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starlit-dreaming · 7 months

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when honestly you can't recall (Baxter Ward/MC) p2

Rating: M

Romantic Ships: Baxter Ward/Original Character(s); Derek Suárez/Leandra “Lee” Last

Platonic Ships: Main Character | Jamie Last & Leandra “Lee” Last, Main Character | Jamie Last & Original Character(s)

Tags: Unplanned Pregnancy, Single Parent, Angst w/a Happy Ending

TL;DR: A self-indulgent Single Parent AU. Lee has a better relationship with my MC compared to Liz. I wrote this when the Baxter DLC was still in beta, so I opted to avoid writing spoilers (for now) and to avoid rewriting moments of the Jude/Scott wedding.

A/N: Cross-Posted on AO3 under the same title (@ Starlit_Dreaming). There's gonna be more fluff in the next chapter, but I've also written like... 5% of the next chapter, and I've only been able to finish due to having free time in the last few weeks.

Obligatory Tag: @arcosoffireheart

Links: 1 | [2] | 3 | 4

Summary:

Everyone assumes that Gabby is exactly like her mother, but Rosaline will always see the traces of her daughter’s father. The shape of her eyes, how fussy she gets if there’s even a hint of conflict, every moment her daughter is calm and serene in her arms, the sweet and gentle smiles.

Her daughter does not have her black hair, either. Wavy hair, yes, but it was not fully black and her father has only ever dyed his hair.

It’s a miracle that nobody notices their similarities.

Including Baxter himself.

// In which Rosaline ends up becoming a single mother in the aftermath of her and Baxter’s summer fling. Some things change. Some things don’t.

——————————————————————

Part 2: i don't care (it's taking me apart)

——————————————————————

Then

Mid-Summer

Step 3: Age 18

———————————

“It’s… I don’t know. A frightening situation?”

It felt wrong hearing those words coming from Rosaline of all people. Throughout their childhood, she was always taking things in stride and going with the flow. No matter how scared or anxious she would get, she would always pull herself together and stand tall. Maybe it had to do with Cove, who always relied on her as a shoulder to lean on.

Cove was precious, there was no doubt about that, but Rosa tried so hard to stand tall for his sake that it’s hard for her to rely on him in the same way.

And that’s where Lee came in.

There were some matters that were easier to share between Rosa and Cove, but things like this were easier to share between Rosa and Lee. Lee was Rosa’s shoulder to lean on, the person she cried to. And still, it feels wrong hearing those words coming from her cousin. Her cousin deserved to be happy, to smile without a care in the world.

“Why’s that?” Lee asked, tilting her head back to look at Rosaline, who was sitting on the monkey bars and letting her feet kick back and forth.

They were both honestly too big to be using the park — it used to feel like such a huge place when they were kids, but not any more. Rosaline stares off at the sunset, and Lee simply leans her back against the ladder, watching her cousin.

What a solemn look — it didn’t suit Rosaline at all.

“I’ve only been dating Baxter for two months now,” Rosaline stated. “The honeymoon phase wore off, but… I’m still really into him. Like, thinking about a future, getting married one day, that type of seriousness. It’s just… kinda scary to me. I’ve never felt this way about someone before.”

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it? Since you’re dating. You’re not the kind of person to date casually to begin with.”

Not that anyone actually knew that. Lee was the one Rosaline talked to when it came to anything romance-related, and sure, she might’ve mentioned something to Cove, but he wasn’t too interested. Probably on the ace spectrum, if she really wanted to make a guess.

Granted, Rosaline often broke things off with her exes within a month of dating. Either red flags that Lee noticed or because of incompatibility — most of those red flags being some who tried getting her number, despite dating Rosa, and Rosa promptly gave them the boot the second Lee said something. The fact that Baxter never asked Lee for her number when they met on the little boat trip was already a pretty good indication that he’s not interested in getting into somebody’s pants and dipping out after.

In fact, Lee was pretty confident that Baxter was equally head over heels for Rosaline. Is he just not communicating that to her?

“Yeah, that’s true, but still,” Rosaline sighed, wryly smiling. “I get jealous thinking that he’ll find you or somebody else prettier, even when I know that his eyes are almost always on me. I get all insecure, wondering if I’m good enough for him, or wondering when we’ll be breaking up because he finds someone new. What if we can’t handle long-distance? What if he loses interest in me? I just want to hog all his attention.”

“If he’s the type to break up with you because of something like that, then he’s definitely not worth your time and affections, but I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Lee stated rather confidently, moving to stand in front of Rosaline. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Rosa. There’s no way he’ll break up with you for those kinds of reasons. He’s nothing like your exes.”

“…You really think so?”

“I know so,” Lee grinned, reaching to hold her cousin’s hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. “You’re both absolutely smitten with each other. It’s a bummer that Derek won’t be back before summer ends. We could’ve gone on a double date!”

“Yeah,” Rosaline smiled softly. “Maybe next year, unless Baxter has a chance to come back sooner.”

“For you? I think he’d do whatever he can to make you happy.”

———————————

Then

Early Spring

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 19

———————————

“For you, I think she would’ve done anything to make you happy,” Carol murmured softly.

They both stood on the porch, an old envelope in Carol’s hands as she took her hat off, curly grey and white hair revealing itself as she held the hat over her chest. She seemed to be doing some sort of silent prayer, as she looked at Rosaline with a distant look in her blue eyes.

Eventually, she smiled, something sad and soft and gentle as she puts her hat back on and hands her the envelope. “I suppose it isn’t so terrible, in the end. You grew up happy and healthy, Rosaline, something that we all had hoped for,” she said with crinkled eyes. “And while it’s not how she envisioned it, the house is yours.”

“…thank you,” Rosaline awkwardly said, gently taking the letter into her hands. “For coming out here with me. For not selling the house and everything that belonged to… my birth mother.”

“Oh, don’t go thanking me for a silly thing like that,” Carol lightly laughed, waving her off as she approaches the front door, digging through her purse for the key. “Val was like a second daughter to me, and even without renting this house, I make enough money to keep this place. Coming here and showing you the house would be better than leaving you here to handle it on your own.”

“…you mentioned earlier that you stopped renting the house…?” Rosaline questioned as the door opens, and Carol steps aside, gesturing Rosaline to walk inside first. Wordlessly, she enters.

What greets her is a home with cream-coloured walls that appear to be freshly painted over and a stairway with a child gate at the top and bottom. On her left is a small carpet area with bean bags and two regular-sized bookshelves — one filled with minimal and minor decor, and the other half-empty and half-filled with books as if waiting for the next renter to fill in the empty spaces. The right of the stairs shows a short hallway with a door to the garage, and at the end of the hall is an open door, leading through a laundry room which also leads into a bedroom from what she could tell.

“Yeah,” Carol said. “You had just turned 18 when I stopped renting the house to people. All of my renters here were single parents who needed a place until they could find their footing, and the last renter’s lease only finished up recently.”

Rosaline walks towards the bookshelves as Carol closes the door and puts her keys away.

“It’s up to you if you still want to keep that sort of thing up with this house, but I imagine it’d come in handy for your current situation.”

Upon closer inspection of the books, Rosa noticed that on the bottom shelf was an assortment of children’s books. Half appeared to be brand new, and she suspects that it has to do with the fact that actual children had grown up in this house thanks to Carol’s past renters, and Carol’s renters had gone out of their way to buy new ones.

In contrast to the bottom shelf, was the top to middle shelf where an adult would have a much easier time to grab and go. Some books on the top shelf were old and worn, gently gone through multiple times in many years, yet still well-maintained. There was a book of names, with pages marked with pieces of paper that stuck out from between the pages. But most notably were the self-help books, the cookbooks for beginners, recipes to sneak in vegetables for picky eaters, basic first aid, and many more.

This bookshelf was curated to best help a first-time parent, and that fact was evident with how many books didn’t look brand new.

“I… am really sorry. For not talking to you about Valerie back then. You look so much like her, but you’re an awful lot like your moms,” Carol said, walking over and standing beside Rosaline. “I couldn’t bring myself to properly meet you back then. I lost both of my daughters and just couldn’t let go of my grief. Valerie, who died in an accident, and Veronica, who died in childbirth.”

“I see… I’m sorry that I can’t really understand how you feel.”

“Nonsense. Yes, you do look like Valerie, and who knows, maybe you’ll share similarities with her, but you take after your mom and mother. I can see that you have such a light-hearted and joyful approach to life just like Pamela, and you are a sympathetic and comforting sort of soul like Noelani.”

“…what was she like?”

“Valerie was an orphan who started working part-time as a receptionist at Lacework Lenders. She didn’t have anyone else, just me and the others, but she and Veronica were sisters in everything but paperwork. No boyfriend or husband either — her ex ran off the second he found out that she was pregnant, but Val was very stubborn. Nothing stopped her from wanting to keep you and have a family of her own.”

She tried not to feel guilty over a woman that she might never consider as anything more than a birth mother.

“What happened to her?”

“A car accident,” Carol shook her head. “I don’t know all the details, but you were born early, and she was alive long enough to give you a name. Nobody knew your father, so we couldn’t contact him, we couldn’t do anything about him, really. I don’t think Val wanted him to know about you, either.”

“Well, that’s fine. I’m not interested in finding a father figure — I already have two in my life.”

Gregorio Suárez and Cliff Holden were the only dads in her life, and she didn’t care to find someone who never wanted the title to begin with. Men who didn’t want to own up to the consequences of their actions weren’t worth an ounce of her time, anyway.

“Good,” Carol nodded, pretty much agreeing with the unspoken thought. “Past this room and the stairs is the kitchen. My daughters worked on redesigning it to be a spacious kitchen — unfortunately it’s also been baby proofed, so some things might be difficult to open.”

Rosaline nodded along as they moved into the kitchen. The edges of the counters all had edge guards, making it less likely for children to get hurt from it. That… was actually fairly smart. She never considered doing that with counters, so it really was a good choice for her to come see the house. If she doesn’t move in, she’ll keep that in mind the next time she shops for her future baby.

Past the kitchen and dining area was a wide living room with carpeting and an L-shaped sofa set. There was a TV mounted above an electric fireplace, with an empty toy box in the corner.

“You’ll have to buy the toys yourself for your child,” Carol said. “The children of the previous renters often took the toys with them, but they usually buy some starting toys for the next renters. The previous renters did buy you a few baby blankets, though.”

“They left me stuff…?” Rosaline blinked.

“It’s only polite that they did,” Carol smiled at her warmly. “They went through similar problems like you, and a small bit of kindness can go a long way. They wanted to help you in a way that they were able to, just as the previous renters have done for them. You’d still have to buy some things of your own, of course, like milk formula and baby wipes. Val’s things were left untouched in the back shed, but we can go over that later since we’re just here to look at the house today. I know that it can be… a lot.”

It felt… strange. Despite the fact that there were renters before her, everything about this house just seemed to be done for her and her birth mother the more she looked around.

But her birth mother never had the chance.

The idea of using it for herself just felt unsettling. It felt wrong, as if she was stomping on her birth mother’s dreams.

“Why don’t you have a seat on the sofa and I fix us up with some water, hmm?” Carol kindly smiled, gently placing a hand on Rosaline’s shoulder as she guided her over to the sofa, sitting her done. “And don’t go feeling sorry for Valerie. She would’ve been furious that I didn’t come help you in your time of need. I think it would let her rest easy, too, knowing that her own preparations would help out not just strangers in a similar situation, but also help you out with your own child.”

Rosaline rubbed her eyes, her other hand resting on her swollen belly as Carol wordlessly walked towards the kitchen, getting them both a glass of water.

Once, when she and Liz talked about their birth parents, she told her that she didn’t understand. Because the life she lived is hers, and that she could never imagine anything else. She loves her moms so much, and the idea of having different parents from childhood was unthinkable. The very idea of never being Cove’s neighbour hurts too much, the idea of never knowing the people in her life now.

And yet, this house was proof of a life that could’ve been, but never was. She could’ve been an only child, she could’ve been in a family of two. Maybe she would’ve acted like Derek had once thought she would when Father’s Day came around, maybe Father's Day would’ve become a sore topic of conversation.

Living here, she would’ve gone to the same school as Lee and Derek, she would’ve known them, but would she have been just as good friends with them? Maybe, maybe not.

(Would she have met Baxter, still?)

But here she is now, with all of that being only what-ifs.

“Do you have a name for them?” Carol asked, placing the cups of water onto the table and handing Rosa a packet of tissues from her purse.

“Gregory for a boy, Gabrielle for a girl,” Rosaline sniffed, taking the packet of tissues. “Gray or Gabby for nicknames. Maybe Greg or Brielle — I’m not sure which nickname to use. I just… their father doesn’t know, and I want him to see this child and understand that they are a symbol of the love we shared.”

She was being sentimental, and she was just thankful that everyone thought that she was just naming her child after Gregorio. It was dumb, and maybe she’d cringe in a normal situation, because Baxter had the whole black and white theme, and already she thought of their child as gray.

“Those are good names,” Carol smiled kindly, rubbing her back reassuringly. “And if he has an ounce of love for you, he’ll grow to care for your unborn child, if he ever meets them.”

“…would… Valerie really be okay with this?” With me, goes unsaid.

“Positive.”

———————————

Then

Mid-Autumn

Step 3: Age 18

———————————

“…positive.”

Rosaline let out a shaky breath, looking at the test before tossing it into the small wastebasket.

Her purple eyes stared off into space, lost in her thoughts. And when she turns to look at Lee, standing at the doorway of the bathroom, she looked as if she were looking for something. For someone. She hugs herself, looking small and even more fragile than she’s ever been.

And Lee knows that it’s not her who Rosaline is looking for, but she’s here, nevertheless. She’s the only one who’s here for her right now.

So, she does the only thing that she can do. Lee hugs her, warm and careful as if Rosaline were precious. She rubs her cousin’s back, hoping to give her as much comfort that she was willing to accept at this moment.

“Whatever you decide, I’m here for you.”

Rosaline doesn’t need assurance for anyone else. Lee knows her cousin, and she knows that Rosaline needs her assurance, because she’s here, she’s here and everyone else isn’t because of various reasons outside of her control. She’ll need their individual reassurances later, but Lee doesn’t need to wait to voice her own.

And then, Rosaline relaxes her tense shoulders, returning the hug tightly. Her eyes were watering, Lee noticed, and soon, it dampens the shoulder of her shirt where Rosaline laid her head against.

“I… I want to keep it.”

And unlike everyone else who would ask and showcase their disbelief, Lee nods, accepting it without question, “Okay.”

Because she knows better than anyone how much Rosaline gets stuck in her own head. She must’ve thought it over hundreds of times before the confirmation, before telling Lee, before asking her to be here tonight.

“And… I… I want you to be their godmother.”

“Of course,” she nods, knowing that she was going to be the godmother from the very start. Liz might feel hurt by that fact, but Liz also wasn’t always there for Rosaline throughout their lives. Lee was. Lee always was. “We’ll love and support you,” she adds, before Rosaline starts panicking over reactions next.

Everyone will spoil Rosaline’s unborn child, she just knows it.

Rosaline sniffed, eyes watering. “Will… will you be there…? When I—when I talk to my moms?”

“Always.”

———————————

Two Months Ago

Beginning of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

“Always,” Lee murmured, eyes glimmering with unshed tears in the dazzling lights.

Her gaze never leaves Derek’s as she speaks into the microphone, phone in hand as she says her vows. “Somehow, some way, fate brought us here today. When we reunited in high school of our sophomore year, after losing contact for that previous year due to conflicting schedules and busy lives, I thought it was a miracle that we managed to pick our friendship up right where we left it. When you had that summer training camp in the year after our graduation, our relationship was tested by distance when we decided to become more than friends. When you had to move to a different city for college, I stayed local, and still I wanted to be with you. Despite the distance, I knew that you were the one for me.”

Cove was definitely crying among all of Derek’s grooms men, as evident when one of Derek’s brothers grins, quietly giving him a packet of tissues. Rosaline just smiled softly at the scene before her among Lee’s bridesmaids. Her maid of honour, naturally.

“When you asked me to move in with you, I was excited — I wanted to fall asleep in your arms and wake up to your smile, and that’s how I knew that I was and still am head over heels for you, after all of our time being together.”

Derek started to tear up, holding her free hand as he stared at her as if she hung the stars in the night sky.

“I love you, so much more than what words can describe, and I swear to you that I will always love you. I’ll hold your hand through the good and bad, I’ll love you for who you are now and who you have yet to be, and I’ll stay with you, side by side, no matter the challenges that may come our way.”

She slips her phone into the pocket of her wedding dress, seamlessly hidden, a detail that Rosaline included in the design.

“I love you, Derek Suárez, and I can’t wait to build our future together.”

———————————

~1 Year Ago

Mid-Summer

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 22

———————————

“…and I can’t wait to build our future together,” Lee read, eyes trained on her phone screen as she squinted at the screen.

Rosaline stared at her sketchbook, sketching potential design patterns. They’re in Rosaline’s living room, with her sitting at the dining table sketching out potential designs for the dresses.

“Well?” Lee prompted, looking up at her cousin from her spot on the L-shaped sofa. “What do you think?”

“I think you’ve been rereading your vows a little too much,” Rosaline sighed, smiling wryly at Lee as she placed her pencil down. “It’s perfectly fine. You talked about your relationship, that you’ll both overcome the challenges together, and that you love him. Add more, and it’ll be a long presentation-level speech. Cut it too much, and it’ll be incredibly short for a vow. I think it’s fine the way it is, especially because it’s your feelings for him.”

“Mm…” Lee frowned, looking unconvinced. And nervous, Rosaline noticed. “And… it’s okay? You really think so?”

“Why would I think otherwise?” Rosaline raised a brow, picking her pencil up again to draw a purse. “Do you want your purse to match your reception dress? Or should I make it be a pop of colour like a flower bouquet, so it stands out?”

“Matching. I want people to see the dresses I wear and be wowed instead of focusing on my purse, and if I want the purse to stand out, I’ll just use it with a different outfit,” Lee leaned back into the sofa, frowning. “And I… that’s not what I meant, I mean,” she groaned, flopping down, lying around as she looked at her, almost guiltily. “You know I love you, right?”

“Uh, yeah? Where are you going with this?” Rosaline smiled, feeling downright confused.

“How uh… how are you and Baxter doing?”

Oh. It was then that Rosaline realized what Lee was getting at. The wedding is meant to be a heartfelt occasion, filled with happy tears and bright smiles all around. And here Lee was, concerned for Rosaline and Baxter, who both broke up because Baxter refused to try a long distance relationship.

And Lee was especially worried about hitting on a nerve with that speech.

Well, she admits that she’s a bit… sad that Baxter wasn’t willing to have an LDR like Lee and Derek, but she feels vindicated knowing that he’s now working for a couple that he expected to have broken up. It evened out on that front, and frankly the petty side of her thinks that Lee ought to emphasize that distance meant nothing to a couple who worked together.

Although Baxter had yet to ask her about Gabrielle. A fact that enrages her more than upsets her, but she understood why he feigns indifference.

Not everyone wanted to tackle the hurdles of parenthood.

“Nothing new,” she simply said. Honestly, Baxter was the same as ever. Only he of all people could confidently keep her at arms length even when they were technically in contact. “Apart from the group chat, he doesn’t directly text me. Assuming that he still has my number.”

And what did she expect? For him to step up, to talk to her about Gabrielle after he saw her for the first time? Did he even want to see the child beyond that initial first meeting?

“Not even about…?”

“Nope, but that’s okay,” Rosaline smiled. It did hurt, but Rosaline could deal with it. Her birth mother and her had shit taste in men judging from what she knew from Carol. “Besides, I don’t think Gabby cares about not having a dad. She’s already getting spoiled rotten by everybody, and seriously, it’s a bit funny.”

Lee barks out a laugh at that, “That’s true! Gabby practically has four grandmas and two grandpas, several uncles, and several aunties. Has Liz been gifting her more presents?”

“Mhmm, but Brielle still loves you and your pink hair more than she loves Liz, but that’s a secret,” Rosaline teasingly stated before humming much more thoughtfully to herself. “Honestly, worse comes to worst, I can always ask Cove if he’s fine with doing that whole second parent adoption thing, if she really wants a dad. Cove’s a sucker for her anyway, so he would cry happily if that happened, even if he’s never thought of it.”

“True, he really takes good care of her,” Lee smiled. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you two were a thing.”

“Maybe in another life,” she laughed. “But Cove’s definitely my brother.”

———————————

Then

Beginning of Summer

Step 3: Age 18

———————————

“Cove’s definitely my brother,” Rosaline laughed.

“That’s reassuring,” Baxter commented, smiling as they strolled through the boardwalk. “And here I thought that perhaps he was your first love.”

She doesn’t miss a step, her smile remains, as she watches Baxter from the corner of her eyes. But her heart skips a beat, her gut freezes, her mind reeling with imposing thoughts. Why would he say that? Naturally, there’s only one reason as to why he’d wonder, and why he’d look at her with incredible interest.

Her first love is Baxter Ward, back when she only knew him as the enchanting boy who swept her off her feet. That was an undeniable fact.

Rosaline, however, doesn’t admit it.

“Nope, that honour belongs to Mr Cliff Holden, Cove’s father!”

It wasn’t a lie, technically. She did think that Cove’s father was cute, but not to a point where she was romantically interested. The idea of it was plain weird, and she and Lee both got a kick out of it when she mentioned it, meanwhile Cove was mortified that she ever thought of his father as “cute” and “attractive”.

Cove was even more horrified (which she never thought was possible) when she told him that his mother was super cute, because she actually did develop a minor crush on Kyra back then. Now she’s just “mom three” to her. She’s not afraid to admit that someone’s attractive, but it’s a rather fun embarrassment, one that only gets mentioned as a tease from Lee, when it’s just her and her cousin, since Cove prefers to forget it entirely.

He had smiled, at first, in disbelief, before cackling at it, grinning when she mentioned Cove’s reaction to her minor childhood infatuation. Afterwards, Baxter was laughing, a reaction that she both expected and wanted. The tale is a fun exaggeration, and it safely tucks away the fact of her first love.

After all, it’s a bit much to confess to your first love, especially one you still had affections for.

Still, he was absolutely adorable…

———————————

~1 Year Ago

Mid-Summer

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 22

———————————

“She’s rather adorable,” Baxter absentmindedly comments.

Rosaline blinks, glancing over at him, but his eyes remain on the road. She thinks, for a moment, before realizing that maybe he finally wants to talk about Gabrielle.

“Yeah, Brielle is the cutest person in my life,” she smiled, thinking of her daughter.

“I would’ve expected her to come along, to be truthful.” It’s just small talk, but he’s finally showing interest.

“Well, my job can get rather hectic, and Carol keeps an eye on her for me until Cove gets off work. He normally watches over her whenever he’s home.”

“Ah… so you and Cove?”

“We live together, yeah.”

His hand grips the wheel tightly. Was he jealous that Cove spent more time with Gabrielle than him? He should just be honest about that, honestly. If he asked, she would’ve been happy to let him slowly build up a relationship with their daughter.

“I see…” he sounded rather… dejected. Almost accepting of the situation.

“I can always bring her along next time,” Rosaline offered. “She’ll be disappointed that I’m going to a bakery without her,” she chuckled.

“If that’s what you’d like,” he smiled, fake just like all the other smiles.

Even now, he was still holding back.

———————————

Several Days Ago

End of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

Even now, she felt like she was holding back.

“It’s okay, we can handle the clean-up,” Cove reassured her, his hand a warm comfort on her shoulder. “Take a break, Rosa,” he smiled. “Gabby’s with Lee; she came by to drop her off with your moms. So it’s fine, just… take a breather? You deserve it after all that’s happened.”

“The wedding’s over, so you can just leave it to us,” Terry grinned, and Miranda smiles, nodding along with him encouragingly.

She relaxes her tense shoulders, and she manages to smile back at them, feeling a bit weak.

“Yeah… you’re right. I need a break,” she took in a shaky breath and stands up. Eyes searching around the mostly empty room, spotting Baxter’s distant figure. She walks, her heels tapping against the marble floor as she deliberately bridges the gap between them.

And it’s Baxter, who keeps his back turned, whose back shifts as if tensing as her footsteps draw closer and closer. And it’s Baxter, and it’s always been Baxter, who draws her attention.

“Baxter,” she says, breathing, and steeling her expression.

He’s going to run away from her again, and if he does, she’s not quite sure how she’ll be able to handle it. Would it result in another night, crying in Lee’s arms like back then? She supposes that it’s a good thing Lee texted her earlier, saying to call her whenever she gets home. They both didn’t expect him to stay and talk.

“Ah, Rosaline,” he greets, turning to face her with that infuriatingly familiar smile. It was the same smile he used to maintain his professionalism, the same smile that showed her that he was just going to keep pulling away from her. His posture shows a clear desire to leave ASAP.

And her heart drops. Because even now, she was hoping that he would just… turn around and change his mind. That maybe he would give himself another chance with her.

But no, she supposes that was just a dream, and this was just her fulfilling a promise.

It’s just a dance, she tells herself and tries not to cry.

#wynter writes #fic: when honestly you can't recall #baxter ward #our life: beginnings & always #baxter x mc

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theonevoice · 7 months

Text

Two halves of the same being

Ok friends, it had to happen sooner or later: I wrote a thing. I was stuck in a train station yesterday evening and this thing was screaming to be put on paper, so I did it. I wrote it all down directly as a post, over 3-4 hours of total estrangement, therefore I don't even know exactly how long it is, and it is probably encrusted with typos and titanic grammatical errors. It is also written in a language that I don't master at all, and it is my first attempt at narration since - I kid you not - the year of our lord 2006. This is really less then a draft, it's a test-drive of the storytelling side of my hyperfixated brain. If someone feels like skimming it and pointing out mistakes and things that sound wrong, I will be very grateful! Anyway, as far as fanfic genres go, I guess this would qualify as historical-minisode one shot: Aziraphale and Crowley are in Rome in 1509 and get more or less accidentally involved in the creation of a certain Renaissance masterpiece.

November 1509, Rome.

The heavy robe swooshed quietly as a white-blonde bishop entered the chapel door with a satisfied smile, like a man who had just escaped boredom for fun.

A man in a leather apron full of pockets and stained all over was standing at a cluttered table by the wall, staring gloomily at the figures sketched on a large sheet of brownish paper.

- Maestro!

The man raised his curly dark-haired head and pointed a pair of firey eyes on the newcomer. The dark circles around his eyes gave out the strange impression of a feverish man on the verge of collapsing mixed with a feral beast ready to jump at its prey. It was freezing in there, but he was wearing a shirt with sleeves rolled all the way up to his elbows, and his hairy forearms were covered in white dust and paint dribbles. He was a rather short man, but well-built and muscular, and even if the bishop was considerably taller and not thin himself, he felt that he could have easily knocked him down in one move.

- Monsignor Fell, back again...

The man didn't sound pleased, but he didn't sound displeased either. Considered his well-known temper and given the circumstances, his reaction was relatively welcoming. One could have even called it encouraging. After all, noone was ever really at ease in Rome. Especially not in that part of Rome.

- I was eager to see your progress. - Aziraphale said with a honest smile. - I hope I'm not disturbing your work. Please don't mind my presence.

They both instinctively looked up.

The enormous vault of the Sistine Chapel was looming over the empty hall as a giant shield, halfway covered in massive figures. Those bodies looked so real and heavy that they felt like they could plummet any second all the way down to the floor and crash the unfortunate bystanders. It was like a threatening storm of colors and shapes slowly covering the old starry sky.

- Not much progress to see. - Growled Michelangelo, turning back to the sketches and tossing a piece of reddish chalk on the table. - I'm bloody stuck.

Aziraphale moved his eyes across the ceiling, down to the farthest end of the vault, where the golden stars were still dimly shining on a deep blue background, on the two sides of the large ugly crack, now filled with bricks, that had scarred the old affresco when the south wall had shifted. It was a sad spectacle. He had liked the starry sky. It was beautiful.

- Stuck? How do you mean?

Aziraphale forced himself to look away from the ceiling and gently stared at the painter, who had turned his back on him and was angrily standing over his desk with his stained hands on his hips, like a severe father in front of a misbehaving child.

- I mean stuck. - The artist repeated drily, throwing an annoyed look at monsignor Fell. The bishop offered him a sympathetic smile, a strangely maternal smile that seemed to be saying that he took his worries very seriously but at the same time he was sure they were not insurmountable.

Michelangelo sighed forlornly. He didn't like priests, but he didn't mind this one. He curiously seemed very little concerned with church matters and a lot more interested in random things like paintings and statues and choir rehearsals. He had even spotted him more than once in a couple of his favourite osterie, and he meant the good ones, those small half-hidden godforsaken places that only the locals knew, ignored by travellers and definitely not visited by clergymen. And he had seen him sitting there in plain sight, amidst the common people of Rome, as if noone could tell that he was a bishop - and God knew if bishops were a hatred species in the streets of the Holy City. It was truly a miracle that he could just walk in there, eat and drink like he were any carter or boatman, and not end up robbed or stabbed or poisoned. He had even seen Teresina at the Gatto morto pour him the good wine once, the one that the innkeeper kept only for himself and his closest friends. Furthermore, he had a nice eye for drawing: in the past few weeks he had been visiting the chapel almost daily, and had dropped some genuinely good remarks. Some of them even brilliant. He relaxed his shoulders and continued with a softer tone:

- This is not working and I'm not putting this up there, con tutta la fatica che costa.

Aziraphale looked up again, this time at the wooden structure that was stretching upwards like a dark solid cobweb. It took indeed a lot of effort, to climb up there, dragging along the large cartoni with the refined lineart to transfer on the plaster, standing hours and hours arched backwards to paint over your head, seventy feet above the ground, with the colors running down the brush and dripping on your face...

- Do you mind me seeing the sketch?

The painter made a vague gesture to let him approach the table and eyed him with a certain curiosity when the bishop let out a little gasp and a peculiar nostalgic expression settled on his face. It was the sketch for the campata of the Original Sin.

Aziraphale felt a warm mix of emotions filling his chest, not all of which he dared to name. He focused on the drawing. Michelangelo was right: it was wrong, even if he could not imagine how wrong.

In the sketch, Adam and Eve were sitting at the center, under the Tree, Eve reaching up for a fruit, Adam following her movement with a concerned look. On the right half of the piece, in a stretch of desert, the confused shape of an angel was roughly outlined: he was standing all straight and rigid with his sword raised above his head and a threatening finger pointing at the first humans. The left side was mostly filled with a generic looking garden, too lush and too earthly at the same time, and the only other presence was a little, ugly dragon-like creature, with a grotesque charcoal snut, sharp teeth and a biforcated tongue sticking out.

Aziraphale at first didn't pay it much attention, but after a second he suddenly realised what he was looking at and his jaw dropped.

- Is that supposed to be the Serpent of Eden!?

He asked in a high pitched voiced, sounding somewhat scandalised.

Michelangelo frowned and pulled out his most intimidating look.

- What else should it be?

- But that's not how it looked at all!

The bishop exclaimed, entirely unfazed. "Here it comes," thought to himself the painter, letting out a huff of resigned annoyance, "another punctilious catechist who wants me to stick to some stupid half line in the Bible." But, much to his surprise, monsignor Fell did not bring up any biblical reference. He looked vaguely offended and at the same time, for some reason, deeply amused.

- And how did it look? - Michelangelo asked sarcastically, posing like someone who is interrogating an eyewitness. But the bishop didn't seem to get the hint, and instead answered with a focused face, as he were actually about to recount him old memories.

- Well, it looked... - Aziraphale paused, searching the right word. He found himself suddenly assaulted by a number of adjectives that he had not anticipated. - He looked... - his tongue ended up picking one before his mind had time to evaluate the implications - ...seductive.

- Seductive. - Michelangelo looked at him with an incredulous face and his eyebrows were all the way up to his hairline.

Aziraphale stumbled.

- I mean... He- he was the original tempter... - He tried to regroup. His thoughts were strangely tumbling in his head. - You see, in order to be effective in his... tempting, he couldn't have look like an ugly little monster. - Yes, that was reasonable, it was a logical explanation, just a sensible thing that nobody could disagree on. - He had to look... - but then again, Aziraphale felt a sense of warmth of unclear origin raising to his face, and his voice cracked in a weird way, - ...beautiful. Charming. He had to be so, so fascinating, that you couldn't help listening to him, considering his reasons... I mean, the poor, naive humans, that is. They couldn't help...

His voice trailed off mid sentence. Michelangelo was still staring at him with a certain look, but the words of the bishop were not completely absurd.

- And he didn't crawl. That was not what he was. - He finished with a sort of fond determination.

- You make it sound quite impressive, for the one who damned humanity.

- Oh but he didn't mean to! - Once again, Aziraphale ignored the astonished expression on the other's face. A deep, obscure feeling of injustice was tugging at his soul. He didn't mean to have them damned. It was an overreaction. His voiced lowered ever so slightly, sounding somewhat sad. - From his point of view, he was... freeing them. He was giving them a choice, he didn't force them. He was letting the door of their cage open to see what they would do.

- Does the Pope know that you go around spreading this sort of ideas?

- Pah, what should he know.

They both startled as that last sentence echoed in all its outrageous blasphemy on the high walls. They looked around in the empty chapel tucking their heads between their shoulders, like two kids who had just inadvertently laughed out loud during the silent bit of the mass.

A moment of embarassed silence fell in the room. But the words of monsignor Fell had already stirred the painter's imagination.

- Beautiful, you say... - He repeated, almost speaking to himself, squinting at the left corner of his sketch as a different version of the scene started emerging in his mind. - Not crawly...

The chapel door opened suddenly and a very alarmed young seminarist run inside.

- Monsignor Fell! - He cried. - I've been looking for you everywhere! The assembly started half an hour ago.

- Did it indeed?

The bishop replied, looking like someone who knew perfectly well when the assembly was scheduled and had deliberately made sure to miss it. Michelangelo found himself wondering once more where on earth had they found such a singular minister of the church, who was now tenderly smiling at the seminarist, visibly moved to pity by his distressed expression.

- Well then, I suppose I will be coming right away. - He gave one last look at the sketch as he stepped away from the table. - Thank you for your time, maestro. And forgive me for... - He hesitated, as if trying to free himself from some last string of thought that was keeping him tied there. - ...for my suggestions.

The painter watched the white-blonde head disappear beyond the door that the alarmed seminarist closed after them, and all of a sudden the vast chapel felt colder than it was moments before. In the silence he could hear that it was raining outside. He took a deep breath, felt the freezing air filling his lungs and a shiver running down his spine, but his mind was on fire: an entirely new image was coming to life, one that the pope would probably not appreciate, and that was the best part.

He decided to take the rest of the day off to work on his idea and run to the Gatto morto, where he knew that Teresina would free the little corner table near the fireplace for him, with a light good enough to draw and a wine good enough to keep himself inspired.

- Now that is quite the progress since the last time I saw it!

The man had approached him so silently that Michelangelo almost spilled his jug over the new sketches.

- What are you doing here, Antonio? Aren't you supposed to stay away from the city after the ban? Se ti prendono gli svizzeri ti fanno la festa.

- Oh come on! Do you really think anyone would notice me? - The man threw himself on the chair on the opposite side of the table and crossed his long legs, unwrapping himself from his large black cloak.

- Yes, I do. - He replied, expressively pointing at the man he knew by the name of Antonio, all clad in black, with his exotic smoked spectacles and his bright red hair brushing his shoulders.

Crowley raised his glass with a bright white smile, like he had just been complimented.

- I thought you were in Florence.

- I've just come back from a lovely visit to your dear friend.

- He's not my friend.

Crowley's smile grew even wider, and the painter suddenly felt ashamed and annoied. He had spent the last several years convincing everyone including himself that he did not consider Leonardo his rival, that he was perfectly indifferent to his achievements and was not at all vexed by people talking about him, and it had took all of ten seconds to this man to make him snap without even naming the other one.

- He is making some formidable machinery, these days. Oh, and some really masterful portraits. - His irritating grin was unbearable. - You should see them.

Draining all his will power, Michelangelo managed to keep his mouth shut and focused all his attention back on his new sketches.

- I'm busy, what do you want?

- I've come to see your progress! - Antonio said cheerfully, grabbing his drawings before he could stop him. - Quite impressive, indeed...

His expression became imperceptibly more serious as he was examining the small piece of paper where the painter had sketched a new version of the Original Sin campata. Michelangelo knew that he had not liked the first version: months before, he had come to his shop all swagger and cockiness as always, and after seeing the initial sketch of the Eden had left without saying a word and somehow had earned himself a ban from Rome. Not that it had stopped him from coming back on a whim just to mock him with news of Leonardo's incredible machinery, apparently. And after all, the swiss guard really seemed to ignore him to an impossible degree, as he were invisible. Michelangelo had a certain suspect that Antonio was having an affair or more than one with someone inside the Curia, earning the protection of a dame or two. Or a monsignore or two. Or both, whatever. Now he seemed struck by the new version of the scene.

The sketch was nothing more than a bunch of thick lines on a small piece of paper, but you could make out that the Serpent was no longer on the ground, but wrapped around the Tree, had no monstruous features but a human-like torso, and his head was towering higher than all the other characters in the scene.

Michelangelo watched him staring intentely at the drawing, with an unreadable expression on his face, until he put down the piece of paper with a careful movement.

- You're good, good job. - He said, trying to make it sound casual, but with a weird note in his voice.

- I know I'm good. - The painter said, grabbing the drawing angrily. - But this change is throwing off the entire composition. Now I have three characters in the middle and this one over here. - He muttered, pointing all disgruntled at what was supposed to be the Angel of Eden, who was sadly standing alone on the right side of the image like a piece of a column that someone had built there by mistake. A tentative detail of his profile, stern and scowling, was sketched sideways on the margin of the sheet.

- Why did you draw him so angry?

Michelangelo raised his head from his composition puzzle, not quite understanding what Antonio was talking about, until he saw his finger tapping over the profile.

- He's the Angel. - He said with a tone indicating that the implication was obvious. But the man sitting in front of him didn't seem to get the point. - He's the Angel who delivers the fucking wrath of God. He has to look angry!

- No he doesn't!

The painter straightened up in disbelief. What was with everyone that day? Why did every last person in that damn city had opinions on his work, all of a sudden?

- Oh sorry, should I make him all cheerful and smiling?

- Why would he be smiling?

- And what would he be?

Antonio took a second, and then aswered, deadly serious.

- Heartbroken.

- Why heartbroken?

- Because! - Crowley was not sure how to explain it, but he felt outraged at the idea that in all those century mankind had assumed the Angel was angry that day. - Because he was the Angel assigned to guard the garden of Eden, the first living bit of the creation! They left him there alone, to watch over the first humans, didn't give him istructions! Didn't tell him what to expect! And then he blinks and bam! they're damned, out of the garden, off you go struggling and suffering, you and all your kind for the rest of time!

Michelangelo was staring at him in utter surprise. He had known him for the kind of man who never loses his cool, and now here he was, losing it over the Book of Genesis.

- You didn't strike me as a man who would get heated over some biblical minutia.

Crowley leaned foreward, gripping his jug of wine so tightly that the painter could have sworn that he heard the glazed ceramic handle made a worrying crackling noise. The painter felt the instinctive urge to pull back on his chair.

- He was there, you see? Watching it happen, struggling to understand wether he had failed them or it was all part of God's blasting ineffable plan.

- He's the Angel of Eden! He would know the will of God!

- How would he know? - Crowley rebutted, now visibly enraged. - He's just an angel! And God doesn't speak to anyone. He's just an angel, he was there alone, scared to death... - he paused for a moment, like he had been struck by his own words, - scared to death because they were punishing the humans and making him deliver the sentence, but maybe they would punish him as well... for letting the Serpent get in.

He ended the sentence on a broken tone, and immediately after draw a small breath and gulped down his wine, all in one go.

Michelangelo wasn't sure what to make of it. Antonio didn't seem drunk, but that had been a wild rant. And yet, it could be interesting to draw an Angel of Eden that was not, for once, the usual severe messanger of death burning with God's divine rage, but a sad, sorrowful pal who had messed up his job. He thought of the merciful expression of monsignor Fell, earlier that day, when he had looked at the poor seminarist knowing that he had possibly gotten both of them into trouble by skipping the assembly.

Now he was starting to resent his composition, leaving that forlorn Angel out there, all on his own, while the others were grouped together under the Tree, as if they were having a pick nick. The humans and the tempter...

- The poor, naive humans... - he muttered, repeating the bishop's words.

- Well, - Crowley objected, apparently back to his usual composure, but still with an indefinible shadow on his brow, - they were naive only at the beginning. But after they became quite quickly aware of how the world runs.

- Well too bad, it has to be one or the other, I don't have two squares for the Eden scene.

But as he was saying that, a new image clicked in his mind, and he stared down at the piece of paper that he had been torturing for the past several hours, trying to solve his composition issue. The Tree was there, dead-center on the campata, dividing the space in two perfectly symmetrical spaces. The Serpent was already up there, in the branches: he could put the Angel there as well, and make the time flow from left to right, from happy but naive humans to desperate but aware ones, the two emissaries of Good and Evil standing in the middle as the two-faced needle on the scales of human destiny... no, not of Good and Evil, rather of Law and Chaos, of Safety and Freedom.

He raised his head with excitement and looked at the man in front of him. He was now sitting inhumanly still, and somehow Michelangelo could feel his eyes piercing through the smoked spectacles. He froze.

- Oh I know that glare. - Antonio said with a voice that he had never heard him before, a ghostly whisper, almost a hiss coming from another world. - That shine that sometimes burns in the human eyes, a spark from the forge of Creation itself...

Michelangelo felt an icey feeling gripping him from the inside, but he could not look away. He was hypnotised by invisible eyes, and even if the physical body of the man in black was still perfectly motionless, for a moment he believed he could see a different body, in a different shape, slowly swinging side to side with only his head fixed in the same spot, yellow pupils cutting through his soul like sharp knives through warm butter.

He wasn't sure how it had stopped. Next thing he knew, he was staring at Antonio who was looking at his drawings again, absorbed in his thought, with a sort of distant nostalgia in the curve of his mouth.

- I shall go. - Michelangelo said with a husky voice, as if he had been asleep for a long time. But he didn't get up.

- You shall. - Crowley repeated, looking back at him, this time with nothing strange happening. - That was a lot of inspiration to process for a human in just one day.

He launched his lanky body out of the chair with a movement that didn't seem possible, draped himself back in his heavy cloak, gave him a quick last look, and strode away, the light of the fireplace caught in his bright red hair. It was still raining outside, but there was a promise of snow in the air.

July 1510, Rome

The two corner doors of the antechamber opened at the exact same time and two hurrying figures rushed in and stopped just a split second away from running into each other.

For a moment they stood there, staring at each other, locked in place, the hem of the white robe and the flap of the black cloack swirling happily together like two puppies eager to meet again despite their owners.

- Good Lord!

Aziraphale gasped, finally stepping away from Crowley.

- Ah! What in Hell are you doing in here, dressed like that? - The demon snorted with a mocking grin, moving his gaze down Aziraphale's episcopal outfit and back up again, lingering on all the lacy bits with the most overtly suggestive motion he could perform. The short black capelet made a rather dashing contrast with the fair curls.

- I am on a diplomatic assignment. - The angel answered primly, ever so slightly blushing at the base of his neck, looking in turn at Crowley's tight fitting black attire under the cloak, all velvet and metalwork and shiny damasque. And then he lowered his voice and added, in a deliciously indignant tone, - What are you doing in here? We are on consecrated ground!

- Not quite yet. This is only an entryway and you should know damn well that nobody here is saint enough to make a single tile sacred outside the chapel.

Aziraphale tried to hoist an outraged expression, but it was hard to pretend that he didn't actually know damn well Crowley was right.

- Anyway, - the demon continued looking at the door on the other side of the entryway, - I was just passing by to take a look at the famous ceiling.

- It's not completed yet. - Aziraphale pointed out, immediately regretting it. He caught himself thinking that he didn't actually want the demon to leave. Not that he wanted his company, of course. But it would have been unpolite, with him being in the hosting party, so to speak, to send him away like that.

- I know, but I hear the last bit has made quite the impression around here.

- It has indeed! - The angel exclaimed, smiling and muffling his excited voice in a goofy way that made something twitch somewhere in the demon's chest. - The cardinals were utterly scandalised! I was going to take a look myself!

The angel moved to the door of the chapel and opened it cautiously, peeking inside.

- There's noone in there! - He whispered visibly thrilled, like the silliest conspirator who ever lived. Crowley stepped closer, thinking to himself that there was no end to the angel's childlike enjoyment of those little innocent transgressions. Not that he enjoied them too, of course. But it would be unworthy of a demon not to appreciate such evil deeds.

They both peeked out from behind the door. The chapel was empty, pleasantly crisp in contrast with the hot roman summer. A choir of cicadas was relentlessly chirping outside. The wooden structure had moved foreward since the last time Aziraphale had been there. A giant curtain was draped between the already completed campate and the ones still in progress.

Crowley managed to chart himself a path across the room, using the spare planks left on the ground as safe spots, holding his arms out to keep his balance, jumping from one board to the next and taking only a couple of quick steps on the floor when the distance was too great. Aziraphale was observing his movements from the corner of his eye and thought the demon looked like one of those large water birds that you could see flying by the river during winter, so big and yet so light and graceful.

The new part of the ceiling was hidden by the curtain. Without saying a word, they both moved to the ladder on the side of the wooden structure and climbed almost all the way up to the top. A strange expectant silence had fallen between them, and neither of the two wanted to break it. They knew exactly what they were about to see, but for some reason they were both pretending that they didn't, and the higher they climbed, the more they were steering their thoughts away from a certain shared memory that now, all of a sudden, was becoming inexplicably significant. A moment that had always been there, tucked away in their minds, but now seemed too bright to look at, too hot to touch, too heavy to handle.

They finally reached the main platform, the last large surface before the precarious scaffolding that brought the painter in reach of the ceiling, all still cluttered with buckets and rags and dried out palettes.

They stood by each other, breathing in the pungent smell of the paint, and with a synchronized movement looked up.

There it was. There they were. Their first meeting on Earth, as Michelangelo had envisioned it, channeling what the angel and the demon, unbeknownst to each other, had unintentionally lead him to imagine. He had turned the Original Sin into a backdrop, Adam and Eve into little more than extras on scene, leaving the center stage to them.

There it was. Their very first meeting as they, a recalcitrant demon who didn't mean to do anything properly bad and a doubtful angel who couldn't figure out what God wanted him to do. They were emerging from the Tree, the Wily Old Serpent stretching his beautiful androginous torso to the left, no man nor woman but both, passing Eve a fruit; the Angel of the Eastern Gate floating next to him, holding his arm out to the right, a disheartened look on his face as he used his sword not so much to threaten the humans as to direct them toward their earthly new existence.

- Look at you! - The angel smiled, - You're...

But the words died on his lips and he couldn't finish the sentence. Something heavy and mournful was tied to that part of his memory, like an iron anchor holding it under the surface of his conscience.

Aziraphale focused on the affresco, trying to distract himself with shapes and contours and brushstrokes... he felt a sudden burst of heat burning the skin of his face as he was studying the Serpent's coils spiraling up the Tree, and was startled when the demon spoke.

- He did make you sad.

The angel examined his supposed representation.

- I was sad.

- Yes, I remember.

- I felt so bad... so guilty...

Aziraphale felt Crowley's gaze settling on his face and lowered his eyes, feeling slightly overwhelmed.

- Guilty? Why? - The demon asked, with a hint of wonder in his voice.

The angels shrugged, twisting his hands and biting his lips with a tormented expression on his face.

- Because they were being punished, but I was the one who had failed them. - He looked up at the picture, but he was looking past it, rewatching a different scene. - And... and... - His eyes started stinging and watering, the effect of all that fresh paint no doubt, - And... had I spoken up for them...

He suddenly turned to look at Crowley, who was staring at him with his golden eyes wide open.

- They were only being curious... - the angel pleaded, and the effect of that paint was really terrible because an entire teardrop rolled down his cheek as he was speaking. - They only wanted to know things. And I let them be cast out and didn't say anything. - He took a short breath and his voice came out thin as a whisper - How will I be forgiven?

Crowley stood there without breathing, transfixed. His brain was struggling to process the angel's discourse, that pain for the humans, for their fault and their fall, and beyond that another pain, older, deeper, bleeding through his words like ink through thin paper. But the pain on the surface was easier to grasp and the other one was tangled in too many frightful thoughts, so the demon pretended that he had only caught the human part of that lament.

- I was the one who tempted them into that. - He said quietly after a moment of silence that could have lasted a second or a century. He felt like he was slightly suffocating. That paint smell truly was unbearable. It was even making his voice crack. - Do you still hate me?

A shocked expression darkened Aziraphale's face, and something behind his blue eyes seemed to crumble. There had to be a cloud hiding the sun, right in that moment, because up there under the vault the air became suddenly darker and colder.

- I never hated you. - He murmured. And then, with a wounded tone, - How could you think that?

The cloud moved away.

- It was my fault.

- I don't think it was.

They stood in silence again, and their confusion was so deep that a moment later none of them was able to tell anymore who had said "It was my fault" and who had replied "I don't think it was".

- We should get down, this smell is making me hazy. - Said the angel, sniffling.

- Yeah, this was enough church attending for me.

- Would you like... - Aziraphale paused, suddenly interested in a dented tin bucket who was draining all his attention, - Would you like to have lunch? I know a place.

Crowley opened his mouth and closed it again without making any sound, then opened it again and let out a couple of stumbling syllables before finally managing: - Well, I don't suppose that would hurt.

They exchanged a hesitant look and turned their eyes up at the two towering figures in the Garden of Eden one last time.

Michelangelo had given them two identical faces, the identical hair color, a shade that had been mixed somewhere in between a pale blonde and a bright red, and had put them up there, looking in opposite way but close to each other, almost hugging - the right arm of the angel almost around the serpent's waist, the right arm of the serpent almost around the angel's neck - as if they were twins, or lovers, or rather the two heads of the same chimerical creature. Two halves of the same being.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens fanfiction #go fanfic #fanfic draft #good omens fic #through the ages #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens in Rome #bishop Aziraphale #canon according to Furfur's guide

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positivelyholland · 2 years

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Pleeease write more maverick x daughter!! it’s so cute🥹🥺 or possibly rooster x sister!!!!! loved the maverick one you wrote!

pair: maverick x daughter!reader // rooster x sister!reader

type: fluff

warnings: none but let me know if i missed any

summary: your dad and your brother have a surprise for you, which is always nerve wracking considering how chaotic the two are (sorry i'm the actual worst at summaries)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had always wanted to join the navy since the moment you understood what it was. With your dad being who he is, you basically grew up in airplane hangers and naval bases.

Although it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows growing up as a military kid. It did get super rough for a while in your teenage years when you were constantly moving to new places, but your dad eventually decided to enroll you in online school so you weren't constantly being called the "new kid" everywhere you went.

Lucky for you, there were two people who were always there for you.

Your dad, and Bradley Bradshaw.

Maverick had always been close with his wingman's son, but after the news of Goose's passing, he took his role as godfather very seriously.

Although he could never replace goose by any means, he did basically become that kid's father, and he raised him as his own son, which practically made the two of you siblings.

People would always ask you if you found Bradley attractive or if you had a crush on him, but you two were nothing more than siblings and the bestest of friends. He's only a year and a half older than you, but he still calls you his "baby sister."

But now let's go back to the point of you "always wanting to join the navy."

Your dad was hesitant at first when you told him about your dreams for the future, but he honestly should've seen it coming with how involved your life was with it.

Your original plan was to be a fighter pilot, just like your dad. But then one day when you found out your dad had barely made it home to you after something went wrong in training that day, you were unsure. And when you found out that your brother was planning on being a fighter pilot too, you ultimately decided that you'd stay on the ground side of things.

You went into the communications side of things, while rooster went into the field of being a fighter pilot, just like he had planned.

As far as the whole "pulling his papers and setting his career back 4 years" incident, you had nothing to do with it, and because Bradley (or "Rooster" now), knew this, your guys' relationship stayed strong through the whole thing even after he cut off ties with your father.

But once you got the news of them rekindling their relationship, you were ecstatic. I mean, your family could finally be whole again. It did take some time for the two to be able to get their relationship back to what it was, but with your help it was accomplished.

You were sitting on the counter at your brothers house, laughing and having an overall great time when you heard your phone ring. With a groan, you checked to see who the call was coming from, and saw that it was none other than Pete Mitchell himself.

"Hello?" you said, putting the phone to your ear.

"Hello my darling daughter! Rooster wouldn't happen to be with you would he?" he replied.

"Oh I see, you only called me in hopes you could talk to my brother" you teased him, rolling your eyes.

"As much as I love you, dear... yes" his voice had an equal amount of playfulness in it.

"He has his own phone you know" giving your old man a hard time gives you so much joy, so you take any opprotunity to do so, including this time.

"Yah Yah I know now are you gonna hand the phone to him or not" he said while laughing.

You rolled your eyes and handed the phone to Bradley, who didn't need much of an explanation since your phone had been on speaker the whole time.

The two men talked for a total of 2 minutes, before Rooster grabbed his keys and signaled for you to put your shoes on.

"Where are we going" you tried mouthing to him, but he just shook his head in response. You laughed and put your shoes on to leave with a very hesitant look on your face. I mean, you can never guess whats gonna happen when these two drag you somewhere unknown.

Rooster eventually ended the conversation between him and your dad, and handed you your phone back.

Throughout the drive, you tried to guess where you were headed, but you were not familiar with the area you guys were driving in, so that made doing so quite difficult.

At one point, when you were stopped at a red light, Rooster blindfolded you which made you even more confused.

Even less aware of your surroundings now, you eventually felt the car come to a stop, and then you heard roosters seatbelt unbuckle and his car door shut. You tried to unbuckle your own seatbelt, but it was quite the task considering you couldn't see anything.

After a few short seconds of struggling, you heard your car door open and felt someone do it for you. You would've panicked when this person picked you up, but you could recognize Roosters scent anywhere, so you felt safe in your brothers arms.

He carried you for a short while before setting you down somewhere and taking off your blindfold.

And when you finally realized what was going on, you couldn't help but smile and thank your lucky star for your family.

"We both decided that we'd get you a new car since your old one is barely street legal" Rooster joked after a few seconds of silence.

"And since we really appreciate everything you've been doing for both of us lately, we decided that we wanna pay you back for it" your dad added on.

You didn't say anything in response as you were too caught up in their kindness, so instead you just pulled the two into a tight embrace.

As the three of you looked around the car dealership and were eventually able to find the perfect car, you felt so grateful for these two men being in your life.

#maverick x daughter!reader #pete “maverick” mitchell #pete mitchell x daughter!reader #rooster x sister!reader #bradley bradshaw fic #top gun maverick #bradley rooster bradshaw #positively holland #tgm fic #pete maverick mitchell #x daughter!reader #x sister!reader

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twigg96 · 1 year

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Ok so since you did dethklok, I was thinking, hear me out- rockso, magnus and dick nubbler with a pregnant s/o?

Yesssssssss

@incrediblejuniper I love this so much!!!! All the babies 💕💕💕💕

Rockzo did not believe the news when he first heard it. No. Seriously. He nearly took Toki’s head off in a drug fueled rage when he congratulated him. Some would call it denial. But Rockzo knew it as fear. His partner even suggested a paternity test to ease his fears of it not being his. But that just made him all the more anxious. If it did turn out to be his. Then that meant real commitment and that was just NOT something Rockzo did. He tried his damnedest to try and convince his partner that he didn’t have anything to do with the kid. He tried to convince them it was emasculate conception and they just magically got pregnant after doing so many drugs they were chosen by a higher power to get clean… (that didn’t work especially because they already were clean when they got pregnant). Next he tried to blame them for cheating. Which brought into question the paternity test again so he quickly dropped the subject. However no matter how hard he tried to distance himself from the baby he always loved his partner. He never left their side and even attended a few doctors appointments (much to the other doctors dismay especially when he would scream things like “just give it some C-C-C-COCAINE baby!” Or “Damn baby! He’s going to do have to do WHAT to get the baby out?!”) Rockzo even came with his partner to the hospital when they first went into labor. And even though he wasn’t allowed in the birthing area, mostly due to his clown costume, he screamed his support from the waiting area. Once baby was born Rockzo was the first allowed to see his partner and their baby as per his partner’s request. Rockzo never felt so loved before in his life to be trusted in such a whole way as his partner trusted him. And although he knew the baby wasn’t his (it was) he would raise it as if it were.

Dick could be a real fucking asshole sometimes. When he received the text from his partner that just said “I think I’m pregnant…” he just wrote back. “Omg hope you feel better soon!” With a link to the local abortion clinic. But when his partner tried to call him after that. He blocked them. Dick didn’t do long term commitments. And babies were like 18 years of long term. So that was a hard pass for him. However… his partner was extraordinarily persistent. They followed him to work after knowing all the routes he’d take. They’d wait on the sidewalk to talk to him. Only to have him cross the Highway to get to the other side. They contacted him on every social media platform and through every friend they had begging to just talk to the man. It wasn’t until his partner was rushed to the hospital in month 8 that he spoke to them again. He was their emergency contact and after they had collapsed at the supermarket and placed on bed rest they needed him by their side. Knubbler went straight to work. He surprised his (rightfully so) fuming ex by silently taking charge. He made all the food. Cleaned the house. Made tea just like how they liked it. Snuck them snacks and craving food they had been craving the whole pregnancy. And when finally the silent game broke and they asked how he knew any of this, Dick confessed that he had kept tabs on them. He loved them more deeply than any ocean he could explode his eyeballs in. A month later their baby was born and Dick was proud to call himself a father.

Magnus and his S/O had been trying for a baby. They had been together 12 years and married for 6 before they ever decided that it was a good time for them. They had just moved into a house with 4 bedrooms. One was turned into an office for Magnus at the moment but his partner had a feeling they would have to move it into the study in a few years. Magnus’ S/O surprised him with the news after he had returned home from work one afternoon. They made a snack and brought out some “milk for him to drink.” It was in a baby bottle and around the top was tied a little tag that read “for Daddy”. Magnus had never been so happy. He started to sob, pulling his partner in carefully as if they were made of glass he held them tight and whispered that he would never let go of what was precious to him again. Magnus was the perfect gentleman durning his partner’s pregnancy. He did his best to help out as best he could around the house. He did tons of research on home remedies for morning sickness and pregnancy symptoms to help ease the pain for his love. He massaged their body, and made love to them whenever they needed him to and wanted to know he still loved him even when their body was changing. He rubbed oil on their tummy and kissed sweet nothings into their skin. Magnus went to every single appointment. Never missing one. The doctors said it was a miracle but Magnus simply said it was love. His partner never had a single issue during labor or delivery of their first. The baby was the best behaved baby the nurses had ever seen. The ease of it all was why Mags and his S/O tried for their second so quickly.

#thank you for the ask!#thank you so much for the ask #thank you sooooo much #please follow them #please check them out #metalocalypse #babyklok #dethklok #magnus hammersmith #dr rockso #dick knubbler #these daddies are too much lol

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tenebrius-excellium · 1 year

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Hot Take: Avatar The Way Of Water will receive mixed reviews and while it’s beautiful, it won’t work for European audiences.

1. Someone I watched the movie with described it as a “documentary” of the water world and that’s exactly what it is. It’s beautiful. Focus lies on aesthetic descriptions and playful visual experiences. It’s not plot-driven, but that’s not a bad thing! It’s just... different. What someone might call a “good” filler movie.

2. James Cameron’s themes remain highly traditional. While I support that to a degree, it puts them in danger of being outdated. I don’t know, I’ll let myself be surprised by audience reactions. To me, the values feel dusty and out of touch with the current mindsets and priorities of Western society. Cameron wrote a script that was borderline old 13 years ago. A lot has happened in the world since then.

3. The Na’vi culture, so carefully built during the first movie, was eliminated, full of plot holes, and made to fit narrative whims. The kids were loud and careless in the forest. Barely any Na’vi was spoken. The Omaticaya’s way of life was erased and Jake not held accountable for destroying the Metkayina’s too.

4. Stereotypes of outcast existences, culture appropriation and white savior elements were applied again as if it was white man’s earth. What the heck. I don’t think the Maori culture inspiration and the use of sign language were truly done justice. They were creative plot devices. Wonderful to be explored, but not treated as if they were to be taken seriously as parts of real people’s identities in reality. Jake got to play at *another* way of life without risk to himself. He switches tribes and identities at his leisure, adopting their manners as he pleases without realizing the harm he is doing to them. He plows through their hospitality and their resources like a bulldozer. What.

5. The new characters are super cool, the old ones neglected and ooc. Arcs happen at random. They are picked up, then dropped again. The movie is more about existing than about action, which strangely, isn’t a bad thing to me. It’s simply a series of events led mostly by the kids’ wondrous, innocent discoveries. What the events mean and where they lead, remains shrouded in mystery. Somehow, it’s still immensely enjoyable to watch it all unfold!

6. The main point being that this movie is still as painfully White American as can be and that is terrible to watch in the year 2022. As a European, I don’t identify with Jake’s motivations. Like, at all. I doubt any other culture will. This movie pushes American “black vs. white, right vs. wrong” dualistic thinking to a brink where it can exclusively be understood by White Americans with military background. That’s a far too narrow target audience, if you ask me. I felt pretty alienated. To me, Jake was a horrible parent. Addressing fathers as Sir and expecting your kids to give you the respect of a soldier would count as child abuse over here. We are not familiar with military culture, nor do we want to be. Neytiri “Missus Sully” is not meant to be a military wife and she is clearly uncomfortable with it. Also, Europe is not divided in “white” and “different”. We define ourselves (mostly, hopefully - please don’t argue with me on this) by our nationality and whether we are part of the European Union, not by skin color. Avatar The Way Of Water is stuck up, misses the modern world’s heartbeat and is, by all means, not relatable to European multinational coexistence (not to even speak of global cultural diversity). In addition, the movie’s narrative structure is repetitive and not even that well thought out at times.

7. So what do we make of it? This movie is clearly weaker than its predecessor, yet somehow almost equally enjoyable. It relies heavily on the visuals and the atmosphere, while missing out hard on zeitgeist and cultural respect. I like every character’s story, although it rarely seems to lead places. Perhaps it doesn’t have to. Avatar The Way Of Water is a flawed, dreamy, idealistic, aesthetic nature vibe. The reality is much more complex. It was slightly underwhelming, but in a James Cameron kind of way, so it lowkey was to be expected and I’d 7/10 watch it again :)

#avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 analysis #analysis #wherethekiteflies #avatar the way of water analysis #avatar 2 spoilers #avatar the way of water spoilers

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aura-acolyte · 5 months

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Since @normal-paldean-student did a Roleswap AU with Renee in Mare's place I wrote up a roleswap AU with Mare in Renee's place.

First big change: she doesn’t have Aura. Which is a problem because it means she can’t punch her way out of situations anymore. That means she has to get a lot better at battling. She also can’t heal. Which is fine cause her injuries go away when she goes to the next universe but does mean she can’t be as reckless about throwing herself into danger as she usually is.

Second big change: She starts with Crystal cause that’s the first game with a female player character option which also means she starts in New Bark Town instead of Goldenrod.

So, I’m gonna go through each gen individually and only cover mainline games because otherwise we’d be here all day and also I don’t have a lot of experience with a lot of the side-games. She went through those but I won’t talk about them. Also she still looks like herself just wearing different clothes. Also, also I’ll be calling this version Shifter Mare and the og version Auraverse Mare.

So, Crystal. Different town, same backstory except there’s no Norman to save them. Her mom encourages her to go on her Journey to get as far away from her father as possible. She doesn’t want to leave her mom but eventually agrees, promising to come back when she’s strong enough to face him. Her starter is a Cyndaquil.

She and Silver start off on the wrong foot when she just freaking decks him. This is, like, the only time engaging in physical violence actually works because it’s just really funny to me. What a first impression. They do eventually bond over having shitty dads and wanting to become stronger, though, and Silver’s probably one of her best friends of all time.

She takes beating the Pokemon League much more seriously than Auraverse Mare because that’s how she gets stronger. Eventually she beats Lance and kicks her dad’s ass (well, it’s more like she scares him away cause he has no Pokemon) then decides “Hey, that was fun, what if I did it again” and does the Kanto circuit before climbing Mt. Silver and defeating Red, something Auraverse Mare could never do. Climbing Mt. Silver really did a number on her though so as soon as the battle’s over she passes out…

…And wakes up in the back of a moving van. We’re in Ruby now. She’s a lot more hostile towards Norman in this timeline than even Auraverse Mare, partially because she just got force into a new timeline with zero warning and partially because, in her experience, dads are bad all the time. She, um, isn’t particularly nice to Professor Birch either but manages to hold it together long enough to get a Pokemon and Brendan (who she has a comparatively less hostile relationship with than Auraverse Mare because they don’t have the “We’re cousins so we gotta fight” attitude) seems happy enough.

She does have a bit of a crisis though because unlike Auraverse Mare, who put all her self-worth into being a hero, Shifter Mare put all her self-worth into being strong (Silver-type behavior, though she actually recognizes from the start that love and friendship works better than just using the strongest Pokemon like a tool) and without her Pokemon she’s not strong and if she’s not strong then what is she?

When she gets to Petalburg she is ecstatic at the idea of getting to battle Norman, who for his part is very confused as to why his daughter is suddenly acting hostile towards him and also doesn’t seem to know who he is, and when he sets the “you ned 4 gym badges to face me” condition she goes “Yeah, sure, I’ll do that, it’ll be more satisfying to beat you into the ground when I’m stronger anyways.” She also scares the shit out of Wally with how intense she is but they do eventually become friends and she’s quite fond of the kid.

She also bonds with Archie a bit. Not as much as Auraverse Mare but he likes her spunk and she likes his spirit. They beat Team Magma, she beats the Pokemon League, and gets to stick around long enough to take on the Battle Tower before being pulled away again.

Sapphire goes pretty similar. Shifter Mare’s less hostile towards Norman and Birch this time cause she’s figured out by now that maybe they’re not all that bad. She feels a little betrayed by Archie being the bad guy this time around even though she knows it’s an alternate universe so it’s not the same Archie. Bing bang boom, Emerald time.

At this point Shifter Mare’s growing pretty sick of this. Some mysterious unseen force refuses to let her get strong. Every time she reaches her peak she gets reset. But when she screams to the sky nothing answers so she’s forced to just go along with it.

It’s also worth noting at this point that Shifter Mare isn’t shy about the fact that she’s been traveling across universes. She’ll reference past adventures, mention things she should have no way of knowing about, and just say “I’m from an alternate universe.” This is really confusing for everyone else, who frequently question her sanity and also the fact that she finishes their sentences. Half the time she doesn’t even bother letting people finish their exposition, just cutting them off with “Yeah, I know already.”

Anyways, she’s mildly pleased to see that Emerald is more different than Ruby and Sapphire. Wallace being Champ instead of certified sopping wet cat Steven Stone is refreshing and the Battle Frontier is much more fun than the Battle Tower. But, unfortunately, it can’t last. Kanto’s next and Shifter Mare’s starting to think maybe she just wasn’t meant to be strong, maybe she was supposed to be weak and powerless and friendless forever. But if she’s supposed to be weak and powerless what else is there for her.

Anyway, Fire Red. Shifter Mare feels weird about this one because she knows this one and she knows it’s not supposed to be her story. To her, this is Red’s story. Blue is Red’s rival. Pallet Town is Red’s home. She’s not supposed to be here.

She does find a new purpose, though. If this is the past (technically) maybe she can find Silver and save him from his father. It wouldn’t be her Silver but it would be a Silver. And, hey, she kind of owed it to him to try.

So she goes through the Kanto League, unnerved the whole way through, but no matter how hard she searched she couldn’t find Silver. Even after she became Champion and had all of the League’s resources at her disposal she couldn’t find him. Not that she got much time to search because she got sucked into another world not long after becoming Champ.

Take two, Leaf Green. For the first time and last time, Mare goes off-script. No Gym Challenge, only searching for Silver. And it has disastrous consequences. Though Mare is making herself quite the nuisance to them in her search for Silver, because she’s not following the main plot route, Team Rocket achieve all their goals and thus gain total domination over the Kanto region, just their first step on their way to conquering the world. And it was all for nothing too because she never finds Silver.

Next world! Diamond! Uh, Mare’s not doing too hot. She was just indirectly responsible for so much suffering. And she can’t talk to anybody about it because nobody would know what she was talking about. Plus she keeps losing her support network. So she makes a resolution to never allow anything like that to happen again. From now on, if anybody was suffering it was her duty to put a stop to it. That was the only way she would ever be worth anything and the only way to atone for what she’d done. There’s the Savior Complex. Took a while but we got there.

Aside from that, the new universe was pretty nice. She thought Barry was a bit annoying and she didn’t like the dress she had to wear (were there no clothing shops in Sinnoh?) but it was nice. Though she couldn’t help but be on edge, expecting something bad to happen at any moment. And she wasn’t wrong to be. Team Galactic was on the scene and they were far more threatening than any foe she’d faced in the past. The amount of suffering they caused and the Pokemon they abused infuriated Mare, who tore through their ranks with her Pokemon, completing the gym challenge along the way so she could use HMs. Why were there so many HMs in this universe?

Pearl was pretty much the same story but Platinum was different. Whereas in the previous two adventures she’d basically been speedrunning, here she slowed down a bit. This was her third run and she was kinda tired. This meant that she actually listened when Cyrus explained his motivations and it also meant that she saw how much pain he was in. Before she’d seen him as just a big bad guy she needed to beat but he had clearly suffered in the past. She tried to reason with him several times throughout her adventure but it ultimately didn’t work and he tried to go through with the plan anyways. It still taught her a valuable lesson, though: bad guys are people too. Oh, also people seemed a lot more willing to consider her alternate dimension story than usual. Well, Cynthia and Cyrus were, at least. Doing research into Sinnoh history makes you a bit more open to the possibility.

Heart Gold is next. It wasn’t really that traumatizing compared to the others but it was weird being back in Johto. It was all so familiar but also very, very different. Her father was nowhere in sight, there’s this guy called Ethan hanging around, and there was a Battle Frontier apparently (that was exciting). Most notable, though, was this universe had a Silver and they started off on a really weird note because the moment Mare saw him she broke down crying and hugged him as tight as she could while apologizing so much. Which was weird for him because this wasn’t her Silver and he had absolutely no idea who she was.

Other than that it and Soul Silver were pretty standard affairs. Mare tried her best to put Silver on the right path but never quite had the same friendship with him as she had with her Silver. She may have cried… a lot. She actually freaked Whitney out by crying after winning the Gym Battle because that’s what she was supposed to do, not the Challenger.

After that nice little breather, we’re back on the heavy stuff. Black is next. She has a… complex relationship with N. She can see where he’s coming from and understands not wanting to see Pokemon suffer but she also thinks he’s a hypocrite for claiming to want to set Pokemon free yet also using them in battle. Even if the Pokemon do agree to it he’s still having them do the work instead of defending his ideals himself. She also decks him at least once.

In White she treats N with a lot more sympathy, knowing his whole situation and relating to it. The first thing she does upon meeting this version of him is give him a hug and promise to get him out of this which he doesn’t really understand. She actually manages to form a genuine friendship with him because she’s the first person besides his sisters to treat him with legit compassion and not see him solely as a tool, a king, or an enemy.

Black 2 and White 2 are weird. She was used to alternate versions of her friends but it was weird seeing Cheren and Bianca 2 years older than her while she hadn’t aged a day. It was also kind of depressing because they’d moved on to new things while she was still doing the same thing because she had too. Everyone else could move forward, she was stuck in the same cycle forever.

In other news, Hugh worried her significantly because he reminded her of Silver just with not terrible parents. His only desire was to get stronger to fight Team Plasma and it seemed like he was willing to go to any length to do it. His heart was in the right place but his head wasn’t. She made sure to keep a close eye on him and try her best to set make sure he doesn’t do something stupid that he’ll regret. Also I’m taking creative liberty and Ghetsis is killed by Black/White Kyurem in this version because I think it’s poetic that he’s killed by the beast he created and was foolish enough to think he could control, thus falling victim to his own hubris.

Pokemon X. She’s kinda surprised that she has this large friend group now. Usually she’s got one or two rivals and that’s it. It’s kind of nice cause it’s something she’s never really had before. Mega Evolution gives her quite the shock as well as the Fairy Type being a thing now. She thinks it’s all very cool. Name a more iconic duo than Mare and a Mega Lucario.

She pegs Lysandre as a bad guy immediately because she’s heard his rhetoric before from other villains and tries to alert somebody too it but everyone kind of dismisses her except for her friends. So with no adults to rely on (as usual, tbh) they’re forced to deal with this themselves. Also Mare hates Xerosic with a passion for what he did to Emma. Pokemon Y is more or less the same with the exception that she tries (and fails) to get into the Geosenge Base. Oh, also Mare is terrible at fashion. Like, just the worst.

ORAS. Oh I’ve been excited to get here. The first Region Mare ever shifted too. But unlike with Heart Gold and Soul Silver’s Johto, the Hoenn of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire is very different from the one she knew. It was still familiar but at every turn she ran into something different. The people looked different, the cities looked different. A lot of the major events were still the same and yet they were so different. It was almost disorienting, going through the same events and yet not being able to predict what would happen next. But hey, at least she finally got her iconic ribbon.

She also falls in love for the first time. Shifter Mare finally gets to meet Zinnia and cannot handle the flirting. In Omega Ruby, Zinnia takes off before she has time to actually sort through these feelings but in Alpha Sapphire they actually manage to start a relationship… which doesn’t last long because Mare shifts again. Womp womp.

Sun is another entry in the “Your parent is terrible, I am going to be your friend now.” saga. As soon as Mare figures out what’s going on with Lillie and Gladion and their mom (she has her suspicions from the start that they’ve got something going on with their parent but she doesn’t know it’s Lusamine specifically until the reveal) she makes it her mission to ensure their safety. She also feels for Guzma and Team Skull and while at first she dismisses them as kind of silly by the end she actually has a lot of respect for them.

The Post-Game, though, that’s where things get real interesting. Because Anabel is a faller, making her the first person Mare’s ever met who has also gone through interdimensional travel. And she has no idea she even did it because her memory is gone. Mare’s not entirely sure how to respond to the whole thing and neither are Looker, Nanu, and Anabel who certainly hadn’t been expecting to meet a girl who had traveled to several dimensions. The whole thing gets very messy very fast.

Also Mare meets Red and Blue and is really unsure about what to think of the fact that they’re in their 30s and she’s still a teenager.

When Moon rolls around she befriends Lillie immediately, though this is still Mare so her aggressive and boisterous personality can be a bit much for her at times. Gladion is resistant but does eventually form a begrudging friendship, guess you can’t win over every Silver-coded rival. She also treats Team Skull like people instead of jokes and tries her best to get others to do the same.

I’ll be up front, I don’t know what happens in Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon outside of the fact that Lusamine is kind of sort of a good guy but Mare’s suspicious of her the whole time. I do know what happens in the Rainbow Rocket Post Game, though. Remember that one world Mare accidentally screwed over by going off script? Well that Giovanni has discovered interdimensional travel. So, uh, this one’s kind of on Mare. Anyways, she beats him, he taunts her about how she never found Silver, time to move on.

Sword and Shield… is pretty by the book, honestly. Mare is extremely frustrated that Leon refuses to let her get involved in any way until the very end but other than that nothing remarkable happens. I didn’t play the DLC so I don’t know what happened there so… moving on.

Finally, Scarlet and Violet. Because putting Mare in a school is a good idea. She gets in trouble basically immediately but is let off the hook cause its her first day and Director Clavell’s nice like that. In regards to her friends, she bonds with Nemona over their shared love of battling, she deduces that Penny is Cassiopeia but doesn’t say anything (she also does not deduce that totally radical and regular student Clive is actually Director Clavell because I think that’s hilarious), and the moment she meets Arven she’s like “Yeah, I think we should punch your parents in the face.”

She’s actually kind of on edge the whole time, actually, because the whole thing is so low level. No world ending catastrophes, no large scale criminal organizations. The stakes weren’t necessarily low, the life of Arven’s Mabosstiff was very much in danger, but it wasn’t the same “everyone’s gonna die” stakes she was used to. She was almost glad when they had to face off against AI Turo/Sada and destroy a dangerous time machine.

And, uh, that’s it. She’s kind of in the same position as Renee, waiting for the cycle to repeat once again.

#ooc #ooc post

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demonichikikomori · 1 year

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DEVIL STOP YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH WITH THE WAY YOU TALK SDFGHKLZVLPYGVB

Your replies are like poetry, I love that so much 😔💞 matches the beautiful way you have to write your fics 💗

I wanted to ask your opinion~ how do you think Ruggie would be about making a family with his darling?

Would he worry about how much money it costs to raise a baby? I think that would be a important matter that will make him think twice about having kids 🤔

But also there's... his ✨rut✨ which would make him not think about anything but put a baby inside his darling.

I can't make up my mind about how would Ruggie be about this, I wanted to know your thoughts ✨

—🌻

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! You’re so sweet haha. I actually took poetry classes when I was younger. I just think it’s fun to try and use some of the skills, even though I think I suck! <3 I’ll have to try and find some of the old stuff I wrote, but that might be a talk with my parents. After all that was 4-6 years ago.

Now, this is the part where I insert a bunch of emojis representing the familiar shine of anime glasses. It’s to show you how massive my brain is when it comes to this question. I think I’ve answered it before or something in a similar fashion? But I don’t mind doing it again since this feels more direct than before!

Ruggie wants to be the dad he never got to have. Ruggie wants to have the nuclear family all the other kids had. He loves his Grammy, he truly does! He loves and appreciates everything she has ever done for him and will continue to do, but, it’s not the same. Having to explain why he’s the only kid on the block without parents can seriously be hard when you’re a kid. And he doesn’t want his future children to feel that way! Of course of things happen, he won’t mind being a single father, but he still wants to be better than his dad.

Ruggie is no stranger to flings and grinding when he isn’t supposed to, but he’s aware of the consequences that come with children. He wants to finish school first, and he wants to find a super good job. Raising a child is expensive! In this world, the poor cannot afford such a luxury! So he does his best to study so he can get good recommendations for after school… He wants something reliable!

Ah the naughty part of the question.

So, with Ruggie being a beastman, he cannot fight the hardwiring in his brain that commands him to mount something. He’s spent his ruts alone plenty of times, but being with a partner changes things drastically.

A toy is no longer enough. His hand is no longer enough. His imagination is no longer enough. Ruggie might become feral the longer he’s alone with his thoughts and the scent of his partner lingering around his room. Spam calling until they answer, trying to convince them to come over and visit. He won’t bite, he just needs a little assistance. Be a doll and come over?

If they choose to come over? It’s snowballing downhill from there. Ruggie has surprisingly good stamina since he works so much and he’s used to the lack of breaks. From doggy, to a mating press, moving to letting his partner ride. He just needs to make sure they’re full of him. He wants to be a dad. Nothing else matters. Just let him do what nature commands.

Once his rut is over he’s overridden with anxiety, especially if his partner is able to reproduce. He’s apologetic and is willing to bend over backwards as an apology. Don’t spoil him anymore! What if things got out of hand?! Neither of you can afford to have little hyenas running around until he has a fancy suit and tie job! Next time…

Deny all of his calls! No matter how pushy he is!

#ask the devil #sunflower.devil #ruggie bucchi propaganda

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sauntering-down · 2 years

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twenty years ago, i wrote a Star Wars fic.

two years ago, i opened the document for the first time since junior high and liveblogged the reread for Mary.

tonight... you get to experience the experience. savor it. firefox crashed twice while i was compiling this post, so cursed is the tale...

someday, Mary, i will tell you about the cringiest thing i've ever written. it's completely ripped off of a Boba Fett novel released right after AotC, there are song lyrics repurposed as a poem, iirc there's a literal Plot Device that gets completely forgotten about until i realized i was at the end of the story… anyway, i just have to read it myself first, because i literally haven't opened that document in fifteen years. it's that bad. i printed it out and brought it to my grandparents' cabin upstate and made everyone in my family read it. i physically cannot let you read the entire thing, but when i finally get up the courage, i'll liveblog it for you

it's so bad, Mary. it's so bad. the ship in the story is literally the Slave I with (i think???) a different name. i distinctly remember looking up the actual type of ship in one of my brother's many Star Wars guides

it's FANTASTIC and just the vague memory is so awful i seriously haven't touched it since i was like, 13

i don't remember very much of the plot except the kid trying to get his ship back, because i'm pretty sure that's what happened in the Boba Fett novel lmao

there's supposed to be something about a mysterious crystal, but after like one chapter i forgot about it until remembering at the very end and just having this kid find it in a ship. like… imagine opening your glove compartment one afternoon and finding the fucking Hope Diamond in there. that's pretty much what happens

the last true island of cringe on my hard drive must be conquered

should've bought myself a neck brace in case i cringe so hard my head retracts into my torso

me: alright before i even open the document, i should tell you it's called 'Cast My Soul to the Sea'. IF i recall correctly, it's a bastardized lyric from a Loreena McKennitt song Mary: This is going to be AMAZING

i'm not sure i ever heard this song. i took the title and the """"poem"""" in the story from the titles of a totally different Star Wars story i found online. i didn't read it, btw, i just liked the title

okay. gonna open the document. if i never reply again it's because god smote me

thank god it's not written in Comic Sans

okay. okay. up until this instant i didn't remember the protagonist's name but thought it started with a J… turns out his name is Zachary McCoy. a very Star Wars name there.

anywho, it starts off with a line from this """""""""poem"""""""", and Zach's sister Evelyn asking if that's all he's written. he claims "seventh form" is difficult, whatever that is.

their father is apparently coming home soon. he is, OF COURSE, a bounty hunter.

we timeskip to Tuesday when Dad gets home… okay, this family consists of Zachary, his two little sisters Evelyn and Clarissa, mom Rachel, and dad… Breon. BREON. i mean, at least i was TRYING to make something a little more Star Warsy, but it stands out badly compared to the much more normal names. i should've gone big or gone home. why not Zaqureehy???

…i just realized this entire story is SEVEN PAGES LONG. what the actual fuck, 13-year-old Alex???? you useless asshole.

moving on… Zach notices his father seems sad, but doesn't worry about it much

Zach overhears his parents talking quietly and conveniently catches a few super relevant words! we get our first mention of the 'Caman's Crystal'

so Breon needs a hand because he has to track a bounty on Yavin 4, but he also has to get help from "the couriers on Dell", whatever that means. apparently he needs to do these things at the same time… so he asks his kid. how old is this kid? fuck if i know.

and there ends chapter one. it was about 400 words. i'm deeply ashamed of myself

me: chapter two… Zach sees a cool ship, goes "oh neat, whose is that?" and apparently it's HIS now. this kid is like, twelve. Mary: I mean…expensive flex, Breon, but okay

he notes it's almost like the Slave I, although HOW he knows that i have no fucking idea, except it's smaller. i'm calling it the Slave II now.

it's actually called the Starlight 7, but.. nah

Zach finds it a little strange at first but ofc he's an INSTANT EXPERT at piloting and gets the hang of it instantly

Breon apparently just vanished into the ether, because Zach's in hyperspace now. he reads a book to pass the time… which apparently has detailed descriptions of both Yavin 4 AND Kamino. can you tell i was not very familiar with anything Star Wars besides the movies?

oh wait, apparently Breon's still there? okay then

Zach tells himself not to worry because his father's flying and Breon is, of course, Jango Fett with the serial number filed off there's a clone joke there

…what follows is a total rip-off of the AotC scene where Obi-Wan chases Jango and Boba through the asteroids near Geonosis, complete with some rando Jedi following Breon and Zach. except they escape by shooting a wall with a torpedo and then hiding so it looks like they crashed into the wall Rando Jedi is clearly dumb as shit, because he falls for it. why is he there? idfk

i hate myself for making my parents read this. they must've been so disappointed. i bet that was the exact moment they realized why i was kicked out of honors classes after 7th grade.

chapter three! within the space of 57 words, they land on Yavin 4, spend the night in a hotel (do they even HAVE those on Y4????), Breon tells his son where to go, and then Zach takes off on his own.

i WANT to say Breon randomly gets killed at some point off-screen, but i honestly don't remember. too bad i can't keep it that way submitting to the mortifying ordeal of knowing myself here

mmkay so he heads to Dell, which has 11 moons and apparently extremely strong gravity that pulls the ship in, though there's no actual mention of the effects this would have on a human hanging out there or anything. Zach can't find a landing pad and instead lands the ship in a small field near a city.

Zach says 'people' and means 'humans'. kid's fucking xenophobic.

i'm now really glad this is short because it's excruciating.

he inexplicably gets stopped by two bounty hunters who are looking for a kid around his age LOL he namedrops his dad to scare them off

Zach then wanders around like "okay Breon McCoy is well known and i'm his son, so nobody can use me as bounty, unless i AM a bounty" and my brain just short-circuited a little

me: chapter four! he has no idea where these 'couriers' who are supposed to be awaiting him are, or even WHO they are Mary: nice going, Breon, you didn't give your kid any information me: Breon didn't do a great job prepping him for this, but that's what 57 words gets you, i guess

so he goes back to the Slave II and OH NOES IT'S GONE!!!!!!

a Dellian girl named Amandia is hanging around. that seems suspicious as fuck, but she tells Zach that a guy named Buz might've taken the ship and it's probably on Dell 2.

me: what the FUCK is going on in this paragraph Mary: I'M SO CONFUSED??????? me: who's Perrier???

like. okay. so i guess Breon told Zach to find the couriers so they could help him find the crystal… and maybe Perrier is the bounty he's trying to find…?

usually i can puzzle out my own writing, but this one is… really something

fuck it, moving on. 'couriers' are Dellians light enough to… fly from the surface of Dell to the moons without a ship?? this makes NO sense but i'm pretty sure it was ripped off that Boba Fett novel, so i'm sure there was a better explanation somewhere

at this point i'm just going to assume Breon's trying to bump off his son for insurance money or something and he's in cahoots with these guys. Amandia helped steal the ship, obviously.

okay, chapter five! Zach and Amandia are on a cliff, waiting for the gravity to shift. the explanation has something to do with the moons. idk.

so they step off the cliff and fall a bit and then just… start gliding through space, rising and falling with the gravity changes. again, 100% stolen from that novel. they eventually land on the moon (no idea how they breathed this entire time), but lol it's the wrong moon

yeah, Amandia's suspicious as fuck.

they do, however, make it to the correct moon. apparently "daylight never comes" there, so i'm going to assume it's tidally locked and they're just on the dark side. this inexplicably gives Zach an idea for his """"""""""""""""""""""""poem"""""""""""""""""""""

they walk for a while until they see another Dellian about Amandia's age, whatever that is. his name is… Noah. they need to use his speeder to get across the moon because Buz has his ship. how do you know that, Amandia… Zach isn't NEARLY suspicious enough for this line of work. she's so obviously working with this Buz dude, kiddo.

chapter six!

Zach. honey. she flies around on weird gravity tides. this girl doesn't give a FUCK about a super-fast speeder; she's trying to get you killed or sold into slavery or something.

so they take off in Noah's speeder, which is extremely fast. Zach's cool with this because he likes upgrading his own speeders, asks if this thing goes any faster, which ofc it does.

oh hey! we finally find out Zach lives on Naboo.

Noah's been to Kamino, apparently. i don't know how i missed the very clear fact that it's an extremely isolated planet and gets very very very few visitors

they see the Slave II! but suddenly it takes off and heads for another moon!!!!! SUSPENSO.

literally two pages left. i can't believe i packed so much into seven pages and yet there's absolutely no detail, action, exposition, character development, or even much in the way of PLOT here.

side note, i just remembered a part in my dream where R2-D2 had kidnapped a person and kept them buried in a shallow grave… but they were still alive and i saw him dig them up. their entire head had been skinned and they were like, weakly crying out for help. it was extremely creepy and fucked up. then C-3PO showed up and R2 quickly buried them again before 3PO noticed. so i guess i subconsciously think R2-D2 is some kind of sadistic serial killer or something? idk, man. let's go back to the story.

so Noah decides they can follow the Slave II in his own father's ship, hilariously called the 'Superfly'. he says he's eleven years old, too… so Amandia's just a kid also? maybe Buz is her dad and he's getting her started in the crime business early. wait wait no! i was wrong! it's ZACH who's eleven. Noah is thirteen and he's annoyed he can't have his own ship

they're so busy chatting they don't notice a "small fighter" approaching until it fires at them

and then there are like… five fighters? who fight each other? and one of them is Noah's brother… idk

anyway, they manage to land on Dell 8 after that, though the ship is slightly damaged from the hit they took

Mary: Is this entire 7 page story literally just jumping from moon to moon? me: PRETTY MUCH

they see Zach's ship but can't follow in their own, so Noah grabs a conveniently located speeder and they're off again!

chapter eight… they switch so Zach can drive… they catch up to the Slave II and Buz, whoever he is, gets out… they run past him onto the ship and he takes the speeder and leaves. that's. um. anticlimactic doesn't seem to cover it.

they hear something rattling around in the ship, but WHATEVER, Zach stops on the other moon and Noah leaves and then… well… you need to witness this for yourself.

i wasn't joking about the glove compartment thing. it's like the only thing from this story i really remembered lmfao also check OUT that amazing writing there.

Mary: Space glove compartments are definitely a thing, they have a whole thing with them in the Jedi Prince books, so you're just in a long line of wonderful ship glove compartment writers Mary: that being said, WHY WOULD HE PUT THE SUPER RARE AND VALUABLE CRYSTAL IN A GLOVE COMPARTMENT

chapter nine, Zach goes to a "government building" on Yavin 4 and hands over the crystal to some random official, who asks what he's doing here

look, i don't even know what this crystal is, what it does, why it's so valuable and everyone wants it… i just don't know.

me: Zach says he's looking for his father Mary: And here's where we find out…that his father is DEAD (I assume)

and then… AND THEN…

THE END. except for the """"""""""""""""""""""poem"""""""""""""""""" which is like five lines, doesn't rhyme, makes no sense, and hopefully got an F.

Mary: BRILLIANT ENDING, 5 STARS

what was the crystal for? why did Buz steal Zach's ship, and why did he give it up so easily? does Zach ever go home? does the rest of his family even know Breon died? BEATS ME MAN

it's amazing. it's so bad. half the cringe comes from the inescapable knowledge that i made my family members read this. thank god i don't remember how they reacted

i bet Breon faked his death maybe he gave Zach the ship in hopes his secret lover Buz would bump him off in the process of stealing it. then they'd take the crystal, pawn it, and go off to start a new life together. Buz's daughter Amandia helps out and comes to live with them. Noah never gets his own ship. the end.

#a true masterpiece #i will never be over that ending lmfao #writing

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hopenight · 1 year

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I posted 2,779 times in 2022

7 posts created (0%)

2,772 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@unpretty

@biblionerd07

@humanityinahandbag

@innytoes

@gentrychild

I tagged 25 of my posts in 2022

#critical role - 9 posts

#exandria calamity - 7 posts

#exu: calamity - 7 posts

#exandria unlimited - 6 posts

#exandria unlimited calamity - 5 posts

#zerxus - 4 posts

#exu calamity - 2 posts

#raven queen - 2 posts

#cleric - 2 posts

#the raven queen - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 86 characters

#her warlock patron is the champion of ravens because i have thoughts about vax as well

My Top Posts in 2022:

ZERXUS AND DELILAH BRIARWOOD ARE EXTREMELY SIMILAR CHARACTERS

Except one frames one of them as the hero because we follow his story and the other as a villain because she’s opposition to the party.

Seriously just imagine it.

Picture Zerxus, who went down a similar path to Delilah, looking at his husband and saying “I broke the world for us.”

Picture Delilah, who couldn’t bring Sylas back, saying, “When you kneel to one god, you kneel to them all.”

Maybe I’m just going crazy here, but I think I’m on to something.

Change my mind.

30 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

So I’m rewatching EXU Calamity episode 2

And I’m referring back to this post of mine.

HE LITERALLY SAID “HATES THIS PLACE”

100% ZERXUS GETS THOSE POWERS FROM HIS WEDDING VOWS AND Y’ALL CAN FIGHT ME.

46 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

So apparently I’m just going to share all my feral ass thoughts on the Raven Queen during EXU: Calamity

Out of all the deities that the world of Exandria has presented to us, I think that Raven Queen fascinates me the most.

To be fair though, this is true with most pantheons. I’ve had a standing fascination with gods whose domain includes death since I was small. I’m sure witch tumblr or something can explain that affinity and fascination that I’ve had with it. (Nevermind my own existential death anxiety, which was sure fun to discover was a thing for me after my 18 year old dog died in my arms, but I digress).

I wrote this on a reblog to another post about the Raven Queen that I can’t find now because my tagging system is non-existent, but I think what I find the most fascinating is that she was mortal.

The Raven Queen was a girl once. She had parents that she had a relationship with. Though whether or not it was a good one, I cannot say. I like to think that it was, but I see so many people go through so much trauma because of their parents I’d like for the god of fate and death to have seen her parents teach her kindness and compassion.

Maybe she learned how to sew or knit or weave at her mother’s knee. Maybe her father would carry her on his shoulders. Maybe they fought when she was a teenager, as all parents are wont to do with their kids. Maybe she snuck out to dance in the forest with friends and get tipsy on wine.

Maybe she ran through feels and got sunburn on her shoulders, pale skin peeling red from enough time under the light. Or maybe she would sneak out to watch the stars and dream of “what if”. Maybe she had crushes and was told her laugh was “too obnoxious”. Was she told to be more ladylike as a child? Or was she too serious and shy, shunned by the other children for being awkward?

Did she have an innate talent for magic? Or did she study and learn until the power sparked up at her fingertips?

She had desire to learn based on what see in EXU. She was a mage and a pretty damn good one. She was a teacher or at least it sounds like she was one based on what Patia reveals. The Raven Queen as a teacher makes a lot of sense and again is endlessly fascinating.

She had dreams, perhaps, before her ascension. Did she want a family? Did she want to focus on her career? Did she want to travel the world or the planes before her eyes turned to godhood? Before the God of Death did something that made her decide that he had to go?

Now based on what we have, she ascended because the previous god of Death took, what’s been described as, a tyrannical stance over it. And I would certainly love to know what that means. She also was a follower of this God again, love to know what that means, especially in the Age of “gods who?” Arcanum.

Does she miss being mortal, I wonder?

I mean think about her situation. She described her situation with the other Prime Deities as “precarious” to Vax. The other gods took away what was to be her domain, death, and instead made her the goddess of the instance of death, of transition. They destroyed her rites (which, you know, valid) and either her name was removed as part of ritual (Ehhhh? Vecna still has his name) or the gods did like some sort of mega modify memory.

Were her parents still alive, I wonder? How do you handle that? Knowing your child’s face and name one moment and the next...nothing? Only the knowledge that your daughter has become a god. Did she have siblings? Did they have to mourn losing their sister?

How lonely do you think she must be? Only she remembers her name? By the time the main campaigns of Critical Role have rolled around, anyone who remembered her as a mortal and loved her is long dead.

Do you think that her followers understand that sort of loneliness? Feared by most mortals, disliked by the gods, alone in her realm as she watches the strings of fate. Does she remember learning how to weave at her mother’s knee? How to craft with those delicate strings as her mother carded a hand through her hair and called her by her name?

Does she still wish that? To hear someone say her name? Or would hearing it really make everything too real?

Maybe that’s why she sees out people who know loneliness: Vax’ildan, Purvan Suul, even Liev’tel had an air that read to me that she knew loneliness. Hell, I created a character for an Exandria campaign who is a cleric of the Raven Queen that had a lonely childhood.

In her champions and her clerics, does she want to find someone who understands? She is a god, but she was mortal. Maybe she had to sacrifice that part of herself to become a god, but did she sacrifice all of it?

Or maybe, in her lonely existence, she still feels like she is both.

Maybe, in her heart, she wishes that someone would call her by her name again.

Just one last time.

93 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

You guys remember that character concept on TikTok where a paladin got his power from his wedding vows?

Because I know Zerxus says he gets his power from the people of Avalir. But he doesn't seem to love Avalir?

But based on context clues, you know who seemwd to love the city? His husband. Zerxus says he was supposed to be the first knight.

What if he has let this whole narrative spring up around him? What if Zerxus got his power from Evandrin and his love for him? And Evandrin loved Avalir.

So Zerxus is the first knight and lets this myth spring up around him? What if its his love for his husband that gives him his divine magic?

What if its that love that leads him to ruin?

175 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I SCREAMED ABOUT THIS ON TWITTER, BUT LET ME DO IT HERE.

VESPIN CHOLRAS BECOMES THE LEFT HAND OF ASMODEUS.

WHO BECOMES THE RIGHT?!

*stares at the sad boy paladin*

297 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #what i'm getting from this is that i should post more actual stuff #instead of being a goblin that hides underneath my covers at night and reblogs my latest hyperfixation #yes the sexy captain hook is making a resurgence #but apparently dungeons and dragons and exu calamity had me in my feels

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cadmusarchives · 2 years

Text

"A Beautiful Escape"

-Martinez, Ailish Nicole

As I was scrolling through Facebook, I came across a post that says, “People who write so beautifully are those who treat their minds as a terrible place”. That reminds me how I treat writing now; an escape from all the unpleasant thoughts and unimaginable ideas that pop into my mind. I find it as an effective way to express every emotion locked within me. My mother never failed to tell me every little story of my childhood and according to her, whenever I got upset as a little kid, I would go pick up a pen or even a coloring material and write scribbles on a white wall, which of course brought her so much stress. However, I obviously do not have any memory of that experience but what I do remember was seriously learning back when I was 4 years old and commonly, like any other kid at that age, my parents first started to teach me how to write my name. The image of my father losing all the blood on his face is still vivid in my mind because as I was doing it, I started writing where most people end their sentences. I first wrote the letter “A” on the right side of the paper, followed by “I” and the rest of the letters on my name towards the left side. He thought I had some sort of condition and that I wasn’t normal but fortunately, I overcame that situation. Ever since then, I became obsessed with writing to the point that my parents were able to see “Ailish” on every corner of our house and the only explanation I gave them was because it made me feel more relaxed. As I grew older, I remained the same. I loved writing for every glimpse of peace it gave me whenever I expressed my deepest thoughts through it. At grade school, when poetry was introduced to me, I appreciated it just as much because I found a certain beauty with the thought of playing with words and rhymes and the freedom of expression. Indeed, there are some things that never change because as high school came, while most of my classmates found writing stressful, I enjoyed it just like I always did. Writing is a power that I was able to achieve as up until now, all my unsaid thoughts, my pains and the things that are too fragile for my mouth to speak, are expressed through the tip of my pen pointed against a thin white paper.

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asmossimp · 2 years

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Hi, saw you had requests open. I was wondering if you could do something with Diavolo, sfw or nsfw you can pick whichever you prefer. Female or gender neutral reader. Have a nice day!

Our young master has grown up..

ahh finally done thank you For this anon I couldn't stop being embarrassed at this but anyway enjoy (///Σ///)

pronouns : i did a fem body reader but i kept the they/them if i make a mistake please tell me 😅

warnings : no spell check , smut , breeding kink Ehm dom diavolo diavolo being a simp , fLuff too!

please dont interact if your not mature enough (╯︵╰,)

Diavolo sfw

we all canon that diavolo has been raised by barbatos and we know that he is a a strict butler 🙅 poor Diavolo he didnt have enough times for relationships as most teen- EHEM- century old children did so he was pretty inexperienced in that area of expertise

BUT that didn't mean he was great at formal relations or friend ships with lucifer!- or so- that was until you came you were perfect for the exchange program

you were nice- and you even helped him out with barbatos no wonder you were the master of the 7 brothers but you wouldn't mind another one- hm no he didn't say anything barbatos-

but he slowly started to find himself falling inlove with you truly your smile your laugh even the way you wrote was mesmerizing to this man but he was a prince and couldn't get married since the rule of no demons marrying humans...

oh there was a rule like that?-

well now there isnt huh how strange.

truly strange

but you know the way he asked you out to be his(not marrying ) is truly an unforgettable day you were at the ball and he took a bouquet of roses (cake ones if your allergic if your allergic to that faux dont ruin the moment 😠) when you said yes he swear he had never felt such pressure taken off his back haha many tears were shed from barbatos proud father

As his s/o expect gifts from him daily . made him something gift - came over , gift , got a 30 on a test? gift

like seriously if your not burdened by the gifts you must be greedy jk- i mean-

if you tell him your burdened by it he will try to lessen it to 12 per day- no? too much ok 5-

what 0?!

you must be kidding mc-

well truly that was one hell of a fight ( pun intended ) i might make a fic of this fight

as king he will spoil you even if he cant be next to you in the moment he will always try to make time for you this sweet bby-

he even plans on marrying you one day he swears- just let him plan a 7 day engagment party first-

i mean those wedding dresses/ suit looked to good on you mc what did you expect?!!

Diavolo Nsfw

this man is huge we all canon this please i know atleast 30 writers said this but seriously do you not see this man??!!

he will leave you not walking straight for a week if he takes a less gentle approach- a gentle aproach would be a 3 day period of not walking straight-

i know a lot of writers canon him dom but- this cute bby is dom if you challenge him .

he'd be so gentle with you since- your so fragile hes seen you firsthand like - he can pick you up with one hand- and i mean diavolos big- really big-and your small real small-

like this poor boy is nervous since its probably his first time with a human i mean what if he hurts you??

but after doing it a few times with you he gets real comfortable a bit more dirty talk coming from him ...

like he'd be having you sit on his lap while he'd slowly whisper how tight you are sitting on him

honestly we all know he has stamina that we would all kill to have during p.e class.. but you know for sure that he has a breeding kink like the though of having a family and children that look like you and you stomach filled with his seed -

it drives his mind to dark places that you would be fucked if you found out what happens in those places. literally.

omg done- ak- 4 more to go c : alrighty i hope you enjoyed this im sorry its my first time writing nsfw haha- 😅 anyway requests are always open 👁

#obey me #obey me x mc #obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me headcanons #obey me diavolo #obey me diavolo x mc #obey me diavolo headcanons #obey me diavolo x reader #obey me smut #obey me fluff #obey me f!mc #f!mc #diavolo smut

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 3 years

Text

I decided to watch the Walker pilot so you don’t have to. #1

I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I’m doing this and the more I put it off the less I’ll want to do this. So. Let’s start.

The fist thing we see is Jared Padalecki, em Walker, driving. He’s vaguely smiling and there’s the sun behind him. He seems happy. He’s driving a truck, for some reason my mind goes to Twilight. I’d rather watch that. At least there are vampires (not dressed like clowns) there. Anyway. Walker is meeting someone. He’s meeting his wife! “Look at you!” she says. The camera makes us look at him. He looks like this

I am unsure whether we’re supposed to see this as sexy or cool. It looks frankly ridiculous. I don’t know if I’m just not American enough to appreciate the aesthetic of this. But I didn’t go through 15 seasons of Americana-in-British-Columbia for nothing. If a character appeared like this on Supernatural, it wouldn’t be presented seriously. It would be played for a chuckle or in a light-hearted way at least. Not even Dean Winchester would find this hot.

The Padaleckis tell something to each other. Apparently he needs to go home with the kids and his parents because it’s game night. My mind immediately goes to Game Night the episode and I am sad now. But Walker lifts my mood in its own weird way. He doesn’t know the rules because every time she tells him the rules, he blacks out. I would make a fun quip about this, but the truth is that I relate to him a lot right now because I blacked out during the entire scene. I’m not sure what they said other than the game thing because I wrote it here. I already forgot the rest.

Anyway. What we’re supposed to get from this scene that they’re Very In Love (see that soft warm light?), and that he’s anxious because he’s not great at being a father because he’s shit at games apparently, but his wife is like ~don’t worry so much~ because she’s a kind, understanding wife. He tells her to be safe, because the Texan countryside is dangerous or something. She needs to stay on a route he approved for some reason. Is she traveling with supersoldier serum in her car? Is Hydra going to murder her? [cue the Marvel snipers shooting me to death because they don’t want Marvel to be associated to this]

Later, everyone is having fun playing fake monopoly, but Walker (whose mannerism is just Jared, he’s not even trying) is apparently too stupid to understand a game for kids. Plot twist, this is anti-cop propaganda because it says cops are dumb.

“Et tu Brute” Jared says when the kids point out he broke a rule so they get an extra turn. I thought I was safe from hearing Jared speak Latin! I thought I was safe! I am never safe!

Emily (Gen) suddenly texts him “SOS. Answer” which is OMINOUS! Oh my god! Aren’t you feeling the tension. The rest of the family keeps playing fake monopoly. Someone throws dice. Are we supposed to go “oh! The dice are ~symbolic because someone’s playing dice with her life” or have I been watching too much good tv.

She is running somewhere in the countryside, wearing a white shirt (is this the cowboy lady equivalent of the Wife Nightgown?). She says something is not right. He’s worried. Then he hears gunshot and her scream. He does the Alarmed Jared face, presses lips together and does a Upset Jared face.

Then he goes out, tries to call her again, and again, does a Jared Upset Sniff--

Oh! We actually see her! She’s alive, but she’s been shot in the stomach. Her white shirt is definitely the cowboy lady equivalent of the Wife Nightgown! Ah the blood coming from the stomach! How terrible! Her phone is ringing but she cannot reach it. She is definitely alive right now, though. She’s breathing heavily because of the wound, which is breathing, which is the opposite of being dead.

He decides that she’s dead, and lets out the already infamous manly scream of anguish.

It would be sad if it wasn’t that literally one second ago we saw her wounded but alive. Her turning out alive in the season finale or so will shock everyone. Nobody will have seen it coming. Who wrote this? They should have just shown the ringing phone and her bloody hand/side, making the audience assume she was dead, instead of showing her breathing. Now the audience is gonna assume she didn’t actually die, and wonder “why didn’t he call someone or went looking for her” but apparently Jared’s characters have forgotten that, like, ambulances are a thing. Jared’s manly screams of anguish are more important than common sense.

I’m not going to say anything about the manly scream of anguish. I’m not going to say anything about the manly scream of anguish. I’m n

We’re just 4 minutes in, guys. Why am I doing this?

Eleven months later, says the screen.

It’s night, outside a house. The son is waiting for him. The daughter doesn’t think he’s coming. On the porch there are two men, one is his brother and one is apparently his former partner, now new boss. He’s dressed like you’d expect a normal person to be dressed in a casual Texan night, hat and tie and all. If you are law enforcement in Texas and don’t wear a cowboy hat at any moment, you will be executed. That’s what the death penalty in Texas is for.

Somebody arrives, but to the kids’ disappointment is some dude whose function is to tell us the men’s names. The brother is Liam, the cop dude I forgot.

Walker is being sad on the back of his truck and drinking alcohol, which is the only way television can express a man having trauma. Holy shit - he reminisces of his wife like this is some emotional Lord of the Rings scene in a place where Elves live except this is not the Lord of the Rings and is just ridiculous, look

She’s seen running towards the gazebo, then she turns

This is exactly shot like the scene where Arwen has a vision of her son. Flowy hair and all. I cannot take this seriously.

He smiles sadly. Then a cop car arrives.

Mexican Lady Cop(TM), whose function in the story is to be a Mexican Lady Cop(TM) asks for his licence since he’s drinking alcohol in a public place.

“You ask so nicely” drunk Walker says. Ew. “Yeah, they train the girls special” Oh! Can you see? She is the Feminist Icon who Takes No Shit from the Dude! I’m so excited. I am slowly losing the will to live.

She drives him home on the police car. His legs don’t fit. At least this is realistic.

He does exposition in the car, including “I needed to visit a ghost instead”. There-there was no need to say it. What’s the demographic they’re aiming for? Five year olds? Do they have to spell everything out loud?

“It’s been a while since I had an actual conversation” he says, which supposedly explains why he’s making awkward exposition, but it’s just bad writing. At least they acknowledge it’s bad writing.

She figures he’s law enforcement coming back from an undercover mission from some drunken ramble he makes. This is worse than the Sherlock phone cable port thing.

She says she just got promoted from state trooper, ehe she will work with him wink wink nudge nudge. Is she going to be a cop-buddy-character slash love interest except when they’re almost about to realize they’re into each other, his wife comes back and draa~ama? I can already see it.

He goes home, makes some Jared grunts, and falls asleep on the couch.

Next morning, he goes out and jogs to where he left the truck. He puts on a cowboy hat which is supposed to be an artistic shot.

I’m slowly dying. He makes some Jared Deep Breaths, at least this made me laugh.

Wait, he’s now wearing a black hat. He’s in mourning, see? What.

He drives to his father’s ranch. His father is Super Not Impressed. It’s awkward. They took about horses. Mitch Pileggi is thinking that at least the other show was more exciting and there was Jensen Ackles in it.

He gets into his parents’ house and the dogs run to him, he does the Jared Dog Chuckle. He hugs his mom. He hugs his son - “August, my boy!” he says, like a normal person his age says.

He hugs his brother and they joke-wrestle and he says “I’m still the big brother” and did I mention I’m dying inside. I just can tell this is SUPPOSED to be reminiscent of Dean and Sam’s first meeting at Stanford in the pilot except Jared is the big brother now. Ew.

We learn that the brother is a DA and gay. All pilots suffer from Forced Exposition Syndrome but it’s like this isn’t even trying.

He goes to work and hugs (very manly hug of course) his friend-now-boss, who is called James. James asks him if he’s good and he’s like yeah I’m good, which our I’m Fine Lie Moment #1. Some things never change.

Enter the case of the week - a cop offered roadside assistance but he was assaulted. We’re already starting with a “Oh No Poor Cop :( Someone Doesn’t Like Cops And Gets Violent” plot. Yay.

Ta-da! Mexican Lady Cop appears, cowboy hat and all. James says she’s Walker’s new partner. My heart cries while Walker says “figured you’d be a guy” and she replies “so did my mom”. The feminism is so strong :’) She’s such a strong female character :’) I’m so happy :’)

Then Walker makes such a quintessential Jared thing with his mouth that I need to stop this here and take a break.

It’s been 13 minutes. So much still to go. I’m bored. Why am I doing this.

#cw's jared: legit texan #marghe watches walker for some darned reason

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jodibodie · 3 years

Text

I Have Some Feelings

To start let me just emphasize how much I love and adore this show and always will. This was my covid show. Both of my kids loved “Lucifer” and always said I should watch so at the start of covid I binged it and when I say binged, I mean all 4 seasons in a few days and have rewatched so many times I’ve lost count. I think it is timeless, engrossing, original and all around amazing. The writing and the cast were all excellent. The writing was smart and consistently strong and that is so rare. Funny, sad, poignant, it hit all the notes with very few plot holes or missteps. There is not one episode in the entire series that was not engaging. Even if I didn’t like an episode, it was still well done. What a rarity.

The cast is scary good. Completely underrated. Just all phenomenally talented. I don’t remember the last time a cast was this strong. From the core group to both reoccurring and guest stars, the cast was just fantastic.

Tom Ellis, no words. The man deserves to choose whatever he wants to do acting wise. He should have people breaking down his door. He can truly do it all and do it all well. He took a character that if portrayed by a lesser actor could have come off as a complete asshole and made him one of the most sympathetic and loveable characters in recent history. Ellis made a crime solving devil, a promiscuous man-child that occasionally breaks into song and the evidence room into a beloved character that has become an icon.

Lauren German, WOW. She is just so damn good. She can break your heart one second and have you laughing the next. She makes Chloe real, and people don’t realize how hard that is. Chloe is smart, kind, tough and gorgeous but she’s also an insecure dork. She’s us and German just brings it.

DB Woodside I’ve loved since “Buffy”. He is a phenomenal actor and who knew he could bring the laughs so well? His expressions were classic. Clueless angel indeed. Amenadiel could have been very one-dimensional but because of Woodside’s talent he became fully fleshed out and full bodied.

I have no doubt Lesley-Ann Brandt has a huge career in front of her. She took a character that very well could have been hated, a demon and made her into one of the most human characters on the show. Kudos to her for taking a tough role and making it her own.

Kevin Alejandro is another actor I’ve loved for a long time. He also took a character who if we’re going to be honest here did so many unlikeable things that he should have been truly despised but because of Kevin’s portrayal he was beloved. Great actor and a terrific director.

Rachael Harris IMO is the downlow MVP. She was literally the rock and again, with a lesser actress the role could have been a throwaway. The normal human, the sounding board but Harris imbued her with so much more. Her spit takes, sarcasm and her obvious compassion was what made Dr. Linda an unforgettable character. Once again just perfect casting.

Aimee Garcia was a great addition. She made Ella a fan fav and put so much heart, joy and sincerity into Ella never once did you doubt that she would prevail no matter what was thrown at her. Garcia was just fantastic, and I want her skin care regime.

Scarlett Estevez pulled off the one thing I thought almost impossible. She took the role of a young child and made it so I didn’t want to cringe. She portrayed Trixie so beautifully from day one that she was a true pleasure to watch. Even though Trixie was super precocious Estevez never made her obnoxious. I loved Trixie and I have never said that about any child character in an adult show. She was wonderful and has an amazing career in front of her.

That said, I’ve got some feelings now that I’ve seen the finale and have had some time to digest it all. I love that Chloe and Lucifer had eternity and I agree that they had to be separated for Chloe’s lifetime. Didn’t like it but it’s the logical path. She’s human, he’s not. The ageing thing alone necessitated them not being together long term on earth and that’s just to start the list. They had to had to be apart for the short term to get their eternity but the duality of Lucifer's ending and Amenadiel's didn't sit right. Amenadiel as God got to have it all. His calling, his family etc. while Lucifer had to give up everything. I also don’t buy the “If he came up from hell, he could never leave them again” defense. I call bullshit. Amenadiel managed, plus, missing out on the day to day is a huge sacrifice and by Lucifer missing out on the day-to-day Rory could still have had the hatred she needed to drive the story. Popping in for birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc., the big stuff does not a father make. Not being there for skinned knees, first heartbreaks, and all the little things a daughter needs her dad for can build up tons of resentment. Boom, absentee father, just like his dad was. That provides all the millennial angel angst you could ask for. I have a daughter; it doesn’t take much.

The Trixie issue was huge for me. Can Chloe see her in Heaven? Will she be able to travel to Heaven and visit Trixie, Penelope, Dan, her father? Chloe hesitated leaving Heaven in 5x16 because she couldn’t bear saying good-bye to her dad again. It seems as if Chloe sacrificed everything for Rory including Trixie. I want to preface this by saying. I liked Rory and loved the actress. I didn’t however like how it was as if she were their only child. When Lucifer spoke of family Trixie was not mentioned. Their family day, the same thing. She didn’t need to be there, I get that the explanation regarding Rory would have been way too much to get into but just a mention of her, how awesome it would have been to share this day with her would have worked. It seemed as if Lucifer went from, “I would do anything to protect that little Urchin” to “Trixie who”. Trixie was a character that we watched grow up and she meant something to us. I hate to say this, but the writers did Trixie and the viewers dirty in this regard.

This show was built around a few premises. Free will, honesty, redemption, sacrifice and family, both blood and made. The ending completely negated almost all of these. Chloe and their entire family were made into the one thing Lucifer abhorred the most which are liars. Their daughter was brought up surrounded by lies. What did they tell Trixie? The poor kid just lost her dad, and she was pissed at Lucifer when he went back to hell the first time. Did she grow up hating him because as far as she knew Lucifer left her mom again without saying good-bye and this time it was even worse because Chloe was pregnant. I get that the actress who plays Trixie had limited availability but seriously. A quick good-bye.

“Hey Urchin, you won’t understand why for a long time, but I have to leave. You know I never lie so I can’t explain why but know that I love you and your mom and one day I hope you can forgive me.”

A 30 second scene would have worked.

As all the characters learned throughout the series, omission of the truth is just a form of lying and there are always repercussions i.e., Chloe and Father Kinley, Dan shooting Lucifer, Maze finding out about Lilith and even Ella not being told. As far as free will, both Chloe and Lucifer had their free will taken from them in the end. By Rory forcing them to abide by her wishes, their free will was forfeited. It was a huge manipulation on Rory’s part and considering how much Lucifer hated manipulations it just didn’t sit right.

Parents making huge sacrifices I get. Chloe and Lucifer sacrificed everything for their child. Unfortunately for me this sacrifice, the way it was written seemed contrived to pull out maximum and IMO unjustified angst. I love angst. Hell, this is my favorite show. I thrive on the angst. But as I wrote earlier, all the anger, angst and hatred towards Lucifer could have been achieved without having Lucifer completely out of the picture. I have two kids and my husband, and I have made huge life altering sacrifices for them as many parents do but being there for the day-to-day little things was what made the difference in their lives and cemented the close relationships we have with them.

“Yeah, dad you were great. Showing up for the fun stuff, always swooping in for the big finish to play the hero then ditching us when things got tough. When Grandma was dying where were you? Nice that you showed up for the funeral but the six months leading up to it…we needed you and once again you weren’t there. When T got sick, when Jen broke my heart, blah, blah, blah…”

Even the whole Chloe dying scenario. They could have written it that rage Rory traveled minutes before Lucifer got there. Have him pop in right after Rory comes back. There were so many ways to achieve the end game they wanted other than the way they went. It seemed contrived and as if they took the easy way out to get where they needed to go. The Rory rage that was the catalyst for her traveling back in time and Lucifer finding his calling could still have been accomplished without the whole Lucifer disappearing storyline.

Now that I’ve finished my diatribe there’s a couple of additional things I would like to say. Lucifer is and always will be one of my favorite shows of all time. There are not enough words to describe the comfort and enjoyment this show has brought me. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the producers, cast and crew. You truly created something special.

To the fandom. Please do not let a polarizing conclusion rip apart the fandom. The only other fandom I was a part of tore itself apart so badly that the FBI got involved. Hence why I waited for 15 years to dip my toe in again. Everyone invested in this show has the right to their feelings. Debate is fine, baiting and bullying are not. The Lucifer fandom like the show is very special. Without the fandom we wouldn’t have gotten any conclusion so don’t let opposing viewpoints tarnish what has been a magical journey.

#lucifer #season6 #spoilers #lucifer spoilers #lucifer season6 spoilers #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #trixie espinoza #rory morningstar #luciferseason6 #tom ellis #lauren german #db woodside #lesley-ann brandt #rachael harris #kevin alejandro #scarlett estevez #brianna hildebrand

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definitelynotsuzumi · 3 years

Text

Zapped to Another World

Genshin Impact x Fem!Reader

I wrote this in my spare time when I was working back in November and thought that I should share this ^-^

Depending on the comments/notes and if I have spare time, I may be updating this.

[Masterlist]

The rain poured down your umbrella. The clouds coloured the sky a dark grey as you ran for the bus. You sighed as you reached the traffic light. Yup, you were definitely not going to be able to catch it now.

School had ended for the year, which meant more free time for you and the new game you had recently gotten into. Genshin Impact.

You could not help but smile at the thought of it. With school out of the picture, you could finally focus on the game completely. There was so many things to do. Farming for artifacts, completing your daily commissions…

You sloshed your way over as the lights turned green. While you love that school is out, you honestly hated the wet weather that came with the winter break and the feeling of wet socks on your feet. After safely crossing the road, you winced as a white truck rushed by, soaking your clothes through as the giant puddle you have been trying to avoid poured onto your skirt and legs.

You let out a sigh as you quickly took shelter under a tree nearby to try and wring out the remaining water when it happened.

“Just my luck…”You muttered as you clumsily balanced your umbrella, “Can it get any worse?”

Just as those words left your lips, it happened. A white flash lit the sky for a brief second. But it was too late. Thousands of volts came cascading upon your body and everything turned white.

“This is your fault.” You heard a voice. It sounded like a young, sulky boy.

“How is this my fault? You’re the one who lashed out when I put down that +4 card down.”

“THAT AIN’T FAIR STILL! I WAS SO CLOSE TO WINNING AND YOU BLEW IT!”

“Uh…What’s going on?” You blinked as your vision settled. You sat in what looked like a library of sorts, with several shelves lining the walls and a long white and gold marble table in the centre of it all. A girl with long, platinum hair glared down at her male counterpart, who huffed in annoyance.

“How about you explain it to her, Artem.”

“Sorry, but I don’t speak to cheaters.”

“Oh for gods sake- fine. We apologize for uhm…Killing you. Truly, a thousand apologies. If only someone can control their temper for once in their life-“ The girl shot a dirty look at Artem.

“LIKE YOU ARE ONE TO TALK! SOLARIA, YOU SINGED MY EYEBROWS OVER KILLING YOU IN AMONG US!”

“Well excuse you! My anger was perfectly justified! You voted me out even when I told you the truth and that I was innocent!”

“DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO EMBROIDER AND GROOM THEM BACK TO NORMAL AGAIN?”

“Could you guys please stop fighting for 10 seconds?” You yelled over the noise. The girl and boy finally stopped, leaving you to rub at your ringing ears.

You sighed. Kids were always a handful back in your home. You had to take care of your cousins whenever your aunt was over, and it often resulted with your ears ringing and your head pounding.

“What’s done is done. I’m…well, dead and I seriously have no idea where I am.” You said, trying to stay composed.

“Well…In your human terms, this is kind of like the After Life.” The boy, Artem explained, sighing as he put down his Uno cards.

“Or well, it shouldn’t since…You were supposed to live for like, another 50 to 60 years. But someone messed it up.” The girl, Solaria, summoned a book from a shelf. You blinked as a weathered leather book with gilded, golden pages floated down onto the table.

“Shut up. I said that I was sorry, didn’t I?” Artem groaned.

“Sir Artem, are you losing your braincells? I was the one who apologized. You still owe the human an apology.” Solaria bit back icily.

With a wave of her hand, the pages of the book flipped and she studied it carefully for a minute before looking back up.

“Well, as a soul now, you have an option. You can go into Elysium or be reincarnated.” Solaria sighed as Artem huffed again.

“Huh. What do you know? Elysium sounds real good right about now-“You thought out loud as Artem’s eyes turned wide with fear.

“Please don’t go into Elysium!” Artem yelled. The books shook in the shelves as his voice echoed.

“Ow, inside voice please? Hasn’t your mother taught you better?” You winced in pain. It seems that immortals had a throat of steel, judging from the way they could shout infinitely.

“I’m really sorry, but if Dad finds out I brought in another human because I accidentally killed them…He’s going to banish me…To Earth…” Artem looked down onto the table.

He was unable to meet your eyes as you stared at him with bemusement.

“Yeah, as much as I hate to say it, please…Reconsider on our offer to reincarnate. He is on thin ice with Father and if he is banished, I’d have to take on his duties as well. I’m pretty exhausted with the workload as it is.” Solaria sighed.

“As long as it’s not Earth, I’m cool with it.” You looked up at the ceiling, which took your breath away. The entire solar system was on it. With it, was the familiar sphere of white, green and blue.

“Hm, that is easy enough. I could reincarnate you into my world.” Artem brightened up.

Solaria sighed with relief.

“And to make up for it, I could buff you up with a couple of blessings here and there-“

“Within reason.” Solaria cut in, with a sharp look at Artem.

“Psssh, as if it’s hard to make a Gnosis.” Artem had considerably relaxed after hearing your statement.

“Are you serious? Don’t you even know the situation down at Teyvat?!” Your eyes widened. Were they talking about what you were thinking of?

Artem rose to his feet, the ivory wings on his lower back flaring. His eyes gleamed gold as he stared down his sister.

“It’s my world. I do what I like with it. If you don’t like it, get a world of your own.”

“You only got your world because Mother took pity on you. Don’t act all big when you have killed so many humans.” Solaria hummed, rolling her eyes.

“I’ll only grant this human the bare minimum. Anything more, and I’ll let Father know of your deeds thus far, even if it means more work for me.” Solaria glared back. Her eyes gleamed silver as she did so. You felt a shiver run down your spine.

“That’s all that I’ll need then. Work on your blessings and gifts. I’ll work on mine.” Artem turned away from his sister. The siblings set to work, the atmosphere of ice cold professionalism now in the air.

Solaria rose from her place on the table. With a flick of a finger, the Uno cards vanished with a burst of gold sparkles. The leather book floated beside her as she constantly referred to its pages while flying around the room.

“Hmm…Not much of a combatant, I see. Polearms and swords will probably be hard for you. Perhaps…A catalyst?” She pulled out a bright blue book adorned in gold, with feathers sticking out.

Blowing off any dust from the beautiful book, she casually tossed it over her shoulder and onto you. You instinctively brought your arms up to protect your face but as the book hit your arms, it disappeared into a burst of gold.

“Huh?” You blinked as you saw the book reappear beside you, its pages flipping.

Solaria returned with a satchel and a bag of gold coins. Looking satisfied as she noticed the book beside you, she inserted the bag of coins into the satchel before sliding it over your shoulder. Solaria hummed to herself before smiling again.

Reaching behind her neck, Solaria detached a shimmering teardrop necklace before slipping it around yours.

“There’s nothing special about it, apart from it glowing. I thought it would be a nice touch.” Solaria winked at you.

Tilting your chin up, you froze with shock as she pressed her lips against yours.

“WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” You felt heat rush to your cheeks.

“Oh, please. Don’t be flustered. That was merely a blessing of mine. It will help you when you need to speak with the natives of the land.” Solaria coolly said as she wiped her mouth.

You were still reeling in shock. Your throat seemed to tighten as you coughed.

“..Thank you, for agreeing with us on our selfish request. To be forcibly stripped of our powers can be the worst pain and humiliation a god or goddess can bear.” Solaria murmured to you as she hurried to the end of the room, where she knelt and seemed to draw symbols in gold.

You held back your tongue. ‘What about me? I got zapped to death here.’ You thought to yourself.

“It is done. Please step into that summoning circle there.” Artem held a floating, golden cylinder in his hands. Solaria rose from her place on the floor, gesturing for you to come over.

It was a Gnosis! You were quick to obey as you hurried to Solaria’s side.

Stepping into the centre, you turned to face Artem and Solaria, who stood side by side. They flared their wings as you sensed an energy swirl around you.

“I, Artem, God of the Moon, grant you passage and dominion over my world, Teyvat. Do you accept, (Y/N) (L/N)?” Artem’s voice echoed in your ears.

“I accept.” As the words left your lips, the Gnosis within his hands flew into your chest. You gasped as it did so, a heat spreading rapidly across your chest.

“Be safe on your travels, (Y/N) (L/N).” Solaria flashed a warm smile as you coughed.

“Resigno!”

The gold summoning circle glowed bright blue and you found yourself falling through the blue skies.

You screeched ungracefully as you fell from the sky headfirst. The green grass was coming up way too fast.

‘Am I going to die again?’ You thought as you held out your arms to break your fall, only for a huge gust of wind to cushion your fall.

“Huh?” You blinked in surprise as a person clad in green floated beside you.

It was a young boy with 2 braids, which gleamed blue in the light. His eyes were a beautiful mix of green and blue.

‘Venti?’ You gaped as he grabbed your hands and guided you back onto the ground.

“Never thought I’d have an audience during my practice session. Are you okay?” Venti grinned at you.

“Never...Never better. Thank you...”You gave a thumbs up as you got air back into your lungs again.

His deft fingers plucked at his harp as he sat down on the soft grass.

“It’s no problem. But what brings you here anyways? Not many people know of this spot.” Venti tilted his head. It seemed as though you uncovered his secret place.

“I- uh well...Accidents happen. I’m not a mad fan or a stalker, I swear. Well, maybe I am a fan but still.” You rambled but you forced yourself to stop talking and to breath. Venti is real and he is in front of me. Venti is real and he is in front of me.

Your heart was beating fast.

‘I should say something smart, introduce myself or something.’ You thought to yourself as you composed yourself.

You wanted to at least tell him your name but the words are out faster than you can stop them.

“Wanna grab a drink?”

#genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #readerinsert #fanfiction #childe x reader #genshin x reader

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rhysismydaddy · 3 years

Text

Unholy Matrimony Pt. 1 (Nessian)

Nesta’s part of the Damnation Series.

OOF this took so long sorry. I rewrote it, changed it, then deleted it entirely about 9 times. I literally started writing the version before you, from scratch, on Sunday. All parts are linked below, so I’m only tagging people on this version! To go to the next chapter, there is also a link at the bottom <3

ALSO, an important caviat: Nesta is an only child in this one! I originally wrote it for her to be adopted and not know it, but it wasn’t really relevant to the story, so... idk. Just ignore that plot hole I guess.

Parts 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 -- pls like each part I’m insecure

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~Cassian~

“You’re getting married.”

The glass of bourbon halfway to my mouth pauses, because despite being known for being rash and unpredictable, even I’m surprised by the sudden change in conversation.

My eyebrows raise as I look over at Rhysand, my best friend and Capo, trying to figure out if this bastard is serious. His tone says he is, but that doesn’t make sense, because before a few seconds ago, the word “marriage” was in neither of our vocabularies.

He’s been single for as long as I have, although I’m starting to suspect he’s got a bird in the city. He’s too damn happy these days, and the other day I saw him laugh at something on his phone.

Which is weird, because we both know long-term commitments don’t really do well with our lifestyle.

We were raised to not give a shit about anything except the job. We kill without remorse, live in the shadows, and whatever other shitty euphemism you want to use. Settling down in some suburban, picket-fence prison has absolutely no appeal to Made Men.

Don’t get me wrong, most of us get married at some point. But never for love.

Some men choose a bride that’s pretty and sweet. Someone who will donate to charity and help clean up their image. Governors’ daughters, women from old-money families, and social princesses make up this category.

Some men marry to advance their station in the Family. Second sons who will never inherit the business marry daughters of Underbosses to get a nice boost to their status.

And then there’s the ones who are forced to marry by their capo--ie. me-- so they choose whatever attractive woman that’s in the Family and available. Those are always the happiest.

But regardless of the reasoning, marriage in the mafia is heartless, political, and for me, unnecessary.

I know I’ll have to pick someone eventually, but there aren’t a whole lot of desirable options at the moment. Not many of the other Underbosses have daughters that are over the age of fifteen right now, and I have no interest in doing the child-bride thing.

Plus, there’s no way I’d marry someone outside of the family. At my rank, it isn’t an option.

That leaves... a widow?

The only one I know is Ianthe, and considering I highly suspect she killed her last husband and the fact that she’s crazy, there’s no way in hell I’d legally bind myself to her for life.

So he must be joking.

I take a pull from my cigar and look over at Rhys with narrowed eyes. “Uh huh. Sure. To who, exactly?”

“Volchonok.”

The Wolf Cub.

The cigar snaps in my fingers.

“You’re fucking kidding,” I say, honestly hoping that’s the case. He’s either that or insane, and I’d hate to lock someone who’s like a brother to me in a padded room.

Rhysand’s unflinching gaze doesn’t change, but his tone morphs from that of my friend to my boss. “You will marry her, Cassian.”

“She’s a fucking Russian,” I spit, not understanding. That should be reason enough for him to be joking.

In our world, being Russian is a crime similar to stabbing the Pope.

We’ve been at war over New York with them ever since they decided to try and get a stronghold on the east coast, and I’ve killed more of them than I can fucking count. Now I’m marrying one?

“Yes, she is, and so is her father, Alexei Olov.” Aka the Bratva Boss responsible for blowing up half of St. Petersburg last year when the local police refused to buy his weapons. “You will marry her, move to New York full time, and run the city with her by your side.”

“Why? Two or three more years, and we’ll have the city anyway.” Every day the Russians get weaker, and I’ve been responsible for pushing them out of my city block by block.

So there has to be a reason we’re suddenly okay with the enemy.

Rhysand sighs. “It was his idea, not mine. Orlov has agreed to sell our coke in Moscow and Seattle instead of his usual dealer and will supply us all the weapons we need for five years. There will also be no more midnight raids, bullshit arrests on bullshit charges, or missing shipments. He’s offering you a dowry, too.”

I don’t need his money, but the old fashioned term makes me laugh.

“Yeah? And how much does he think his wolf cub is worth?”

His lips twitch. “Ten million.”

“She must be a real pain in the ass, then, if he’s going to pay me that much to take her,” I chuckle.

Not that ten million dollars is anything but pocket change for the man. Orlov may be losing the fight in New York, but the bastard is richer than sin.

Selling arms to half of the entire world will do that to a person.

“I hear she’s beautiful,” he says, trying to tempt me to not fight him.

“Then you marry her,” I shoot back, not ready to give up the argument.

“I don’t feel like it.” Fucking typical. Rhysand sighs. “You and I both know we can work this deal to our advantage, so what will make you say yes?”

He could order to me to say yes and I’d have to, but he hates enforcing that kind of authority with me.

So I think it over, make a show of lighting a new cigar. “I want Sera.”

It’s a burlesque club in New York I’ve always been a little envious of, owned by Orlov and operated by his men. I’d tried to buy it a few years back but hadn’t had enough leverage on the Russian to strongarm him into selling.

Now I do.

Rhysand--the only one who knows about my failed attempt to buy the place--nods and tells me he’ll make it happen.

“When’s all this happening, anyway?”

He looks like he might laugh. “Wedding is in a month, but she’s flying in tomorrow night.”

A quick laugh forces its way out of me. Also typical of him to give me absolutely no time to change my mind.

Well, I have a month. That’s already longer than any relationship I’ve ever had.

Sighing, I stand and shake his hand, cementing the deal before I can even lament the loss of my bachelorhood.

~Nesta~

“Chto sluchilos?”

I slide my gaze to my father, because seriously, that’s the stupidest fucking question I’ve ever heard.

What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Everything.

“Nichego,” I lie, assuring him for what feels like the tenth time as I look out the window. The plane picks up speed and lifts off, taking me towards an uncertain future, an uncertain place.

I might have told him nothing’s wrong, but inside, I’m screaming.

Three days ago, I woke up to find a marriage contract on the pillow beside me. There was a blank space where my name had been typed and a pen waiting for me to remedy that.

I still haven’t.

I’m not signing anything until I meet this... Cassian.

God, what an Italian name.

An image springs to mind, one of a slumped-over, hairy-chest beast with slicked back hair and a gold chain.

I know it’s stereotypical and hopefully incorrect, but I’ve never been to Italy and Alexei strictly forbids me watching movies that portray Italians as anything except revolting.

But looks aside, there’s one thing I don’t need to guess to know.

My future husband will be like all the other men in my life: controlling.

Men in the world I live in take what they want, don’t ask for permission, and feel like they’re entitled to anything and everything. I’ve dealt with it my entire life, so it’s more amusing than anything at this point.

I guess I’m a bit non-traditional in that sense, considering most of the women around me have no problems taking orders from their fathers or husbands. But Alexei and I figured out pretty early in life that wasn’t going to work for me.

As he frequently likes to tell me, I started telling him to fuck off when I was five.

What did he expect? All the kids I hung out with were the opposite sex and at least five years older than me, so my vocabulary and mannerisms became pretty... colorful early on.

Regardless, I’m just not looking forward to having to deal with yet another man who thinks he can control me.

“Ty vresh',” Alexei accuses, lips twitching. You’re lying.

“Konechno.” Of course.

Of course I’m upset, but I understand what’s happening. I might have found out about it three days ago, but I’ve known it was coming for far longer.

As the only child of the great Alexei Orlov, Wolf of Moscow and Pakhan of the Russian Bratva, I’ve been told my entire life that I will one day be used as a pawn to gain more power.

It would--should--piss me off, but I’ve also been told I’m to one day take my father’s place and run his company.

So by gaining more power for him, I’m also doing the same for myself.

Not that I really give a shit about that kind of thing. I started officially working for Alexei years ago, and I already have enough money saved to never have to work again.

But in the Bratva, there’s no getting out. I was put in this world by birth, and the only thing that will take me out is death.

In case it isn’t obvious, I’m not a typical business woman.

My father is an arms-dealer.

A less than legal one, if you believe the heinous lies the media spreads about him.

He sells weapons to governments, private armies, and whoever the fuck else has the money to buy.

He’s also built himself a shipping empire to haul said weapons around the globe, runs the drugs and prostitute rings in Moscow, and has enough real estate to rival most small countries.

It probably sounds like I don’t care, and that’s because I don’t.

I like what I do in the sense that I have a mind for business. I went to business school and graduated at the top of my class, and I enjoy running the clubs and hotels I have. Trained by Alexei himself, I’m ruthless in negotiations, enough so that people started calling me the Wolf Cub by the time I was twenty.

But despite being good at it, I’m not particularly fond of the aspect most people think of when they picture my career in the Bratva. I detest drugs, have never hired a prostitute, and don’t really enjoy selling arms to bad people.

The alleyway meetups, the broken bones and bullet holes, and the blown up houses are all a little tiring to me.

Sure, it sounds exciting. And for a while, it was. I used to lose myself in the chaos, used to enjoy coming home with busted knuckles. But I honestly just got tired of it.

Right now, I don’t have to deal with it as much because Alexei’s still alive. But when he dies and I officially take over the family business, I’ll have to be more involved. Even if the thought makes me want to sigh.

I pull out my laptop and look over the financial report for Sera, my newest club in New York. As predicted, everything’s running smoothly.

I turn the laptop around to show my father, grinning when he pulls out his reading glasses and leans closer.

“Starik,” I tease. Old man.

He flicks my forehead, then reads the report and nods. Then he turns to his phone, probably playing Angry Birds or some shit, and leaves me to work.

The plane ride goes by quickly, and by the time we’ve landed in Chicago, I’ve gotten ahead on my schedule for next week, slept, and changed into what I’ve chosen as the “meeting my future husband” dress.

It’s simple and sleek, the black material clinging to my curves without being obscene. It’s long enough to hide the holster on my thigh, not that I feel in any danger with four personal guards stationed near me at all times.

My heels click as I make my way down the plane stairs and across the tarmac to the waiting sedan, and once my luggage and belongings are unloaded, we head to the Italian Capo’s house.

We’re meeting here, finalizing the contract, and then Cassian and I are flying to New York.

My new home.

“Try to look happy,” Alexei tells me, his heavily accented English almost ridiculous to hear. He speaks English only when he’s in the states, and considering he hasn’t come here since I graduated B school two years ago, he’s a little out of practice.

“I’m ecstatic,” I say, intentionally using a word I know he doesn’t understand.

His eyes narrow, because it isn’t the first time I’ve used this trick, but he doesn’t call me out on it. We continue to ride in ecstatic silence, eventually pulling up in front of the Capo’s... house.

It’s almost obscene to call it that, considering it’s fucking huge. Like obnoxiously huge.

I heave a sigh, step out of the car, and take in my surroundings. The neighborhood’s quiet, likely filled with friends of the Cosa Nostra too scared to make any noise.

A butler--seriously, a butler--opens the door and welcomes us inside, and as soon as I step in, I have to repress the urge to roll my eyes.

The amount of dirty money in the air is suffocating. It drips off the vaulted ceilings, down the artwork on the walls, across the marble floors. It’s in the little details of the crystal chandeliers and the mahogany staircase.

Ridiculous.

One look at Alexei’s disgusted face says he’s thinking the same thing.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re rich. Grossly so. Alexei could have ten houses just like this, if he wanted them.

But he doesn’t. He owns property all over the world, but most of it is commercial or apartment complexes--property that makes him money, in other words. This, however, is a massive waste of capital.

The butler leads us further through the house and into an office where four men wait.

One is immediately identifiable as their lawyer, his over-priced cologne making me have to resist the urge to sneeze. The humongous man in the corner is hired muscle, if the boxy shape of the guns under his jacket is any indication.

The man behind the desk is obviously in charge, so I’m guessing he’s the Capo. Rhysand or Rhyland or something weird like that. He takes me in silently, bright eyes not seeming to miss any details.

That leaves the man leaning against the desk to be Cassian Azara.

My fiancé.

Our eyes meet, his golden gaze beautiful and wild, and I have to remember to keep my expression bored.

Because the stereotype, the horrible image I’d conjured up in my mind, couldn’t be further from the truth.

For one, he isn’t hunched-over. He stands tall, leaning a hip against his Capo’s desk with obvious confidence. But I see more than just self-assuredness in his eyes. He seems a little too rough around the edges, wild gaze almost like he’s daring someone to swing at him.

If the confidence didn’t already make him attractive, his looks sure as hell get the job done.

His hairs long and dark and curly, half of it pulled up in a rouge manner that clashes with the suit he’s filling. He has a few days’ stubble, too, like standing still long enough to shave just isn’t an option.

His shoulders are impossibly wide, narrowing down to trim hips and legs long enough to make him tower over everyone in the room.

His knuckles are tattooed and split open, and there’s a cut above his eyebrow that tells me I was correct to assume he’s a fighter by nature.

Usually, that would be a deterrent for me, but there’s something about the way he’s dressed in a dark suit jacket and crisp white shirt while also looking so untamed that has me cocking my head to study him some more.

He studies me, too, beautiful eyes taking in the long blonde hair and bright blue eyes offset by pale skin. He looks at the dress like he can see everything underneath, and I have the strangest urge to blush. Jesus, he’s toxic.

He’s attractive, is what I’m getting at.

Which is not what I had planned on, considering I’d been trying to think of a plan on how to not sleep with him, but suddenly that’s all my mind can focus on.

His lips twitch like he knows what I’m thinking, and I realize we’ve just been standing here staring at each other for a bit too long.

So I turn back to Alexei and shrug like I’ve seen what my future husband has to offer and aren’t impressed in the slightest.

I toss the marriage contract on the desk, grab the Capo’s fancy little fountain pen out of his hand, and sign my name on the blank above my name.

Cassian watches, but I ignore him entirely until the ink has dried. Then I look up at him through my lashes and wink, turn on my heel, and leave the room.

~Cassian~

I think I’m in love.

Fuck.

She hasn’t said a single goddamn word, but the way she looked at me has me feeling itchy all over, anticipation and nerves rolling through me. I feel like I feel before I fight or something exciting happens.

Like I’m primed and ready and need it to happen now.

Nesta Orlov, my bride to be, is nothing like I expected.

I was fully braced for some meek little woman, similar to most of my friends’ wives, to come in and smile and say hello.

But nope. Nesta didn’t smile; she came in like she was walking onto a battlefield.

And she didn’t smile. She looked me over, clinical blue gaze noticing too much, and left me feeling winded. God, she’s beautiful. Just looking at her made me hot.

She also didn’t say hello.

Just signed the contract and left, like this was nothing more to her than a boring business deal. I mean, that’s what it is, but... I don’t know, I expected more of a reaction.

I’ve heard from some Underbosses that their wives cried or raged when they were forced to sign, but shit if that were the case with Nesta. She honest to God looked like she didn’t care.

Alexei, on the other hand, does look a little pissed about the situation, but I couldn’t care less of the old man’s opinion. He’s signed the contract, so to me, he’s irrelevant. Regardless, he and Rhys proceed to iron out some of the details about the wedding and other shit I’m not paying attention to.

Then they shake hands, and the Russian warlord turns to leave.

He reaches the door and looks over his shoulder at me, and there’s amusement in his cold gaze as he mutters, “Udachi.” Good luck.

As soon as he’s gone, Roman and the lawyer follow, leaving me alone with Rhys.

He slides the contract to me, and I sign my name next to hers, making this shit official.

“This should be interesting,” he comments, vague as usual.

I sigh, because I have a feeling interesting isn’t going to cover it.

_____________________________________________________

NEXT CHAPTER

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