breathe a lie - (the andreil dragon au 2)
“At the end of the day, it was hard to admit Wymack had been right: Neil definitely needed to find a fucking new hobby.”
8. to save his life (he crawls like a worm from a bird) - (the andreil dragon au 3)
“It all started, unfortunately, with the Fox Security’s employees spreading a shared belief between themselves that Neil had no concept of what a healthy relationship looked like.”
9. the seas be ours and by the powers where we will, we’ll roam - (the stucky pirates of the caribbean au)
“Honestly, Steve didn’t know if he was excited about finally going onboard a ship that would sail with him on it or if he was somewhat disappointed to be dragged onto it by pirates.“
10. forgive our sins forged at the pulpit - (the nb mobster neil/cop andrew au)
“Are we really going to start the gender discussion again?”
11. devil’s got us all in his pockets - (the andreil constantine au)
“Death knocked on everybody’s door, sooner or later, regardless of their feelings about the mortal condition.”
12. The pumpkin is begging, “please grab me” - (the horror park, nicky/erik fic)
“When Andrew voluntarily offered to take all three of them—Kevin, Aaron, and Nicky—to a local theme park, Nicky should’ve suspected there was something funky going on.”
13. dress me up and watch me die - (the andreil coldest girl in coldtown au/vampire au)
“At the end of the day, Neil was thoroughly aware that currently he was one of the luckiest vampires in the world.”
14. you’re not as real as i am - (the andreil cryptid au)
“Abandoned houses were the godsend (or the capitalist-send) of Neil's life as a runaway.”
15. the tiny /things/ (not people) - (the andreil inkheart au)
“The day Andrew Minyard found out about the powers hidden in his tongue (other than the powers he discovered at the backroom of a nightclub) was also the day that he had the satisfaction of doing something he'd dreamed about for years: hitting someone with an Exy racquet for real.”
16. build god, then we’ll talk - (the jeanmarco faerie au)
“Jean was a step away from tumbling into slumber when he was awakened by a fairly loud thump on his window.”
17. don’t quote the Wikipedia page - (the stucky mediator au)
“You know, Bucky Barnes considers himself a good boyfriend, objectively.”
18. smooth - (the jeanmarco highschool au)
“Marco Bodt was failing miserably in English.”
19. the apocalyptic andreil au where neil was stunged by a giant insect - abandoned wip for the aftg rbb)
“Even though that was the most common cause of death in this post-apocalyptic world, Andrew and Neil had pretty much agreed since day one that death by giant insect was lame, to say the least, and they would not go down like that.”
20. the andrew x neil candy contest - (abandoned wip from the 2019 october madness)
“Andrew was, predictably, a big fan of Halloween.”
***
I tried to find my soul eater au wip but I can’t remember where i wrote a snippet of it lmaooooooooo
What I can figure out from my first lines is that I don’t like them to be all that lengthy, usually! I really love the first line from the inkheart au, no questions about it lmaoooooooo
I won’t tag 10 because i’m braindead, but I can tag five: @elia-nna @foxy-exy @lovelyeskel @boromirgondor @carterchilcott
#long post#asas got tagged#my fics#my writing#i'm not going to tag each fic right i dont have a brain that's cruel and unusual punishment skaopskaopsk
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The Batavia Mutiny or the Batavia Graveyard Massacre
Replica of the VOC Batavia (c) wikipedia
On 29 October, Batavia set off for Batavia (Jakarta) for the new flagship of the VOC Vereenigde Oost-indische Compagnie, the Dutch East India Company. It was to supply coins (260,000 gulden) and silverware worth about 30 million euros today, 30 cannons, two antiques by the artist Rubens and sandstone blocks already worked for a portico. According to official figures there were 316 (some sources said 341) people on board, including officers, traders, soldiers and passengers. The command was given by the experienced merchant Francisco Plesaert, the captain was Ariaen Jacobsz who led the Batavia in a convoy of seven ships.
But already in the North Sea the convoy was torn apart and so only three ships came together again, the Batavia the Assendelft and the Buren. On the way to the Cape of Good Hope there were more incidents on board. Pelsaert and Jacobsz clashed, which was due to Jacobsz drinking. This led to the Captain teaming up with a certain Jeronimus Cornelisz. Cornelisz was the third most important man on board and was a bankrupt pharmacist from Haarlem. At some point both forged a plan to get the Batavia into their hands and tried to instigate a mutiny. They did so by attacking the highest ranking passenger, 27-year-old Lucretia van den Mijlen / or Jans, who was on her way to her husband. She was chosen because she had her own cabin and only travelled with her mags, but also because she had rejected Jacobsz's advances. She was attacked in the middle of the night by masked men "hanging the Lady van den Mijlen overboard on her feet and indecently abusing her body". Later she claimed to have recognized the voice of Jan Evertsz, a man dedicated to the captain. Jakobsz and Cornelisz hoped to win several supporters for the mutiny by a disproportionate representation of these measures. But because the lady recognized her attackers, the mutineers had to wait until Pelsaert would arrest the culprits, which didn't happen because he had been ill for a long time.
On 4 June 1629, during a clear full moon night, the Batavia ran from the lookout to the Morning Reef at the Houtman Abrolhos (Lat. 28º 29.422S, Long. 113º 47.603E), off the coast of Western Australia, despite warnings.
FOURTH JUNE, Monday morning, on the 2nd Whitsunday, with a clear full moon (2) about 2 hours before daybreak, during the watch of the skipper (Ariaen Jacobsz), I lay in my bunk and suddenly, with a rough, terrible movement, felt the ship's rudder kicking, and immediately afterwards I felt the ship being held in course against the rocks, so that I fell out of my bunk. Then I ran up and discovered that all the sails were in top, the wind southwest, that the course at night had been northeast and north, and that was right in the middle of a thick spray. There was only a small surf around the ship, but shortly after that you could hear the sea breaking hard around you. I said, "Skipper, what have you done by your ruthless negligence to put this noose around our necks?" (from Pelsaerts journal)
The Batavia runs onto the reef (c) Pelsaert’s Journal
A desperate attempt was made to save the Batavia by pushing the cannons off the board but nothing helped and so Pelsaert decided to evacuate the ship. During the evacuation, 70 men remained on board including Cornelisz who planned to repair the ship and then kidnap it to India to sell it and its cargo. The survivors landed on Beacon Island. Commander Pelsaert, Captain Jakobsz and about 40 men set up camp on Traitor Island. They had saved some ship's supplies, barrels of biscuits and some water. But there was no fresh water springing on these coral islands. That's why Pelsaert decided to look for help and sail to Batavia with all those who were with him. It took them a total of 33 days to get there. But this help was misunderstood by the survivors on Beacon Island and so the island where the commander was became the island of traitors.
On arrival at Batavia, the Batavia boatswain was executed on charges brought by Commander Pelsaert for outrageous conduct before the loss of the ship. Skipper Jacobsz was arrested for negligence, again on Pelsaert's word. Seven days later Pelsaert was sent back to save the survivors, but it took him 63 days to get back.
The so-called mutiny or massacre of Cornelisz is based on the reports of the survivors and the report of the commander himself. Therefore, please do not take the whole thing for granted immediately, and consider it with caution.
During this time the survivors renamed the island the Batavia’s Graveyard, because they recognized that they would die without water and food on this stretch of land. The Batavia sank and with it Cornelisz and all the men left behind. But he and the other survivors used the bowsprit for rescue and came to the cemetery. There he immediately scraped all able men around him, turning the sails of the Batavia into a tent for himself and confiscating all firearms, knives and swords. He orders his subjects to build driftwood rafts. During this time he makes the plan that if a ship should come to the rescue he would use it as a pirate ship.
Cornelisz rescue and the beginning of the massacre (c) Pelsaert’s Journal
But everyone who could become dangerous to him had to be killed, so he sent the soldiers under the command of Wiebbe Hijes to the High Island to let them search for water and food there. Of course he doesn't keep his promise to pick them up again and believes that the men there are dying. He also sends large groups of castaways to Verraderseiland and Robbeneiland. There is no drop of water on any of the islands. At the Batavia cemetery only the faithful of Cornelisz remain, the sick and weak are added and the women he and the others hold as sex slaves. The most attractive, Lucretia van den Mijlen , was reserved for him. Probably from principle since she had indirectly prevented the first attempt at mutiny.
The masscare (c) Pelsaert’s Journal
The killing begins at night, first the strongest are removed, then the sick, women and children.
Parts of the Mass graves on Batavia Graveyard (c) National Geographic
Cornelisz men lurk near the tents, and as soon as someone comes out to pee, they cut his throat and bury his body. They also ask people to fish with them and then drown them in the sea. And some are tied up and then forced to go into the water themselves. From the 9th of July this also happens during the day, smaller groups who are put to die on the other islands unfortunately survive and are then slaughtered. At the Graveyard similar things happen, and the dead are thrown into mass graves. While Cornelisz plays with life and death, something else happened on the High Island. Because the soldiers under the command of Wiebbe Haijes had survived. They had searched on this island after they found no water and found on the neighbouring island Cats Island (now known as West Wallibi Island) which. But after some people who had escaped the massacres on the other islands had reached their island and told of Cornelisz's reign of terror, Haijes began preparations to ward off a possible assault by the murderers. Everyone on Cornelisz's side tried to pull the soldiers to his side, who were warned by a smoke signal that he had agreed with Haijes to find this water, that these men were still alive, failed. He himself went to them, travelled to Cats Island to use his powers of persuasion to lure the men into a deadly trap.
The rescue and the end of the mutiny (c) Pelsaert’s Journal
Here he met the end of his cruel reign. He and 5 of his men were overwhelmed and bound. Cornelisz was kept alive, but his companions were duly executed. On 17 September Pelsaert reached the stranded with the Sardam.
On the 17th. do. in the morning, at dawn, our anchor lifted again, the wind north; were then about 2 miles from the high island, ran towards it for. (45) - Before noon, as we approached the island, we saw smoke on a long island 2 miles west of the wreck, also on another small island near the wreck, which we were all very happy to find alive in the hope of finding a large number, or rather all people. - So I sailed by boat to the highest island that was closest and took a barrel of water, ditto bread and a barrel of wine; when I arrived there, I saw no one to wonder about. I jumped ashore and at the same time we saw a very small yoke with four men rowing around the northern point; one of them, called Wiebbe Hayes, jumped ashore and ran towards me and shouted from afar: "Welcome, but go back on board immediately, because there is a group of villains on the islands in front of the wreck, with two sloops intending to confiscate the yacht". (from Pelsaerts journal)
After a brief confrontation with the remaining mutineers who gave up immediately after facing a supremacy, the interrogations took place and after everything was cleared up, the verdict was pronounced on September 28. The condemned were to have their right hand cut off and, in the case of Cornelisz, both hands, before being killed on the gallows.
Cornelisz is hanged on the island; the other followers in Java are condemned and partly tortured to death (c) Pelsaert’s Journal
JERONIMUS CORNELISZ, from Haarlem, pharmacy, and late under the merchant of the ship Batavia, on Monday the first of October, when he asked for the baptism, to Seals Island, to a place prepared for them to exercise justice, and there first, to cut off both his hands, and then he will be punished on the gallows with the cable until death follows, with the confiscation of all his money, gold, silver, monthly wages and all the claims he may have here in India against the General's profits. East India Company, our Lord Masters. ( from Pelsaert's Journal)
In the end, after all was over and all mutineers had been executed, out of 316 (341) people on board the Batavia only 116 survived. The actual number is complicated because of the number on board the ship when it left Holland, some people left on the voyage or died, in addition one person was picked up in Sierra Leone and an unknown number of children was born on the voyage or died on the island. On 5 December 1629 the Sardam returned to Batavia with the other survivors and recovered a load of coins and jewels. The smaller perpetrators, who had been whipped, keel-pulled and dropped from the court arm as punishment on their way home, were executed. Wiebbe Hijes and some of his men were rewarded with a promotion for their resistance to the mutineers. Hijes became sergeant and the other non-commissioned officers, of course, received a higher salary.
Parts of the wreck, some cannons and the stone portico (c) western australian museum
Ongeluckige voyagie, van’t schip Batavia, nae de Oost-Indien … Amsterdam 1647 (Pelsaert’s Journal)
To what extent these narrated events actually coincide with the talking is questionable. The whole thing is based on witness statements and the report of Pelsaert, who in turn could only give witness statements and the statements from the interrogations, since he himself was not present. It is known that there were mass graves, also that many of them had been killed by force, but there were also graves with deceased that did not show any violence. That there was violence, but whether everything went as described, well that cannot be proven.
Sources:
Mike Dash, Der Untergang der Batavia. 2007
Ongeluckige voyagie, van’t schip Batavia, nae de Oost-Indien … Amsterdam 1647 (Pelsaert Journal)
M.R.C. Fuhrmann-Plemp van Duiveland (Hrsg.): Der Untergang der Batavia und andere Schiffsjournale und Originalberichte aus der großen Zeit der niederländischen Seefahrt im 17. und 18. Jahrhundert. Horst Erdmann, Tübingen 1976
https:// www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2016/07/01/the-batavia-mutiny-and-massacre-of-1629-is-still-rev ealing-secre_a_21422401/
https:// web.archive.org/web/20150417144427/http://www.spiegel.de/wissenschaft/mensch/batavia- massaker-die-blutspur-des-schrecklichen-jeronimus-a-1028583.html
https:// www.nationalgeographic.com.au/history/australias-most-infamous-shipwreck. aspx
https:// historianet.nl/techniek/scheepvaart/psychopaat-aan-boord-dood-de-sterksten-het -eerst
http:// museum.wa.gov.au/research/research-areas/maritime-archaeology/batavia-cape-inscri ption/batavia
#the end of the batavia#voc batavia#mutiny#article#tw: violence#long post#age of sail#dutch history#my article
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Don’t Go Alone
I’ve been thinking about Ecclesiastes recently. Yes, the “Vanities of vanities, all is vanity” and “there is nothing new under the sun” Ecclesiastes. Pretty much the most nihilistic book in the entire Bible, even though it tries to redeem itself in the end by saying that obeying God and keeping His commandments is “the entire duty of man.”
There are a lot of interesting concepts presented in the book, though. I will go ahead and quote some passages here from the 4th chapter (emphasis added by me).
Then I returned, and I saw vanity under the sun:
There is one alone, without companion: He has neither son nor brother. Yet there is no end to all his labors, nor is his eye satisfied with riches. But he never asks, "For whom do I toil and deprive myself of good?" This also is vanity and a grave misfortune.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:7-12)
While it is true that you remain the person primarily responsible for your own life, that self-love is important, and that when it comes down to the quality of your life, your choices matter the most, there is a reason why human beings have a general tendency towards forming groups. Human babies who were deprived of human touch can experience poor health outcomes and even death. Even if many of us need far less interaction than others (i.e. introverts), we still need to bond and connect with other human beings on some level.
We live in a highly individualistic society that is ruled by capitalism. Profit—and by extension, individual productivity—is prized above all else. This fosters a spirit of unhealthy competition that can often drive a wedge between us and our peers. Our worth is based on our physical, academic, or corporate achievement. We are expected to sacrifice our health, time, and current desires in order to one day earn the right to lead our own lives. This right—known for many years as “retirement”— has grown further and further out of reach for most Americans. This isn’t that one bicycle-riding-electricity-generating episode of Black Mirror, but sometimes it really feels like it.
What I am starting to realize, is that without a sense of togetherness and belonging—regardless of whether it is experienced in a small community or a big one— life quickly begins to lose its luster. It’s great to keep yourself as no. 1, but in the end, we all need to depend on others for support. It doesn’t matter if that support is financial, emotional, or physical.
Also, let’s talk about the Happiness dilemma. It feels like the more your try to pursue things that make you happy, the more elusive happiness becomes. Mark Manson discusses this at length in “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”. He came to the conclusion that Happiness is not something that you “arrive” at through achievement or by acquiring a predetermined number of things or a specific assortment of relationships, but rather happiness is in the small moments. You feel happy when you are having ice cream with your kids, feel the wind on your face in autumn, or you’re allowed to leave work early. It isn’t a destination that can be reached through pure effort. It comes effortlessly. You just have to enjoy it while it is there and then be prepared to move on from it. It is temporary and fleeting, but it is tangible. You know it when you feel it.
Learning to recognize and embrace the joy in small moments helps make the long stretches of sadness and mediocrity more bearable. When I look back at my own life, I see how many of those moments were shared with other people. I remember my brothers and I making dumb jokes out of serious movie quotes, playing video games with my sisters, family movie nights, etc. My childhood was far from ideal, but, if I look back there are still joyful things to remember. There are highlights. Getting my first drivers’ license, passing the GED, and so on; these were things that would’ve been much harder without the support of my parents.
We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people. Until we can learn to accept the imperfections in others—and in ourselves—we may find ourselves feeling incredibly isolated from other people.
Even as I emphasize the importance of human relationships, I am aware that throughout history there have been those who have sought to isolate themselves for others for religious or spiritual reasons. Even many of these people, however, still interacted with other humans on some level. In fact, I would almost venture to say that the stereotypical view of hermits who stayed in caves and did not interact with anyone else for the remainder of their lives, is somewhat of a mythological concept. Even the most strictly disciplined monks and nuns of varying religions still form groups or look to the outside world for support. Their stories demonstrate to us that even when we are deprived of most of the material pleasures of life, we can still find meaning through sharing a spiritual practice with others.
As an atheist—who is also wrestling with whether or not to have a spiritual practice—I have found myself feeling incredibly othered by my peers. While around 22.8% of the U.S. is “religiously unaffiliated”, only 3% of that group call themselves atheists, with another 4% claiming agnosticism. The world as a whole is only 16% “nones” (religiously non-affiliated) with an unknown—but lower—number being full atheists (Stats from “Irreligion in the United States” and “Demographics of Atheism” on Wikipedia). I am already in a very small minority, but it is further complicated by the fact that my atheism still involves some belief in unseen forces (e.g. chi or some other inexplicable life-giving force in the universe).
My saving grace is being able to absorb some atheist content on YouTube, talking to atheist and agnostic friends and family members, and the increasing openness of [some] religious people to at least consider the concept of a world without God. Sadly, though, I haven’t been able to find a community as wide as the community I had when I was an actively practicing Evangelical Christian. I am, however, learning to compromise and practice gratitude for the equally strong—albeit smaller—community that I have now. I have people in my life who love, accept, and support me, and every single one of them matters to me.
A lot of people find their community online. There are people in fandom communities, online gaming communities, etc., who have found lifelong friends and even spouses by participating in online communities. Hell, I found some of my closest friends—two of whom I am still in touch with—on sites like Fanfiction.net, Fictionpess.com, and Gaia Online. Yes, it was years ago, and yes, those sites aren’t what they used to be, but without those friends I would not have made it through my teenage years.
Your communities can form around literally anything—games, knitting, quilting, coffee, whatever. You just need to go out there and find your tribe. You may even have an online tribe already, and while there is no substitute for face-to-face conversation, your tribe is valid.
Anything that gets you outside of yourself—as long as it isn’t hurting anyone—is good. While having people physically near you is ideal, sometimes just having them be a part of your day remotely is a big help. My best friend and I live thousands of miles apart, but something as simple as being able to text him a screenshot of something I think is funny or rolling my eyes when he sends another YouTube video to me in the middle of the day, really makes my day much easier. Same goes for going with my family’s group chat; we post some pretty cringey memes on there and it’s life.
Look into yourself and see how you feel when you’re participating with others. If you’re happy, that’s good. If there’s another emotion going on there, it may be something to look at. You may not be receiving the support you really need.
P.S. If you’re tired of living alone, but you don’t know anyone who you can move with, there are still options for you. Lots of millennials have been moving into rooms that are rented out by older homeowners, and while this sounds like a net loss, the relationships that form in these kinds of situations can be beneficial. The millennial has an affordable place to live and someone to share meals with, and the senior has someone to help with chores and keep them company.
Also, more and more cohousing communities are popping up throughout the country. They allow families to live together in a close-knit community. There are also other communal living situations in which one rather large home is rented out room by room. Each person has their own bedroom and shares bathrooms with a limited number of fellow housemates, but the living areas and kitchen are shared by everyone. These “non-college dorms” allow people to support each other socially and financially and live together affordably.
Of course, safety first! Do your due diligence and make sure that the place you are moving to is safe and that your rights are being respected.
Happy hunting!
#loneliness#building a community#fighting loneliness#the importance of human connection#individualistic society#getting to know people#finding your tribe#dealing with isolation#moving outside your comfort zone#living with other people#cohousing#communal living#capitalism#anti-capitalist#Living with Depression#online communities#AngieSpeaks
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Barefoot Gen/Grave of the Fireflies
Ughhh what a difficult movie to watch. I kind of knew what was coming, but it was so unfair that they spent 30 minutes building up the characters, for it to turn out the way that it did. Usually I prefer to try and do a close analysis of the material, but I think I might’ve been too caught up in it to really do that this time around. I can’t really point to any specific themes besides the most obvious ones. So, I’ll talk a bit about the things that stood out to me, and those (obvious?) themes. (also I’ll try structuring it into paragraphs, so it’s not a straight wall of text like it tends to be)
The response to the air raid (Oh it’s early), feels really casual. I feel like it almost glanced over the firebombing of Tokyo. Like it talks about how it was really vicious, but then it just moves on. According to wikipedia 100,000 people were killed in the raid, and more than a million were left homeless. I get that it didn’t kill quite as many people, and that it doesn’t leave behind radiation poisoning, but still.
Another thing that stood out to me was that there was a relatively neutral stance. They didn’t try to absolve the Americans of anything (atomic bomb is pretty bad, and there was also that scene where they gunned down a little girl). But they also threw some blame to the Japanese government. First, there was the character of the father (openly against war/continuing it). Then (roughly 57 minutes in) they bring up that America demanded Japan’s surrender after the first nuclear bomb. It’s then stated that the Japanese essentially ignored this demand, and they also covered up what happened in Hiroshima. In this, we can see that this movie isn’t just meant to be “America bad” (or perhaps this is my bias as an American speaking). So, like I said, I think there’s neutrality in that both governments are to blame.
Of course, perhaps it’s stretching to think that it was assigning blame to Japan’s government. But, if we assume that it was, then I think we can see themes similar to what we saw in previous works. In my previous post, regarding Phoenix, I hypothesized (that feels a little formal for what I actually did, but let’s pretend) that when characters were saying “It’s the samurai who start wars”, what they were actually saying was “It’s the people in power that start wars”. Take that, and combine it with the fact that (or the fact that I think that) much of the suffering was done by the common person, and then you have a message that essentially says “People in power start wars, and the common people suffer (for it)”. I believe an echo of that message is also heard in this work. Early on in the movie (~24 minutes) Gen asks why they continue fighting, and Gen’s father says it’s because their leaders are wrong and the people in the army are the same. Continuing on to the scene at 57 minutes (leaders ignore demand/Hiroshima cover-up), which then leads to the bombing of Nagasaki. In Phoenix it’s Kiyomori/Yoshitsune/samurai that are in power, in Barefoot Gen it’s the Japanese government/army, and in both it’s the commoners who are killed/lose their home/war orphans/etc.
Another thing that stood out to me was the line in the last picture above. This is, again, in the scene around 24-25 minutes. Gen’s father declares that this kind of war can’t be right. But then he also says that protecting everybody’s life is right. I feel like we’ve also seen this theme in earlier works that we watched. Starting with the earlier one, I think that we see a similar theme in Zipang. One of the bigger things that I focused on in Zipang was the idea that “Exclusive defense is the guiding light”. If I’m not mistaken, something to that effect was explicitly stated. We also don’t see the Zipang take anybody until they’re attacked. Then in GATE, they’re initially attacked, then move through the gate to try and set up negotiations (or something?). The more important thing is we see the main character’s going out of their way to try and protect people who are technically “the enemy”. I feel like the common tie between all of this is a new(?) idea that the most important thing is defending/protecting people (emphasis on defense, as opposed to offense). Though Zipang focuses more on the fighting aspect (defending), I think GATE is pretty close in message (protecting). Fighting isn’t prevalent in Barefoot Gen, but they did do things to try to protect people (e.g. working with the maggot guy, then also cheering him on).
Finally, throughout the movie, we see a very optimistic view of both people, and the resilience of the human spirit. Ironically I feel like this one optimistic view is the one that isn’t really shared with previous things that we’ve read. But it did feel like it was one of the movie’s main goals. There’s the rich guy(?) who caught them stealing a koi fish, let them have it, and rewarded them for it. There’s the neighbor who initially gave them his rice, and then also helped to carry Gen’s mother away from the flames. There’s the mother who just lost her baby, who then feeds Tomoko. Then they also ‘adopt’ Ryuta (arguably the weakest example, but we’re keeping it). In all of this, we see an incredible streak of selflessness, of people banding together in a time of pain/confusion/need. Gen survives his sickness. And then we have the final scene where they ‘send off’ Shinji. To me it all speaks to an incredible strength in the human spirit to be able to endure so much and still be able to help others, and then to move past that pain and look to the future.
In the section about Barefoot Gen I mentioned that they kind of glanced over the Tokyo firebombing. I think Americans tend to learn about/focus on the atomic bombs. It makes sense. Massive weapons of destruction and all. But the firebombings were devastating as well.
What can I say about the actual movie? Well the aunt’s a dick. What else can I say? That’s a bit more difficult.
First, I’ll say that I think the overall, prevailing, theme of Barefoot Gen was a very optimistic one. I think the prevailing theme of Grave of the Fireflies is like... the exact opposite. Bad circumstances bring out the worst in people. First we have the aunt. Exchanges the dead mom’s kimono for rice, and then refuses to give them their rice. She even has the nerve to get offended about it. Then there’s the farmer that Seita steals from. He beats the heck out of Seita, and even after seeing that Seita really does have a little sister to take care of, he still tries to get him arrested. I get that you wouldn’t want somebody stealing yourself, but leaving a girl that young to her own devices would be condemning her to death. There’s also Seita himself. He turns to stealing because he doesn’t want to go back to the aunt and apologize. He’s not innocent by any means. Where Gen seemed to feel optimistic about the future, Seita was unable to let go of the past (and he died for it). I thought one of the ending notes (when the girls in dresses came back to the house) was very odd. Perhaps because I’m already viewing it in a negative light, it feels like it’s rubbing salt into the wound. On one side a little girl dies, and on the other you have adults (?) blithely returning home. Makes you want to call it unfair.
Another theme that I think I saw was a loss of innocence. I don’t think we are told explicit ages, but they’re both children. Seita has to bear the burden of taking care of his super young sister. He’s constantly berated by his aunt about how he isn’t doing enough. With the death of his mom, and the absence of his father, this young teenager is put into the position of a parent way too early. But, when I say loss of innocence, I’m more thinking of Setsuko’s. I mean, she’s so young. She really should be innocent, and she shouldn’t have to worry about anything. We see early on when she runs into a dead body (on the beach) that she just thinks that he’s sleeping. We wouldn’t expect somebody her age to really understand death, so that’s fine. But then later on (57 min mark) she is burying fireflies and she talks about how their mom is also in a grave. The scene is also interesting because her burying the fireflies is contrasted with others burying bodies. Then she asks why the fireflies have to die so soon. It might be a stretch, but it seems like her understanding of death has changed to me. Also of note, in the same scene Seita cries. I only bring it up because when I see it, it makes me think that he hasn’t had time where he could sit and grieve. But that’s just my thoughts on it.
Finally, I think we have to ask why they chose to frame the story as a spirit’s memories. We have a very grim opening, where Seita dies of a broken heart (okay, more likely from starvation). Then (very end of movie) he goes with Setsuko and says it’s time to sleep, as they sit overlooking a modern Japanese city. Why? I’unno. Maybe that’s for you to decide.
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Chapter 8: The Royal We
It was nearing two in the morning when there was a loud clatter on the roof. Leaving only the time for the bar’s diminishing clientele to look up before the ceiling seemed to swell and burst, and a cluster of bodies fell through, landing with great commotion in a pile on the floor.
As the intruders extricated themselves from the heap, five figures distinguished themselves: three men in dazzling, ceremonial-looking military garb, lavishly bedecked with silk and velveteen; a woman buried up to the neck in duchesse satin, crinoline, pearl jewelry, and ribbons; and another in hunting dress, with black velvet gloves up to her elbows and thick furs draped over her shoulders.
They got up, dusted themselves off, and without a moment’s hesitation began to yell. Several seemed to be speaking Russian, and turned to each other in confusion before returning to the business of their complaining.
Feeling themselves ignored, they first looked around accusingly; then, assuming the problem must be the language barrier, all five, nearly simultaneously, switched to French.
One of the five - Grand Duke Dmitry Pavlovich of Romanov - was halfway through a sentence when, suddenly, his gaze stopped on a familiar face: that of Tsar Nicholas the Second of Russia.
“We were not informed that your Majesty was visiting! What a pleasant surprise!” He exclaimed, in French, before gesturing at the unfamiliar surroundings and switching to Russian again. “This… forgive me, but are we here on your orders, your Majesty?”
“Absolutely not. I am as baffled as the you,” replied Nicholas.
“Dima!” The call of the sickly sweet voice behind him made Dmitry freeze the moment he heard it. He didn’t need to turn around; he knew immediately who it was.
“Felix,” he muttered under his breath. The Tsar was looking over his shoulder - at Count Felix Yusupov himself, he knew - with one eyebrow raised. In skepticism, perhaps, or simply curiosity over the nickname. Dima. How dare you, Dmitry fumed. The risks you make me take, and for what? If the Tsar found out, where would you be? Where would we be?
But now the Count stood beside him and the Tsar had moved on from the topic without a word. He and Felix were discussing their sudden… transportation.
After a spat of conversation, the three decided that they could make nothing of it on their own, and weren’t there others who had come down with them? Perhaps one who spoke Russian, too.
The three of them turned, then, to the women beside them, who were making slightly less noise and trying to make sense the unusual surroundings. “You two! Do you speak French? What’s going on here?” Nicholas broke in, in French, interrupting their conversation.
“Of course I speak French! Who do think I am?” the two exclaimed simultaneously.
“Who are you?”
The more elaborately dressed of the two stepped forward. “Yekaterina Alekseyevna, Empress and Autocrat of All the Russias.” Her voice was ice cold. “What spectacular ignorance on your part. I am ashamed that any subject of mine should fail to recognize - “
“Subject!” Nicholas spat. “I am the subject of none! There is no man more powerful in all Russia!”
“Good thing, then, that I am no man.” Empress Catherine smiled a chilly smile, switching to Russian.
“Who are you? A Bolshevik? God forbid, a parlementarian? What is your business in - “
“Yekaterina Alekseyevna, Empress and Autocrat of All the Russias. Must I continue to repeat myself? Where are my servants? Who is responsible - ”
“I demand that you explain yourself!” Nicholas was furious. “I’ll have you know that I will have you executed for false claims to the throne.”
“Treason!” Catherine shouted. “My men! Treason! Have him arrested!” She turned away from the weakly rambling Tsar Nicholas and grabbed the first unsuspecting customer she laid her eyes on by the sleeve. She repeated her orders then, several times - first in Russian, then French, “Qu’on l’arrête!”, and German, “Verhafte ihn!”
When the man only stared at her blankly, Catherine turned away again in disgust. “Doesn’t anyone here speak Russian? Besides this madman,” she grimaced, glancing at Nicholas with utmost contempt. “Well some of you must speak French. Arrest this man!” she screamed, for the whole bar to hear.
At this point, the other woman, a Swede named Kristina, broke in, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why exactly should this man be arrested? I am not familiar with either of you.”
“How many times must I repeat myself? I am Yekaterina Alekseyevna, Empress and Autocrat of All the Russias. I am feared throughout the the Empire and the world, and I will be respected.”
King Kristina of Sweden - for that was her title - only nodded along with an absent-minded grin. Little did she know, her own reign predated Catherine’s by more than a century. “You will excuse me, but I’m a little baffled. I’ve never heard of you, and given what your claims are I most certainly would have. Either there is a grave misunderstanding here, or you are quite mad.” Kristina smiled wryly. “I’m sure Emperor Mikhail the First will understand the situation at once, if I were simply to send him a missive? Perhaps have you tried for treason?” Her tone was mocking.
All of this was too much for Catherine, who broke out in fury and bellowed in French, “Seize her! Seize them all!” When nobody reacted, she went on: “Someone tell me immediately where I am and who engineered all this so I may have them executed at once!”
At this point, a woman in her early twenties, most likely a student at a nearby university, coughed nervously and raised her hand to catch Catherine’s attention. When the empress finally calmed down enough to listen, she began to speak, in rather rusty, accented French.
“Excuse me, Madame, but I think that you are maybe, uh…” she paused for a minute to look down at her phone, Googling some vocabulary, “a little inebriated, and… you should stop drinking and maybe go to your, ah, house or hotel.”
Catherine stared at her in utter disbelief. How dare anyone, especially someone of this intruder’s stature - dressed so shabbily, no marks of nobility, no… well, anything - dare to address her so?
“I cannot possibly believe i have to say this again. I am Yeka-”
“You are mad!” Broke in Nicholas II. “Yekaterina II is dead!”
“Nonsense!”
“Has been for two centuries now.” replied the woman with the phone, nodding tiredly.
For once, Catherine was silent. Suddenly, Kristina understood: this strange creature must be some aggrieved madwoman who, in a state of intoxication and with far too much money to her name, had taken to imitating an ancient monarch she’d read about in some obscure history book. Perhaps even in a legend. How tragic.
It was then that Nicholas decided to cut in. “I must admit I am no scholar, but I am quite certain... the great Empress has only been dead a hundred years, at most.”
“I can assure you I am not dead!” screamed Catherine, distraught.
“Look right here. Died, November 17, 1796,” sighed the young woman, holding up her phone. Catherine the Great’s Wikipedia page lit up the faces of the monarchs standing before her.
Kristina gaped. Catherine’s face was stormy with anger. “What is that unholy thing you possess? Must I remind you that divination is beyond illegal? Give it to me,” she barked. “You witch! Hand it over! Give it - ” Catherine snatched the cell phone out of the girl’s hand.
“Excuse me…” the girl made a feeble attempt to grab it back, but Catherine shook her off with a savage wave of her hand.
“Excuse me! Could someone - she just… she just stole my phone,” she mumbled. Someone nearby took out their phone to call the police.
When the cop’s walkie-talkie buzzed in his pocket, he was on his way to the precinct.
“Hey. You still dealing with the bathrobe gang?”
“Just on my way back. They’re at the motel down the street.”
“I have some bad news for you.”
The cop’s face fell. He knew what was coming. “Please tell me there aren't more…”
“Five of them, apparently, but only one is causing trouble. She stole someone's phone, and now she’s screaming about witchcraft. She says she's Catherine the Great, you know, the Russian Empress? And she has no idea what a phone is. I need you to go pick her up, return the phone and… you know. Just... deal with it, okay?”
Within minutes, he was back in the bar. It wasn’t hard to find the disturbance. A few very muscular butch women - Kristina of Sweden darting in among them - were busy wrestling the phone out of Catherine’s hands. Nicholas and his meagre entourage were a ways off, whispering conspiratorially to each other - given the circumstances it seemed best to stick with familiar faces. The other customers were clustered around them, eager to help but unsure as to what should be done.
“Right, stop fighting her. I’ll deal with this.” sighed the police officer. The women let go of Catherine, who dusted herself off then straightened out. Standing to her full height and striking the most regal, powerful and absolutely arrogant post she could muster, she addressed the cop, very patronisingly, in French.
“Hello, young man. I am rather surprised to find myself where I am now. I demand that I be returned to the Hermitage immediately.”
The officer, who spoke only barely enough French to pass his high school language course, was getting used to feeling baffled. He stared at Catherine for a minute, before looking around. “Can I get a translator, please?” He asked in English. “English? Anyone?”
Tsar Nicholas and the young woman whose phone had been taken stepped forward at the same time. After a brief exchange, it became obvious that Tsar Nicholas was the more competent translator.
The officer sighed deeply. This was definitely not going to be easy, and he didn't think he had room for all five of them in his car, he couldn’t leave the royals here and his translator was somehow the last Tsar of Russia. The officer briefly wondered if Nicholas knew he was going to be the last of his dynasty, but of course he didn’t. The most important thing right now was Catherine, as she still had the civilian’s phone. He needed to explain to her what was going on, and very much doubted that Nicholas would approve of his way of handling the situation. Royalty usually wants everything run their way and Nicholas would not be happy with returning the phone to the civilian.
After a few minutes, he decided just to run with the protocol and see where that got him. “Ma’am, please hand over the phone and wait quietly for your arrest.” This was of course said in English, but he glanced over at Nicholas curiously, hoping for a translation. Nicholas translated efficiently and fluently, with the only fault the omission of “Ma’am” and “please”, but this was surely no mistake. Catherine, of course, was not compliant, and was determined to keep the phone. She had tuned out what anyone was saying and was slowly reading her own Wikipedia page.
Since she was not moving, the officer found it easy enough to surprise and handcuff her. As expected, she was absolutely furious and started lashing out viciously. Luckily, the officer had prepared for this and responded quickly. He shot a blank in the air and made use of the general confusion to put Catherine to the floor and grab the phone from her.
“You are under arrest for theft. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one shall be provided for you.” Nicholas stared at the police officer in disbelief. Surely since Catherine thought herself Russian then He, the Tsar, should be deciding her fate.
“Excuse me, I think I'll do that bit. This is my subject “ said Nicholas. As an add on, he went to take the phone from the police officer, who pointed his gun at George. “If you try and interfere with the legal proceedings, I will be forced to arrest you as well. Don't make this harder for me. You know she isn’t yours. Surely you can tell something is wrong.”
It took Nicholas a few seconds to recover from the shock. He was an ally and an honoured guest in this country and it’s lowers had no right to treat him as such. “Mutiny! Revolution! Seize him! He's a madman listen to what he's saying.” announced Nicholas. Realising that something violent might happen, the gang of butch women quickly swooped behind Nicholas and, two on each arm, and positioned him in front of the officer, on the floor, next to Catherine, in a position that made it easy enough for the officer to handcuff the King.
“You are under arrest for disorderly conduct, violence towards a police officer and attempted theft. You have the-” The officer tried to end his usual mini speech but was cut off by Nicholas. “Do not ever attempt to tell me what I can and cannot do! Unhand me at once!” He bellowed. With a very decisive lurch, he tried to get up. Unfortunately for him, it becomes harder to balance when your hands are cuffed and he was quickly returned to the floor.
Seeing the state the officer had put their Tsar in, Felix rushed to his assistance. Dmitry, however, grabbed his wrist and held him back. “It might be best to remain free, at least for the moment. We can follow him, ask to escort him.” said Dmitry.
Felix nodded. “As you like. Caution doesn’t usually agree with me, but I will admit I’m a little disoriented.”
Dmitry almost smiled. If only Felix were always so thoughtful. “Excuse me,” he tapped the officer’s shoulder. “Excuse me. I am Grand Duke Dmitry Pavlovich of Romanov. This man,” he gestured to the handcuffed figure of Nicholas on the floor, “is my cousin.”
The officer looked at him blankly. Dmitry had been speaking French.
The two called for a translator at the same time. Nicholas was too busy grumbling to pay attention. The young woman from earlier, whose phone had now been returned to her and who was now standing by the bar with a bottle of beer, was brought over.
“Which is… ah, what is the problem, sir?” she asked Dmitry hesitantly.
“Count Yusupov and I would like to accompany my cousin the Tsar to… well, wherever this man plans to take him,” the Grand Duke replied.
The girl translated to the officer. “No problem,” he laughed. “We have a right party over at the station already. A couple more can’t hurt.”
“You can come,” the young woman translated back to Dmitry, who nodded curtly.
“By the way,” the officer added, “you’ll come with us, won’t you? None of us can get by very well in French, and we might need an unbiased account. For filing, you know. Nothing serious.”
“Oh. Well, yeah, sure. I guess so.”
“Sorry to keep you up, but… well. It’s not just any old thing, is it?”
“I guess not.”
The party got up to leave and determined they would not be able to transport Catherine and Nicholas with only the officer… well… dragging. Kristina had also noticed this issue and rushed over to help. Since it would be extremely indecent for the count and the grand duke to forcefully remove the Tsar, they both went to help with Catherine. Kristina and one of her new friends each took one of Nicholas’s arms and the company of six, as well as their two prisoners, made their way towards the vehicle and loaded the two Russian rulers into the back. The officer got in the driver’s seat, the translator in the passenger seat and the two butch women, Kristina and her new acquaintance - her name was Erin, she found out - in tow.
#history is gay#gay#writing#rpf#russian monarchy#Nicholas II#catherine the great#yekaterina ii#grand duke dmitry pavlovich#dmitry pavlovich romanov#count felix yusupov#king kristina of sweden#history#timetravellinggaybar#collaborative novel#sci fi & fantasy
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Blog: Love behind bars; online dating for prisoners.
Maybe I’m old fashioned. Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m old. Maybe I’m boring. But I truly don’t get the desire to pick a criminal’s profile to correspond with on a dating site. But it happens. Regularly enough for there to be a few sites catering to this need. One of my tweets even had a response from one of those sites offering free subscription or something. I didn’t take them up on the offer. Hell if I struggle to find a normal decent guy on the dating apps and sites I’m currently using why would I then look for love in prisons?
Take the example of Canadian killer Dustin Hales. He killed his wife while the lady both he and his wife had been having a relationship with watched. He was found guilty and given a life sentence with 17 years non parole. Now he’s on one of the dating sites for women on the outside to write to men inside called “Canadian Inmates Connect.” The majority of men on the site are openly looking for love or- at least- conjugal visits.
When asked why she set the site up founder Melissa Fazzina said she thought it could help promote rehabilitation by allowing the inmates the chance to forge and nurture positive connections in the outside world. Those working in the field cautiously agree.
“Almost anything that can create a sense of community and belonging upon release, or even while you’re in there, increases the possibility of a safe reintegration—because often these guys are coming out with nothing and nobody.”
Catherine Latimer, the executive director of the John Howard Society of Canada, a non-profit organization that works with offenders and promotes just and humane responses to crime, echoes this sentiment: “They’re in prison as punishment, not for punishment. They have a right to communicate with people. They have a right to have family and friends on the outside,” she says. (1)
It should also pointed out that even without the websites this sort of thing happens and has done for a long time. Consider Charles Manson, for example, who almost married his long time pen pal/fiancee. In England notorious inmate Charles Bronson, serving a life sentence, married a lady who wrote to him. Serial killer Richard Ramirez, the so-called Night Stalker, who murdered and dismembered 13 people in the 1980s, had no trouble finding a bride. Doreen Lioy started writing to Ramirez after falling for his picture in the paper. They were married in 1996 in the prison waiting room. Ted Bundy, a rapist-murderer who was suspected of murdering 35 young women, attracted gangs of admiring groupies who sat patiently through his court cases. Even John Wayne Gacy - not the most eligible man, with a history of drugging, raping and murdering 30 young men in Chicago - ended up marrying a woman he met while awaiting the death penalty. Even Josef Fritzl, who imprisoned his daughter in a purpose built cellar as his sex slave for 24 years, received hundreds of letters.
The cliche of the prison bride as trailed trash with peroxide dyed hair and a cigarette hanging out her mouth with a vocabulary that consists mainly of swear words is actually misguided. Research has shown these women all come from different backgrounds, different socioeconomic classes, different professions, different levels of education. Some were married, some weren’t. Some had kids, some didn’t. Carlos the Jackal become engaged to his lawyer last year. The famous Glasgow hard man Jimmy Boyle married a psychiatrist he met in prison. But it does make us ask why?
From the research I’ve done quite often serial killers or those who have committed a crime- or crimes plural- are often inundated with “fan mail”. And often the letters are super sexually explicit, contain naked photos, and proposals of marriage. From what I can gather all too often the women want to try and understand the man behind the monster, perhaps even to help them find redemption. What makes someone do this? Are they lonely and in search of emotional dependence from a captive audience? Or manipulative sociopaths living vicariously through ‘celebrity’ prisoners? Are they turned on by the fame that these ‘celebrity’ prisoners gain? Do they have their own issues- psychological or otherwise- that makes these men attractive to them? Englishman Alex Cavendish, former inmate and currently a social anthropologist, cites a few reasons.
Major factors to consider are dependency and control. “Dependence works both ways - financial for many prisoners, particularly those who don’t have family ties, as well as emotional.” He explains. In describing the type of women who write to prisoners he says, "I’ll be honest and say that a fair few of the female correspondents are lonely women who often have body-image concerns (many of those whose photos I’ve seen tend to be overweight.) They feel perhaps that a prisoner is likely to be less judgmental and more appreciative of any support - emotional and/or financial.” Of course it’s not all about love. Many women (and men) choose to reach out simply to provide friendship and compassion to those behind bars. Their actions provide a much welcome lifeline, a window to the outside world. (2)
A book called "Women who love men who kill” author Sheila Isenberg examines the idea of prison lovers and it seems that my feelings of why are common. Family and friends, even strangers, genuinely are bewildered at why women would put themselves in such a complex situation. (2)
She also explains that most often these women are damaged- they’ve been hurt in the past; they’ve been sexually abused, psychologically, emotionally abused. So a relationship with a man in prison leaves the woman in control. He’s locked away, he can’t hurt you, you decide when to visit him, you even decide whether or not to accept his collect phone calls. So they feel safer. (3)
Issenberg cites an example of a British woman who has been engaged to several death-row inmates in the USA, all of whom have since been executed. Yet she, and many of these women, claim they didn’t specifically chose the course for themselves. Karen Richey’s partner, for instance, is on death row in Ohio. Karen says that she wasn’t looking for a love affair when she made contact with Kenny, a 38-year-old Scot: “My war cry is that I only wanted to be a pen pal. Kenny insists this is going to be on my grave stone.” (4)
There is a condition known as hybristophilia (often referred to as “Bonnie and Clyde syndrome) which Wikipedia defines as "a paraphilia in which sexual arousal, facilitation and attainment of sexual orgasm are responsive to and contingent upon being with a partner known to have committed an outrage, cheating, lying, known infidelities or crime, such as rape, murder, or armed robbery. ” Don’t get me wrong- we all have had the bad boy phase at some point in our lives but I think this is taking it a bit too far.
The thing is though that the fantasy of these types of romances rarely matches the reality. For starters physical contact us obviously limited thus they often never progress past the courting stage. The men spend their days exercising or working in their prison jobs and in the evening writing letters to the women or trying to phone them. They are more compliant and attentive than they would be on the outside because the women send money, pay for their legal representation and afford them the tremendous parole advantage of a permanent address as well as the fact there are little female distractions whilst locked up.
Clinical Psychologist Dr Stuart Fischoff likens it thus; “The love object is almost irrelevant at this point. [The prisoner] is a dream lover, a phantom limb.” (2) Prison relationships therefore seem to retain the intoxicating elements of the “honeymoon period” of all relationships, where that first endorphin-flush of love always involves a degree of transference; whereby we all see our partners as we hope them to be, imagining that the love object embodies the qualities we crave. The excuses the women give for their partner’s alleged crimes operate as in all other relationships. They do what we all sometimes do when faced with negative information about loved ones: they refuse to believe it. They aren’t having to ask the men to pick up their dirty socks or put the toilet seat down.
When it comes to how these women dealt with the knowledge they were in love with someone who’d committed a terrible crime found ways to rationalise it or mitigate the crime and excuse it. For example: he didn’t really mean to be that murderer. In the course of interviewing women for her book Issenberg cited one woman who said, 'He was awkward and when the door hit him in the arm, the gun went off.’ And another one who said, 'His friends were all drinking and doing drugs and he got carried away and he didn’t mean to do it.’ (3)
So how do these dating sites for men behind bars work? Well they are like dating profiles on conventional dating sites. There’s a photograph, a short bio, hobbies and interests. The only difference in this part is the details of their incarceration. Again like conventional sites women pick the guy they like the look and sound of and start writing to them, building a rapport and hopefully a romantic relationship.
“Love a Prisoner” claims to have a “75% compatibility rating for those looking for their soul mate” – including inmates on death row. “Our mission is to give inmates a sense of hopefulness by connecting them to people on the ‘outside world’,” the website states. (5)
The forums on "Write a prisoner” give insight into what the women are looking for. They include things such as chatty prisoners, ones who don’t ask for money, and ones who haven’t committed sex crimes. The women have also slammed claims they are “groupies” of men who have committed vile acts. (5)
“Meet-an-Inmate” claims to be ranked #1 among prison pen pal websites and has been helping inmates connect with the outside world since 1988. They claim it’s a free, easy way to brighten up an inmates day but stress they are NOT a dating service. (6) However despite this romantic feelings can- and do- develop. There have been quite a few marriages from the site over the years. The founder, Arlen Bischke, explained that many prisoners get cut off from their family and friends so correspondence can really brighten their day. (7)
Christian Science Monitor reported that the online prisoner dating industry has grown from humble beginnings. Leading sites now boast “between 7,000 and 10,000 ads” and ABC News claim there are over a dozen major prisoner dating sites now. (7)
In conclusion I must admit to a certain fascination with true crime. I’ve got two shelves on my bookshelf dedicated to the genre after having discovered it during my undergrad legal degree and then my postgrad in criminology, as well as my time working in prosecution and the courts for the government. Shows about true crimes fascinate me. I devoured “making a murderer” (and read Jereme Butings book about that and the illusion of justice for indigent defendants which is pretty much the same in Australia these days given legal aid cuts mean cases are means tested and if they don’t think there’s a chance of winning they won’t take it purely because of lack of resources) and am loving “murder uncovered.” I’ve read a heap of books on Ivan Milat, Julian Knight, Bradley Murdoch and the infamous “underbelly” underworld crime spree. But would I then think to myself okay I’m going to write to these guilty criminals and maybe start some kind of friendship that could perhaps grow into a relationship? Hell no I don’t. (NB: I don’t believe that Steve Avery of MAM fame was guilty but that’s beside the point here.) I have no desire to want to correspond with killers, with men who will likely die in prison, let alone try and fall in love with them! Not only would it be an unequal and strange relationship but there would be no point. Plus the little fact that I don’t get turned on by men who could kill another human being with scant regard, or no regard, for the sanctity of life and the pain and suffering it would consequently create. And though I’ve really tried to understand the women who do this while researching and writing this blog post, and whilst I even partly understand some of the reasoning in bits, I just don’t get it. Love behind bars is just not for me.
Fatgirl.
Sources:
(1) https://www.vice.com/en_au/article/inside-the-matchmaking-service-for-murderers-rapists-and-violent-offenders
(2) https://www.google.com.au/amp/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/dating-a-prisoner-what-attracts-people-on-the-outside-to-fall-in-love-with-convicted-criminals-10326587.html%3Famp
(3) https://www.google.com.au/amp/attn-google-amp.herokuapp.com/stories/6268/why-women-fall-in-love-prison-inmates
(4) https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2003/jan/13/gender.uk
(5) https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/living/2907384/women-who-send-love-letters-to-prisoners-reveal-what-they-look-for-in-a-jailbird-pen-pal/amp/
(6) http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/
(7) http://thegrio.com/2011/12/20/online-sites-for-dating-men-in-prison-1/
Other sources:
https://www.google.com.au/amp/jezebel.com/5755106/women-who-marry-prisoners-arent-just-crazy-ladies/amp
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10665003/Murderous-love-Why-are-so-many-women-aroused-by-serial-killers.html
http://m.topix.com/forum/city/cape-girardeau-mo/TPEUTFH8HOOU5H9AF
Sites to meet prisoners (if you’re brave enough….)
http://www.conjugalharmony.com/
http://loveaprisoner.com/
https://www.prisondatingsite.com/
http://www.femaleprisonpals.com/
http://www.writeaprisoner.com/
http://www.prisonpenpals.net/
#love#dating#onlinedating#relationships#narriage#prison#jail#inmates#lovebehindbars#onlineprisonerdating#writeaprisoner#loveaprisoner#prisonpenpals#famous#famousprisoners#famouscriminals#famousmurderers#tedbundy#charlesmanson#johnwaynegacey#johnwaynegacy#joseffritzl#charlesbronson#richardramirez#nightstalker#blog#fatgirlsguidetodating
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Changed Pronouns Hamlet
So I wanted to see what a classic story like Hamlet would be like if all the male characters were female and vice versa. So I just took the Wikipedia summary, and changed only the names and pronouns. The results really interested me, and I think this would be a very epic play...
Disclaimers:
1. I changed some of the names more than others, mainly because some of them were so ingrained in my head as one gender or another that I needed to distance myself further from that association.
2. I chose to go with the name ‘Amla’ as a feminized tribute to the original historical Prince Amleth, on whom Hamlet is based.
3. I chose to use binary male/female genders for this experiment because I wanted to explore the contrasts and stereotypes of the roles that we expect binary male and female characters in literature to fulfill. (The only gender neutral change I made was to change ‘What a piece of work is a man’ to ‘humanity’ instead, since it is used in a gender neutral way in the play. I am aware that this would necessitate further challenges with the wordplay on ‘man’ that follows in the actual script, but this change suffices for now.) All that to say, non-binary version of this story or of some of the characters therein would also be epic as well, and if you write that one I would love to read it.
Act I
The protagonist of Amla is Princess Amla of Denmark, daughter of the recently deceased Queen Amla, and niece of Queen Claudia, her mother's sister and successor. Claudia hastily married Queen Amla's widower, Gerald, Amla's father, and took the throne for herself. Denmark has a long-standing feud with neighbouring Norway, in which Queen Amla slew Queen Floria of Norway in a battle some years ago. Although Denmark defeated Norway and the Norwegian throne fell to Queen Floria's infirm sister, Denmark fears that an invasion led by the dead Norwegian queen's daughter, Princess Floria, is imminent.
On a cold night on the ramparts of Elsinore, the Danish royal castle, the sentries Bernadette and Marcella discuss a ghost resembling the late Queen Amla which they have recently seen, and bring Princess Amla's friend Hanna as a witness. After the ghost appears again, the three vow to tell Princess Amla what they have witnessed.
As the court gathers the next day, while Queen Claudia and King Gerald discuss affairs of state with their elderly adviser Polina, Amla looks on glumly. During the court, Claudia grants permission for Polina's daughter Laetitia to return to school in France and sends envoys to inform the Queen of Norway about Floria. Claudia also scolds Amla for continuing to grieve over her mother and forbids her to return to her schooling in Wittenberg. After the court exits, Amla despairs of her mother's death and her father's hasty remarriage. Learning of the ghost from Hanna, Amla resolves to see it herself.
As Polina's daughter Laetitia prepares to depart for a visit to France, Polina offers her advice that culminates in the maxim "to thine own self be true.” Polina's son, Orpheus, admits his interest in Amla, but Laetitia warns him against seeking the princess' attention, and Polina orders him to reject her advances. That night on the rampart, the ghost appears to Amla, telling the princess that she was murdered by Claudia and demanding that Amla avenge her. Amla agrees, and the ghost vanishes. The princess confides to Hanna and the sentries that from now on she plans to "put an antic disposition on", or act as though she has gone mad, and forces them to swear to keep her plans for revenge secret; however, she remains uncertain of the ghost's reliability.
Act II
Soon thereafter, Orpheus rushes to his mother, telling her that Amla arrived at his door the prior night half-undressed and behaving erratically. Polina blames love for Amla's madness and resolves to inform Claudia and Gerald. As she enters to do so, the Queen and King finish welcoming Rosaline and Genevieve, two student acquaintances of Amla, to Elsinore. The royal couple has requested that the students investigate the cause of Amla's mood and behaviour. Additional news requires that Polina wait to be heard: messengers from Norway inform Claudia that the Queen of Norway has rebuked Princess Floria for attempting to re-fight her mother's battles. The forces that Floria had conscripted to march against Denmark will instead be sent against Poland, though they will pass through Danish territory to get there.
Polina tells Claudia and Gerald her theory regarding Amla's behaviour and speaks to Amla in a hall of the castle to try to uncover more information. Amla feigns madness and subtly insults Polina all the while. When Roseline and Genevieve arrive, Amla greets her "friends" warmly but quickly discerns that they are spies. Amla admits that she is upset at her situation but refuses to give the true reason, instead commenting on "What a piece of work is humanity". Roseline and Genevieve tell Amla that they have brought along a troupe of actors that they met while traveling to Elsinore. Amla, after welcoming the actors and dismissing her friends-turned-spies, asks them to deliver a soliloquy about the death of the Queen and King at the climax of the Trojan War. Impressed by their delivery of the speech, she plots to stage The Murder of Gonzaga, a play featuring a death in the style of her mother's murder and to determine the truth of the ghost's story, as well as Claudia’s guilt or innocence, by studying Claudia's reaction.
Act III
Polina forces Orpheus to return Amla's love letters and tokens of affection to the princess while she and Claudia watch from afar to evaluate Amla's reaction. Amla is walking alone in the hall as the Queen and Polina await Orpheus's entrance, musing whether "to be or not to be". When Orpheus enters and tries to return Amla's things, Amla accuses him of immodesty and cries "get thee to a monastery", though it is unclear whether this, too, is a show of madness or genuine distress. Her reaction convinces Claudia that Amla is not mad for love. Shortly thereafter, the court assembles to watch the play Amla has commissioned. After seeing the Player Queen murdered by her rival pouring poison in her ear, Claudia abruptly rises and runs from the room; for Amla, this is proof positive of her aunt's guilt.
Gerald summons Amla to his chamber to demand an explanation. Meanwhile, Claudia talks to herself about the impossibility of repenting, since she still has possession of her ill-gotten goods: her sister's crown and husband. She sinks to her knees. Amla, on her way to visit her father, sneaks up behind her but does not kill her, reasoning that killing Claudia while she is praying will send her straight to heaven while her mother's ghost is stuck in purgatory. In the King's bedchamber, Amla and Gerald fight bitterly. Polina, spying on the conversation from behind a tapestry, calls for help as Gerald, believing Amla wants to kill him, calls out for help himself.
Amla, believing it is Claudia, stabs wildly, killing Polina, but she pulls aside the curtain and sees her mistake. In a rage, Amla brutally insults her father for his apparent ignorance of Claudia's villainy, but the ghost of her mother re-enters and reprimands Amla for her inaction and harsh words. Unable to see or hear the ghost himself, Gerald takes Amla's conversation with it as further evidence of madness. After begging the King to stop sleeping with Claudia, Amla leaves, dragging Polina's corpse away.
Act IV
Amla jokes with Claudia about where she has hidden Polina's body, and the Queen, fearing for her life, sends Roseline and Genevieve to accompany Amla to England with a sealed letter to the English Queen requesting that Amla be executed immediately.
Unhinged by grief at Polina's death, Orpheus wanders Elsinore. Laetitia arrives back from France, enraged by her mother's death and her brother's madness. Claudia convinces Laetitia that Amla is solely responsible, but a letter soon arrives indicating that Amla has returned to Denmark, foiling Claudia's plan. Claudia switches tactics, proposing a fencing match between Laetitia and Amla to settle their differences. Laetitia will be given a poison-tipped foil, and, if that fails, Claudia will offer Amla poisoned wine as a congratulation. Gerald interrupts to report that Orpheus has drowned, though it is unclear whether it was suicide or an accident caused by his madness.
Act V
Hanna has received a letter from Amla, explaining that the princess escaped by negotiating with pirates who attempted to attack her England-bound ship, and the friends reunite offstage. Two gravediggers discuss Orpheus’s apparent suicide while digging his grave. Amla arrives with Hanna and banters with one of the gravediggers, who unearths the skull of a jester from Amla's childhood, Yora. Amla picks up the skull, saying "alas, poor Yora" as she contemplates mortality. Orpheus's funeral procession approaches, led by Laetitia. Amla and Hanna initially hide, but when Amla realizes that Orpheus is the one being buried, she reveals herself, proclaiming her love for him. Laetitia and Amla fight by Orpheus's graveside, but the brawl is broken up.
Back at Elsinore, Amla explains to Hanna that she had discovered Claudia's letter with Roseline and Genevieve's belongings and replaced it with a forged copy indicating that her former friends should be killed instead. A foppish courtier, Osra, interrupts the conversation to deliver the fencing challenge to Amla. Amla, despite Hanna's pleas, accepts it. Amla does well at first, leading the match by two hits to none, and Gerald raises a toast to her using the poisoned glass of wine Claudia had set aside for Amla. Claudia tries to stop him but is too late: he drinks, and Laetitia realizes the plot will be revealed. Laetitia slashes Amla with her poisoned blade. In the ensuing scuffle, they switch weapons, and Amla wounds Laetitia with her own poisoned sword. Gerald collapses and, claiming he has been poisoned, dies. In her dying moments, Laetitia reconciles with Amla and reveals Claudia's plan. Amla rushes at Claudia and kills her. As the poison takes effect, Amla, hearing that Floria is marching through the area, names the Norwegian princess as her successor. Hanna, distraught at the thought of being the last survivor and living whilst Amla does not, says she will commit suicide by drinking the dregs of Gerald's poisoned wine, but Amla begs her to live on and tell her story. Amla dies in Hanna's arms, proclaiming "the rest is silence". Floria, who was ostensibly marching towards Poland with her army, arrives at the palace, along with an English ambassador bringing news of Roseline and Genevieve's deaths. Hanna promises to recount the full story of what happened, and Floria, seeing the entire Danish royal family dead, takes the crown for herself and orders a military funeral to honour Amla.
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Bees (But Put Through Google Translate 16 times)
Introduction: What does this mean? After the operation, SCP-███-3 was released, and the truth of life must be black. This is mentioned on every page.
log in
March 17
Today I think as a driver, I think there are 30 doctors, they do not buy. In addition, my grandfather is Moni. There is no excuse for the value of the second hell. This is a very good piece of blood.
Write the results
the 20th of March
No text in plastic boxes
Who pays for a tattoo is the difference. O. The brain seems to be burning on the floor, I don't care about my hand. I think we are an old man WTF? I don't want to know if it's a ring or not.
March 21
Make sure you have a control mode. For example, the food, because the seller and the manufacturer of the plant are usually very But I'm afraid he returned to killing Therefore, I agree. Not all results are fair. You can do it yourself
The rest of the page is the most important person. (Sometimes asking my mother) She looks like a tough warrior. "I have a good mouth in the morning, especially if they are still in Gher.
March 22nd
Today [top of monomer] We have received API information, often the oldest, so there should be places like Vienna that are impossible (not eating). But it is not a foreign compliance with this woman: I am very angry.
This product has not been rejected, but it is very difficult, so the work is not worth it. I looked outside the room and stayed with them and my brother. This word is quite different.
March 23
We're white and black, we don't know it's black. What is a Cemetery? I want to be patient before it takes a little old age!
* * Find information now ... Why below?
Use your nose when you pour your nose.
[Age seems to be in chapter 9]
Don't let anything go from your shoulder.
What if it were the height of the hill?
What happens if one-third of the beans are there?
If you have a mobile phone, can't you use the phone?
If you are a good photographer?
How are hairs at the corner of the room?
If dinosaur bones die?
What happened to the bee
If you have Facebook
If so, is it better on the Facebook page?
If someone comes to you, write a good article:
What happens when a child commits adultery?
Säävalokuvat?
Enter the boat and eat her good
Updated when:
What happened in Benny Benny's life?
If so, don't forget the bad things and their neighbors?
What is a computer screen image?
If he becomes part of human rights
Is this a big poster?
When is SAG an agreement?
What happens when a bottle is in China?
What is the Century?
Ceithir Bee
Want to know what you're doing?
How to make beans
when
What do you think this week, what should we do?
If we have a movie
How do you have a good body
When does Mother's Price Depend on Hawaii Price?
If so, you forgot Mardi Gras - Soldier - Well?
How do I re-write to you?
Is it made of clay and springs?
If they are good
Should You Work With Your Child?
What happens when people talk to TYPE
If you fall across the snow in the nursery?
Is it true that the animals are <<
What does this mean?
Is this a bird case because she is proud of this?
Is he strong when it's right?
If we send to your phone
If you do business with people?
What should I do when the paper is good?
If I say that my son's clothes are his mirror?
This young man killed!
If you're sick
But what's open?
Start learning and, if possible, stop them?
Do you want other songs?
If plants grow and destroy!
When are these people
It was the first reason we were in the car so when traveling abroad
Did you find Wi-Fi compatibility?
What happens when the number is greater than this number?
If not good
Good or good
If you want it, it's a bad culture.
If you're a leader, what would you do if they were good?
When does mirroring differ from each member?
With a diabetic and night
What if a fisherman thinks of himself?
What happens if the dog doesn't see!
With a pot
When he knew it was expensive: many people?
If there is a good government, right?
What opportunities does this person have?
Create rules that were created once a week or not.
In the grave, where is sin?
If this happens, we may not change the monthly email address on the page.
What is a bee writer?
Install the computer
Beans?
What is the difference between hand and foot boats?
However, if you delete the code, I accept you at the bottom of the Trinity.
Don't you want to be William Wincan's young man from Hirom?
If this happens, coffee bags
How is the cow wall different?
What happens when you select a pixel for this station?
If we want to help it in Russia?
What happens if it is part of a mental health service?
But if you tell the story of the actor
If you love bees, if that week is a day?
What to do when you cook in Wikipedia!
What happened on the road if he died?
Other parts from outside, such as your mother, must be in a dark tree path. In science, small tires like fishing before you quit "Z"
Close the animal
March 31st
No, I mean very little. Older events
I like Ponn, this is the main attack. But to help blood One of them was Avon, who started in Hawaii within 14 hours. They said they stopped drinking. Oh, the phone shakes.
Monday
It was sixty actors in 1646. What am I going to enjoy best? I don't know what you write, I don't work!
I think he tried and decided to go to Zelt Pin and go to work and start working on the bed
One Friday
[Heavy paper window and haze
I tried to write Sanskrit for Chaita Thermo Shaw in bed.
What happened
It is not good
On the next page, human blood is reported to have venous thrombosis after the first treatment. Place the area in the registered area.
Mom, today tears well. This is a woman I don't know why I'm not short. Are you sure you want a better way? Buidhe
Create Wei
March 17
Go to the Pixel Tani light and garden when you go to the hospital.
Forcing the boy to move the truck to God, I didn't go long
March and 119 days
I ate food with the dentist. The other bees saw me But they're heavier
I'm tired
Number 3
[Five items are five]
I'll do this
[Crime]
This article differs from last year's entertainment SCP-3 softMicrosoftMe If you want to go to Bridget Private Prose because of deep knowledge
They know they are usually an SCP company. If it happened in the article
Mobile phone
Afterword: The original Bees story is on the SCP Wiki. I don’t know who exactly wrote it, but I highly recommend that you read the original. It’s a fantastic dark comedy/psychological horror story that on one hand is funny because the main horror is “What if everything was bees?”, but scary because the main horror is “What if EVERYTHING was bees?”
Check it out here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/bees
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The Ultimate Guide to Marilyn Monroe's Style
Some like it hot!
We've been breaking down our list of 16 classic fashion icons everyone should know. Last week, we covered Diana Ross, the reigning queen of Motown and 1960s trendsetter.
This week, it's all about cinema's brightest star, Marilyn Monroe.
View the original article to see embedded media.
Tomorrow, August 5, marks 56 years since we've lost the famous “blonde bombshell.” But with every passing year, her image grows more and more beloved.
Marilyn's blonde hair, red lips, and beauty mark have made lasting style impressions on us all, but in the 1950s, she was known for being the biggest sex symbol of the era.
Her life has been written about and re-imagined countless times, like in the Oscar nominated My Week with Marilyn, or the ill-fated but still adored (especially by yours truly) TV series Smash. But there are a lot of sides to Marilyn you probably don't know about. Keep reading to find out more about her early life, film career, tragic death, and lasting legacy.
All About Marilyn
Fade In On a Girl...
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Marilyn Monroe was born Norma Jeane Mortenson in Los Angeles, California in 1926. Her father was absent, and her mother suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, spending much of her life in institutions.
Marilyn spent her childhood in and out of various foster homes and orphanages. (TW) During this time she was sexually abused.
When her last foster family wanted to move out of California, laws prohibited them from taking then Norma Jeane with them. Their solution was to have the 16 year old marry Jim Dougherty, the neighbors' son, so she wouldn't go to an orphanage.
Gentlemen Prefer Marilyn
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Dougherty was a marine and had to leave Norma Jeane behind for a while. Around this time, she was working at a factory and was discovered by a photographer to shoot pin-up style photos for the troops. (Fun fact: Marilyn always supported the armed forces and would go on to interrupt her honeymoon to perform in Korea, where the troops adored her.)
By the late 1940s, Norma Jeane had dyed her brown hair lighter and began a modeling and film career. She landed a contract with 20-Century Fox and chose the stage name Marilyn Monroe.
I never wanted to be Marilyn--it just happened. Marilyn's like a veil I wear over Norma Jeane. - Marilyn Monroe
It only took a few years for Marilyn to become a world-wide sensation. But she was typecast and sexualized in films as a the “girl next door” or the “dumb blonde." She often felt limited. She was devoted to the craft and trained in acting, hoping to play different roles.
There's No Business Like Show Business
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Marilyn had a bad reputation on movie sets. She suffered anxiety, stage fright, and low self-esteem (among rumored other issues relating to her childhood traumas).
To cope with this, she took dangerous combinations of drugs and alcohol. As a result, she often showed up late, forgot her lines, and could take hours to film a simple one-line scene.
But in the 1950s, people weren't understanding of her mental health issues, and the executives and men on set were cruel to Marilyn. She became co-dependent on her acting coach and friend Paula Strasberg, much to the dismay of her directors.
View the original article to see embedded media.
Many biographers question Strasberg's influence, as she wanted Monroe to be a method actor; and though she encouraged Marilyn to go to psychoanalysis, she wanted her to use her traumas for acting.
I've spent most of my life running away from myself. - Marilyn Monroe
As she rose to fame with films like Niagara and How To Marry A Millionaire, Marilyn's personal life became a hot topic in the press. She married Joe DiMaggio in a passionate but doomed relationship which lasted just nine months. (After Marilyn passed, Joe continued to send flowers to her grave every week for twenty years.)
"We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle."
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Tired of being underestimated, in 1955 Marilyn founded her own production company (the first woman to do so!) and partnered with Fox under a new contract that would let her pick her own movies, directors, and cinematographers.
She was a women's and civil rights activist, too. She notably helped Ella Fitzgerald get a break by demanding she play a famous venue and attending every show front row.
I don't want to make money. I just want to be wonderful. - Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn remarried to a playwright named Arthur Miller in 1956 and her career kept growing, but her personal health declined. Arguably her most famous and acclaimed film, Some Like It Hot, is also recognized for her famous bad behavior on set.
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In 1961, Marilyn divorced again, and in 1962 began working on her final film Something's Got To Give. But by then, she was severely dependent on substances and struggling with depression and other physical health issues.
Fame will go by, and, so long, I've had you fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. So at least it's something I experienced, but that's not where I live. - Marilyn Monroe
Something's Got To Give had to pause production to allow Marilyn time to heal, but the movie was never finished. Marilyn Monroe died in 1962 of a drug overdose.
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Today, she is still a symbol of style, beauty, and sex. But fans, critics, and biographers' attitudes have shifted towards her infamous behaviors. She's no longer seen as a wild party girl, and instead her personal traumas, mental instabilities, and dedication to her work despite it all are respected and championed.
Marilyn was a feminist and an artist. She demanded rights over her own career in a time when movie contracts exploited actors, and was a talented actress, who managed to sparkle and brighten up every second of screen time even in her darkest personal hours.
Fashion Inspired by Marilyn Monroe
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Marilyn's fashion is constantly imitated, usually with hot pink gloves or flowy white dresses, but I'll let you know now that we'll be taking a different approach. Yes, Marilyn was always in full-glam at press events, rocking the most stunning and expensive designer dresses you could imagine. But she worked closely with photographers to capture a different, more human side of herself.
Keeping it Casual
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Marilyn loved being photographed reading, as it was a major hobby of hers. And when not in costume or red-carpet attire, she sported a smart-casual style that was very trendy in the '50s.
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Products: Top - Boohoo, Bag - The Gap, Shoes - DSW, Shorts - Urban Outfitters
A turtleneck with short sleeves is total casual Marilyn, as is pairing that with high-waisted shorts. For a little bit of fun, get patterned shorts like stripes or houndstooth, which Marilyn has been photographed in before. Her daytime looks blended cute and sophisticated pieces into an original aesthetic.
Cutting Edge Color
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Marilyn loved color and could pull off a floor-length bright red dress or matching turquoise suit like no one else ever had or has since! Her extravagant personal style was so eye-catching because of her choice of figure-flattering shapes and bold, playful colors. Fun fact: Marilyn loved costume jewelry pieces and didn't like owning expensive ones.
Products: Romper - Forever 21, Blazer - Forever 21, Shoes - Old Navy, Bag - New York & Company
A more accessible way to add Marilyn's fun colors into your wardrobe is to choose one bold stand-out piece (like a jacket or jumpsuit) and keep everything else simple. Both on-screen and off, Marilyn mixed business-y, formal elements like blazers or button down shirts with playful and flirty elements, like low-cut tops or leggy bottoms. Choose your accent color and accessorize around it using the Marilyn method!
Let Me Be Your Star
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Okay, I had to do something glamorous for our last look! Marilyn loved performing, and that included putting on a show for her fans when she was out in public and taking gorgeous photos for publications. Shiny, shimmery gowns were a go-to for her.
Products: Dress - Boohoo, Earrings - Belk, Shoes - DSW, Bag - Windsor, Lipstick - Ulta
A low-cut, body-con gown is a must for a Marilyn feel on a night out, as Ms. Monroe was always making headlines for her ultra-feminine looks. She enjoyed the attention and had fun playing with her sensuality in outfits, so strappy heels and red lipstick, two sensual staples, are also classic Marilyn elements.
Will you be channeling your inner Marilyn?
Marilyn was a fashionista, and even over 50 years after her passing, we still look to her for style guidance! Her beauty and fashion won't ever be forgotten, but we'll remember her perseverance, dedication, and talent forever, too.
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Are you dyeing your hair platinum blonde? Will you be drawing on a beauty mark with some red lipstick? Let us know how you'll be dressing as Marilyn in the comments below!
And for more information on Marilyn Monroe, check out these great sources:
Biography.com Marilyn Monroe: Fascinating Facts About the Real Woman Behind the Legend
Harper's Bazaar 20 Real Marilyn Monroe Quotes That Will Change What You Think of the Icon
How Stuff Works Entertainment Marilyn Monroe's Early Life
Mental Floss 14 Fascinating Facts About Marilyn Monroe
Vanity Fair Marilyn and Her Monsters
Wikipedia Marilyn Monroe
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