#he's always keeping it real
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#he's just like me fr
#nicholas galitzine#the idea of you#mine*#yeah....#he's always keeping it real#introverted king its okay#also i love that he always says this yet he is ALWAYS spotted talking to famous people at events#so like... it shows he is actually respected by others#and they want to have a conversation with him#in general he just gives off welcoming and warm energy and i think thats great#you mean to tell me there is the possibility of more interviews with him looking like this#okay!
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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?
I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?
In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".
Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.
This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.
Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.
The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]
There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.
This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]
As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.
But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?
Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.
#transgender#trans history#transsexual#transphobia#Magnus Hirschfeld#holocaust#holocaust denial#book burning#j.k. rowling#jk rowling#just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :)#trans people have always existed#and we will always exist#if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit#queer history#queer#lgbt+#lgbta+#lgbt#lgbt history#edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month#also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it#it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs#and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had#also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2#Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices#considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived
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Recently Youtube's algorithm really wants me to watch Schindler's List and I never had so the other night I sat down and actually watched it.
Having a lot of thoughts about it but a major one I keep coming back to is how even an immensely and deeply flawed human being can go against "just following orders" and instead put in the work to actually help.
It may never be fully enough. It may never save as many as you'd hoped. But when you have a choice to either follow orders or save your fellow humans in front of you, I hope you choose the latter.
Schindler died in poverty. He was not a renown war hero nor was he at all famous or widely beloved. But he saw that he could help, even in some small way, and so he helped.
He was a Nazi who saw what the Nazis were doing to Jews and said no more. Enough. If I can even spare those under my charge, maybe a few extras, then at least I will have tried to do something about this.
I think a lot of people do not fancy this type of activism. It is messy, dangerous, and often completely thankless. Schindler survived as long as he did after the war due to those he saved helping him with donations. He was not popular in his hometown due to his association with Nazis, he was not popular in Germany, he was not popular in Argentina. His businesses all failed. His wife left him. A movie about his deeds was released several years after his death, where he would receive none of the benefits. He went to prison multiple times for simply refusing to hate Jews.
I think a lot of people like to think they're activists, but are sorely unprepared for doing this type of work, and then in truth become activists in name only. This is hard work. But without him, another thousand or so people would be on that death toll.
He took his position of extreme power- a Nazi owning a factory almost entirely operated by Jews, making oodles of money off that cheap slave labor- and said you know what? No. I'm not doing that. I can't save everyone, but as long as they are within my factory, you will not kill my workers. As long as I'm here you aren't harming one hair on the head of any Jew under my care. You're not sending or keeping them in Auschwitz. You're not randomly executing them for entertainment. They're people. You're not murdering them.
"Just following orders" they say. But they didn't have to. They could have helped. They could have did what he did, look around and say "what the fuck am I doing here", and stop. He did. They could have. They didn't.
#I think it's also intereating that he did not do it out of compassion at first#he did it because it was smart capitalism#jewish labor was super cheap and they were desperate to be considered fit to work because otherwise execution was waiting for them#only after the cleansing of the ghetto did he say whoa okay holy shit yeah no I'm not doing this anymore#that's also true of the real man the movie is about#I also think it's interesting that not everyone he saved thinks he was a good person#but even still despite his flaws they respect and admire what he did for them#his motives were not always pure#but the fact of the matter is that when he saw what was happening he chose to act against it#he did not shrug and saw welp orders are orders#nor did he succumb to hopelessness when it became difficult to keep up what he was doing
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It’s hard to escape self doubt
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#turtle art tag#once again reiterating that I keep forgetting color exists#anyway this was fun! very quick drawing so plz ignore mistakes 😭#just wanted to mess around with colors and as always leo gets to be my muse#but yeah I like to think that Leo’s at his most real all alone#leo: I’m nothing without my brothers#also leo: *purposefully goes off on his own a lot*#I love him because by god does he contain a myriad of contradictions#he toes the line between selfish and selfless like it’s a dance
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He has!!! ARIVED!!!!!
He's here he's here he's here!!!!!! Safe and sound!!! We sat down and did some coloring together!!!!
And also made sure he met his new neighbors! Had a nice chat with my childhood stuffed animal! Asking all about what his new home is like. And of course, he had to meet Boober Fraggle!
Watched some Winnie the Pooh together! I think he really liked it. I hope he felt warm and welcomed in my home. A nice and cozy first day here!
#welcome home#wally darling#welcome home puppet show#welcome home arg#not art#i mean except for the crayon doodle-#nfndjfkdk#IM FILLED WITH SO MUCH JOY RN!!!!!#Hes HERE!! i keep grabbing his little face with my hand!#hes so sweet. hes so small!#AAAAA I GET TO SPIN HIM FOR REAL!!!!!!!!#PICKING HIM UP AND SPINNING HIM IRL!!!!!#I wanna get a lil voice box for him so bad.#Specifically of him saying “Keep your smile merry and always know that I love you. Very much.”#like you have no idea NO IDEA#i need to find one small enough though!!!!!!#and get help. cause haha i cannot sew#anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!! jdjfjdkkfkfj Celebrated with cartoons and cracked open a box of crayons just for him!#literally#ive been saving those crayons for when he got here. didnt open them till today!!!!#SPECIAL CRAYONS FOR SPECIAL MAN!#also cant not imagine him staring in awe at my rainbow keyboard. hed love that shit#sorry if this is too silly and sappy im just!!!! so happy right now!!!!!
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i know the hunger games isnt about romance i know it isnt a love story but. theres just something so beautiful in the way peeta is the personification of what it means to heal and he /is/ the dandelion and the bread and the hope that things can be better even if they wont be fixed. even if the nightmares dont stop he will still hold her. wake her up and tell her shes alive. shes safe. and when its over and done and theres no more saving or protecting or trying their absolute hardest to die if it means keeping the other alive, the horrors dont stop. but katniss will still find that comfort in peetas arms.
#and peeta Goes Through It too but hes there!!!!!!!! hes always there and hes kind and artistic and peaceful and good and everything that#the games could never destroy (the hijacking couldve but he found his way back. he still wonders whats real sometimes but he knows. he know#who he is. a painter a baker and a boy who loves. she reminds him of that love too)#anyways :( katniss longs for peetas arms and nobodys been this gentle with her since her father died and she stopped letting her mother#hold her. and peeta does#something about the way he holds her so so gently with so much love and care despite all the destruction and how peeta counteracts the fire#in katniss. the one that tells her she needs to protect and defend and prioritize keeping her family alive and keep her guard up. but hes#there to comfort her and hold her and protect her and those r all the things katniss doesnt get the privilege of thinking about because she#always thinking about who she needs to protect#its so personal to me. god i am Not okay rn#i have a rehearsal before school tmr and i am sooooo sleepy but. insane thoughts can never wait#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#peeniss#< the real ship name#the hunger games#thg#late night thoughts & all that jazz#🫀
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sudden yearning for time travelling teen jiang fengmian lands at lotus pier fic that winds up being about a perfectly nice kid having a varying series of "oh no. i don't like that. that's a lot" reactions.
#i think in order for this to be satisfying i have to give grace and interiority to teenmian#i'm picturing an older teen like 18ish? maybe even early 20s?#big crush on csr he's already pretty sure isn't going to work out#but at least he'll always have wei-xiong#anyway this is my ploy to give jfm a chance at an ugly crying meltdown#he's trying so hard to be even keeled and like#maybe take this as an evil vision designed to teach him something#but somewhere in between my crush stole my man and then they died#my whole sect burned#my grown ass son who is older than me making the vibe sooooo weird#and my grandson! child of my dead???? daughter??????#is just like yeah he never talks about you. no never never#and then wwx blows into town and idk somehow they all end up at dinner together and jfm politely calls lqr a punk ass bitch in front of lwj#because what???? context clues suggest lqr has the fucking nerve to not like wei xiong's baby after All That#only for adult son with the weird vibes#to imply only filial piety is keeping him from naming the real#punk ass bitch#anyway this ends with jfm crying because clearly he marries yuanyuan and she HATES HIM and then his own son ALSO HATES HIM#and would rather stupid Lan-er-gongzi#be his dad.#if you like lqr so much why don't you just join the lan sect then?????#and that's how jc learns he didn't get it all from his mama#jc didn't mean it he was stressed! this isn't his dad it's an a-ling sized kid. but it's still stressful
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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#inb4 keeping people against their will is bad but god. thats exactly how ed probably feels#he feels like the hopelessly in love one whos lover is constantly just waiting to leave him again for his Real wife#ed just feels like even if stede stays for any length of time hes just gonna get swept up in the next big thing and leave him#hes just gonna wanna be a pirate and leave#thats why he can never land.... he has to be the impossible bird always flying....#i think she also rescued odysseus from the sea and ed rescued stede when they met#ofmd
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GAMING IS MY SON AND IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM IM GONNA KILL EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM AND THEN MYSELF!!
LOOK AT HIM HES SO CUTE
i still have hope in getting the other boys too
its ok they can be a band or smth.. at least then gaming wouldn’t have to be so disappointed in people not hiring him bc he’s just having fun with his boys…
#it took me soooo long to realize his name can also be 'gaming' and idk if i should be ashamed or proud lol#his hashtag is gonna get real funny real quick#is it actually an intentional business decision made by hyv#no way this was accidental#anyway im disappointed in his hair design but i stopped feeling much since all genshin charas always have the ugliest hairstyles#also him being another bennett just not as unlucky#he works so hard and still tries to achieve his artistic dream at the same time#but people just smile and ignore him…PAY THE DUDE!!!#ALSO ALSO.. chiaki 2.0 and they better add all other ryuseitai next#i just can get over how energetic and cool genshin concept designs are when the game keeps slapping us with a downgraded version every time#not to say current designs aren’t energetic or cool.. just not as much lol (still salty about red xiao and those flying nahidas)#now i know why they still not doing an art book yet.. they’re ashamed to admit of the amounts of good designs they never use#AND I LOVE GENSHIN DESIGNS honest (otherwise why would i keep doing fanart of this game and this game only for 3 years)#sorry i dont post all of them.... i have issues#but i cant help but feel robbed when i see these designs knowing what they could’ve been#and it’s in no way hyv’s fault *glance at leakers* and the new designs are getting crazier and cooler but#please for the love of god hyv stop with the mullets PLEASE!!!#gaming#ga-ming#gaming genshin#genshin impact
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actually I love Tentoo and he is the Doctor and it was the only ending for Rose that worked and it is a huge gift to be able to have the man she loves grow old with her, they were always heading for that, y'all be quiet. I 100% understand the angst but it's okay, they're okay, good ending-
#did you want her to...not end up with the doctor?#she ended up with the doctor. she ended up with the doctor and they get to AGE together#they get to have a real honest relationship the way they both always genuinely wanted#it's hard that the full time lord version has to carry on without her but that is the way that character's story ALWAYS goes#the doctor does not get to keep ANYONE. it would be a different show if he did#meanwhile there is a version of that same face of his - the one that was MADE for love? particularly born out of love for ROSE? the one 1/2#2/2 that always wanted a FAMILY? and stability? and a normal life? the tenth doctor longed for that specifically because of rose#now he gets to have it AND be part-human so he doesn't have to watch her get old. he gets old WITH HER#and they're canonically growing their own Tardis so you don't even have to be sad that they're not adventuring in time and space as usual#because they ARE. it's the kindest ending for either character. and if the full time lord hadn't left without either of them-#-he would have had to lose them eventually. lose Rose because she's human? hello? painful? but instead he was selfless and left her-#-with a proper happy ending. which she CHOSE to have so you can't be like “he tricked her!” she chose to kiss one of them and it was Tentoo#they are the same man. Rose won in this scenario.#and I GET IT I am with Billie Piper I think it will always feel a little off that she was left with Tentoo and not the full time lord#I understand. it still makes me a little sad. but I know it's a good ending writing-wise. really the ONLY ending.#yes I know about the popular idea of Immortal!Rose or Bad Wolf Rose or whatever and that's cute and all BUT - it's not a GOOD thing#it's not PREFERABLE to be immortal. Rose doesn't want to live forever. she wants to be with the man she LOVES forever.#she doesn't want to not die or adventure for all time. she wants to be there to hold his hand. and when Tentoo is born she gets THAT!#Immortal!Rose is tragic. the Doctor would not wish the burden of immortality on the woman he loves HELLO#anyway#I ship timepetals. that includes Tentoo/Rose. because he is the doctor#so there#I have more thoughts on Tentoo specifically but I digress#maybe if provoked in an Ask or something idk#doctorrose#timepetals#opinion piece#tenrose#tentoo#handy
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1x03 // 8x10 // 16x03
↳ Dennis + biting his hand
#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#dennis reynolds#ada's gifs#for once there's no real correlation between these#he's thinking in the first holding himself back in the second and trying to keep from smiling in the third#ada speaks#dennisisms
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Have you ever been late to a team meeting?
#alex albon#f1#formula 1#f1edit#mine*#pls you can always count on alex to keep it real#valid points were made.... b roads are hell#but at least he calls and gives them a heads up!!!!#considerate king
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Thinking about how Leo says he uses his jokes to cope and y’know, thinking harder on it I think it may very well be because of what else uses one-liners and puns and that type of humor.
Specifically, 80’s action movies and campy sci-fi. Even more specifically, the protagonists of these.
So I can imagine why, exactly, Leo leans toward this brand of humor. It’s directly linked to things he loves! But even more than that is why I think it’s used as a coping mechanism.
In these genres, these quips tend to be said by the winner - or, if not a winner, then someone who will stay alive. So there’s a confidence behind them, an assurance, almost, that even if things go wrong, things aren’t ever too serious. There’s no bad endings here! It’s all good fun, even if the stakes seem high.
Leo canonically has been known to steer his brothers away from the more brutal villains and toward more fun, lighthearted activities and not-so-dangerous criminals. So for Leo, these jokes definitely make things less heavy, make the situations they find themselves in less intense.
It’s kinda not just coping, but also can be seen as a form of escapism. A safety blanket. A way for Leo to defuse the tension of knowing just how dangerous their lives are and replace that with a levity which implies that things will be okay.
Unfortunately, levity alone does not alter reality.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt headcanons#how pretentious can I sound when talking about a fictional turtle more at eight#anyway I always loved to think about Leo’s quick line about coping with humor#I don’t care how much people think it doesn’t REALLY matter it’s fun to play around with tbh#also love the idea that Leo’s sense of humor comes from the protags of his fav campy series#(+ from his confident and awesome big sis April)#like idk Leo’s special interests directly paving out how he presents himself both to others and in general is so interesting to me!!!#he is someone who KNOWS people and their quirks so 100% he caught on to that 80’s style of quippy one-liners-#-and associated that with safety and levity#even the villains of these genres who spout off quips tend to be the ones who survive!#Leo desperately fighting to keep the same lighthearted genre as 87 TMNT as the horrors of 2003 and 2012 loom on the horizon#and I think something important to note is that Leo KNOWS things are real#he is WELL AWARE of how dangerous things can get for them#but he copes anyway because it’s easier to deal with everything that way#bro just wants he and his family to be safe tbh
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10th Doctor's "London, most exciting city in the world" vs 12th Doctor's "London, what a dump"
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Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️
That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.
If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:
Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest
Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.
Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.
I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:
Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)
Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle
Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement
Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:
When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation
Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks
Stretch after binding
Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest
If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method
Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it
In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.
#ask#anon#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#long post#if anybody has other tips or ideas then feel free to speak up#this is what i did before officially binding and what i have seen other trans people do in lieu of getting a 'real' binder#it did suck when i was coming out because i don't think my family had any idea how *their* hang-ups with... me as a person... affected me#and i think a lot of people get their preconceived notions or headcanons of you stuck in their head to the point that it is Reality#i think part of why my dad started actually *trying* to accept me was him realizing that i was actively hiding things from him...#...like he loves me and our relationship is fine now but i'm not going to pretend like he didn't massively blunder after i came out#and if it turns out that your parents don't ever come around (gd forbid) then you aren't obligated to keep them#you don't choose your parents but you can choose your family i think#i always always hope that parents come around to their child/ren and the reality of who they are but i recognize how messy it all is#anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them#i have many complex feelings about this and that's my own baggage. i hope i haven't put words into your mouth or assumed anything too much#i am sending you best wishes and care. this too shall pass💛
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